Weiss Reacts: Volume 2!
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Our loveable heiress reacts to even more fanfictions, tropes and antics. Sequel to Weiss Reacts. Parody, crack, AU, OOC stuff, OCs, crossovers, and whatnot. Rated T for antics and insanity. RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth. Chapter: The Harvest Festival Finale! "You underestimated us." As always, NO RVB REQUESTS. Part of the Reactsverse. Dedicated to Monty Oum. COMPLETE.
1. Weiss Reacts to Beginnings, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Beginnings, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the very first chapter of Weiss Reacts: Volume 2! Yes, we're doing this, and we are BACK! Yeah! Woo!**

**Firstly, to answer some questions I got back during the last chapter of volume 1, yes, there will be a Super Smash Bros chapter eventually. To confirm several rumours and stuff, we will be doing Emergence and RWBYQuest in addition to doing Enerjack's Sun Ragekong and Half-Blind Otaku's We Were Close. For now, The Games We Play and Blood Rose stay out of our grasp- mostly because I don't have time to ask their authors if I can do a Reacts of their stories yet, but stay tuned!**

**Well, without further ado, let's get this show on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Zwei would be a tamed Grimm.**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective franchises.**

* * *

"Ugh..."

Weiss groaned, pulling herself out of bed, sore and tired, blinking at the sun streaming through the curtains of RWBY dorm. Yang and Blake's bunks were empty, and the heiress could see Ruby in the corner by the counter, making some hot chocolate and toast and humming to herself.

Weiss smiled a little at the adorable image of the reaper- her girlfriend of several months now and partner of several years- in such a quaint activity, before shaking her head and pulling herself out of bed.

"Hey, Ruby."  
Ruby looked behind her. "Oh, hey, Weiss. You're up!" She grinned, before pointing over at the hot chocolate and toast. "Have some. I was making some for you in case you wanted any."  
"Thanks." Weiss grabbed a mug and a piece of toast. "Where are Blake and Yang?"  
"At breakfast." The reaper casually responded. "You should probably hurry up with that."  
"Huh? Why?"  
"Ozpin wants everyone down there by nine fifteen." The reaper clarified, pointing at the cookie-shaped clock by their bed that said 'nine ten'.

"FIVE MINUTES?!" Weiss cried in disbelief. "Dust dammit, and I thought the idiotic circumstances around me would END with that stupid Antic War!

...I'll take these down there. And why aren't you going yet?!"  
Ruby shrugged. "Super speed, remember?"  
"Ah. Right." The heiress sighed. "Very well."

Moments later, the world was treated to the image of a panicked Weiss Schnee running down the corridor, a piece of toast in her mouth, a mug of steaming chocolate in her hands, running across her glyphs to make herself move faster.

"Dust dammit I'm going to be late!"

The heiress sped past surprised student and staff member alike, without spilling a single crumb or drop of her breakfast, making her way down to the dining hall.

* * *

Shortly, the heiress arrived at the hall, half a minute left on the clock, as Ruby leaned by the doorframe, crossing her arms.

"Weiss! What took you so long?" She asked sincerely.

The heiress, exhausted from the effort, could only give her an icy glare, before wheezing out, "Just...open the door."

"Sorry~" Ruby pouted, before opening the door and allowing Weiss to stumble to the table team RWBY shared with team JNPR- with a conspicuously missing Blake and Nora ravenously consuming pancakes and maple syrups, and Ren staring longingly at the maple syrup bottle. Yang could be seen laughing at Ren's plight, while Pyrrha panicked trying to stop Nora from making a mess, and Jaune just sighed, exasperated.

As she did so, the heiress looked around to see the students assembled. Cardin was sitting at the table next to theirs, surrounded by the Malachite sisters- with Cardin's arm around his girlfriend Melanie- and Sky, his companion, and sharing it with team CFVY, where Velvet clutched a Weiss plushie and cooed quietly to it, and Coco, currently taken over by the Espresso personality, making passes at a very embarrassed Fox, with a straight-faced Yatsuhashi unamused by the antics of his team. Over at the table next to theirs, team MLDY, with Melody clutching a burning cereal bowl, Fionn clutching his groin after laughing at her, and Lukas and Yukari arguing as usual, shared it with team SSSN, or rather Sun and Neptune, who were playing cards. The gentlemanly dinosaur Sir Lyserg the Utahraptor sat with them, playing cards with them and drinking tea.

Finally, next to both tables, were a table shared by team SONA, with Elsa Schnee- reading a book-, Norn in her maid costume, working on some calculations for Blake and Minako, fiddling with what appeared to be a cosplay launcher, and their fourth member Ori, reading up on Arthurian legend- and four of the seven Arc sisters; Aspasia, the tiniest and strongest, Maeve, the witch, and Lucina and Euphemia, the blatant carbon copy expies, all speaking with their sisters on another table next to them.

Weiss finally slumped at the seat next to Yang and Ruby, sighing. She placed her mug lightly on the table and looked over at the empty seat.

"Where's Blake?"  
Yang chuckled. "Oh, she had something to do~"  
"Oh, _please_ don't tell me it's another stupid antic..."  
Ruby raised a finger to tell her, but she was interrupted as Blake fell through the ceiling, landing perfectly on the chair, wearing triangle shades and her red Team Antic cape, emblazoned with the stylized flaming rose and triangle shades logo.

"Who called?"

"I...I won't even ask, Belladonna." Weiss facepalmed. "I won't even ask."

"PANCAKES" Nora yelped happily, shoving handful after handful of the foodstuff into her mouth.

"Nora, shush." Ren cautioned her softly. "Ozpin's standing up now."

Indeed, at the head of the hall, the headmaster stood up, surrounded by Glynda and Cinder, and joined by Professors Oobleck and Port. To their right was Professor Yona Arc, Jaune's mother and the resident skimpily-dressed large-breasted red-headed sniper professor of Weaponcraft, and to their left was Professor Yuko Kanoe, ex-ghost and professor of Supernatural Studies andProfessors Ludwig Amadeus and Gretchen Faust, professors of Music and various unrelated things respectively.

Behind them stood the miniscule Beth Lupin, the ever beleaguered caretaker and janitor of Beacon, who glared at Blake as she watched the hole in the ceiling the catgirl's impact had left, and Tukson, the librarian and resident master of martial arts, viewing the hall with arms folded and breath bated.

"Maaaaan. That's a long intro." Yang whistled.

"Quiet, Yang. Quit breaking the fourth wall, Ozpin's going to set some stuff up now." Blake shushed her partner.

* * *

Ozpin looked around the hall, waiting for silence, calmly surveying the hall, coffee mug in hand.

When the hall finally fell into silence, the headmaster cleared his throat.

"Alright. Good morning, my students. Now, the reason I've called you all here today is to give you several announcements." Ozpin stated calml.

"Firstly is to do with the staff. I'd like to announce that Miss Tohru Honda, Professor Fall's temporary teaching assistant, is staying on to help with Miss Lupin's caretaking duties owing to...last week's incident proving that our staff may be a little inadequate."  
Yang chuckled. "Heh. He got that right."  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "You and Ren are such idiots, starting that stupid thing over such a tiny little problem..."  
Blake laughed. "But that WAS an epic last battle, wasn't it? I mean-"

"Secondly," Ozpin continued, clearing his throat again. "I would like to announce that Mister Roman Torchwick is returning from his vacation, not to resume his post as Professor Fall's teaching assistant, but as the new professor of Huntsmanship and Finance, owing to Professor Ebenezer retiring last week to spend time with his...family." The headmaster hesitated. "With that, I hope, Professor Fall will have no excuse to delegate her workload to other staff members."

Cinder pouted. "I have other things to do, Ozpin! Now where will I find the time to enjoy my burritos?! Where will I find the time to enjoy my smut?!"

She collapsed to the floor dramatically, kneeling and looking to the sky. "WHERE WILL I FIND TIME TO COMMIT ANTICS?!"

Tohru and Roman, however, could only share a smile, no longer having to deal with Cinder's ridiculously large workload. They had a miniature toast of glasses, to celebrate their new posts.

Beth, however, could only shake her head at the former, sighing. "Poor souls..."

Meanwhile, among the students, many stood up and clapped; Roman was a popular man for his sarcastic demeanour, his choice of fashion and his often sound business advice, and Tohru was well-liked for being personable and adorable, although much less well-liked than the likes of Roman, clearly.

"Okay, so Tohru's staying and Roman's back!" Yang cheered. "That's awesome!"

"At least we get two more sane people on staff." Weiss muttered. "Because having the older version of Yang on it is enough to make it completely insane..."

Blake rolled her eyes. "And what's Cinder whining about? I'm pretty sure she only had to mark three tests. She didn't need two teaching assistants to do it for her."

"Next is the annual Incubator Patrol. As all of you are aware, ever since the year that many of our staff attended- among them Professors Goodwitch, Fall, Arc, Kanoe and Torchwick- Beacon, we have been plagued by visits by a white cat-like creature referred to as an Incubator, often asking to fulfil the wishes of those approached. If you are approached, do not accept his offer, as I am sure Professor Goodwitch has instilled into those who look into it..." Ozpin clarified.

Yang rolled her eyes. "He means that Kyubey's back."  
"Kyubey?" Jaune tilted his head. "What, like that guy from Puella Magi? That cat guy?"

"Every year, he tries to feed on poor innocent little freshies." Blake grumbled. "And every year, we stop him. Granted, not like anyone here WANTS magic powers, what with everyone here having Semblances and stuff..."

"If you would like to sign up for the Incubator Patrol, please consult with Blake Belladonna after breakfast and she will provide you with appropriate equipment to, _ahem_, subdue the Incubator."

Blake smirked. "It's Kyubey hunting duty tonight, kids."

"He SERIOUSLY comes here looking for contractors?" Jaune looked at her in disbelief.

"Yep. I'm in charge of the guys who're meant to stop him. It's so fun, too, just riding around the school like real men!" Blake pumped her fist triumphantly.

Yang grinned at her. "Come on, you're letting me on this, right?"  
"Oh, definitely. We're breaking out the mechs this year, too. Time to see what that little bastard cat thing thinks of a Giga Drill Break to the face." The catgirl declared.

Weiss facepalmed. "Oh, goody. Wreck the school _again_ so soon after you wrecked it just last week!"

"It's for a good cause!" Yang retorted.

"Yeah, the cause of stomping a smug little bastard back into the ground where he belongs." Blake chuckled.

"Finally, I would like to announce a camping trip in the upcoming weeks, headed by none other than our Professor Fall." The headmaster announced proudly. "Further detail will be provided later. For now, enjoy your meal, and good day!"

* * *

_After breakfast..._

Pyrrha was sitting down by herself, sighing. She watched Jaune wander off to grab himself a snack from the vending machine wistfully.

"If only he'd notice me...I mean...I've done everything I can." Pyrrha complained. "I've kidnapped him, made him food, danced with him, and even challenged his date to a duel! How hard can it be to get someone to notice you?!"  
"Lonely, huh?" Velvet sat next to her, with Vivi, the resident living Weiss plushie, waving at her.

"Pipipi!"  
"...yeah," The spearmaiden sighed. "I suppose." Moving aside, she let the bunnygirl sit next to her.

"You know, I feel the same about Weiss. She never notices me!"  
"I live in the same dorm as Jaune and yet he notices Weiss, Ruby, and Minako over me." Pyrrha pouted. "What about me? I'm cute! I'm available!"  
"I know, I'm the ensemble darkhorse AND an adorable Aussie-accented yandere bunny for Oum's sake! AND I've got a cute sidekick!" Velvet added.

"Pipipipipi." Vivi commented sarcastically.

"Okay, fine, little partner."  
"Pipipi."  
"Assistant?"  
"Piiii?"  
"...equal in antics." Velvet sighed, rolling her eyes.

Vivi crossed her arms triumphantly. "Pi."

Pyrrha sighed. "I just wish I could...you know, do something about that..."  
Velvet rubbed her chin, thinking. "You know, the Kyubey Patrol's going out tonight. That means most of the Antic Order, which includes that accursed Yang and Blake'll be going hunting for Kyubey. Nora will probably come, as will Ren."  
Pyrrha looked at her, her eyes widening in realisation. "Which means, as Weiss and Jaune never do Kyubey Patrol duty..."

The two stalkers shared a look.

"...you pondering what I'm pondering?"  
"We've got to plan something."

"Pipipipipi." Vivi sighed, licking a vanilla sorbet with her small plushie tongue.

"What do you mean it'll go wrong as usual?"  
"Pipipipi. Pipi pipipipi, pipipipi pipipi pi pii piiiiii pippipipi." Vivi gesticulated, using large stick puppets of Velvet and Weiss and gesturing the former to the latter.

"I don't always fail!" Velvet protested.

Vivi just gave her an incredulous look.

"...okay, maybe fifty percent. But trust me..." The bunnygirl smirked at Pyrrha, who smiled.

"Tonight...we get our beloved. Meet me by Professor Ebenezer's old classroom."

Pyrrha rubbed her hands, giggling.

'_Yes! Tonight...finally...m-my Jaune-kun will notice me!'_

Meanwhile, in RWBY dorm...

Ruby examined two, small, round packages. One package was addressed to her and Yang, the other to Blake.

Weiss walked in, a pack of vanilla sorbet in her hands. She looked over at Ruby.

"Hm? What are those?"  
"These arrived for us in the mail." The reaper explained. "None for you, but-"  
"Ooooooh!" Yang squeed. "I know where one of them's from! That's from dad!"

"Da-oh. Don't tell me..." Ruby's eyes lit up with glee.

"What?" Weiss scratched her head.

"Arf!" A happy yelp emanated from the package, and the heiress just facepalmed.

"Oh, _don't tell me..._"

"Our dad sent us our dog by mail!" Ruby giggled, opening up the package, as a cylindrical bundle of fur slipped out, before popping out to reveal a tiny, happy-looking corgi.

Yang introduced Weiss to their dog. "Weiss, meet Zwei. Zwei, meet Weiss!"

"Arf!" Zwei hung his tongue out playfully at Weiss, who crossed her arms.

"H-hmph! T-that scruffy little thing...h-he isn't adorable. S-stupid idiots. G-get it out of my sight!"  
"Arf arf!" Zwei nuzzled Weiss' leg, being already aware within seconds that Weiss was in fact the biggest tsundere of all time and secretly already adored him.

Weiss had to do her best not to pick up the dog and hug it, such was her love of little adorable puppies- of course, secondary to her love of sharks.

Blake chuckled. "Aww...he's so cute."

"Wait, aren't you, like, a cat Faunus?" Yang paused. "You're not scared?"  
"Nah. I'm not my unmanly canon self." Blake scoffed. "I'm too badass to be scared by that. He's cute! Aaaaand he's named after, what, Ein from Cowboy Bebop?"  
"Dad's a big otaku." Ruby explained, nodding. "He got us both into anime."  
"Well, some of it was mom, but she doesn't like the sad ones. They always make her cry." Yang giggled.

Blake chuckled deeply. "Oh. You guys...you have an adorable family. And an adorable pet.

I have one better."

Weiss looked over at her. "What could that possibly be?"

The catgirl smirked, grabbing her package and opening it.

"I present to you...the Belladonna family dog! Oh _Ceeeerberuuuuus!"_

Suddenly, a very large Beowolf leapt out of her package, snarling at everyone. Weiss, Yang and Ruby jumped in surprise.

"W-what?!"  
"Is that a _Grimm?!_"

"Oh, for DUST'S sake, BLAKE!"

Zwei just tilted his head at it, hanging his tongue out.

Blake pouted. "...Cerberus doesn't bite. He's tame!"  
"...you...tamed...a Grimm." Weiss stared at her. "...who are you, Port or something?"  
"Oh come on!" The catgirl complained. "He's not bad! Look!"

She pointed over at her Beowolf, who was rolling over, hanging its black tongue out and barking in a friendly manner at Zwei, who ran around it, barking happily.

Weiss just looked dumbfounded. "You...actually KEEP a Beowolf..."  
"Well, dad tamed it. With his bare hands. And a lot of meat." Blake explained. "I asked for him, anyway.

I'm taking him Kyubey hunting!"

Weiss facepalmed. "Oh, can this get ANY stupider?!"

Little did she know, it was going to get stupider.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So yes, Zwei is in Weiss Reacts now. Adam Taurus and James Ironwood will appear at some point, so don't think I've forgotten about them yet.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that start to the story, leave your reviews, ideas, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	2. Weiss Reacts to Beginnings, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Beginnings, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, thank you guys so much for all the support- it feels a bit weird writing a sequel to a story for once- and I have just got to say that I love you all!**

**Secondly- oh, wait, I forgot. Eh, I'm sure I'll remember it eventually. So, on with the love interest abduction-and-Incubator-hunting-fest that is the Reactsverse! Enjoy this slightly less crappy than usual chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Zwei would secretly have his own weapon to kill Grimm with (a knife, because Koromaru).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners (I would make an unfunny joke here, but too many franchises and I'm saving them for possible Reacts fics. And yes I'm looking at you Persona and Fire Emblem.)**

* * *

Slowly, the day passed by as Blake made her preparations to lead the annual Incubator Patrol- colloquially known as the Annual Kyubey Hunt- and darkened to sunset.

Students were filling out of the buildings on campus to head out to Vale to enjoy the nightlife, or to party around other people's dorms.

This, understandably, was a ripe hunting ground for Incubators, the devious little creatures they were, and so Blake had wisely calculated her starting the hunt at this time. And no, it was most definitely not because she had decided to take a nap after spending two hours playing Terraria and League of Legends, most certainly. Assuming so would be unmanly.

The catgirl sighed, lying in the cockpit of Neko-Lagann and waited for her fellow Kyubey-hunters; Nora, Ren, Minako, Yang, Ruby and, surprisingly, Cinder, who loved taking part in the Incubator Patrol- petting her pet Beowolf Cerberus. The Grimm nuzzled his bony head into Blake's hand, happily yapping.

"You're an adorable little Grimm." Blake cooed. "Who's my adorable little representation of shadow? You are, yes you are!"

Cerberus just barked happily, hanging his black tongue out.

Suddenly, Nora, clad in a full set of what looked to be golden armor, with a winged helmet and runic text engraved all over it, and Ren, dressed in a black longcoat, appeared nearby and Blake looked over at them.

"Ah! My fellow Incubator hunters!" The catgirl greeted them. "You guys know where everyone else is?"  
"Yang and Ruby were coming, last I saw, and Minako was right behind us." Ren stated, checking the load on his StormFlower and patting the pastry launcher on his back.

"And Nora, what's that armor for?"

Nora saluted her proudly. "I'm wearing this to honor my ancestors in Valhalla! I dedicate this hunt and the spoils to my grandmother! May she be treated well in Odin's halls!"  
Ren sighed. "She's been talking about that all day."

Blake pumped her fist triumphantly, proud to have at least one other person attempting to be manly. "FOR MANLY PURSUITS!"

Following them shortly were Minako, clad in what appeared to be a maid costume, Ruby and Yang- thankfully in their normal clothing-, tailed by Zwei, and Cinder, who appeared to be wearing a military uniform, on a deep red motorcycle of similar make and model to Yang's BumbleBee; the PumpkinBike, she called it, for it had a small stylized pumpkin sticker on the front.

Otherwise, said bike had nothing to do with pumpkins.

Ren chuckled at Minako, noting her dress. "Any reason why you decided wearing a maid costume was a good idea?"

"Eh." The brunette shrugged. "It's got pretty good defence. I mean, not my best piece of armor, but it's enough to take on a dirtbag like Kyubey."

"Riiiiiight." Ren nodded slowly, not comprehending why Minako had to wear a maid outfit- if she wanted to be a walking fanservice scene, surely there were better uniforms to wear?

Ruby and Yang hoisted their weapons and several nets to trap their prey. "Hey. Blake, hope you don't mind, but we brought Zwei around for the hunt."  
"Think he might smell him out." Yang explained. "Also, just to make sure he knows to sick him when he sees him."  
"Pipipipipi!"

"Huh?" Ruby looked to her left to see Vivi, dragging along a tiny saddle and riding crop.

"Oh. Hi, Vivi!"

"Pipipi!" Vivi waved at her.

Blake scratched her head. "Vivi? Why're you here? I thought you'd be with Velvet."  
Vivi sighed. "Pipipipi, pipipi pipipi pipi piiii pipiiii pi." explained the plushie clearly.

"Eh. Probably just trying to kidnap Weiss and fail again." Yang shrugged. "No threat, really. And sure, you can ride Zwei!"

"Pi!" Vivi smiled happily and slung her saddle on Zwei's back. The corgi lowered himself to allow Vivi to ride on his back, as Vivi took out her large mallet, which somehow didn't weigh them both down.

Cinder took out some sunglasses and popped them on, revving up her motorcycle.

"Well? Who's ready to go coobie hunting?"

"Oh, oh!" Nora raised her hand. "Me! Me!"

Blake slipped on her own triangle shades, before turning to her unmounted allies. "You guys got a ride?"

Yang took out her keys and clicked a small button on it. Within seconds, the BumbleBee drove to her side, ready for her to ride. The brawler climbed on to it, followed by Ruby.

"Woo! I get to ride on your bike!" Ruby cheered happily.

"Just don't touch this if I'm not anywhere near it, okay?" Yang cautioned her. "I'm not particularly fond of seeing my bike or my sister flat as a pancake."

Minako pulled out a foldable bike, while Nora shrugged. "Eh, Renny here doesn't trust me with any vehicles!" She pouted at her boyfriend.

"I'm a trickster, not a murderer. I don't think crashing into every pedestrian we see qualifies you as a trusted driver." Ren remarked.

Nora crossed her arms, pouting. "Hmph! Meanie."

Blake sighed. "Just climb in. You can have your passive-aggressive argument later."

Vivi raised her mallet in anticipation of the hunt. "Pipipipi!" She slapped Zwei on the side with a miniature riding crop and rode off ahead of the main hunting party. Cinder rode after her, followed by Minako on her bike.

Yang revved up her bike. "Well, Ruby, it's time to get hunting."

"Hm...I'm kinda suspicious." Ruby rubbed her chin, thinking. "Why's Vivi here instead of Velvet? You think Velvet's trying something stupid?"  
"Eh. It's probably nothing." The brawler responded. "Now quit worrying! I wanna go spear Kyubey already!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Weiss and Jaune sat alone in RWBY dorm. Their respective teams had left them for the night to go Kyubey hunting, and so with a lack of other things to do, the pair decided to sit together in RWBY dorm, watching DustTube videos and drinking hot chocolate.

"Mmmmm!" Jaune nodded with approval. "This hot cocoa's nice. You make it?"  
"Mhm." Weiss nodded, smiling proudly. "Special Schnee blend and my own recipe. Pretty tasty, huh?"  
The knight licked his lips, before thinking for a couple of moments. "Is that...cinnamon?"  
"Just a dash."  
"Huh." The knight laughed. "Never thought you were the kind to cook or make anything edible. Or drinkable."  
Weiss glared at him. "O-Of course I can cook, y-you idiot! I just...don't want to!"  
"We'll see about that soon enough..." Jaune sighed, chuckling.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean, you moron?"  
"Yang kinda told me you were a terrible cook."

The heiress clenched her fist. "That stupid idiot...and it was ONCE I gave everyone food poisoning! Once! If anything, she and NORA are untrustworthy with food! Giving me that stupid dream..." Weiss grumbled.

Meanwhile, just one floor up, Velvet and Pyrrha listened in to their discussion with a stethoscope, paying rapt attention.

"...you think Ruby, Yang and Blake are gone yet?" Pyrrha inquired.

"Positive." Velvet nodded. "They'll have long gone on patrol. Now, we'll move quickly and quietly, you got that?"

Pyrrha stood up, going over to the table where they'd placed their love interest capturing equipment: several burlap sacks, sleeping Dust, rope, and good old fashioned nets, as well as sorbet and plushie sharks to bait Weiss, and cupcakes and burgers for Jaune. She gave them one more check before nodding to her partner.

"We have everything we need."  
"Good." Velvet giggled crazily, rubbing her hands with glee.

"You'll see, Vivi! Tonight, I WILL have Weiss-sempai to myself! I'll win this time! No Yang to stop me, no Blake to get in my way, no pesky Ruby- tonight, Weiss-sempai will be all mine!"  
Pyrrha nodded. "A-And Jaune-kun will be all mine to cuddle..."

"Hm. Those fools are on Kyubey duty..." Velvet rubbed her chin. "Say, Pyrrha. Why doesn't Kyubey go after you? You seem like the kind of person he'd want to contract."  
"He tried...but then I tried to stab him with a spear and Nora tried to eat him, because he smells like pancakes, apparently." Pyrrha chuckled darkly.

"Ah." Velvet looked away. "I see."

The bunnygirl picked up one burlap sack, a phial of sleeping Dust- to use in case Weiss escaped their initial plan and some Weiss bait, before heading out. Pyrrha followed with her own kit and her Jaune bait, as the pair snuck down to RWBY dorm.

When they arrived at the door, Velvet immediately stuck to the wall adjacent to the door, quieting down her breath. Pyrrha followed her lead, learning from the master of love-interest abduction.

"Now, Pyrrha..." Velvet whispered. "Not a sound until we're right behind them. When we have them captured, THEN you may squee. I've learned this from years of trying to capture my Weiss-sempai..."  
"Yes, Velvet-sensei." Pyrrha noted obediently.

"On my count of three, you open the door." The bunnygirl commanded, to which the spearmaiden complied.

"One...two...three."

Pyrrha pushed the door slowly open, as Velvet looked in.

Inside, Weiss and Jaune were faced away from the door, watching DustTube videos and talking.

"There is NO way that sharks are inferior to lions!" Weiss complained. "Sharks are the most adorable and superior life form on this planet!"

"Lions have an awesome mane and are called the King of Beasts for a reason!"  
"Sharks are cuter!"  
"Lions!"  
"Sharks!"

Pyrrha and Velvet both quietly squeed, watching their love interests obsess over their respective favourite animals, before creeping up behind them.

"Do we do it?" Pyrrha whispered.

"NOW!" Velvet yelled.

Weiss and Jaune looked up, only having time to release a half-uttered 'What' before the burlap sacks descended upon them.

"Oh, for OUM'S sake! Not again!" Weiss complained as the sack was tied up over her head.

"Gah! What's going on?!" Jaune struggled in his sack.

Pyrrha and Velvet shared a hi-five, triumphant.

"We did it!" Velvet squeed, hugging her sack tightly. "Now, let's get back to the dorm we stole! Quickly!"  
"O-okay...a-and sorry, Jaune-kun!" Pyrrha quickly apologised, before running off behind Velvet.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside...

A white, cat-like creature with large, hand-like appendages emerging from the side of his head and an eternally smiling face prowled the area for potential contractors.

Kyubey was on the prowl again.

He was looking around for a potential contractor, someone to grant the wishes of and hook into becoming a magical girl, but his search was proving to be pointless.

In hindsight, trying to look for contractors in an academy where almost all the students had superpowers of their own and the staff were not only aware of his existence, but hostile to him, wasn't the best idea.

Eh. He had to press on anyway.

He tilted his head as he found one particularly lonely looking student- judging by her sad expression, probably a boy or a girl had rejected her.

Perfect situation for him to come in.

The incubator casually slinked along towards her, pausing briefly to look around for any sign of staff members or members of that accursed 'Incubator Patrol', or as they liked to call it, 'Kyubey Hunters'. Thankfully, he could see none.

He resolved to make the contract quickly nonetheless. He didn't want to risk the appearance of someone trying to immolate him or something.

Kyubey sidled up to the student, tilting his head.

"Hi!"

"H-huh?" The student looked down at him, confused.

"Would you like to make a wish?" The incubator tilted his head. He had almost hooked her in.  
"A-a wish?"

"Anything you'd like! Money, power, fame..." Kyubey explained in a rehearsed manner. "All you have to do is make a contract with me!"  
"A con-"

"THERE HE IS!"

Kyubey retained his smiling expression as he looked towards the source of that voice.

That accursed Faunus girl and her giant mechanical face robot found him. He'd tried to contract her once- that had gotten him stabbed in the face with a drill, much to his confusion. Why would anyone reject a free wish?

Nonetheless, she was a huge threat to him.

"HEY, GUYS! WE FOUND THE DIRTBAG! FIRST ONE TO GET HIM GETS FOOD ON ME!" Blake called, before a parade of bikes- and what appeared to be a living plushie on the back of a dog with a mallet almost three times her size- charged out from behind her and towards him.

"Oh, fiddlesticks." Kyubey shook his head and leaped away, running from the inevitable onslaught of very angry superpowered students and giant robots, as well as having to deal with the strange girl who had tried to eat him, chanting about pancakes all the way.

* * *

Weiss and Jaune were finally removed from their burlap sacks and quickly tied up with rope and disarmed via Pyrrha's Semblance.

Weiss sighed, glaring at the blushing Velvet. "Do you REALLY have to?"  
"O-of course, Weiss-sempai..." Velvet cooed. "T-then...y-you'll love me..."  
"Stupid pervert." Weiss grumbled.

"B-but of course!" Velvet stated proudly. "All hail the flat-chested heiress! ALL HAIL THE TSUNDERE HEIRESS AND HER FLAT CHEST!"

Before Weiss could do anything, Velvet was on top of her, rubbing her cheeks into her object of obsession, giggling insanely and happily.

"Flat chest~"  
"G-get off of me! S-stupid deviant pervert moron!" Weiss blushed furiously as she tried to wriggle out of Velvet's grip to no avail.

Pyrrha sat Jaune in front of a candle-lit table and sat in front of him, after setting the table with dinner- a nice spaghetti bolognaise with meatballs, of course- and giggling.

"Oh, Jaune-kun~ You'll finally pay attention to me and me alone~"

" Uh...Pyrrha, don't you think this might be a tad bit far?"  
"No~ I want you to love me~" Pyrrha cooed. "I want you to notice me for once~"  
"Er...I notice you plenty?" Jaune said, confused.

"You don't love me though!" Pyrrha pouted, crossing her arms and puffing out her cheeks.

"W-well, you always kidnap me and stuff! That's not how love works!"

Velvet looked at him as if he was stupid. "As if!

Kidnapping one's love is the way the Scarlatina family has done it for years! I plan on continuing the tradition with Weiss!"

"Fat chance." Weiss scoffed. "I bet those guys you captured are stupid perverts with a fetish for being captured like that or something.

And I'm with Ruby anyway, you pervert!"

"I-I can share you with Ruby! I get you ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, she gets you zero point one percent of the time!" Velvet protested. "A-after all...a bunny needs to be hugged...otherwise it will die..."  
"Oh, you just stole that from that stupid Yuki meme!"

Pyrrha pouted. "I just want you to notice me, J-Jaune-kun..."  
"It MIGHT help if you weren't about as big a yandere as Velvet..." Jaune sighed.

"Nonsense! I am only being loving! Velvet has taught me well!"

Weiss smacked her face into a pillow on the bed she was sat on, unable to facepalm.

"Oh, great. Velvet taught Pyrrha. Now we're all screwed."

* * *

Blake pointed Gambol Shroud at the escaping incubator, who leapt onto a wall to escape.

"CHAAAAAARGE!"

Nora climbed out of the Neko-Lagann, roaring.

"VALHALLA! I AM COMING!" She yelled, charging at Kyubey.

Yang rolled her eyes. "Really? You stole that line, Nora?"

"Weeeeee!" Minako pedalled past, charging at the incubator with Nora.

Kyubey muttered to himself as he tried to escape his pursuers.

"This place is even more troublesome than Inaba..."

"Pipipipipi!" "Arf!"

Kyubey stopped, his route across the wall interrupted by Vivi and Zwei. The corgi growled at him, displeased.

"Pipipipipipi! Pipipipipi...PIPIPIPI!" With that, Vivi smashed the mallet into Kyubey's side, taking him off the wall and back into the path of his pursuers.

Cerberus growled at him as Blake, Nora, Ren, Ruby, Yang, Cinder and Minako converged on him, brandishing their weapons.

"End of the line." Blake boasted. "Anywhere else you wanna go?"

Kyubey looked around for an escape route- any fate was better than being blown up for the umpteenth year in a row.

By this time, of course, he had developed what his people considered as a mental illness, emotion- in this case, the emotion being fear of being blown up, yet again, repeatedly. He had mulled on the impossibility of doing so and still didn't understand how it happened.

Looking around, he saw an open window on the third floor of the campus building.

'_Anywhere but here.'_

Kyubey sprung onto the wall, crawling up into the window.

Blake growled. "I'll get you! You can't hide forever!"

* * *

Pyrrha cooed quietly to Jaune, offering him a forkful of pasta. "Come on, Jaune-kun, you have to eat! It's delicious!"  
"Mind, err, untying me first? I'm kinda unable to bend over to eat anything..."

Weiss, meanwhile, grumbled as she was forced to listen to all of Velvet's plans for her.

"...and we'll have thirty children and live in a mansion and..." Velvet breathed in. "...oooooh, I have so many plans for us together! It's destined to be, Weiss-sempai!"  
"No, it isn't."

Velvet pouted. "But whyyyyyyyyy?! I'm adorable, like Ruby! I'm a bit stupid, like Ruby! I'm the ensemble darkhorse! I'm perfect!"  
"Ruby doesn't try to kidnap me on a regular basis and ISN'T OBSESSED WITH THE SIZE OF MY PERFECTLY ADEQUATE CHEST!"

Suddenly, Kyubey burst through the window, looking around...and honest-to-Oum _sighed _in exasperation_,_ realising that he had leaped from the frying pan and into the fire.

Velvet drew her massive chainsaw axe Grimmbane, giggling.  
"Oh, you~ You won't touch my precious Weiss-sempai! WEISS-SEMPAI IS MINE! YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!"

Pyrrha drew her own weapon and advanced with the bunnygirl upon the incubator, who backed up against the wall.

"...fiddlesticks."

"DIE NOW" Velvet hefted her axe, before the large hand of Gurren Lagann burst through the window and grabbed Velvet, Kyubey and Pyrrha.

Blake roared from inside it,laughing.

"I've got you now, Kyubey! Now, to SHOW you the power of the Spiral!"  
Velvet sighed. "Dammit, Vivi...why do you have to be right all the time?!"  
Pyrrha just sniffled, sad at losing yet another chance to have a 'date' with Jaune.

The giant mech then hurled the three into the air and batted them away with a drill into the sky, leaving nothing but a distant twinkle.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "How convenient. Sighing, she pulled herself out of her bindings and strolled out of the room, leaving Jaune still tied and bound. The boy struggled in his bindings, falling over in his chair.

"Uh...Weiss. You forgot me. Weiss! Weiss?!

...aaaaaah crap. Not again!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Welp, that's done.**

**Next chapter, Sun Ragekong! Woo! Yeah! Praise to Enerjack, the awesome writer who so graciously let me write about his story!  
**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your reviews, comments, ideas, thoughts, criticisms and suggestions and I hope you have a great day! Until next time!**


	3. Special Chapter: Sun Ragekong!

**Weiss Reacts to Sun Ragekong!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Sorry for the hiatus- I'm merely enjoying my half-term, revising for exams, playing League of Legends and Fire Emblem Awakening like mad and going on very interesting history trips- but I'm back and I'd like to make one announcement: in the near future, for you FE fans-yes this means you GN-sempai- there MAY be a Reactsverse fic set in FE. Pretty soon, actually.**

**Secondly...err...yeah, that FE fic announcement was it, really- that and there MAY be a little more FE shoutouts and a little less of a certain Arc sister who may end up being shunted off into the background now...**

**Enjoy your fic reaction, courtesy of the wonderful writer Enerjack and let's get this thing on the road! Also, sorry for not releasing this earlier, but I plan on releasing this AND the Halloween chapter this week- I got caught up in the above stuff.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Oobleck would secretly be behind both the White Fang AND Hunters.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Blake grumbled as she shut off the DustTube window displaying the RWBY episode where her canon self ended up arguing with Weiss about Faunus.

"...pfft." The catgirl scoffed, drinking her Blue Cow energy drink. "My canon self has superiority issues. If she really felt that way about Faunus, she'd realise that we're more adorable and badass than humans without trying.

No manliness whatsoever. Weiss, remind me to punch my canon self in the face."  
Weiss already had her face firmly planted in her palms. "I...don't even doubt you would LEGITIMATELY punch an alternate version of yourself in the face for being unmanly..."

Sun, who was in the dorm with them, yawned and stretched his arms. "So, uh...you guys got anything to do around here?"

Weiss looked over at him. "Why are you here again?"

"Neptune tried cooking and he...err...well, the mess he left was about as bad as that one time when Yang tried to make flambé and ended up covering the ceiling in soot."

The heiress rolled her eyes. "Figures."

"So, uh...what do you people do for fun around here, apart from watching that creepy show that has people who're clones of us?" Sun inquired casually.

"Watch Weiss get embarrassed and flustered over fanfiction." Blake said flatly, causing the heiress to glare at her.

"Shut up, Belladonna."  
"It's true."

"It's just as funny watching you get flustered over Yang being a pervert."  
"The difference is, Weiss, is that I can hide my shame, you can't hide your rage~"

Weiss grumbled and looked away. "Touché."

"Wow. You guys either have boring lives or Weiss' rage must be hilarious." The boy commented.

"See, there's a reason Yang likes trolling her so much-"

"Apart from her being a massive stupid idiot pervert who until recently was obsessed with getting me and her sister to do indecent things?"

"Said indecent things are natural for a couple." Blake commented, causing the heiress to blush.

"S-shut up! Y-you just have a dirty mind!"

Sun chuckled. "I can see why-"  
"You shut up too! Idiot!" Weiss sighed irritably. "As usual, everyone's against me. Screw it.

Blake, go boot up DustFiction or something. And by the way, where IS Ruby and her dunce of a sister?"  
"Oh, they went off to go shopping for Halloween costumes." Blake shrugged. "It's in two days."

"Oh. Joy. Halloween with Yang. I wonder what stupid thing she came up with THIS year." Weiss rolled her eyes.

_Meanwhile, at the Schnee Shopping Center in Vale..._

Yang held up two costumes- one being an incredibly skimpy catgirl costume, costume here being a more polite term for 'piece of cloth that barely covered one's chest or groin', and another a large penguin costume. She looked over to her sister, smirking.

"You like?"

"The catgirl costume needs to be skimpier!" Ruby pouted.

"You have a point." Yang giggled. "She'll love the skimpiness. And what about the penguin costume?"  
"It's..." Ruby sniffed. "Adorable..."

Yang smiled. "Yes, yes it is. And her face will be when she gets in _this _baby..." She nudged the catgirl costume.

_Back at RWBY dorm..._

"Sun Ragekong?" Weiss tilted her head. "...who's Michael?"  
Sun sneezed. "Huh? What?"

"He's that guy who does those hilarious video game raging videos." Blake chuckled. "He's fun."

"...remind me, Blake, since I don't watch this stuff...why is he relevant?"

"I think he's Sun's voice actor. I think. I dunno." The catgirl shrugged.

"Heh. If they got some DustTube guy to be my voice actor, I must be famous, huh?" Sun chuckled.

Blake looked over at him. "I'd say he's a _bit _more than a DustTuber...but eh, haven't got time to explain that crap. Let's read this!"

"I already have a bad feeling about this..." Weiss sighed.

Weiss scoffed. "How vulgar."

"...I don't swear that much!" Sun protested. "I'm perfectly polite!"  
"...and when did you get so flirty..." Blake gulped.

"So Sun here is a vulgar, uncouth pervert with a potty mouth. Excellent." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Just move on to the next chapter before I punch someone in the eye."

"Okay-" Blake did so, before reading the next chapter and blushing. "W-what..."  
"...I-I don't even..." Sun blushed with her, trying to banish the mental image of having his face planted into Blake's not-inconsiderable chest.

"And of COURSE Yang has to be a teasing pervert! As usual!" The heiress sighed. "S-stupid idiot!"

"That pun..." Blake cringed.

Weiss stared over at them. "What did you expect Yang to do, be mature for once?"

"Point taken." Sun sighed, clicking onto the 'next chapter' button and reading.

"...and I'm offended! I don't like bananas THAT much!"  
"Please." Blake scoffed. "You love bananas about as much as Ren loves maple syrup."

Outside, a commotion could be heard as Ren and Nora fought over a bottle of maple syrup- the latter's frantic yelling of 'PANCAKE' could be heard over the former's increasingly desperate insistence that he needed the bottle for himself.

"And how convenient, a demonstration."  
Sun glared at her. "Hey! It was ONE time!"  
"You nearly derailed a _train_ for that banana!"  
"I didn't mean to scare that crowd of horses! And it was a GOOD banana!"

Weiss glared at both of them. "What did you idiots do?!"

The boy sighed, rubbing his head and shaking it. "Don't ask. It's complicated. And VERY stupid."  
"I still say I told you so!" Blake crossed her arms. "Crazy bastard..."  
"It was ONE time, Blake. ONE!"

Weiss smacked the desk with her open palm, even more irritated. "I don't want to know what stupid antic you got up to, Sun! Just read the stupid fic!"

Sun looked over at her, sighing. "Okay, okay! Sheesh, Weiss, you always so angry?"  
"No! I'm just intolerant of idiocy!"

"And now you see my point, Sun?" Blake inquired cheekily.

"S-shut up, Blake! Only because of you and stupid pervert Yang do I get angry!"

* * *

"Oh, wonderful." Weiss grumbled. "Even MORE stupid pervert Yang antics. What kind of a deviant would suggest...whatever Yang did?!"

Blake and Sun shrugged, sharing a look. "We're not surprised. It's Yang."

"Tying him to a tree...and of course you'd AGREE to it, Blake. You're as much a pervert as she is..."  
"A girl has needs." Blake bluntly stated. "And you can't talk, little miss 'roll-around-naked-in-the-grass-with-Ruby' Schnee."

Weiss blushed, glaring at her. "That's a-a secret!"

Sun sighed, rubbing his temples. "I don't know how you live with her, Blake."  
"I'm only so angry BECAUSE of these perverts!" The heiress protested. "YOU try living with a stupid large-chested pervert and her manliness-obsessed partner!"

"Why is being large-chested a bad thing? Jealous?" Blake grinned.

"Y-you keep quiet! M-My chest is perfectly proportioned!"

The boy just shook his head and resumed reading the fic. "This fic's hilarious...but I don't swear nearly that much. And I still don't know who Michael is..." Sun sneezed, rubbing his nose.

"...and I don't think Blake has a nice...backside!"

"What did you say?!" Blake glared at him, an irritated expression. Sun shook his head, flailing his arms.

"N-no! I mean you have a NICE behind!"  
"...I'll take that compliment." The catgirl sighed. "I'm not a tsundere like miss Bossyboots over here, so I'll take it."  
Sun wiped his brow in relief. "Thank Dust. I thought you'd get mad about it. I don't like you in THAT way, but you really are pretty nice looking, you know."

"Pfft." Blake scoffed. "You're not half bad either."

"If you two are done flirting..." Weiss grumbled. "Do you mind continuing to read the fic?"  
"Okay, okay, calm down! Sheesh." Sun sighed. "Bellabooty's a terrible pun..."  
"...pervert. Why would you bemoan not sharing a room with Blake?" Weiss glared at him.

"Hey, hey! I didn't do that in real life, don't get mad at me!"  
"Pfft. I wouldn't mind sharing a room with him." Blake scoffed, causing the boy to blush profusely. "If he tried anything, though...I'd show him just why I'm the manliest person here."

Sun gulped nervously. "R-right..."

* * *

"This is why I hate my canon self." Blake sighed, donning her triangle shades. "Always running away and crap. Pfft.

Not manly enough, I say. I'm tempted to-"  
"Punch her in the face and make her grit her teeth, I know." Weiss rolled her eyes. "You always want to do that to your canon self."  
"Then make her stop being a coward then! Dammit Monty! That's not the way a REAL man fights! A REAL man..."

Sun flinched again as Blake proceeded on another rant about how real men never ran away from their problems and paved their way through the stars or something, before poking Weiss on the shoulder.

"Hey, Weiss."  
"Hm?"  
"What DID happen to the White Fang?"  
"Eh...they kinda disbanded after Cinder left and they got taken apart by that Faunus Rights Movement, and apparently they're trying to start a rock band now. It's not ideal." Weiss shrugged. "I don't know just how that'd work anyway..."

"Ah. The White Fang does sound like a good name for a rock band..." Sun mused.

"...and THAT's why Monty needs to give me more shirtless scenes!" Blake declared, causing Weiss and Sun's heads to shoot at her, eyes widened.

"What." The heiress uttered in disbelief. "...I've heard many stupid things from your mouth, but that was even stupider than usual."

Blake smirked at her knowingly. "Shirtless does not mean 'without underclothes'! And I thought you were less perverted than us!"

"Y-you never specified!" Weiss protested. "I-idiot!"

Sun sighed. Between the amount of embarrassment this fic was bringing him and the arguments between Weiss and Blake, his own anger was beginning to mount, but he managed to keep it bottled up.

'_Okay, Sun, you can do this. Just a couple more. Just finish this thing. Seven short chapters. Not long, right?_

_Can't be that long. You can do this. Don't succumb to your inner Michael, or whatever this thing says I am.'_

The boy took a deep breath and continued reading. He chuckled softly. "Ah, Blake, you troll...although..." He snuck a look at the girl's admittedly nice-looking backside.  
"...yeah, story me has a point there.

...and is he INSANE?! HE THREW A FISH AT HIM! Just...what?!"

"I heard that comment, Sun, and I'm telling you that if you expect me to stick to canon, you're going to have to try harder than that." Blake commented cheerily. "Besides, all the fans ship me with Yang and she's sufficiently manly."  
"I don't even..." Weiss sighed, turning to Sun with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please, take those shotgun-chucks of yours and shoot me. In the head. Now."

* * *

Blake grinned smugly, adjusting her shades. "About time I get my badass moment in a fic..." And just as quickly, her smug expression faded.

"...oh COME ON! Can I NOT be boring in a fic for once?!"

"Hey! I get to be awesome!" Sun cheered. "But I've GOT to stop cursing so much."

"Pfft. Roman wasn't so badass." Blake scoffed dismissively. "He cowered from my manliness! My MANLINESS!"

"Oh, will you SHUT UP?!" Weiss snapped. "If you haven't noticed, YOU'RE NOT A MAN."  
"Manliness is not something gender defines! You should know better!"

"You're obsessed with manliness!" Sun snapped. "Come on! Calm down!"

"You two don't understand a thing!" Blake grumbled irritably, before crossing her arms and pouting. "Not a thing..."

"Man..." Sun rubbed his temples. "I see why you get angry so easily."  
"Dealing with her for all of four years tends to get on one's nerves." Weiss stated calmly. "You're not alone. Now let's finish this stupid fic before I lose my own sanity. Or what's left of it."

"Yeah...my patience is kinda wearing too..." Sun sighed as he switched the chapter.

"Yeah! Finally! One that's not about me cursing up a storm!"

Weiss rubbed her chin. "I feel sorry for Neptune, though. That can't be helpful."

"Not at all. Wouldn't even put it past Yang to do that."

"She loves her antics too much..."The heiress grumbled. "Idiot...I bet you anything the NEXT chapter is about her stupid antics too!"

Sun moved onto the next chapter, sighing. "...well, what d'you know, that's the next chapter's subject!"

"See? Everyone in this damned archive agrees Yang's a stupid antic-obsessed pervert!" Weiss raised her hands in exasperation. "Every! Last! Author!"

"The damned ghost pepper challenge..." Sun shuddered. "I'm never taking one of those bets from Fox again..."

Blake laughed heartily. "Hah! A ghost pepper's nothing! You people lack manliness! Me and my father once had two cans of PURE capsaicin! Weaklings!"

"You're insane." Weiss stated. "Really, TWO cans?!"

"Pure, unadulterated capsaicin. Mom did not approve."

"How in..." Sun shook his head in exasperation. "I don't want to know, I know I don't. Just...please, let's get through this before I lose it..."

* * *

Blake pumped her fist proudly. "My manliness is too much for you to handle!"

"You're just being stupid." Weiss scoffed. "I don't think Sun appreciates your insanity." Her hand moved over to move to the next chapter, as they read the next two without incident.

After doing so, Blake shrugged. "Neptune's boring. He's not badass enough! And yeah, you do suck at card games, Sun."  
"Pfft. I don't ragequit like that, for Oum's sake... " The boy felt his own rage building. "I'm not the kinda guy who ragequits..."  
"Neither am I, unless these idiots get involved..." Weiss muttered. "At least Yang isn't here...then this would be unbearable..."

"I shudder to think what'd be like WITH her around right now..." Sun said, cringing slightly as he read the next chapter. "...man, my story self's such a pervert!"  
"You mean you're not?" Weiss shot at him. "You've made your own passes at Blake too, y'know."  
"Yeah, but come on! I don't do what he does! I'm not like that!"

"Not that I'd mind. I'm open." Blake stated nonchalantly, causing Sun to stare at her. "Wha-"  
"I mean, I'm not as much of a pervert as Yang is, but I've got needs too." Blake smirked. Weiss responded by slapping her on the back of the head.

The heiress rubbed her temples. "...what...just...I give up on you. Seriously, I give up."

"Come on, Blake, you've got to stop that!" Sun blushed. "Just...quit that! Yang's rubbing off on you..."  
"It's hilarious~" The catgirl chuckled. "And the last chapter...oh man...hah!"  
"What?" Sun looked at her curiously, before moving onto the next chapter and facepalming in irritation. "...come on! Just...what?! I look like such an idiot here! You're joking!"

Blake giggled. "Nope. You're just not as awesome as me!"

Sun felt something snap inside him, his frustration with the insanity of Blake having boiled over. He'd had enough.

This was it. He was going to lose it now.

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CRAP!" Sun banged his fist on the desk, shocking Weiss and Blake. "Just...SHUT UP YOU LIMPDICK! YOU HAVE A CONDITION! A STUPID CONDITION! YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT MENTION YOUR MANLINESS! OUM DAMMIT! JUST...SCREW YOU!" He stormed out, leaving behind a shocked pair of girls.

Yang casually walked in, clutching a bag of Halloween clothing, looking around to see her teammates' shocked expressions. "What happened?"

"...I made Sun live up to his legacy." Blake chuckled.

Weiss had her palm firmly on her face. "Blake was an idiot. Again."

The sounds of an irritated Sun echoed throughout the corridor, as Blake decided to leave her review.

* * *

From: **NightshadeNinjaCat of Giha**

Nicely done fic that lampshades Sun's VA. I even made the real Sun rage when reading it.

It was hilarious.

Blake B.

P.S. Not enough manliness from me. I am disappoint.

* * *

Weiss sighed, leaning back on her chair and looking over dismissively at Yang's bags. "And what are those for?"  
"Halloween!" Yang said cheerily. "Remember? It's in two days! And you're coming!"

"...oh dear Oum _no._" Weiss closed her eyes, dreading Halloween.

It was yet another vehicle for Yang to be perverted and do stupid antics under the pretense of 'holiday spirit', in her opinion.

_'Dear Oum, kill me now. Please.'_

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: And that ends that chapter! A HUGE shout out to Enerjack for letting me write about his awesome fic!**

**So next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Halloween! Now with more cosplay! Woo! Yeah! Stuff!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your ideas, thoughts, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	4. Weiss Reacts to Halloween!

**Weiss Reacts to Halloween!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Sorry about the lack of chapters this last couple of weeks- been absolutely banging out Fire Emblem Awakening- got it literally just last week and I love it- and enjoying my nice school break. Excellence!**

**My general laziness and procrastination abilities make it understandably hard to come up with ideas. Sorry...**

**But enough about that, let's get this chapter on the road! Happy Halloween to you all!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Zwei would be behind every single twist in the series.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss crossed her arms, dreading the incoming antics. "I still can't believe you idiots are doing this." She sighed at Ruby and Yang, sitting casually in her dorm on her bed.

Yang was clad in what seemed to be the skimpiest witch costume ever, complete with tiny witch hat and broom. Indeed, it resembled more of a bikini than a witch's robe, exposing her midriff, quite a bit of her skin and showing a lot of her massive chest.

Weiss contemplated briefly whether or not such a costume should be really considered underwear before realising, as always, Yang didn't care.

Ruby, in comparison, wore a far more innocent costume, with a large penguin costume replete with adorable beak and blush stickers. She pouted at Weiss, blushing.

"D-do I look...adorable?"  
Weiss gritted her teeth, grumbling. Of course her girlfriend _had_ to pick the most adorable costume ever, as if the heiress didn't already have all the reason in the world to pick her up and hug her as tightly as a vice.

"M-must you do this to me, Ruby?"  
"Huh?" Ruby tilted her head adorably, causing Weiss to simultaneously mentally squee and slap herself.

"Stop being so adorable, y-you idiot..."  
"Awwww..." Ruby smiled, strolling over to kiss her on the cheek. "Don't worry, I'm saving all my adorableness for you~

Which reminds me, why don't you want to go with us for trick-or-treating?"

Weiss rolled her eyes in contempt. "One, it's immature. Two, I'd be stuck with Yang all night and Dust knows what she'll get up to! She's already DRESSED like a stupid pervert!"

"If you've got it, flaunt it~" Yang winked mischievously at her. "I'm only showing off what I'm born with, Miss Ironing Board-"  
"My chest is ADEQUATE! ADEQUATE, I SAY!"

"And if you think THIS costume's skimpy, you should see what I gave Tohru~"

"Oh, dear Oum, _no_..." Weiss facepalmed. "...must you drag her into your idiotic shenanigans?"  
"Just because I fangirl over her doesn't mean she's safe from my antics. Just like how Elf fanboys over you and makes you a target for antics!"  
"I told you, Yang, I don't get your stupid fourth wall references or whatever you call them!" The heiress stated irritably for the umpteenth time. "And I also do NOT want to know what you probably forcibly shoved onto poor Miss Honda..."

_Meanwhile, in Cinder's office..._

"N-no!" Tohru's voice could be heard from the closet, audibly shaking and trembling. "T-this...t-this costume is too indecent!"

"It's cute." Cinder chuckled, herself in a blue Cinderella cosplay- being, well, Cinder Fall, she needed no skimpy outfit to exude her aura of attractiveness.

"I-I have a boyfriend! I d-don't think he'd be very appreciative of me d-dressing...l-like this..."

"So you've been shoved into a skimpy, perverted costume by Yang Xiao Long and currently hiding in a closet out of shame" Cinder shrugged. "Welcome to Beacon, Tohru."

"...K-Kyo won't like this...at all..." Slowly, the girl pulled herself out of the closet.

She was clad in an extremely skimpy catgirl costume, replete with whiskers, brown cat ears, and an immense blush on her face as she felt the cold air on her exposed skin.

Right now, she envied Roman- the man had the luck of disappearing out right before Cinder showed up with that blasted costume.

Cinder whistled appreciatively. "Espresso was right. Your chest IS surprisingly big. How do you hide those things under your sweater?"  
"Q-quiet!" She snapped uncharacteristically loudly, shaking her head in shame. "T-this is so embarrassing..."

"Well, you always said you loved cats, so we got you a catgirl costume." The pyromancer chuckled.

"D-don't you have anything ELSE for me to wear?!"

Cinder rubbed her chin. "Well...Glynda, being a boring old hag like she always is, bought a riceball costume for you-"  
"I'll take that! Anything but this! Please!" Tohru pleaded.

"Okaaaaay~" Cinder chuckled.

_Back with Team RWBY..._

Blake strolled out of the bathroom, dressed as a biker with triangle shades sighing at Yang.

"Really, Yang? Really?"  
"Oh come on, Blake. We told you, I wanted to get as many people dressed skimpily as possible!" Yang protested. "It's FUN!"  
"It's perverted." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Stupid idiot. And Blake, she even got that Tohru woman into her stupid scheme!"  
"Oh dear Dust." Blake facepalmed, before looking over at her perverted partner. "Yang, I love you like a sister. And maybe a little more than that. But really, there's a LIMIT to being a pervert!"  
"Nonsense! All is fair in antics, love and war!" Yang cheered proudly.

Ruby shrugged, holding up a pumpkin bucket and giggling. "Now we'll go trick-or-treating!"  
"Oh come on, Rubes!" Yang protested. "That's boring! Besides, me and everyone else made plans to hit every club in Beacon tonight!"

"Dressed like that? Count me out." Weiss crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "I told you this two days ago. I want nothing to do with your stupid shenanigans!"

"Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud! You're boring!" The brawler pouted. "I just want everyone to have fun tonight! It's Halloween, for Oum's sake!"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "I refuse to go anywhere with you while you're dressed like something out of an indecent manga!"

Yang stuck her tongue out at her mischievously. "You'll just have to live with it~"

The heiress sighed, grabbing herself a blue Schnee-brand coat. "Fine. But don't get me involved in some stupid antic! I refuse to get involved with dirty thoughts and perverted antics!"

Yang shrugged casually. "You've been in our dorm for two years now, I think you know how it goes around here~"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Unfortunately."

* * *

Shortly, team RWBY walked downstairs to meet with their friends. Throughout Beacon, as they walked past, the place was alive with Halloween spirit- hanging Grimm masks, skeletons, people in weird costumes. Even Glynda was getting into the spirit, donning a wizard hat and a stylized wizard staff, guiding a group of young Signal students around Beacon with Ozpin, who was apparently cosplaying as a dog youkai samurai, from what Weiss could see.

Eventually, the team made it over to the courtyard, where their friends were waiting.

Team CFVY were over in the corner, huddled around Fox's tablet. Coco-thankfully in her Coco personality- was cheering happily.

"Woo! I get to be in the show! And they got my minigun right!"

"Aw, man." Fox frowned. "I don't get any lines! How come YOU do, Coco?"

"This is all wrong..." Velvet muttered frantically. "Where's my axe?! Where's my love for Weiss-sempai?! Monty-sama, why do you do this to me?! WHY?!" The bunnygirl sobbed, with Vivi patting her on the head, comforting her.

Yatsuhashi merely made an approving sound. "Excellent job."

Opposite them sat Pyrrha and Ren; the former smiling very widely and dressed as a pirate, complete with eyepatch and tailor-made tri-cornered hat, and Ren, dressed as a ninja.

Ruby nodded over at Pyrrha. "Hey, what happened? Jaune ask you out or something?"  
Pyrrha giggled, shaking her head. "Even better."

Weiss shook her head. "I don't want to know what that means-"

"H-hey! Nora! G-get off of me!"  
"No way, Jaune! I have a bet to win!"

The heiress facepalmed. "I knew it. It's something stupid, isn't it?"

From around the corner, Nora dragged a very reluctant Jaune, clad in a maid costume, who was clutching a feather duster and a handheld vacuum. Pyrrha blushed and giggled.

"You look s-stunning...J-Jaune-kun..."  
"Dammit, Nora!" Jaune complained. "What kind of stupid bet is this anyway?!"  
"Cinder bet me she could get someone to wear the most embarrassing costume ever! I HAD to win the bet!"  
Ren shrugged. "Girl needs her pancake money."

"Oh come on, Jaune." Yang reassured him. "You look nice as a girl!"

"You guys have GOT to stop dressing me like one!" The knight grumbled. "Come on! Don't you people have anyone else to-"

"Surprise!" Cinder strolled out, dragging Tohru with her. The unfortunate victim was dressed in what could only be described as rice paper wrapped around her with papier-mâché rice balls plopped on her head. At this point, even Yang groaned, partially out of sympathy for her, but also because even _she _had a limit to how much fanservice she wanted.

"T-this wasn't a r-riceball costume..."  
"Of course it is!" Cinder giggled. "I just...lost the riceball part!"

Nora pouted and passed over fifty Lien to her teacher. "...dammit. No pancakes for me..."

"Never bet against the house!" Cinder proudly declared.

Tohru blushed and looked around, feeling exposed. "C-can I ...g-get out of this thing now..."  
"No, your embarrassment is too adorable~"

Weiss crossed her arms. "You idiots. Let's just go before something even stupider happens! Next thing you know, everyone's clothes are going to fall off because Yang secretly rigged them!"  
"That gives me a-"  
"NO, YANG, THAT WAS NOT PERMISSION TO DO THAT!"

Cinder grinned. "I'm tagging along, by the way~"

"Oh, dear Dust no. Can we have a RESPONSIBLE adult?" Weiss complained.

"Ugh. Fine." Roman walked onto the scene, dressed as the Penguin, replete with fake nose and monocle. "Since leaving you kids with Cinder might get you all locked up in a jail, I suppose I'll tag along."

Cinder and Yang pouted at him and cried "You're boring!" in unison. Weiss sighed in relief.

"Thank Dust, someone who isn't insane."

"Trust me, kid." Roman tipped his hat towards her, shaking his head. "I'm already insane for associating with this crazy woman."

Cinder frowned. "I'm not crazy! I'm just ahead of the-"  
"I've heard that too many times to take that seriously." Roman interrupted her, twirling his cane.

Nora cheered. "Yay! Trick-or-treating! I call all the pancakes!"

"Uh, Nora..." Ren patted her calmly on the back. "I don't think they give pancakes out on Halloween..."  
"Well, they should! Pancakes are the best sweets!" Nora protested. "PANCAKE SUPREMACY!"

"Wait, where's your costume?" Ruby tilted her head, tweaking her bird beak.

"For Halloween, I'm going as myself!"

Weiss blinked in disbelief. "...I wasn't sure if you could get even more stupid, Nora, but you just did. How in Dust is THAT supposed to work?!"

Blake shrugged, brushing some of her hair out of her eyes. "Well, Nora cosplays are pretty common."  
"Yeah! I'm in my Nora cosplay!" Nora cheered proudly.

Ren chuckled. "Yes, Nora. Yes you are."

Weiss looked around, realising that the only sane people present were Jaune and Roman. She hung her head in despair.

"Oh, this is going to be a _long_ night..."

Cinder giggled. "I'm going to enjoy this night too! As is Tohru! Right?" She reached along to grab her poor victim, before realising she'd managed to scamper off without her noticing. She pouted.

"Oh, you're boring."

* * *

The gaggle of teens made it over to the Schnee Shopping Center, which was itself plastered with all the typical Halloween trademarks. People in all sorts of costumes and outfits were milling around, from people dressed as Grimm, clad in black and bone-white masks, to cosplayers of all kinds- one could see a cosplay group of all the RED and BLU teams of Team Fortress 2.

Nora laughed, resting her hands behind her head and taking the atmosphere. "We haven't been around here a long time! I miss the pancakes here!"

"You mean you haven't been here for three days and you already miss all the pancakes?" Ren looked at her.

"Of course! I love your pancakes, but sometimes I need different pancakes, you know?"

Weiss looked around, nodding. "And now I look like an idiot, with no costume."  
"You're just going as yourself!" Nora reassured her. "Come on!"

Yang whipped out a black helmet with a purple circle in front and three points, one on each side and on top, and a black cape and pair of clothes. "You can still change into these!" She smirked.

"I am NOT dressing like some pretentious idiot! What are those, some prince's clothes or something?"  
"Oh, you don't know..." The blonde brawler giggled.

Blake surveyed the center, looking around to see what shops and restaurants were open. "We got to check the good places out before everyone takes up the nice places!"

"And before Nora does something stupid." Roman fixed his monocle and twirled his cane stylishly, pointing at Nora, who was already conversing with an unfortunate blue-haired girl with a blue leotard and a white flower in her hair.

"Oh hi! Are you new to Vale? You look like Rei!" Nora gasped in surprise, flailing. "Are you doing a Rei cosplay?!"

"Woof." The girl raised her hand to resemble a paw, tweaking it and seemingly greeting her with it. "Yes, I am new here... and what is...a Rei cosplay?"  
Jaune grabbed his teammate's shoulder from behind. "Heheh! Nora! I don't think she's cosplaying! Please, don't do this..."

Blake looked over to see who Nora was greeting, before nearly falling over in shock. "Whoa, wha-"  
"Oooh! Guys! Guys! Nice food place! Let's go! Now!" Ruby grabbed Weiss with her flipper and dragged her away, ignoring her girlfriend's protests.

Yang looked over in surprise. "Hey, wait for me!"

"D-don't leave us!" Jaune moved to run towards them, before turning to the girl, chuckling nervously.

"Heheh...sorry about this. My teammate just doesn't understand some things."

"Woof." The girl repeated her gesture. "It's fine."

Nora squeed at her, giggling. "She's so adorable! Can I take her home?!"  
"We told you, just like we did with Yang's mom, YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE PEOPLE HOME IF YOU FIND THEM ADORABLE!"

"You're boring!" The girl pouted. "But fine. I'm cribbing that greeting, though!"

Meanwhile, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang stopped at the front of the restaurant to find a large queue in front of it. Blake frowned.

"Dammit, how do we get in there? This place looks packed!" Yang complained.

Roman rubbed his chin, continuing to twirl his cane. "You sure you guys don't have any place in mind that's not this?"  
Cinder looked thoughtfully at the long queue, her index finger placed just on her chin, with a sly smile on her face. "I can think of a couple of good ways..."  
"You're not going to do something stupid, Fall." Roman glared at her.

"Oh, getting assertive, are we? Don't forget, Roman, I've got SO much dirt on you~"  
"Cinder, there's KIDS here!"  
"I think they can handle it~"

Weiss facepalmed. "Our teachers are such idiots..."

Yang looked around, pointing over at the Schnee Steak Emporium. "We could eat there! It's less crowded, I suppose..."

Blake nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, Ruby."

Ruby pouted in disappointment, but sighed. "Fine, we'll eat there."

"We'll go as soon as Nora stops kidnapping people." Ren thumbed towards his partner, who was attempting to drag a brown haired girl with two hairs sticking up, resembling a cockroach's antenna, away, as a blue haired boy was trying to keep her from being dragged away.

"ADORABLE PERSON! LOVE ME!"

"Dammit, Nora." Ren sighed and headed over with Pyrrha and Jaune to pull her away.

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

The group had finished their dinner without incident- Nora had to be restrained to stop dragging people she thought were adorable away- and were currently hitting the main attraction of the night- the center of the Schnee Shopping Center. Most of the shops around it were handing out candy for free, from the Schnee-brand shops to that weird Junes shop over in the corner, and there was a fairly large mini-theme park set up in center square, with several horror-themed rides, including a carousel and a maze.

Cinder chuckled, looking around and waiting for Ruby and Weiss to catch up with them. Ruby was goggling at her bucket, which was stuffed full of candy from the shop employees, and hugging Weiss tightly to her.

"She's my good luck charm~ I don't usually get so much!"  
"You're dressed like an adorable penguin." Weiss scoffed. "They acknowledge the superiority of the penguin to all other creatures! Save the shark, of course."

Yang sighed, coming back empty-handed. "That's not even fair! How come they give you candy?!"  
"You may act immature, but you certainly don't look immature." Weiss grumbled. "Seriously, who's going to mistake you for a child in THAT costume?!"

"I would." Roman remarked.

Nora giggled, raising a bucket full of flapjacks and one bottle of syrup. "All my candy is pancakes!"  
Pyrrha tilted her head. "How did you get ALL pancakes?"  
"I've got my pancake charm my mom gave me!" She held up a small, golden pancake, wrapped around her neck with a golden chain. "She always told me it'd attract pancakes, syrup, and kaiju!"

"Sometimes, I don't know who's weirder, the Arc family, the Belladonnas, the Xiao Longs or the Valkyries." Weiss muttered. "I think the only NORMAL families here are mine and Pyrrha's..."

Roman looked around, pointing at the ticket stall. "Right, kiddos. We should probably head back to Beacon in two hours, so you've got two hours to do whatever."  
"Me and Roman'll be at the fortune telling stall!" Cinder giggled, before grabbing her partner's hand.

"Hey, I didn't agree to this!"

"You did now!"  
"G-get off of me!"

Ren sighed as they stomped over to the ticket stall, before turning to his friends.

"Right, guys. Where do you want to go?"  
"I wanna check out the scary maze!" Ruby chirped. "It sounds awesome!"  
"I'll go with Ruby, if only to make sure she doesn't accidentally do something stupid." Weiss stated calmly.

Yang and Blake shared a look, nodding. "We'll go with 'em."

"I wanna go on the carousel!" Nora cheered gleefully. "It looks glittery!"  
"Eh. Why not, I'll go with Ruby and Weiss." Jaune shrugged. "I got nothing much else to do anyway..."  
"I-I'm going with Jaune-kun!" Pyrrha volunteered, but Ren shook his head.

"No. You're helping me. Nora's too hopped up on pancakes for me to stop her dragging some unfortunate passerby home with her, and as hilarious as that is, I'd prefer to keep going to this mall to buy things, kay?"

Pyrrha pouted. "B-but Jaune-kun..."

"It's settled!" Yang cheered. "We're going to the maze first!"

"Yaaaay!" Ruby ran over to the maze- which had screams, both fake and real, emanating from it-which had a fairly short queue, lining up with her team and Jaune. She giggled in anticipation.

"This looks like it's gonna be fun! Right, Weiss?"  
"Sounds like it's a bunch of cheap scares." The heiress rolled her eyes.

"I heard it's pretty scary, actually." Blake chimed in, fixing her triangle shades. "Apparently it's sent about twenty people packing or something."  
"Pfft. They're probably easily scared." The heiress scoffed. "That's nothing to someone like me."

"Errr...I'd prefer not to be scared, thanks-" Jaune stated hurriedly and began to walk off, but Yang grabbed him and sat him next to Ruby.

"Nuh-uh, Jauney-boy, you stay RIGHT here!"  
"But-"  
"My sis and her girlfriend need a big strong knight to protect them~"

"S-shut up." Weiss glared at her. "Quit being so moronic."

"Oh, we're up!" The reaper noted, holding Weiss' hand and pointing at the opened door held open by a staff member in a bloody hockey mask. "Come on, let's go in!"  
"Uh...okay..." The heiress nodded, looking at Jaune. "Well, come in then!"  
He gulped, looking around at Yang and Blake. "Yeah...okay..."

Yang nodded, crossing her arms and smiling. "Yep! See you!"

"Wait, what?!" Weiss whirled around hurriedly to see Yang and Blake run off just as the door shut. She grumbled, clenching her other hand. "Typical. I bet you they bribed the staff to make this maze hell for us..."  
"Oh, come on!" Ruby reassured her, smiling. "They wouldn't do that! They didn't have time to do that!"

Jaune trembled, surveying his surrounding- bloodied walls, lined with rusty, sharp implements, surgical or otherwise, and with what looked to be a bloodied head, nailed to the wall by the skin on its neck.

He gulped nervously. "Heh...yeah..."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Ren had his hands in the pockets of the greatcoat he 'd chosen to wear as a pirate, making sure Nora wasn't about to rush off, before Yang and Blake rushed over to them, laughing.

"Yang, you're SUCH a jerk...but that was hilarious!"  
"Did you see Jaune's face?" Yang giggled, before Ren interjected by clearing his throat.

"Erm. What are you two talking about?"  
"We just ditched Jaune, Ruby and Weiss in the maze. I'll bet you Weiss'll be scared silly by the time she gets out~" Blake chortled.

Ren clapped. "Excellent job."  
"If I do say so myself~" The brawler bowed with a magnificent flourish of her hand.

"I call the weird skeleton pony!" Nora raised her finger as the last group of people left the ride. The girl rushed over to her chosen steed. Ren sighed and rode next to her, keeping an eye on her.

"Yeah. Sure. Hey, Pyrrha, get over here." Ren looked over to where he thought his teammate was, before realising she was gone.

"Pyrrha?" The gunslinger looked around, before realising that she had snuck over to the maze, sneaking in through a staff door.

"Oh. This is going to be hilarious..."

_Over in the maze..._

"Okay, guys, just hold on to each other's shoulders and you should be fine." Ruby reassured her friends. Weiss calmly placed her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, and Jaune placed his on Weiss'.

Ruby slowly lead the way through the maze, and the scares were nothing- just the typical people jumping out at you, blinking lights and so on.

Weiss scoffed. "This, scary? I think not."

Ruby giggled. "Yeah. It's not as bad as they said it was! I think she was exaggerating to make you even more scared..."  
Jaune laughed nervously. "Yeah...sure...although it's kinda creepy in here..."

"Of course, you dolt! It's a horror maze!" Weiss snapped, before a sudden wind blew into their faces from the sides, making them jump.

"Whoa!" Ruby shook her head, fixing the fake beak she was wearing. "That was...sudden."

Weiss brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Hmph. How uncouth. That was cheap. Right, Jaune?"

Nobody responded. Weiss made a questioning sound. "Hm?"  
She whirled around to see nobody. "What...Jaune?! You dolt, where are you?"  
"He probably ran on ahead. Come on, let's meet him outside!" Ruby gestured for her to follow, as Weiss sighed.

"Fine...that dolt can get lost in the maze for all I care..." The heiress shook her head before following, ignoring the muffled cries for help and the delighted cries of 'Jaune-kun!' behind her.

"Dust...that dunce is so fast..." Weiss panted, keeping Ruby in her sights as best as she could. "Slow down, will you? Dunce..." The heiress shook her head and began to run towards her, before tripping.

"Oof! Dust..." She rubbed her forehead, pulling herself up. "Where...oh, Dust, I LOST her. Perfect!"

She sighed, trailing her hand across the left hand side of the wall. "Just follow the left hand side, so I'm told...I swear, I am going to beat some sense into those two..."

Weiss looked around at the red-lit surroundings. The fake blood ran down the walls, the lights blinked on and off, and the low, droning noise throughout the maze seemed to unnerve her slightly.

"Hmph. I-I'm not scared of this. It's a little weird..." Weiss muttered to herself, before she felt something brush past her shoulder. She whirled around, but she found nothing.

"W-what was that? No...that was nothing. Hmph. Schnee, quit getting so scared! It's just nothing! Nothing!" The heiress grumbled, facepalming. "I am a fool for getting scared so-"  
"Woof."

"AH! DUST HELP ME!" Weiss jumped and ran as far as she could at the sound, completely missing the blue-haired girl from earlier, her hand raised as a paw again.

She frowned as she saw the heiress flee. "Why did she run away? Was my greeting incorrect this time?"

Weiss, meanwhile, fled to the exit, running straight into Ruby, screaming.

"Ah! Weiss!"  
"Ruby!" The heiress hugged her tightly, before glaring at her. "Y-you idiot! You left me in the maze! I swear, if you do that again, I'm going to kill you!"  
"I miss you too." Ruby sighed, hugging her back. "You get scared too easy. What happened in there?"

"Just...don't ask. Please." Weiss sighed in shame. "I don't want to talk about it either."

"DAMMIT NORA THAT'S NOT A REAL PANCAKE!" Ren yelled nearby, as the pair looked up to see Nora scaling the Pancake World stall and biting on the pancake tightly.

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "Oh, of course. Well then..."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Cinder was sitting down at a nearby cafe, sipping on a coffee. She smirked at Roman, who was heavily blushing.

"So, you think about the fortune we got together~?"  
"S-shush. Don't say a word."  
"Awww...so you really do love me~"

"I said shush." Roman grumbled, sighing. "I'm never doing that stupid thing again."

Just then, Pyrrha skipped happily past, carrying a passed out Jaune, a happy expression on her face.

Roman facepalmed. "Crazy kids these days..."  
"Lovebirds~" Cinder clapped.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Whew! That was a long chapter! Okay! Well! A cookie to anyone who isn't Half-Blind Otaku who figures out who the characters are who cameo'd, since I know he knows. :P**

**Next chapter will be the long awaited camping trip! Or the first part of it! Woo! Yeah! Also, keep an eye out, Fire Emblem fans, _Lucina Reacts _(yes, this will be a thing) may be coming in the near future!**

**So, I hope you guys enjoyed that, leave your reviews, comments, ideas, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	5. Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! And dear gods, FE fans, do I have a gift for you today! **_**Lucina Reacts**_** debuted earlier today and I...do not recommend reading it. If you want to horribly destroy your minds by doing so, then read it, but otherwise...yep...**

**On the Weiss Reacts side, this is it! The camping trip! Insanity ensues! Woo! Yeah! Stuff! Well...here it goes...the horribly mind-screwy insanity is going to happen now.**

**I'm so sorry.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Zwei would secretly be sentient and talking.**

**All franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Do you have everything packed, Weiss?" Ruby called over from her bunk.

"You don't need to shout so loudly! I'm right next to you, you dunce!" Weiss grumbled, shoving several pairs of the same clothes into her Schnee-brand suitcase. "What are you packing anyway?"  
"Oh, you know..." Ruby giggled. "The essentials...clothes, kit, cookies, games, cookies, my scythe, cookies..." She raised Zwei in the air. "And Zwei!"  
"Are you...seriously considering packing him into the suitcase?!" Weiss said, exasperated.

Ruby nodded happily. "Yep! I can't just leave him here!"

"Pfft." Blake chuckled, lifting up her whimpering Beowolf Cerberus into her tiny bag. "I can't leave this guy behind! He's too wimpy!"  
"A Grimm, wimpy?" Yang looked over at her. "How so?"  
"He's scared of loud noises, bright lights and strong smells. He's like Scooby Doo! Only more monstrous! And manly! Relatively, of course- he's still a stupid wimp. But he's my stupid wimp." Blake pumped her fist to her chest proudly.

"Arf, arf!" Zwei poked his head up from the pile of cookies, clothes and games.

"Even Zwei's calling him a wimp..." Ruby chuckled. "Heh."

Blake nodded. "At least Zwei's got his ideas straight."

Yang shrugged. "Say, Blake, where were you this morning? You kinda disappeared off at five in the morning!"  
"I was busy running a last test on the Lagann's Perceptual Teleportation system." The catgirl chuckled.

"Oh. Okay. I was wondering, because I had a book on my nightstand last night, and I don't know where it might have gone..." Yang rubbed the back of her head.

Blake's eyes widened a fraction, before she shook her head. " Y-yeah, sure. Hope you find it."

"I hope you don't plan on bringing that damned thing to camp too." Weiss stared at it.

"Sadly, Glynda made me promise not to." Blake clenched her fists, sighing. "I wanted to, but she didn't want any stupid antics to happen on the trip. Hmph."

Yang winked. "Challenge accepted."

The heiress facepalmed. "Oh dear Oum, Yang. _No._ Can we have ONE day without stupid antics?!"

"No~ Antics are what I live on, after all~"

Weiss looked over to her girlfriend. "Ruby, kill me now."

"Oh come on! This'll be fun!"

"Doesn't look like it." Blake smirked. "I mean...what with last night's maze scaring the living hell out of her! I mean, seriously, Lan only said hi!"  
"I-I wasn't scared of whoever that girl was!" Weiss clenched her fists and blushed. "Q-quit being stupid!"

Yang giggled, before clearing her throat and putting her hand up to imitate a dog's paw. "Oh, 'Woof'." She then increased the pitch of her voice, attempting to imitate Weiss.

"Oh Dust! Ruby, save me! Save me from the horrible monster! The horrible, cute, Rei Ayanami-lookalike monster who sounds like a happier Yuki!" Yang giggled, dodging Weiss' slaps.

"S-shut up! Idiot! And quit making your stupid jokes! I don't know who you're even talking about!"

"If you don't get those jokes, you don't watch enough animes. Besides, her VA's everywhere!" Yang stated.

The dorm's door opened to admit Aspasia Arc, who tilted her head at the team.

"Oh, hey! Big bro's looking for you guys! He says Glynda's about to tell the driver to leave without you guys..."

"What! Dammit!" Weiss zipped her bag shut. "Aspasia, run down there and tell them we're on our way!"

Ruby nodded hurriedly. "Y-yeah, tell her we'll be right down!" She shoved Zwei's head down into the luggage and zipped up the bag. "Sorry, Zwei! I left a can of dog food in there! It's under the cookies!"

Blake and Yang crammed their stuff in their bags and slung them on their backs. "We're ready!"

Cerberus whimpered from inside Blake's bag. Aspasia giggled.

"Did you bring your dog? He sounds adorable~"

"You could say he's adorable." The catgirl winked.

"Oh dear lord, I can smell the antics already." Weiss sighed. "I've already written this trip off."

Ruby smiled, patting her on the back. "Come on, it won't be that bad!"  
"I bet you, come tonight, you won't be so optimistic." The heiress remarked.

Yang giggled. "Oh, come on. I'm not that bad!"

"Need I list the COUNTLESS times you've done something stupid?"

"I want the chronological list of antics!" Yang giggled.

"Just..." Weiss exhaled loudly, already exasperated. "...just go before I utterly snap."

Ruby chuckled nervously, stepping between Weiss and Yang. "Oookay, Weiss, don't smack her around JUST yet!"

"...s-stupid idiot..." Weiss harrumphed and blushed, looking away.

Yang smirked. "She loves me too much~"  
"S-shut up!"  
"We're not replicating Lagrange, Weiss." Blake remarked.

"I DON'T GET THAT JOKE, YOU DUNCE!"

"Heheheh..." Aspasia laughed nervously, before slinking out of the door, shaking her head.

"I don't know how big bro makes friends with them...I feel for him, though. All the girls he associates with are weirdos." She shrugged.

"Even that nice Pyrrha girl's a yandere..."

"Huh?" Pyrrha appeared from the ceiling, hanging upside down. "You were saying?"  
Aspasia squeaked in surprise. "N-nothing! D-don't worry about it!"

"Good." Pyrrha smiled sweetly at her. "Jaune is mine. MINE! MINE!

And you stay away from him, you siscon." The spearmaiden climbed up the vents, as Aspasia clenched her fists, growling.

"I AM NOT A SISCON! I just like acting like an adorable little sister because I LOOK like one!

...I hate being tiny. People think I'm one of those weird _imouto_ genre sisters with brother fetishes..." Aspasia rolled her eyes and rushed off to the bus.

* * *

Team RWBY arrived at the front of the school, where Glynda, Cinder, Ozpin and Beth Lupin were waiting in front of the bus. Glynda calmly tapped her scroll with her stylus as Ruby's group finally arrived.

"Team RWBY. You're late."

"Allow me, Miss Belladonna." Norn, Blake's Persocom, grabbed the team's luggage and hauled it onto the bus with one hand. "Tea?"  
"No thanks." Blake shook her head. "Are you coming?"  
"As part of Team SONA, although I will be at your behest should you need me." Norn calmly stated.

"At least we have ONE sane person on this trip. "Weiss wiped her forehead in relief.

"Hey, Ren! I brought the pancake batter! And the cooker!" Nora toted the aforementioned objects over her head, giggling.

"Please, tell me you bought the gas tank this time." Ren stated. Nora hauled up a blue tank of fuel.

"Oh, I didn't forget it like last time!"

Pyrrha looked around, frowning. "Jaune-kun? Jaaaaaune-kun?! Where are you?" She wandered around, passing by Minako, who was humming quietly to herself, before looking down at a bundle of clothes and bags. Making sure Pyrrha wasn't looking, she whispered to it.

"Psst. Jaune. She's gone."

The knight poked his head up through the pile. "Whew...thanks. I owe you one."  
"You owe me a date~"

"W-what?!"

"Not a serious one, silly. But you owe me dinner or a date." Minako winked at him mischievously, before looking up. "Oh crap, she's coming back! Get back in there!"  
"H-hey, wait-" Jaune was interrupted by the brunette shoving his head back into the pile.

Pyrrha looked around the place, pouting. "Minako, have you seen my Jaune-kun?"  
"No, not at all." She shook her head. "Why, you find him? I wanted to talk to him too."  
"O-oh...I just wanted to hug him..." Pyrrha frowned. "If you see him...tell him I'm looking for him, okay?"  
"No problem!" Minako smiled.

Pyrrha sniffed the air, walking off. "...It smells like Jaune-kun's cologne here..." When she was out of earshot, the girl wiped her brow in relief..

"Thank god...that girl needs help."

Weiss sighed. "This is already looking to be idiotic...still think it'll go well, Ruby?"  
"Of course!" Ruby smiled brightly. "This'll be awesome!"

"I wish I had your optimism..." The heiress grumbled. "Sadly, sharing a room with Yang isn't conducive to staying optimistic."

"I love you too~" The brawler smiled at her. "So...sit in pairs, one behind the other?"

"Yeah, sure." Blake shrugged "Why not?"

Glynda cleared her throat. "Now, this is not the first time we've run this trip, so naturally, we have some ground rules.

One, no tents are to be mixed-gender. "

At that moment, Pyrrha, Nora and Fox grumbled.

The instructor continued. "Secondly, nobody is to leave the campsite without myself, Professor Fall, Professor Faust, Professor Ozpin, Miss Lupin, Miss Honda or Professor Torchwick accompanying you."

"Tohru's coming on this trip?" Yang inquired.

"Yeah, she's asleep on the bus." Blake pointed her out. "She looks adorable..."  
"As is Torchwick." Weiss noted. "Excellent. The sanity of Misses Lupin, Honda and Professor Torchwick SHOULD Just about balance out having _Professor Faust_ come with us! Barely."

Professor Faust cackled, standing behind Weiss. "I heard that~"  
"G-gah! When did you get there?!"

"I have my ways." The professor adjusted her glasses. "I am offended you don't consider me sane! I assure you, I am merely ahead of the curve."

"Thirdly!" Glynda shouted out over the din. "Under no circumstances are any indecent acts to be done at camp! I will personally keep guard to make sure that you do not get up to...ahem...indecent acts."

Yang laughed. "This'll be fun."

"Just...Yang, please. No." Weiss pleaded. "Please, no..."  
"You're just adorable when you do that, you know?"

The heiress sighed. "I give up on this trip already."

"No questions?" Glynda looked around briefly, before she tapped her scroll. "Excellent! Everyone board the bus in team order! First on, Team RWBY!"

Ruby smiled. "Come on. Let's go."

Weiss sighed, kissing her on the cheek and walking on. "Let's hope your adorableness can get me through this trip without me wanting to choke Yang to death..."

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

The bus was packed to full and well on its way to the campsite, up in the mountains to the north of Vale. Weiss sighed, reading a book and leaning back in her seat- Ruby had long since fallen asleep and was currently leaning her head into Weiss' shoulder, asleep, her mouth slightly agape.

The heiress mused to herself quietly. "S-stupid moron...having to be so adorable...n-no human should be so cute.

I'm lucky for such a girlfriend, too. Somehow, she still manages to remain happy through the antics..."

"I heard that~" Yang giggled. "You know, you get so lovey-dovey around her, it's cute~"  
"I-I do not!" Weiss blushed, shaking her head.

"Oh, come now. Of course you do! She's your girlfriend. It's only natural, right?"  
"A-A Schnee does not get soft like that!"

"Your dad proves otherwise."  
"Shut up."

"Just because I proved you wrong~"  
"You p-proved nothing!"

"Pancakes, pancakes, rolling on the pan!" Nora yelled from the back of the bus, half-singing, half-yodelling. "Sweetest batter, creamiest butter, rolling on the pan!"

"Oh, dear Oum, she's singing." Weiss facepalmed. "How does Ruby sleep through this?"  
"She's slept through worse. She once slept through me and dad having a Gundam marathon when she was sick." Yang recounted fondly. "Rubes is one heavy sleeper, huh?"  
"Hmph." Weiss nodded. "Indeed. Adorable, though...I disagree."  
"Oh, come on. You find her adorable. You don't need to lie about it! Are you STILL being a tsundere when you're her girlfriend?!"

"I told you, I am NOT a stupid tsundere!"

Blake sighed. "Weiss, just accept the label. It makes you look cuter."  
Weiss glared at her. "S-shush! Y-you know nothing of cuteness!"  
"I made Norn deliberately adorable. Surely I know what a cute thing is." Blake shot back.

"Pipipipi!" Vivi waved at them, poking her head in from the seat in front of them.

"Hello, Vivi." Weiss nodded at her plushie counterpart. "Enjoying the trip?"  
"Pipipi!" She gave a stubby thumbs up. "Pippipipipi!"  
"What do you mean, watch out?" Weiss looked to her left, before Velvet dived onto her lap, giggling.

"Oh, your lap is so warm~"  
Weiss blushed, recoiling. "G-get off of me!"  
Velvet snuggled up as much as she could in the heiress' lap. "Nope~"  
"G-get off! Y-you pervert!"  
"The t-tsundereishness is so...adorable...I-I HAVE to snuggle up to her!"

"HELP!"

Vivi sighed. "Pipipipipipi." Shrugging, she licked a vanilla sorbet as Weiss struggled to get the bunnygirl off of her.

Meanwhile, Nora decided to announce a pancake fight in the back of the bus.

It was messy, to say the least.

* * *

**END OF PART 1**

* * *

**A/N: Part 1 out of the way, of ...let's say 3! Yeah! That's a good number.**

**So...I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, thoughts, criticisms and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	6. Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Several announcements to be made! Much hugs to be given!**

**Firstly, I'd like to announce that I've launched a community called 'The FNDM's Finest', featuring some of the best fics featured in Weiss Reacts and some of my personal choices! It'll be updated fairly regularly and with almost every chapter that features a real fic, so subscribe and check it out!**

**Secondly, and this is aimed more towards any Fire Emblem fans, if you missed the other announcements, I've recently released the Fire Emblem Reactsverse fic **_**Lucina Reacts**_**, featuring our loveable bluenette princess getting flustered from embarrassing fanfics, because Lucina! Please check it out and give it some love!**

**Fiiiiiinally, we're going to feature-*slap* What? What d'ya mean I can't spoil it?! Damn it. Well, that's it. The announcements are over!**

**That said, let's get this crappy chapter on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Raven Branwen would secretly be a sensei-chan type character. Because why not.**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Right, you rabble!" Cinder called from the front of the bus as it pulled in front of the campsite.

Nora pouted, sweeping the pancakes off of her and plopping them into her mouth. "Come on, Professor Fall! Can't we have ONE more minute?! I nearly WON THE PANCAKE WAR!"

Weiss glared at her, bits of pancakes stuck in her pale hair, plucking the crumbs out with her fingers. "No. Professor Fall, don't give her another minute. Dust be damned, how do you get pancakes in someone's armpits?!"

Beth grumbled, sweeping up the floor of the bus with a plastic broom, shooting Nora an icy glare.

Yang giggled, poking the pancake-covered Blake. The brawler was completely unscathed by the fight.

"Your manliness wasn't enough to save you this time, was it?"

Blake seethed quietly, clenching her fists. "She did not win by manly means! SHE DIDN'T WIN LIKE A REAL MAN!"

"Oh, come off it~" Yang crawled onto her partner, causing Blake to blush in embarrassment. "I'll clean you up~"

Blake's voice suddenly ratcheted up in pitch as Yang began touching her in places that no person should be touched. "W-wait! Yang! What are you doing?! D-don't touch me th-AH!"

Weiss facepalmed. "Stupid deviant! What are you doing?!"

Espresso took out a phone and snapped pictures of the event going on behind Weiss. "Oooooh...kinky!"

"Great, now she's bringing a stupid pervert crowd over here to WATCH her deviancy!"

Glynda sighed and strolled to the back of the bus. "Ladies, this is NO place for such indecency!" She glared at the row, before Yang sighed and left Blake alone, judging from her relieved sighs and heavy breathing.

"Fine...you're boring..."

Glynda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I do not know how your roommates can pull up with you."

"Neither do I, Professor. Neither do I." The heiress grumbled and picked up her things to leave the bus.

* * *

Slowly, the group filled out of the bus, waiting in a line with the rest of the people present. Glynda, Ozpin, Torchwick and Cinder were waiting in front of the students; the former three were wrapped up tightly in varying forms of winter wear. Cinder, however, was dressed in nothing more than her usual short dress, giggling at the cold weather.

Ruby huddled herself tightly in a large red coat with a wolf-themed hood, shivering. She looked around; most of the students present were also tightly wrapped up. The reaper could've sworn it wasn't this cold when they left Beacon.

"W-Weiss!" She looked over to her girlfriend, who was clad in nothing more than her usual attire, with the addition of black stockings to cover up her legs and a cartoonish scarf made to look like a shark wrapped around her neck.

"H-how are you not freezing?!"

"I enjoy the cold. It's just in my blood, I suppose." Weiss shrugged, the cold not even beginning to affect her.

Yang, also herself completely in normal attire except for her legs being covered in black tights, chuckled. "Is it..._Weiss_ cold enough for you?"

The heiress merely shot her a glare. "Yang, please, don't make such terrible puns, or I will be forced to execute you for treason."

"Awwww, are my puns too awesome for you?"

"A-ahem!" Glynda cleared her throat, shivering slightly and huddling herself in the cold. "Now...m-my students, w-we have arrived at the campsite! T-this is the b-best possible c-campsite that w-we have e-ever used..."

The site looked overgrown, with tumbleweed flying everywhere, vines growing on the walls of the cabins, and Weiss swore she could see a large Beowolf running from _something_ in the forest.

Indeed, the only pristine place in the camp was the lake in the background, a small ripple running across its surface from the light winds blowing that day.

The heiress shuddered. _'What could make Grimm run away so easily?! What in the name of Dust? This camp...should've been condemned the moment it was made.'_

"The finest quality we could muster." Roman said in a mocking manner, before adding in a whisper, "That is, because Ozpin's a damn cheapskate."

"So, ladies and gentlemen, the first and second year students will stay inside the cabins..." Ozpin gestured towards the overgrown cabins. "Don't worry, despite their appearance, they're _quite_ safe to stay in..."

Beth mumbled behind Team RWBY. "Only because I spent the last two nights FIXING the place up...cheapskate."

"And the third and fourth years will stay outside the cabins in their tents. The tents will be divided by gender, as my colleague has stated-"

Pyrrha, Nora and Minako all simultaneously punched the air in irritation.

"And the staff members will be divided between the cabins and the outside. Myself, Professor Torchwick and Miss Lupin will stay inside, while Professor Fall, Professor Goodwitch and Miss Honda will be outside to provide aid if needed." Ozpin nodded. "Also, Professor Fall, anything to add?"

"There's ghosts of all sorts in the woods, in addition to the Grimm." Cinder chuckled mischievously. "So be careful in there, yes?"

"Excellent, Professor Fall." Ozpin remarked calmly as if what she'd said was completely natural. "Are there any questions?"

Minako, Nora, Yang and Sky's hands all shot up.

"That aren't about the availability of food?"

And they all went down just as quick. The headmaster chuckled. "Excellent. Also, the third and fourth years will be expected to cook their own food, which I presume you DID bring."

Weiss and Ruby looked over to Yang.

"Sis, did you bring the food?"

"Please, Xiao Long, tell me you don't expect us to hunt for our food the whole trip."

Yang chuckled. "Of course not. I brought food! I'm not stupid, y'know!"

"I had Norn bring extra food for our group and I have the Lagann coming just in case Yang eats all the food." Blake muttered.

"I-I'm not that gluttonous!"  
"Says the person who brags about her fat going in all the right places." Weiss sarcastically remarked.

Yang smirked, chuckling at the heiress. "Oh...touché, Schnee. Touché."

Nora cheered, lifting her pancake mixes in the air. "YAAAAAY! I CAN GO COOK MY PANCAKES!"

Ren sighed. "Just make sure you don't cook all of them in one go."

"Aww! But that's no fun!"

Minako tapped Weiss on the shoulder. "Hey, Weiss."  
"Hm?"  
"Do you know where we're actually supposed to be cooking all these things? Do we have to make a fire?"  
"Actually-" The heiress started, but Minako's eyes glittered with excitement.

"Oh my god, cooking something over a bonfire would be so awesome! We'd sit around the fire and sing songs and-"  
"Actually!" Weiss interjected. "Most sites like this have a small hut where we have tables set up and several gas taps for cooking. We cook with bonfires on the last night, from what I remember."

Minako cheered. "That's awesome! I've never cooked with a bonfire before..."

"Not the best idea to experience that for the first time here. Yang will probably blow something up or something." Weiss rolled her eyes.

Ruby shivered, huddling next to the heiress. "I'm k-kinda cold...can we get into the hut now?"

"Yeah." The heiress hooped her arm around Ruby's. "Let's go. You look like a big red pillow in that, by the way."

"I-I think t-that's a compliment?"

"It is. You look adorable." The heiress giggled. "You also have a wolf hood, too..."  
"I-I got i-it as a p-present from U-Uncle Qrow!" Ruby commented. "H-He's a-always g-getting me w-weird things like this...k-kinda like d-dad..."

"Arf!" Zwei sidled up to the crimsonette, nuzzling her legs. Ruby smiled and crouched, patting him on the head.

"G-good boy..."

Nora pointed towards the cooking huts in the distance, next to the lake. "I found the cooking hut! Last one there's a plate of green eggs and ham!" Whooping, the valkyrie made a beeline for the hut. Blake, unsurprisingly, was not far behind; she was on the back of her Grimm Cerberus, who was whimpering at her.

"Well, come on, boy!"

The Grimm whimpered again, bowing his head. Blake sighed, before whipping out a fishing rod with a small, brown, bone-shaped snack on the end.

"I'll feed you some GrimmSnax if you run for me!"

"Woof!" Cerberus looked up happily and reared up, before carrying the catgirl afoot and beginning to catch up to Nora.

"This is payback for the pancake war!" Blake called out smugly.

Weiss facepalmed, shaking her head in exasperation. "Oh, it _begins..._"

* * *

Eventually, the third and fourth years had made it to the huts- most of the fourth years and the third years had screwed off and headed to other huts, leaving one for teams RWBY, JNPR, CFVY, MLDY and SONA. Cardin, Sky, Melanie and Miltiades had also decided to accompany them, breaking off from their teammates, and Tohru had decided to accompany them as their teacher.

Blake was the first one to arrive, whipping her fishing rod upwards triumphantly. "I win!"

Nora caught up to her, panting and clutching her knees. "Y-you cheated!"  
"You never specified that I couldn't use a mount! And I used the manliest of mounts!" The catgirl smirked, patting the Grimm on the head. "Now, Cerberus, have a snack~" She lowered the fishing rod into his mouth, and he happily gobbled up the snack, nuzzling his mistress joyfully. Zwei sidled up to him, and the dog and Grimm began chasing each other around the grass, relaxing and calming down after an entire journey spent crammed inside the bags of their mistresses.

"Hey!" Tohru cried out, running quickly behind them, clutching a clipboard to her chest. "Wait up-whoa!" The girl then proceeded to trip on her own feet, landing on the ground with a squeak. She frowned, rubbing her side.

"Ow..."

Weiss watched Cardin move over to help her up, sighing and looking over at the hut. "Oh _boy_, this is going to be stupid."

"Come on, Weiss!" Ruby hugged her girlfriend to her with her arm. "Positive thinking-" She sneezed, wiping her nose and frowning. "Ow..."

Weiss giggled, sighing. "You look like such a dunce...but you're an adorable dunce. _My_ adorable dunce."

She sniffed, smiling brightly. "Thanks..."

Fox shivered, huddling himself, not wearing any sort of winter clothing at all. His bare brown arms had visible goosebumps, and his hairs were standing on end as he looked around at the seemingly unperturbed Yatsuhashi.

"M-Man...t-this place is freezing!"  
"Should've brought a coat."

"I-I expected it to be hot, y-you know! I-It's like living in a refrigerator! "

"Don't be so dramatic."

Coco was huddled off in a corner already, her Latte personality expressed, her nose deep in a light novel. Velvet was sitting next to her, speaking to Vivi.

"Pipipipipi piii pipipi!"

"I suppose _that_ could work to sneak Weiss out of her tent while she's asleep...but how do we get past Yang?"  
"Pipipipi!" Vivi stretched out one of her stubby arms and pounded the end of another one into the end of that arm, resembling a person pounding their fist into their other outstretched palm. "Pipipi pi!"  
"Good idea!" Velvet giggled, scribbling down words into a pad. "You're the best, Vivi..."  
Vivi merely pumped her chest with her arm proudly. "Pipipi!"

The heiress made a mental note to sleep next to Ruby and in the middle of the tent to thwart whatever insane plan the bunnygirl had come up with to try and kidnap her, before strolling across to Yang.

"Listen, about our sleeping arrangements, I call the middle of the tent." Weiss stated. "And when should we set the tent up?"  
"Oh, we don't need to." Yang stated proudly.  
"Huh?"  
"I brought one of those Dust-powered heated tents that inflate themselves!" The brawler giggled. "It's in my bag." She plopped her yellow and black bag, embossed with her personal symbol, a stylized flame. "It's just under a bunch of other things, if you wanna go set it up now."

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit then." Weiss nodded at her teammate, as she and Ruby crouched by the bag and unzipped it, looking around for the tent.

"Okay...so...antic gear, books, antic gear, a laptop, antic gear-" Weiss grumbled. "Are ALL this girl thinks about antics?!"

"No, wait, what about THIS folder?" Ruby pulled out one labelled 'Top Secret'. "I wonder what's in this?"  
"Ruby, normally, I'd tell you not to look inside those things. However, this is Yang, and I don't trust that folder not to be a plan for an antic." The heiress shrugged. "Actually, pass it to me, I'll read it."  
"Here." The crimsonette passed it over, and Weiss slowly opened its cover.  
"Okay, let's see-oh. Oh _Dust no..._"

What lay inside the folder was art of Tohru, Minako and Lucina doing something _very_ indecent to each other, involving chocolate syrup and a very interesting position. Weiss and Ruby blushed as they looked at it.

Ruby shuddered. "T-that looks _very_ detailed..."

"Ugh...really?" Weiss threw her hands up in exasperation. "Who DRAWS this kind of thing about their classmates?! And that is NOT how you use syrup!"

"I-I have more uses for syrup..." The crimsonette mused to herself, causing the heiress to blush even more.

"S-shut up! L-Let's put this stupid thing away before something perverted happens!" The heiress hurriedly shoved the drawing back into the folder and closed it, before pulling out a bundle of cloth labelled 'Schnee Frontiers' and clamped with a metal brace.

Weiss lifted it from the bag. "Found it, I think."

"Good...now how do we use it?" Ruby inquired. Weiss rubbed her chin for a moment, before dipping down into the bag to pull out a remote. She handed it to Ruby, before picking up the bundle.

"I'll place the tent, you do the honors of raising it. Okay?"  
"Mhm!" The crimsonette nodded as Weiss went over to a flat spot near the forest, in the shade of a tree, calmly placing down the bundle and moving away from it.

"Now."

Ruby looked at the remote closely, checking its functions. It had only six buttons; Deflate, Inflate, Heating On, Heating Off, and two buttons with a plus and minus symbol, presumably for increasing or turning down the heat. She pressed the Inflate button.

"I did it!" She called over to Weiss, who looked over at the tent, placing her hands on her hips and waiting for it to inflate. After a couple of minutes, however, Weiss gazed back at Ruby.

"What's going on?"  
"I-I don't know! I thought it'd do it automatically! Hm...maybe it's just a small delay..." The crimsonette examined the remote, pressing the button again. "Hm..."  
"Or maybe it's stuck." Weiss sighed, walking over to the bundle. "I'll just have to-"

Suddenly, the Dust-powered tent inflated, sending the heiress flailing and screaming into the forest. Ruby's eyes widened in surprise, as she pocketed the remote.

"W-Weiss! I-I'm coming!" The reaper sprinted towards the place where Weiss had fallen to aid her.

* * *

_Minutes later, after Weiss was liberated from the brush..._

Weiss, now covered in twigs and leaves from her brush with the bush, and Ruby stumbled over to the cooking hut. Over in the corner, Cardin had begun cooking what looked to be beef noodles and serving them to Melanie, Militades and Sky, while Yatsuhashi and Tohru were helping to make riceballs and soup for team CFVY. Norn was rather expertly making a risotto for her team, as Minako stared hungrily at the rice pot and Elsa read a book next to their mysterious fourth member Ori, who herself was reading an Arthurian romance.

In the middle of the hut, Yang and Nora were having a shouting match.

"Me and Blake are the more awesome couple!"  
"No, me and Renny!" Nora retorted. "We're adorable!"  
"So are we!"  
"Nuh-uh!  
"Uh-huh!"  
"W-we're better pranksters!" Nora stuck her tongue out.  
Yang scoffed. "We WON the Antic War!"  
"_Weiss_ won the Antic War!"  
"Yeah, but we helped her win it! Team RWBY pride, for the win!"

Nora crossed her arms, rubbing her chin with one hand. "I suppose there's only ONE way to solve this!"

"And that is?"  
"A COOKING CONTEST!" The valkyrie concluded happily. "The best dish PROVES the best couple!"  
"Fine!" The brawler smirked. "You're on!"

Weiss sighed. "Screw this, I'm going to go walk in the forest for a bit. Ruby, wanna come?"

"Sure!" The reaper followed her as she went into the woods, taking in the fresh air.

Weiss sighed. "Ruby, you think Cinder was lying?"  
"Huh?"  
"About the ghosts in the woods." The heiress scoffed dismissively. "You REALLY think there's ghosts here? I doubt a rat could live here."  
"Well, I heard from dad that he went to this site before, and supposedly it's haunted by a family of ghosts." Ruby recounted.

"Hmph. Just a rumour." Weiss scoffed once more. "Don't pay any heed to it!"  
"If you get scared, Weiss-"  
"I will NOT get scared!"

"What about that girl in the maze-"  
"SHE SNUCK UP TO ME AND WHISPERED 'WOOF' IN MY EAR!"  
Ruby shook her head. "You mean she happened to be behind you and she had her own way of saying 'hi'?"  
Weiss crossed her arms, blushing. "H-Hmph! Have it your way, y-you dunce!"

Ruby giggled, kissing her on the cheek and hugging her. "I love your tsundereishness so much~"  
The heiress grumbled, but made no move to exit the hug. "Stupid adorable girlfriend...stupid..."

Suddenly, however, a loud howl sounded from the woods next to them, and Weiss paused, her eyes widening.

"W-what was that?"

"Yeah, what was that?" Ruby pulled away from Weiss, standing behind her and facing outwards. "Y-you don't think that's a ghost, do you?"  
"H-hardly." Weiss laughed. "T-there's no w-way. Probably one of Yang's antics."  
"Y-Yang's back at the hut, competing with Nora..." Ruby reminded her. Weiss felt her gut twinge slightly, and she was about to say something when she was interrupted.  
"Woooooooooo..." An ethereal voice whispered. Weiss froze.

"N-no way."

"Iiiiii am a ghooooooooooost!"

Weiss shook her head in disbelief. "No way. You're not real! You CAN'T BE REAL!"

Ruby looked around. "Huh? What's-"  
"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Suddenly, a horrifying spectre leapt out at the pair, as Weiss leaped into Ruby's arms, screaming in sheer terror.

Her scream was loud enough to be heard throughout the rest of the camp.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Oh dear, looks like there really were ghosts in the camp! Or are they? Cliffhanger time!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	7. Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 3!

**Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! After the crappy cliffhanger that was last chapter, we bring...yet another crappy chapter with which to blow your minds with the crappiness of! Hahaha! I am incredibly irritated right now for various reasons! Don't ask! These reasons are petty!**

**Taste. The. Bombardment. And the crappiness.**

**ok but for real more persona 4 references now have fun.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Ruby would have started the Beacon Jersey Club and would be going around twirling her fingers and saying 'Perfect'.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their owners.**

* * *

"AH!" Weiss screamed in terror, leaping into Ruby's arms, as a ghastly spectre leaped out of the bushes at them.

Ruby's eyes widened as she dropped her girlfriend, who leapt away and stood, shivering with fright. "P-Professor Faust?!"

"Boo." Gretchen Faust, Professor of various subjects Ruby couldn't even name, pale as a ghost, covered in dirt and twigs from the forest, dragging along her leather case of clothes and assorted valuables. "I just wanted to surprise you.

"And me!" Yuko Kanoe, Professor of Supernatural Studies, sidled up beside her, hauling along her own case, fading back into reality after deactivating her Semblance. "How could you forget poor little me, dear Gretchen?"

"W-what...in the name of Dust are you doing?!" Ruby looked dumbfounded.

Gretchen frowned. "You guys...forgot me. Do you mind not forgetting me next time?"

The reaper scratched her head. "How is that even possible? Didn't Glynda have a list of teachers on the trip?"

"Supposedly." She sighed, slumping and pouting. "It was so dreadful, walking all the way here with nobody but Miss Kanoe and a lovely gentleman with no face, excellent fashion sense and triangular shades for company..."

"How do you think I feel? I wasn't even told about the camping trip! It was as if Glynda-chan didn't want me to go!" Yuko pouted. "And that man was nicer! I mean, he liked talking about manliness, but come on, he made good tea!"

"Twenty dollars and five minutes of our time to have tea with him is all he asked." Gretchen mused. "Maybe I should've stayed there. At least HE wants me around more than Glynda..." She frowned.

Weiss stood there, still in shock.

"Yeah..." Ruby laughed nervously. "I don't think they're the only ones who didn't want you to come..."

Gretchen looked offended. "Why wouldn't anyone want me to come to a camping trip? I am truly hurt by such a notion! And I'm just a poor old woman..."  
"Boy...you really are the real deal." Yuko rolled her eyes. "Childish, young-looking...all you need now is no boyfriend-"

Gretchen stared at her with a glowering look. Yuko associated that look with the look that she usually gave before spawning her infamous spell circles and began trembling as the teacher advanced upon her. "What did you just say?"

"N-nothing!"

Ruby frowned. "Let's get back to camp...I think Weiss needs a break from the insanity."

"G-ghosts..." The heiress mumbled, still shivering. "S-stupid ghosts..."

Gretchen fixed her glasses. "Mhm. Yes. I believe I have so-"

Ruby shook her head and waved her hands about. "Nonononono! I mean...Miss Honda or Professor Goodwitch probably has something for her, Professor Faust!"

"Ah, yes. Of course. She's probably shivering because of the cold, and using a fire glyph might accidentally disrupt the magical equilibrium!" Gretchen concluded. "Excellent thinking!" With that, she moved off to the camp, as Ruby sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Or maybe making a fire in the middle of a forest full of wood while you're the one who scared the living daylights out of her isn't the best idea, Professor..."

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at the camp..._

Yang and Blake were huddled around a pot, tossing ingredients in like mad.

"Yes...yes, I will beat Nora. I'll show her that we're more awesome..."  
"Um." Blake raised a finger. "Are you SUPPOSED to put cinnamon with lemon bits and bacon?!"

"O-Of course! Who do you think I am?!" Yang retorted. "I-I know what I'm doing!"

"Are even following a recipe?!" The catgirl panicked.

"Relax! I've got this! I think!

Nora, meanwhile, rapidly stirred pancake batter and poured it into the pan with the same skill that a professional chef cooking such dishes would.

"Ren!" She snapped. "Grab whipped cream! Now!"

"Right." He lazily passed over the cream, but Nora glared at him.

"Faster, slave! Faster!"

"Sheesh." He grumbled and all but threw the can at her- she caught it without even bothering to look back. "So much for 'equal partners in a relationship'..."

Nora mumbled a mantra to herself as she flipped out the newly made pancake and poured more batter onto the pan. "Must make pancakes faster. Must prove pancakes are superior! PANCAKES ARE GOD"

Blake flinched, looking down into the pot Yang was cooking up. "...Dust, what IS that?"  
"My own special recipe of Xiao Long Stew!" Yang declared proudly. "I just made it up on the spot!"

"More like Mystery Food X 2.0." Blake mumbled. "This food looks like it could tip over a Grimm."

"Trust me-"

"This will end just like that time where Weiss ended up having those weird trippy dreams after eating your food..."

"Hello, students!" Gretchen strolled in, waving at everyone with her free hand. Yuko and Ruby were following her, with Ruby guiding a blushing, ashamed Weiss by the hand.

Tohru stood up, waving back. "Oh! Miss Faust! When did you arrive?"

"I walked all the way here since mean little Glynda forgot all about me and abandoned me back at Beacon..." Gretchen sniffed.

"Y-you mean Glynda deliberately left you behind because she d-didn't want any stupid antics like what you pulled off!" Weiss snapped, clenching her fists tightly.

"What does she mean by antics?" Tohru asked innocently. The teacher merely giggled.

"Oh, young Tohru, don't mind me~" Gretchen giggled. "Just a chance encounter in the woods, is all."

Yuko chuckled. "Yes, totally. It was hilarious, too."

"I-Is Weiss okay?" The girl looked concerned for the heiress.

"No. I have had my self-esteem and decency violated..." Weiss shuddered, shaking her head. Ruby merely patted her on the back, sighing.

"Don't worry, Weiss, nobody will ever know..."

Gretchen snapped her fingers. "Oh, right, I MUST go check in with dear Ozpin! Excuse me, ladies!" She sprinted off before Weiss could stop her. The latter hung her head in defeat.

"She's going to tell Cinder...who's going to tell Yang. My life is over, Ruby. I'm done..."

Ruby chuckled, hugging her tighter. "It's okay, I'll still love you~"

Nora stood up, proudly carrying four plates of steaming pancakes on a tray, tastefully topped with perfect swirls of whipped cream and halves of strawberry, drizzled with maple syrup and icing sugar, and stacked just perfectly, ringed with caramelized bananas, themselves topped with small dabs of cream.

"We...have completed a work of beauty." Nora sniffed proudly, her eyes watering. "May the god of pancakes look upon us well today!"

Ren licked his lips. "Wow...even I'm getting hungry just looking at that."

Yang scoffed. "Hah, you think THAT'S great? Take a look at OUR food!" She picked up her pot of unidentified stew, pointing it towards everyone.

Weiss gazed into the pot, and for some reason, it seemed to give her discomfort.

"What...IS that?"

"Mystery Food X redux." Blake sarcastically remarked.

"Yang Xiao Long's Secret Stew!" Yang brightly cheered. "And despite its resemblance to Mystery Food X, I assure you it's much more palatable!"

Weiss facepalmed. "I can smell the food poisoning cases already."

"Jaune!" Nora grabbed her teammate, who squeaked in surprise. "TRY MY FOOD!"

"N-no!" Yang shoved a plate of the stew and rice in front of him. "Try mine!"

Jaune looked confused, his eyes darting between the plates. "Uh...what?"  
"We're having a contest to see which couple is more awesome, me and Blake, or Nora and Ren!"  
"I-In an awesomeness context, not a r-romantic context!" Blake added slightly too hastily.

"And you decided to do this by doing a cooking contest?"

"Yep!" Nora declared proudly. "Now TRY THE PANCAKES!"

"No, try my stew!" Yang pleaded.

"Pancakes!"  
"STEW!"

"PANCAKES!"  
"STEW!"

"Fine, fine, I'll eat the pancakes!" Jaune sighed, taking a knife and fork and taking a slice out of the pancakes. "Dust, I wonder what this-whoa."

When they entered his mouth, Jaune left this world.

Having had just one bite, it was as if he'd entered heaven itself for one short moment. The texture was smooth, the maple syrup just sweet enough, the cream almost velvety in his mouth, and the taste...

The taste was divine, buttery and sweet in equally perfect proportions, with just a hint of cinnamon here and there.

He had never tasted anything like it. Jaune could live forever on these pancakes and-

"Jaune?" Ren poked him on the shoulder.

"J-Jaune-kun?" Pyrrha looked at him with watery eyes. "I-is he hurt?"

"That was..." Jaune blinked, snapping back to reality. "...that was delicious..."  
Nora cheered. "Yes! He liked it! I win!"

Weiss looked over at the pancakes. "...now I'm hungry..."

Ruby smiled. "I'll make you some later, okay?"  
"Heh. Thanks, Ruby." She smiled, kissing her on the cheek. "You're the best, even if you are a dunce sometimes."

Pyrrha grabbed Nora by the arm, shaking and pleading. "T-teach me how to cook like you! TEACH ME MASTER! I-I have to impress J-Jaune-kun!"

"No you don't!" Yang protested defiantly. "He hasn't tasted mine yet! This isn't over!"

She pushed the plate in front of him. "Eat up!"

"Okay..." Jaune sighed. "This looks...strange."

Blake sighed. "I'll get Miss Honda. This can't end well." She strolled off to grab Tohru, while Jaune lifted a spoon of the stew into his mouth.

"Well...here goes nothing." He gulped and put the spoonful into his mouth.

The last thing he could consciously remember was the food feeling distinctly _off_ in his mouth. Not strange, not bad, just _off._

Jaune fell face-first into the plate, unconscious.

Yang sighed, hanging her head. "...genre savvy, you failed me. I should've listened to Blake..."

Nora winked. "I win! I win!"

Pyrrha grabbed her teammate, sniffling. "J-Jaune-kun! You're hurt!

D-don't worry, I'll protect you from nasty mean Yang!"  
"H-hey!" Yang glared at her. "Not funny! And Nora, this isn't over! I WILL prove that our couple's better than yours!"

"Good luck~" Nora giggled, before skipping off to offer her pancakes to the other teams gathered in the hut.

Weiss sighed. "Well...there was ONE case of food poisoning." She walked over to Yang, grumbling.

"...and really, CINNAMON ON BACON?!"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Yang retorted. "D-don't laugh at me! I'm not a cook, I'm a connoisseur of fine foods!"

Weiss smirked. "Yeah, you keep on telling yourself that. I believe we can call this stew Mystery Food Y."

"Hmph." Yang crossed her arms. "I am telling you, you people don't have good taste!"

Ruby rubbed her chin. "Sis, you're acting all Chie-like now."  
"Pfft. Don't kid around with me. I'm more awesome than Chie." Yang boasted, before her pocket vibrated.

"Oh? My phone?" She fished her Schnee-brand phone out and checked the message.

"Cindy-chan? Oh? Oh." The brawler smirked at Weiss. Weiss froze, realising what had just happened.

"Oh Dust _no..._"

"You afraid of ghosts, Weiss?" Yang grinned.

Weiss cried out to the sky. "DAMN YOU CINDER FALL"

* * *

_Later that night..._

Weiss unfixed her hair, letting it flow in a white curtain behind her head. She was half-inside her Schnee Frontiers sleeping bag, embossed with a giant snowflake in the middle, looking over at Ruby, who resembled a giant earthworm, with nothing her head poking out of a giant red segmented sleeping bag.

Blake was sitting outside her sleeping bag, her legs crossed and her eyes shut, tolerating the cold in the pursuit of manliness. She was grasping her Core Drill in her hands, which was pulsing green.

Yang walked back into the tent with a lantern, giggling.

"Oh, Weiss. I hope my lantern didn't look like a ghost to you~"  
"S-shut up!" Weiss snapped. "I-I was NOT scared!"

"Professor Faust said you were practically about to wet yourself." Blake commented, her eyes still shut. "And then Professor Kanoe showed us pictures."

"I hate my life..." The heiress sighed. "Why are all our teachers insane?!"

"Not all of them, Weiss." Ruby commented. In the distance, Tohru's embarrassed scream could be heard, followed by Cinder's giggling and the snapping of a camera.

"Only some of them!"

"So, guys, ready for a party?" Yang offered cheerily.

Ruby chuckled. "You got the snacks?"

The brawler nodded, hurling a large bag of assorted snacks onto the middle of the tent. "Here. I got our snacks for the party.

Weiss shrugged. "As long as our party doesn't involve perverted things."  
"Oh, Weiss." Yang smiled mischievously. "It's okay if it's just between friends~"  
"N-no it's not!" The heiress snapped, blushing.

"So you wouldn't do it with Ruby?"

"Y-you...shut up! SHUT UP!"

Blake breathed in and opened her eyes. "Okay, my manliness acquisition is over. What are we gonna do?"

"Have a party, of course. Weiss wants to be boring, so all votes for not being boring?" Yang raised her hand, along with Blake and Ruby.

Weiss stared, dumbfounded, at her girlfriend. "Et tu, Rose?"

"Sorry..." Ruby pouted. "I-I just...don't want to be stuck here doing nothing tonight."

"I am NOT so boring that we won't do anything, Ruby!" Weiss protested. "You're a dunce!"

"Heheheh!" Yang cheered, taking out a can of Blue Cow and opening it, taking a swig. "Okay, what should we do first?"

"How about a bravery test?" Blake suggested. Weiss shot her a glare.

"Nah, I'm waiting for the opportune moment for Weiss to be ready for more of my pranks~" Yang grinned. "Now. Let's get serious.

Let's play Truth or Dare!"

"No." Weiss stated flatly.

"Why not?!"  
"Because you'll do something perverted." Weiss stated calmly. "What do you think?"  
"Let's put it to democracy!" Yang crossed her arms confidently. "All for truth or dare?"

Everyone in the tent save Weiss raised their hands.

"SERIOUSLY RUBY?!"

"Sorry..." Ruby blushed, laughing nervously.

Weiss scoffed. "That's it! No hugs for the rest of the trip!"  
"Nooooooo!" Ruby sobbed. "I-I need hugs! I-I'll die without being hugged by cute people! Weeeeeiss!"

"Hmph." She crossed her arms. "Y-you're not going to get my hugs."

The reaper looked at her with watery wide eyes and a large pout. "Weiss...love me..."

Weiss breathed heavily before sighing. "Fine...y-you idiot." She relented and gave Ruby a tight hug. The crimsonette cheered happily. "Yay for hugs!"

Yang cracked her knuckles. "Okay, ladies, let's start with...Blake. Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Blake said quickly.

"Okay..." The brawler tapped her chin before snapping her fingers. "Did you ever have a crush on that Adam guy?"  
"No." Blake responded flatly. "He was a wimp. Super serious about trying to be badass, but a wimp. Nowhere as manly as Kamina-sama."

"Okay, your turn!"

Blake looked over at Ruby. "Truth or dare?"  
"Truth." Ruby responded happily.

"What is the most embarrassing dream you've had about Weiss?"

"Oh..." Ruby blushed, tapping her chin with a finger. "There's a lot of dreams..."  
Weiss shook her head, trying to silence her with her hands. "S-shut up, Ruby! No!"

Yang, however, grabbed her and pinned her arms down. "Go, Ruby, go!"

"Oh, it involved a field of chocolate syrup, and it was...kinda...kinky..."  
Weiss blushed, shutting her eyes and shaking her head rigorously. "N-no!"

"O-okay!" The crimsonette pointed back at Yang. "Truth, or dare?"  
"Truuuuth!"

The heiress facepalmed, still blushing. "Really, you ask the shameless pervert about the truth?"  
"W-what's your favourite slash-"  
"Tohru with Lucina and Minako." Yang said before she even finished. "I ship it. It'd be so ADORABLE! And kinky."

Weiss resisted the temptation to shove her face into her own sleeping bag. "And as predicted, her answer is also shamelessly perverted."

Yang smiled, before pointing at Weiss. "Okay, since we've had three truths, you're doing a dare!"  
"W-what?!" Weiss shouted in disbelief. "How is that FAIR?!"

"Because I said so!" Yang cheered. "Now, let's see...you have to...go sneak into Jaune's tent and give him a kiss!"

"No!"

"Come on, Weiss." Blake smirked. "You know you want to. Ruby can come too-"  
"W-why?!" Ruby looked at her, confused and flustered.

"So you can both kiss him on the cheek."

"Oh, I never said _cheek_..." Yang grinned. "On the lips. More than five seconds."

"No."

"But-"

"NO!" Weiss shook her head, blushing and covering her ears. "I-I won't do it!"  
"Cindy-chan and I will tell everyone what happened in the woods~" Yang smirked.

Weiss stared at her. "Y-you wouldn't!"  
"You know me, Weiss. I would. Now...go give your boyfriend a kiss."

The heiress sighed and stood up. "F-fine...you idiot." Weiss slipped on her bolero jacket and headed out.

Yang sighed and slipped on her own jacket. "I'm going to make sure she actually does it."  
"Snap me pictures!" Blake asked as the brawler followed her teammate.

_Meanwhile, in JNPR tent..._

Jaune, Cardin and Ren were playing a game of poker. Jaune sighed, placing down a two of a kind, which Ren countered with a straight flush.

"Dammit, Ren!" He passed him a pair of chips, as Ren smiled smugly.

"Never bet against the house."

"I'm dealing the damn cards and he's still beating me!" Cardin stated in disbelief. "How is that possible?"  
"I'm just that good at this game." Ren shrugged. "No antics."

"Man..." The knight sighed. "If I was betting real money, I'd be bankrupt already."

Weiss poked her head in. "...J-Jaune?"

"Huh? Weiss?" Jaune looked up. "What are you doing in here?"

"I...um..." The heiress twiddled her fingers. "I-I just..."

Yang stormed in. "Coming through!" She grabbed Weiss from behind, dragging the duelist with her.  
"H-hey!"  
"I know you're going to skimp out on it, so I'm going to make sure you do it!"  
"Do _what_?" Jaune inquired, before Yang grabbed him and pressed his and Weiss' lips together tightly, letting go.

"Mmmph!" He blushed.

Weiss shut her eyes, her cheeks rouging. Yang quickly snapped a picture with her phone, before Weiss pulled away, shaking her head.

"...b-blame Yang..." Weiss sighed.

Surprisingly, he was a good kisser, though she'd never admit it to his face. And besides, Ruby was better.

Jaune held up a finger. "I...I...eurgh." He fainted into the chips, scattering them everywhere.

Yang held her thumbs up. "Just a game of truth or dare!"

Ren smirked. "Nicely played.

"S-stupid pervert..." Weiss grumbled, blushing.

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

Weiss huddled herself in a corner of the tent, shaking. "I-I kissed...Jaune..."

Yang smirked, fistbumping Blake. "Hah, I'm so awesome~"  
"Hehehe...we just need Jaune to kiss Ruby now." Blake mused.

"This was one awesome game of Truth or Dare!" Yang laughed.

Ruby sighed. "I don't think Weiss liked that game."

"O-of course not." Weiss muttered. "I kissed that idiot..."

The catgirl raised a finger. She whispered over to Yang.

"Psst... I hear something...

"What?" Yang whispered back.

"Yang, you up to something?"  
"That's not me...I swear..." Yang shuddered. "Wait...didn't Cinder say there were...ghosts...in the woods?"

"You don't seriously believe that, right?" Blake laughed.

"Yeah, but...that antic wouldn't be mine. I haven't set anything u-"

Suddenly, a shadow flashed passed by the tent's outside, causing Blake's ears to stand up on edge.

"W-what was that?!"

"I don't even-" Yang spoke, but then the sounds of breaking twigs interrupted her. She also froze.

"...oh Dust. What if there really ARE ghosts here? What are we going to do?"

Blake drew her Core Drill. "Why...if we're going to go out, then we're going to go out like MEN!"

"Yeah!" Yang cheered. "I supp-"

A giant fanged shadow, dripping blood, appeared next to Blake and Yang, just as a bloodied, mutilated face appeared in front of Weiss and Ruby.

Three girls screamed in abject terror. Blake, however, scoffed dismissively.

"Screw that. I'm going to go check who it is."

_Just outside the tent..._

Cinder snickered quietly, holding up a puppet with dripping strawberry syrup from one side, and Yuko holding a fake bloodied head on the other side.

"We are so awesome~"

"This was a hilarious idea!" Yuko giggled. "I can't believe I didn't think of this!"

Ozpin casually walked past, sipping a thermos of coffee. He looked over at the pair.

"Are you ladies busy?"

Cinder and Yuko nodded.

"It's for atmosphere, Ozzy~"

"Yep, what Cinder said."

"Right." Ozpin calmly took a sip out of his thermos. "Just don't get too carried away, ladies." He walked away, just as Blake exited her tent and rounded the corner.

"Cinder?"

"Oh crap!" Her eyes widened. "She's found us! Run!"

"RUUUUUUUN!" Yuko screamed and dropped the head, running, followed by Cinder.

Blake grumbled. "I've better pranks, scrubs." Shrugging, she walked back into the tent.

"Guys, you can stop screaming. It was just Professor Fall and Professor Kanoe."

"...t-those idiots!" Weiss punched the ground, blushing in embarrassment. "The NEXT time they come back, we're going to beat the living daylights out of them!"  
"T-that was a crappy prank!" Yang protested.

Suddenly, another twig broke, and something stumbled into the side of their tent, leaving a shadow.

Blake, Yang, Weiss and Ruby all picked up blunt objects, from books to shoes.

"Okay, when they come in, start beating them." Ruby hefted her shoe in her hand.

"On the count of three..." Yang said.

"One...two...THREE!"

The person stumbled in and was immediately beset upon by a mob of flailing hands and arms.

He screamed in surprise.

"Ow! Ow! Hey! Guys! Stop! It's me! Jaune!" Jaune tried to shield himself from the barrage. "Hey! Quit it!"

"J-Jaune?!" Ruby ceased her assault and pushed everyone else back, just as they too realised what was going on. "W-what's going on?"

"Why were you guys beating me with shoes and stuff?! That hurts!"

"Sorry, we thought you were Cinder and Yuko." Yang shrugged. "They came by earlier, trying some ghost nonsense on us. Why're you here?"  
"I'm...hiding...from Pyrrha." He sighed. "She's trying to sneak into our tent to share my sleeping bag while I sleep, and she's done it five times now. I'm trying to camp here for a while so I can sneak over to Cardin and Sky's tent and sleep there."

"Good idea." Blake mused. "Sorry about the beating, by the way."

"All's forgiven...just, please, mind having a look before you beat me up like that." Jaune sighed tiredly.

Weiss just shook her head. "This night's going to hell..."

Nobody noticed the small flaps at the back of the tent move slightly, followed by the quiet pitter-patter of footsteps.

_Meanwhile...outside..._

Vivi snuck back to the tree behind which Velvet was hiding. "Pipipipi!"  
"Excellent job..." Velvet rubbed her hands gleefully, before looking over at the kit she had ready- a sack, a wheelbarrow and a small trail leading to a small cave in the distance where she'd set up for an impromptu date with Weiss.

"So, you say it's absolute chaos there?"  
"Pi!" Vivi gave her a stubby thumbs up.  
"This gives me a chance!" Velvet laughed.

"Now...I will FINALLY get my date with Weiss-sempai!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the conclusion to the Camping Trip arc! Woo! Yeah! I said this would be three parts but there was too much hilarity that I needed to get out! **

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, reviews, criticisms, comments and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	8. Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part 4!

**Weiss Reacts to Camping Trips, Part Four!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Ahahaha, a big shoutout to Half-Blind Otaku for...Magical Moe Ushio, the most adorable thing to come out of a discussion about K-On and Blind Guardian. I think. It was a hilarious discussion that involved Gurren Lagann and VA jokes, as far as I remember.**

**Excellent, now let's get on with this even crappier non-fanfic reaction related chapter before I begin to ramble on and go on a tangent about how boring my life is! Excellent!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a Kaiju Grimm like Godzilla.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Velvet giggled, watching the chaos inside the tent. Weiss was waiting with her legs crossed for order to resume itself, with her back to the open flap of the tent.

"Perfect." The bunnygirl laughed.

"Pssst!" Velvet's ears twitched before she looked up to see Pyrrha, perched perfectly on a tree branch, looking into the tent with night-vision goggles.

"P-Pyrrha? What're you doing here?"

"I'm spying on J-Jaune-kun..." She sighed dreamily. "He thought I fell for his little straw decoy back in his tent...it's really cute..."

"Do you want to help me t-take my Weiss-sempai on a date?" Velvet offered.

Pyrrha nodded quickly. "Only if you help me get my Jaune-kun..."

"Deal!" The bunnygirl held her thumb up, the gesture mimicked by Vivi on her shoulder.

"Pi!"

"Hm..." Pyrrha rubbed her chin. "I'll grab Weiss, you grab Jaune, since you're better at this than I am."  
"Excellent thinking, young Padawan!" Velvet snapped her fingers. "Now...I'll go around the tent, If they see me, you tell me and we'll regroup next to Cardin's tent."

"Agreed."

_Meanwhile, inside RWBY tent..._

Blake offered Jaune an icepack, which he took gladly. He padded it over his bruised arms, sighing.

"I'm REALLY sorry about that."  
"No problem, Blake. I did say everything's forgiven. Least you guys didn't beat me up for no reason, even if it was a stupid one..." Jaune shrugged. "You got anything to do in here while I wait out Pyrrha?"  
"Uh...we could play Munchkin!" Yang offered happily. Jaune looked at her confusedly.

"What's that?"

"Ah, well, Jaune, you see-"

"It's probably full of antics because it's Yang." Weiss muttered.

Yang pouted, placing her hand on her chest and pretending to look offended. "Ugh, me? I am SO offended that you would think _moi_ would be obsessed with antics!"  
"Haven't been given any reason to believe otherwise. "  
"I got you and Ruby together, didn't I?"  
"No, I got me and Ruby together." Weiss retorted. "_You_ locked us in a closet hoping for us to do something indecent, you pervert!"

"In my defence, that pun was worth it and you are one useless lesbian if you can't admit your obvious crush on someone." Yang retorted.

Weiss blushed, punching her pillow with her fist. "I-It's not my fault R-Ruby was so hard to approach!"

"You thought I was hard to approach?" Ruby blushed, looking over at her girlfriend. The heiress jumped, staring at her.

"Y-O-Of course! Y-you're always so cheery and upbeat a-and I didn't know if you'd take me seriously, you stupid dunce!" Weiss snapped, crossing her arms and facing away. "Idiots."  
Jaune sighed, chuckling. "Well, they weren't wrong about you being a cute tsundere."  
The heiress glared at him. "W-who're you calling a tsundere, y-you moron?!"

"I-I'm just saying y-you're cute, d-don't kill me!"

"Hmph. Idiot. You have _no_ chance with me." Weiss scoffed, turning her nose up. Ruby giggled.

"I-I wouldn't mind sharing you with Jaune."  
"W-what are you talking about?!" Weiss stared at her. "D-don't say such stupid things!"

Yang broke out in laughter, clutching her belly.

Weiss glared at her. "Oh, what perverted glee do you take from THIS, you moron?!"  
"Y-you're so innocent for someone who acts so _mature_~"

"YOU DUNCE!"

Ruby sighed and hugged her girlfriend tightly to calm her down, while Yang and Blake turned around to watch the hilarity.

Nobody noticed a hand clamp around Jaune's mouth, who began flailing and screaming, before he was hauled out by two hands- one normal-sized, and the other a tiny stub. He managed, however, to kick Yang in the back before being dragged out of the tent, causing the girl to turn around.

"Huh? Jaune? What're you-" Yang continued giggling, before realising the boy wasn't there. "Jaune?" She blinked. "Where'd you go?"

"What about Jaune?" Blake looked over to Yang before seeing what was going on. "Where's he gone? Vomit Boy?"

"He just...vanished. You'd think he'd tell us before leaving..." The brawler shrugged, sighing. "Ah, well, you're welcome for all the help we've given you, Jauney-boy..."

"Hey, maybe he's fallen out of the tent like last time?" Ruby suggested. "Remember last year when we had that huge tent party?"

Weiss rubbed her chin. "You're right. That might be it..." She looked out of the tent again, musing.

Yang, Blake and Ruby looked out of the side of the tent Jaune had disappeared out of, while Weiss thought carefully about what was going on.

'_Hm...these idiots.'_ She concluded mentally, shaking her head. _'Of COURSE it was Pyrrha! It would have to be. They call me un-genre-savvy and they don't see this idiocy happening...I have to warn these fools before this night goes to he-'_

"H-hi, Weiss." Pyrrha's face poked out of the flap.

"P-Pyrrha?!" Weiss was taken aback. "What are you...oh, Dust, you're joking. You're working with Velvet, aren't you?!"

"Sorry, Weiss, but this is for the greater good!" Pyrrha declared, shoving a sack over Weiss' head and pulling her out of the tent.

"N-Nikos! Let me go! You perverted obsessed dunce! L-let me out!"

Yang looked back. "Weiss? Oh...she's gone too." She sighed. "She probably went out to check on Jaune..."  
"Exactly as predicted." Blake chuckled.

"Uh, guys, don't you think Pyrrha might be behind this?" Ruby suggested. "I mean-"  
"No way. Pyrrha wouldn't dare mess with us. We're too badass!" Blake declared, uproariously laughing. "Besides, what is SHE going to do?"

* * *

Weiss was chucked in a large burlap sack, next to Jaune, as it was tied over their heads. He waved tiredly at her.

"Hey. You feeling the deja vu too?"

Weiss mumbled. "I can't believe these morons fell for it, too! Yang's genre savvier than me, apparently, and she didn't predict this stupidity?!"

"Pyrrha somehow figured out I was hiding out in your tent..." Jaune sighed. "I'm sorry."  
"Dammit. How will we get out of THIS one?" Weiss complained. "I left Myrtenaster in the other tent and I don't have enough space to spawn a glyph..."  
"My Semblance will probably get us more screwed, and I don't have Crocea Mors, either..." The knight sighed. "Ah, well, ONE date can't be bad, right?"  
"I've been on a 'date' with Velvet. I would rather die." Weiss muttered. "She's an idiotic dunce who can't seem to understand that I...only see her as a friend. An insane friend, but...she's still my friend, and that's all."

"Wait, wait, shush!" Jaune held up a finger. "They're talking. I think they might be talking about where they're taking us!"

"Okay, okay, Arc." The heiress sighed. "Interrupt _my_ character exposition, why don't you..."

Indeed, Velvet, Pyrrha and Vivi were speaking. Weiss and Jaune felt their bag being lifted up and dragged over rough terrain. Jaune jumped slightly, rubbing his behind.

"Dammit, a pebble scraped me..."

"So, Velvet-sensei." Pyrrha began. "W-where's the cave?"  
"It's five minutes on foot, and it's _lovely._" Velvet squeed happily. "It's warm, nice, secluded...and nobody will ever find us there! And the best part- I picked it specifically so O-Elf-Sama couldn't intervene with anyone!

No badass Blake, no antics from Yang, no sudden save from Glynda or, Oum forbid, the Jersey Club, nobody!" The bunnygirl cheered. "I win THIS round, O-Elf-Sama! I WIN!"

"Pipipipi." Vivi sighed. "Pipipipipi."

"W-what do you mean I'm tempting fate? I read Weiss Reacts! I KNOW what he's planning!"

"C-can you send me a copy of this 'Weiss Reacts'?" The spearmaiden inquired meekly. "I-I think I might like to know how to get Jaune-kun to love me..."

"Oh, sure. It's in my suitcase, which we shall go to get after we have our dates with our beloved!" Velvet giggled. "I brought it with me JUST in case! I made sure to stay out of the hut scene, the forest scene AND the dare scene, just to make sure nobody could catch me before I get my Weiss-sempai!"

"This story must be a story of miracles..." Pyrrha's gasp of surprise could be heard.

Velvet chuckled. "No, it's nothing special. It's kinda boring to read, and terrible, too. I'd probably throw it in the trashcan if it wasn't for the fact that I can predict everything Yang and Blake will do by reading it..."

"Pipipipi?" Vivi inquired.

"Tch. Blake would never read Weiss Reacts. She's far too manly." The bunnygirl snorted.

"I-Is this the cave?" The spearmaiden inquired, before presumably gazing at it in wonder. "...it's amazing! You've got the tables and a candlelit dinner set up!"

"If I do say so myself, this is my finest work." Velvet declared proudly.

"Pi?!" Vivi responded incredulously.

"A-and Vivi's! I'm sorry, Vivi-chan..."  
"Pi."

"Someone shoot me." Weiss facepalmed inside the bag. "First I get plastered in pancake bits, then Professor Faust leaps out of nowhere to scare me half to death, then the stupid food contest, and then the truth or dare, and then THIS?!"  
"D-don't worry, Weiss-sempai!" Velvet cooed quietly. "I-I'll make it all better!"

"M-me too, Jaune-kun..." Pyrrha added quietly.

"We'll give them the best dinner ever!" The bunnygirl declared.

Pyrrha nodded, sighing. "Yeah..."  
"Huh? What's wrong?"  
"D-don't you think this is over the top?"

"Nonsense!" Velvet scoffed. "This is all for the Rule of Funny and because Weiss-sempai is adorable! Besides, we're the comic relief!"

"The what?" Pyrrha inquired curiously. "You know, Velvet-sensei, I don't know what you're talking about sometimes."

"Pipipipi." Vivi added.

"H-hmph!" Velvet presumably dropped the sack, because Weiss and Jaune felt themselves land on a smooth rock floor through the burlap. "Y-you two don't understand my insight into the world at all!"

"Okay..." Pyrrha sighed. "Well, come on, let's fix up the table for the date..."

"Pipipipi." The plushie said suspiciously. "Pipipi pi pipi pipipi pi pi."  
"What?" The bunnygirl stopped. "W-what do you mean? Do you hear something?"

Weiss pushed her ear towards the side of the bag. "Wait...can you hear that?"  
"Hear what?" Jaune inquired.

"...it's one of those stupid themes from that one stupid anime Blake watches." The heiress muttered. "What's that doing here?"  
"Seriously?" The knight cupped his hand on his ear. "I think that's...'Libera Me from Hell'...my dad loves listening to that, I wonder why."

Indeed, a speaker was blaring out the song, from which all five could faintly hear _'Touch the untouchable, break the unbreakable...row row FIGHT THE POWAH!'_ .

Velvet froze in place. "W-wait...what's that?"

Pyrrha was presumably looking around frantically, judging from the shifting noises. "...i-is Blake here?!"

"T-this wasn't supposed to happen!" Velvet cried frantically. "I-I had O-Elf-sama predicted! I know Blake can't know about this place-"

"PIIIIII!" Vivi screamed, before running out of the cave- Weiss inferred this from the frantic pitter-patter of plushie feet on the stone floor.

"W-what?! Vivi, come ba-" Velvet stopped mid-sentence. "P-Pyrrha?"  
"...i-it's..." The spearmaiden managed to squeak out, before running out herself. Velvet was left alone staring at something.

All Weiss and Jaune could see through the burlap bag's cloth was the silhouette of an inhumanly tall, impossibly thin man, his back erupting with tentacles which both could be seen glowing verdant green with what both Hunters recognized as Spiral Power, whirling themselves into the forms of drills, standing before Velvet's shadow, directly in front of the bag.

The bunnygirl gulped. "Y-you...w-with...S-Spiral Power...s-spare me!" She herself sprinted out of the cave, leaving the bag where it fell.

Jaune gulped. "W-what...could possibly scare Velvet and Pyrrha into leaving _us_ behind?"

"...n-no..." Weiss felt a twinge of fear in her chest. "...w-we're done for..."

They could feel the rope that kept the bag tied being unravelled. Both Hunters looked up to see an impossibly smooth head, devoid of all features save for being entirely white all over. Despite the many threats they had faced, a primal fear overtook their hearts as they gazed into its face...

...and then it donned a pair of triangular shades, similar to the ones Blake and Jaune's father loved to wear, before holding up a cellphone, adorned only with a tiny sticker of a motorcycle helmet with cat ears, into the bag.

"H-huh?" Jaune blinked. "W-what's that?"

On the screen was a message.

_THAT IS NOT THE MANLY WAY TO GET DATES DO YOU AGREE _

_REAL MEN GET DATES BY ASKING IN A MANLY MANNER, NOT ABDUCTION_

_ALRIGHT LISTEN UP AND CLEAR THOSE DUSTY EARS OF YOURS YOU TWO_

_I AM THE GREAT AND MIGHTY SLEN D. MAN_

_HAUNTER OF FOUR-CHAN THREADS, DREAMS AND POOR COLLEGE AGE FILMMAKERS_

_AND JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM_

Weiss stared at the screen, and then at the person holding it.

"What."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Weiss stumbled back into the tent, dishevelled and irritated.

Ruby leapt at her, hugging her. "Weiss!"

"Oh, hey!" Yang laughed. "We were looking for you! What gives?"

"I...don't know." She said blankly. "I...I seriously don't know."

"Did you see a ghost or something?" Blake scratched her head.

"I...think so." The heiress sighed. "Screw this, I'm going to sleep before more stupid things happen." Sighing, the heiress went off into her sleeping bag, drifting off to sleep moment her head hit the pillow.

Yang and Blake looked at each other.

"The heck happened to her?" The brawler inquired.

"She...either encountered a big lipped alligator moment or a Chekhov's gunman. One of those two." Blake mused. "Hm."

_Tomorrow morning, just after breakfast..._

"Wow!" Cardin gave Nora an approving nod, his mouth full of pancake. "This stuff's really good!"  
"It's the Valkyrie family recipe!" Nora giggled, cleaning off a plastic plate in a bucket full of soapy water.

Most of the group were gathered underneath the food hut, with Nora, Coco and Fox on cleanup duty. Team RWBY was sitting just outside the hut, looking over the lake, where the sunlight reflected off of the water.

"It's a warm day." Yang noted, stretching her arms. "You'd think it'd be colder."  
"Must be our luck today." Blake mused. "Perhaps the water's just right."

Weiss scoffed. "Oh, what are you going to do, bathe in it?"

Ruby snapped her fingers, her eyes bright with anticipation. "That's actually not a bad idea!"  
"What, seriously?" Weiss glared at her, but Yang nodded in assent.

"Yeah, we should all totally do that! I mean, this is probably the last good day for it. It's the beginning of winter, and these lakes'll probably be too cold or freeze over."

"This sounds like the beginning of a Persona cutscene." Blake remarked. "But yeah, I agree, we have to bathe in that lake at least once."

"Oh, this is an excuse just to be a bunch of perverts, isn't it?!" Weiss snapped.

"Errr, Weiss..." Ruby raised a finger. "Not everything is about being perverted-"  
"It's Yang, of course it is!"

Yang pouted, crossing her arms. "Hmph! I am offended that you would accuse me, an upstanding citizen, of such a crime!"

"You lost all right to complain about being called a pervert when you decided to ship Tohru with Minako and Lucina." The heiress retorted.

"It's just shipping! It's not per-"  
"You drew _indecent slash _of them."

"Completely irrelevant!"

"And drawing yaoi of Jaune and Ren isn't?"

Jaune spat his drink out. Weiss' gaze shot towards him- he was sitting behind the rock to Weiss' left.

"WHAT?!"

"Oh come on, you're a little into Ren." Yang teased him, giggling. "You always seem to li-"  
"N—no!" Jaune shook his head hurriedly. "O-Of course not!"

"I've heard you talk about his 'nice pink hair', his 'toned abs'..." The brawler winked.

The knight shook his head, blushing. "H-hey! I was talking about him like a friend! D-do you have to see ships in everything?!"  
"Yes."

"And now you know what I live with." Weiss muttered.

"Bathing in the lake?"

The heiress squeaked in shock and jumped as she realised Professor Faust was leaning into her.

"W-when did you get there?!"  
"That sounds like an excellent idea, Weiss." Gretchen giggled, before turning to the rest of the hut.

"Attention all students! Finish up clearing the hut! We're all going to swim in the lake!"

Glynda just looked at her incredulously. "What are you talking about? That's not on the list, Gretchen!"

"Oh, relax." Cinder shrugged. "It's just taking a swim."  
"T-that's not the point!"

Cardin looked slightly reluctant. "Heh...I dunno if I wanna go or not."

"Eh? Why?" Melanie sat next to him, frowning.

"I have...very embarrassing swimshorts. Or...well, speedos." He blushed ashamedly. "D-don't laugh, Mel."

"Awww..." She smiled. "That's cute."

"N-no it's not!"

Sky sighed. "You can borrow a pair of mine. We're pretty much the same size, right?"  
Cardin sighed in relief, looking over at his teammate. "Man...you're a lifesaver. Yang would give me hell about my swimming clothes..."

Weiss facepalmed. "This is already turning out to be stupid."

"Yeeeess!" Yang cheered. "We're going in the lake!"

"Damn you, Professor Faust."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Everyone had piled into the changing rooms near the lake- for obvious reasons, the staff changing room and the male changing room were far more desolate than the female one- and insanity was ensuing in all of them.

Weiss checked her own swimsuit- a rubber one-piece blue swimsuit embossed with the Schnee snowflake- to make sure Yang hadn't tampered with it, before slipping it on. She poked her head out of the stall she was in, looking over at everyone else who had finished.

Yang, herself in a fairly skimpy yellow two-piece swimsuit, pouted. "Dammit, Weiss, you didn't wear the pink bikini!"  
"S-shut up, pervert!"

"Then you and Ruby would've had a matching pair!" The brawler reminded her.

"W-we are not some s-sickeningly sweet couple! We don't DO that, i-idiot!"

"I'd say something to contradict that, but...I just realised I don't have anything to." Blake, leaning on the wall, still in her normal clothing, shrugged.

Yang looked over at her. "You're not going in?"  
"I...have an aversion to water. It's a cat thing."

"But whyyy?!" The brawler frowned. "Y-you'd look so cute in a swimsuit!"  
Blake felt her cheeks go red and touched her right cheek with her hand. "D-don't say things like that!"

"Awww, embarrassed? I could say-"  
"N-no! Enough!"

Weiss grabbed a towel and began to walk out. "If you're done being perverted-"  
"Ah." Yang held up a finger. "Not yet. Wait for it..."

Suddenly, the embarrassed screams of Tohru, Minako and Lucina could be heard nearby, followed by various apologies and quickly-uttered pleas for mercy. The brawler smiled.

"NOW I'm done."  
Blake stared at her. "What did you _do_?!"  
"Oh, just borrowed some..._things_ from Professor Faust and got them all into one shower room. The pictures should be coming in nicely." Yang whipped out her phone and checked.

"Hm...they do all have those adorable blushes."

Blake tilted her head. "That's...strangely kinky, actually."  
"And now you know why I draw slash of those three."

Weiss shook her head. "I'm done." Sighing in exasperation, she stormed out, before hearing a loud, mannish scream.

"W-what?! What d'ya mean your shorts shrank in the wash?!" That was Cardin, and he sounded very, very flustered.

"I-I'm sorry, dude! I didn't remember to remove the damn thing from the wash!" Sky responded, equally embarrassed. "

"Dammit!"

Weiss sighed. "This is going to be worse than that beach trip dad forced me to go on." She shook her head and continued walking down to the lakefront.

Ruby and Nora were already down there, along with Ren. Ruby waved at her girlfriend, smiling.

"Hey. Thought you didn't want to go into the lake, Weiss."  
"Well, what else am I going to do? And I'm probably going to end up in the lake at some point." Weiss shrugged. "Wouldn't put it past Velvet or Yang or someone to try."

"Makes sense." The reaper shrugged in return. "What happened in the changing room, by the way?"  
"Yang did..._something_ to Miss Honda, Minako and Lucina that I'm thankful I didn't see." The heiress shuddered. "Really, the length to which she'll try to pair her pairings together..."  
"We'd know a lot about that." Ruby laughed.

Weiss rolled her eyes and took a seat next to her. "Unfortunately."

Yang strolled over to them, pouting and crossing her arms. "B-Blake is being mean!"

"What, she doesn't want to fulfil your perverted urges?" Weiss retorted.

The blonde brawler frowned. "Hey, no use hanging out around a load of people who're going to go swimming if you're not going to go swimming yourself, eh?"

"Hmph." Weiss scoffed. "Well, I hope you didn't force Blake into a swimsuit!"

"She managed to crawl out of the changing rooms while we were middle of the scene transition to the lake." Yang rolled her eyes. "Stupid fourth wall."

"Quit speaking about this 'fourth wall', I keep telling you I don't know _what_ it is!" The heiress sighed and stood up, strolling over to the lake.

"Well, since I'm going to end up in there anyway, I might as well get started on swimming..."

Weiss slowly walked into the water, shuddering slightly from the frigidity of the water, before settling in and allowing herself to acclimate to the water.

"...I can sense the antics already." She sighed. Ruby noticed something swirling in the water. She stood up and began to run towards her.

"Weiss!"  
"Huh?"  
"W-watch out!"

"What the-" Weiss was suddenly tackled out of the water by Latte, hugging her tightly. The girl was blushing and shaking her head.

"ImsosorryWeisssempaipleaseforgivemeIonlywantedtostopVelvetfromkidnappingyouagainpleaseforgiveme!"

"C-Coco?!" Ruby shouted in surprise.

"No, Latte." Yang shrugged. "Did you already forget the whole 'split personality' thing?"

"Oh, right."

Latte relinquished Weiss, blushing and covering her face.

"I-I'm so sorry! I-I was just...e-excuse me..." She stumbled out of the water, running in embarrassment.

Weiss blinked. "W-what in the name of-"

She was interrupted by the sight of a large net clamping shut on the place she was barely seconds ago, pulling itself up by Dust-powered miniature rockets. Weiss' eyes widened as she looked over to where Latte had run away, shaking her head and mumbling.

Weiss clenched her fist, her temper pushed to its limits. She looked up.

"Screw this, I'm going to get out of this lake before more antics happen!"

Needless to say, the rest of the afternoon was spent trying to persuade Weiss to leave the tent for at least the bonfire dinner, punctuated by Yang's laughter. Cardin was thankful for the distraction, as it allowed him to take a small swim in the water before changing out without anyone noticing his ridiculously small pair of speedos.

After half an hour, Ruby finally managed to pull Weiss out of her tent with fifteen minutes of snuggling and Weiss' shark plushie.

* * *

_That night, around the bonfire..._

Weiss crossed her arms, sitting squarely on a log in front of the pile of firewood that was being stacked for the traditional bonfire.

Minako sat with bated breath, excited. "Oh my god, this is going to be SO amazing!"

"This camp has been absolute hell, Minako. I doubt this'll be any better."

"Awww, come on! Think positive!"  
"I seem to recall you were shoved, naked, into the same shower room as Lucina and Miss Honda." Weiss retorted. "How are you not embarrassed by that?"  
"O-Of course I am!" The girl blushed, shaking her head. "B-but that's not the point! Surely not EVERYTHING went wrong, right?"  
"I was involved in a pancake fight I wanted no part in, leapt out at by one of the most childish teachers known to man, Faunus and robot, shoved into a truth-or-dare game that destroyed the last of my decency, got kidnapped by a pair of obsessed stalkers and rescued by..._something_ before ALMOST being kidnapped _again._" Weiss detailed, exasperated. "Do you really think I don't want this camp to end?"  
Minako frowned. "Aww, Weiss...it could be worse. You could be sharing a tent with Velvet."  
The heiress blinked, before shuddering. "You...actually have a point."

Meanwhile, over the other side of the pile, Glynda supervised Gretchen trying to light the fire with what appeared to be a Schneeppo-brand lighter. The blonde instructor sighed, rubbing her temple with her right hand.

"Faust, are you entirely sure you know how to light a fire?" Glynda inquired. Professor Faust turned to her, pouting.

"O-of course! Who do you take me for, an immature dunce?"  
Glynda rolled her eyes. "I'm hard-pressed to say anything but 'yes'."

"I'm shocked! I-I taught you everything you know!"  
"Did teaching me all I know have to involve so much cosplay and explosions?"  
"Cosplay and explosions are the BEST way to teach people!" Gretchen declared. "There IS no other way!"

"Preach it to the choir, miss." Cinder smirked, hi-fiving her former teacher.

"You would know a lot about that yourself, wouldn't you?"  
"Of course, dear Glynda." Cinder smiled. "I believe that antics are the highest form of art! Just like you used to believe that 'Wizards of Romance' was art."  
"IT WAS ART YOU PERVERT!"  
"Oh, _Anton..._" Cinder said in a dramatic tone, quoting from the series. Glynda shot a glare at her.

"You...keep...quiet...you stupid pervert..."

The pyromancer grinned at the flustered expression she was inducing in her colleague and continued. "_And Magical Momo quietly called out 'Brigitte...take me...'"_

Ozpin calmly drank out of his thermos, sitting between both women. "Ladies, if you must fight, then take it somewhere where there is not an abundance of loose and flammable substances to throw about."

"T-tell her to stop being perverted!" Glynda crossed her arms and pointed at Cinder.

"Tell her to stop being mean to me!" Cinder pouted and pointed back at Glynda.

"You're both equally immature." Ozpin sighed.

"I AM NOT IMMATURE, OZPIN!" Glynda glared at him.

"I am a perfectly mature woman!" Cinder snapped, clutching her Burrito-kun to herself.

Gretchen grumbled, discarding the lighter. "This isn't working. I'll have to light it with circles."

"That isn't a wise idea!" Glynda warned her. "Your circles tend to end up causing collateral damage!"

"Doing it!" The instructor called out, before beginning to carve a circle into the logs.

Blake, noticing this, quickly began to drag Yang out of the scene, much to the latter's protests.

Weiss looked over to her. "Huh? What's going on-"  
"Everyone, prepare for a magnificent bonfire worthy of the gods!" Professor Faust announced, cackling maniacally as she activated the circle and-

"NOOOOOO!" Glynda reached out for her, but it was too late.

Far, far too late.

* * *

After the blaze that was caused by accidentally lighting all the wood in the area on fire and cleaning the soot off of everyone, by that time, all desire for a bonfire had been quenched.

And nobody ate dinner that night.

Needless to say, the entire group went home early the next morning, tired, though Weiss most of all.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Aaaaand that's over!** **Good grief that took too long.**

**Well, next time, we'll be covering Half Blind-Otaku's 'We Were Close'! More Blake! More insanity! More...moe vampire maids! I think!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your reviews, ideas, comments, suggestions, criticism and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	9. Special Chapter: We Were Close, Part 1!

**Blake Reacts to We Were Close, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes! We still react to fanfiction! Although we just happen to have very long hilarious filler arcs with giant mecha and yuri! Which apparently makes up 90% of all anime! I don't know! Things! Also, I'd like to announce that for anyone who cares, we will be embarking upon a very interesting Reaction chapter fairly soon; Weiss Reacts to Puella Magi, as I have decided to revisit the series after getting myself addicted to Rinne no Lagrange.**

**So, today, we're going to start a two-parter about the absolutely amazing fic 'We Were Close' by my fellow author and partner-in-awesomeness Half-Blind Otaku- go read We Were Close instead of reading my chapters on it, seriously, it's just far better in quality and writing than this crap- and instead of focusing on Weiss, we're going to have more manly Blake! Which makes sense, Blake is the main character! Did I mention I like writing Blake as a manly fangirl? I did.**

**Well, let's get this chapter on the road, and a huge thank you to Half-Blind Otaku for letting me write about his fic!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise team JNPR would be running a host club (come on, guys, Pyrrha in a suit. *drools*)**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**We Were Close belongs to Half-Blind Otaku.**

* * *

"Weeeeeeiss!" Ruby called out. "I need a huuuuuuug!"

"I'm already hugging you, y-you dolt!" Weiss responded, her hands firmly around the reaper's body. "Y-you can be such a dunce sometimes..."

"I'm just so used to you hugging me~"

"D-don't be." Weiss sputtered out, blushing slightly. "Maybe I'll withhold hugs one day-"  
"NO WEISS YOU CAN'T DO THAT PLEASE I BEG YOU I CAN'T GO WITHOUT HUGS FOR ONE HOUR LET ALONE ONE DAY"

Yang chuckled, kicking back on her bed and playing Fire Emblem on her SchneeDS. "Heheheheheh...obvious fanboying is obvious, Elf."

Blake pushed the door to the dorm open, sighing. In place of her normal attire, she was wearing a fairly tight white tank top, stained slightly pink and brown, with the large Team Dai-Gurren symbol embossed onto the front and a pair of short khaki shorts. Yang whistled appreciatively, her eyes scanning her partner's torso.

"Whoa, kitty~ Nice dress~"

"D-don't say it like that..." Blake uttered, blushing, before shaking her head and sighing. "Man, I'm tired."  
"Huh?"

"Sakuradite is surprisingly hard to work with." The catgirl said, moving over to the dorm's computer, booting it up and logging on to her account. "Hence the stains."

"Y-you're making Knightmare Frames?!" Ruby perked up, her eyes widening in amazement.

"Trying to." Blake corrected her quickly. "I might need a couple more days to work out the kinks. Which, actually, reminds me.

Yang, do you mind asking Professor Faust if we can set up the Mecha Club already?"  
Weiss chuckled. "A Mecha Club? Good Dust, Blake."

"What? I've got a petition!" Blake held up a sheet of paper, complete with signatures from various students from the school. Apart from the obvious two at the bottom, "B. Belladonna" and "Yang X. L.", a dozen others could be seen, including "N. Valkyrie", "Ren L.", "M. Arisato", "S. Ikari" and "R. Ayanami".

"We got about five guaranteed members!" Yang noted happily.

"Glynda's never going to approve that." Weiss stated.

Blake shrugged. "Eh, don't worry. We're not going to let Glynda know until we have three teachers approve us."  
"And the Student Council. Of which, may we be reminded-" Yang tapped the side of her bed to make a fake drumroll.

"Of which a certain Lie Ren is the President of, a certain Minako Arisato is the treasurer of, and a certain Cinder Fall its supervisor..."  
The brawler giggled. "And there's no way Professor Fall will say no to a chance to show off her Paladins. No matter HOW much they suck!"

"Oh dear Oum, I can already smell the antics." The heiress sighed, relinquishing Ruby to facepalm. "Miss Lupin and Glynda are going to have a heart attack when they see the damage you'll cause..."

"Eh, Gretchen'll fix it." Blake shrugged. "Now, to see whether or not people have taken my challenge up..."

"What challenge?" Ruby inquired.

Yang went back to her game, chortling. "Apparently Blake put up a challenge on her DustFiction account challenging people to write a fic using her real self, that being 'being manlier than she is in RWBY' the day we got back from camp. She wants to see if anyone responded to it."

"Bah, it's just that crappy Weiss Reacts fic Elf writes!" Blake scoffed. "Well, that's boring, nobody wants to make me as manly as I really am. Figures.

People can't handle my awesomeness. Maybe I'll have to post that selfie me and Kamina-sama took when I visited Jaune's house..."  
"Blake, just because Jaune's dad _looks_ like Kamina and _sounds_ like Kamina doesn't _make_ him Kamina!" Weiss groaned. "Do I have to explain this to you people?! Honestly, it's like every person of worth here is famous or something. I know we have a web animation about us, but honestly..."

Yang and Blake merely shared a meaningful look. Weiss took note, and stayed silent for a few moments, before sighing irritably.

"What now?!"

"Nothing~" The brawler said teasingly, as Blake browsed through the fanfiction archives.

"Hm...come on, can't I have ONE fic that shows my true manlness?!" The catgirl complained."Hm...wait, oh? This might be one. And it's by that guy who uploaded Glynda's diary, too."

"We Were Close?" Yang said, suddenly by Blake's side. "Huh. That sounds interesting. An old flame of yours? And it isn't Adam?"  
"Adam wasn't manly enough." Blake scoffed. "Too much of a wimp. And I don't mean the Simon, 'cute with potential' kind of wimp. I mean the kind of wimp that makes you want to punch them in the face for being useless.

Or maybe I just hated him for being too serious. I dunno. I don't dwell on it, honestly." Blake shrugged casually. "Eh, well. I've got nothing else to do. Let's read this thing."

"Yay! Fanfic!" Ruby cheered, grabbing a cookie-themed beanbag and sitting next to Blake. Weiss sighed and sat on the bed next to her, with Yang sitting opposite on her bed.

* * *

All four girls had only one thing to say after reading the first chapter.

"Mina's totally a vampire. And there's probably going to be a 'blind as a bat' pun somewhere."

"I'm loving the Dracula shoutout, though." Blake chuckled. "Also, that's pretty clever, making her a bat Faunus."

"The bad thing is that the only thing I haven't seen pop up in this Dustforsaken pit of insanity is a vampire." Weiss remarked drily. "That says a lot about how insane Beacon is."  
"Personally, I'd be looking at that Saya girl, if you were looking for vampires." Yang whistled. "She's thinner than sticks, but damn she hurts when she punches you..."

"And she even sounds badass, too." Blake sniffed. "Finally...an author who understands my need for manly companionship!"

Yang cleared her throat loudly. If Blake heard her, she didn't say anything.

Blake went onto the next chapter, reading it.

"Heheheh...our Cardin would be so steamed to see himself being so racist..." The catgirl mused. "Aaaaand I can imagine just how that fight would go over here. Also, I CALLED Mina being a vampire."

"They'd both be out. Cardin from being drained, Mina from being punched in the face by a guy who's knocked out Sues." Yang chuckled. "And, if I recall, has that stupid lightning Semblance that makes him even more of a Kanji expy."

Blake continued reading. "Dammit, not another dark and troubled past me! Why can't I have a nice past with kittens?! And manly things?!"

"Dammit, I'm angsting again!" Weiss protested. "I'm not THAT angsty!"

Yang giggled. "Gentle Velvet my backside...we need to show this guy _our_ Velvet."

Weiss nodded. "Show him my dad. Somehow, I don't think he'd be too appreciative of being reminded of _his_ dad..."

Blake moved onto the next chapter, reading it carefully. "...aaaaand what do you know, a blind as a bat pun. And since that puts her in the same category as Zatoichi and Lee Sin, that makes her even more badass.

O-ELF SAMA WHY CAN'T YOU GIVE ME A LOVE INTEREST THIS BADASS?!"

Yang crossed her arms and glared at Blake, clearing her throat slightly louder this time.

"Wait, aren't there Braille books?" Weiss commented. "I'm pretty sure that stupid smut series Blake loves so much got a Braille translation. Mina being a pervert would make sense, considering she associates with a bunch of perverts..."

"It's art, Weiss. Just like your yaoi doujinshi is, which, by the way, contains this exact quote," Blake shot back, clearing her throat and lowering her voice.

"_Oh, Suzaku..."_

"S-shut up! Those were PRIVATE!" Weiss blushed in embarrassment, shaking her head.

"Hah! As if I'd ever consider going back to the White Fang. I think this is about the only thing me and wimpy crappy canon-me can agree on." Blake chuckled, before sighing.

"Well. This fic's going to get very interesting. Mina's there to drag me back to Adam?"

Yang scoffed, harrumphing. "I hope she does."

Blake frowned. "H-hey! What did I do?"

"Nothing." The brawler brusquely stated. "I'm just saying, if you like her so much, go with her."

"Okaaaay..." The catgirl looked slightly confused as she moved onto the next chapter.

"...and she's hot, too..." Blake drooled slightly. The brawler slapped her on the back of the head, causing Blake to glare at her.  
"Hey! What gives?!"

"What am I, chopped liver? I'm, like, the local Ms. Fanservice!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Yang, don't be jealous of a _fictional character_-"  
"J-Jealous?! I'm not jealous! There's no way Mina could ever compete with me!"

"Awwww..." Ruby giggled. "Yang's getting protective~"  
"Hey! I'm the one who does the teasing around here!" Yang snapped at her sister.

"A date with Mina, Yang?" Blake chuckled. "That sounds perfec-"  
"No." Yang calmly shut her down. "Just read the stupid fic already, idiot."

"Jeaaaaaalous!" Ruby teased her sister, giggling.

"...oh, finally, someone who's Yang's match." Blake mused. "For once, someone gets Yang drunk instead of the other way around."

"Impossible." Yang waved her hand dismissively. "I've got a tolerance."

"Oh dear Dust this sounds incredibly wrong." Weiss shuddered, reading the end part. "W-why did she have to do that?!"

"Vampire. Or bat thing. I dunno." Blake shrugged. "I'll have to actually meet a bat Faunus to figure out if that's actually a thing."

* * *

"This fic is so PERVERTED!" Weiss cried, reading the end of chapter six. "Why is EVERY LAST AUTHOR HERE PERVERTED?!"

"It's just a makeout scene, Weiss." Ruby shrugged. "We do that all the time, Weiss~"  
"N-not with blood a-and weird things like that! I mean, really?!"

Yang only sulked more with the scene's end, looking away from Blake.

Blake shrugged. "Eh. I've seen worse. At least we made a good showing of being badass, right? Anyway, to the next chapter!"

"Woo!" Ruby cheered.

"...such sad history..." Blake muttered. "...and WHY AM I STILL NOT MANLY?! If that was REALLY me, I would've gone RIGHT up to Mina and said 'You bit him? That's cool! Let's kick ass! That's the way Team Gurren does things'!

I hate being such a pansy in fanfics."

"That backstory sounds terrible." Weiss noted. "And not in the quality sense. The 'that's actually pretty sad' way."

"We're pretty lucky we grew up in a lighter and softer fanfic world." Blake whistled, reading through her and Mina's shared backstory. "If only I could show all my other selves Gurren Lagann..."

"Torchwick's going to get bitten before this fic ends..." Weiss predicted. "If he's treating a super-strong badass vampire person like that, there's only one way that's going to go."

"Well, I predict that she's going to end up being the mole or something." Yang raised her finger. "Probably. That's how these usually go."

"We'll see about that..." Blake waited as she went over to the next chapter. She chuckled.

"This girl loves her black lingerie."  
"No kidding." Weiss nodded.

"Is her Semblance attracting people or something?" Ruby noted. "She and Jaune need to talk about things."

"That...would probably doom the world. Somehow." Weiss shuddered. "Seriously, his stupid Semblance is too strong as it is..."

"We're such idiots in this fic." Blake facepalmed. "Seriously, I decided NOT to tell you guys about the dangerous ex-terrorist who MIGHT be trying to recruit me back to the White Fang and left Weiss, a KNOWN enemy of the White Fang, alone with her?

We must have been seriously grasping the idiot ball there."

Yang muttered a "Yep" as she clenched her fist. Blake looked concernedly at her.

"Is there something wro-"  
"I'm completely fine." The brawler sighed, giving her a small smile. "I'm just...a bit miffed. Come on, am I not hot and manly enough for you?"

"Of course." Blake chuckled. "You're Yang Xiao Long, why wouldn't you be?"  
"Hm." Yang breathed in deeply. "Very well. I'll stop sulking. But you owe me a hug."  
Blake obliged, wrapping her arms around her tightly. Yang returned the gesture, sighing happily.

Suddenly, the catgirl's eyes widened in embarrassment, as she blushed.

"D-did you j-just-"  
"Nope~"

"But your hands just-"  
"Nope~"

Weiss sighed irritably. "And we're back to having perverted Yang. Just when I thought she would be sane."

"Blake, you're so soft~"

"Q-quit that!"

"Okay, well..." Weiss sighed as she read the next chapter. "Let's just hope that-

Oh come on, REALLY?! Yep, that's the idiot ball grasped tightly, alright! Getting kidnapped by Mina...I am SUCH a fool!"

Blake whistled. "This just got serious. And Mina...has some serious issues. Someone needs to show that girl a therapist.

Or her Shadow."  
"I still remember facing mine." Yang chuckled.

'_I still can't believe you only ever used me as pyrotechnics,' remarked Kyuubi-no-Kitsune, Yang's latent Persona._

'_Sssssshh, you're a Chekhov's Gun!'_

'_A what?'_

'_Never mind.'_

"Velvet was never _this_ bad..." Weiss mused. "And I chafe at being depicted as a victim."

"You and me both." Yang chuckled. "Hey, another thing we agree on!"

Ruby laughed. "Yeah! You actually agreed!"

"At least I know she has common sense somewhere in her perversion-addled mind."

* * *

"Aaaaaand...that ended surprisingly peacefully." Blake nodded, rubbing her chin. The girls had managed to read the last couple of chapters relatively quickly.

"Firstly, damn straight she has a psyche more shattered than Shinji's and Yuno's combined! Dust, girl, at least my life didn't revolve around Kamina!"

"Yaaaaay! She's on our side now!" Ruby cheered, before faltering slightly. "I think. I dunno. Hazy feels and all."

"And secondly, if she tried that on the real me, I would Giga Drill Break the f-"

"Ahem, _Blake-_" Weiss interrupted her. Blake sighed irritably.

"Fine. I would beat her face in. With a giant drill made from Aura. Without cursing. Are you happy, Bossyboots?"

"Very." Weiss responded shortly.

"And that's the end of that arc." Yang shrugged. "Okay, onto the next arc!" Changing the chapter, the girls read the chapter from top to bottom.

"...a maid cafe?" Blake mused. "Hm. I think I RECOGNIZE this one, as well."  
Yang snorted, giggling. "Moe vampire maids...now I've seen everything."

Weiss glared at her. "At least this author depicts you as the pervert you are."

"Aaaaand proud of it!"

"Straight as a board..." Blake laughed, sighing. "I still remember when we made jokes about Weiss being 'straight as a board'..."  
"In fairness, in a world that's apparently populated by ninety percent girls, yuri ships abound." Yang shrugged. "It's just the reality of things."

"Mina's such a troll..." The catgirl chuckled. "That settles it. When I can, I am going to find this Mina girl and invite her over for tea with us.

This needs to happen."

"Take care not to drop crap in other universes like you did LAST time, Blake." Yang sighed. "Word on the street's that _apparently_ a certain Exalt's daughter's found that tome..."

"Bollocks, I totally forgot about that thing." Blake slapped her forehead with her palm, before shrugging.

"Eh. It's probably fine."

"The one who told me this was this charming redhead with the habit of placing her finger on her lip, like she was planning something..." Yang giggled. "Man, I love Anna."

"Annas are operating here?!" Blake looked at her in surprise. "Okay...I'd better find her. This is going to be good.

But first, fic reading!"

"Awww...poor Russell." Ruby said, having already started the chapter. "And he seems kinda nice, too. He's kinda like our Sky."

Weiss whistled. "And their Cardin just gave ours even more reason to beat his face in."

"Right. At least we dropped the White Fang thing." Blake shrugged. "Eh. This is kinda fluffy now. I like it."

"Pfft. I'm a better cuddler than her. And a kisser." Yang remarked. "WAAAAAAY better."

Ruby smiled. "Yang, you don't have to get so defensive."

"I'm not!"  
"Dust dammit, Mina's SUCH a pervert!" Weiss complained. "Swimsuit days, innuendos...she's worse than Yang. YANG."

"Ahahahahahah!" Yang shook her head, laughing and sighing, wiping a tear from her eye. "The only reason I'm not that bad is this fic's rated T and THAT one's an M rated fic."

"You mean you can get worse?!" Weiss stared at her in disbelief. Yang smiled mischievously.

"Would you like to _see_ how bad~"  
"NO!"

"You've got a point there." Blake laughed. "Definitely. And the fact that she's not even caring about that, or..." She pointed at the screen. "Her measurements being publicly printed..."  
"She's obsessed with Blake, I'll give you that." Yang stated. "I think she's probably worse than Velvet."

"Nachtshatten, hm?" Weiss chuckled. "Almost as she was made for you, too. And it almost sounds like her life's a Rammstein song."

"That WOULD make a lot of sense." Yang nodded in agreement, before sighing.

"Oh, Cardin...your douchey counterparts make me laugh.

Seriously, there's bullying a dragon, and then there's taunting an ex-terrorist- no offense, Blake."

Blake shrugged. "Hey, _I _called her an ex-terrorist. Do you think I really think that the White Fang are anything? Heck, considering they're reduced to a flopping metal band called, I think, At The Train, or something- Adam's crappy at anything that doesn't involve swordfighting- I don't think ex-terrorist is even accurate anymore."

"Okay." Weiss breathed in. "Well, at least we know next chapter's going to be very, very awkward for him."  
"Indeed." Blake noted.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Chapters covered: 16/70**

**A/N: And yes, I will now have a chapter timer anytime I do a fanfic reaction. This is to make sure I can keep track and so you guys know where I'm at- being that we don't use too much of the actual story's quotes for several good reasons, it'll be hard to keep up, I decided to implement that.**

**And I just realised I have...about 54 chapters to go. Crap.**

**Well, at least next time should get them all out of the way. Right? Right?**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, leave your suggestions, comments, reviews, criticisms, thoughts and ideas and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	10. Special Chapter: We Were Close, Part 2!

**Blake Reacts to We Were Close, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! We're continuing this craziness! Hopefully we can cover 54 chapters in the time we have, accounting for procrastination, fawning over my (half-joking) waifus, and so on...eh. It'll be fine. Hopefully. I dunno. I've got this down to a science! I think!**

**Aaaaanyway. Another thanks for our good friend Half-Blind Otaku-sempai, who allowed us the pleasure of writing such a chapter! If you guys decide to go read it after this- which you should, it's far better than Weiss Reacts- be sure to tell him where you heard of it from! Although, judging from the fact that he writes the Reactsverse WITH me, it'd be kinda hard for people not to have heard of him if you're a regular fan of my fics...**

***ahem* Well, let's get this stuff out of the way! **

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise I'd have more hilarious disclaimers to give (I'm obligated to, he loves his hilarious disclaimers).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**We Were Close belongs to Half-Blind Otaku.**

* * *

"Yep." Blake chuckled, popping a piece of toffee popcorn into her mouth. "Cardin gets almost murdered for the second time in a row for attempting to blackmail a freaking ex-terrorist vampire."

Weiss scratched her head. "Er, Blake, where'd you get that? I only looked away from you for three seconds and then you had a box of those."  
"Something something Spiral Power, something something fourth wall breaking, something something Tidal Wave." Blake shrugged. "There, Vesperia reference completed."

"Hehehe, this Cardin wouldn't survive in our Beacon!" Yang chuckled. "Velvet's obviously got a massive axe and her yandere tendencies, Blakey here's manlier than half the men here, and I think that one triceratops Faunus wouldn't appreciate being insulted for being a Faunus..."

"Not to mention him being punched by OUR Cardin." Blake said, her mouth full of popcorn. "He'd also get zerg-rushed, too."

"Okay, next chapter, ladies!" Yang announced. "I smell fanservice!"

"It's a beach episode." Weiss grumbled. "Definitely perverted."

Blake blushed slightly as she read the chapter. "...aaaaand of course Mina is incredibly lewd as usual."  
"Can you allow me the honors?" Weiss pleaded. "Please? I've been dying to call some other idiot out for being a pervert apart from Yang."

Blake sighed, gesturing towards the screen. "Go ahead."

"T-this vampire is a tawdry pervert who needs to control her perversion! Moron! She reminds me of Yang when she demands Jaune slather her in sun lotion! S-stupid moron!"

"Okay, well, we got Weiss' righteous outrage out of the way. Now, onto the next chapter! Which I think will involve someone- and by someone I mean Mina- getting drunk. The title gives it away." The brawler declared loudly, before changing the chapter.

"Well, whaddya know, she DOES get drunk!" Blake laughed. "Aaaand that ended fairly...badly, actually."  
"Ruby, if you get drunk, I will end you." Yang smiled cheerily. "I don't care if you're old enough to, I will end you. Okay?"

The reaper gulped. "S-sure, s-sis. No problem."

"No need to worry. I won't get drunk, unlike a certain couple of girls on Melanie's birthday-"  
"In my defence, you guys didn't listen to me telling you that the thing had no alcohol in it! Then again, we met Rise, so it was all worth." Yang shrugged.

Weiss grumbled. "Suuuure meeting Rise was the thing that made the night worth, and not, say, having half the people we know making fools of themselves..."

"Oooh, ooh! Next chapter!" Ruby flailed in the air. "I want to see how this arc ends!"  
"Yeah, yeah, Ruby, we all do." Weiss sighed. "Honestly, you can be so impatient."

"I'm high on sugar right now!" The reaper squeaked out. "I'm so excited! And I don't know why!"

The heiress frowned as she read the next chapter. "Once more, I am reminded of my grandfather. And I am enthused by the mental image of my father punching my counterpart's father in the face for not showing his child enough love."

"Speaking of children...d'you guys know where Elsa is?" Yang inquired. "I haven't seen her in, like, ten chapters."  
"Elsa's on leave with mother." Weiss stated. "Mother wants her to meet my real sister, Winter."

"That's so sweet!" The brawler giggled. "Your parents barely know her and they're treating her like their own child..."  
"As far as they're concerned, she IS their own child. That and Siegfried finds the concept that he now has two of me, and one is a shrinking violet bookworm, hilarious." Weiss stated, with not a tiny hint of pride in her voice.

"This Mina girl..." Blake frowned. "She LACKS MANLINESS!" She smacked the desk with her fist, roaring loudly. "She's got to gain a backbone later or she'll be worse than Shinji! SHINJI!"

"Oh, relax, Blake. It's the twentieth chapter of seventy. She'll probably get manlier eventually." Yang shrugged. "Just wait."

"Fine...but I am still disappointed in my other self for falling in love with this clearly unworthy unmanly vampire girl." The catgirl frowned. "Stupid other worlds not being manly..."

Weiss looked aside, shaking her head. "Here's to hoping she never finds this Mina girl with that blasted Lagann. She'll either ask her out on a date or punch her in the face for not being manly enough."

Ruby snorted. "For some reason, it's hilarious when Blake punches someone in the face for not being manly enough. Mainly because she goes all hammy..."

"The TRUE way to manliness is through hamminess! And occasional rousing speeches spoken from the cockpit of a universe-wide humongous mecha!" Blake declared proudly. "We should know this, we've done it before! Now, for more fanservice!" She moved to the next chapter.

Yang snorted, giggling mischievously. "Oh, Blake _does_ have a rack..."

The catgirl blushed, shaking her head. "D-don't talk about my chest like that!"

"But why?" The brawler winked at her. "I know from first-hand experience-"  
"D-don't remind me of the camping trip!" Blake covered her human ears and shook her head rigorously. "N-no!"  
Weiss glared at her teammate. "Really, Yang, do you have to be so perverted?!"  
"All part of the package~" She gave Weiss a thumbs up. "Although...daaaaamn, that crazy girl's coming onto Blake hard."  
"We should do a drinking game!" Yang cheered, before realising the heiress was glaring at her.

"I-I mean with strawberry jelly shots!"

"Better be, Yang."

"Every time Mina hits on Blake, we take a shot." Yang suggested. "Every time they come close to, you know, justifying the M rating, take two shots."

Weiss nodded. "Sounds fair. And I'M making the shots. Just so you don't _accidentally_ lace it with alcohol. Or pull off your reverse-psychology nonsense that got everyone 'drunk' the LAST time we let you prepare our drinks."

Yang pouted, crossing her arms. "Y-you're boring!"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

The girls had managed to read the next four chapters, consisting of Mina and Blake's date and the aftermath- including the _very_ interesting dream and the reality behind it. On the desk lay a pile of plastic cups, drained of the jelly within them, from the impromptu drinking game.

Weiss groaned, patting her belly. "Ugh...scratch that game, this Mina girl is a stupid pervert and we won't survive if we do this..."

Ruby choked out a half-sob, half-groan, lying splayed out on her cookie beanbag. "Me too...I-I'm stuffed with jelly..."

Yang and Blake, in contrast, seemed impervious to the jelly. The former smirked.

"Maaan, Blake. You have a VERY lewd imagination-"  
"S-shush!" The catgirl's cheeks rouged. "D-do you mind?!"  
"You're just so cute to tease!" Yang giggled, smiling at her partner.

"C-confound it, Yang..." Blake muttered. "...and did Clara honestly expect not to be hit on by you?"  
"You know me too well!" Yang winked at her cheekily. "I have to admit, though, me and this Yang have got to get together.

Who knows what shenanigans we might get up to together~"  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Don't remind me of that time when those moronic counterparts of ours from that other world came in. We found you making out with your other self!"  
"And that was totally _worth it_!"

"Sometimes, I think this author's taking scenes straight out of the Ninjas of Love novel..." Blake mumbled, blushing.

Ruby pointed upwards at the sky, now recovered from her jelly-induced indisposition. "Alright, now we must continue to the next chapter!"

"Okay..." Weiss grunted, pulling herself up. "But...I move that we do not continue this drinking game, for our own...health..." She groaned as she felt her belly twinge in pain.

Yang pouted, but relented. "Fine...only because you look like you actually might hurt yourself."

"Good Oum, you have _mercy_ somewhere in there..." Weiss remarked drily.

Blake tapped her finger on the desk. "It looks as though the next couple of chapters are also an arc. Think we better read them all, hm?"  
"Eh. Personally, I think we might be running out of air time, so I'll roll with it." Yang shrugged.

Weiss scratched her head. "Yang, we're not in a TV show."  
"I know, but Elf's cutting it a bit close to the deadline, the lazy git, so I have to roll with it."

"Damn idiot writer..." Blake muttered.

_Minutes later, again..._

Yang snickered, before breaking out into a full out bout of laughter.

"I-I can't believe you guys actually did THAT in class! I mean, I know I'M lewd, but come on!"

Weiss facepalmed. "It's official. I am the least perverted person on this team."

"Note the 'least' there and the lack of 'the only non-perverted' in that sentence." Yang mischievously noted.

"I-It's your fault for influencing me, y-you stupid deviant! If you hadn't influenced me with your stupid pervert mind, m-maybe I wouldn't be like this!"  
Yang smiled cheerily. "Oh, Weiss! I was only your magic feather! You had your perversion in you all along!"

"D-don't make up lies, Yang! I-I wasn't this big of a pervert!"  
"So you admit to being a pervert?"  
"T-that's not what I said, you dolt!"

Blake's face was completely red as she hid her face in her arms, mumbling to herself in shame and shock.

"I-I...I did that...t-that...no...Glynda..."

Ruby was the only one not currently occupied with anything. She continued reading the screen, chuckling.

"Oh, Mina...you may be a yandere with almost no social skills and an unhealthy obsession with our Blake, but we love you."

"Alright, enough bantering." Yang sighed. "Besides, Weiss, you know you can't beat me."  
"I've beaten you before!" Weiss protested.  
"With luck and help. I'm too awesome anyway~" Yang smirked. "And we've got to read more this hilariously lewd fic."

"It r-reminds me of Ninjas of Love at times..." Blake, finally recovered from her semi-comatose embarrassed state, whispered. "Seriously, Mina could fill the fanservice quota for any series five times over..."

"I know I'd hit it." Yang stated bluntly. "But sadly she'd only have eyes for Blakey~"  
"Let's read the chapter already, if you're not going to acknowledge that I won this round!" Weiss grumbled.

"Okay, miss Bossyboots~" The brawler obliged, giggling.

"...oh, I can't look at this..." Blake shook her head. "T-this is just too embarrassing!"  
"That's hardly manly~" Yang teased her.

"S-shush! Y-you try reading a fic-"  
"Already have and I love it when people put me in lewd situations." Yang finished for her. "Although the fact that you'd share a room with her like that and NOT immediately think of tapping the sexy vampire Faunus is kinda cute...and manly in itself, I guess."

"A-As it should be!" Blake declared, jumping on the opportunity. "Only a REAL man would be able to do such a thing!"

Weiss rubbed her temple, sighing. "Can I go join a team with a less charged atmosphere?"  
"I am hurt you'd want to join any other team!" Yang stated mockingly, pretending to be offended. "Are we not enough for you?"  
"You're too much for me, thanks."

* * *

_After the girls finished reading the CRDL rescue arc..._

"Awwww...Cardin does have a heart." Yang giggled. "That's sweet."  
"Pfft, Torchwick's such a pansy, using a crappy flashbang to run away..." Blake muttered. "What a coward..."  
"At least everything turned out well and Cardin isn't too much of a scumbag here." Ruby noted happily. "He has hope!"

"Still think our Cardin beats the socks off of his any day." Weiss mused. "By dint of not being a bigot, of course."

Yang giggled. "Of course, Mina's recovery is also adorable as all heck..."

"Okay, guys." Blake shrugged. "Onto the next arc!"

"Yaaaaay!" Ruby cheered. "More arcs!"

...

"Okay, spa trip after Weiss became a waitress for a while." Yang giggled. "And dated Sun~"  
"T-this arc was stupid!" Weiss complained. "I vote Blake suffer more!"  
Blake grinned mischievously. "Oh, Weiss. I've been suffering for the last two chapters, now it's your turn!"

"The fic IS named after you after all. We've got to make you suffer." Yang shrugged. "And we're all in this together~"  
"You're just saying that because you benefit from the rest of us three being embarrassed, moron."

Ruby shrugged. "Hey, I'm not embarrassed at all."

"Dammit! I just remembered, Ruby barely shows up in this fic!" Yang grumbled. "Dammit..."  
"Hah! She gets to escape!"  
"Oh, right, she draws yuri smut of everyone, never mind."  
"WHAT?!" Ruby blushed. "N-no! I-I don't...I..."

"Success!"  
"DAMN YOU XIAO LONG"

...

"Soooo...Cardin trying to explain how babies are made, two almost-lemons with Blake and Mina..." Yang counted.

"One being about Blake's birthday." Ruby corrected her.

"Oh, yeah, what are we doing for that?" Yang inquired. Blake shrugged.

"Eh. I'm sure I'll decide in a couple of chapters or something. Or Elf will."

"It almost seems too quiet..." Weiss mused. "Do you think he's going back to plot soon?"  
"He'd better. Three lemons, man. Or almost lemons. Either way!" Yang whistled. "He's probably got some serious hook coming."

Blake sighed. "I'm still not manly enough in this story..."

...

"Oh, this Nadia girl NEEDS to be punched in the face." Blake declared vehemently, having read most of the chapters introducing the White Fang member. "She doesn't just look like she needs it, she NEEDS one.

Honestly, she should take a damn hint. If I leave her damn movement because I surprisingly DON'T want to horribly murder people for the sake of Faunus rights, then TAKE A HINT!"

"Seems Mina had the same thought, only with more _you_ involved." Yang shrugged. "Eh."

Ruby nodded in assent. "Yeah. If she came here, you'd stomp her, right?"  
"Pfft...me, being entitled to fight for the Faunus...I'm more entitled to fight for the protection of EVERYONE in Vale, dammit." The catgirl scoffed. "You'd think the White Fang would be more concentrated on trying to stop the Grimm, seeing as it won't matter if the Faunus get rights if we all get killed by shadow monster things..."

Weiss sighed, closing her eyes. "This story brings up memories of Grandfather...memories which I realise are pointless when the White Fang are a metal band now."

"I'm telling you, Adam needs to find a different hobby!" Blake threw her hands up in irritation. "The only way his stupid band's going to get noticed is if we mistake them for some more famous band with ATT as their initials or something."

"Chekhov's Gag, here we go!" Yang whooped.

Weiss stared at her. "What?"  
"Nothing!"

* * *

"Daaaaaaamn, things got serious there." Blake whistled. "Although that was a bit of a shaggy dog story, what with Clara not being there anyway..."  
"At least Nadia died. Good riddance." Yang scoffed. "Good. That...err, Weiss, permission to insult her?"  
"...fine." Weiss gave her a very guarded look. "Just this once."  
"Good." Yang grinned.

"That _bitch_ needed to go."

Ruby kicked back and relaxed. "At least we got a part in that chapter."  
"Even if I DID save all of you. Ungrateful..." The heiress muttered.

"Eh. Worth. My hair's safe, Nadia died, everyone turned out fine!"

"I don't think Nadia's dead..." Blake mused. "Never found the body."  
"True, that. I have a BAD feeling about this one..." The brawler shuddered, but continued reading.

...

Weiss laughed. "I'm actually IN this story!"

"Of course, you're on the character list, are you not?" Yang reminded her cheerily.

"Heh. Well. At least they get my perfection correct, I'll give you that." The heiress said smugly.

Blake chuckled. "Seeing this fluff is adorable...but then knowing that that Nadia person's still around kinda darkens it."  
"What's he up to, anyway?" Ruby inquired. "I'm guessing this'll all build up to a big wham episode, if you know what I mean."  
"Probably." Weiss shrugged. "We'll see. I still like the nice treatment I get for once. I'm not exaggerated, bashed on, OR made to look stupid!

I actually LIKE this author! Even if he is a bit of a pervert."

"Yeah, with all those nice, vivid descriptions of what Mina and Blake like doing to each other..." Yang winked at her teammate, causing the latter to flush.

"Y-you stop that..."

...

All of the girls looked at the screen in surprise. Blake's mouth hung slightly open, while Ruby and Weiss' eyes were wide. Yang was just frowning.

"Damn." Yang sighed. "Just...daaaaamn. I think I haven't had the urge to horribly maul a fictional character so badly ever since I met Kyubey."

"...I can just SMELL the horrible beating she's going to get when we inevitably catch up to her..." Blake muttered. "Seriously, dammit, Nadia."

"On the plus side, I do enjoy the mythological references." Weiss mused. "Very interesting.

I guess her name makes sense now."

"Welp. Here comes an entire arc about Mina getting her memories back..." Yang noted. "This ought to be nice and angsty..."

...

"All say it with me!" Yang cried to her teammates. "D'aaaawwww..."  
"Man...I forgot Mina couldn't actually see me..." Blake sniffled. "...that's just...I have to cry manly tears! Or rather...the one manly tear. I can't be seen breaking up in to tears! That would be unmanly!"  
"At least all's well that ends well." Ruby said, smiling.

Weiss sighed, shrugging. "Yeah, I suppose. And now that we finished this fic for the time being, review?"  
"You bet." Blake nodded.

* * *

From: **NightshadeNinjacat of Giha**

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for this awesome fic about me. I loved Mina like my story self did; really, I wish I could actually meet her. I think she's one of the only OCs in this section I like, and as I've fought a LOT of crappy ones, I should know about those things.

-Blake B.

P.S: Make me more manly dammit

* * *

Ruby kicked back on her beanbag, sighing contentedly. "Well...not much to do now, huh?"  
Yang lay her head back on her hands. "Yep."  
"Definitely." Blake said, favouriting and following the fic.

"Nothing at all." Weiss mused.

Barely a minute passed before Yang sighed loudly.

"THE LACK OF ANTICS IS BORING ME!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Chapter count: 70/70 (complete)**

**A/N: I just...I did it. I finished We Were Close in two chapters. I feel...awesome. I can't believe it, I did it, I FREAKING did it! Yeah! Woo! Go me!**

**A HUGE shout-out to Half-Blind Otaku for his awesome contribution to the fanfiction world and for letting me write about said contribution! And also, screw you because your fic was so long ;-;**

**On a serious note, next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Munchkin! Which, if any of you are not aware, is a particularly hilarious board game which I will be explaining more about next chapter!**

**So, I hope you guys enjoyed that, leave your ideas, thoughts, suggestions, comments, ideas, reviews and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	11. Weiss Reacts to Munchkin!

**Weiss Reacts to Munchkin!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, we're going to have a slightly...weird chapter today. We're not going to be going with a fanfic, original story, or a video game reaction today; rather, we'll be talking about a tabletop game called 'Munchkin'. For those not in the know, it's a hilarious parody of tabletop games like DnD and Call of Cthulhu, as well as other things in general, it's absolutely brilliant, and I think more people I know should play it. I know I need to, too.**

**Also, for those more interested on the fanfic side of things, Emergence will be featured fairly soon (within the next ten chapters) and I-w-what? You mean I can't spoil THAT either? Damn you.**

**Okay, well, let's get this chapter on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more RWBY dakimakura, only with Ursa and Beowolves instead of the girls (AoT fans, feel free to giggle at that reference).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Munchkin belongs to Steve Jackson Games.**

* * *

Yang sighed. "I'm boooooored!" She yawned and crossed her arms, pouting. "Someone do something!"  
"Maybe we'd have the _mecha club_ to go too if you actually got up and told the Student Council about it already!" Blake grumbled.

"Ren's sick again." Yang reminded her. "I know. I overheard Nora trying to feed Ren chicken soup when I went to the council room."

"And of course the vice HAS to be a sane person..." Blake rolled her eyes. "Dammit. We'll have to wait for him to get better..."  
"Good." Weiss smiled smugly. "It'll be one more day of peace before you people start blowing things up with giant robots."  
Ruby shrugged. "I dunno, Weiss. Blowing things up with giant robots sounds cool."

"On the plus side, I got the kinks worked out of the Sakuradite generators." Blake stated to Yang. "I've managed to get it to work so it won't blow a fuse if we do anything apart from move. Having said that, at least it's a far better source than the generator-slash-Spiral drive hybrid and Aura detectors I have the Gurren Lagann and Nirvash running on, considering what with Schnee funding, I have enough money to buy Sakuradite. I've also recreated the energy fillers for-"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, we can recreate the Black Knights." Yang waved her off, before grabbing her by the collar and staring into her eyes insanely.

"But can we do something FUN?! I'm begging you, I'm DYING here! DYING!"

Ruby raised a finger. "We could watch Lagrange!"  
"Nah, with our luck, the REAL Jersey Club might drop in on us while we're watching it." Blake shook her head. "Next?"  
Yang smirked. "Puella Magi?"

"No." Blake bluntly cut her off.

"Or we can play that card game you two have under the bed that you never play." Weiss suggested. "What was it, Munchykins?"  
Blake and Yang simultaneously snapped their fingers. "Munchkin!"

"Of course." The brawler giggled. "That's the perfect game. A parody game for a parody fic, hm?"  
"Good idea." Blake answered, nodding. "It'll help me relax from finally getting those damn things to work at any rate..."

Ruby cheered. "Yay! Awesome stuff! Wait, it's for six players, right?"  
"Hm. Point taken." Yang nodded. "We might have to drag a couple in here to play..."

Weiss sighed. "Please, tell me this game isn't complicated. I don't know how to play it. Never saw a point in playing games like this except chess."  
"Which I totally thrash you in~" Yang giggled.

"S-shut up! That t-time was luck!"  
"Please, any chess _amateur_ could see your opening and check you easily." The brawler retorted. "I'm too awesome to lose to someone so easy anyway~"  
Blake nodded. "Yep, it's settled. We're playing Munchkin.

Oh, but one thing. It's my game, so we're playing by my house rules."

Weiss looked suspiciously at her. "What do you mean by that?"  
"There isn't anything...too unfair in them. Just some balancing to do." Blake casually stated. "Some stuff to make it more fun."  
"I'm already suspicious..." Weiss grumbled.

* * *

_Several minutes later..._

Minako and Penny sat in the dorm, watching Blake set up the cards and the board- which was unneeded but looked cool and helped them keep track of the game's progress anyway- on the floor between bunks.

"Are you friends with Friend Ruby and Weiss?" Penny asked Minako energetically. The girl nodded.

"Uh...yeah. Not too close, but we're friends."

"Sal-u-tations!" Penny saluted her. "I'm Penny! I'd like to be your friend too!"  
"Uh-"  
The gynoid gave her a hug. "I will take that as an affirmative, Friend! May I ask your name?"  
"Minako?" She sounded confused.

'_Dammit, big bro never had it this weird. Or maybe she just really likes me already...'_

"Okay, Friend Mina!" Penny cheered, causing Blake, who was holding a drink in her hands, to nearly spit her drink out and stare at her in surprise.

"Uh..." Minako laughed. "It's Mina_ko_..."

"Okay, Friend Minato!"

"...sure, let's go with that."

Yang giggled. "Ah, Penny. Now I know why we invited you!"

"Where was everyone else?" Weiss inquired. "Why did we have to invite Penny?"  
"Well, Jaune's currently off helping Cardin with his Huntsmanship assignment, Pyrrha's...gone somewhere, I know it isn't stalking Jaune, else my cameras would be telling me..." Yang said, listing down most of their friends. "Velvet's being Velvet and being creepy somewhere, we know about Nora and Ren, most of the Arc sisters are off doing their own thing, Euphie's lost in the library again, and Elsa's sleeping off her day with your mom, Weiss.

And of course Elf wanted to show everyone he didn't forget Penny. And nobody likes Sun or Neptune, so we'll go with that."

"Riiiight." Weiss looked at her strangely. "Okay, Blake. How do we play this thing?"

"It's really simple." The catgirl cleared her throat, before whistling. Norn dropped from the ceiling, causing Weiss to jump slightly.

"W-where'd YOU come from?"

"As requested, Miss Belladonna." The Persocom presented her with a scroll, while holding a cup of tea in her hands.

"Thank you, Norn. How are you drinking tea, anyway?"  
Norn blinked, her face remaining flat and stoic. "The Life Dust granted me sentience and other things, including the ability to taste. This tea is utterly delicious."

"I see you've been indulging yourself." Yang giggled.

"If you must excuse me..." Norn said flatly. "I must return to my team dorm to have tea with Neptune and Sir Lyserg."

"Go ahead." Blake nodded briefly to her, and Weiss watched her jump back into the vent she climbed into the room from and disappear off without a sound.

Minako looked on in awe, her mouth slightly ajar. "Whoa...I want a Persocom like that..."

"As a combat gynoid, I can guarantee you, Friend Minami, that I am better combat prepared than her!" Penny said cheerily. "

"Did Penny just get...jealous?" Weiss blinked confusedly.

"...I need to get you to say hi to a friend of mine, called Aigis." Minako chuckled. "I think you two might like each other."

Blake cleared her throat loudly. "Okay! Ladies, more ladies, and Weiss!"  
"Hey!" The heiress glared at her.

"Time to announce the basic rules of the glorious manly game of Munchkin!" Blake declared proudly.

"Firstly, the first person to get to level 10 wins!" The catgirl pronounced.

"Secondly, one can only gain levels from a card, a card's effect, or the killing of a monster! Thirdly, the game is to be played in turns with two phases- one turn drawing a card from the 'door' pile and taking its effects, whether it be a monster or a curse, the second taking a card from the loot pile should the monster be killed!

Fourthly, if one dies, they are dead! Gone! Kaput! All their stuff is distributed towards everyone else, and they must start from level 1! Oh, and anything else on their character, like any races and classes acquired, that's gone too!

Everything else should be self-apparent!"

Weiss nodded assuredly, taking a player card and a player piece- it was a small, big-nosed man with a horned helmet, a massive hammer strapped to his back and a chainsaw. She chuckled at their appearance.

"Alright. I will take the blue piece and the blue player card, as blue is clearly superior to all other colors!"

"I call green." Blake shrugged. "Because spirals. "

"Red!" Ruby waved her hand.

Yang plucked her card from the pile. "Yellow."

"I guess I'll take purple, then." Minako shrugged.

"Orange it is!" Penny yelled.

"Okay, well, the game is now in session!" Blake then produced two dice, with the one face being embossed with the face of the player piece instead of a single dot.

"Roll for turn order."

"...a two?!" Weiss complained. "Seriously?!"  
"I got a twelve." Yang smirked. "Guess I go first."  
"Six here." Ruby munched on a cookie.

"Seven." Minako waved her dice around.

Blake and Penny both acquired an eight and a three respectively. Blake nodded, handing out five cards to everyone.

"These should be a fair split from both decks."

All six players took a look at their cards. Yang chuckled with barely-suppressed glee.

"Yes...yes...YES!"

"Huh." Ruby nodded. "Not bad."

Weiss looked around at her opponents, before looking at her own cards.

'_Hm...'_ She thought carefully. _'A warrior class card, with a Swiss Army Polearm...this looks interesting._

_And a hireling minion. Perfect._'

"Right!" Yang said confidently. "Well! I'll place down my dwarf card and my warrior class card, and then use THIS nice card..." She held up a card labelled 'Fold, Spindle and Mutilate'. "...to go up to level two, before I play my nice Eleven Foot Pole. Okay, so I'll kick down the door and...

...sweet, a Potted Plant." The brawler chuckled.

Weiss stared at her. "Seriously? That's a MONSTER?!"

"Of course!" Yang chuckled. "Parody game."

"T-that's hardly fair! How come YOU get such an easy monster?!"

"Luck of the draw." Yang winked at her, before easily beating the plant. "Okay, now that I beat it, I go up a level and get treasure...which means..." She plucked a card from the treasure pile. "Hah, sweet, a level up card. So I went up TWO levels! I'm level four!"

Weiss grumbled. "This is absurd! Her stupid luck is ridiculous!"

"My turn." Blake declared, playing her own dwarf and cleric cards, setting down a large mallet card. "Okay, so Durkon kicks down the door and sees an undead horse. I'm a cleric with a large mallet, so I discard my rat stick to gain another bonus. I kill it."

"Wait!" Yang interrupted her. "It gets a bonus against dwarves!"

"I play the baby card to take that pathetic bonus away! Nobody can beat my manly dwarf!"

"Touché, Belladonna..." Yang grumbled as Blake killed the monster, moved her piece up a level and took a treasure.

"Okay, sweet. A Hoard card, which means two more!" Blake pulled out two more cards from the treasure pile.

"Hah...oh, Kamina-sama, you look down gladly on me today!"

Minako raised a finger. "I guess it's my turn then. Kick down the door and..."

Slowly, the next couple of turns went without incident, as Ruby, Minako and Penny went through their turns without intervention from Blake and Yang.

Finally, Weiss sighed. "Good grief, it's my turn. Right, I kick down the door..." She drew a card, looking at it.

"...you're joking. A curse that makes me unable to fight the undead?!"

"Eh, at least you can loot the room." Blake shrugged. "Go ahead."

"Bah...this is irritating..." The heiress grumbled as she rooted around the pile for treasure. "...hmph." She placed down a pair of 'Boots of Butt-Kicking'. "How uneventful."

"Okay, my turn, MY TURN!" Yang cheered. "Kick down the door, see a drooling slime, kill it instantly, gain a level, gain the treasure..." The brawler laughed. "And a nice merry haul of 'flaming armor'!"

Blake scoffed. "My turn. Kick down the door, fight the lawyer, kill him, take a level, take two treasures..."  
Weiss facepalmed. "I cannot believe this game has a _lawyer_ monster..."  
"Like we said, Weiss, parody." Blake grinned. "Also, he's got a merry haul, alright..." She giggled, presenting two level up cards.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

"Level five, right next to Yang." Blake smirked. "Your move, Minako."

"Okay. Err, kick down the door...oh, dammit, a pterodactyl." She sighed, looking somewhat regrettably at her halfling race card. "Damn racial bonuses...pass the die, I'll roll."

Weiss did so, watching her roll. Luckily for the girl, she rolled high enough to escape.

Ruby's turn went without incident. She quietly beat the monster she was given and smiled at the hoard, nodding at Penny to move.

"Okay, Friend Ruby! I shall kick this door down with much happiness!" Penny plucked a card from the pile. "It confuses me why it's called 'kicking down the door' but I digress!

I get a monster modifier...interesting...and now to loot the room!" She took a card from the other pile, studying it briefly and looking over to Weiss.

"Now, Friend Weiss!"

Weiss chuckled as she drew a card. "Okay. Phew, a mere tiny germ creature. This will be-"

Suddenly, Yang placed down two cards on it. "You see that level three thing? Yeah, it's level thirteen now."  
"WHAT?!" The heiress stared at the two cards her opponent had placed.

"Don't worry, Weiss! I'll come to the rescue! Polymorph Potion!" Ruby slammed down her own card, dispelling the monster entirely. She smiled happily at her girlfriend.

"I've got your back! You can even take the treasure~"  
"Tch. Screw you, Yang. Thank Dust for Ruby..." Weiss glared at the brawler.

"Dammit, Rubes!" Yang pouted. "For a moment, I thought I nearly made Weiss ragequit..."

"I am not so easy to beat, Xiao Long!" Weiss declared. "Just you wait, I'll get you back soon enough..."

'_Soon enough, Yang. Your comeuppance will come!'_

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

By this time, most of the players had managed to get up to Yang's level, thanks to her drawing only monster modifiers and curses, for the most part.

Weiss had managed to get pretty far up the level ladder- level eight, two levels from winning- and she was proud.

Yang pouted as she added yet another 'Undead' modifier to her hand. "Okay, Blakey, it's your turn..."

"I kick down the door and get the Bullrog!" Blake sighed. "Now, it may appear to be very strong, but wait, I have this nice blank card!" She held an indeed blank card up. "And, as we're playing by my rules...I declare this card to be a Core Drill! Which, according to my house rules, makes the card gain a plus 10 bonus if the monster is more than ten levels above me."

"T-that's unfair!" Weiss grumbled. "What kind of fair card is that?! Y-you and your stupid anime obsessions, you moron!"

"Touché." Yang scoffed. "But wait until I play THIS card on you!" She slammed down a curse card. "Goodbye to your Core Drill. I play the curse that you lose-"  
"Wishing Ring. No curse."  
"Damn you." The brawler frowned as she removed the card. "You're boring!"

Ruby shrugged and whistled, playing adding on a modifier to the monster.  
"W-oh, you're joking." Blake grumbled. "You just...negated my Core Drill bonus."  
"It's now a baby monster~" The reaper smirked. "Aaaaand...you're just underleveled enough not to fight it."

Blake scowled as she rolled the dice to get away. "I'll get you for that, Ruby..."

Yang leaned in. "Actually, I have an idea..." She whispered into Blake's ear, causing Weiss to get suspicious.

"This sounds like a stupid antic's about to happen..."

Penny shrugged, looking fairly carefree. "Don't worry, this game is almost an assured victory! My character is combat ready!"

Minako drew a card for her turn. "Oh...really, _Ghoul_friends?"  
Weiss blanched. "That is a _terrible_ pun and the person who made it should be disappointed in themselves.

"Eh...I'll beat it." Minako shrugged. "Nothing...bad? No? Okay. Treasure time-"  
"Trojan Horse." Blake declared, slamming down the aforementioned card and then a monster called the 'Hydrant'.

"Oh, allow me to play this other thing on you too. Malign Mirror! No equipment for you now!"

Minako pouted. "Really?"

"Yep. Have fun-"  
"Polymorph Potion."

"REALLY?!" The catgirl looked on in disbelief as the brunette discarded both cards Blake had thrown at her and claimed her treasure.

"I'm just too awesome for you~"

"Y-you..."

Penny played her turn without incident.

Then, finally, it was Weiss' turn. She smirked as she drew her card, a monster called a Frost Giant.

Worth two levels, considering it was easy for her to beat, she could easily win the game AND get her own back at Yang.

"I will win now! How do you feel, Xiao Long? To be beaten by me!" Weiss declared smugly.

Suddenly, Blake and Yang flooded her with cards. Suddenly, Weiss was facing a Plutonium Dragon and 3,652 Orcs, with the former with its child and undead, and the latter cloned and similarly undead. Weiss blanched.

"It's fine! I can escape this! I play Loaded Die-"

"I play a small items curse. No Loaded Die for you~" Yang winked.

"Y-you!" Weiss glared at her. "Fine! Then I shall play my instant wa-"  
"I play MY small items curse." Blake grinned. "Nothing for you."  
"S-stop! You idiot!"

Minako, Penny, and Ruby chimed in. "We'll help you!"

"Thank you!" Weiss sighed. "Now I might actually have a chance of winning this fig-"  
"I curse Minako to lose a level, Ruby to lose her class AND a level, and Penny is now cursed with necrophobia, forcing her to run away." Yang chuckled, presenting the relevant cards. "Oh, and I kill your hireling."

"Which, coincidentally, means Weiss here can't fight these monsters. Run away~"

Weiss just stared at the change in her circumstances in shock, before shaking her head and standing up.

"Screw this! Y-you people are idiots!" She picked up her bolero jacket and stormed out.

Yang and Blake hi-fived, grinning.

"That's teamwork."

"Yep, Blakey~" The brawler laughed. "We did indeed."

Minako sighed. "You guys...that wasn't nice."  
"It's Munchkin, Minako. Its tagline says 'Stab your Buddy'." The catgirl shrugged. "I'm only following what it says~"

Penny frowned. "Maybe I should go after Friend Weiss..."

Yang chuckled. "No, she'll be fine. She's a big girl, she can handle losing.

So, guys, shall we finish this game?"

And so they did.

After a miraculous turn of events, Penny won.

Somehow.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: A nice, wacky, hilarious chapter to go PERFECTLY with the next one. The possibly long-awaited sequel to one of the more awesome chapters of Volume One...**

***drumroll* Blake and the Great Mecha Battle, Part 2! Yes. We're doing this. Points if you can guess who's going to show up in it!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, thoughts, suggestions, criticisms and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	12. Blake and the Great Mecha Battle 2 Pt1!

**Blake and the Great Mecha Battle: The Sequel!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Boy, we have some announcements for you today! Firstly, we're featuring the **_**legendary**_** trollfic author Cornjacob's work 'Nora kills a bunch of everybody' fairly soon! By, of course, having none other than Nora herself read it! That CAN'T be a bad idea, can't it? Huh? Guys? Why are you running? Guys?**

**Anyway, on to the main stuff of this chapter. Yes, the mecha battles. I'm sorry for anyone who expected, say, a Megadeus, the Mazinkaiser or, possibly a Gundam, but y'know, save the best for last. No, if you guys have been paying attention to absolutely everything, **_**you already know what this chapter's really about.**_** All I'm saying. Everything I write will be a Chekhov's Gun or a red herring.**

**So let's get this chapter out of the way and into the public before you guys get bored of me! Not that you haven't already if you've been following me this long. *shrug***

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise one of the Bullheads would be called 'the Iron Savior'. Props to you who gets the reference.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Starting today, the Mecha Club is now in session!" Blake announced, standing in front of a classroom door, with the rest of team RWBY, Ren and Nora gathered in front. Everyone except Weiss was wearing a blue sash with 'Mecha Pilot' embossed across the sash. Weiss crossed her arms, looking around.

"Why am _I _here?" She asked irritably.

"Because you two are the only ones who can pilot the Nirvash, by dint of you and Ruby being a couple." Blake said matter-of-factly, gesturing to her and Ruby, before shrugging.

"Well, Nora and Ren could, but Ren and I had an agreement, and Cardin and Melanie don't want to join in the fun, being boring people." She scoffed, before reading off the list. "Right...roll call!

Miss Xiao Long, Miss Rose, Miss Schnee, Miss Valkyrie and Mister Lie are here today..." She ticked off the list. "...Mister Ikari, Miss Ayanami, Miss Soryu and Mister Nagare are...not present. Eh."

Yang looked at her curiously. "Why do you have to be so formal?"

"Council rules." Ren rattled off in a rehearsed manner. "Also, Mister Nagare, did you say?"

"He goes by 'Batshit', apparently." Yang shrugged. "I dunno why."

"Riiiiight." Blake chuckled, as if recognizing an in-joke. "Okay, first order of business!"

"How did this club get approved, Ren?" Weiss inquired.

"Overwhelming majority of ten to one. The one being Neptune." Ren rolled his eyes. "He's a scumbag who wants to push his 'Tankery Club' or something.

Doesn't he know that's limited to girls anyway? Oh, wait. Neptune. Never mind."

"Now!" Blake cleared her throat. "Our inaugural meeting should be commemorated appropriately?"  
"With tea and cakes?" Weiss inquired hopefully.

Blake grinned, holding her thumb up at her. "Not a chance, Weiss!

Yang, let us away to the garage!" She pulled out her Core Drill and rushed off to the stairwell to the ground floor, with Yang heading behind her. Ruby, Nora and Ren followed suit, with Weiss staying behind for a moment.

"...am I getting to like these stupid antics?" She rapidly shook her head. "No...such a thing is _unthinkable_. I can't possibly be turning into Yang...

N-no! I just like flying robots! Like a normal person! Wait, no, that's not normal! I should...I'm just doing this as a favor for the team. That's it." The heiress nodded quickly, heading downstairs.

"Yes. That's it."

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later..._

The Gurren Lagann and Nirvash stood outside in the Forest of Forever Fall, waiting for Ren and Nora's mech to show up. The former was standing with its arms crossed, looking over the treeline to distant Vale, while the latter was standing with its ref board implanted firmly in the ground, gripping it tightly with one hand and the other on its hip.

Below them, the relatively miniscule Paladin, piloted by club advisor Cinder Fall, looked up.

"You guys waiting on someone?" She called through the comms.

"Ren. We're going to test out a new mech design of mine based on Dust power rather than Aura manipulation." Blake responded. "Right. Yang, run all Ganmen system checks."

"You got it!" The brawler giggled. "All Spiral systems in check! The fusion between Gurren and Lagann is in place! Spiral Energy is at one-hundred percent!"

"You alright over there, Rubes and Weissy?" Yang called over on the comms.

"Dust particle concentration is at one-hundred percent, all systems are a-go!"

"Energy fillers at maximum." Ren's voice suddenly popped onto the comm links.

"Ren?" Weiss tilted her head, before tapping the microphone. "What are you doing? Where are you?"

"En route. Landspinners are clear, slash harkens ready, chaff deployment ready, and..."

Weiss and Ruby could hear a whooshing sound over them.

"Air Glide System works perfectly!" Nora laughed.

Weiss looked up to the sky, to see a thin, lithe mecha, slightly shorter than both Gurren Lagann and Nirvash, with gold highlights and a red pack with four protrusions glowing red and large shoulder pauldrons. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Is that..."

Blake laughed. "Model Shinkiro Dust-Type is perfectly ready!"

"Factsphere Sensors are working!" Nora called from the comms. "Your wireless feed system works perfectly, Blake! I can see everything my Renny can from headquarters! Also, the Druid System should be working fine."

"Oh, come on!" Weiss scoffed. "T-that's stupid! HE gets the combat computer?!"

"Relax, Weiss." Yang chuckled. "We're still working out the kinks of the system. It's not perfect."

"It better not be, otherwise it renders the whole point of these fights useless..."

Blake laughed uproariously. "Or makes fights more fun!"

The Gurren Lagann cracked its knuckles as the Shinkiro made its way next to the Nirvash.

"Right!" Blake called over the comms. "This'll be a two on two fight! Myself, Yang and Professor Fall against Ren, Weiss and Ruby!"

"This'll be an easy fight." Weiss called over. "We'll beat you like we did last time!"

"You mean like we beat you last time." Blake retorted. "Bring it!"

The Gurren Lagann pointed its finger at them, as the Nirvash yanked out the ref board from the ground. The Shinkiro stretched out its arms, and the Atlesian Paladin assumed a combat stance, ready for battle.

"Commence battle!" Cinder announced.

* * *

With that, the fight began in earnest. The Gurren Lagann leapt at the Nirvash, drills appearing from its fist, which the Nirvash retaliated by batting away the fist with its ref board, before somersaulting in the air and backwards.

"Heheh, good one." Blake chuckled. "You're better than I thought you were."  
"It wouldn't do for a Schnee to have a bad showing in ANY combat situation!" Weiss retorted. "Let's do this!"

With that, the Nirvash took off into the air on its ref board, surfing through the air on a trail of green Dust. The Gurren Lagann followed suit, flying off on its attached Bullhead wings, leaving a trail of Spiral Energy.

Meanwhile, on the ground, the Shinkiro dodged a cannon blast from the Paladin, retaliating with a blast from its wrist-mounted hadron cannons, firing a dark orb of energy which collided with a canister of Dust from the Paladin, creating a large explosion in mid-air.

Ren chuckled. "Nicely done, Belladonna. This really DOES feel like the Shinkiro."

"Only the best for my mechs." The catgirl retorted, chuckling smugly. "Nicely played, too!"

Cinder scoffed. "I'll still beat you." The Paladin readied itself to punch the Shinkiro.

Ren smiled to himself, flexing his fingers over the keyboard. "I've got terrible mech control skills, but good on you guys for giving me the keyboard control scheme.

Typing quickly, he readied the Shinkiro for the next attack. Cinder's Paladin leapt at the Shinkiro, rearing back its fist.

"Come on!"

"Absolute Defense, ON!" Ren yelled, as the Shinkiro was surrounded by a pink barrier constructed of hexagonal tiles, blocking the punch entirely. The Paladin deftly leapt back, rearing up for another punch.

"Oh COME ON! Why does EVERY mech have stuff like that but mine?!"

"Then quit buying yours from the used mecha warehouse!" Blake retorted.

"I can't help it! They come in a twelve pack!" Cinder protested, before pushing a lever forward and launching several grenades at the Knightmare Frame, which bounced harmlessly off of the field of energy.

Ren chuckled, before lowering the fire shield to several shots from the Hadron Cannons, which the Paladin leapt away from.

"Professor, you're too good at dodging." Ren called over. "And you call my shield unfair."

"Of course it is!" Cinder protested. "It's too powerful!"

Meanwhile, in the air, the Nirvash blasted the Gurren Lagann with green Dust blasts, which the latter mech shielded against with a broad drill, before extending a long, piercing drill with its other hand and charging at the Nirvash, a loud, wordless yell from Blake filling the comms. Weiss responded by twirling into the air, slamming the drill against the ref board, before tilting up and somersaulting back onto the board with grace and retaliating by slugging the Gurren Lagann in the face with its free hand.

The mech flew back, reeling with the force of the punch. Blake shook her head and laughed.

"Nice, solid hit. You sure you're not enjoying this?"

"I-I'm only doing because you people d-dragged me into this fight!" Weiss retorted.

Yang smirked. "Suuuure, Weiss. Sure you-"  
Nora's somewhat alarmed voice suddenly interrupted the comms. "Uh, guys! We have three unknown signatures approaching the forest! Are these guys expected?"  
"Signatures?" Blake called over. "What do you mean signatures? What do they look like?"

"They look like...fancy symbols or something." Nora reported. "They should be in visual range."

The Gurren Lagann looked up to the sky to see three shapes in the distance, appearing to be airships; one green, one blue and one orange- trailing energy trails the same color as their mecha, rapidly approaching the forest.

Blake looked back to the comms. "Uh...Nora. Is there ANYTHING else you fou-"  
"Wait, wait! Something's going off on this weird computer thing you have here! Blake, what does 'Vox Particle Concentration' mean? And why is it increasing?" Nora inquired curiously.

Weiss called over. "Is this another one of yours?"  
"Not mine." Blake hurriedly shook her head. "I know who they are, and those are not my mechs."

Suddenly, an unknown frequency logged onto the comms, marked by a green, elaborate symbol. Blake's eyes widened.

"Oh, you can't be serious. HOW did _she_ get onto my frequency-"  
"Hey!" The newcomer called onto the commlink. "I-is this thing on?"  
"Of course." The catgirl responded quickly. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"I might ask what _you're_ doing! You're going to destroy the nearby city!"

"This is perfectly safe." Yang responded. "We've taken out _all_ the appropriate for-"  
"I'm not going to allow you to destroy this city! It's our responsibility as part of the Jersey Club!"

Blake sighed irritably.  
"Dammit, Madoka. Just...dammit. You're going to make this hard, aren't you?"

"W-wait!" The unseen pilot, presumably the aforementioned Madoka, sounded surprised. "H-How do you know who-"  
"Wait, seriously, Madoka?" Yang's eyes widened. "What, like _Kaname_ Madoka? H-hey, can you get me Mami's autograph?!"

"Kyouno. Wrong Madoka, Yang." Blake corrected her. "Doesn't matter, let's do this."

"W-wait, guys!" Madoka called over the comms. "Can you guys explain how you kno-"

Blake shut off the comm, grumbling. "This just has to happen right when we're trying to have a training fight.

Right, guys, prepare for real battle?"

Weiss protested. "Just WHO is this Madoka you're talking to? What in Dust is going on?!" She smacked the controls.

"I think she's one of the pilots of those mechs that are flying REALLY fast towards us." Ruby pointed out somewhat snarkily.

"You're joking, right?" The heiress sounded exasperated. "Seriously?! MORE giant robots?!"

Ren laughed. "Good. I've been dying to have a better opponent than Professor Fall."  
"H-hey!" Cinder protested. "I'm trying my best! You got the OP one!"

"Blake, do you MIND explaining why we're fighting THESE guys?!" Weiss yelled over.

"They think we're actually trying to fight." Blake grumbled. "Ironically, this'll result in a real fight..."

"Why don't you try and explain it?" Ruby offered.

The catgirl turned on video comms, shaking her head. "She won't be convinced too easily. She's more stubborn than Weiss on a good day."  
"Hey!" Weiss glared at her. "Shut up! I am NOT stubborn!"

Blake shrugged. "Eh. Nora, tell me if that Vox Particle Concentration goes up over one-thousand."  
"Got it! Wait, Blake, how do you know them?"  
"Keep up with the news." Blake reminded her. "You guys didn't hear about what went down in Kamogawa?"

"No, and it'd be NICE for you to explain-" Weiss started, but the mecha approaching them landed in front of them.

The mecha, currently in ship form, shifted out, arms and legs extending from the torso, with several extensions flipping out, painted with the highlight colors of each mech. The one in front, the green one, drew a long energy blade, ready to fight.

Suddenly, a new person joined their comms; a brown-haired girl in a skintight green and white suit, a tuft of hair tied with a yellow band. She was leaning forwards on what looked like the controls to her mecha, which resembled a motorcycle seat.

Yang sighed, looking up at Blake. "You didn't splurge out on communications security, that's for sure."

"Hey, why are you guys fighting?" Madoka complained over the communications, frowning. "And how do you know my name?"  
"One, you're world-famous." Blake retorted. "Two, we aren't fighting! We're having a TRAINING SESSION for Dust's sake, dammit!"

"A training session? What? Wait, those don't look like Ovids...or Voxes." The pilot tilted her head, before sighing. "Man, this is getting confusing! Why did we fly to this 'Vytal' place anyway?"

"Because I wanted to say hi." Another voice, which Weiss recognised, interrupted her. The heiress shook her head.

"...t-that girl from Halloween?"

"Woof. I wanted to apologise for scaring you in the maze." The girl, remaining unseen, stated. "I did not intend on-"  
"Wait, what? You guys scared Weiss?!" Yang gripped the controls of the Gurren. "Without me?! Ugh, that pisses me off! That's not fair! I WANTED to!"

"W-whoa, wait! Yang!" Blake called out, but it was too late. The Gurren attempted to punch the green mech, the Vox Aura, in the face. The Vox swiftly dodged it, and Madoka was quick to express displeasure.

"Hey! Do you mind doing that to Midori?! Now I HAVE to fight you!" The pilot complained. "I'll make it quick-"  
"Quick?!" Blake protested. "Your Vox may have crazy Rin-ne powers, but it's NOTHING compared to the Gurren Lagann! Now you've angered me!"

"What the..." Madoka looked confused, before crying out in frustration. "So much questions! How do you people know everything?! Just...ugh, I'll make you guys explain later!"

The mecha, known world-over as the Vox Aura- fabled in legends both on Earth and the kingdoms of De Metrio and La Garite as the Green Demon that destroyed worlds within the distant void of space, pointed its blade at the Gurren Lagann, itself fabled on distant worlds as a power to challenge gods and the bearer of the drill that created the Heavens themselves.

And so began the clash between the mightiest of the Voxes and the mightiest of the Ganmen.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Rinne no Lagrange belongs to Xebec.**

**Code Geass belongs to Sunrise.**

**A/N: The battle was so long, I had to split it into two chapters- I have it written, but I don't think I did either team RWBY or the Jersey Club justice, so I'm going to work on it for tomorrow. Don't worry, sometime this week, we'll have Emergence out to make up for it.**

**Eh. Not ruling out some older mech series, but you know, always save the best for last.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, reviews, criticism, comments and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	13. Blake and the Great Mecha Battle 2 Pt2!

**Blake and the Great Mecha Battle: The Sequel, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! So, nothing much to say except let's get this clash of legendary mecha on the road!**

**Pfft! What do you mean 'y no Unit-01 vs Gurren Lagann'? Stuff! Woo! Uh...I don't know. I think.**

**Eh, there's nothing much else to say- oh, wait! Right!**

**A huge apology to Cornonjacob, who I completely fluffed the name of last chapter- a derp on my part- and I hope you forgive me... *sobs***

**J-just read this chapter already before I-I collapse into a snivelling wreck...**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise RWBY would have more explosions.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Rinne no Lagrange belongs to Xebec.**

* * *

"Just WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM, KYOUNO?!" Blake roared as the Gurren Lagann pointed at the Vox Aura. "MY MANLINESS WILL OVERCOME YOU!"

Madoka sighed irritably. "Can someone PLEASE explain how these people know who-"  
"She watched your show." Weiss stated, sighing and rolling her eyes.

"I-I have a show?!" She stared at the heiress through the commlink in shock.

"Believe me, Miss Kyouno, we had the same reaction when we found out Monty Oum himself made a show about us." Ren stated. "Yes, you have a show. It's a good show, too."

"So many questions..." The green-clad pilot cried out in exasperation.

"E-Enough talk!" Yang banged her controls. "Y-you guys pranked Weiss without me! This is an insult to my honor!"

"Actually, that was me-" The other girl who was speaking suddenly appeared on the comms- she had short, blue hair adorned with a white flower and clear azure eyes, with a similar suit to her companion, and waving at them. "I am-"  
"Yes, Lan, Laffinty, Yuki Nagato, whatever." Blake scoffed dismissively. "Just get on with this so I can stomp you hard already!"

Lan looked somewhat offended at Blake's dismissive attitude. "W-what do you mean by that?!"

"We're really sorry about this..." Weiss facepalmed. "Unless you guys get out of here, this is really going to get out of hand and I'd RATHER not have to get between Blake and the people she's trying to dri-"

Madoka stared at her like she was an idiot, before turning to Blake and clutching her Vox's controls. "N-not a chance! We'll beat her! That's just the way the Jersey Club does it!"

With that, she shut off comms.

Blake laughed maniacally. "THAT'S IT!"

"I am sorry, miss," Lan sighed. "But if Madoka is going to fight, then so will I." She followed her friend's lead, turning off communications with the Nirvash.

Weiss looked down. "Figures. I was hoping not to have to fight..."  
"Pfft." Ruby snorted. "I can't believe a girl like her scared you-"  
"S-shut up! She caught me by surprise!"

Suddenly, the Vox Aura raised its sword, just as the Gurren Lagann raised a hand enclosed in a drill.

Thrusting the blade forwards, the Vox charged at the Ganmen, leaving a trail of green where it engaged its engines to fly, with a searing green blade colliding with a blazing green drill.

Blake roared, clenching the controls of the Lagann tightly. "Spiral Drill SPIN ON!"

Meanwhile, Madoka blinked in disbelief. "I-Is this a super robot show or something?!"

The Vox Aura found its blade being hurled back by the spinning drill that it had been countered by, tossing its arm back with it. Vox Aura stumbled back, holding its sword to counter any drill strikes from the Gurren Lagann.

"What the-"  
"This...is the power of the Spiral! Don't underestimate it!"

"Hey! Hey! I'm coming in to help!" The orange mecha's pilot- judging by the mech flying in to strike at the Gurren Lagann- chimed in- and they didn't need comms, for she was broadcasting her voice out of the mecha and into the air itself.

It leapt at the Gurren Lagann, hefting a double-bladed energy sword, pulsing with orange light, and preparing to cut down the Ganmen.

"Get away from Madoka!"

Ruby looked to her copilot hurriedly. "Weiss!"  
"Got it." The heiress moved the controls and shoved the Nirvash's ref board in front of the incoming mech's double-bladed energy sword, holding its position and pushing the sword back.

"W-what the..." The orange pilot cried, stumbling back with from the force of the blow.

Blake smirked. "Uploading info on all three Vox units to your mechs, guys."

On the screens of the three others, the names and profiles of each mech appeared, with a short description on weapons and capabilities. On each display, the names of each Vox appeared, and the orange and blue identified as the Vox Ignis and Vox Rympha respectively.

Weiss nodded. "Thanks. At least I know a LITTLE bit about your friends, Blake. And...what does that bit about the 'Rin-ne' mean?"  
"Don't ask. As long as Nora's keeping an eye on that concentration, we'll be fine." Blake reassured her. "Nora, how are we looking?"  
"Vox Particle Concentration is at five hundred!" Nora called over the communications.

"Right. Now. Guys, let's show 'em what happens when they mess with team RWBY!"

"Uh." Ren chimed in. "You're forgetting me."

"Er..." Yang thought quickly. "...Team RWBY and Ren-sensei!"

"Hey!" Cinder called out, somewhat offended. "What about me?!"

"Coming in to provide fire support." Lan called out from the Vox Rympha which began drawing what seemed to be a giant energy rifle from its waist and aiming at the Nirvash.

"Not a chance." Ren scoffed, flying up and activating the Absolute Defense Field with several deft keystrokes, surrounding the Knightmare Frame with the hexagonal pink protective field. The Vox hailed fire upon it, only for not a single shot to even dent the Shinkiro.

Lan stared at the shield in shock, her mouth slightly ajar. "Not even a dent...what power is this?"

Cinder jumped up. "I-I want to fight too!"

Blake laughed mockingly. "Heh. Cinder-chan, that mech of yours is pathetic compared to the god-like powers fighting right now. Leave it to the experts!"

The Gurren Lagann threw the Vox Aura back, rearing up to punch it with its drills. Madoka, however, held her sword to defend against the punch and drill and sword collided once more, creating a small shockwave where the weapons collided.

"Okay, hang on! Why are we fighting again?!" Madoka called out frantically from the Vox Aura.

"You insulted the Gurren Lagann by implying it was weak! That's an insult to my manliness!" Blake yelled back.

"In my defence, I-I didn't know that'd offend you!" The green pilot responded.

"Now we HAVE to settle this with a manly display of manly power!" The catgirl grumbled. "Let's do this! Also..." She sounded a little less determined.

"Huh?"  
"I...well...you're, like, kinda one of my idols." Blake admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head and blushing slightly. "And I've always wanted to have a duel with you in the Vox Aura..."

"...really?" Madoka deflated slightly, sounding slightly flattered. "Wow, thanks...I guess."  
"Now that that's out the way..." Blake smirked. "You saved the world over Kamogawa, right?"

"Sorta! I mean...it was me, Lan and Muginami here, but we did..."

"Now...show me what you've got! I'm sorry for insulting you, but now that's out of the way, let's get the REAL fight on! Team RWBY versus the Jersey Club! Let's see who's more badass!"

"Ahem!" Ren and Cinder cleared their throats loudly. "You're forgetting US again!"

Madoka smiled, determination blazing in her eyes as she faced the Gurren Lagann through the cockpit of the Vox Aura. Adjusting the yellow band keeping her tuft of hair up, she responded back in kind.

"You're on...wait, I never did catch your name. Who are you again?"  
Blake gritted her teeth in determination. "The great and mighty Blake Belladonna! You'd better remember that name!"

"I will." The green-clad pilot chuckled. "Now...let's brawl!"

* * *

The Gurren Lagann and Vox Aura circled each other, weapons at the ready, attempting to find any weak spot in the other's position. The indomitable face of the Ganmen stared into the green, cool face of the Vox, and it was almost as if both mecha had reached an understanding of each other's might and power, like their pilots.

Meanwhile, the Nirvash batted back the Vox Ignis with its ref board, while the Vox readied its sword for a counterattack.

Weiss shook her head.

"Blake, we've got this one. Contrary to what you think, I can handle fighting with these things."  
"Yep!" Ruby called over. "Wait, why are we fighting again?"

"Blake's no longer whining about her manliness and now she's fangirling over this Madoka girl..." Weiss sighed, not entirely unsympathetic to the idea. "Now help me fight this thing."

The Vox Ignis slashed at the Nirvash with its double blade, each hit being parried with the ref board. The LFO hurled blasts of green Dust at the Vox, which it blocked by manifesting a cape of orange energy and swinging it to block the Nirvash's shots, shielding it and causing them to fizzle harmlessly against the cape.

"Wow!" The orange pilot- presumably Muginami from the descriptions Blake had given- complimented Weiss. "You're pretty good at piloting, you know."  
"Just who the hell do you think we are?" Ruby yelled proudly. "We're Team RWBY!"

"Uh...nice to meet you guys!" The voice cheerfully called. "We're the Galactic Jersey Club! I'm Muginami!"  
"Nice to meet you- wait..." Weiss' eyes widened. "_Galactic_ Jersey Club? PLEASE don't tell me we're facing an army of alien mechs!"

"Nah, just three." Ruby nodded. "If I remember the anime."  
"Huh? What?" Muginami called over, confused. "Oh, by the way, I really like the design of your mech! What is it called?"  
"Nirvash typeZERO. I think." Weiss shrugged. "I dunno. I don't make these things. For that, you'll be asking the pilot of that red one. "  
"Oh." The orange pilot sounded impressed. "She makes giant robots?"

"For fun. I don't understand how it works and frankly..." The heiress shrugged, despite nobody but Ruby being able to see her movements. "I don't really want to."

"Huh..." Muginami sounded slightly disappointed.

"Hey, when this is over, do you guys wanna go have dinner with us?" Ruby offered.  
"That sounds nice."

On the opposite end of the field, the Shinkiro and Vox Rympha were flying about the field, exchanging blasts from their weapons.

Ren was rapidly typing on the keyboard. "This thing's fast..." He hurriedly put up the Shinkiro's shield to parry another blast, before hurling another blast from the hadron cannon at the Vox, which dodged it with ease.

"Nicely played." He complimented his opponent, who didn't respond. He sighed.

"Not much of a talker? I can sympathise."

In the middle, the Vox Aura and Gurren Lagann were swinging their respective weapons at each other, attempting to make the other drop down their defenses. However, Blake made one false step and left her side open, allowing the Vox to slash the Gurren Lagann's side, sending it reeling.

"Gotcha!" Madoka declared proudly as the Vox Aura stepped back from the Ganmen as it clutched its side, as it started sparking with green electricity.

She stood up in her cockpit, pointing a finger forwards, and drew a perfect circle in the air. "Perfect!"

Blake and Yang roared defiantly in unison, glaring at their opponent and pumping their controls with all their might.

"FLAME OF SISTERLY BADASSERY, BURN ON!"

Their Ganmen suddenly set itself ablaze with green flame and flexed its arms, repairing the cut left open on its side. Its eyes flared with green, and the Vox seemed to stumble back at the display, as if awed by the display of manliness.

* * *

Madoka's eyes widened as she saw the robot in front of her just _regenerate_ the cut she just gave it.

"Wait, what?! That thing can _heal_?!" She sighed in frustration. "Man, this bites! What else can that thing do?!"

"I am having difficulty holding off my opponent." Lan called over from the Vox Rympha. "He seems to have a shield capable of resisting projectiles."  
"Madoka, have you noticed that the white mech kinda looks like ours?" Muginami noted. "It looks a bit outdated, too...like an older version of a Vox..."

"You guys are doing well! Keep it up!" Madoka chuckled. "We've got to give 'em a good show! They're fans of ours, apparently!"

"I have fans?" Lan looked over, surprised.  
The orange pilot made an affirmative sound. "Yeah! Show them our power! Isn't that right, Fuupo?"  
"Very well...myself and Orca will have to give it our best shot." With that, Lan's Vox launched itself upwards to dodge another blast from the Shinkiro.

"Good luck!" Madoka called out, before looking to her opponent. The Gurren Lagann seemed unstoppable...but its back was unguarded.

Perfect timing for her to demonstrate her best moves.

Madoka smiled. This was somewhat fun, but it was time to finish it. She patted her controls.

"Yeah, Midori. Let's do this. We'll beat that thing, healing or no healing."

* * *

Blake studied her opponent, watching the Vox Aura closely. She watched as it sheathed its energy blade, putting it aside and entering a strange pose.

"What's Madoka playing at..." The catgirl muttered to herself, trying to remember what she knew of her fighting style.

"Huh...that looks familiar..." Yang watched as the Vox jumped up. "Wait...Blake!"  
"What?"

"She's about to-"

"I've got you now!" Madoka yelled, as the Vox Aura gripped the Gurren Lagann by the neck. "It's been fun, fighting on your terms, but I'll show you how we do it in Kamogawa!"

The Vox reared up, preparing to suplex the larger Ganmen, tilting upwards to begin the process.

"Nice try, Madoka." Blake scoffed. "I knew you would try that..."

Yang looked around as she saw her surroundings beginning to tilt back. "Blake, if you have a move, do it now-"

"GIGA DRILL MAXIMUM!" The catgirl roared, pulling tightly on her controls, as the Gurren Lagann flared with Spiral Power and drills began to grow on all sides. The Vox Aura relinquished it, pushing itself away to avoid the drills piercing it.

Madoka cried out in surprise. "H-How many drills does this thing have?!"

Blake scoffed, whipping out her triangle shades. "As many drills as I want it to have!"

To the right, the Nirvash and Vox Ignis engaged in combat, with the latter dodging green blasts of Dust and the former using its ref board to parry slashes from the sword. Neither could actually move to strike their opponent.

The latter somersaulted back, shifting its blades into a gun mode to fire back at the Nirvash. Weiss hurriedly moved to block the attack with the ref board, as the force pushed them back.

"Transforming weapons..." Weiss grumbled. "Why do we have only a bunch of cannons and a board?!"

"Hey!" Muginami protested from her Vox. "A flying surfboard is actually a pretty cool idea!"

"And you have an energy sword and cannon. Your point is invali-" Weiss didn't even finish her sentence before the Vox Ignis shifted back into its ship form and flew upwards. Ruby looked to her partner.

"Shall we pursue?"  
"Do it." Weiss braced herself, as the Nirvash shifted into its own vehicle mode and gave chase, flying upwards to engage.

Blasts of Dust whistled past the Vox Ignis, barely missing by inches. Regardless, it held its path, as Weiss contemplated something.

"What's she playing at? What does she plan on doing?"

"Wait..." Ruby looked at their situation. "I think she's-"  
"Let's see if this works!" Muginami cried out, before shifting the Vox Ignis out of vehicle form and holding out the energy cape to block the Nirvash-

"I see...but that's not going to WORK!" The heiress yelled. "Ruby, you pondering what I'm pondering?"  
"Hm..." Ruby thought for a moment, before nodding and smiling. "I see."

"Now!" Weiss yelled, as she and Ruby gripped their controls and shifting back the Nirvash into its own robot form, before drawing the ref board from its back and slamming it into the Vox's leg just around the cape, forcing it down to Earth with their weight. It slammed into a group of trees, flattening them entirely and leaving a large gouge in the Vox's leg.

"H-huh?!" The orange pilot uttered in disbelief. "Wait!"

To the other side, the Vox Rympha and Shinkiro shared fire. The fight seemed to be over a long range, as the Vox's shots were blocked by the Absolute Defence Field of the Knightmare Frame, and the Hadron Cannons of the Shinkiro were unable to hit the agile Vox.

Ren was rapidly typing on his keyboard, mentally calculating his next moves. "Hm...the Vox is much faster than I thought it'd be..." Shifting aside to duck a barrage of shots, the gunslinger readied the shield again.

Lan, meanwhile, surveyed her opponent, thinking quickly. "...his shield is impenetrable...but..."

Staring closer at the field, she realised that the points between the hexagons making up the shield looked weaker than the shield itself.

She quietly muttered to herself. "If I can direct all fire towards one small weak spot...I think I might be able to break the shield..." The girl pulled back on her controls, pushing the Vox back with it to a farther position and taking aim at the Shinkiro.

Ren put up the Field again, sighing. "You won't be able to pierce this, you know. It's almost ironclad."  
Lan nodded, even though Ren couldn't see her, retorting quietly. "That's what I'm counting on."

Taking aim, the Vox Rympha fired a barrage of shots into a small corner between hexagons in front of one of the Shinkiro's shoulders. Ren laughed off the blasts, chuckling.

"Oh, come on, what are you-"  
"Uh...Renny..." Nora chimed in. "You're...kinda wrong."  
"What?"

"Your Field's going down!"

"What?!" Ren looked confused, but Lan merely gave a little smile as the shots finally broke through the Field.

The Field shattered wholly, leaving the barrage to smash against the pauldron, leaving sparking holes in it as the Shinkiro reeled with the force.

Ren gazed at his controls "How is that possible? Dammit...that went worse than I thought...Nora, how much damage?"

"You're at...err...pancake!" Nora's happy chomping sounds could be heard, before she responded. "...oh right! You're at sixty-six percent structural integrity, and that shoulder's not looking too good."

"Dammit." Ren grumbled and keyed in commands to fly back, while dodging any blasts from the Vox Rympha, waiting for the field to repair itself.

Cinder sighed, by this point having perched her Paladin on a cliff overlooking the fight, eating popcorn and lounging on the top of the Paladin's cockpit. She watched the exchange of blasts with some interest.

"Eh. I've seen better." She shrugged. "I've done better."

* * *

Meanwhile, the other six mecha fell to their respective leaders, regrouping.

Weiss looked to Blake. "How are we?"  
"We're fine on the battle front." Yang responded. "We took a hit, but we'll be fine."

"Quite badly damaged here." Ren called out. "That blast would've taken me out if it was close range..."

"Dammit..." Blake muttered. "We have to have a plan! We've to pull this back! I won't lose! Not now!"

Meanwhile, with the Jersey Club...

Madoka sighed. "It's kinda hopeless...we're too equally matched!"

Lan shrugged, looking over to her comrade. "I managed to hit and damage the black one. If we are to target that one..."

Muginami landed next to them, the Vox Ignis limping slightly. "I got hit pretty badly, but I'll live!"

The green-clad pilot shook her head. "We should go for the Gurren Lagann. Blake's leading this and if we take her down..."  
"...then we win the fight." Lan nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."  
"I'm in!" Muginami helpfully cheered.

* * *

Ren called back over the comms. "They're pulling back. Which...if the Druid System's telling me right...

...they plan on going for the Gurren Lagann. Blake, watch out."  
"Tell me something I don't know." The catgirl retorted, flying backwards. "This doesn't look good for me. Nora, the concentration?"  
"Hovering above 700 particles!"

"Excellent." Blake chuckled. "This should be fun."

The Nirvash bunched up to the Gurren Lagann's side. Weiss looked to Blake, somewhat concerned.

"Lemme guess, you've got a plan to deal with whatever's coming."  
"Madoka's their leader, in the Vox Aura, but taking her out will just tick the other two off." Blake noted. "If we coordinate a triple attack at them at the same time, using all our weapons..."  
"...an alpha strike, sorta. Right?" Yang asked.

"Indeed. An Alpha Strike."

Weiss looked to Ruby. "You up for that?"  
The reaper smiled cheerily. "Like Penny says, I'm combat ready!"

* * *

Madoka nodded to her companions, visible to her through her display. All three shared a look of understanding, ready for battle.

"So, everything on the red one!"  
"Understood." Lan nodded to her, rearing up for a full out attack.

"Mhm! Right!" Muginami prepared to attack.

Suddenly, their displays were filled with the image of Blake, triangle shades donned, grinning at them.

Blake laughed. "Okay, you've had your fun."  
"Yeah." Madoka scoffed. "We're going to end this right here! It's been nice duelling with you, but we'll just have to prove we're superior!"

"And I..." Blake carefully adjusted her triangle shades. "Am going to show you the power of the Spiral. If you think we're so easy to beat...just WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!"

Madoka smiled at the prospect of challenge. She hadn't seen someone so pumped up like that except for herself.

It was awesome, to say the least.

"Right, guys! Get ready!" She called over to her friends.

The Gurren Lagann, Shinkiro and Nirvash readied themselves, as the three Voxes drew their weapons.

Blake looked to her friends.

"You ready?"  
Ren flexed his fingers again, his hands hovering over the keyboard of the Shinkiro. "Yep."

Weiss and Ruby interlocked their hands over the Compac Drive, smiling at each other, before looking to Blake.

"Ready."

Yang gazed upwards. "When you are, Blake."

"Right!" The catgirl yelled. "CHARGE!"

The three mechs flew forwards just as the three Voxes did, setting both on an inexorable course for each other.

Blake, however, was prepared.

"Now! Yang!"

The Gurren Lagann suddenly drew the sunglasses from its chest and the wings from its back, before hurling them like a boomerang at the Vox Aura, pinning it to a barrier of Spiral Energy above it.

* * *

Madoka, meanwhile, stared at the display in shock. She tried to move the Vox, to no avail. The blades had stuck it firm.

"I-is this a finishing move?!"

* * *

Blake clenched her controls. "Now's our chance!"

Raising a hand to the sky and spawning a drill, the Gurren Lagann readied its ultimate move.

"GIGA!" Blake yelled out with all the manliness she could muster.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Shinkiro charged at the Vox Rympha, blasting out two cords from its knees, hooking them around the Vox's legs.

Ren smiled. "Just right. Now. Activating the main weapon!"

The Shinkiro's chest began to open, a prism beginning to pop out.

* * *

Lan grasped the controls in surprise.

"What the..." She stared at her opponent in shock, watching as a weapon began to deploy from its chest.

* * *

The Nirvash, meanwhile, was having more trouble, as it had no ability to pin its opponent. Weiss and Ruby were desperately looking for a way to pin down the Vox Ignis...until...

Ruby pointed at the cape. "Throw the ref board at it!"

"What?" Weiss stared at her."  
"I said throw the board at it! Or at the leg! Pin it down!"  
"That'll stop us from moving!"

"But it'll stop her too!" Ruby pointed out. "Remember how we just took her down?"

"Point taken!" The heiress nodded hurriedly, before the Nirvash somersaulted off of its board and hurled it at the Vox's leg, piercing straight through it and pinning it to the ground.

Muginami, in her Vox, tried to pull herself out of that, to no avail.

"How did they move so quickly?!" She yelled.

"DRILL!" Blake roared, as the drill became larger.

"Wait!" Nora yelled. "Vox Particle Concentration...the concentration's up in the thousands!"

"What?!" Blake's eyes widened as suddenly, the three Voxes glowed with an aura similar to their colors.

"You underestimated us, Blake." Madoka reminded her, gripping her controls. "And we're going to show you just why you don't do that to us!"

"Indeed." Lan nodded. "We'll win."

"Roger that!" Their orange-haired companion added.

"Not so fast!"

Suddenly, long spindly drills knocked the ref boards and items used to pin the Voxes away, before stabbing into Vox, Ganmen and LFO alike and hurling them back with a green blast.

"What?" Madoka yelped, gripping her controls tightly. "W-what's going on?"

Blake looked to her left to see the Schnee-Type Lazengann, with Tukson clearly piloting it. He scoffed.

"You think I'm going to miss out a chance to show you people how powerful my own Lazengann is? I am going to have to disabuse you of such a notion!"

Blake growled, before turning to her erstwhile opponent. "Hey, Madoka..."  
"You wanna team up to fight this guy?" She finished for her eagerly.

"Yeah." The catgirl chuckled. "Let's do it."

"Perfect!" Madoka drew a circle in the air in her cockpit, before turning to her other allies.

"Right, Jersey Club!" The girl announced to her partners. "Let's show them how it's done!

Blake, meanwhile, turned to her allies.

"Let's show them the Team RWBY way!" She roared.

Ren sighed. "Yeah, sure, forget that I'm team JNPR..."

The Lazengann retracted its drills, preparing for battle. It crossed its arms, resembling its pilot.

Tukson chuckled darkly.

"Let's see...six targets to beat. Let's see how quickly I can do this!"

"Not on our life!" Madoka yelled, before the Vox Aura, Ignis and Rympha flew at the Lazengann.

"Now!"

"Got it, Madoka!" Muginami and Lan yelled as their Voxes grabbed the shoulders of the Lazengann, and the Vox Aura the head.

Tukson's expression as this happened was not of confusion, but of bemusement. "What are you playing at? Anyway, Giga Drill Maximum!"

The drills shot out into the Voxes, but the aura surrounding them seemed to force the drills back in with some difficulty. Tukson looked on in disbelief.

"W-what...the power of the Voxes? That can't be!"

"Kamogawa Style Finishing Move!" The green-clad pilot yelled in unison with her club members, before all three of them hurled the Lazengann back over their heads and into the ground below.

It landed on several trees, flattening them and leaving a large hole in the ground, but stood up just as quickly.

Tukson scoffed. "It's not that easy to-"

"Now!" Blake yelled, as the Gurren Lagann hurled its wings and sunglasses at the Lazengann, pinning it once more.

"Weiss, Ruby, Ren, everyone, SOFTEN IT UP!"

Ruby and Weiss smiled at each other, as the Nirvash turned to the downed Lazengann.

"Let's finish this."

At the same time, the Shinkiro prepared to fire its main weapon, the Diffusion Structure Phase Transition Cannon.

Both mechs blasted the downed Ganmen with searing blasts of Aura-based and Dust-powered energy, leaving the Lazengann steaming.

The puma Faunus sighed. "I picked the WRONG day for intervening, didn't I?"

"GIGA! DRILL! BREAAAAAAK!"

With that, the Gurren Lagann smashed a mighty drill into the Lazengann, disabling it and ending the battle with a flourish of its hand.

* * *

"That, my friends, was teamwork." Blake chuckled, before turning to the flying Voxes. "Thanks."

"No problem." Madoka laughed. "That was fun, you know. Maybe we should do that again sometime. Not now, though.

We just got a call to go help out someone's school festival in a city called...Mitakigahara."

"Shame..." Blake sighed, before nodding. "Hey, let's finish it properly." The catgirl promised. "We'll do one real fight. I promise."

"Perfect! We'll see you!" The Vox Aura turned to the Gurren Lagann, waved, and flew off into the distance, shifting into ship form.

"Shame we won't have that dinner." Muginami sounded disappointed, before perking up. "Ah, well. Farewell!" She followed her friend, leaving Lan and the Vox Rympha behind.

"...y-yeah. See you around. And by the way, I am truly sorry for the maze incident!" With that, she flew off herself, leaving the three mecha behind.

Blake sighed. "Well...that's an awesome way to end the first ever Mecha Club meeting."

"...at least I don't have to lug these things home like you made me do the last time." Weiss rolled her eyes, before she felt her stomach rumble.

Ruby giggled at that. "You hungry?"

Weiss sighed, smiling at her. "...although I could go for dinner. You're right there."

"Yeah. Me too." Ren laughed. "Shall we go and pick Nora up too?"  
"Good idea. Mecha Club, away!" Blake pointed towards Beacon, and the Gurren Lagann, Nirvash and Shinkiro flew off...

...meanwhile, the Paladin trundled along behind them on foot, as Cinder pouted.

"H-hey! Guys! You forgot me! Guys?! GUYS?!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, Rinne no Lagrange crossover over, customary shout out to Puella Magi made, and now announcements!  
**

**Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Emergence, by Chris7221, who was awesome enough to let us react to it! **

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, reviews, suggestions and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	14. Special Chapter: Emergence, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Emergence, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Finally, we are at the point that you may or may NOT have been waiting for, an actual fanfic reaction! Feel free to fire shots at my expense! Today, we'll be covering the legendary RWBY fanfic 'Emergence', courtesy of Chris7221, to whom I owe a lot for shouting me out a couple of times and letting me write about his fic! Please, go read his work- it's far better written and far more interesting than this.**

**Well, without further ado, let's have the chapter over with before you people get bored! Which I think you already are!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise...*shrugs* I've got nothing.**

**All mentioned characters and properties belong to their respective owners.**

**Emergence belongs to Chris7221.**

* * *

"Hey, guys." Blake asked, leaning back in her upper bunk, bouncing a rubber ball back and forth at the wall, bored. "You guys know about, like, Evangelion, Narutaru and Puella Magi, right?"

"The only reason I know about that blasted Puella Magi thing is because RUBY decided to give me a Sayaka plushie for my birthday..." Weiss sighed, looking over to Ruby, who was giggling.

"In my defence, I thought Sayaka might suit you..."

"Hehe." Yang chuckled. "You haven't even watched the show, Ruby. You wouldn't know."

The reaper frowned. "But they're both blue-haired swordfighters!"

"My hair is WHITE." Weiss corrected her girlfriend, scoffing. "I can't believe you didn't notice my hair color! D-Dolt!"

"T-the lighting always makes it look like your hair's blue..." Ruby twiddled her fingers ashamedly. "S-sorry..."

"Hey! Guys!" Blake snapped, catching the ball in its final bounce. "Question? I was asking one?"

Yang blinked, before nodding quickly. "Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah, I know about those. Genre deconstructions, right?"

"Anyway..." The catgirl rubbed her chin with two fingers, studying the ball in thought. "I was wondering if there was anything like that for fanfiction."

"Tons! I think." Yang looked away, briefly thinking. "That makes sense that someone might make one..."  
Weiss gazed at Blake, nodding. "That sounds like a good idea, actually. Picking apart all these perverted lemons and stupid comedy fics written by stupid shipper perverts..."  
Yang winked at her. "You're _in_ a stupid comedy fic written by a stupid shipper pervert."

"So you keep claiming." The heiress quickly shot back, crossing her arms. "I told you, unless this 'ElfCollaborator' person you keep claiming's behind all of this shows up and uses god powers or something, he's just another stupid pervert writer who somehow knows about everything we do."

Ruby nodded. "Now that you mention it, we should probably look to see if one of those exists...

And anyway, we can't use our TV to watch anything."  
Blake nodded slowly, recalling what happened. "...aaaah. Right. We...accidentally smashed the TV with the controllers...eh, Norn should have it fixed in two days."

"I wonder what her team even does in their spare time..." Ruby said as she strolled over to the computer to turn it on.

"Probably nothing like what Velvet does." Blake shrugged, before holding up her finger for a second. "Wait."

"Huh?" Weiss looked over at her. "What?"

The catgirl sighed and prodded the vent over her with an air horn, before blowing it into the vent. A loud squeak was heard, followed by frenzied scrabbling.

"Just Velvet. Don't mind it."

"Figures." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Very well, I'll bite." Pulling aside a large shark-tooth patterned beanbag, she sat next to Ruby as she booted up the computer.

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"Emergence?" Blake scratched her head, studying the screen closely and looking at the first fic she'd found that looked like it might be a deconstruction. "That...isn't that a book?"

"I think so." Yang rubbed her chin, reading the blurb. She smiled. "Yes! I'm a main character in this story! Woo! Someone who knows of my awesomeness!"

"The blurb is about Ruby." Weiss reminded her, deflating her teammate slightly. "Hm...Earth?"

"Must be a more realistic version of Earth than where we live in." Blake noted. "I'm ASSUMING we're on Earth, what with Japan being here and all..."

Weiss gave her a deadpan look. "Is this even relevant?"

"Reverse self-insert?" Yang nodded in approval, curling her lip and clicking on the link. "Sounds good."

Ruby eagerly read the fic, being as it was that she was the main character, and team RWBY sat down with her to the read the first arc.

...

The reaper nodded. "Now I know how it feels to be mistaken for a cosplayer..."

Weiss scoffed. "Any fool would know that you were the real thing! Just try to pick up that stupid scythe of yours!"

Blake shook her head. "We don't live on that Earth, therefore we have no idea how puny muggles might feel when they see us. Although 'awe' and 'worship' come to mind."

"No me?" Yang pouted in disappointment. "That sucks..."

"Yaaaaay we actually read a fic where I'm the main character!" Ruby cheered. "It's always Weiss or Yang for some reason when we read a fic. I don't know why..."

Blake shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe because the title of the fic is Weiss Reacts?"

"Shush. Read the fic. For once, I _don't_ want to throttle the author..." The heiress noted. "...and that's a first. Maybe because he isn't a stupid shipper pervert."

Yang giggled, shaking her head. "Oh, _Weiss_..."  
"If you're insinuating that I would sink to _your_ level, Yang, you are dead-"  
"Oh, _Suzaku..._" The brawler stated teasingly, taking in Weiss' shocked expression. She nodded, confirming Weiss' suspicions.

"Mhm. I still remember your yaoi collection."  
"Y-you...monster..." The heiress mumbled, hiding her face in her sleeve ashamedly.

Blake pouted. "No action? T-this is UNMANLY!"

"Not everything has to be manly, you dunce!" Weiss suddenly looked up at her and snapped. "W-what is with you and manliness?!"

"If I have to give you ONE more speech on why manliness is the only thing that matters, I will be very disappointed in you." The catgirl reminded her. "I thought I got it into your head how important being a manly person is!"  
"T-that did nothing!"

Ruby continued reading the chapters, nodding silently to herself, before rubbing her temples.

"...this feels weird." The reaper muttered. Yang looked at her curiously.

"Huh?"  
"I'm reading...about myself in a fanfic, watching a series about myself. Is that normal?"  
"You mean you haven't noticed that for the last hundred chapters?" Yang remarked.

"Point taken." Ruby nodded, sighing. "I just want to give myself a hug...she's just so...lost."  
"Awwww~" The brawler giggled, hugging her younger sister. "Don't worry, I'll hug you~"  
Ruby nuzzled into her sister, sighing happily. "Yaaaay!"

Blake rubbed her chin. "...they actually sent those handsome gentlemen at Rooster Teeth videos of Ruby?"

"Least we know where Monty got his ideas for Volume Two." Yang mused, before snapping her fingers. "Hey, you guys ever wonder how he got the ideas for RWBY in OUR world? I mean...someone had to have told him about this to make that web animation..."

* * *

_Meanwhile, in JNPR dorm..._

Ren sneezed.

"Dammit. I'm coming down with something again." He rubbed his nose, continuing to type.

On the screen was a script labelled 'Episode: Painting the Town'. Nora poked her head in from the side, cooing at him.

"Reeeeen! Dooooo you want pancakes?"

"No thanks."

"Oooooh, what's that?" Nora poked the screen.

"Just a thing I'm writing." The gunslinger shrugged casually.

"It looks awesome!"

"You have no idea."

* * *

_Back in RWBY dorm..._

Ruby poked the screen, drawing everyone's attention to it.

"And Weiss is there too!"  
"...what? I am?" Weiss moved over to her to read the end of the tenth chapter. "...

I ended up in Russia?"

"WHAT?!" Blake looked over, shoving her aside. She frowned.

"Awww...I wanted to end up in Russia! Russia's awesome!"

"Because it's manly?" The heiress rolled her eyes.

"You know it."

"Huh." Ruby nodded. "...this is actually fairly interesting. I'm kinda sad that I'm a little out of character..."

"He DID say he couldn't write you." Yang shrugged. "Kinda expected."

"Oh...excellent. I got mistaken for some weird cartoon character from some movie." Weiss grumbled. "Dammit, I've WATCHED the movie and I know what she looks like, I look nothing like that!"

"Princess Anastasia..." Blake snickered. "I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with Russian history- being that we are from Vytal- but even I know she's been dead for at least a century.

Fits the whole tragic princess vibe you give off, though."  
Weiss leered at her. "Call me a tragic princess again and I'll have you eliminated."

Yang laughed. "Oh dear...you guys are going to go all the way from Vancouver to Ukraine?"

"I already feel sorry for the guy's wallet." Weiss remarked. "Wait, shush, we're going to read this next chapter."

* * *

"...dear Oum that got dark quickly." Weiss shuddered. "Seriously, I got shoved into a warzone? And how do I not understand German? _Ich bin Deutsch! Es ist klar, ja? Mein Name ist Deutsch!"_

"We know, you keep singing Rammstein lyrics when we leave you to it." Blake chuckled.

"Well, they're about the only band I know with songs about sharks!" Weiss protested, before sighing.

"And I am NOT an anime character! How could you mistake me for something from an anime?"  
"You do act like an unholy mixture of Asuna and Shana." Yang pointed out.

Weiss facepalmed. "I don't even know who any of those characters are, you dolt."

Blake cringed at the war scene. "Okay...that just...ouch. Poor Dmitry."

Weiss gagged slightly, before changing the chapter. "...tell me about it. This story pulls no punches...

...and what did they _expect_ was going to happen when they decide to say that they're looking for an apparently fictional character? Incompetents."

"On second thought, action might not be the best thing around here..." Blake pointed out. "For once, action is NOT manly.

Not when the opponents are essentially made of plasticine as far as we're concerned."

Yang nodded, swallowing. "Y-yeah. Let's just get this chapter out of the way..."

"You alright, Yang?" Ruby looked concerned. "You don't look too good."  
"I-I'm fine."

Weiss nodded. "She has a point. This story is...incredibly realistic. Definitely a lot less comedic than what we usually read...

Yang, if you need a moment, you-"  
"No." The brawler shook her head. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just a little...uncomfortable about reading this. It's just so...brutal, I guess."  
Weiss sighed, rolling her eyes. "Dammit, Yang. _This _gets you? I thought you were stronger than that. You can take a break if you want, okay?"  
Yang nodded slowly. "Okay. I'm fine. T-thanks, Weiss."

"Hmph. You're a dolt, but it doesn't suit you to be acting like this." The heiress crossed her arms.

Ruby giggled, hugging her. "Awwww...you really DO care about Yang-"  
"N-no! S-she's my teammate and I don't want to see her acting t-this sad!" Weiss retorted, a bit too hastily.

Yang smiled.

"Right, Weiss. I'll take you on your word."

The heiress sighed loudly. "J-just read the stupid fic, y-you idiots!"

Blake chortled, going to the next chapter. "Alright, alright. You don't need to be so tsundere about your friends, too."

"I-I am NOT!" Weiss grumbled. "Honestly, you morons...

And so, the girls began to read the next couple of chapters eagerly. Again.

* * *

"Operation Fall-" Weiss rubbed her temples, shaking her head. "...I don't even...gah. I agree with his friend. Still, good on them for heading to a warzone...even if it is an _incredibly_ stupid move."

"Least they decided on a better name, even if it's a lot more punny." Yang noted, moving to the next chapter. "...and this Katya girl's a badass. I don't care. Seriously, you've got to be to have the balls to pull what she did, right?"  
Blake nodded. "When we're done, I'm drawing fanart of this thing. Not of the more...gory...scenes, but still. She gets the triangle shades."  
Weiss looked to Blake. "What is with you and triangle shades-oh, wait, no, that was a stupid question. I know. It's because they're manly or something."

"Not bad." Blake nodded, smiling smugly. "You've learnt well."

Yang nodded. "That entire family she stayed with needs a medal or something."  
"...I'm kinda disappointed they thought I was a fascist..." Weiss grumbled. "And offended. Definitely offended."

"Awww!" Ruby pouted as she read the next chapter. "Why didn't I get to go?!"  
"You don't have a passport and you'd probably do something stupid, considering you thought that going straight into a warzone wasn't going to be dangerous." Weiss remarked.

The reaper frowned. "I-I'm not THAT naive!"

"You once thought babies came from flying Nevermores with top hats." Yang reminded her happily.

"Y-you told me that!"  
"And you believed it~"

Weiss stared at her girlfriend in disbelief. "Are you SERIOUSLY that much of a dunce?!"

"I-In my defence, I was eight!"

Blake nodded in approval. "This fic's pretty good for realism...but props to her uncle for letting a possible crazy person stay with her."

"Still waiting for my part in this fic..." Yang sighed, tapping the desk. "Blaaaaake...change the chapter so we can get to my part!"

"Alright, alright. Two seconds ago, you were depressed..." Blake reminded her, but obliged.

The brawler shrugged. "I get over things quickly."

"Least there's nothing perverted in this fic for you to make fun of." Weiss stated in a relieved tone. "At least, I HOPE there isn't."  
"Oh, Weiss." Yang chuckled. "You've not learned anything if you think I need a _fic_ to make perverted jokes."

Meanwhile, Blake nodded in approval at the passport acquisition scene.

"Nice and sneaky...although I would have probably picked Elsa instead of Anna for Weiss' name. Pretty fitting."

"Elsa Weiss?" Ruby thought for a moment. "Sounds like a Witch or something..."

"Weiss as a Witch..." The catgirl shuddered. "That would be...unthinkable..."

The heiress looked over to the screen, reading the last chapter of the arc. "...I feel so...awkward. That's just...dammit, why do I have to be so clueless and stupid in this?!"

"To be fair, you DID just get hurled into another world that you know nothing about..." Yang pointed out. "You're pretty lucky in that respect."  
"I hardly call being forced to kill people _lucky._"

"Point."

"Yaaaay, we're back together!" Ruby cheered. "And hugs for everyone!"

"At least this arc ended happily." Weiss sighed. "Even if I DO feel sorry for Katya..."

"Eh. She'll be in good hands. Hopefully." Blake reassured her. "Now...the end of this arc...pfft. Flying into space without giant robots. The Earth in that fic must be boring."

"No White Rose?" Yang frowned. "That would've been nice."

Weiss laughed triumphantly. "Finally! A fic without this shipping!"

Yang sniffled. "...my feels...oh, wait." She held a finger up, pointing at the act 3 teaser.

"...Blake ended up near a maid cafe? And cosplayers? Wait...DAMMIT I CAN'T MAKE A PERVERTED JOKE HERE!"

Weiss smiled smugly. "I win."

Yang collapsed to the ground dramatically. "Noooooooo!"

Blake chuckled, moving to go to the next chapter. "Oh. I'm gonna love my arc. I ended up in Japan, too.

Fitting that I end up in the homeland of Gurren Lagann, after all."

The brawler pouted and sulked, crossing her arms. "Why can't I go to Japan?! You guys got all the cool places..."

* * *

**END OF PART 1**

* * *

**A/N: So we took care of Ruby and Weiss' arcs, next chapter, it'll be Blake, Yang and MAYBE a little Omake about the Asides! Especially one particular aside of which you people should probably be aware of if you keep track of his awesome fics...**

**Again, a huge shout out to Chris7221 for letting me do this, seriously, you should go read his work if you're looking for something realistic and aren't afraid of a little gore or realism, it's much better than this crap.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	15. Special Chapter: Emergence, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Emergence, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Boy, have I got a bunch of news for you guys! Firstly, we have acquired some more stories for reactions; firstly, The Draigg's 'The Weiss List'- go read that and the rest of his fics, they're brilliant, better than mine and inspiration to me, too-, The Layman's Fics- you know the drill- and the one you've all been waiting for, and yes I know this, since you guys have been asking for this one since Volume 1.**

***drumroll* Rapey Lemons' 'Blood Rose'! Yes. This is happening. Just wanted you guys to know. You may proceed to squee to your heart's content.**

**Okay, enough rambling, let's get this chapter on the road because I'm running out of daylight here!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more magical girls in RWBY.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Emergence belongs to Chris7221.**

* * *

Team RWBY was in their dorm, huddled up on all manners of chairs and beanbags around Weiss' computer, reading the fic 'Emergence', of which they had finally gotten to Blake's arc.

Yang sulked, pouting and crossing her arms. "Hmph. Why do you guys get all the fun places..."  
Weiss blinked at her, looking at her in disbelief.

"I-I got a _warzone_! H-How is that a fun place?!"

"Point taken." The brawler nodded, holding up a finger. "Still, why does Blake get the fun place?"  
"Because I'm awesome." The catgirl shrugged. "And...no Gurren Lagann. WHY NO GURREN LAGANN?!"  
"Not everyone is obsessed with that anime, Blake." Weiss reminded her drily. "And neither is your canon self, of which he thankfully based you off of."

"...boring..." Blake sighed, continuing to read the chapter. She frowned.

"This is gonna suck. Wouldn't I be able to, you know, know they aren't actually Faunus?"

"Huh?" Ruby looked over at her.

"I mean, Faunus have a unique scent and all..." The catgirl noted. "I mean, probably something to do with the shenanigans that got us teleported to Earth in the first place, but still..."

Weiss nodded. "I take your point. Perhaps such a point was left out, whether by accident or on purpose to create a better story."  
"I suppose."

Ruby munched on some cookies, giggling. "Well, at least you got a bunch of cosplayers."

"I can just imagine the hilarity if they were RWBY cosplayers..." Yang chuckled. "Man, that'd be funny..."  
"The antics from that would make me want to kill myself from that madness..." Weiss facepalmed. "I swear..."

"I...simultaneously want to give myself a hug and punch her in the face to get her to be more manly." Blake chuckled. "Mainly a hug."  
"I know what I'd do if I met myself anywhere..." Yang chuckled. "Even if she was a cosplayer..."  
Weiss glared at her. "...come on, is there NOTHING sacred anymore?!"

"Nope! Being perverted is fun!"

"For you."

Blake grumbled. "Oh, I know I'm going to hate this...so Ruby gets the understanding college students, Weiss gets the badass young refugee girl, and I get the clueless idiots?!"  
"Karma." Weiss said matter-of-factly. "We have to deal with your obscure anime references nobody gets, so you get to end up with a bunch of people who don't get you."

Yang pouted as she read the next chapter. "Oh, man...I'm jealous now. I wanna go to Japan!"

"What, so you can go perv over your anime idols or something?"

Blake nodded. "She has a point. I'd want to visit, say, Inaba. Or Mitakigahara. Or Kamogawa, now that you mention it. Akihabara would be pretty cool too."

"Sadly, we can't visit those because Elf's never been to those places before." Yang frowned, sighing.

The heiress sighed, looking over to Yang. "What are you even talking about? Once again, I can't understand you!"

Blake ignored the argument between Yang and Weiss and continued reading to the chapter whereupon her story self discovered the RWBY wikia.

"Note to self: acquire autograph from Miss Zech if I ever meet her." Blake made a mental note. "You think that ever happens to people, Yang, where fictional characters get their voice actors to give them an autograph?"

Yang shrugged. "That would...probably be headache inducing."

"You morons broke whatever this 'fourth wall' thing is so much already, I'm surprised you incompetents STILL get a headache from this meta thing you keep talking about!" Weiss snapped irritably.

"But the fourth wall's so fun to break!" The brawler protested. "I'm deliberately not making puns, for example, because my VA's known for that! So I want to screw with the fans' expectations and not make too many puns!"  
"JUST SHUT UP!" The heiress grumbled, before sighing in exasperation. "I don't even...just...I'm done, Yang. I'm done."

Blake chuckled. "Ohohohoh. My story self definitely needs a punch to the face to make her more manly."  
"And Blake, why is your response to any incarnation of yourself in a story to punch it in the face?" Weiss glared at her teammate.

Blake scoffed. "I prefer not angsting about damn near everything, thanks. I've watched enough Evangelion to know what happens when you do.

In all honesty, story!me, you are a _moron_. I mean, sure, take some time to think, but come on, at least _wait_ for Weiss and Ruby to explain things! How are you going to find Yang?! Dammit.

And this, dear Weiss, is why I cringe at my canon self. Even if she is moe enough that I want to hug her and never let her go."

Ruby shrugged, looking to the heiress. "She has a sound point. Can't argue with that."

"At least it makes sense, but I do agree with her sentiment." Weiss nodded. "She could at least have waited for someone to explain the nonsense before going off into despair."

Blake crossed her arms. "I can see why she did it, but I still disapprove...okay, enough ranting at my story self holding the idiot ball, let's go read some more!"

* * *

"...I know I should be having a headache from reading this, but I don't." Blake mused, reading the next chapter. "I'm reading about myself, having found she's a fictional character, while lampshading the fact that we're fictional characters."

"Still don't get it." Weiss grumbled.

Yang shrugged. "Eh. You'll do eventually."  
Ruby continued munching on cookies. "Could be worse."

"And...oh, come on!" Blake complained. "I have to stow away on a freaking cargo hold?! I'm manly enough to hold that, but seriously! That just sucks..."

"Whatever their security must be, it's terrible." Weiss noted. "Seriously, they didn't notice the catgirl in a large coat sneaking around a cargo hold with shadow clones?"

"The guards must be crazy." Yang chortled. "Or unused to dealing with badasses."  
"And RIGHTFULLY SO."

Ruby cheered. "Yay! Blake's with us! Oh, wait..."

"Huh?" Weiss looked confused.

"Um...Yang?"

"..." The brawler sighed. "I'm not going to like where I ended up, aren't I?"

"You...ended up with terrorists."

"Come on!" The brawler complained. "Seriously!? _I_ get the terrorists?! That's not even-come on! At LEAST give me a GOOD place to stay! Why can't I get a pet store?! Or a kitten farm?!

Why terrorists?!"

"I'd have thought he'd put me with them." Blake mused. "Being that I used to be in the White Fang, the parallels would be quite interesting."

"Point taken." Weiss nodded, moving to the next chapter. "Okay..."

The girls began to read the chapter, and Yang's eyes widened as she read her passage.

"What...oh..." She blinked, her cheerful expression leaving her face and being replaced with a disgusted grimace as more gore and death filled the scene.

"...that's...I'm going to...I think I'm going to be sick..."

Ruby patted her sister on the back comfortingly. "Don't worry..."

"I...that's just...no." The brawler choked slightly, rubbing her eyes.

Weiss stared at her, concern plainly visible on her face. "Are you _crying_?"

"I'm sorry...I'm just...I just don't..."

Before Yang could continue, Blake and Ruby simultaneously had the same thought and gave her a large, warm hug.

"It's just a realist fic, Yang. You don't have to worry..." Blake calmly reassured her. "It's fine, you didn't really do that."

"Yeah, it's not really going to happen." Ruby added. "Besides, the only way we're going to end up in another world is if Blake takes us there with the Lagann."  
"And I'm sure as hell not taking you to that world." Blake scoffed.

Weiss sighed, rubbing Yang's shoulder reassuringly as her contribution.

"I'm surprised this got to you, but I'll confess, I felt the same way when I read about myself in Donetsk. If it really troubles you that much, we'll take a breather from reading this, okay?"

Yang looked up at her, blinking. Her eyes were slightly red and tears were welling up. "N-no. I don't need a breather...I just need a moment.

Thanks, guys...I-I love you all." Throwing her arms wide, she hugged her entire team to her body gratefully.

Ruby squeaked slightly from the pressure, but nuzzled her sister. "Of course! I'll always be there for you!"  
"As will I." Blake reminded her. "Just who the hell do you think I am? I don't abandon friends."  
"I suppose I will, even if you do act like a moron." Weiss sighed.

Ruby glared at her. "Weiss!"

"I'm going to be comforting, not a liar."

"N-no, Rubes, it's fine." The brawler giggled. "That's about as heartfelt I'm going to get from her.

That means a lot."

The catgirl clapped happily. "Excellent! So! We've gotten through Yang's crisis, now to watch...ourselves being morons and wanting to throw ourselves into misogynistic xenophobic terrorist land!

That's an EXCELLENT idea, story us!"

The heiress rolled her eyes. "Way to kill the mood."

Yang sighed, chuckling at Blake's remark, rejoining her team and reading the fic with them. She smiled.

"Nice to know you'd go into a place like that for me, Rubes."

"I'd do that." The reaper said with complete seriousness. "Of course! What else do you expect?"

"Those college students have serious balls, trying to organise or start organising an extraction like that." Blake whistled. "I swear, they need medals or something."  
"...I wonder why there aren't more of these fics?" Weiss mused. "It's an interesting concept, if a bit...disheartening at some points."  
"Eh." Blake shrugged, continuing to read on with the rest of them. "It's a good idea."

...

"...damn..." Yang blinked. "...it's kinda...odd...reading about me doing torture when I know I couldn't...no, _wouldn't_ dare...

Right now, I just wanna give myself a hug. No perverted thoughts behind it. Just a plain, pure hug. She needs it."

"At this point, anyone would give you a hug." Blake added. "All I know is that everyone who wasn't Ruby or myself's gonna need serious therapy after this arc."

"Still..." Ruby had continued reading after Blake and Yang had paused. "...props to Joe and Nigel for pulling that off. Come on, they had no intel or anything and they pulled off extracting Yang from there!"

"Every Terran character in this fic who aren't a bunch of douches needs a medal. All of them." Blake declared. "I swear, one of these days, I'm going to pop into that universe and pin those damn medals to their chests if I have to."  
"Uh..." Ruby held up a finger. "They barely adapted to having superhuman teenagers show up and act like goddesses of war. I don't think they'll adapt to a giant mecha powered by _manliness_ showing up too well."

"Point." Blake sighed. "Still...I'm at least giving this a favorable review."  
"Agreed!" Yang nodded in assent. "I'm going to give this guy hell for making me cry, though..."

"Aaaaaand..." Ruby held up a finger in anticipation as she scrolled down the page. "Yaaaang's safely back with us! Woo! That makes four of us!"

"And yet I don't feel like the fic's over." Weiss noted.

Blake nodded. "Something's going to happen. Something big." She sighed as she looked to her teammates.

"So...who's leaving the review?"

* * *

From: **Little Sun Dragon-Sempai**

omd i love this fic it's amazing and realist and amazing

you made me cry tho pls dont i dont like crying

still good work keep it up

-love, yang x.l.

ps. im mad at you for not putting me in japan

* * *

Weiss sighed. "Well...that's done. So..."

"...can I be a pervert again? I miss perving on you people." Yang pouted.  
"N-no! Yang!" Weiss blushed, shaking her head, but it was too late.

Yang had already broken out the _interesting_ drawings of scenes between her and Ruby.

Needless to say, much mood whiplash and awkwardness ensued.

* * *

**END-I mean, OMAKE!**

_**Weiss Reads the Spacebattles Thread and Weiss Really Reacts**_

"...you mean this thread's posted on a forum?" Weiss looked over at Blake, who was munching on a tuna sandwich.

"Mhm. Spacebattles." The catgirl said, slightly muffled by the delicious fish in her mouth. "I'm on there as 'KaminaNekoFan'. Posted a selfie of myself there, too. Nobody believes it's really me."

"Huh." The heiress nodded, before grabbing her tablet and opening up the thread on her browser, scrolling down through the opening post.

"...Weiss...Really...Reacts?" She blinked. "...oh, dear Oum, please don't tell me this is about that stupid fic from that stupid Elf shipper moron."

"I think it is." Blake shrugged. "Read it. I haven't, so you can trust I'm not telling you to because it'll be funny.

It'll be funny anyway, but just so you know..."  
"Ugh..." Weiss sighed. "My curiosity needs satisfying. Damn you..."

...

* * *

The heiress felt her left eyelid twitch, having read the small Aside.

"What...in the name of Oum did I just read?! Was that supposed to be an approximation of my rage?!

She has some points- that stupid fic is terribly written and inaccurate and stupid! But my rage is better articulated! I do NOT spell like an incompetent when consumed by anger! Just...argh Ihatethatstupidjerkfacenow..."

"Marie much?" Blake whistled.

"Who?" Weiss inquired, before shaking her head. "...and now more people know about that stupid fic. Great. Now more people will stalk us.

And whoever posted that comment about me reading this thread...they have a strange sense of prescience."

"True."

Weiss sighed in frustration, placing her head in her hands. "I am disappointed in this man for writing about this stupid fic! Even there I can't escape it..."

"Nope~" Blake smirked. "You're doomed~"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: To that guy who said Weiss would be reading the Spacebattles thread, I dedicate the above omake.**

**So, a huge shoutout to Chris7221, who gave us the opportunity of doing this remarkable fic- hopefully I might convince him to allow me to do a retake featuring his next act- as well as the usual shill- his fic is just better, really- and if you're reading this, you're awesome!**

**Next chapter, Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs, Part 2! Yes. It's on. Again.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your reviews, ideas, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	16. Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs 2, Pt 1!

**Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs; the Sequel, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Woo, have we got a...very...ahem, weird chapter today, being that in my usual need, I had to figure out how to top the last time we did this. Which we...hopefully did this time. I dunno. You guys are the judges of whether or not I topped the last standoffs chapter.**

**Yes, there will be more Fuckslayer. Blake loves that thing. And more metal. Maybe. Since I might as well...let's get this chapter started and the disclaimer might spoil a little of what this chapter's actually about-**

**Just kidding, did you think I was going to spoil it that easily?**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Sun would be a (terrible) gamer.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**All songs belong to their respective artists/bands.**

* * *

"...you know, you guys." Blake said, leaning back on a black cat beanbag. "You guys are bored, right?"

Ruby blinked, looking over at her teammate. "Uh...no? not really. I'm pretty content, actually."

Weiss shrugged. "Nah, not really."

Yang giggled, casually drawing yaoi on her desk. "I can entertain myself~"

The catgirl sighed. "You guys are boring." She glugged down a can of a strange brand of energy drink.

"What are you-" Weiss raised a finger, about to ask, but Blake cut her off.

"Kamogawa Energy. I had a box delivered. Also, you guys want some Morning Rescue?" The catgirl offered.

"I...don't know if that's another anime reference."

Yang shrugged. "Nah, at least one of those things is real. There is actually a Morning Rescue drink. They stock them down at Junes and that other import store."

Blake sighed irritably. "Guys, I want to do something! I want to do something FUN! Even if making a run down to Junes for Morning Rescue! Come on!"

Weiss glared at her. "Are you insatiably obsessed with manliness?!"  
"Who said anything about manliness? I just wanted to do something fun." The catgirl pouted. "You know...maybe we should sign up for a music gig."  
"A music gig?" Weiss stared at her. "You...realise we have to practice for that, right? We're not even a real band. Also, I'm the only one here with any experience with actual music!"

Blake shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I'm totally amazing at metal. As Yang knows..." She winked towards her partner, who grumbled.

"I still can't believe you made me dye my hair..."

Ruby raised a finger. "Well, actually...I've been practicing my bass since...the music festival. I kinda like those things."

"And I've been practicing drums in our spare time between classes and working with the giant mecha." Yang reminded her.

Blake nodded. "That'd explain the loud noises and smashing every time we do those stress tests."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Even so, we're hardly _professional_ musicians!"

Ruby chuckled. "You have a point, Weiss."

The heiress nodded, shrugging. "Yeah, how do you expect us to get into a professional gig?"

Blake snapped her fingers. "I've got an idea. We MAKE one."  
"And how do you propose we do that?" The heiress stared at her. "We're not e-oh, right, you got several thousand Lien for selling that Spiral thing to my father."

Ruby looked unsure. "Um...I'm pretty sure Student Council won't approve of that..."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Team RWBY stood in front of Ren in the Student Council room, who passed them back their event application form.

"Application accepted. The Vale MusicFest will be held in...a week and a half from today."

Weiss and Ruby shared a disbelieving look. "Ren, you're not serious."  
"I am." Ren shrugged. "Just as long as Cinder gets to be judge, she said it's fine. Oh, and you're funding it out of your own wallet, Blake , so it's fine."

"W-what's _Glynda_ going to say? What's _Ozpin_, for that matter, going to say?!" The heiress complained.

"Ozpin doesn't care as long as we don't kill each other, blow up the school or something like that. It's just a music competition, so it's fine." The gunslinger sighed. "Oh, and Glynda secretly likes these things, you guys know it."

Blake smirked smugly. "See? I knew I'd win."

"We just need two more judges. Cinder says we should draw one from one of the other competitors and another independent."  
Blake snapped her fingers. "I know JUST the person to recruit, if I know who's signing up."

"And how are you going to get people to DO this thing, exactly?" Weiss pointed out.

"By judicious use of the Gilligan Cut!" Yang concluded proudly.

* * *

_Hours later, again, in RWBY dorm.._

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "Don't tell me...you actually set up a stupid online ad and form."  
"Of course I did." Blake shrugged. "How else do you expect me to raise awareness about this competition?"  
"And you had to make it a stupid competition." Weiss sighed. "Blake, you're getting a _little_ ahead of yourself, don't you think?"

"Nope!"

Ruby twiddled her fingers. "Uh...we haven't had much practice since the festival...as a band, I mean."

Blake shrugged. "We'll start tomorrow. We'll find out about the lineup afterwards! Besides, we got a week and a half to prepare."

The heiress sighed, grabbing a nightdress from the dorm cabinet. "I can already sense this going horribly, horribly wrong." With that, she headed into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth."

Blake yawned, closing the browser and shutting down the computer. "Yeah, I'll close in for the night too."

Yang giggled. "You've got serious balls, going professional with just us."

"I trust you guys to be my manly backup." Blake winked. "I know we've got this."

"Awwww...you do love us." The brawler laughed as she turned around in her bed and went to sleep. Blake nodded as she climbed up.

"Right."

* * *

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the world..._

"What's that you're looking at?"  
"Hey, what's a 'Beacon'?"  
"Sounds like a school! Apparently one of their students put up an application form for people to go join a music competition. Should we join? I'm sure we can rustle up the money for a plane trip to Vale."  
"That sounds amazing! That would totally get us more famous! We should do it! And this 'Vale' place sounds cool!"

"I wonder if they have good cakes there..."

"Hey, quit fooling around! We've got to sign up for this thing! All in favour of doing it, raise your hands and say I!"

"I!"

"It's official, this'll be our first gig overseas! They even gave us a picture of who to look for if they needed anything! "

"Wait...is this girl some cosplayer? She's got cat ears."

"Who cares?! This is a good opportunity! I'm taking it!"

* * *

_The next day..._

Weiss woke up, yawning. "Ugh...that was strangely unrefreshing." She looked over at Blake, who looked as if she'd been awake for a long while, a bowl of Grimm Pieces cereal and milk to her right, checking the applicants to the festival.

"Madrigal...so we'll be seeing Emerald and Mercury there..." The catgirl noted. "...huh, team JNPR wants in? Okay...Sun wants in! Really?! Eh..." Blake scribbled down something on a piece of paper. "I don't like this, but it's nothing we can't handle...

And...Oum, is that supposed to be ATT or HTT? Eh...I'm going to go with ATT." Blake chuckled, rubbing her hands together. "Excellent. Adam's coming. At least that phone call to _her_ didn't go wasted. She'll show.

And I can kick his-"  
"Ahem." Weiss cleared her throat, causing the catgirl's gaze to dart towards her. "Blake, what are you doing?"

"Just staking out our competition." The catgirl stated nonchalantly. "That's all."

"...I already don't like this." Weiss grumbled. "Let's just get everyone up so we can practice for this stupid thing."

"Already ahead of you." Yang popped in from the bathroom. "Let's go. I think we can practice in Professor Amadeus' room." Lifting her custom-made guitar from the closet as she passed by, the brawler headed off out of the dorm.

Weiss sighed, looking over at the still sleeping Ruby. "We're not going to be ready for a long while, are we?"

"Just get your girlfriend out of bed so we can go practice a song or something."

The heiress grabbed a cookie-scented candle and wafted it over Ruby.

"Hey, sleepyhead. It's time to get up."

"Just...a couple more...minutes..." Ruby mumbled in her sleep. "...mom..."

"Mom?" Weiss blinked. _'Is she talking about...Summer?'_

"...oh...it's just Yang...sorry, I thought you were mom..." The reaper muttered.

'_Or Yin...that makes sense. Yin's her stepmom, after all...'_

"Ruby, get up." Blake called out. "We have cookies, cookie-flavoured ice cream and cookie-shaped cake."

Ruby awoke with a start, looking around.

"WHERE"

Weiss jumped back in surprise. "S-seriously!? She wakes up from that?!"

Blake giggled. "Excellent. Ruby, you'll get your cookie things as soon as we get one practice done."

The reaper pouted. "Awww...you're a meanie..."

Weiss rolled her eyes, passing Ruby her cloak. "Just change into something that isn't pajamas, please."

"Fine, but I better get cookies after this!"

* * *

_Minutes later, in Professor Amadeus' room..._

"Right, ladies." Blake said, passing out sheet music. "We're going to play a Blind Guardian song!"

"I actually have a good bunch of lyrics-" Ruby raised her finger, but Yang shushed her.

"Elf can't write lyrics, so you can't either. Oh, and he can't have the real Blind Guardian show up in a fic, so he has to have us do their songs instead."

"Do we HAVE to play a metal song?" Weiss complained.

"Of course! Metal is manly! We will triumph upon our opponents with manliness! It is certain!"

"...I don't even know why I bother arguing." The heiress sighed. "Right, who's the vocalist?"  
Blake nudged her head towards her. "You."

"What?! Why?!"

"You have the best voice here."

"B-but-"  
Yang shrugged. "It's true. You are the best singer."  
"I agree." Ruby raised her hand. "You're pretty good at it."

"I..." The heiress lowered her head, sighing. "I hate you morons."

Yang took her place behind the drums, twirling the drumsticks in her hands. Blake, meanwhile, pulled her guitar case- embossed with a golden pair of triangular shades- and opened it, as smoke streamed out to reveal...

Fuckslayer, the slayer of gods, the destroyer of ears and the manliest guitar known to man. All in the room felt the sheer might of the instrument emanating from it, such was its universe-rending power.

The catgirl picked the guitar and hugged it tightly, nuzzling her cheek into it and cooing to it.

"I love you so~"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Perfect, now you're acting like Ruby and Crescent Rose."  
"Don't insult Cress!" Ruby pouted. "And besides, he's only my second love! You're always first!"

"...I don't know whether to be offended or flattered that my girlfriend considers her trusted weapon second to me in love." The heiress remarked drily, but sighed, reading the lyrics and sheet music.

"So...Battlefield. Right." She cleared her throat, and nodded to Blake.

"Get ready."

Blake stood behind Weiss, flexing her fingers. "Here goes nothing..."

With a sweeping movement of her fingers, she opened the song's beginning chords, and all the girls felt the power of the instrument reverberate within their very beings, empowering them and strengthening them.

Weiss felt stronger, like she could belt out songs at the top at her voice without end. She opened her mouth to take in breath, before singing.

"_It can be seen that there's blood on the green! Only God knows I'm innocent! Take, take me home!_

_A dark seed reigns within me, like the storm rules over the sea! I challenge thee, do not cross this bridge!"_

_..._

"_Waaaar and anger shall reign! The clash of iron can be heard! By blindness you're driven insane...I'm lost in anguish and grief!_

_Sorrow won't wane 'till you die! A shattered body deeply hurt and darkness will cover the light..._

_...it's gone foreveeeevermore!"_ Weiss finished the lyrics, letting Yang and Blake round out the coda with a combined riff on the guitar and beats from the drums.

With the final beat, Weiss exhaled, shaking her head.

"I don't know how I managed that, I seriously don't."

"All that Rammstein singing must have really helped." Blake quipped. "You're pretty good at singing, I'll give you that. Both pop and metal."  
"Pfft. What did you expect? Nothing less from me." Weiss scoffed. "This is what I...well, used to think I was born for."

Ruby smiled. "Nicely done."

"Mr. Kürch himself would be proud." Yang chuckled. "Okay, guys, shall we do another, or do we take a break?"

Blake moved to speak, but suddenly, she held up a finger. "Wait."

"Huh?" The other three girls said in unison.

"Do you hear that?", asked Blake.

"No..." The brawler shook her head. "I heard nothing."

"It's...a loud gathering." Blake noted, her cat ears twitching. "Down on the ground flo-you don't think they're here yet, the competitors? I can see Adam's band, Madrigal and Miku getting here early..."

"Perhaps they just wanna scout out the venue." Ruby shrugged, slinging her bass off and carefully propping it up against the wall. The other placed their instruments aside and left the room to head down to the front gate to see what all the hubbub was.

When they arrived, a huge crowd had gathered around the gate, with some squees audible.

Blake blinked. "...must be Madrigal or something. Adam's band isn't this popular."

"Uh..." Ruby raised a finger. "I don't think Adam showed up."

"Huh?"

"I don't see anything...too White Fang-like."

"Good point, they do use a LOT of their imagery." The catgirl nodded. "Perhaps...no, I've got to take a closer look." With a swift movement, Blake grabbed her teammates and slid through the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse at their opponents.

This movement was stopped when Blake got to the front and realised what- or rather, _who_\- she was looking at.

The group seemed to be a bunch of young- not much older than team RWBY, in fact- girls, clad in casual attire, carrying a bunch of instruments and luggage with them. Had Blake not noticed what they were wearing, she would have written them off as uninvited guests. What caught her eye, however, were the coordinated brooches all four of them wore, proudly, on their chests, with a very familiar symbol that even in her obsession with mecha anime, she knew she could recognize.

She blinked in disbelief.

"Guys." Blake prodded Yang's shoulder. "Remember when I said I couldn't tell if it was ATT or HTT?"  
"Yes?" Weiss nodded slowly.

"...It was most definitely HTT." Blake stated. "Most definitely. We're screwed."  
"Why?"

Blake took a deep breath.

"Because it's freaking _Hokuago Tea-Time_ walking through Beacon's front gate, that's why!" Blake declared.

* * *

**END OF PART 1**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: K-On! belongs to Kyoto Animation.**

**A/N: You heard right. We're about to pit a band of moeblobs playing moeblob songs against a band playing the most manly songs on this good earth. Yes. The hints were slightly obvious if you picked up on the small hints throughout the last couple of chapters.**

**Also, because following up 'Battlefield' with 'Fuwa Fuwa Time' can be nothing but hilarious.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your ideas, reviews, comments, criticisms, suggestions and thoughts and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	17. Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs 2, Pt 2!

**Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs, The Sequel; Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! And yes, the insanity has been ramped up with freaking Hokuago Tea-Time showing up to school Blake in musicality! This looks like it'll be fun...for me, that is. Kukukukuku...**

**Maaaan I'm going to enjoy this. A lot. Hahaha. Ahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

***clears throat* Okay enough ominous evil laughter, now it's time to write boring chapter that you guys will probably hate anyway. I dunno. *shrug***

**Self-deprecation awaaaaay!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Cinder would be Lust. Come on. Tell me you didn't see that coming.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**All mentioned songs belong to their respective bands/musicians.**

**K-On! belongs to Kyoto Animation.**

* * *

"What?" Weiss blinked, looking between the girls walking past them, who were apparently Hokuago Tea-Time, and Blake, who looked slightly concerned.

"You know, Hokuago Tea-Time?" Blake gestured towards them again.

"I heard what you said." Weiss grumbled. "What I don't get...is who are they? Why are you so worried? They just look like a bunch of high schoolers. Not even older than us-"

"Who _are_ they?!" Minako popped up from nowhere, looking offended and wearing HTT badges, the familiar logo of the steaming teacup adorned on badges and hats all over her. "Why, just the most adorable band ever! They're adorable! Absolutely adorable!

Although one of their friends kinda sounds like me, which is weird, but you know, blah! This is amazing! Blake, you got them to-"

"Minako, please, explain to Weiss who they are in a manner that someone who doesn't care about anime does so she can see how screwed we are." The catgirl calmly stated.

"Oh, right, I forgot." Minako frowned. "Um...basically? They're cute schoolgirls- well, I think they're in college now- who started a band in high school and are pretty popular over in Japan.

That brown-haired girl at the front? That's their frontman, Yui. You'd do well to watch out for her."

"Is she a douche?" Weiss inquired.

"No, she's ditzier than Ruby and Velvet combined."

Ruby glared at her. "Hey!"

"Dear lord." The heiress facepalmed. "So Blake is worried about a group of moeblobs led by a complete- albeit adorable- ditz?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Blake grabbed her shoulders, shaking her in desperation. "They do this music thing _every day._ EVERY DAY! And they've done it for longer than Madrigal, who've only been around for three years- those girls have been at it since before we even WENT to Beacon!"

Yang scoffed. "Really, Blake?"

"Huh?"

"That's a bit...unmanly, don't you think? You're seriously going to let a bunch of unmanly moeblobs beat you?" The brawler teased her.

"...why you..." The catgirl glared at her, clenching her fists, before staring over at the band.

"S-screw your moe! Manliness will prevail! Stay back, you moe fiend!"

"Teehee! Bunnies!" Yui, unaware of Blake's tirade, was busy hugging a rabbit Faunus boy, who, by the looks of it, seemed to be in heaven at the moment, seeming about to faint in the grasp of the girl. Blake's glare only grew harsher.

"I swear...from this moment onwards, and until we win this competition...

Hirasawa Yui, you are my enemy!"

Weiss facepalmed. "Is she _serious_ about this? This...Yui girl, she isn't by any chance a magus or a Huntress, or a, Oum-forbid, a Persona user?"

"Nah. Just a normal girl. She's pretty good with the guitar." Minako explained, resisting the urge to squee at her favourite band's frontman hugging things adorably- plainly visible by her trembling, clenched fists.

"Great. So Blake has declared war on a ditz because she's apparently unmanly. Why am I not surprised?"

Blake slipped on her triangle shades. "I swear...team RWBY, we are GOING to beat Hokuago Tea-Time! We're going to prove that no amount of moe's ever going to beat being the manliest men ever!"

Yang cheered, pumping her fist. "Yeah! We'll show 'em!"

"Uh...I...err...I kinda wanna talk to Ritsu...and, um...get an autograph..." Ruby twiddled her fingers shyly, embarrassed. The catgirl glared at her harshly, making the reaper cringe.

"Are you insane?! We do not fraternize with the enemy!"

"S-sorry, s-sir! I-I mean, ma'am!" Ruby quickly saluted.

Weiss facepalmed for the umpteenth time in so many minutes, sighing in irritation. "You know what, fine.

I'm in, if only because the alternative is to let you idiots fail. If you make that poor girl cry, though, I don't know you. At all."

"Yeah!" Nora cheered, clad in a white shirt that seemed to be incredibly tight around the chest area, lederhosen, and a green hat with a red feather set to the right. She placed her right arm on her hip, and pointed to the sky. "I will achieve greatness! For the Great Pancake Sloth in Pancake Land!"

"Nora..." Weiss breathed heavily, trying not to lose her temper. "...why in the name of Oum are you in lederhosen?"  
"It's all part of the plan!"  
"Wha- you know what, I don't even want to know." The heiress threw her hands up in exasperation.

Nora nodded. "And as well you shouldn't! I'll go hug Ren now! REEEEEEENNNNN!" With that, the girl ran off, presumably to glomp Ren into a wall or something.

Weiss turned to her teammate, who was still leering at Hokuago Tea-Time. "Blake, please tell me you're not going to try to kill them."  
"Of course not! That wouldn't be nice. And it'd be unmanly. But I'll just have to beat their stupid moeblob moeness with the REAL force behind the universe! Manliness!"

"I'm not going to like the next couple of days, aren't I?" Weiss looked over to Ruby, who shrugged.

"Eh. If I get an autograph from Ritsu or Emerald, I'm happy."

"When did Emerald and Mer-oh." Weiss looked over to see a large crowd gathering around Emerald and Mercury, who had arrived almost the moment she spoke. Emerald, it seemed, was clutching her little Cinder doll, while Mercury was basking in the attention.

"Of course, the chances of that are stupidly high, them showing up literally seconds after me talking about them."

* * *

_Later, at practice..._

"Right, ladies." Blake passed her out a new piece of sheet music as they picked up their instruments. "We're going to need an incredibly manly song to counter the moe the enemy will likely bring out."

"...did you actually put this all down to a science?" Weiss stared at her. "Seriously?"  
"The balance of moe, badass and sexiness has long been an honored equilibrium in just about every universe ever!" Blake scoffed, as if such should be obvious. "Duh!"  
Yang nodded. "Yep. It's true. "You've got to have moe, sexiness and badassery. It's just the way things work."  
"Right..." The heiress shook her head, sighing and reading the lyrics she was passed. "What's this supposed to be?"

"A manly song by none other than..." Blake took in a breath. "Iron Savior."

"...this sounds like something my father would sing." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Really?"

"We HAVE to be manly to beat the moe! Don't you understand yet?!"

The heiress stared at Blake, but grabbed the microphone. "Okay, fine. Let's do this, I suppose.

Ruby, Blake, Yang, hit it."  
Blake nodded, pulling up Fuckslayer. "Right, ladies. 'Dragons Rising' is a-go!"

Blake and Yang opened up the song with its signature riffs.

Weiss calmly took a deep breath, before beginning to sing.

"_When I look at tomorrow...who will I be, what will I find? Seems I'm drowning in sorrow...everything changes, my life's redefined!_

_When I look at tomorrow...where will I go, what will I see? Seems I'm stuck in this hollow! Stuck in this heap, this heap of debris!_

_Oh there's a pain, deep down inside of me...ohh, I don't know, what is my destiny?_

_I've been the dragon and once I was strong! Look at me what I've become!_

_Now I see..._

_A dragon again I must be! I must regain what I lost long ago! The fires inside me still glow! To the skiiiiies!_

_The dragon again will arise!"_

...

"_To the skiiiiiiies! The dragon again will arise!"_ Weiss belted out, concluding the song and allowing Blake, Yang and Ruby close out the song with the coda, before sighing.

"...my father would listen to this song every single day..." She remarked. "It sounds a lot like his life."  
"Makes sense. He _is_ the Dragonslayer, after all." Yang noted. "But yeah, that song was awesome!"

Blake held up a finger, listening in. "Wait...do you guys hear that?"

"_...watashitachi no, kore ga precious heart beat, utau yo, treasure heart beat!_

_Listen!"_

This was then followed by heavy clapping. Blake clenched her fists.

"...the enemy is practicing in the room next to us." The catgirl mumbled. "And they have that damned moeblob Mio leading, too, judging by the voice..."

"Who was Mio again?" Weiss inquired.

"The tall, black-haired girl who looks really refined and beautiful. Y'know, like a typical yamato nadeshiko." Yang reminded her.  
"Oh. At least I can tell her apart from Blake." Weiss quipped.

If Blake heard the comment, she didn't say anything. "We'll never win without someone who can stand up to the moe! We need our OWN manly symbol! A manly lead!"

Weiss glared at her. "What, can't _I_ lead?!"

"You're a tsundere. People find you too moe to be manly." The catgirl dismissed her. "No...we need someone manly. Someone who exemplifies badass. Someone...who nobody would ever expect!

If people would expect someone like Mio to lead, then we can't have that!"

"Elsa?" Yang offered.

"No. She's too adorable. We can't do that. No..." Blake rubbed her chin, before snapping her fingers. "I've got the best idea."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"So." Sir Lyserg the gentlemanly Utahraptor looked over at Blake, sipping a cup of tea. "You want me to act as your mascot, yes?"

"Yes." The catgirl nodded. "We needed something that represented manliness and badassery to be our mascot to counter their moe. We thought a gentlemanly dinosaur would to the trick."

"I'm flattered." The dinosaur adjusted his monocle. "I agree to help you win your competition. I haven't had a lot of practice with my bass of late anyway."

"Sweet!" Blake cheered.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You're joking."

"I assure you, Lady Schnee, I am not."  
"And you and Ruby get to _ride_ on his back." Yang pouted. "Why don't WE get to?!"  
"Because we're promoting them and we want to make it look like even the less badass part of our group are more badass than everyone else."  
Weiss leered at her. "Do you _want_ to get eliminated?!"  
"I can take you and you know it." Blake shot back, smiling smugly.

Sir Lyserg sighed, adjusting his monocle once more. "Very well. Ladies Schnee and Rose, when would you like to begin the ride?"

Ruby waved her arms around, cheering. "Oh! Oh! Let's do it now!"

The dinosaur laughed, before lifting the girl onto his back, and then offering Weiss a hand.

She rolled her eyes. "...fine." Sighing, the heiress took Sir Lyserg's hand and clambered on to his back.

Blake produced two hats, passing them to Weiss and Ruby. "Oh, by the way, you're gonna need sailor hats."

"What?! Why?" The heiress grabbed hers, looking at it with distaste.

"Because we need to grab attention!"

"...I swear, Blake, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm supposed to be on your team, I would punch your lights out." The heiress grumbled and put the hat on.

"The things I do for this team..."

_Minutes later..._

Ruby and Weiss, donning sailor hats, rode out on their dinosaur comrade to find the crowds. Ruby was enthusiastically waving around, giggling. Weiss barely moved, more than a little irritated with the situation.

Meanwhile, a huge crowd of first years had gathered around the two famous participants, Madrigal and Hokuago Tea-Time. The former was taking autograph signings, with Emerald squeeing when she found Cinder asking for an autograph and hugging her tightly, while as for the latter...

Mio seemed to be crowded with various students, male and female, squeeing at her apparent adorableness. From what Weiss could see of her very embarrassed face, she wasn't too pleased with the attention.

"Blake may have a point..." Weiss grumbled. "That crowd looks bent on squeeing at her. Bunch of perverts..."

"Oh, relax." Ruby chuckled. "We've got this." Taking out an air horn, Ruby raised it into the air and blew it, attracting people's attention to them and turning the crowd away from the others. Emerald didn't seem to care, as she was too busy hugging Cinder. Mio just looked relieved that the tension was taken off of her, wiping her brow in relief.

"Whoa..."  
"...they're riding on a dinosaur!"  
"T-that's cool!"

"Can I ride?! Can I ride?!"

The reaper smiled at her girlfriend. "See? That worked perfectly."

"I suppose..."

Nobody noticed a pair of hands drag off Mio around the corner with a loud squeal.

"Relax, boys." Blake casually stood up in front of her teammates. "You'll all get your chance. We're just here to promote team RWBY! We're the manliest, most badass band around here! We'll do the impossible! Break the unbreakable! We'll make your ears explode!"

Just _who the hell do you think we are?!"_

"Hey, guys!" A loud, energetic voice Ruby recognised as Ritsu shouted out over Blake. The entire crowd looked over to see a _very_ ashamed Mio clad in a maid costume, trembling and shivering adorably.

"U-um..."

Sir Lyserg, Ruby and Weiss were abandoned in a heartbeat.

Blake's eyelid twitched as she watched everyone gather around her opponents. "T-that's...I don't...what?!"

"We'll beat them in the music contest." Ruby said, watching the crowds fawn over the moeblobs. "We'll beat them there."

"Why do I feel like that's a pointless endeavor?" Weiss remarked.

"It's not! Just WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?! I won't give up just yet!" The catgirl roared. "We're going to practice day and night! DAY AND NIGHT!"  
Yang shrugged. "Eh. We're gonna need to cut to the actual music thing now."  
Blake stared at her in surprise. "WHAT?! WHY?!"

"Elf's running out of time and we already did all the good music practice jokes."

"But I-"

* * *

_The day of the MusicFest ..._

Team RWBY stood behind stage, having finished watching Madrigal perform their hit song 'Like a Grimm in Heat' to rave applause. Blake rubbed her chin.

"Nicely done...but it just isn't manly."

"Your manliness strategy worked so well, didn't it?" Weiss remarked. "Every time you've tried something manly, those guys just come up with something to counter us! I mean, you tried to sell protein shakes and that Mugi girl just gave everyone cakes! We sold NOTHING!"

"Not to mention the fact that everyone's been buying more plushies of the girls than mecha merch."

Yang pointed out.

"It seems my help wasn't enough..." Sir Lyserg, a bass guitar slung around his neck, bowed his head in shame. "I apologise duly, Lady Belladonna."  
"No need." Blake clenched her fist, determined. "We WILL beat Hokuago Tea-Time! We CAN'T LET THE MOEBLOBS WIN!"

Weiss stared at her. "Are you sure you're not letting this get a _little _out of hand?"

"Of course not!"

"...right. You've been obsessed with beating them, and yet I don't think a single one of them has tried." Weiss noted. "Except maybe that tomboy who reminds me of Yang."

"Hey! I'm more awesome than Ritsu!" Yang retorted. "I have _taste_ in pranks!"  
"The day that happens, I'll see flying Boarbartusks." The heiress muttered. "Taste in pranks..."

Ruby chuckled. "Wait...is that Cinder and their old high school teacher fighting in the back row?"

She pointed over to the back row- where the judges table was-, where, indeed, Cinder and a brown-haired, bespectacled woman with a yellow sweater were pulling on each other cheeks and being pulled apart by Glynda and Ozpin. Vaguely, Ruby could hear them arguing on the likelihood of team RWBY's victory- the other woman considered it nil, while Cinder considered it definite.

"...props to Sawachan for having the balls to take on Cinder." Blake clapped. "But no props for not betting on the right winner. And here I thought she was fit to be a judge."  
"She's clearly going to be biased..." Weiss grumbled. "How did she get onto the panel anyway?"

"Bribery." Blake sighed, looking at the empty seat between Cinder and the other judge. "...and she was a no-show. Probably realised that Adam wasn't here..."

"And next up..." Fox, the emcee, called out. "Team JNPR, represented by Nora Valkyrie! Give them a round of applause!"

The hall clapped as Nora, clad in her tight-fitting shirt and lederhosen, skipped happily onto the stage, posing and clapping happily. She waited for the applause to dial down, before clearing her throat and flexing her fingers.

Weiss looked over at her teammates. "What is she doing?"

"It looks like..." Yang held up a finger. "I think she's-"

"Pancakes pancakes paaaaancakes!" Nora yodelled loudly. "Paaaancakes pancakes panpancakes! Pan! Cakes! Pan! Cakes!

Paaaancakes pan pancakes! Paaaaancakes! Pancakes pancakes paaaancakes! Paaaaaaaaaaaaaancakes!"

With a deep breath, she mustered one final whisper. "Pancakes."

She took a deep bow and skipped off of the stage. Needless to say, the audience was bewildered, as was Weiss.

"...what did I just..."

"I don't know." Blake shook her head. "Just...I don't...know."

"I'm hungry now..." Ruby complained.

"Uh..." Fox rubbed the back of his head. "...next up, Hokuago Tea-Time!"

The girls rolled onto stage to mass applause. Blake scoffed.

"Hmph. Moeblobs. You just have your moment. We'll beat you. Easily."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "At this point, you should know just to phone it in. We've lost this."

"Not true. We haven't had a chance to play yet!"

"Sshh!" Yang shushed them with her finger. "I'm trying to listen to their spiel before they start playing, you idiots!"

It was too late, however, as Yui had already finished her spiel, leaving only the song to be sung and played.

"_Kimi wo miteru to itsum haato dokidoki! Yureru omoi wa mashumaro mitai ni fuwafuwa!"_

Blake felt the sheer fluff and adorableness wash over her. She clenched her Core Drill tightly, shaking her head.

"No...the cuteness...I cannot allow it to influence me! I will win! I will win, dammit!"

"What are you..." Weiss facepalmed. "I swear, I don't even know what you're talking about half the time!"

"_O-ki ni iri no usa-chan daite kon'ya mo oyasumi!_

_Fuwafuwa TAIMU! Fuwafuwa TAIMU! Fuwafuwa TAIMU!"_

"Do you not FEEL the moe eating at you?!" Blake grasped her teammate's shoulders and shook her.

"G-get off of me, you moron! I will have you eliminated, dammit!"

Yang and Ruby merely sighed happily. "So...cute..."

Blake glared at them. "T-traitors!"

...

"_Fuwafuwa TAIMU!" _ With that, team RWBY was left to listen to the final chords, before watching the audience clap loudly, awed by the sheer skill of the singing and playing, in addition to whatever this 'moe' effect was that Blake spoke about.

Blake sighed. "I...we're going to need something stronger than Iron Savior to counter the moe."

"What do you mean 'stronger'?" Yang stared at her. "You can't get any stronger! We can't risk using Blind Guardian! That would destroy the school with Fuckslayer!"

"Correct. I have...however...a different band to play from." The catgirl produced several sheets, handing a lyric sheet to Weiss.

"Just sing that and keep to the rhythm."

"A _new_ song?" The heiress stared at her. "Are you mad?"  
"You managed it back in chapter 72 of volume 1, you can do it again here."

"B-but I actually CARED about that festival!"

"You care about this one too."  
"I-I don'-"

"And up next, team RWBY!" Fox announced, putting the girls on edge.

Ruby gulped. "W-well...this is it, guys."

Yang looked around, twirling her drumsticks. "Mhm."

Blake cracked her knuckles. "Yep. Lyserg, you up?"  
"As ready as can be, Lady Belladonna." The dinosaur nodded.

Weiss sighed. "Fine, I'll sing the stupid song. But you owe me after this."

Slowly, the girls took front stage, looking around and taking in the applause. All four of them collectively took deep breaths, preparing to play a new song.

"Well, Weiss..." Ruby looked over at her. "Here goes nothing."

"Indeed." The heiress muttered, before breathing in and beginning to sing.

"_Just give me a reason to keep my heart beating, don't worry it's safe right here in my arms! As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on..._

_Hold on!"_

The power of Weiss' voice in conjunction with Fuckslayer's Spiral Energy powered riffs would, normally, wow an audience and take them into a state of amazed awe from the very beginning.

However, it seemed this day, it didn't work too well. The audience seemed...still enamoured with what had transpired earlier.

Blake looked over at Weiss, giving her a meaningful look. 'Try harder', she seemed to say.

Weiss mentally sighed. _'Fine...let's do this. It's not my pride that'll be blown, anyway, if we lose.'_

"_I risk everything if it's for you! I whispered into the night telling me it's not my time and don't give up! I've never stood up before this time, demo yuzurenai mono itta kono te wo hanasanai..._

_So standup, stand up! Wake up, wake up! Never give up, kuru wa shimi hodo setsunai!"_

_..._

"_It finally begins..._" Weiss finished, bowing her head and grasping the microphone tightly.

The audience looked awed now, awed with both the sheer power of the song and its musicians.

They rose up and clapped, showering team RWBY and Sir Lyserg with praise.

Blake smirked. "See? I knew we would win-"

"And the winner is...by several votes, Hokuago Tea-Time! Second place is Madrigal! Third, team RWBY!" Fox announced.

The catgirl's mouth slid open in shock. "What."

She collapsed to her knees, looking to the sky. "NO! I LOST! MY MANLINESS FAILED ME! HOW COULD I LOSE TO MOEBLOBS?! MOEBLOOOOOBS?!"

Yang sighed. "Well, it was inevitable. It was a good try, but they had more experience than we did.

I'm going to go over and tell 'em 'good game'."

Ruby nodded eagerly. "Hey, me too. I want an autograph from Ritsu-chan!"

Weiss just crossed her arms, smirking at Blake.

"So much for your manliness."

"...I'm...worthless..." Blake pouted and curled up into a ball, despairing. "Moe has won over manliness...the impossible...truly has been done..."

Needless to say, though they did not win against their opponents, Weiss was thoroughly enjoying the results of the festival.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: That really did take far too long. Dammit. I need to remember there's something called 'bedtime'.**

**So, next time, Nora Reacts to Trollfics! Yes! This means Cornonjacob's hilarious fic that we mentioned a couple of chapters back!  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	18. Special Chapter: Trollfics!

**Nora Reacts to 'Nora kills a bunch of everybody'!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Hehehehehehe, this'll be the hilarious chapter. **

**Now the world will know why it fears the name Nora Valkyrie. Or why everyone loves her. I dunno. I personally love Nora~**

**A huge shout-out to Cornonjacob, who provided the fic in question- while I don't advise it to people looking for plot, I do advise it to people who're looking for good laughs and trolling! **

**I dunno. Let's just get this chapter on the road before things get stupid.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Raven/Adam would be a thing.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

**Nora kills a bunch of everything belongs to Cornonjacob. I neither endorse its quality nor take responsibility for any asplosions you people suffer reading it. I feel obliged to warn any potential lookers that as it's a trollfic, if you're not too into gorn or lemons, just leave the reading to me and feel free to watch everyone else's reactions to it instead.**

* * *

Ren leaned back in his chair, popping another maple sweet into his mouth and looking at his screen closely. On it was a frame from a fighting scene between a brown-haired female in a long, black sleeveless robe with red gloves and a fairly large chest and a red-headed girl in a blue shirt with a similarly large chest, both about to slam into each other's fists.

"Right." He typed quickly on his keyboard, making several adjustments to make the fists clashing look to his specifications, rubbing his chin. "Hm. This animation business is really fun...but long." He sighed, stretching his fingers and saving the project in his 'animation projects' folder, next to the 'rwby fictionalization project' and 'funny halo machinima' folders.

"Ah. It's refreshing, taking a break from pranking people." Ren mused, closing his animation program and switching to Schnoogle Chrome. "Riiiight. Let's see what the fans are up to- wait...what the..." The gunslinger blinked.

"...Nora kills a bunch of...everybody?" The gunslinger paused, tilting his head. "I...okay, that title's unique.

Huh. I'll check it out." Curious, Ren began to read the fic.

"Okay...so...Oedipus...three-sixty noscoping people? Okay..." Ren nodded slowly. "...still...oh dear Oum."

Slowly, as he realised just what kind of fic it was, his eyes widened in horror and disgust, his head tilting at the almost anatomy-defying

"...Nora...must never read this." He muttered in horror, shaking his head slowly. "No...I will not permit my Nora to be corrupted by this. She's too innocent! I-I can't allow this!"

Jaune walked in, a hotdog in his hands. He looked curiously over at Ren, blinking.

"...what's wrong?"

"Jaune, I have seen a horror that this world cannot contain." Ren grasped his teammate's shoulders, shaking his head. "Even my stoicism cannot stand in the face of this madness!"

"W-whoa! W-what's going on! Ren! This isn't-g-get off of me!" Jaune pushed him off with his spare hand. "Calm down! Ren! Jeez!"

"I'm sorry, but this fic may well disrupt the valuable balance we've set up with the power of antics?

"Alright, Ren, I don't know what you're talking about, but-"

"Just. Read. This. Monstrosity." Ren shoved the boy onto a seat in front of the computer, forcing him to look at the fic.

Jaune slowly read it. His own eyes widened, shaking his head in horror, tightly grasping his hotdog when he realised he was about to drop it in horror.

"...no."

"You see what I mean?" Ren said in a hushed tone. "The balance of antics would be ruined forever if Nora were to take inspiration from this...I hesitate to call it a fic."

"Y-you're right about that..." The knight gulped, horrified.

"We cannot let Nora find out-"  
"Find out about what, Renny?" Nora smiled sweetly, coyly leaning into his side. Jaune jumped, having not seen her approach.

"...Uh...nothing!" Ren claimed quickly. "It was nothing, Nora. Honestly."

"Y-yeah." What Ren said!" Jaune chimed in hastily.

"Oh! Oh! Is it that fic you're reading?" Nora pushed Ren aside, reading the screen. The gunslinger's eyes widened in horror, before he grabbed his girlfriend, pulling her away.

"N-Nora, I can't allow you to read that fic!"

"Why nooooot?!" The girl pouted, struggling to hold on to the table. "I-I want to read it!"  
"I'm serious, Nora, this could have serious repercussions on your psyche and the world of antics if you do!"

"But I wanna read it!" Nora whined, still struggling.

Ren sighed, shaking his head.

'_Nora, I didn't want to have to do this, but I'm doing this because I love you.'_

"Then I will have to withhold pancakes for a month if you do not cease and desist!"

Nora gasped in horror, staring at her boyfriend. "You _wouldn't._"

"I would. You not reading this fic is imperative!"

"Fine, Renny, if that's how we'll play..." Nora smirked smugly. "...then I'll withhold cuddles."

Jaune laughed. "Is that all, Nora? Ren, you've-"  
"I surrender." The gunslinger sighed, putting his hands up in defeat. "Fine. I warned you, Nora, but if you insist. Just...please, don't take hugs away. I'll even make you pancakes for dinner."

The knight stared at him. "R-Ren!"

"I...I can't live without her hugs, okay?!" Ren protested. "She's just...I can't live without them."

Nora smiled cheerfully. "See, Renny? That wasn't so bad! Now...what was so bad in this fic that I couldn't read it, anyway? It can't be that bad, right?"

Ren and Jaune looked to each other, gulping.

"Well...Jaune..." Ren nodded to him. "It was nice knowing you."  
"Same to you." The knight responded. "I leave all my belongings to my sisters."

"I leave mine to my father and Euphie Arc."

"Why her?"  
"You know me."

"...she's my _sister._"

* * *

Nora blinked, finishing reading the first chapter.

"..." Her expression was unreadable.

Ren and Jaune peered out from behind the small barricade they'd set up on the other side of the room with chairs, hoping that those would stop Nora's rampage, should she break out into one.

"I-Is she...going mad yet?" Jaune whispered to his teammate.

"...I've got Cinder and the rest of the Antic Order on speed dial if we need to control the situation." Ren said quickly. "If this goes wrong, we will need everything and everyone we got.

We'll need to put in the Anti-Suzumiya Protocol."

"The heck is an Anti-Suzumiya Protocol?" Jaune looked at him, confused.

"A unique set of protocols based on countering potential Suzumiya-level threats." Ren explained. "Like the trope namer herself, Nora, Homura..."

"...I don't know if that's hilarious or just insane."

Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted by Nora's abrupt laughter. Slowly, the gunslinger poked his head over the chairs to see his girlfriend doubled over on the chair, clutching her stomach in laughter.

"This fic..." The girl managed to wheeze out between laughs. "...is such a troll..."

"...it didn't affect her?" Ren blinked."What?"

"...pfft." Nora scoffed. "You really thought that fic would affect poor little me?" She giggled, motioning for Ren to move close. He did so with trepidation, slowly walking across to Nora and shuddering.

She hugged him tightly.

"Huh?"  
"I'm grateful you were so concerned~" She smirked. "But this...wouldn't affect me at all. It's hilarious, if anything~"  
"Is it safe to get out?" Jaune blinked.

Nora nodded. "Mhm! Now..." She grabbed Ren by the collar.

"You're reading it with me and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Nora," Ren sighed. "I'd prefer no-"  
"Nope!"

"Bu-"  
"NOPE!" Nora stared at him. "Nothing you can do about it~"

Ren and Jaune merely looked in muted horror at Glynda's unfortunate fate in the second chapter.

"Dear Oum..." The gunslinger muttered, disbelieving. Just how insane could this trollfic get?"  
Jaune had no words. His mouth, agape in shock, and his wide eyes said all that needed to be said.

Nora merely giggled. "I love this fic."

"...how can you enjoy this?! It's like watching a car wreck!" Ren cried. "I-I can't pull my eyes away, but I WANT to pull my eyes away! T-this is horrifying!"  
"I'm kinda sad I'm not having enough pancakes in this fic." The girl continued, seemingly oblivious to the fic's unholy warping of their characters. "I mean, all this noscoping and stuff is fun, but I want pancakes!"  
Jaune blinked. "...how is this girl immune to this insanity?! Seriously! I mean, how many times can a person mention..._that_ in one story?"

Ren sobbed quietly. "I regret ever taking that break...one thing is definite, though. We are never showing this fic to Weiss. Ever."

"Why not?" Nora smirked evilly. "She wouldn't mind~"  
"Nora, I like antics, but I don't want her brains to be melted from the insanity of this fic. I mean, we _live_ in a crack fic, but the insanity of this one..."

Nora giggled. "Oh, Ren~ This fic can only begin to see into my madness~ You've known me since I was we were little, you know I'm insane enough without needing to go into more...naughty things~"

"Ehehe..." Ren chuckled nervously.

"And you know I'll only ever save myself for you~" Nora smiled, winking at him before turning back to the screen. "That's why I don't really care what this fic says~

As long as nobody can have you, I'm fine with that~ Of course, if someone tried to take you away, I'd have to eliminate them." The girl shrugged. "It's only fair."

Ren shook his head, sighing. "...Nora, did I ever tell you that your insanity is the reason I love you?"  
"Oh, many times~"

Jaune looked around. "Uh...I think I don't want to read this thing anymore-"  
"No. You're reading it with me!" Nora glared at him, staring into his eyes with killing intent.

The knight gulped. "Y-yes, ma'am!"

"And that's your punishment for assuming I'd go crazy from reading this fic!" Nora smirked mischievously.

Pyrrha had the misfortune of walking in that very moment, looking at the gathering around the computer.

"Huh?" She frowned. "Jaune? Nora? Ren?"

"Ah. Pyrrha!" Nora grinned. "Just who I was looking for~"  
Ren looked at his teammate, shaking his head. "Run, Pyrrha. Run while you still can."

"Huh? I-I was just going to ask Jaune if-"  
"You just have to read this incredible fic with me!" Nora laughed. "It's _amazing._ It's called 'Nora kills a bunch of everybody'!"

Pyrrha laughed nervously. "Yeah...that sounds...amazing...in a very...erm, _different_ way..."

"You should read it with me!" Nora offered happily.

"Uh, actually, I wanted to talk to-"  
Nora grabbed her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes.

"Read. It. With. Me."

"...fine." Pyrrha shrugged, not affected by Nora's stare, but if it got her out of Pyrrha's hair for the moment, fine. She grabbed a chair and sat next to the group.

"Okay, let's read it!"

Nora giggled insanely.

"Excellent...oh, look, Fox is in this fic! And...ohohohoh..."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Pyrrha, Ren and Jaune stared at the screen in mutual shock, unable to believe what they just read.

Somehow, they had survived eleven chapters of the trollfic, unable to escape due to Nora. They simply sat frozen, staring at the screen, still uncomprehending of the sheer madness- or was it genius?- they had read.

Nora, on the other hand, was clapping quietly, her face lit up with joy.

"That...was the most amazing thing I've ever read."

"That..." Pyrrha managed to squeak out. "...was certainly something..."

"...something very..." Ren muttered. "...different..."

"Mhm..." Jaune nodded slowly, sweating nervously.

Nora cheered happily. "Now I get to leave a review like all the times Weiss and her team does this! Wait, I'm being rude! Anyone want to leave a review?"

None of team JNPR threw their hands up. Nor did they want to.

Nora pumped her fist.

"Excellent."

* * *

From: **PancakeSlothGoddessQueen**

i love you so much

you can have my babies

wait no my babies belong to ren

fine you can have my pancakes

and only one pancake

i love pancakes

-nora

ps. my team really loves this fic i think you should make more

* * *

Nora looked around. "Guys? Well? Should I send this to Weiss?"

No response.

She shrugged. "Okay!" She quickly shot off a message to Weiss sending off the link to the fic to her, before getting up and stretching.

"Well, it's been fun, but now I need PANCAKES!" Giggling, the girl skipped off to acquire the pastry, leaving the rest of team JNPR alone.

Ren slowly looked to Jaune.

"...I have a place in Vale we can hide out for the night so Weiss doesn't murder us."  
"Yeah, I'll take you on that offer."  
"I'll stay with team CFVY." Pyrrha sighed, beginning to gather her things to flee the dorm for Weiss' inevitable vengeance.

_Meanwhile, in RWBY dorm..._

Weiss was casually browsing the Dustnet, looking for things to do. She sighed.

"Maybe I should consider doing that idol thing Yang was talking about. Cert- wait..." She looked up at the screen as an email from Nora arrived.

"Huh?" The heiress opened it, seeing only a link to a fanfic.

"...I shouldn't trust this..." Weiss sighed, looking around shiftily. "...but I've got nothing to do, and it's Nora. She's not Yang or something. She'd never link me something stupid. Right?"

The unfortunate heiress opened the link.

Minutes later, the raging screams of the anguished, embarrassed heiress could be heard as she prowled the halls, hunting for Nora's blood.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's done. Poor team JNPR and Weiss.**

**I must stress, the fic we did this chapter is **_**not for everyone.**_** I mean, yes, this applies to all fics I review, but this one is a trollfic which, while hilarious, has some parts which I don't advise everyone to read. All the same, a huge shout out to Cornonjacob for letting us feature his fic!**

**Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to...*drumroll*...Animecon. Speaking of which, I missed the real one in London. Which irritates me to no end. Because Rooster Teeth went. And several other people of whom I am a huge fan of who I will not bother you about because you either do not care or I will probably take up these author notes ranting about missing it and man I'm still sore about it.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, suggestions, criticisms and thoughts and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	19. RWBY at Animecon: Winter Edition, Part 1

**RWBY at Animecon: Winter Edition, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Woo! This is it! I think! The second time we've done this! Yep! Also, a little heads-up; we're just over a month away from Weiss Reacts' first birthday! Woo! That's right; it's almost been an entire year since Weiss Reacts was first released! In preparation for that, we'll have an anniversary chapter lined up for the day Weiss Reacts Volume 1 was released; January 28, Wednesday. Keep your eyes peeled for that date!**

**Now that that's settled, let's get this chapter on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Adam would probably have a Semblance called the Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Hey, guys!" Yang busted into the room, waving around tickets. "Guess what I got!"

Weiss was still slumped in bed, tired from the events of yesterday- which had involved chasing a horrified Nora around school while screaming about perverts- a white, snow-patterned sleep mask covering her eyes. She turned over in bed, away from where she thought Yang's voice came from.

"No."

"Come on!" Yang pouted. "Weiss-"

"It's _six in the morning._" The heiress grumbled. "Go away. How in the name of Oum are you awake anyway?!"  
"I just got tickets to the Winter Animecon!" Yang cheered happily. "I managed to get them literally just when they came on sale, too!"

"...when is this stupid Animecon anyway?" Weiss grumbled, pulling her eyemask off and rubbing her eyes. "Also, how long were you up last night trying to buy those tickets?"

"All night!" Yang announced proudly, holding up a thermos of coffee, before thinking carefully. "Well, actually, I didn't _buy_ them last night, I had them physically delivered here. I actually bought them months ago..."

"...we're letting Blake drive and I don't care how crazy she drives. I'm not letting you anywhere near the wheel of a car until you get some sleep." The heiress sighed. "But still, why the effort?"

"It's my Christmas gift to everyone." Yang winked, smiling.

Weiss blinked. "_You_ bought tickets for everyone?"  
"Of course! It's my...err, combined apology gift and Christmas gift for all the times I pranked you!" The brawler laughed, hugging Weiss tightly.

Weiss struggled, unused to the hugs. She managed to wheeze out a request to be let go.

"...y-you're...crushing...me..."

"Oh. Sorry." Yang relinquished her, dusting her off. "I just...you know...you're technically my little sister now, so..."

"I'm hardly _married_ to Ruby." Weiss scoffed. "Not that I don't plan on being so."

"See? You're practically one of us!" Yang smiled. "And I realised that since you're going to be my little sister-"  
"I'm barely a month younger than you, moron-"  
"That I have to treat you like one!"

"So..." Weiss inquired hopefully. "No more antics?"

Yang merely broke out in laughter, before smiling.

"Not on your life, Schnee."

"...that's comforting." The heiress sighed. "...but...I suppose I...might care about you. Slightly."

"That's the spirit!" Yang cheered.

Ruby stirred, looking down at her sister and Yang. She lifted her sleepmask, looking down at the girls, discarding her Cookie-chan plushie.

"Ugh...guys...it's six in the morning..." The reaper croaked out, pouting. "What's going on?"

"We got the Animecon tickets!" Yang cheered.

Ruby's eyes widened. "What, seriously?"

"Mhm!" Yang gave her a thumbs up. "Aaaaand guess what? We're gonna show up in cosplay!"

"...you realise I don't have a cosplay, right?" Weiss reminded her. "I'm probably not going to-"  
"Well, actually, I bought you a Fiora cosplay~" The brawler corrected her. "We'll be going at ten. Oh, and team JNPR are coming. As are Velvet and Minako."

Weiss blinked, looking to Ruby. "Is Fiora skimpily dressed?"  
"Fanservicey, but not in the barely-clothed sense." Ruby nodded. "You'll be fine."

"...hmph." The heiress grumbled. "I suppose I'll take it. But...I want to take a nap first. I need my sleep." She climbed back into bed to sleep for a couple more hours.

Ruby yawned, slipping her mask back on and grabbing her cookie plushie. "Yeah, me too. Later, Weiss, sis." She turned back to her bed to sleep, leaving an indignant Yang.

"Hah!" Yang crossed her arms, smiling smugly and brandishing her coffee thermos. "Mortal. You need sleep...but I am trained! I'm festival ready!

I'm-"

* * *

"Zzzzz..." Yang lay asleep in Blake's lap as Ren drove the Yangmobile to the Vale Convention Center.

Weiss rolled her eyes, fixing her dyed black hair, making sure the tips remained red. Her normal clothing was replaced with an elegant breastplate and chainmail combo, with a cape on her shoulder cut into three strips, and her Myrtenaster completing the cosplay.

"Yang talked herself up and didn't even last the hour. She barely even got that...getup...on before she fell asleep." The heiress sighed. "Ruby, do you mind checking if this dye's wearing or not?"

Yang was indeed in a strange get up; a white shirt with a yellow corset, her normally loose hair twirled into twin curls, a light yellow hat on her head and a flower-themed orange gem in her hair. In lieu of her normal shorts and boots, she wore a skirt, black tights and long, elegant shoes to match her clothing. She curled up in Blake's lap, shifting slightly to support herself.

Ruby, who was next to her, was wearing a black school uniform in favour of her normal red and black hood and shirt, with her normally crimson hair covered with a platinum blonde wig with twin pigtails. Her beloved Crescent Rose was at her side, painted blue and white as opposed to its normal colors.

She looked over Weiss' hair, nodding. "Your dye's not wearing off."

"Oh, good."

Blake chuckled, patting Yang's head. "She acts so childish and yet she's the oldest of us. Perfect."

Blake herself was dressed in a plainer white shirt with a brown vest, a simply engraved buckler and a fake gun.

"..." Ruby nodded approvingly. "Homura and Mami?"

"We were meant to dress as Yukiko and Chie last time, but she wanted to try an Aigis cosplay." Blake shrugged, patting the buckler and inserting contact lenses into her eyes, covering her golden irises with purple.

She sighed. "If only I could hide my ears, this would be the-oh, wait." She whipped out a blue headband and casually slipped it over her cat ears, patting them flat. The catgirl nodded.

"Peeeeerfect."

In front were Nora and Ren- Nora had decided to cosplay as herself this time, while Ren hadn't had the money to buy a good kit for cosplay this year. Nora was babbling about pancakes again while Ren chuckled, focusing on driving the car- he took special care not to dent it. Yang loved this car almost as much as she loved her bike and if it was damaged, all the antics in the world would not save him.

Pyrrha and Jaune were sitting in the back with Minako and Velvet. Pyrrha and Jaune, finally, were dressed as the people they promised to be dressed as; Jaune was dressed as a female knight, his hair covered with a wig extending to a long ponytail, while Pyrrha's hair was under a net and covered with a wig to make herself seem boyish, her chest bound, and her normal attire replaced with a blue shirt and khakis.

Opposite, Velvet lacked a cosplay- Vivi, indeed, was sitting on her head and crossing her arms at the lack of cosplay-, but Minako's hair seemed shorter and she wore a pair of red-rimmed glasses, with a navy blue school uniform and her Evoker holstered somewhere to her hip.

"Coco said she had to use my cosplay stuff for something..." Velvet complained.

"Pipipipipipi."

"S-she's my teammate!"  
"Pi!"

"B-but-"  
"Pipipipipipi!" Vivi pointed towards Weiss and then Velvet. "Pipipiiipi!?"  
"...you're right, I should've tried harder to impress Weiss-sempai." Velvet clenched her fists. "I should've tried harder..."

Minako looked over at her. "Hey, do you think these glasses suit me?"  
"I dunno." The bunnygirl shrugged. "They look alright on you."  
"For some reason, this feels strangely familiar." The girl mused, looking at the glasses curiously. "Have I worn these before?"

"I don't think so..."

"Pipipipi?" Vivi tilted her head, rubbing her chin with the stub of her plushie hand. "Pipipipi."

"That is a fair point, Vivi. It feels as if she has worn those things before..." The bunnygirl nodded slowly.

* * *

Minutes later, Yang stirred in Blake's lap, rubbing her eyes. "Urgh...are we on our way to the convention already?"

Ren nodded, barely sparing her a look. "Yeah. Everyone made me drive even though Blake has a driver's license too."  
"And I drive like a _REAL MAN!"_ Blake declared proudly.

"I would prefer to keep my breakfast where it belongs- in my stomach." Weiss remarked.

"If you were a real man, then it would."

"If you knew how to drive like an actual person, then I wouldn't _need _to be a real man to survive getting into a car with you, dimwit."_  
_

"Touche, Schnee." The catgirl conceded defeat.

"Right." Ren pulled to the tollgate, paying the appropriate fee and driving into the parking center. "NOW we're here, Yang."

"Oh, perfect." The brawler pulled herself up so she was still on Blake's lap, sitting. The catgirl was blushing at this arrangement but if Yang noticed, she paid no heed.

The brawler rubbed her stomach. "Man, I'm hungry..."

Nora nodded quickly. "I haven't had my hourly pancake fix, Renny! And you know how I get when I don't have my pancakes!"

"Relax." The gunslinger pulled into a parking space, sighing and turning off the ignition after adjusting the handbrake, before pulling out a brochure.

"So, the convention's across two floors this year. Upstairs is the main con, downstairs are some of the bigger stalls and a food court. So, how are we doing this? Partners?"

"I'm not going with that _traitor. _Dressing like the enemy..." Blake glared at Minako, who shrugged.

"What, still mad because Yui wrecked you?"

Blake growled, her pride still wounded from having her beloved manliness fall to the charms of moe schoolgirls. "One day, Yui Hirasawa...one day."

"She didn't even notice you when she was here." Weiss rolled her eyes dismissively. "Give me a break."

"S-shut up!" Blake snapped. "Y-you don't know what it's like to have an archnemesis!"

"I'm pretty sure that that girl is too ditzy to _have_ an archnemesis, let alone have _you_ as one." The heiress scoffed, before turning to Minako, tilting her head curiously. "Who are you dressed up as anyway?"

"Nodoka." The girl clarified. "And these glasses really do suit me..."

Ren looked around, nodding. "Okay, that's convenient. Weiss, go with Ruby, Yang and Blake, Minako and Velvet with Vivi, Pyrrha with Jaune and me with Nora."

"I'll make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble." Pyrrha promised, gripping Jaune's arm tightly. He gulped.

"Y-yeah."

Ruby raised her hand. "I have a question!"  
"Yes?"  
"What's at the con this time?"

The brawler raised her finger. "I can answer that." Pulling out a brochure with the con's logo, she read through it carefully.

"The usual guest appearances...Rooster Teeth, etc, etc...showing off the new Persona game today...still don't know why they're doing that at an anime convention.."

Ren shrugged noncommittally. "Cheaper. Sponsoring and advertising costs for one con's expensive enough. Better just to shove everything into one."

"Point taken...oh, hey, they've got a Puella Magi shop this year! We're definitely hitting that one. Shame there's no Featherman this time..." Yang frowned. "Would've liked to talk to Yukari...she was nice when we talked to her last time."

"Oh, right, she comes to these cons now." Minako nodded. "Right. Well, I'm going to go hit the imported doujinshi stall. Velvet, you with me?"  
"Is there Weiss doujinshi?"

Weiss glared at Velvet. "Pervert..."  
"Yes." Minako nodded.

"I'M IN" Velvet hurriedly dragged Minako away, as the girl struggled to resist the bunnygirl's manic strength.

"H-hey! Watch it! This uniform was specially tailored!"

"I MUST HAVE THE DOUJINSHI NOW I NEED TO KNOW IF THEY WROTE ME INTO THEM" Velvet squeaked out, dragging Minako into a nearby elevator. Vivi, who was sitting down on her shoulder, sighed, crossing her stubby arms and shaking her head, still managing to maintain her balance despite the blinding speed of her insane mistress. By that time, Nora had already run off to acquire her beloved pancakes, as Ren sighed, shaking his head and following her.

"I'll see you later. I'd prefer to have antics I can control, and I'd prefer to keep going to Animecon. Letting Nora run rampant...not particularly conducive to that aim."

With that, the boy disappeared off into a crowd of RWBY cosplayers, dressed as team CFVY, heading off to somewhere or other.

Yang and Blake looked over at Weiss and Ruby. Jaune had already disappeared somewhere with Pyrrha- somewhere Weiss didn't want to think about, although knowing Pyrrha was nowhere on Velvet's level of perversion and insanity was at least of some comfort to her.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Yang inquired, holding the brochure in her hand as she read it closely.

Blake scrutinized it closely, rubbing her chin. "I want to head to the manga shop first. I hear they're having a reprint of the Gurren Lagann high school AU manga! And translated into English!" The catgirl squeed.

"And you know I've been _dying_ to find those for ages."

"Fine..." The brawler chuckled, shaking her head. "We'll head to the manga place first. You two?"  
"I wanna check out the video game places and then the Puella Magi shop. Apparently they're just testing that out this year but they'll keep it if people love it." Ruby said, excitement clear in her voice and eyes.

Weiss shrugged casually. "Eh, I'm fine with whatever. Let's go."

"Okay, we'll meet at the Puella Magi shop!" Yang declared. "That's a done thing! As long as Blake keeps away from catnip..."

The catgirl glared at her, crossing her arms. "Y-you know that was an accident and no fault of mine!"

"You'd better be careful this time, too." The brawler continued teasing her. "Pyrrha's around now~ And you know that we can't have you giving Jaune little smoochies this time~"

"Grrr...s-shut up!" Blake yelled and chased Yang off into the crowds, leaving the reaper and the heiress.

Weiss sighed, rubbing her temples. "Good grief. I may not have Velvet stalking me around this time, but I have a feeling this time's not going to end well for me."

Ruby took a moment to look around, making sure there was no Velvet about to pop out and grab Weiss, before chuckling.

"Weiss, you're so paranoid! Come on, just enjoy yourself for once. It'll be fine!"

"I doubt it...but fine. I still don't feel like everything's right..." The heiress shook her head and took Ruby's hand, walking off to the stairs leading to the video game center.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Pyrrha felt nervous as she clutched Jaune's hand and followed him around to what looked to be a K-On stall, judging by the plushies, posters and packs of cookies stacked on the desk. She sighed.

_'I...I will put my plan in today.'_ The spearmaiden thought carefully. _'Clearly, the Velvet approach hasn't been successful in achieving my aims...but I must prevail!_

_Today, we'll try a...new...tactic to get J-Jaune-kun to love me...'_

"Hm?" Jaune looked at her, feeling her trembling hands. ...Pyrrha, you alright?"

"Absolutely." She nodded, swallowing. "I'm fine."

"Right...you seem unnaturally...shaky today." The knight tilted his head, looking at her concernedly.

"I-I'm fine. It's just the weather...it's winter and all..." Pyrrha rubbed the back of her head, shades of pink filling her cheeks.

Jaune nodded. "Okay then..." He sighed and let her go, heading towards the K-On stall. Pyrrha gazed at him forlornly, sighing and clenching her fist.

_'Today...today will be my day! I WILL get Jaune-kun to go on a date with me!'_

* * *

**END of Part 1**

* * *

**A/N: Expect Part 2 later today. Oh dearie me this will be fun.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, suggestions, comments, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	20. RWBY at Animecon: Winter Edition, Part 2

**RWBY at Animecon: Winter Edition, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Sorry for the weirdness of updates, but I find myself incredibly pressed for time, what with these final weeks of school being the most insane, so I find myself trying to make updates happen when I can. Don't worry, the insanity should be over until about early April-June, so my schedule should be fine. Unless I decide to procrastinate- having acquired Fire Emblem: Awakening, Pokémon Alpha Sapphire and SSB4, I'll be pretty damn busy procrastinating~**

**oh right by the way all these games are to be reacted to. let's do this.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a RWBY MOBA (Ruby is best ADC).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Ruby looked around the store, adding cases of video games to a slowly-increasing bundle of same in her hands. She looked as if she was struggling, but the reaper seems oblivious to the weight of the items and merely piled more games on.

"They've got everything! EVERYTHING!" The reaper squeed happily, giggling to herself. "Looks like I can take a load off my wishlist..."

"If you don't bankrupt yourself trying to buy all those games, I'll be surprised." Weiss peered around, calmly gripping a basket. "Speaking of games, what games shall I buy myself...hm..."

Behind them, the cashier screamed as an impossibly tall, chalky white humanoid in a fine suit passed over a copy of Persona Q over the counter, fishing out a credit card belonging to 'Slen. D. Mann' and calmly passing it to the cashier with a shadowy tentacle, his impossibly long arms unable to lift too far in the small store.

Ruby and Weiss, of course, completely ignored it. They assumed it came from somewhere else in the convention, completely oblivious of the tall humanoid in the same room as them, casually horrifying people as he walked out.

"This is a pretty awesome store." The reaper squeed at her games, giggling.

The heiress examined some of the cameras and equipment. "...obviously." She smiled smugly. "This is a Schnee-run store."

"Your family runs everything." The reaper noted, chuckling. "For a man with an obsession with manliness and somewhat irritating obsession with manliness, I can't deny Father has good business sense." Weiss mused. "Alright. You have all the games you want now, right?"

"Mhm!" Ruby nodded happily, as Weiss took two games from the shelf.

"Right. Let's get these out of the way." She strolled over to the cashier, who looked shaken, staring towards the door, his eyes unfocused in terror.

"Sir? Are you alright?"

"...S-Slender..." The man managed to mutter out, before shaking his head and looking at Weiss, his eyes focusing. "Oh. Miss Schnee! Hello! How may I be of service?" "You look like you've seen a ghost." Weiss commented.

"You have no idea..." The cashier shuddered, before clearing his throat. "Now...hm. Are you paying for your friend?"

"I'm paying for myself!" Ruby waved happily.

The cashier chuckled at Ruby's demeanour. "Alright, hand over the games. I'll type them up for you."

The reaper frowned. "Hm...I wonder what the man saw that scared him so much?" "I wouldn't know. Probably Blake." Weiss shrugged as she passed over the games. "How much will it be anyway?"

"Luckily, it's a discount! One hundred twenty Lien!"

"Good Oum, Ruby..." Weiss sighed in exasperation. "Do you have the money for this?"

"Of course!"

"Thank Dust." Weiss sighed. "Are Yang and Blake done doing their shopping?"

Ruby checked her scroll briefly, before nodding. "Sis just sent me a message to meet in the Puella Magi store in fifteen minutes. They said they'd be waiting by the door."

"We should be there in ten anyway." Weiss nodded. "Perfect, everything's going to plan."

* * *

_Meanwhile...elsewhere in the convention..._

"Hm. So this is what they call a 'convention'." A tall woman, clad in a suit of lacquered black red-tinted armor and a small combat skirt, with a helmet resembling the head of a Nevermore, lowered a small Totoro mask down on a tabletop, removing her helmet and tucking it under her armpit.

Raven Branwen nodded in slight confusion. "I see. This...obsession with animated idols...amuses me." Sighing, the wandering Huntress looked up from her work and looked across from the stall she was at, patting her weapon proudly.

She wasn't here to enjoy the festivities, unlike most of the goers. No, that wasn't part of the reason she came at all.

For years, the woman had travelled the world for a worthy enemy of her blade. Thus far, only several had proven worthy of being called her opponent; the master of martial arts and Spiral Energy, referred to as Tukson, the headmaster of Beacon, Ozpin, the enigmatic alchemist Gretchen Faust, and the dreaded former patriarch of the Schnee family, Siegmund Schnee. No other opponent had ever successfully weathered Raven's blade, Caladbolg, for longer than minutes against her.

And yet here was one who claimed to be able to fight Raven. She was amused by the prospect, and yet more than a little enthused. It was a long time, indeed, since she had found a challenge in battle. Perhaps this one would actually fight- or indeed, have the courage to show up.

Raven searched the area for anyone standing out, anyone seeking a duel. Of course, being that it was an anime convention, various cosplayers, dressed as swordsmen ranging from Sephiroth to Guts to Dante, it was difficult to tell the ones with fake swords to the ones who didn't, but she finally found the one she sought.

The man had windswept brown hair with red streaks and small horns identifying him as a Faunus, almost like blood, contrasting with his white skin, itself tinted slightly redder than the average. He was clad in a black trenchcoat, a small rifle containing a sword- presumably the sword's scabbard was a rifle- painted black and red. His most striking feature, however, was the white, Grimm-like mask he wore, etched with red markings and four slits for vision, obscuring the top half of his face.

Raven calmly approached him, quietly moving the crowds out of her way and looking the man up and down. Judging by his sleek physique, very well trained. Judging from his mask, ex-White Fang. Judging by his weapon, possibly Hunter-trained or self-trained.

A threat to be reckoned with, but nothing Raven hadn't seen before. She scoffed.

"So, you're the person who contacted me for a duel?" Raven inquired, lifting an eyebrow. No response from the masked man apart from a curt nod.

The silent type. Raven was starting to like this guy.

"Mind at least gracing me with a name to remember?"

"Adam."

"Adam...I'm not quite sure if I've heard that name before." The wandering Huntress quietly muttered to herself. "Regardless, shall we take it outside?"

"No. We fight in here." Adam said quickly.

"...there are other people in here. What makes you think that's a good idea?"

"Then they should get out of the way. A real fighter fights where he pleases." The Faunus scoffed.

'_Arrogant.'_ Raven mused mentally. _'Easy enemy.'_

"You challenge me. I pick the venue. That's how it works."

Adam sneered, placing his hand on the hilt of his weapon. "Hmph. More of a coward than I thought, Raven."

Raven looked around at the still unaware passersby. She wanted a duel, not a bloodbath- she needed to move this fight, and quick.

"Very well." Raven calmly put her hands on her own hilt. "If you insist-"

Before she could finish, Adam pulled the trigger on his rifle-scabbard, launching his blade out. He grabbed it and slashed it at Raven with blinding speed within seconds.

"And so I-"

_CLANG!_

Wilt had met its match with Caladbolg. Adam's chokuto clashed with Raven's katana, deftly wielded to block it's opponent. Raven looked unperturbed- indeed, she was almost amused.

"And so you end this? Hardly." Raven smirked, before pushing Wilt away and opening a portal with a rippling slash. Within seconds she grabbed Adam and hurled him into it, before jumping in and closing it behind her.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Huh." Jaune examined a Ritsu plushie, turning it over in his hand and placed it back down on the table. "Interesting, they actually sell these now. Pretty cool."

Pyrrha nodded slowly. "Mhm." She looked shiftily around, hoping nothing would interrupt her plan being put into place. No incoming antics, thankfully.

Perfect.

"Listen, Jaune." The spearmaiden cleared her throat to grab his attention. Jaune fixed his bracer carefully and looked back at her.

"Yes?"

"There's...something...I've wanted to say, for a while." Pyrrha said, shyly twiddling her fingers. "I-I don't know if you'll want to hear it or-"

"Go right ahead." The knight smiled. "Always happy to hear it, even if you do weird stuff sometimes."

"Well,actually, the whole purpose of this was to not do the weird stuff anymore."

"Huh?" Jaune tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"What I'm trying to say, Jaune..." Pyrrha uttered, blushing heavily and twiddling her fingers even more. "What I'm TRYING to say...is..." She looked away, shaking her head. "I-I can't do this..."

"No, no, wait, what is it?" Jaune gave her a concerned look and pulled her face lightly towards him. "What's wrong?"

She blushed even more, looking down in shame. "J-Jaune-kun..."

"Well?"

"I-I...I-I want..."

"Huh?"

Pyrrha swallowed, breathing in deeply to muster her courage. This was it. This was her moment.

'_This is it, Nikos...we can do this. We can do this!'_

She closed her eyes, clenching her fists tightly. "J-Jaune-kun...I want t-to-"

"WATCH OUT!" Minako could be heard crying from nearby. Pyrrha opened her eyes to look in the direction it came from, along with Jaune, to see Velvet rushing towards them on a Dust-propelled shopping cart, clutching Weiss doujinshi.

"SEEEEEEMPAAAAAI!"

"GAAAAH!" Jaune tried to leap out of the way, but it was too late. Velvet slammed into him, sending him flying and knocking him unconscious as he landed in a nearby stall selling hotdogs. The bunnygirl sped past, shouting apologies as she clove a line through the crowds.

Pyrrha sighed, shaking her head. "And just when I was going to put my plan into action, too..."

Minako caught up to them, frowning. "Man...I knew I should've kept an eye on her! What happened?!"

"She knocked out Jaune by hitting him with a cart."

"You were about to ask Jaune out, weren't you?"

Pyrrha glared at her, blushing profusely. "D-don't say it so loud!" She then looked away, sighing.

"But yes...yes I was."

"That's a shame..." The girl patted Pyrrha on the back. "Maybe next time. You can do it."

"Hm...thanks..."

Suddenly, several metallic clangs- like the sounds of clashing swords- rang out throughout the convention center. Minako and Pyrrha looked up.

"What do you think that was?" The brunette adjusted her glasses.

The spearmaiden shook her head. "Not a clue. We had better check." Minako ran ahead, leaving Pyrrha frowning at the unconscious body of Jaune. She sighed.

"One day, Jaune-kun..."

* * *

_In the Puella Magi shop..._

Ruby and Weiss casually looked around the shop, examining the various props and clothes based off of the ones from the show; Kyoko's chain spear, Sayaka's favoured sword and Mami's elegant musket hanging prominently on the walls- and various plushies of the main characters.

Weiss blinked. "For such a dark show- from what I know about it-, you'd assume they'd have less...cutesy merchandise." She picked up a Kyubey plushie, blinking at it." Much less cutesy."

"Part of the irony." Ruby mused. "Also..." She picked up a Charlotte scarf, wrapping it around her neck. "What do you think?"

"Inappropriate." Weiss shook her head. "I mean, come on. The Dessert Witch?"

"Hm..." The reaper frowned. "It's a hilarious idea...wrapping the thing that made Mogu Mogu a meme around your head..."

"What?"

"Series in-joke. You wouldn't get it." Putting the scarf back, Ruby looked around. "Where ARE Yang and Blake anyway?"

"They said they'd be here soon." The heiress responded, checking her phone. "No sign of 'em."

"Oh! There they are!" Ruby pointed to a pair of girls dressed as Mami and Homura over by the entrance, standing around and looking at the goods on the walls. "Hey! Yang! Blake!"

Weiss looked over at the girls, looking them over briefly before grabbing Ruby's shoulder.

"Wah!" The reaper cried out. "What gives?"

"They're not Yang and Blake." The heiress stated. "That Mami cosplayer's too short for Yang. And her arms are too thin. And that Homura cosplayer's hair is too smooth. Also, she's also too short to be Blake."

"Awww..." Ruby frowned. "But maybe Yang and Blake were here and they took off!"

"I hardly trust your sister to be early..." Weiss scoffed, but sighed. "Fine, we'll ask them." Strolling over to the cosplayers, Weiss cleared her throat.

"Excuse me."

"Yes?" The Mami cosplayer turned to her. Ruby blinked, before staring at her in awe.

"Whoa...she really does look like Mami..."

"Excuse my girlfriend." Weiss waved off Ruby. The cosplayer chuckled.

"No problem. What were you going to say?"

"Have you seen a pair of girls dressed like you two, only a little taller, and one of them has lilac eyes and weird yellow gauntlets, and the other one has a weird green drill around her neck?" Weiss inquired. The cosplayer shook her head.

"No, not at all."

"Huh. Okay then." The heiress sighed, turning to the drooling Ruby as she began to stroll out of the store. "Come on, we're going..."

"Just a moment..." Ruby uttered dreamily. "So...what's your name?"

"Erm...Mami." The cosplayer shrugged. "Why?"

"Wow! You're really in-character, too!" The reaper squeed. "You're an awesome-"

"RUBY!"

"Alright!" The reaper frowned, turning to the girl who called herself Mami. "I hope we see each other sometime! You're pretty awesome!" With that, she followed her teammate out of the store.

Mami sighed when she looked over at the girl called Ruby leaving the store, looking at her dress and frowning. "Why do they keep mistaking me for someone else?"

Homura barely reacted, focusing on a Madoka plushie. "We are in an anime convention where there's at least ten girls dressed exactly like you. You don't exactly stand out." The girl sighed, examining her Soul Gem quietly before hiding it. "And of course, displaying our powers here would be inadvisable."

"Point taken, Akemi." The magical girl sighed. "Perhaps I need to do something to my clothes to make me stand out...or maybe dress like a normal schoolgirl...hm..."

"Do whatever, Tomoe. I'm going to buy myself some plushies. F-for a gift for everyone, o-of course." With that, Homura slunk off, grabbing several Madoka plushies for herself, towards the cashier.

* * *

Shortly, Ruby and Weiss ran into Yang and Blake just outside the food court. Weiss sighed.

"There you idiots are!" Weiss grumbled. "I was wondering where you went!"

"We were wandering around trying to find a map." Blake sighed, before slipping off the headband and letting her cat ears free. She sighed in relief as she did so, her ears twitching.

"Ah...that feels good."

Yang shrugged. "You guys just come from the store?"

Ruby nodded gleefully. "Mhm! We even met a REALLY good Mami cosplayer! She looked exactly like her! She even said her name was Mami, too!"

"Sounds...suspicious." Yang noted, nodding slowly. "So, what should we-"

"Guys." Minako and Pyrrha approached them. "You hear about what's going on?"

"Uh, no, we were busy looking for these too." The heiress responded, gesturing to Yang and Blake. "Go right ahead."

"Apparently there is a full-blown, real swordfight happening in the main convention room onstage." Pyrrha stated. "We heard the sounds from a floor below and people are gathering towards it. I believe we may have to stop it."

"Seriously?" Weiss stared at them in disbelief. "Between who?"

_Meanwhile..._

Adam dodged another swing of Caladbolg and aimed for another quick thrust with Wilt, which itself was parried quickly by Raven's quick movements. The two warriors were locked into a deadly dance of blades, attempting to take down the other in one swift move, such was their style of battle.

"Impressive..." Raven shifted back from the battle, waiting for her blade to be able to tear open another rift. She could take this out of a more populated area and into a deserted one, and indeed she wanted to. She held her blade carefully to parry another quick shot from Blush and a thrust from Wilt, before retaliating herself with her scything blade, set aflame with Dust. The Faunus, however, was fast enough to block it with an elegant sweep of Wilt, with a scoff.

"So, the fabled Raven Branwen can't even beat me?"

"Neither can you, Adam Taurus beat me." Raven quickly retorted before swinging her sword around, switching the weapon's state to 'blue' with a flick of her finger. She deftly parried Adam's strike and stabbed her sword into the ground, causing a column of ice to appear and trap Wilt mid-draw. Adam seemingly struggled to get out of it to no avail...until he moved forwards to reseat the blade. Clicking the trigger, he launched the rest out of the scabbard, shattering the ice block with ease. He scoffed.

"Anything else?" He smirked. Raven nodded.

"Of course." With a yell, she sliced open a multitude of portals around Adam, before vanishing herself into one. Adam steeled himself for an inevitable attack, placing his hand on Wilt's hilt again.

And then it came. From all directions, the whooshing of a metal blade could be heard faintly- enough that Adam's Faunus senses struggled to pick up on it. However, they did, and early enough to take action.

With a swift movement, the swordsman deflected all of Raven's strikes with a single quick draw from his weapon, parrying each and every single hit with his own outstretched Wilt. Drawing Blush, he then fired quick shots into each portal, after which each shut closed.

Raven reappeared, flying out of one with sword held to deflect blasts, a multitude of steaming bullets falling around her. She breathed heavily, surprised at the swiftness of her opponent.

"Hm. I see." She nodded slowly. "I'll have to go all out." Flicking her blade to an iridescent setting, she raised Caladbolg, ready to fight, but preparing to move the battle elsewhere with a rift: or to flee herself.

Adam merely glanced at her, hefting his sword, his mask's red markings and Wilt's blade glowing with energy. She smirked. He knew it was over.

"This ends here, Branwen." Adam declared calmly. Readying himself, he charged at the samurai, preparing to hit-

"Not on my watch."

"Huh?" Adam felt himself being hurled to the side by something hard, his charge interrupted. He looked to see it was a spear that had stopped him, slowly being drawn back by a red-headed girl dressed as a man.

Even with her shortened hair and weird clothes, her face was still familiar to anyone in Vale. He sneered. "Pyrrha Nikos, intervening in MY duel? How annoying." Suddenly, he leapt at her, preparing to engage her in a fight.

The girl was unprepared, her spear still in mid-flight and her shield not on her person. She prepared for the worst, closing her eyes, when-

"PERSONA!" A yell, the sound of breaking glass and a golden harp met Wilt's blade. Adam looked over to see a girl with red glasses, a pistol in her own hands pointed at her head and in front of him, a mechanical humanoid with a blue aura, red and gold, it's head wrapped in a gold scarf and remaining the only organic part of it's body, holding it's harp to protect Pyrrha. It pushed the Faunus back, and he landed with deftness, still looking for an entrance.

Pyrrha regained her spear that moment, just as her ally jumped in, drawing a strange, divine-looking blade Adam had never seen before. He looked around to see that more Huntresses were arriving- the hated Weiss Schnee, clearly with her weapon, and a strange-looking schoolgirl, her weapon disguised clumsily as a fake scythe. They ran alongside a blonde girl in a ridiculously frilly dress, slipping on golden shotgun gauntlets, and-

He blinked. "Blake." It was true- despite her costume, there was no mistaking her for anyone else. Blake was running with those Huntresses.

Pyrrha and the girl looked to each other. "How does he know...wait...

Hang on...that's...Adam..."

Blake and Adam's eyes met. He sensed a powerful will behind them, and he chuckled, as he saw her stop, look in surprise and then sudden rage, as she drew Gambol Shroud.

"So...she's still using that Spiral Power she always talked about." He sighed. "Very well." Her suddenly turned about-face and fled through the crowd, sheathing Wilt.

He knew that whatever strange manner of Semblance- if it was a Semblance- that the girl with red glasses had held, he couldn't fight it. He knew that even if he could take one team of Beacon Huntresses, two was suicide. And he knew that he had to save his battle with Blake for when it was most satisfying.

When he could take her alone.

"Later, Blake." He muttered, before ducking down a dark corner, vanishing from sight entirely.

Raven, meanwhile, took advantage of the distraction from the others to vanish into a rift, shutting it quickly behind her.

"So...this Adam person..." She mused as she fled. "Somehow...he countered my techniques with ease...

It seems...I have found a worthy opponent I must beat."

* * *

Minako dismissed her Persona, Orpheus Telos, and holstered her Evoker and her sword, Deus Xiphos. She looked over to Pyrrha, concerned. She ignored the applause from the crowds around her, looking only to her friend.

"You alright?"

"Y-Yes...t-thank you, Minako." The spearmaiden nodded to her, putting Milo away. She smiled just a little, grateful for the save.

Team RWBY arrived, looking worried. Yang rushed over to Pyrrha, grabbing her shoulders.

"OH MY DUST ARE YOU ALRIGHT PYRRHA DID HE HURT YOU OH DUST IF HE DID I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD-"

Pyrrha chuckled. "Yang, I'm fine. Really."

The brawler sighed in relief and hugged her tightly. "Good."

Ruby and Weiss looked to each other.

"...what just happened?" The heiress inquired. "Was that...Adam we just saw?"

"Blake's old White Fang...err...colleague?" Ruby said, taking a moment to search for an appropriate word.

"Not my colleague." Blake muttered, sheathing Gambol Shroud. "...but when did he get that strong..."

"Y-Yang...y-you're crushing me..." Pyrrha squeaked out, causing the brawler to relinquish her.

"I-I was just so...worried..."

Suddenly, Ren and Nora appeared from the crowds. Nora was wearing various pieces of Pancake Land merchandise- a drink hat, a large pancake brooch and even a shirt with Pancake Land's logo, a large cartoon pancake waving his hand. She was busy adorably eating her pancakes, while Ren was content with a hot chocolate.

"So," Ren looked around at the bemused expressions of his companions. "What did we miss?"

"..." Pyrrha was about to speak when-

"SEEEEEEMPAAAAI!" Velvet on a shopping cart rushed past, grabbing Weiss from behind and shoving her on it.

"G-GET OFF OF ME! PERVERT!"

"N-NOW YOU'LL HUG ME! WAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ren sighed.

"Dust dammit Velvet. Now we have to stop you...

Well, come on, guys. A crazy bunny lady isn't going to stop herself."

Needless to say, that was an exceedingly eventful convention.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woo! That was...a thing! Yes, yes it was. So, that's not the last you'll see of Adam or Raven. Also, yay Pyrrha!**

**Also, list of cosplay for the confused:**

**Ruby: Maka Albarn (Soul Eater)**

**Weiss: Fiora (League of Legends)**

**Yang and Blake: Mami Tomoe / Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)**

**Minako: Nodoka Manabe (K-On!)**

**Jaune and Pyrrha: Saber / Shirou Emiya (Fate stay/night)**

**Ren and Nora: No cosplay**

**Next chapter, Team CFVY Reacts to Recaps.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your reviews, ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions and thoughts and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	21. CFVY Reacts to Recaps, Part 1!

**CFVY Reacts to Recaps!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Boy, we have news for you today. Firstly, the announcement that yes, we will be doing the canon series now that it's finished, and there WILL be a Five Nights at Freddy chapter for Weiss Reacts, since you've all asked for it, and then a chapter pertaining to...*drumroll* Pokemon Omega Ruby, done by none other than Ruby! kukukuku im just so good at puns arent i**

**Hehehehe. Hehehe. Heh...I'm screwed, aren't I? J-Just read the chapter already-oh, wait! Hang on, I have an notice to give. From the 23rd of December to the 2nd of January, I'll be going off on holiday with relatives to America- likely nobody will actually be looking for updates of this crap on Christmas Day, but even so, expect sporadic updates for the next week. That's all for now!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more AH-related gags.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Fox." Yatsuhashi said, crossing his arms. "Explain this." He held up a picture of his sleeping self, with a sleeping Coco tucked in tightly to his right arm, snuggled up perfectly. The boy shrugged.

"Hey, don't look at me. Do I _look_ like Yang to you?" Fox remarked.

"Then who took this picture?" Yatsuhashi inquired.  
"Heck if I know. I didn't even get back to the dorm until you woke up."

The tall boy sighed. "Very well..." Sitting down in one of the dorm chairs, he sat back, resting. Velvet was still getting back from the Winter Animecon teams RWBY and JNPR had dragged her off to, allowing them a relative measure of peace for once. Thankfully, Coco- in her Coco personality- had taken it upon herself as a duty to clean up the dorm, putting all of Velvet's Weiss-related merchandise; Weiss plushies, pictures, posters and even Schnee-branded mint candy with Weiss' face on them- on shelves to make sure they didn't clutter up the floor, and putting out the lit candles to ensure nothing was set on fire.

Coco looked up towards them, a smile on her face. "Hey, guys, you need anything else?"

"No. And I told you, Coco, I you should've let me clean it." Yatsuhashi sighed. "You didn't need to put so much effort into it, especially considering you just recovered from being sick."  
The beret-wearer shook her head. "N-no! Really! It's fine!"

"All the same, Coco, don't overexert yourself." Yatsuhashi cautioned her. Fox whistled.

"Man, you got a thing for her, huh?"

The tall boy glared at him. "Shut it, Fox."

"Only saying, acting all protective of Coco isn't gonna make you look exactly innocent." Fox shrugged, before whirling around and booting up the computer. "I'm bored. Wonder what stuff's on DustFiction?"  
"Gods, don't remind me." Yatsuhashi rolled his eyes. "The last time we read that, Velvet was only interested in trying to get ways of getting Weiss to herself."

"Least you didn't get groped by _Espresso..._" Fox muttered, shuddering at the memory of Coco's alternate personality.

Coco blushed, rubbing the back of her head. "Y-yeah, sorry about that..." Sighing, she dusted her hands off and got up to sit next to the pair of boys, having finished cleaning the dorm.

"At least you managed to shut Fox up for a couple of minutes, there is that." Yatsuhashi commented. Fox frowned.

"Hey!"

"I don't tell lies."

Fox sighed. "Nice to know you like me so much." Sighing, the boxer looked through the DustFiction archive, until-

"...huh. Weiss Reacts? Isn't it that fanfic Velvet's obsessed with?"  
"You mean the one Weiss always says is terrible?" Coco tilted her head. "Huh. It's Volume Two?"  
"Volume One would presumably have finished a long time since." Yatsuhashi commented. "Well, I've got nothing else to do."

Suddenly, Elsa Schnee, Weiss' technical clone and adopted sister, poked her head into the dorm.

"Hello." The bookworm adjusted her glasses, looking around, clutching a book to her chest. "Is it permissible for me to stay here for the meantime?"

"Uh, sure." Fox nodded, pulling out a chair for her. "Is the library closed?"

"That is correct. Tukson closed it down to take down an inventory of the books in the library." Elsa nodded affirmatively, sitting down on the chair and opening her book. "I apologise for the intrusion."

"No problem!" Coco said brightly. She smiled at the bookworm. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? We haven't got too much here; just a bunch of biscuits and orange juice, but-"

"No thank you." Elsa calmly responded. "I appreciate the gesture."

"Oh, okay."

Yatsuhashi studied the screen, rubbing his chin. "Huh. Two-hundred and twenty four reviews...we must've missed this."

"Seriously?!" Fox's eyes widened, before looking away shiftily. "Huh...must be a pretty popular story..."

"Weiss always says it's terrible." Elsa chimed in. "I wonder why?"

Yatsuhashi looked over to Coco. "You have any suggestions?" The fashionista shook her head hastily.

"No, nothing. Let's read it!"

The boy sighed. He, personally, had never read Weiss Reacts before, but he'd heard all the rumours- it was terrible, an absolute masterpiece, it screwed with your head, it summoned eldritch horrors from beyond the veil of human comprehension, though that was most certainly a joke by Yang- but he was now curious as to what the story contained.

"Here goes nothing."

He opened the link.

* * *

"Dear Oum..." Fox stared at the screen, shocked.

"...these biscuits are _really_ good!" He laughed, having taken a bite of the biscuits. "And you said you made these? Nice job, Coco!"

"Teehee..." Coco slowly crept up to him, giggling. "Right?"

"Yeah...hey, Coco, what're you doing? Coco? COCO?! Keep your hands o-off of there!"

Espresso smirked mischievously. "Mhmmmm...rock-hard...I see you've been working out~"

"Y-Yatsuhashi! A-A little help here! C-come on!"

Yatsuhashi ignored the pleas of his teammate, studying the screen. "Huh. I remember this. The night of the Kyubey Hunts and the grand assembly."

"As do I." Elsa noted, having shut her book and put it away. "Is it possible that this was written by someone here?"

"Don't think so. This doesn't look like someone's work here. Although, if I had to hazard a guess, Velvet wrote it- the writer seems to be fixated on writing about Weiss." The boy stated. "And that explains why Velvet was covered in branches and leaves that night...hm."

"Mhm." Elsa nodded. "You know, I wonder about something. Why does Velvet not attempt to kidnap me?"

"...I'd assume it's something about you not being the 'real' deal. Or, you know, having an absolute _psychopath_ of a teammate and an incredibly competent ninja maid robot." Yatsuhashi commented briefly.

Elsa looked up slowly, her eyebrow going up a fraction of a centimetre. "I hardly take Minako as a psychopath."  
"When she stops launching rocket-powered shopping carts down the hallway and taking to calling herself 'Shin-chan', then I'll stop."

Espresso, meanwhile, laid her head on Fox's chest and purred happily.

"Oh? Tired already~?"

Fox lay dazed, feeling too embarrassed by Espresso's unauthorized exploration of areas he didn't approve of to respond. The girl pouted, disappointed.

"Oh, how boring..."

"And of course Belladonna has a Beowolf for a pet." Yatsuhashi sighed exasperatedly. "What else should I have expected?"

"I personally like Cerberus." Elsa responded, her voice still monotone. "I find him to be cute."

Yatsuhashi merely stared at her for a moment, before shaking his head and moving to the next chapter.

"...dear Oum, their plans were even stupider than I thought they were." The boy slapped his forehead with his palm. "Seriously, dragging them out of their dorm with _burlap sacks_..."

Espresso crept up on him. "Mhm~ Props to Velvet for waiting so long and waiting for the right moment~ If it was me, I would've just leapt in and did it right then and there~"

Yatsuhashi glared at her. "_Espresso..._"

"I meant held the date there! Sheesh." Espresso sighed, shaking her head. "Not _every_ thought I have is perverted~"

"Haven't given me much reason to think otherwise."

"Ah, you don't like me too much, do you?" The tease smiled. "But of course, you want _your_ Coco back...oh, definitely...you love her, don't you?"

Yatsuhashi shook his head quickly. "N-no."

Espresso smirked. "Oh?"

She knew he was lying. The response was too practiced and too nervously spoken, his shaking too rehearsed.

"Yes."

"...I'll take you at your word~" Espresso giggled, turning to Elsa. Yatsuhashi, meanwhile, turned to the screen, reading the chapter he hadn't completed.

"...hm. For some reason that escapes me, Kyubey reminds me of that one girl from that band who visited a couple of days ago..." Yatsuhashi muttered. "...Ritsu, was it? Eh. Just me, probably."

"No, I noticed it too." Elsa said, completely ignoring Espresso's groping and feeling. The tease grumbled.

"T-that's not fair! W-why c-can she ignore me?! I-it's no fun!"

"Eh. If the rumours are correct," Yatsuhashi nodded in agreement, studying the portion of the chapter where Kyubey was being chased around by the Kyubey Patrol. "...he got what was coming to him."

"And Velvet and Pyrrha were interrupted." Elsa noted. "Curious, though. If the creature seems to like contracting those desperately wanting something, then why didn't he contract Velvet? Wouldn't he have gained much from doing so?"

Yatsuhashi sighed. "Oh, she's told this story MANY times, Elsa. Two years ago..."

* * *

_Two years ago..._

Kyubey stole across the Beacon grounds, attempting to evade the watchful eyes of Glynda or any other student who was aware of his status. He knew he was not welcome here, and that he had not succeeded in contracting a single student ever since that Glynda woman had become part of the staff, but he had to try- for the energy that could be derived from but _one_ of these students was amazing. He had felt the immense power from Beacon, and such power could- no,_ warranted- _exploiting.

If he could just find _one_ contractor-

Suddenly, the Incubator could hear a sobbing nearby. His ears perked up as he looked to his left, seeing a strange, brown-haired girl, two rabbit ears popping out from her head, her head in one hand, clutching a picture of a white-haired girl in the other.

He tilted his head, his perennially unchanging smile increasing a mere fraction. This was his chance.

Kyubey strolled over calmly towards the girl, sitting down in front of her.

"What's wrong?"

No response. The girl continued sobbing.

"You seem to be crying. Is something the matter?"

"S-Sempai won't n-notice me..." The girl sobbed, clutching the picture. Kyubey tilted his head.

"I can fix that."  
"Y-you can?"  
"Just make a contract with me!"

The girl looked up from her sobbing. "R-really?"

"Sure! Just make a contract with me and all your wishes will become true!"

"...w-wait, contract? What for?"  
"To become a magical girl!" Kyubey stated.

"...a-a magical girl? W-wait..." The girl paused. "...t-that means I have to be away from here, right? Go out into the world?"  
"...yes!"

The girl's sobbing stopped. Kyubey sensed something change in the girl's eyes. Something..._wrong._

"...and I have to be away from my Weiss-sempai?"

The Incubator hurriedly shook his head. "Of course not!"

It was too late, however. The girl drew a massive axe from her back- one which he had failed to see.

"N-no...I don't want to be away from my Weiss-sempai! She's mine! You just want me to be away from her!

YOU JUST WANT TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME, DON'T YOU?!"

"...Fiddlesti-" The Incubator didn't even get to finish his sentence before he was cloven in two by Velvet's Grimmbane axe.

Velvet skipped off happily, satisfied that she had horribly mauled the creature attempting to take her Weiss-sempai away.

* * *

"..." Elsa just stared at Yatsuhashi wordlessly.

"Seems her obsession was enough to shrug him off." The boy shrugged. "With that in mind, let's continue reading this. And by the way, Espresso's been feeling you up for the last five minutes."  
"I'm aware." Elsa said flatly.

Espresso pouted disappointedly, desisting her groping of Elsa.

"H-hmph! You're boring!" The girl crossed her arms, sulking. "And Yatsu's no fun either..."

"...ugh..." Fox shook himself out of his daze. "...man..."

Espresso giggled, staring over at Fox hungrily.

"Oh, you're up for a second-eep!" She fell over instantly, a flick to the ear by Yatsuhashi ending her insanity.

"Right." The boy sighed. "Let's read the rest of this, shall we?" Turning back to the screen, he scanned the screen, nodding.

"I see. So...even less reason to envy team RWBY's dorm life." Yatsuhashi muttered. "I don't even envy Blake. Drinking pure capsaicin..."

"Indeed..."

"Pure capsaicin?!" Fox's eyes widened. "Isn't that like drinking pepper spray or something?!"

"Whatever this 'Sun Ragekong' fic is, it sounds...very, very un-Sun –like." Yatsuhashi commented. "Okay...so apparently, the next chapter is about Halloween. D'you guys remember what we did then?"

"Spent the whole night watching RWBY and me not getting anything done?" Fox commented sarcastically. "...yeah."

Mocha woke up, looking around and pouting.

"Where's my Velvet?! WHERE'S VELVET-CHAN?!"

"She's still coming back from Animecon, Mocha." Fox sighed. "Seriously, don't Coco and Espresso tell you these things?"

"Ugh, no!" Mocha pouted. "I want to hug he-" Yatsuhashi just flicked her in the ear again, knocking her unconscious and causing the girl to hit the floor again.

"Okay, she SHOULD wake up as Latte." Yatsuhashi rolled his eyes. "Okay, next chapter."

"...dear Oum, what were those idiots thinking?!" Fox looked at the screen in amazement and shock. "What?!"

"Seriously. Weiss, how easy are you to scare?" The tall boy rolled his eyes. "Seriously, I doubt her sanity sometimes, despite her being saner than the rest of team RWBY..."

Fox chuckled at the ending of the chapter. "And now I wish I tagged along with them. Must've been a wild night, scaring Weiss in the labyrinth and heading out to town..."  
"I don't."

Elsa blinked. "I must share Yatsuhashi's sentiment."

"Better than sitting around in the dorm and trying to drag Velvet away from her Weiss plushies to play poker." Fox sighed exasperatedly. "Right, next chapter?"

* * *

The three then proceeded to read the next arc curiously, remembering their actions during the camping trip.

"Huh...that explains why Miss Faust was laughing so much." Fox nodded. "...seriously, though, how dedicated do you have to be to walk that far?"  
"Or insane?" Yatsuhashi added. "Hardly the preserve of the sane to walk dozens of miles through forests full of Grimm."

Elsa looked just the littlest bit confused. "Huh. I will need to be informed of these events. I was in my tent for most of them."  
"Basically, to sum it up, Weiss got scared by Professor Faust, they played truth or dare in RWBY tent, Weiss got kidnapped and rescued by _the freaking Slenderman_ and stuff happened!" Fox detailed, gesturing with a flourish. "That enough?"  
"Sufficient."

Yatsuhashi sighed, moving to the next chapter. "For some reason, us reading fanfiction feels utterly wrong."

"Why?"

"I just feel as if there needs to be more anger here. Isn't that how Weiss does this?" The boy commented.

"You got a point there." Fox shrugged. "Nonetheless, it feels like we _have_ to do this. Do you feel that? It's weird. I dunno."

"Eh." The bookworm looked around. "Unless you have a suggestion as to what else to do."

"...I suppose..." The redhead sighed. "Yeah, let's just read this thing?"

The swordsman nodded. "I suppose. Very well...wait, I think I MIGHT have heard this fic before. 'We Were Close'?"

Elsa nodded. "Indeed. Let us read this. I, myself, have been looking to read this story and I'm curious as to what this fic might entail."

Indeed, the three did read the chapter.

Fox felt a sharp pain in his temple. "...you know ,reading about a fanfic about a real event kinda gives me a headache. You guys feeling it?"  
"...nope." Yatsuhashi shook his head. "I DO feel like Blake seems uncharacteristically sensitive. And whoever this 'Mina Carfax' is, she's a huge pervert."

"Dear lord...from how Blake's describing her, she sounds like an even worse Espresso." Fox shuddered. "Can you imagine that?"

"I prefer not to."

"...at least I have the ease of mind, knowing that Blake and Weiss endorse this story." Elsa commented, nodding slowly.

* * *

**END of PART 1**

* * *

**A/N: Don't worry, th****e whole week won't be recaps. The final chapter this week SHOULD be something different. Hopefully.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	22. CFVY Reacts to Recaps, Part 2!

**CFVY Reacts to Recaps, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Sorry to start on a negative, but I have some bad news. As I mentioned last chapter, I was indeed going overseas on holiday, so, barring luck, this will be the last scheduled update this year. There may yet be some random, unplanned ones, but don't expect any. There could be a Reactsverse Christmas special, however, so keep your eyes peeled! And for readers of the other Reactsverse fic **_**Lucina Reacts**_**, its last scheduled updates of the year will be later this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled! I also apologise for the lateness in posting this chapter; since Wednesday, I've been somewhat unwell- and still am- but I decided to say 'screw it, we're getting this done'.**

**That said, let's get this one done and dusted before you get bored!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would probably be a RWBY Christmas (or whatever the Remnant equivalent of it is) special.**

**All mentioned characters and properties belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"So. That was..." Yatsuhashi blinked. "Interesting...I'm pretty sure this Mina Carfax woman would get along well with our Espresso."

"She sounds like an even worse version of Velvet and Espresso combined..." Fox shuddered at the thought of the two girls' traits being combined in one being. "Yeesh, I haven't even read that fic and I can tell she has issues."

"Huh." Elsa nodded slowly. "I see. Still, the story is sound. I will read it when I'm done here."

"How'd we end up turning this into a group activity anyway?" Yatsuhashi commented, scratching his head. "Pretty sure the only time any fanfiction gets a group of people reading it are when it's a MST or a dramatic reading."

Fox shrugged. "I dunno. How does team RWBY do it?"  
"I believe they subsist off my sister's anger." Elsa said quietly. "At least, Yang and Blake do."

"Yeah, this feels weird." The tall boy shuddered. "How do they do it over there? D'you know?"  
"They usually do what we're doing." The bookworm recalled. "...perhaps we're not cut out for this?"

"This is pretty fun, but yeah, I've got to agree. This does feel weird." Fox chuckled slowly. "Come on, let's finish this thing, yeah?"

Yatsuhashi shrugged. "Sure, okay." He clicked the link to the next chapter, as the three read it carefully.

"Munchkin?" The redheaded boy rubbed the back of his head. "Huh...I've heard about that game before. It's apparently pretty good. I was thinking of getting it for the dorm."  
Elsa nodded slowly. "As has Minako. Apparently it is a very fun game."

Yatsuhashi scoffed. "Judging by what happened to Weiss when she tried to play it..." He waved dismissively.

"I hardly trust _Espresso_ to play fairly. Or Vivi."

"What's wrong with Vivi?" Fox looked over to him.

"She might only be a plushie, but she's possibly the most devious prankster around here." The tall boy grumbled. "And yet nobody suspects her because she's a plushie..."

"You're just being paranoid." Fox laughed.

"The Great Antic War says otherwise."

Suddenly, the door to the dorm fell down, revealing a pouting Velvet, Vivi patting her on the head.

"Pipipipi piiiipipipiiiipi."

"...It's not fair! I wanted Weiss-sempai to love me then! H-how was I supposed to know that s-stupid Elf-kun would make that stupid fight happen?!" The bunnygirl threw a fit, frowning.

Yatsuhashi looked over at her. "I'm guessing Animecon didn't go over too well."  
"No," Velvet sighed. "My flawless plan failed. I knew it. I SHOULD have prayed to O-Yuno-sama and O-Homura-sama before attempting it..."

"Pipipi." Vivi sarcastically commented. "Pipipipi?"

"Y-you come up with a better idea!"  
"Pipipipi."

"...fiddlesticks, you're right." The bunnygirl's ears sank, and she sighed and sank into a chair behind Coco, watching her team read the fic.

"...you're reading Elf-kun's fic?"

"You are familiar with the writer?" Elsa looked over at her.

"Of course. I beat him up and tried to make him write the chapters the way I wanted them to end! With me and Weiss-sempai married!"

Fox scratched his head. "Err, Velvet...that's...just weird. Hey, by the way, I've been wondering."  
"Yes?"  
"If Elsa looks like Weiss, then why aren't you-"  
Velvet grabbed his shoulders, staring into his eyes. "SHE'S NOT WEISS-SEMPAI SHE IS JUST A GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE HER I ONLY LOVE WEISS-SEMPAI AND NOBODY ELSE"

"Okay, okay!" Fox jumped back, terrified. Elsa and Yatsuhashi seemed unpertubed.

"Pipipipipi." Vivi crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. Yatsuhashi let out a little chuckle.

"I suppose we should give her points for faithfulness..."

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around the bunnygirl, as she let out a little squeak.

Mocha, Coco's third, obsessive split personality, nuzzled her cheek with her own, giggling insanely while patting her head softly, earning a defiant squeak in protest from her plushie companion.

"V-Velvet-chaaan..." The insane girl whispered into her ears. "I haven't seen you for a while..."  
"G-gah! M-Mocha!" Velvet recoiled, trembling as her cheeks began to redden. "S-stop! T-this is so...ecchi..."

"But you must understand..." Mocha cooed to her, before switching to a flatter tone of voice. "This is only platonic. This is forbidden." The girl then started to blush, continuing to hug the girl to herself.

"_Two _yanderes...truly, I am blessed." Yatsuhashi rolled his eyes. Vivi jumped over to his shoulder, sighing and taking out a vanilla sorbet popsicle.

"Pipipipi? Pipipipi."

"Point taken."

Fox nudged his head towards the screen. "Hey, guys, weren't we reading something before Mocha started doing..._something_ to Velvet?"

"We were." Elsa nodded, adjusting her glasses. "About a game called Munchkin."

"Hm." Yatsuhashi studied the screen, nodding slowly. "...well. That teaches me to never attempt to engage Yang and Blake in a game."

"Because they're good at it?" Fox chimed in.

"Because they cheat."

"Pipipi." Vivi said smugly.

"Man..." The redhead sighed. "I would NOT want to be Weiss."

Velvet glared at him. "W-what's wrong with being W-Weiss-sempai, huh? S-she's the _Flawless Heiress!_"

"Stay still so I can hug you longer!" Mocha snapped, causing Velvet to squeal in terror.

"Y-yes ma'am!"

"I must play this Munchkin game." Elsa noted. "I...need to have more experience with this world, and it would be...logical for me to play it. Especially with my sisters- who are figures who are close enough and understand this world enough."

"Awwww, Elsa wants to bond with Weiss and Winter!" Fox chuckled. "That's just adorable."  
"T-that is not my only motive." The bookworm responded hastily, a dusting of red filling her cheeks.

"Adorable, but not as much as flawless Velvet-chan~" Mocha announced proudly, all but smothering the bunnygirl in her hug. "_Nobody_ is as good as flawless Velvet-chan~"

"H-help..." Velvet squeaked out breathlessly. "Y-Yatsuhashi..."

"Must I do everything in this dorm?" The boy rolled his eyes before vacating his seat and picking up Mocha and dislodging her from Velvet as a sailor prying barnacles from the hull of a ship, ignoring Mocha's flailing arms, before pulling out a Velvet plushie and tossing it to the opposite end of the room. She pursued it hastily, glomping it tightly.

"Velvet-chaaaaAAAAAHHH!" Unfortunately, she collided into the dorm's opposite wall, knocking herself unconscious. Muttered fantasies left her mouth as Mocha faded back into Coco's gestalt consciousness, waiting once more to arise.

"...I take no responsibility for that one." Yatsuhashi grumbled.

Fox chuckled, clapping. "Masterfully done."

Velvet rubbed her wrists gratefully. "Thanks, Yatsuhashi."

"Why are you rubbing your wrists?" Elsa looked over at her. "You were not bound there by anything that would cause pain in those parts."

"TvTropes has taught me that people who get freed from stuff ALWAYS rub their wrists!" Velvet shouted proudly.

"Nah, pretty sure it's just if you're handcuffed." Fox corrected her.

"Pipipipi." Vivi shrugged. "Pipipi."  
"I-I only ever interpret tropes 'creatively' if they'd get me Weiss-sempai's love faster!"

* * *

Elsa, meanwhile, read the chapter ahead of the rest, nodding slowly.

"So...that explains why Blake was so happy..."

Fox looked up at her. "Huh?"

"She met one of her idols."

"Oh, yeah, that...girl from Kamogawa or whatever." Fox nodded slowly, vaguely remembering the news story from a year prior. "...that girl who did stuff with a giant mecha."

"Why doesn't it surprise me that Blake is simultaneously acting excited and angry at the Jersey Club?" Yatsuhashi commented. "Seriously, the girl has issues, not all of them manliness."

"It's a pretty cool idea, having a mecha club." Fox commented wistfully. "Really, I'd join if it wasn't for Blake being completely insane..."

"Having a manliness-obsessed club president can be a turn-off to newcomers." Yatsuhashi noted.

Vivi shrugged, slipping on her own triangle shades. "Piii PIII pii piii pi pi pi pi pii?!"

"Good Oum, Vivi, and I thought you might be sane." The boy sighed mournfully.

"Pipipipi."

"Heh...I suppose you could say that."

Elsa adjusted her glasses slowly. "I have yet to understand why Blake finds mecha so interesting."

"Maybe because they're freaking awesome?!" Fox stared at her as if she was a fool. "They're giant superpowered robots going at things and blowing stuff up! That was the stuff of my childhood!"

"Forgive me, but I...did not have a chance to experience a childhood." Elsa said, a small tone of regret filling her monotone voice. "Even one day outing with my new mother cannot substitute for years I missed."

"Oh..." Fox looked somewhat ashamed. "Sorry..."

"Do not apologise." The bookworm stated calmly. "It was not your fault. Rather, it is now my duty to do what I can to make up for it."

Vivi clapped her little plushie hands. "Pipipipi."

"Spoken like a true Nagato expy? Erm...yes?" Yatsuhashi blinked, nodding slowly. "Okay..."

The plushie nodded, crossing her arms. "Pi."

"...maaaan, I'm jealous of team RWBY now!" Fox whined. "They get to do all the fun stuff-have cool mecha battles with cute girls and badasses like Professor Tukson... and we have to deal with Velvet and Mocha! Not to mention Espresso..."  
Velvet crossed her arms and turned her nose up, indignant. "Y-you just don't understand the pure love I have for Weiss-sempai!"

"I think we've understood the true nature of your love a long time." Yatsuhashi responded without missing a beat.

"A girl has her needs!" Velvet protested.

"Indeed." Elsa responded almost as quickly, drawing stares from Yatsuhashi and Fox.

"D-did Elsa just..."

"...what."

The bookworm hugged her book to her chest, looking away slightly and fully blushing. "...I apologise if I said anything...inappropriate..."

* * *

"Emergence? Now that fic, I've heard of. Pretty sure it's also a book series, but I've heard of it." Yatsuhashi commented. "Pretty good fic, although I can see why Weiss was a bit...shaken. To see Yang do that, though..."

"For all her insane pranks, she does have a heart." Fox nodded. "She's not one of those douchey fanfic Pinkie Pies."

"Pipipipi?" Vivi tilted her head.

"No, Vivi, don't think this mean's Elf-kun's going to feature MLP in Weiss Reacts." Velvet commented. "Something to do with having barely watched the show and stuff."

"...in all honesty, though, such a deconstruction would leave a person more than a little overwhelmed, considering they were the subject matter." Yatsuhashi calmly stated. "It makes complete sense."

"But Weiss-sempai is cool enough to handle it." Velvet scoffed. "She is the flawless heiress, after all! Nothing can shake her! And if the fic did make her cry...I would have to make the author _pay._" Velvet's tone as she said this was cheerful- almost _too_ cheerful. Fox shuddered, subconsciously leaning away from her.

Elsa nodded slowly. "I still sometimes fail to grasp the concept of fanfiction. But, then again, I used to point a mouse's bottom towards a computer screen, thinking that was how I moved it..." She muttered that last part quietly, sounding almost embarrassed.

Fox squeed. "Man, you're so cuuuute!" Elsa looked over to him, her eyes widening.

"What?"

"Cute. Moe. Adorable. Absolutely hugg-oof!" He was interrupted in his parade of praises by Yatsuhashi, who clapped him on the back of the head, sighing irritably.

"Quit acting like a creep."

"Okay, okay, sorry! Sheesh!"

"Yeah, that's my job!" Velvet chimed in.

"I don't think that's a thing to be proud of..." Fox muttered under his breath.

Elsa nodded slowly. "I-I see, Fox...t-thank you. For now, let us continue reading this fic."

"Right." Yatsuhashi nodded, turning back to the screen. "...of course, Blake gets mistaken as an otaku..."

"And just as expected, our Blake goes ballistic at the fact that she never got to go to Japan and get mistaken for an otaku." Fox added. "Course, it wouldn't exactly be _mistaken_, would it?"

"And her fantasies can get ridiculous." Yatsuhashi scoffed. "If she truly believes that somewhere out there, she's actually a fictional character voiced by someone..."

"I mean, there is that awesome RWBY thing about us that that Rooster Teeth company made, but that's more of a stylized retelling." Fox added, nodding in agreement.

"The possibility exists, given the preset variable of an infinite universe." Elsa reminded them quietly. "And knowing what power Blake possesses, it is also not entirely impossible for her to make good on her promise."

Yatsuhashi shuddered briefly. "That's...not a good thing. Remember what happened the last time other universes came over here?"  
"Oh yeah! Apparently their Yang and our Yang were making out or something." Fox laughed. "Wish I could've taken a picture of that..."

Velvet pouted. "Still can't believe their Velvet gets luckier than me."

"Uuunh..." The unconscious girl in the corner stirred. Latte blinked rapidly, taking in her surroundings.

"...h-huh..."

"Judging from the voice, must be our Latte." Fox smiled over at her. "Hey."  
"H-hello..." Latte waved slowly at him, giving him a weak, but earnest smile. "I-I'm sorry if I interrupted y-you..."

"No problem at all." Yatsuhashi stated, waving his hand dismissively. "Come, take a seat."

Latte crawled over to them, before staring over at the screen. She then turned to her left, staring at Elsa.

"...W-Weiss?"  
"Huh? Oh, wait." Elsa thought briefly. "That is right, we've never met before. Well, this personality and I have never met before, at any rate. I am merely Weiss' adopted sister and clone, Elsa."

"...o-oh..." The girl rubbed her arm, blushing profusely and looking down. "S-sorry..."

"No harm was done. No apology is required."

Yatsuhashi, meanwhile, continued reading. "...dear Oum. Yang's arc must be gory..."

"Right..." Fox nodded slowly. "...it's got to be _pretty_ gory if Yang's about to throw up after reading it...least they got out of it okay, both in the fic and real life."

"Mhm." The taller boy nodded. "Right...and as expected, Yang ruins the mood with her perverted demeanour."

Fox crossed his arms and shook his head. "Yep."

With that, team CFVY, plus Vivi and Elsa, began reading the next chapter.

* * *

"In fairness, Blake has a point about the power of manliness and hot-bloodedness being useful for everything, seeing as she somehow powers a giant robot from it..." Yatsuhashi started, before raising a finger in exasperation and sighing. "But what drove her to thinking it'd help her play music better?!"

"Probably all the awesome anime and metal themes she'd end up listening to." Fox shrugged. "I've seen some pretty cool themes I'd kill to play."

"Or perhaps she was simply desperate for a test." Elsa added.

"Or desperate to get awesome stuff." Velvet offered, as Vivi nodded in agreement. "Also, Blake's manliness is nothing compared to the flawlessness of Weiss-sempai~"  
"Pipipipi. Pi." Vivi sighed as she allowed Velvet to go on one of her rants about how Weiss was superior to all others ensued. Thankfully, Yatsuhashi, Elsa, Latte and Fox ignored her with ease.

"Man, I remember that day!" Fox laughed briefly, before sighing. "And I'm pretty pissed I didn't get an autograph from Hokuago Tea-Time..."

"Most of us didn't even attend the competition when they were on. " Yatsuhashi commented. "Mainly because we had other things, but still." Moving over to the next chapter, he chuckled.

"At last, Blake gets taken down a notch. Her manliness failed her this once.

To be perfectly honest, Miss Hirasawa was the most adorable frontman I'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. Wasn't a wonder that whatever this 'power of moe' was, it beat Blake's system involving belief in manliness above else."

"I like Mio best..." Fox mused briefly, before shaking his head and returning to topic. "And the fact they got beaten with such a song, too..."

"Pipipipi!" Vivi protested. "Pipipipi?

"...hmph. " Velvet crossed her arms. "Sometimes, as I am living proof that moe beats manliness~ I mean, I AM the ensemble darkhorse of this fic! People come here to read about me and my quest to attain my Weiss-sempai!"

Yatsuhashi facepalmed. His palm slowly slid off his face, emphasising his irritation.

"...that was the most nonsensical thing I have ever heard you say."

Elsa nodded slowly as she read the climax. "...from what little I know, team RWBY had only a minimal chance of success. Against established musicians like them...they had none. No matter how manly Blake was, as it were."

Fox nodded briefly. "Huh. I probably should've stuck around to see it then. Apparently Blake's breakdown was _hilarious..._" He moved to the next chapter, as he looked at the slowly degrading sanity of Jaune and Ren as they attempted- and eventually failed and were pressganging into doing the opposite of- stopping Nora from reading a certain trollfic.

"...maaaan, I feel sorry for those two." He whistled. "That fic can't be sane. '360' noscopes and the constant MLG references say otherwise..."

"You'd be correct for once in your judgements." Yatsuhashi grumbled. "If someone like Nora _loved_ that fic..."

"...dear Oum, you're right." The redhead shuddered, before looking at the chapter number.

"Oh, wait. We're done!"

"We are?" Yatsuhashi looked around, before down at his bread. "...eh. Someone want to leave a review?"

He looked over at Elsa, Velvet and Latte, the latter crouching behind Velvet, hugging herself quietly. Velvet raised her hand.  
"...I'll do it."

* * *

**By: Satin Crimsonetta**

make it easier for me to get weiss-sempai to love me or i will poke your poodles with a pointy stick and you know i will elf-kun

love,

velvet

ps. story was good to

* * *

"...so." Fox turned to Velvet as she finished uploading the review. "...how was Animecon?"

"...interesting story, actually." Velvet responded with a sigh.

"Pipi..." Vivi started.

"You see...it all started when we actually started splitting up..."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: And there she goes! The last chapter this year (barring a special)! That's it!**

**Foreshadowing; next year, in no particular order: RWBYQuest, Emergence Part 2, Five Nights at Freddy's, Pokemon Omega Ruby, Blood Rose and Fire Emblem Awakening!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, thoughts, suggestions, and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time, and happy holidays to you all! See you next year!**


	23. Weiss Reacts Christmas Special, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Christmas Specials, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, I'd intended to release this on Christmas Eve itself, but, however, circumstances intervened, I found a new game to play in addition to playing most of the games I got for Christmas, decided to make a Madoka Magica based team on FE: Awakening, so on and so forth, and things got out of hand. So, err, a belated Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year to you all, and the regular Weiss Reacts chapters will resume on Tuesday the 6****th****!**

**For Lucina Reacts fans, don't worry- your Christmas special chapters will come soon enough!**

**Let's get this chapter out of the way, woo!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Weiss would be doing Taiga cosplays.**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_On the twelfth day of Christmas, _

_my true love sent to me _

_Twelve drummers drumming, _

_Eleven pipers piping, _

_Ten lords a-leaping, _

_Nine ladies dancing, _

_Eight maids a-milking,-_

* * *

"What...in the name of Oum are you singing, Jaune?!" Weiss snapped at the boy.

"Erm...a Christmas carol." Jaune responded slowly, blinking and putting his guitar down. "Why?"

Weiss blinked at the response, contemplating it before deciding ultimately to kick Jaune out.

It wasn't that the way he was singing and playing the guitar was terrible, no- he was amazing at this. Surprising, Weiss thought, the moron could sing and play music, too.

No, it was that she found the song corny. Just whose idea was it to make that a Christmas song?

"Get out." The heiress grumbled, shaking her head.

"Huh? You didn't like it?" The knight frowned. "Huh. Minako said you might like it..."  
"Get out. That song's terrible." Weiss moved to shut the door, before glaring at him again.

"And tell Minako she's a dunce."

She slammed the door in Jaune's face. The boy's exasperated groan could be heard from outside as he picked up his guitar and walked off, disappointed.

Yang, who was standing atop a stepladder and hanging some Christmas decorations on the ceiling of the dorm, frowned at her. She wagged a finger at Weiss.

"Aww! Weiss, he was just singing you a carol! He wasn't trying to serenade you."

"I know." The heiress sighed. "I just...found that song corny."

"That's a Christmas classic." Blake scoffed, sitting at the computer, browsing some fanfiction. "Granted, I don't know _how_ we're celebrating Christmas, living in Vytal, but eh, Elf's going to do that, so meh."

"It's not like I knew that!" Weiss snapped angrily.

Ruby looked down on her from her bunk, a Santa hat perched lopsided on her head. She frowned at her girlfriend.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you didn't celebrate Christmas like one of those people in films?"

Weiss blushed at that, rubbing her arm slowly. "Well, actually..."

Yang stared at her for a moment, before beginning to break out into laughter, holding her mouth closed to try not to.

"Oh my...you haven't celebrated Christmas? Like, ever?"

Weiss glared at her, before uttering a flat "No".

"Why?" Ruby tilted her head curiously. "Does it have to do with your...grandfather?"

Blake and Yang froze, looking over at Ruby. Yang shook her head hurriedly.

"Ruby, bad timing! That wasn't a good idea to bring _him_ up!"

"Yeah-"

"No, she's right." Weiss exhaled sharply, looking down and causing the other members of RWBY to stare at her.

"...my grandfather...didn't see celebrations as necessary. He never really let anyone in the family waste their time and money doing that. Especially our branch."

"Sheesh..." Yang rolled her eyes. "What a stereotypical grinch..."

"Yeah." Blake scoffed, before smiling at her. "Don't worry, Weiss, we'll throw you a Christmas party like-"  
"No need." The heiress cut her off, waving her hand. "Trust me. I'm used to it by now. I haven't celebrated it for the last eighteen or so years, I don't need to celebrate it now."

"You sure?" Ruby inquired.

"Unlike those people in movies, I'm not exactly suffering from angst stemming from that, am I?" The heiress chuckled, before grabbing a bolero jacket from her closet.

"Wait, where are you going?" The crimsonette inquired.

"I'll be right back. I'm just going to go to the library to grab some stuff."

"Wait, you NEVER celebrated Christmas?" Yang inquired, sounding out the question as if to see if she'd heard and said it right.

"I know enough about it, but no." Weiss sighed and slipped on the jacket. "I'll be right back."

With that, Weiss exited the dorm, leaving Ruby, Yang and Blake there.

"...we're going to beat the crap out of Siegmund if he ever shows up here. " Blake grumbled. "Seriously, come on. I know you're a racist douche, but to deny your family Christmas..."  
"Guys, Weiss said not to get too huffy about it." Ruby shrugged. "Let's respect her wish-"

Suddenly, the dorm's phone went off. Ruby clambered down to answer it.

"Hey, Ruby. Put it on speakerphone." Yang asked her. "Who'd call us the day before Christmas? Can't be dad or Uncle Qrow- they said they'd call the day after."  
"Probably not my dad." Blake commented. "He's not the type to call- he'd drop in from a helicopter. My family's too manly for a phone."

Ruby nodded at her sister, clicking the button to enable the speaker. "Hello?"

"Miss Rose." The speaker was Glynda, sounding as stern as usual. "You have a visitor."

"Maybe that's dad! Or Uncle Qrow!" The brawler said, her eyes brightening in delight.

"Actually, Miss Xiao Long..." Glynda remarked calmly, with a hint of irritation. "...it's Siegfried Schnee. He wants to see Miss Rose.

My office. Immediately."

"Sieg-kun?" Yang tilted her head, tapping her chin. "I wonder what he wants?"  
"I'll be right there, Professor! Thanks." The crimsonette hung up, putting the phone down. She looked over to her sister.

"I wonder what Weiss' dad wants?"

"Guess I'm gonna find out." Ruby slipped on her cape and hood, climbing down from her bunk and slipped out of the dorm, rushing down to Glynda's office.

As she did, she had but one thought in her head.

'_What could he want to do right now?'_

Back at the dorm, Blake chuckled to herself. "Does Ruby realise she's still in her pajamas?"  
"Nope." The brawler placed a hand on her hip, sighing and shaking her head at her sister's clumsiness. "I wonder if Siegfried will. Or if Glynda will give her hell for it."

* * *

_At Glynda's office..._

Ruby pushed the door open, as Glynda stared at her through her spectacles.

Siegfried Schnee, clad in an ostensibly custom-made white suit, emblazoned with the Schnee Dust Company logo, that still seemed to be incapable of holding his muscles in, his ruffled white hair and sharp grey eyes lending him a rugged aura contrasting his fine suit, sat in front of Glynda's desk.

He smiled at the newcomer, standing up to give her a ferocious, loving hug.

"If it isn't my daughter's future wife! Ruby! How are you?"

"Gaaaaaahhhh..." Ruby wheezed out, trapped in his bearhug. "I-I'm fine, Mister Schnee..."

Siegfried laughed uproariously and patted her on the back, releasing her. "Weiss treating you well? Or, better question, you treating her well?"

"Of course, Mister Schnee..." Ruby gasped out, coughing and recovering from his tight grip.

"Ahem." Glynda cleared her throat quite loudly. "Miss Rose, you _are_ aware you are currently wearing your sleepwear, right?"  
"Huh? No I'm not!" Ruby responded, before looking down slowly, to confirm Glynda's statement. She was indeed in a grey tank top adorned with a pink heart in the middle and a heart-patterned pair of white pajamas. The crimsonette's eyes widened as her cheeks rouged in embarrassment.

"U-um...I-I'm sorry, Professor, Mister Schnee! I-I'll change right away-"  
"No need." The man said, shaking his head and smiling at her good-naturedly. "I can understand."  
"He made the same mistake himself once." Glynda remarked drily.

"Now, Glynda dear, that's hardly relevant-"  
"You were naked from the chest up, Siegfried." The professor facepalmed, grumbling in exasperation. "I don't see how anyone can forget that they don't have a shirt on..."

"You're one to complain anyway..." Siegfried chuckled. "You were staring at it for five minutes."

Glynda blushed. "...n-not here, Siegfried. No such jokes in front of m-my students, please."

"Of course." He chuckled, before turning to Ruby, his face immediately turning serious.

"Now, for the reason I'm here. Ruby, I wish to speak to you in private."

"Why, Mister Schnee-" Ruby inquired, but Siegfried shook his head.

"Call me Siegfried." The man requested, before turning to Glynda. "May we have some privacy, please? I'm afraid these are matters of extreme importance, involving cherubic scandals."

Glynda's eyes widened for a moment, before she regained composure. She adjusted her glasses and stood up, leaving the room without a word.

Ruby stared at him. "Cherubic scandals? What does that have to do with Christmas?"

"It's a codeword most of my friends know." Siegfried explained. "I use it when I have matters only family need to know.

Most specifically when...Siegmund is involved."

"Siegmund? Weiss' grandfather?" The crimsonette tilted her head. Siegfried's expression became somewhat harsher.

"Don't call him that. But yes, him." He sighed, before turning away from Ruby, putting his hands behind him. He looked at Glynda's office wall, which was decorated with various accolades and degrees the professor had acquired over her career. Siegfried rubbed his chin in contemplation.

Ruby tapped the ground with her foot nervously, waiting for him to speak.

"So, Ruby. " Siegfried stated after the tense pause, his voice no longer loud and booming, but rather pensive and calm. "You are aware of our family issues, correct? About Siegmund."

"Vaguely, si-Siegfried."

"Good. Then...you are aware that Weiss never celebrated any of her birthdays until four years ago, nor any of her Christmases until this year, due to his involvement?" Siegfried stated calmly.

"Y-yes. She told me just today."

Siegfried sighed deeply. "...I view it as a failure on my part as a father that Siegmund was able to deny her something most children would see as normal. Though it was mainly his fault, I see it as my failure to give Weiss a normal childhood, including that.

I...wish to make it up to Weiss. And maybe I will eventually." Siegfried turned back to Ruby, a pensive expression on his face.

"You're my daughter's girlfriend. And, as I am aware, you intend to celebrate Christmas with her, correct?"  
"She said she didn't need it." Ruby replied. Siegfried nodded.

"Of course she would. However, I insist you throw her a great celebration." Siegfried asked. "I will pay for whatever costs you need to do so.

I'm trusting you to do this because you, as her closest friend and her girlfriend, you know her better than anyone, even myself and her mother."

"R-really, sir?" Ruby's eyes widened, staring at him. "T-thanks, sir...I appreciate it..."

"No need to thank me." Siegfried sighed. "I'm merely trying to make up for failing her as a parent.

I know this won't make up for being gone or unable to help for most of her life, but...please."

The crimsonette nodded. "Yes. But Siegfried...I don't think Weiss hates you or needs you to apologise.

She loves you enough on her own-"

"I know. But...it wouldn't feel right to pretend as if I didn't do a little wrong by her." Siegfried responded, before giving her a small smile. "Thank you anyway, Ruby.

You're like your mother, somewhat. Caring, responsible in her own way. My daughter's in good hands if she fell for someone like you."

"T-thanks."

"Now." He cleared his throat. "I will be back to visit on Christmas Day- me, Alexander and Andreas Arc decided to go have a manly party while our wives have a girls' night out.

Good luck. Tell Weiss I love her."

"I will." Ruby nodded quickly.

"Merry Christmas, Ruby." Siegfried roared in his usual loud, boisterous tone, patting her on the back. "And good luck! I'll see you soon."

"T-thank you, Siegfried!" Ruby nodded hurriedly, as he picked up his suitcase and adjusted his tie. He walked out of the office, as Ruby gathered her cape and walked out after him.

As she did, Glynda passed her, tilting her head and adjusting her glasses as she stared at her.

"...what were they talking about in there?" She muttered to herself quietly, out of Ruby and Siegfried's earshot.

Ruby, meanwhile, whispered to herself.

"So...Siegfried will give us the money to do what we need to..."

She smiled, clenching her fist. She looked up.

"Weiss...we're going to throw you the _best_ Christmas party ever.

I'm gonna need everyone I can find to help me."

Whipping out her phone, Ruby began contacting everyone she knew.

* * *

_CRDL Dorm..._

Cardin set the finishing touches on the plushie he'd made for Melanie- a small polar bear with a Santa hat and its paws clutching a sign saying 'Melanie'. He chuckled, examining it with his hands.

"Took me long enough to make this damn thing..." He muttered to himself, sighing. "Still...I hope Melanie likes this. Made it cute enough for her."

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Cardin blinked as he pulled it out.  
"Huh? What the...Ruby?" The boy tilted his head. "Wonder what this message's for."

He opened the message.

_From: LittleFightingRedHood_

_meet at my dorm immediately_

_re: operation mega-awesome weiss christmas_

_ps; bring melanie and milly_

"...the hell kinda operation name is that?" Cardin remarked, before sighing. "I'm gonna guess this is for Weiss."

Standing up, Cardin put down the plushie, placing it into a drawer for later.

"I'll give you to her tomorrow. " He cooed quietly to it. "Sorry...

Now to see what this is about..." Putting his phone away, Cardin walked out of the dorm. He planned to make a stop at MEME dorm to grab Melanie and Miltia, and then head straight to RWBY dorm.

_Minutes later..._

Cardin, Melanie and Milly stepped into RWBY dorm, where a strange sight greeted them.

Most of the furniture was shoved away from the middle of the room, replaced by a large foldable table and chairs arranged in a circle around the table. Teams CFVY, JNPR, Elsa, Minako and Norn, Blake's Persocom helper, sat around the table, with Vivi sitting on a small coffee mug on the desk itself. At the head of the table, Yang sat with Blake and Ruby at each side. Only Weiss was missing.

Yang waved at the three. "Just in time. Take a seat, quickly. We sent Weiss off into Vale with some spare spa coupons- she should be back in an hour."  
"What's going on?" Cardin inquired slowly as he took a seat next to Jaune. "Why'd Ruby just call a random meeting?"  
"Beats me." Jaune shrugged. "I got dragged here by Nora."

"You've all been called here for a reason." Yang stated, tenting her fingers in front of her mouth and donning shiny glasses. "Your talents are required to save the planet-"  
"Ugh, Yang, we're trying to get them to help us!" Ruby scolded her. Yang pouted.

"Sorry...sheesh."

"I'm always ready to help Weiss-sempai!" Velvet cheered. "Isn't that right, Vivi-chan?"  
"Pi!" Vivi raised her plushie hands in agreement.

"Basically, we're gonna throw Weiss the best Christmas party ever." Ruby explained. "We thought that getting everyone we knew in on it to help us might do well."

"And...that needed us why?" Ren inquired curiously.

"All of you guys have got talents and stuff." Blake responded. "So, before we continue, are you in or out?"

Team JNPR collectively responded with 'In', as did team CFVY. Elsa merely gave an imperceptible nod, Norn muttered a 'Yes', Minako gave a thumbs up and Vivi a flail in the air.

Cardin sighed. "Yeah, sure, fine."

Melanie nodded. "I'm in too."

"Me three!" Militia chimed in.

Yang smiled. "Excellent. So, you can do a lot, but don't go too crazy. If you need to buy anything. Weiss' dad's paying for everything."

Ruby cleared her throat. "So, we need to assign roles.

Ren, Yang, Pyrrha, you plan the party and get a room in the school ready."  
Ren nodded. "Gotcha."

Pyrrha and Yang shared a look, before nodding. "Right."

"Elsa, Norn, Velvet, you go grab stuff to decorate."  
Velvet hi-fived her plushie companion with a finger. "We'll get on that!"  
Norn gave an affirmative nod, while Elsa nodded curtly again.

"Minako, Yatsuhashi, Coco, you make food. Yatsuhashi, make sure Coco stays on track."  
The boy nodded briefly. "I will."

"And Minako, no rocket propelled carts."

The girl pouted. "You're boring!"

"Cardin and Melanie, help Norn's group. Nora, Fox, help Coco's group.

Jaune and Milly, you come with me. I need to plan something awesome to do for Weiss at the party!"

Jaune nodded. "I'll help you."

"Of course!" Milly smiled.

"Any questions?" Ruby looked around. Nora raised her hand.

"Yes?"  
"Can I make pancakes?"  
"Yes, sure, why not."

"YAY!" The girl pumped her fists. "I FINALLY get to make my best dish!"

Blake chuckled. "I'll do the heavy lifting for all of this stuff. I've got the mecha."

Ruby nodded. "Excellent. So, Operation Mega-Awesome Weiss Christmas is a-go!"

Yatsuhashi sighed. "Did you really have to call it that?"  
Velvet glared at him. "Nonsense! Weiss is flawless queen! Don't question it!"

Ruby shook her head, looking to the rest. "Team...break!"

With that, the entire team began to disassemble into their smaller groups, chatting to each other.

Blake sighed, looking upon the groups as they began to plan.

"Oh, this is going to go hilariously wrong..."

Indeed, it would, but that...is a story for another time.

* * *

**END of Part 1**

* * *

**A/N: Next time is the payoff, lads, don't worry. Normal chapters will resume on the 6****th****, as stated before.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, reviews, and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	24. Weiss Reacts Christmas Special, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Christmas Specials, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today's the big payoff! That is, today's the not-so big payoff that everyone will probably hate or find boring, so on and so forth, but enough of my moping. Time for an announcement:**

**The next couple of chapters will most likely, probably, maybe, have these as their subjects; the last chapters of ****Chris7221's**** Emergence, ****The Draigg's**** The Weiss List, ****The Layman's ****fics, ****Rapey Lemons'**** Blood Rose, Madoka Magica, Fire Emblem Awakening, Pokemon Omega Ruby, and...something out of left field, the party game Mafia. How's that for an announcement? :P**

**Eh, let's get this chapter done before you get bored of my...well, typing. It's a nice font, Calibri. Or whatever font's the default on Fanfiction, I dunno. Not that you won't after this chapter; this one ended up being a doorstopper despite my best attempts. And by doorstopper, we mean almost 3x the normal length of a Reacts chapter! Which means you get 3x as much crappiness!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Weiss plushies would be a thing in the series and they would be everywhere.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss opened the door into RWBY dorm, sighing happily. She adjusted her bolero jacket, looking around the room. She could see Yang hastily shoving something into a cabinet and Blake still on the computer. She decided it was a better idea just not to ask what Yang was doing- previous experience had taught her just as much. The heiress could also notice that Ruby was in bed, her cookie-patterned blanket covering her whole body- presumably asleep.

"Oh, hey, Weiss." Yang waved at her, her usual teasing expression present. "How was the spa?"

"It was _amazing._" Weiss responded, sighing happily once more. "It was nice to get away from the chaos of this dorm for once."

"Yeah. Cost me an arm and a leg to get that spa appointment...especially at THAT spa..." Yang sighed, pouting slightly. "That spa better have been good."

"Heh...wait." Weiss held up a finger, before looking at Yang suspiciously. "...why did you randomly buy me a spa treatment?"

Yang shrugged casually. "You know, Christmas cheer, so on and so forth. And I just wanted to give my future little sister stuff~"  
"I'm older than you, Yang."

"You're still smaller than me, now shush!" The brawler chuckled.

"P-Pfft...moron. Just because you have a s-stupidly large chest! G-get less fat!"

"Jelly? If you've got it, flaunt it~" Yang winked mischievously at her.

Weiss sighed, shaking her head and muttering under her breath for a moment, before turning to Ruby.

"Is Ruby asleep?"

Blake turned from her desk, nodding. "Mhm. She got tired early today."

"...it's just turned six. Is Ruby sick?" Weiss tilted her head in concern. "Do I need to get a nurse-"

"Nononono!" Yang flailed her hands about. "It's fine! Ruby's fine! Hahaha! She's just tired, no need to worry, haha! Hey, Weiss, why don't you go buy some sorbet?"  
"I had some in Vale-"  
"Sorbet, Weiss! Sorbet!" Yang herded her out of the room, ignoring the heiress' protests and shutting the door behind her.

When Blake was sure Weiss was out of earshot, Blake turned off the monitor and turned to Ruby's bed.

"She's gone. Resume the call."

A whispered "Thanks" could be heard from the mound that was Ruby's blanket, before her head popped out from underneath and she could be seen clutching a tablet to herself. The crimsonette tapped the screen.

Jaune and Miltia's voices ensued from the speakers.

"Huh? Ruby? Why'd you go silent?"

"Ruby, is everything okay there?"

Ruby responded in her muted voice. "It's fine, but Weiss got back earlier than we expected, so I needed to go silent for a while. Yang's distracting her for now."  
"Right." Jaune sighed from his end. "Well, you got any ideas? We still need to get Weiss out of the way for tomorrow so we can do this without her catching on."

"Hey, I was gonna go watch that new movie over in Vale." Militia offered. "I think I could bring Weiss with me! It'd make sense for me to take her away for the rest of the day."

Jaune made an affirmative 'hm'. "So, me and Ruby stay here to do stuff?"  
"Actually, Jaune, you might need to go with Velvet's team. We need to get everyone's gifts for Weiss and all of us are gonna be trussed up here setting everything up. Tell them they're gonna need more than just decorations."

"Oh?" The knight sounded slightly surprised. "O-okay. That sounds fair. Let's do this."

"Alright!" Miltia laughed. "We've got this settled. Is everyone in the loop?"

Ruby made another affirmative noise. "Blake and Yang knew already, I'm telling the other teams right now."

"Excellent!" Miltia cheered. "So...we've got everything set up!"

"W-wait! Shush! I think Weiss and Yang are coming!" Ruby quickly muted the call and shoved herself back into the blanket as Weiss burst into the room, grumbling.

"Yang, I swear, I-agh!" Weiss was interrupted by a sorbet being shoved into her mouth.

"Eat up, Weiss!"

"Q-quit that!" The heiress pulled the sorbet out. "D-dunce! What are you doing?! Are you trying to choke me?! Ugh." She held the sorbet in her hands, glaring at Yang.

"Some big sister _you_ are."  
"I-I have ways of showing people my love! Y-you don't understand me! Rubes would know!" The brawler shouted, before adding "A-and she's totally asleep! Yeah!"

Blake shrugged. "Totally."

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "I KNOW there's probably something up, but if there is, I'm just going to pray to whatever deity's up there that I'm not the target."

"Pretty sure O-Kamina-sama won't help you."  
"Or O-Mami-sama."  
"Or O-Haruhi-sama. Definitely-"  
"STOP BOMBARDING ME WITH ANIME REFERENCES." Weiss yelled. "I only get the Mami one because you idiots made me watch that depressing anime with you, and the Kamina one because Blake is STILL convinced Jaune's dad IS Kamina!"

"He told me himself. If a man's got the balls to claim he's Kamina, while looking like Kamina, sounding exactly like him, he's Kamina." Blake shrugged, popping a tuna chunk into her mouth.

"Can't say you didn't enjoy Puella Magi, though." Yang said, smirking. "Admit it- you were squeeing over Kyoko.

It's okay, I have dr-"  
"Shut up shut up SHUT UP!" The heiress yelled, covering her ears and shoving herself into bed.

"Ugh! Why do I live with a manliness-obsessed maniac and a stupidly well-endowed perverted troll..."

"That perverted troll's your sister-to-be~" Yang reminded her teasingly.

"S-shut up."

Fortunately for Ruby, Weiss could not hear the suppressed chuckling going on from Ruby's bunk, nor could she hear the tapping of her fingers as she sent messages to various people involved in the party planning.

* * *

_The next day, December the 24__th__..._

The scent of batter filled the air and awoke Weiss, still slumbering. The heiress pulled off her sleep mask, looking up at the counter and stove within the dorm to see Blake cooking something.

"Ugh..." The heiress muttered, getting up slowly and rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"  
"Eight in the morning." Blake said without turning around. She dipped a slice of bread into the batter, before laying it out on a pan to cook. "Heard you like French toast, yes?"

"...wow." Weiss blinked, a small smile adorning her lips. "How did you know?"

"Actually, I guessed that." Blake responded, completely sincerely. "Didn't think you really liked it..."

"And I'm thinking that the caramelised blueberry syrup was a guess too?"

Ruby raised her hand meekly. "Actually, that was my idea. Morning, Weiss!" Running over to her, the crimsonette kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Morning, Ruby." Weiss returned the kiss lovingly, before hugging her more tightly. "And thanks, but you didn't need to-"  
"Of course I did!" Ruby scoffed. "I'm your girlfriend. I have to do girlfriendy things!"

"_I_ cooked the French toast, in case you forgot." Blake reminded her drily.

Weiss tilted her head. "Wait, I thought you couldn't cook."  
"_Yang_ can't cook." The catgirl corrected her. "I learnt how to cook from the best. My dad.

After all...cooking is one of the MANLIEST ACTIVITIES OUT THERE!"

"See, I was waiting for that." Yang said, walking into the room from their bathroom, combing her hair. "...a-and I'm not THAT bad of a cook!"  
"You can only cook instant noodles, ramen and instant macaroni cheese." Blake shot back.

"But it's a _good_ bowl of instant noodles!" Yang protested.

Weiss sighed. "And here I thought you people had this Christmas tradition of 'peace on Earth' or something."

"Oh, Weiss." Blake chuckled. "You clearly haven't grown up with my family."  
Ruby giggled. "Or ours."

"Figures." The heiress rolled her eyes, pulling herself out of bed just as Blake finished cooking. "Well, are we going to eat?"

Blake slipped the French toast onto a plate. "Yep. Weiss gets first dibs."

The heiress looked at her curiously. "Why- hey, wait. Don't tell me you're going to try to drag me into Christmassy stuff. I told you, I don't need it. I'm fine without it."

"Not at all!" Blake looked offended. "Can't I do manly things for people now?!"  
"Cooking French toast and blueberry syrup is manly?"  
"COOKING IS A MANLY ACTIVITY!" The catgirl declared, donning her triangular shades and pointing at Weiss. "You can't grasp the true manliness of cuisine until you truly engage in it! After all, food is a man's fuel! Nobody can be manly without it!"

Ruby giggled and set down the bowl of syrup and the plate of toast, dusting it with sugar. "Come on, let's just have a normal meal."  
"Please." Weiss added, sighing in exasperation and sitting down next to Ruby in the dorm's table.

_Minutes later..._

Weiss blinked, frozen in shock, swallowing the last of her toast, topped with the syrup Ruby made.

Ruby looked worriedly at her. "Well? Did you like it?"  
"Like it..." The heiress uttered quietly, before turning slowly to Blake. "...Belladonna..."  
"Hm?"  
"What sort of sorcery did you use to make bread fried in batter taste so..._delicious_?!"

"Manliness. And actual skill in cooking." Blake said, a smug smile on her face.

Yang crossed her arms and pouted. "Hmph. I-I could cook like that!"

"Yeah, right." The catgirl shot back. "I'll believe that one day."

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Ruby's eyes lit up, as she tapped Weiss on the shoulder.

"Hey, Weiss, you hear that?"  
"Huh?" The heiress looked over at the door, before standing up and going over to it. "I wonder who's knocking at nine in the-"

Militia greeted her, waving. "Hiiii!"

"Hello, Miltiades..." Weiss looked slightly confused. "I thought you'd be with your sister today."

"Oh," She shrugged, waving it off. "She's off with her boyfriend again. Call me Milly!"

"Right. So...why are you here?"

"I just wanted to invite you to watch this new movie with me! You know..._that_ one?" Milly passed her a ticket, which the heiress examined.

"...eh, sure, why not. I've got nothing planned anyway." Weiss shrugged casually. "Let me just take a shower and I'll meet you in a bit."

She walked off into the bathroom Yang just exited. When they were sure she was out of earshot, Ruby turned to Miltiades.

"Are you ready to distract her for the whole day?"  
Milly gave her a salute, looking as serious as she could. "Yes sir!"

Yang looked to her sister. "Are the others getting ready?"  
"Cardin's taking everyone by bus into Vale. Jaune's already coming with them." Ruby said, checking her phone and closing it. "Coco and Yatsuhashi are en-route to the kitchens, and Ren said Professor Fall was willing to let us borrow her room for the party."

"Phase One of the operation is a-go!" Yang announced, pumping her fist.

Milly shuddered with anticipation. "I'm so excited! This feels all weird, going behind Weiss' back like this!"

"If Weiss knew, she'd try to shut it down because she'd think we're being idiots for celebrating something she doesn't need." Blake scoffed. "This is the only way we could fulfil Siegfried's requests without Weiss knowing."

Ruby placed her hand out. "Team?"

Yang, Blake and Milly placed their hands atop hers, before raising them. "Team!"

"Let's go! Operation Mega Awesome Weiss Christmas, resume!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, at the bus stop outside Beacon..._

Norn , Elsa and Velvet waited near the station with Jaune and Vivi. Velvet cooed quietly to her little plushie companion, who was sitting on her shoulder.

"We'll buy Weiss-sempai the best gift ever..." The bunnygirl said with an insane giggle. "I swear, we'll beat all your gifts!"  
"Pipipipi." Vivi shrugged, petting Velvet's hair and shaking her head. "Pipipipipi."

Norn looked at her with a flat face. "I am uncertain that material possessions can be given an objective rating on a scale involving the suitability of a gift."  
"She wasn't serious, Norn." Jaune reminded her. "Or at least, she wasn't talking about a 'scale' existing. If that's supposed to be a thing."

"Her wording implied otherwise, Master Arc."

Elsa was still staring at the bus pass Ruby had bought her the other night, blinking.

"Jaune, can you...teach me how to use a bus pass?"

"Huh? What do you mean you-oh, right..." The knight nodded. "You...don't know much about the real world yet, huh? I forgot..."

The bookworm's cheeks turned the faintest shade of red. "I...have to spend my time learning about the aspects of the world I don't know...e-excuse me if the idea seems burdensome-"

"It's simple, Elsa-chan." Velvet explained. "You show that pass to the driver when we get on- the driver will be the guy in the booth with a steering wheel at the front- and he'll let you on. "

"O-Oh..." Elsa's eyes turned a fraction of an inch downwards.

Jaune checked his watch. "Huh...where are Cardin and Melanie? They were supposed to meet us down here right now..."

"Hello, Jaune-kun."

"Hiiiii!"

Jaune's eyes widened a fraction as he saw Pyrrha and Minako amble down the sidewalk towards them. Norn scanned them with her eyes, while Velvet tilted her head curiously.

"Wait a minute, I thought those two were supposed to help with Yang and Coco!"

"I...politely persuaded Cardin that letting _me_ help Jaune-kun would be beneficial." Pyrrha responded coolly, standing next to Jaune- perhaps a bit _too_ near.

"And Melanie decided that if Cardin was staying, so was she!" Minako stood to the side Pyrrha wasn't, also uncomfortably close to Jaune.

Vivi rubbed the back of her head. "Pipipipipi."  
"Yup, Vivi...a lover's tug of war..." Velvet chuckled.

Norn tilted her head, and the Persocom turned to Jaune.

"I sense that their alibis for this sudden change of plan may not be accurate, nor their motives for doing so pure."

The knight gave her an exasperated look as he felt Pyrrha wrap her arms around his arm.

"Gee, you think?"  
"I am not programmed to recognize that tone in a human voice, Master Arc. Perhaps that was sarcasm?" Norn replied, a little too drily for her statement to be wholly true.

"Most definitely _not_ like Aigis..." Minako muttered.

"Is there something I missed?" Elsa inquired plaintively, unaware entirely of what was going on.

"Trust me, this is one thing you _don't_ need to learn..."

The knight sighed as the girls to his side were shooting each other weird glances of mixed respect and hostility.

The bus' engine could be heard nearby, yet Jaune felt like this was going to be a _long_ day.

_Meanwhile, in the kitchens..._

"Nice job, grabbing the key off of Port to get us in here." Fox whistled, congratulating Nora. The girl shrugged.

"It was easy. I'm just too adorable for anyone to resist! I AM the Queen of the Castle, after all."

"You two, keep it down." Yatsuhashi cautioned them. "It's all well and good if Professor Fall catches us, but if Professor Peach, or, Oum forbid, Goodwitch, does..."

"Relax, Yatsu~" Nora laughed, moving past him. "Nobody will catch us!"

"Don't call me Yatsu." The boy responded coldly.

"Get used to it, Yats-ooof!" Fox was cut short by an elbow to the stomach. Yatsuhashi strolled behind Nora.

Coco followed behind happily, bobbing her head.

"I can't believe they actually trusted us to cook for everyone!" She said enthusiastically.

Yatsuhashi looked towards Nora, who was making a racket while screaming about pancake mix.

"I can't believe that either, Coco."

"Man...you hit like a truck..." Fox grunted, rubbing his stomach as he stumbled forward. "...so...where do we start?"

"We need enough food for fifteen people. Start looking for the large stoves and ovens." Yatsuhashi ordered.

"Got it..." Fox headed off in another direction to find those, along with Coco.

"I'll wait for Minako to show up. Nora...do your thing."

"Seriously?" Nora's eyes lit up. Yatsuhashi, reluctant though he was to allow Nora of all people to go mad in the kitchens, slowly gave her a nod.

The girl's mouth slowly curled into a borderline-psychotic grin as she rubbed her hands together in insane glee.

"Heeheehee...pancakes...PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES!"

* * *

"I suggest Jaune-kun follow me to this shop here." Pyrrha said, hanging on tightly to Jaune's right arm. "It has a good selection of decorations."

"No, to THIS one!" Minako responded, clutching his left hand. "It's much better!"  
"My idea."

"No, mine!"

Jaune sighed, exasperated. "Someone help me..."

Norn raised a finger. "Actually, I have a proposition. How about Master Arc, Miss Schnee and I visit one store and you two and Miss Scarlatina the other?"

Minako and Pyrrha glared at her, responding with a resounding "No."

Suddenly, Jaune's phone vibrated in his pocket. Minako and Pyrrha glared at each other.

"I'll get that, Jaune-kun..."  
"No, let me!"

"I'll get it myself!" Jaune wrenched himself from both of them, before shoving his hand into his pocket and reading the message.

"Apparently we got a list of gifts we gotta grab for people."

"Huh?" Velvet tilted her head and read into the list.

"Okay, Coco wants us to grab a shark-themed ski-hat, Ren wants us to grab some of those nice imported chocolates from Vacuo, Nora a bunch of pancake themed plushies, and Yang-" He froze, reading Yang's request. Jaune's cheeks turned red as he slowly realised what she was asking for.

"...dear Oum, Yang. _Seriously_?!"

Pyrrha raised a finger. "And thus, I will ac-"  
"No, you will not, Miss Nikos." Norn cut her off brusquely.

Minako looked over to her hopefully. "Does that mean that-"

"No." The robot maid shook her head before wrapping her arms around Minako and Pyrrha's, and dragging them away. "You and Miss Nikos will help me find decorations for the party."

Minako pouted and tried to cross her arms as much as possible. "Y-you're boring!"

"B-but...J-Jaune-kun..." The spearmaiden frowned at Norn as she was dragged away by the Persocom maid, leaving Jaune, Elsa, Velvet and Vivi behind.

Jaune sighed, shaking her head. "Yang, I swear..."

"What did she ask for?" Velvet inquired.

"...a _dakimakura. _Special order from a certain store_._" The knight muttered, facepalming. "She's already ordered it and all we're doing is picking it up."

"...does that mean we're passing by _that_ place?" Velvet inquired, her eyes shimmering with excitement.

"Uh...yea-"  
"We're going there."  
"I thought that going to such a store was the preserve of perverts." Elsa commented quietly. "That is what Weiss tells me..."

"N-nonsense, non-perverts can go to stores like that!" The bunnygirl retorted. "I-It's for special people to go to, not perverts! There's a difference!"

"I see." The bookworm quietly noted that for future reference.

Jaune sighed, knowing there was no arguing with Velvet, not in this state.

"Very well, we'll pay that store a visit. Don't blame me if we get called perverts from walking into those."

"Yaaaay!"

Vivi rolled her plushie eyes. "Pipipi..."

"I-I did NOT totally go there to get one of Weiss! Don't be silly!"

"Pi?" Vivi gave her an incredulous look.

"...s-shut up. Y-you don't know anything!"

Jaune sighed, tucking his phone away in his pocket and searching for the site map.

"Alright, let's go find that shark hat. I think they sell those over at the Schnee Clothing Post, but first, we've got to find that map..." He wandered off in the direction he thought it would be, as Elsa and Velvet followed him.

Elsa studied the stores around them, her slightly agape mouth being the only expression of wonder and curiosity visible on her flat face.

"Velvet...what is a dakimakura?"The bookworm inquired.

"I'd say it, but Elf-kun doesn't want anyone to spoil the surprise." Velvet sighed. "But they are incredibly...interesting objects~"

"Pipipipi!"

"...that's j-just a low blow, Vivi! H-How could you?!"

Vivi shrugged. "Pipipipi."  
"I-It's not true! I thought a plushie wouldn't be so sarcastic..."

The plushie simply pulled out a pair of black sunglasses and donned them. "Pi pi pi."

Elsa nodded slowly. "...interesting. I might have to search this-"  
"Nonononono!" Jaune shook his head hurriedly. "D-don't look for one of those! Trust me, you'd be better off not doing so!"

"Huh? Why?"

"I-It's not a thing you look for just casually!"

Vivi facepalmed. "Pipi pipiii pipipip pipii."

"Y-you try explaining what one of those things is to her!"

"Pi." Vivi shook her head slowly and licked her vanilla sorbet. "Pipipi."

The bookworm looked down slightly. "I won't push the matter further if it is clearly bothering you."  
"...t-thanks." Jaune sighed in relief, before muttering "Dammit, Yang..." under his breath.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the kitchens..._

"Nora..." Yatsuhashi calmly intoned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just what are you doing?"

Nora slowly turned to him, a crazed look in her eyes. She was clutching a wooden spoon covered in batter and her apron and oven gloves were splatted with the same.

"Pancake..."

"Huh?"  
"PANCAKEPANCAKEPANCAKE" Nora yelled, before returning to furiously mixing pancake batter and giggling maniacally. It seemed she was in a state of ecstasy, finally being able to cook the one dish she loved truly.

Yatsuhashi sighed, shaking his head. "Still waiting on Minako...Coco, how is your part going?"

Coco smiled at him, turning from her stove. "Oh, the pasta's going well enough. I should have the sauce finished soon."

"Okay."

"Why don't you try cooking?" She asked sweetly. "I'm sure you could do it."

"I..." Yatsuhashi chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm not sure I'm exactly the best person for that..."

Coco chuckled good-naturedly. "Really? I bet you could! You can do anything if you set your mind to it, Yatsu!"  
"Uh...t-thanks, really."

Fox rolled his eyes. "Seriously, you two just gotta get a-" He was interrupted once more by an elbow to the gut by Yatsuhashi. The boy doubled over in pain, clutching his gut.

"S-shut up."

"Ow..."

Nora hefted her large bowl of batter, still giggling to herself quietly, and began moving slowly over to the stoves, muttering to herself.

"Yes, my children, at last...we will have our chance to honor the great pancake sloth..."

Yatsuhashi sighed, pulling his phone out. "Ugh...I'd better check with Yang. " He punched in her number quickly.

"Hello, Yang?"

"Yatsuhashi!" The brawler greeted him from the phone. "Hey, listen-"  
"Where's Minako?"

"We were about to ask you where Pyrrha was. Well, I was- Cardin's busy trying to get all the dust out of the room, and I mean the dust, not capital-D Dust, he really IS a clean freak-"  
"Cardin?" Yatsuhashi raised an eyebrow. "I thought he was with Jaune."

"Apparently Pyrrha told-oh, I am such a moron." The sound of Yang's palm slapping her forehead could be heard over the phone.

"Minako and Pyrrha lied to Cardin and Melanie to go with Jaune's group."  
"Figures." The swordsman sighed. "Pyrrha probably went because of Jaune, and Minako went along to troll her. Thanks, Yang."  
"No problem! Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go grab the bag of dust from when Weiss vacuumed the dorm last week so I can shove it somewhere where Cardin can see." Yang said, giggling. "It'll be hilarious..."

Yatsuhashi hung up.

"Minako ditched us for Pyrrha and Jaune, Fox...Fox?"

Fox was on the floor, struggling under Espresso's pin. She was groping him in the hug, and she smiled hungrily at him, giggling.

"Oh, I love it when you struggle~"  
"G-gah! G-get her off of me! D-dammit, w-why did one of her personalities have to be a pervert?!"

Yatsuhashi exhaled sharply, looking around at Nora, who was still pumping the pan full of pancake batter.

"Damn it, Ruby."

* * *

Ruby waltzed into Cinder's classroom, looking around. The tables and chairs normally in the room were gone, presumably shoved away by the others. Cardin was glaring at Yang while furiously sweeping the floor to remove a mound of dirt. A vacuum bag lay discarded in a bin nearby, next to Yang herself, who was suppressing laughter, while attempting to hang a sign on the ceiling saying "Merry Christmas, Weiss!", alongside boughs of mistletoe.

Blake, in the Lagann, was outside, moving furniture into the room with Ren and Melanie passing large tables and other large pieces of equipment into the room. A table stood in the middle of the room, with a mound of gifts for Weiss next to it.

Yang smiled at her sister, waving at her. "Hey, sis-whoa."

Ruby giggled, displaying her form-fitting Santa outfit and black stockings, complete with Santa hat perched lopsided over her head. "You like? Melanie told me this'd be a good outfit."

Yang smiled. "Well, I know Weiss is getting lucky tonight."  
"Y-Yang!" Ruby yelled, blushing. "D-don't say things like that!"  
"I meant she's getting lucky in terms of getting a party, Rubes." The brawler sighed deeply and theatrically. "Sometimes, I think you're more perverted than me."  
"I'm pretty sure that wasn't what you thought of, Yang." Ren commented drily. "I doubt someone like you would never miss an opportunity to make an innuendo."

"You're right." The brawler winked. "But seriously, Rubes, you look amazing in that."

"Thanks...although it's kinda weird now that you said...that..." The reaper said, cringing slightly. "Hey, wait a minute, where's Pyrrha?"  
"She ditched us to run off with Jaune and dumped Cardin and Mel here." Yang sighed. "Minako did the same."

"Yang, this isn't funny." Cardin grumbled. "You KNOW I hate dirty things!"

Yang merely stuck her tongue out at him mischievously. "Sucks to be you~"

Suddenly, Yang's phone rang. "Hm?" She whipped it out of her pocket, picking up the call. "Hello?"  
"It's Milly."

Yang looked up. "Guys, it's Milly."  
"P-put it on speakerphone!" Ruby leaned in to her. "I want to know what's going on with Weiss!"

Yang did so. "Um, Milly, what's up?"

Miltiades sounded fairly worried. "Um...the movie ended faster than expected and Weiss wants to go home _now_."

"Seriously?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "Stall her! We still need Jaune's group back here and the others haven't got the food yet!"

"Um...um..." Milly could be heard frantically looking around. "I-I know! I'll drag her to a spa for the next couple of hours! Will you guys be ready by then?!"

"We should be. Thanks, Milly. Good luck!" Yang said cheerfully.

Milly sighed in relief. "Okay. Catch you around! Hey, Weiss! Spa!"  
"I already went yes-"  
"Spaaaaa!"  
"G-gah! Militades!"

The call went dead. Ren frowned.

"We're going to need Jaune's group to hurry it up. Weiss and Milly are at the shopping center. They can't be far from each other."

Ruby nodded quickly. "You're right, I should check on them, and also on Pyrrha and Minako..." Pulling out her phone quickly, she quickly made a call to Norn.

"Hey, Norn? Norn, it's Ruby. What's going on out there?"

_At the shopping center..._

Norn answered the call with her inbuilt functionality to do so.

"Yes, Miss Rose?"

"What's going on? Is Jaune with you?"

"No." The Persocom responded flatly. "I believe we have worse issues."

She was currently keeping Pyrrha from running after Jaune with one hand. Minako was off in the corner of the shop they were in, giggling at Pyrrha and grabbing some Christmas decorations.

"Jaaaaune-kuuuun..." Pyrrha moaned disappointedly. "Heeeelp meee..."

"Miss Nikos' behaviour is somewhat different from her normal personality." Norn stated. "I am restraining her to keep her on task."  
"Nah." Blake called over from Ruby's side of the call. "Pyrrha's always like that. She's normal unless it's anything to do with Jaune. It's kinda toned down since the Animecon, though..."

Suddenly, Pyrrha managed to wrench herself free of Norn's grasp. The robot maid could only watch as Pyrrha tripped into a nearby shelf, bringing it down and knocking herself out. Norn could only sigh at that.

"Excuse me, Miss Rose." She hung up, walking off to help Pyrrha out. Minako ran over, looking concerned.

"Is Pyrrha alright?"  
"She can take worse than that." Norn reassured her. "I'm surprised she managed to break out. My chassis is designed to take stresses excess of five giga-mecha and my hands have a grip rating of three giga-mecha."

"That's a unit of measurement now?"  
"Miss Belladonna claims it is. The likelihood of it being a fabrication for her own amusement is almost one-hundred percent."

"Ah..." Minako nodded slowly as she crouched by Pyrrha, who was out cold.

"...yeah, we're probably gonna need someone to look at that."

_Minutes later..._

Jaune felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He whipped it out, looking at the caller.

"Ruby?"

He answered it. "Hey, Ruby. What's going on?"

"Jaune, is everything alright? Nobody knocked out?"

"Nobody kn-why would someone be knocked out?!"

"N-nothing!" Ruby yelled from the phone. "What's the status on the gifts? Did you grab them yet?"

"Most of them." The knight said, sighing somewhat. "We had to pull Velvet away from the Weiss-branded chocolates- which they apparently sell now. Whose stupid idea was to sell chocolates with Weiss' face on them?"

Some struggling could be heard from the other side of the call, followed by a squeal from Ruby.

Shortly, Yang took the phone. "Hey, Jaune. Did you grab the...thing I asked you to yet?"  
Jaune sighed in exasperation. "No. We're just outside _that_ store. We're grabbing it now."

Yang giggled mischievously. "Thaaaaanks~"

"Yaaaaang! Why did you do thaaaat?!" That was Ruby, groaning slightly in pain. "Meanie..."

"Anything else you guys nee-"

"Jaune?" Velvet tapped him on the shoulder. Her voice sounded slightly concerned.

"Hm?"  
"We may have a problem. Look behind you."

Jaune did so, and his eyes widened as he turned around to see Weiss and Miltiades walking towards them. Milly had a small bump on her head which she was rubbing , while Weiss looked highly irritated.

"Moron...I told you I didn't need to go into the spa again..."  
"Ow..." Milly pouted. "Did you need to hit me so hard?"

Jaune whispered harshly into the phone. "Guys! Weiss just showed up!  
"Crap!" Yang cried.

Ren could be heard in the background, muttering something like "I told you so". Jaune couldn't make it out exactly, but that is what it seemed to sound like.

"Uh, Yang, what do I do?! She's getting REALLY close!"

"Um..um...figure something out! Quickly! Do it now! Weiss can't know we're doing this!"  
"But-"

"Jaune?" Weiss tapped him on the shoulder. "What're you doing here?"

"Gaaah!" The knight jumped away from her, pocketing his phone quickly. "Weiss! I didn't expect you here today!"

"Neither did I. I thought you were doing something else today with your family to celebrate Christmas."

Jaune rubbed the back of his head nervously, chuckling slowly. "Well, dad's going on a man's night out with your dad, my uncle and a couple of other people, and my mom's out on a girl's night with your mom and everyone else..."

"Heh. I forgot about that." Weiss said, chuckling slightly. "Hey, by the way, what are you doing shopping at a store like this?"

"Eh? What are you-" Jaune turned around to see the shop she was referring to. Its windows were stocked full of figurines of various anime and video game characters, as well as props and the like and rare manga that even Jaune had never seen before.

"Oh, here? I just came to pick up some Figmas, that's all."  
"Figmas?"

"Figurines. I came to...err...pick up a Hatsune Miku figma! Yeah!" The knight nodded. "T-that works..."

"Didn't think you were into that." Weiss scoffed, "Ah, well. If I didn't know any better, I'd have thought you were a pervert. Apparently Yang buys those weird body pillow things from here..."

Jaune blushed slightly. "Hehe...yeah..."

Velvet had to restrain a laugh, before looking over at Weiss. "Heeeey Weiss-sempai!"

She proceeded to glomp her tightly, sending her stumbling back a little.

"Agh! Velvet! W-watch it!"

"I-I'm sorry...I-I just wanted to hug you~"

"G-gah! G-get off of me!"

Milly tried to wrench the bunnygirl off of her, to no avail. Velvet was already rubbing her cheek into Weiss' chest, sighing happily.

"Y-you pervert! C-can't I spend one day without you doing that?!"

"The flat chest~ All hail its flatness~"

"G-GAH!" Weiss shoved Velvet off of her, knocking Vivi onto the floor, blushing heavily. "S-stupid pervert! M-My chest is NOT FLAT! NOT! FLAT!"

"...S-so tsundere...i-it's moe..." Velvet squeed happily, her face planted firmly into the floor.

"Ugh." The heiress grumbled. "Screw it. Milly, I'm going home." Weiss began strolling towards the exit, and Milly gave Jaune a panicked look.

"W-what do I do?! I have to stop her!"

"Do something! I dunno!" The knight flailed around. "S-something! They aren't ready yet!"

Milly looked around hurriedly, before seeing a sorbet store. She snapped her fingers.

"Were you talking to Yang just now?" The girl turned back to Jaune, who nodded.

"Yeah."  
"Ask how long they'll need. And how long are you gonna be?"  
"Give or take? Fifteen minutes- five to pick my stuff up here, ten to get back to Beacon." The knight said as he returned to his call.

"Hey, Yang-"  
"Jaune, what's going on there?! It sounds like chaos!" That was Ruby, sounding concerned. Yang's whimpering could be heard in the background. Jaune declared it a good idea not to ask.

"H-How long are you guys gonna be? Milly needs to know so she can distract Weiss a bit longer!"

"Give us half an hour. The food guys should be done by then."  
"Okay, thanks!" Jaune hung up. "Half an hour."  
"Distract her for half an hour. Got it." Milly nodded quickly before running after Weiss. "Hey! Weiss! Vanilla sorbet! It's on me!"

"WHAT WHERE" The heiress looked to the girl in red as she dragged her towards the sorbet parlor, leaving Jaune, Vivi and Velvet there.

Velvet sighed happily, her face still muffled. "Ahh...that's all I wanted for Christmas, rubbing my cheek on my Weiss-sempai~"

Elsa returned from the toilets, sighing. "Okay, Jaune. I am ready now. What are we searching for next?"  
"A..._dakimakura..._." Jaune shuddered. "Still don't understand why she asked for that. Or pre-ordered a special one, for that matter..."

"Explain."

"Well..." The boy rubbed the back of his head nervously. "How do I say this? Technically, those things are hug pillows, made for people to rest on and stuff. You know, for medical reasons. That's what it meant back in Japan.

However, somehow, over here, it now means...erm...pillows with...em..." Jaune blushed slightly, embarrassed at having to explain this. "...people printed on them."  
"People?" Elsa tilted her head slightly.

"L-Let's just say these...people...a-aren't really...erm...modestly dressed..." Jaune said, laughing nervously, muttering "Or dressed at all, really..." under his breath.

Elsa's cheeks rouged, as she looked away slightly- the best way for her to express her embarrassment at asking. "Oh."

"Y-yeah." The knight exhaled deeply. "L-Let's just get it quickly, hide it in a large bag and go. Velvet will probably still be in shock by the time we're done."

"Weiss-sempai is so moe~" Velvet mumbled on the floor, huddled up in a ball and rolling about.

Elsa nodded slowly. "Good idea. Let us get this done as fast as possible."

* * *

Ruby put down the phone. "Okay, guys, we've got half an hour, thirty-five minutes tops, to get all of the transferring done! Now!"

"W-what about the decorations?" Melanie inquired.

"We'll just have to go without, unless we can keep Weiss out of this room when she gets back." Yang explained. "We don't have an ETA on Norn yet, and Jaune's not with them, he's with...wait, who's he with?"

"Velvet, Vivi, and presumably Weiss' sister."

"Right. Ladies, gentlemen...Yang..." Ren announced, earning him a glare from the brawler. "We have a job to do!"

"Chop chop!" Ruby yelled, before squeeing with joy, pumping her fists. "I-I've always WANTED to say that!"

Suddenly, a soot-covered Yatsuhashi burst into the room, panting and clutching his knees. Cardin sighed irritably.

"Hey!" The warrior yelled. "Do you mind?! I just CLEANED that-"

He ignored Cardin apart from a customary grunt, before turning to the reaper.

"Ruby. I need your assistance. Immediately." The swordsman signalled her to follow him. "Something's gone horribly wrong."  
"Huh?" The crimsonette looked confused. She adjusted her Santa hat and moved the collar of her clothes slightly. "I wonder what's going on in the kitchens..."

_The kitchens..._

"P-Put it out!" Fox yelled, grabbing a fire extinguisher and pointing the nozzle at the fires that had sprouted in the kitchen. "Latte! LATTE!"

"Eeep!" Coco's shy, fearful personality ran away from the flames, hiding behind a stove. Nora, meanwhile, had a bundle of pancakes in her arms, running away from the conflagration.

"Noooo! D-don't burn my babies! Keep it away! KEEP IT AWAY!"

Ruby could only stare in shock for a moment, before turning to Yatsuhashi. "...h-how did it turn out like this?"

"For the first time, it wasn't an antic. One of the stoves malfunctioned and set itself aflame." Yatsuhashi said with a tired voice, grabbing a fire extinguisher. "We've been trying to put the fire out for the last ten minutes. We need help, now."

"D-don't worry! I've got this!" Ruby took out Crescent Rose, before unfolding it into a scythe. "Get out of the way!"

Fox, Yatsuhashi, Latte and Nora moved away as the reaper ran at the fire, before spinning herself around rapidly, sucking the fire into a wheel around her or putting them out around her. As soon as she saw they were around her, Ruby halted her spinning and swept across the wheel, dissipating the last into ashes and smoke. The ashes were sucked away into the exhaust fans, leaving almost no trace except for charred countertops and the burned remains of Coco's food.

Latte whimpered. "M-my food..."

"Dammit." Fox groaned. "It's all ruined!"

Nora shook her head, raising her hand in triumph. "Never fear! I'm here to make it all better!" She raised her mound of pancakes above her head.

"WE STILL HAVE PANCAKES!"

"Yes, of course." Yatsuhashi sighed. "Pancakes. Right."

Ruby gave her a small smile. "Yeah, it's not ruined! Right?"

Latte was quietly sobbing behind Yatsuhashi, who was patting her quietly on the back. He gave Ruby a grim look.

"Unless you can grab some new food in the next thirty minutes..."

"We can always deliver!" Fox suggested. "I mean, Siegfried's paying for it, right?"  
"We shouldn't mooch off him too much." Ruby responded. "Come on, we'd be abusing his generosity, even if he's a pretty cool guy."

"Good point." Yatsuhashi sighed. "Right, any other ideas?"

Ruby's phone rang. She sighed, picking it up.

"Yeah, hello?"

"I-It's Milly! Weiss is on her way!"  
"What?!" Ruby shrieked. "T-that's...w-we're not ready! We don't have everything ready!"

"Should I get pancakes over to the room soon?" Nora said enthusiastically, practically bursting with joy. "Pleeaaaase?"

Ruby nodded. "Y-yeah! Do it! Let's go! Milly, where's Weiss right now?"  
"She's on a bus back!"  
"And do you know where Jaune, Velvet, Vivi and Elsa are?"  
"They got on the bus before the one she caught. I think I saw Norn go with them, so Minako and Pyrrha are probably with them..."

"Okay, that's good, that's good...thanks!" Ruby hung up, before looking to Yatsuhashi. "You and Fox can clean up here, right?"  
"Yeah, but-"

"Okay, thanks!" The crimsonette ran off. "I need to warn the others that Weiss is coming back soon!"

Fox exhaled sharply, watching her run off.

"...dammit, Ruby. Well-"

"Already on it." Yatsuhashi was already working on cleaning the ashes off of the floor with a broom. He'd also left a small sweeping pan for Fox to use.

"...aw man! There's so much of the stuff!"  
"Don't blame me. You two left the pasta on the stove when it set on fire. You should've put those on a counter.

Now clean up. You get the small pan."

"Dammit, Yatsu-OW!"

"Sorry. I must have not seen you there."

* * *

"Guys, guys, guys!" Ruby said, panicking as she burst into the classroom. "Guys! We don't have time! Weiss is- what the..."

The table in the middle was destroyed by a fallen part of the ceiling, with Oobleck and Port looking down through the hole, fairly concerned looks in their eyes. Cardin was hastily sweeping it up, while Melanie was picking up the chunks. Ren was running off, presumably to get Professor Faust to clean the place up properly. Yang was looking around frantically.

"W-what happened?!"

"The ceiling just fell and messed everything up." Yang responded. "Wait, what did you say about Weiss?!"  
"Weiss is coming. She's on her way!"  
"C-crap! Where's Norn?! Where's Jaune?!"  
"They should be on their way here before Weiss, but we won't have a lot of time. Also, all the food got burned because of a fire in the kitchens..." The reaper sighed sadly. "This is going badly..."

"Not entirely. We still have the gifts, right? And Norn still has the decor-"

Just that moment, Norn walked in, dragging an unconscious Pyrrha in. Minako looked sheepishly at her, shaking her head. Yang looked up.

"Did you get the-"  
"We were kicked out of the shop after Miss Arisato attempted to pull her Evoker out to heal Miss Nikos and it was mistaken for a real gun." Norn enunciated. "We got no chance to acquire the decorations at all."

"I-In my defense, I-I didn't expect that to happen!" The girl protested. "A-and she had a SPEAR on her back! A SPEAR!"

Ren grumbled. "So, our room's trashed, the food's burned, we have no decorations...please tell me Jaune did his job right."

Ruby sighed in exasperation. "Come on...how did everything go so wrong?!"

"I knew something would blow up." Blake called from the window. "It's Murphy's Law. When you least expect it, something will go wrong."

"That's Finagle's Law, Blake, not Murphy's Law..." Yang corrected her bluntly.

"...yeah, whatever." The catgirl shrugged, surveying the room as Nora burst in with a cart of pancakes, wheeling them in and completely ignoring the setting, before running out to grab more.

Fortunately, Jaune came in, grunting with the weight of two bags and the body pillow Yang had ordered, with Velvet, Elsa and Vivi trudging behind them. Luckily, he'd had them prewrapped.

Yang sighed in relief. "At least he got the pillow!"

Ruby stared at her. "You ordered one of those?"  
"As a gift for Weiss~" The brawler giggled. "I have something planned for her~"

Cardin just stared at her. "...t-that's just wrong, Yang."

"You people are a bunch of prudes." Yang said, waving them off dismissively. "I'm the only fun person around here."

Yatsuhashi had the fortune of coming in just as she said that, in time to return with a quip.

"And yet you hardly have any fun by your definition."

Yang could only stare at him in open-mouthed shock.

Just then, however, the sound of an irritated Weiss could be heard from the hall, screaming for Milly to let her go. Ruby froze, looking to Blake.

"W-what do we do?"  
"FACE YOUR FATE LIKE A REAL MAN!" The catgirl declared proudly. "Or...if you're a boring non-manly person, shut the door, hide, make no sounds and hope she doesn't notice anything."

"...I like that plan." Ruby nodded and ducked under a table near the wall, with everyone following suit. Nora burst in with a cart of pancakes and was dragged underneath by Ren, who interrupted her questions by shoving his lips onto hers.

"Mmpm...hmm..." Nora sank into the kiss, shutting the door almost lazily...

...just in time for Weiss to pass that part of the hall.

"Gah! What is WRONG with you today?! You moron!"

"S-sorry! I-I was just having so much fun with you!" Milly responded. "I-I..."

"Ugh..." The heiress sighed. "Fine...I accept your apology...but...j-just don't do it again!" Strolling past the door, Weiss looked at it briefly.

"...hm...open...perhaps Cinder can-wait, no. I don't want to know what Cinder's doing. It's Cinder..." Weiss said, shuddering and leaving the door unopened.

Ren pulled away just as she left earshot, and Nora sighed dreamily.

"Ohohoh...Ren...that was sudden..." The girl giggled happily.

Ruby sighed in relief. "Okay. Good. Now...we just have one thing to do, I suppose-"

"Hang on, Cinder was busy trolling Miss Hond-"

Weiss burst into the room to see everyone hiding underneath tables, several wrapped gifts next to a mound of debris Weiss swore was a table once, a large plate of pancakes next to a cart full of the same, with syrup and all- and finally, a small, slightly bent Christmas tree in the corner of the room on a table. The only other decor the room contained was a slightly lopsided sign saying "Merry Christmas, Weiss!", slightly tainted with dust from the hole in the ceiling above.

Ruby poked her head out from underneath a table. "...merry Christmas?" She laughed nervously.

Weiss merely looked around the place, shocked.

Blake poked her head out from the Lagann, which was still flying outside the window. "...Weiss?"

Yang looked worried. "Weiss? Talk. Don't just stand there! Talk..."

"I..."

Velvet and Vivi merely looked up at her, watching her closely.

"..."

Ruby crawled out from underneath the table. "Weiss..." She approached her slowly, going to put her hand on her shoulder-

"D-did you...plan this?"

"Huh?" The reaper tilted her head.

"I-I said, Ruby, did you plan this?" Weiss' voice trembled while asking her.

"...y-yes..." Ruby swallowed. "I-I'm sorry..."

For a moment, nothing moved or made a sound.

One could hear a pin drop in the room.

Weiss let out a sob. She looked to Ruby, her eyes tearing up.

"Ruby..."

"I-I can fix this! I can take this down! I-I-"  
"You dunce..." Weiss choked out, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "...you are an actual dunce..."

"H-hu-" Ruby was then interrupted by Weiss pulling her face towards hers, pressing her lips upon Ruby's lovingly.

"Mmph!"

She pulled back, giggling after a while. "...Ruby...you are a dunce, you know that?"

"Y-yeah-"

"You...went through all this effort to put this together...for me...after I said I didn't need it? All that distracting, that scheming...was for me?"

"Well, actually-" Yang was about to speak before Blake clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Shut up!"

"Mmph!"

"Well..." Ruby laughed nervously, blushing. "I-It kinda went wrong...I mean, Norn got kicked out before she could buy the decorations, the kitchen had a fire where everything burned, something crashed from the rooms above..."

Weiss laughed it off. "Oh, don't be so worried. I love it." She hugged her girlfriend tightly. "And by the way...that costume...looks nice on you.

Thank you, Ruby. Thanks...everyone."

Ruby blushed, giggling into Weiss' shoulder. "She loves my costume...hehe..."

Nora cheered. "Yay! Can we have pancakes now? Huh? PANCAKES?!"

Yang pulled Blake's hand off of her mouth and climbed out. "No, no, NO! We have to let the guest of honor open her gifts first!"

"I-I'm hardly the guest of honor." Weiss scoffed dismissively.

"Oh, please. You have your name plastered over the venue." Yang waved back dismissively, before sidling up to Weiss. "Now OPEN them! Open the big one first! I think you'll like that one!"

Weiss looked at her suspiciously. "...I'll open the floppy one first." She picked the floppy one first, opening the wrapper carefully- and yet Yang and Ruby could see the childlike glee with which she opened her gift.

It was, after all, her first Christmas.

"A-A shark ski hat!" Weiss lifted the hat above her. "I-It's beautiful!"  
Blake chuckled. "I had that ordered from a manly place! Of course it's awesome!"

"Thanks, Blake." Weiss chuckled, shaking her head and putting the hat down, lifting a boxed one next.

"I wonder what this one is..." The heiress murmured, before opening it.

It was a finely crafted shark plushie with her rapier, a tiara and a cape. Across its belly in cursive stitching were the words 'W. Schnee'. A tag labelled 'From: Cardin and Melanie' was attached to its tail.

Cardin laughed. "Heheh...I made that one a couple of weeks ago. Most of us had our gifts ready, really."

"Thanks..." Weiss hugged it tightly to her chest. "I love it. He's now Lord Sharky the Furious!"

"Now open the big one! That's mine! That's mine!" Yang urged her, practically jumping up and down as she did so.

"Okay, okay!" Weiss said, sighing and shaking her head as she went over to it. "Okay, I'll open it. I'm just-"

As she did so, she stopped talking, realising what it was.

It was a body pillow with Ruby on it. And Ruby...wasn't exactly very well dressed on it.

And by this, we mean she was hardly dressed at all. Her shy expression on the pillow didn't help.

Weiss looked at it in shock. "...w-wha..."

Ruby was merely frozen, staring at the pillow. "...Yang..."

Yang was doubled over in laughter. "Oh, I knew Weiss would enjoy it..."

"I-I'm not enjoying i-it, you moron!" The heiress turned to her and yelled, blushing. "S-stupid dunce! W-why would you buy me this?! I-It's so perverted!"

"Oh, don't give me that. I just bought it for when she goes on missions and stuff! So you can always have Ruby next to you~"  
"P-PERVERT!"

Velvet merely smiled. "I hope she enjoys my gift."

"Why? Is it a trap?" Yatsuhashi asked, expecting the answer he dreaded to be a-

"No."  
"No?" He looked curiously at her.

"No." The bunnygirl responded simply. "It's a cake. Red velvet."

"...this is the perfect opportunity! Why don't you try and kidnap her?!" Fox looked almost creeped out by her attitude.

Velvet sighed. "I have...reasons. Excuse me."

Crawling out of the table, Velvet calmly exited the room, but not before depositing Vivi somewhere on a table to party.

"Pipipipi?"  
"No, I'll just be a moment."  
"Pi..." Vivi spied her suspiciously, but let her leave the room, before joining everyone else in watching Weiss open her gifts happily.

Needless to say, the night was full of feasting, joy, gifts and shenanigans, as everyone participated in the fun that night, most of all Weiss. Indeed, her joy was felt by all that night, especially Ruby, despite the terrible conditions in which the party was forged. Velvet was gone for most of the night, only returning shortly before midnight approached, seeming slightly more sombre, but she too was in the mood to have fun.

And when the time approached, and Christmas Eve truly began, the two kissed once more underneath the mistletoe, with Yang providing a cheering track...

...and of course, Norn dragging her out of the room to shut her up when she began suggesting perverted things to do.

Regardless to say, the next day, when the parents of all came to visit, Siegfried didn't need to ask if Weiss had had a good time that night.

Her ecstatic expression and the small skip in her step was enough to tell him everything.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: WOOOO! That was a DOORSTOPPER! My god, nearly 9k words...for a fic that never really breaks 4k...oh, well, here goes nothing. Don't expect things with so many words, by the way- this is a special chapter, after all, and I felt I had to get it right this time.**

**So, next normal chapter; Ruby Reacts to Blood Rose! Oh, yes. This is happening. Haha. Ahahah. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!**

**I hope you enjoyed this, leave your ideas, reviews, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	25. Special Chapter: Blood Rose, Part 1!

**Ruby Reacts to Blood Rose!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! The heartwarming of the last couple of chapters drained me of everything but the desire to HORRIBLY MENTALLY SCAR RUB-**

**I'm kidding. Nah. Would never do that to poor Rubes~ She's adorable! And anyway she got broken already, what with the whole 'mom disappeared when she was a kid' thing. Also, this is the wrong series for that crap. Go read a horror fic or something if you want broken Ruby. :P**

**Aaaanyway, a shout-out to Rapey Lemons, the author of Blood Rose, for allowing us to do a chapter on this amazing fic. Go read his work, it's far better written than this crap.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we'd have PMMM shoutouts in RWBY (seriously has nobody else seen the Yang/Mami shipping potentials?!).**

**Blood Rose belongs to Rapey Lemons. Warning: The fic, should you chose to read it, is INCREDIBLY dark, gory, violent and contains a LOT of disturbing subtext. I take no responsibility for any mental scarring or nightmares caused by reading of this fic.**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Ruby was sitting at her desk, twiddling her thumbs and fiddling with her Santa hat. It was the second day of the new year, and she was STILL waiting for the copy of Pokémon Omega Ruby she'd ordered for Christmas.

"The backlog must be immense..." The reaper noted, sighing as nobody had yet come to her door telling her there was a package. She decided to grab her picture of herself, Yang, Yin and Taiyang, taken together just this Christmas Day, looking at it fondly. She giggled, looking at Yin's embarrassed expression while being squished between her husband and daughter, as well as Yang's winking face, holding two fingers up over Ruby, who was waving at the camera.

"Oh, mom..." Ruby giggled. "...I've got to call her later and see how she is..." Sighing fondly and shaking her head, the girl turned on the computer.

"Might as well see if there's any good fanfics that updated..." Ruby booted up her account and went straight to the DustFiction archives.

"...huh...must be a slow day. Hardly anything's come up..." She noted to herself, frowning.

Suddenly, Blake climbed through the window, grunting, hauling a sack of tuna sandwiches behind her and slipping herself into the room, saluting Ruby. Swearing and cursing could be heard from below, and an explosion sounded off in the distance.

"'Sup."

Ruby didn't even flinch. "Hey, Blake. The usual?"  
"Eh." The catgirl shrugged, throwing the sack onto her bunk. "What'cha doing?"

"Just trying to find something good to read." Ruby commented as Blake walked over to her, grabbing a chair to sit next to her with.

"Wait...what the heck? I have so many messages!" Ruby's eyes widened as she saw the pileup of ten messages in her account.

"Wonder what those are all for?" Blake inquired, munching on a tuna sandwich. "Open one."

Ruby nodded, complying with the request.

"Huh...Blood Rose?" The reaper tilted her head, curiously. "I wonder what that could be about?  
"Okay, this fic sounds suspicious." Blake mused, rubbing her chin. "The title sounds manly, but if it's what I THINK it's about, it's probably-"  
"About me as a vampire!" Ruby declared proudly, snapping her fingers. "Of course!"  
"Exactly what I was thinking." Blake chuckled. "Vampire you HAS to be badass! I mean, you're already badass, but..."  
"Yeah, this looks like a good fic. Still...I wonder why they didn't say anything about the plot..." Ruby said to Blake. "Was it because they thought it might be too obvious?"  
"Probably." The catgirl shrugged. "Let's read it!"

Just then, Weiss walked in, stretching and exhaling deeply. Ruby turned to wave at her.

"Hey, Weiss!"  
"Good morning, Ruby." The heiress smiled at her, pulling a chair out to sit next to her. "So...what's going on?"  
"We were just about to read this one fic called 'Blood Rose'." Blake explained. "I think it might be about Ruby being a vampire."  
"I'm pretty sure someone recommended that fic to that Elf pervert..." Weiss muttered. "Even so...I'm curious now. Vampire Ruby?"

Ruby nodded, giving her a enthusiastic giggle and smile. "Exactly why we're going to read it!"

* * *

"I don't want to read it anymore..." Ruby shuddered, having read the first chapter. She was staring wide-eyed at the screen, almost frozen in shock.

Weiss could only feebly mutter "P-Pervert...", herself horrified at the first chapter.

Blake, on the other hand, scoffed dismissively.

"I've seen Elfen Lied. This is nothing."

Moving to the mouse, she moved to the next chapter, before looking to her companions.

"Oh come on, you two are a bunch of lightweights." The catgirl scoffed.

"B-but...s-she just..." Ruby shuddered, shaking her head.

"A-and..."

"Oh, come on. Ruby, you blow Grimm up every day, what the hell is so scary about this?!"

"Grimm- okay, Grimm that isn't Cerberus or Edgar..." Weiss finally spoke after several minutes, looking around to see the tamed Beowolf Blake owned look up at her, whimpering slightly and going back to playing with Zwei, yelping in fear at the smaller dog's bark.

"...anyway, Grimm that aren't Cerberus or Edgar aren't exactly struggling under us as they get essentially violated."

"It's a fic, Weiss. I'm gonna read it, but if you two want out, it's okay. Besides, I'm too manly to get scared by this."

"U-um...o-okay..." Ruby nodded slowly. "I suppose I can..r-read it with you.."

"You're SERIOUSLY going to go along with her?!"

Blake shrugged. "See? That's my little badass there!"

Weiss stared at her, dumbfounded. "H-hey! I'm the only one allowed to call her pet names, i-idiot!"

The catgirl shrugged again. "Just read it, we have a chapter to make and a duty to the fans."

"I swear, you are such a weird person..." Weiss exhaled deeply, but turned to the screen.

"Fine, I'll read it. You're never going to stop teasing us about not being manly if we don't."  
"You're perfectly free to leave." Blake corrected her. "I'm just saying, it's a fic with blood in it. We've read stuff like this before and watched stuff like this before."

"She has a point." Ruby nodded, breathing deeply and looking to Weiss. "So, next chapter?"  
Weiss sighed irritably. "Still can't believe we're definitely reading it..."

With that, the girls began to tumble down the path of the dark fic, beginning with the second chapter.

...

All three girls had the same idea.

"Ruby did it."  
"I did it."  
"Ruby's as guilty as sin."

"Hey! Blake!"

Blake shrugged. "Sorry. Still, I'm betting Ruby did it."

"You think?" Weiss drily commented. "The fic's called Blood Rose."

"I kinda figured out I was behind it when I- actually, this is confusing me." Ruby shook her head hastily. "Okay, I figured out it was crazy-me when crazy-me started asking all these weird questions and stuff about Velvet's accident. And she was way too unconcerned, too..."

"Also, the fic's called Blood Rose."  
"Never know, it could be about Adam." Blake shrugged. "He's got this whole rose thing too."

"But Blood Rose, and Ruby Rose." The heiress explained, sighing. "What are you not getting?"

"Eh. Next chapter!" Blake declared.

Ruby looked at the screen again. "Hey, did anyone notice that thing at the beginning? I think it was crazy-me who was supposed to be brooding there. I think..."

* * *

"Guilty as charged." Blake declared as they read about psychotic Ruby attempting to finish the job on Velvet. "Also, damn, you got owned!"  
"Well, that's to be expected. It's Velvet." Ruby shrugged.

Weiss shuddered at the thought. "If that Velvet was anything like our Velvet, Ruby would be a smear on the floor by now."

"Point taken." Ruby nodded slowly. "I'd probably be a pretty fine smear...still, pretty awesome how Velvet took down crazy-me."

Weiss then cringed at Blake's somewhat indecent actions in the story. "...Blake...you pervert..."

"T-that's not true at all." Blake shook her head hastily. "I-I just think of Yang as a friend! That's all! A very...pretty...friend. I-It wouldn't be manly!"

"Right, I believe you." Weiss sighed, secretly noting down Blake's insecurity for later- if she was right about her hunch, then the sheer amount of revenge possible for the time she pined after Ruby was irresistible.

"Good."

Ruby changed chapter and skipped down. "...oooooh, Yang and Blake~"  
"W-what?" Blake looked at the part in question.

Said part, of course, was Yang and Blake doing very indecent things.

"...t-this is UNMANLY! I'd be on top any-I mean, I-I don't like Yang in that way!" The catgirl declared, with just a hint of red on her cheeks.

Weiss merely gave her an enigmatic smile.

"I completely believe you, Belladonna."

Blake saw her smile and her heart sank.

"...crap. Karma's getting back at me, isn't it?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about, dear Blake~" Weiss replied in a singsong voice. "I'm merely telling the truth~"

Blake sighed in exasperation. Weiss, on the other hand, rubbed her hands together gleefully.

This was perfect.

* * *

"Well...that was...earlier than I expected." Blake blinked, surprised. "I'd expected him to hold Ruby's whole 'I butcher people and get off on it' thing a secret for at least until the tenth chapter..."

"I don't know whether to hug crazy-me or get her arrested." Ruby shuddered. "Seriously, she does it because she wants someone to love her or something...but seriously, is eating people the only way to do it?!"

Weiss nodded. "Mhm. That…...got dark very quickly. Well, darker than it already was."

"Next chapter." Blake demanded. "I must see what happened to psycho!Ruby. Now!"  
"Okay, okay." Weiss grumbled as she changed the chapter.

...

"...how were you capable of surviving ten trained Hunters AND a pair of King Taijitu?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"Luck and plot armor." Blake quipped. "I'll bet you anything this person has absolutely no idea she's living with a murdering cannibal..."  
"What in Oum's name..." Weiss shuddered, reading the author's notes. "...so...Ruby's got a gore fetish AND- oh, Oum help me, I think I MIGHT be sick..."  
"You're not alone..." Ruby didn't seem all too fine herself. "...I knew this would be dark, but..."

"Babies." Blake shrugged.

"H-How are you not disgusted?!" The heiress looked at her in disbelief.  
"Elfen Lied, Parasyte...oh, and I grew up around a Grimm. And I LOVE horror movies." Blake chuckled. "And don't forget, I'm also ex-White Fang. You SERIOUSLY think this stuff scares me?

Pfft. I'm too badass to be scared by this."

"...badassery doesn't preclude...nausea..."

"You got that right..." Ruby muttered. "J-just get to the next chapter already..."

Blake sighed, but complied, reading the chapter while the other two recovered.

"A doe Faunus nurse who se- yep, she's dead." The catgirl noted. "Seriously, how many 'too good for this sinful earth' flags did you have to trigger?"

"H-how can you tell?" Ruby inquired, swallowing as the last of her nausea left her.

"This is a dark fic. This 'Alys' girl is innocent. A freaking DOE Faunus. And she takes a complete maniac in out of the kindness of her pure heart." Blake said, tapping her fingers with every point. "Excuse me, that's just waving a huge flag saying "hey plot murder me now"!"

"You never know, maybe she's a badass in hiding." Weiss shrugged. "I'm pretty sure you have those in your repertoire of badass archetypes."

The catgirl shook her head. "Doubt it. She doesn't seem like a badass pacifist type. Or a badass in hiding type. She'll be dead before the story ends, I'm telling you now."

Ruby looked somewhat worried. "If that's the case, awww...I kinda actually liked that character."

"Welcome to darkfic land, Ruby." Blake announced. "Although...those poor soldiers..."

"He got away from a nest of those things without dying?" Weiss stared in surprise at the screen. "Well, we know why he's the leader of the Academy Guards."

With that, the girls advanced to the next chapter.

* * *

"...wow, Ruby. You JUST met her and you did...that...with her already?" Weiss' eyelid twitched.

"Weiss, quit being jealous of the fictional soon-to-be-dead girl." Blake scolded her.

"I-I'm not jealous!"

"And why would she be jealous?" Ruby glanced at Blake. "Instead of a psycho Ruby, she has adorable, innocent little me~"

Blake scoffed. "Hardly innocent, Ruby. Your dreams proved that wrong."

The reaper blushed and stared at her. "Y-you-"

"Oh, Weiss...p-please..." Blake teasingly said, copying Ruby's voice. "I know what you think about, Rose, you can't hide from me. It's okay, perfectly normal- you DID grow up with Yang..."

"Pervert." Weiss smacked Blake on the back of her head, causing the catgirl to wince and glare at her.

"W-what was that for?!"

"Don't listen in to perverted things like that or you're no better!"

"You read yaoi manga. Shush." The catgirl waved her off. "Anyway...daaaamn. Ruby settled in quickly."

"See? Maybe she won't die!" Ruby said hopefully.

Blake laughed dismissively. "Doubt it. She's as doomed as a redshirt."

"Fifty Lien says Alys lives. And we have to read the WHOLE fic." Weiss finally declared, just to shut Blake up.

The catgirl smirked confidently, extending her hand. "Deal. If I win, by the way, you're buying me the new Ninjas of Love novel. I really want it- it's the one where Jigoro finally, finally, admits he's in love with Fujiko and goes into the shogun Haruo-"

The heiress shook it quickly to shut her up. "Fine, fine, you're on. Now shush!"

"Oh dear...looks like they might be on to story me..." The reaper noted. "D'you think they'll catch her?"

"Probably. Onto next chapter!" Blake declared.

...

"...as much as she is insane...I kinda feel sorry for story!me." Ruby frowned slightly, looking at the screen. "I mean...she lost her first love..."

"There's sixty chapters and technically they never said she was dead per se..." Weiss reminded her.

Blake scoffed. "Might as well give me the fifty Lien now-"

"NOT UNTIL WE FINISH THE STORY!" Weiss snapped.

"Just saying, Alys' survival doesn't exactly look fine..." Blake sighed. "So...that fight."

"Pretty brutal..." The reaper shuddered. "I can't imagine you guys doing that to me...and you wouldn't, right?"

Weiss shook her head, staring at her as if she was a fool. "Never! You're my girlfriend, you dunce!"

"You're not exactly a psychopath, and we're not exactly a bunch of idiots who'll turn on you instantly." Blake scoffed. "But if you are, just so you know, I WILL sick the Gurren Lagann on you."

Ruby shook her head, chuckling. "No need, Blake, I think I get it..."

"Good. Just so we're clear, Ruby, no eating people. Or killing them. Or you get beaten up by a giant mecha."

"I...don't think I plan to-"

"Excellent, then I never have to use the Shonen Hero Protocol." The catgirl said frankly.

Ruby stared at her. "Y-you actually had a protocol-"

"I-It was for good reasons! A LOT of writers like making you crazy! I had to in case Elf did too!"

Weiss glared at her. "That's just absurd. Ruby's too adorable. And stupid."

"Hey!"

"But she's too stupid in a nice way! And good hearted."

"So's THIS Ruby..." Blake reminded her.

Suddenly...

"Hey, guys." Yang walked in, stretching her arms. "Oh. You're all reading a fanfic? What is it?"

"I'll take a bit to explain." Weiss stated.

"Eh. Go ahead." The brawler grabbed a beanbag and pulled it over to the rest of the team. "I've got time."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next time, the second part. We've only covered 10 chapters, but let's see if we can manage 50.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, comments, thoughts, suggestions and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	26. Special Chapter: Blood Rose, Part 2!

**Ruby Reacts to Blood Rose, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! More stuff! More insanity! More possibly insane Ruby! More normal Ruby reacting to insane Ruby! Yay! Woo! Stuff...*the transmission cuts to reveal Elf hiding in a corner, clutching his knees***

**pleasemakeitstoppleasemakeitstoppleasemakeitstoppleasemakeitstop**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Yang would wear a bunny suit at one part.**

**Blood Rose belongs to ****Rapey Lemons.**** Warning: The fic, should you chose to read it, is INCREDIBLY dark, gory, violent and contains a LOT of disturbing subtext. I take no responsibility for any mental scarring or nightmares caused by reading of this fic.**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Explain?" Weiss sighed. "You poor soul."  
"Huh? What d'you mea-"  
"Basically, we found a fanfic about Ruby being an unkillable psychopath who kills, eats and sexually violates people-thankfully not in that order- because she needs her urges filled, she's mentally scarred from the whole 'my mom got shot by people' thing and she's actually a big woobie who needs a hug." Blake explained quickly. "Or something. I tuned out at the 'sexual violation' thing."

"And people read this?" Yang inquired, her voice strangely flat. Ruby's eyes widened.

"Errr...s-sis..."

"Yes?"

"...d-don't get mad, i-it's just a fic..." Ruby patted her slowly on the shoulder. Yang gave her a sweet look, smiling as wide as possible through clenched teeth.

"Why would I be mad, Rubes? I only just found out that some guy wrote her as a weird psychopath cannibal person. I'm perfectly fine."

Blake sighed. "Yang, it won't do you any good."

The brawler picked up a pillow. "Oh. I know."

With a sudden roar that made Weiss jump, Yang punched the pillow into the window, sending it flying even farther than Beacon's boundary fences. She exhaled deeply and sat down next to Weiss.

"All better~"

"...wow..." The heiress just stared at her, blinking, before turning to Ruby. "Is this usual?"

"No, not really...unless she loses her temper..." Ruby closed her eyes, giggling softly. "She's typically pretty nice."  
"I'll believe that when I see that." Weiss quipped.

Yang pouted. "Hmph...y-you just don't see the real me! I-If you knew me, you'd know I'm more adorable than anyone else here~"

Ruby chuckled. "As if! I'm more adorable!"  
"No, me!"  
"Me!  
"MEEEEE!"

Blake scoffed. "As long as we agree I'm the manliest, I don't care. Now, can we read this fic now? I want to collect my Lien."  
"Lien?" Yang looked over to her.

"She and I made a bet that a certain character would not survive. I'm still not convinced said character's dead." Weiss responded, with a shifty look towards her teammate.

Ruby raised a finger. "Isn't it a bit weird to be making bets on whether or not someone dies?"  
"That's Horror Film Friday for me." The catgirl quipped. "Now, let's read the fic already."  
"Right, right." Weiss sighed, brushing down her sleeve flat. "Okay." With that, the girls resumed their reading of the darkfic.

"...urgh..." Yang held her mouth closed with her hand, looking slightly queasy. "T-that's just...I mean, I know you said cannibal Rubes...but..."

Ruby and Weiss just stared at the screen, shocked. Blake was only reduced to laughter.

"Isn't that just a LITTLE over the top? I know he wanted shock value, but this is starting to look silly."

"Man, Blake...do you have a stomach of steel or something?" Yang said with a muffled voice.

"It's disgusting, but you three are still a bunch of lightweights." Blake shrugged. "Besides, I've seen a lot worse than Ruby trailing intestines over-"  
"Okay, okay, Blake, you can stop, we don't need to hear it again! Next chapter!" The heiress snapped.

* * *

Yang blinked. Staring at the screen for a couple of seconds, she turned to her friends. "...woooow, that just got dark."

"So Everest was behind why Ruby's so screwed up? Freudian excuse, but _damn_..." Blake whistled.

"And he still gets away with it?" Ruby frowned. "That's hardly fair..."  
"It sucks, but it's a dark fic. Stuff happens." Blake sighed. "Even if Everest deserves all the punishing for creating a weirdly woobieish cannibal person and unleashing her on the world."

"And that ending just sounds like a very screwed-up version of Bourne or something." Ruby commented, shuddering. "Seriously, trying to off crazy-me and pass it off as an _accident..._"

Weiss, however, had her palm firmly on her face. "WHAT kind of stupid idea did we have in that story, trying to free a super-healing cannibal, even if she IS our friend?!"  
"True point." Yang nodded. "I don't think our story selves watched enough movies."  
"Idiot balls for everyone, I guess." The catgirl sighed, changing to the next chapter.

...

Yang's eyelid twitched. "...d-did he just...t-touch my sister..."

Ruby patted her on the shoulder slowly. "Yaaaaang...don't do something stupid...i-it's just a story..."

Blake ignored the steadily more irritated Yang. "Sounds like Ruby got shoved into a stereotypical gulag-"  
"Where all the typical don't drop the soap punchlines will come true." Ruby completed the sentence. "Right?"  
Blake looked surprised. "I was...actually going to say something else, Ruby."  
"Oh!" The reaper blushed, rubbing the back of her head. "Hehe..."

"Truly, Ruby is your sister. "Weiss remarked, sighing. Yang gave her a thumbs up.

"You know it~"

**...**

_Three chapters later..._

"...that's just _wrong._" Ruby shuddered. "Is this fic seriously that dark?"

"Seriously, could those as-"

"Blake!" Yang yelled at her. "We ARE in a T-rated fic, you know! Just because we're reviewing an M-rated fic DOESN'T mean we can use bad language! Unless we're trying to, you know, do it for comedy!"

Blake sighed. "Fiiiine. Could those very mean people who I'd LIKE to call a rude word for the backside be any less obvious about trying to kill Ruby because the whole system's against her?

I'm pretty sure SOMEONE would've caught them by now. Seriously, they're being pretty obvious about it."

"At least she's got protection from SOMEONE. That couple seems alright." Yang nodded slowly. "I mean, apart from the smuggling thing-"  
"And you do that all the time with your stupid perverted antic gear." Weiss remarked."

"-they seem like a bunch of nice people." The brawler nodded. "Blake, bets on them being dead?"

"Seventy percent. Not as nice as that Alys girl, being that they're in the camp in the first place. Also, anyone else getting Ray and Charles Beams vibes from them? Criminal couple? Take in the protagonist? Sound strangely like parents?" The catgirl waved her hands around.

Yang scoffed. "Naaaah. You think he's watched Eureka Seven? I doubt it. This doesn't seem like the kinda story where shoutouts like that would appear."

"More references I don't understand." Weiss rolled her eyes, sighing in exasperation.

...

"...okay, I'm PRETTY sure I don't have a crush on Yang. At all." Blake stated. "I mean, I wouldn't MIND being with a girl..."

Ruby and Weiss could only respond "Lies!" in unison. Blake glared at them.

"D-don't you tell me what a lie is!" She blushed.

"Not so nice being on the other end of it, is it?" The heiress said teasingly.

Yang pouted. "W-what's wrong with me?! Why wouldn't you like me as a girlfriend?!"

"I-I didn't mean it like that!"

Weiss smirked. "Payback for all the times you did this to me, Belladonna."

Blake looked around frantically for something to change the subject, before scrolling down and pointing at the screen.

* * *

"I-I FREAKING knew it! See? They're even having kid problems LIKE those two!" Blake declared. "Yeah! "

"Their kid was shot to death by the police." Yang corrected her.

"...point, actually." The catgirl exhaled. "Man, this fic's grim..."

'_Heh. Sneaky save, Belladonna. I'll get you later.'_

"You think?" The heiress remarked sarcastically. "And you say Madoka Magica's dark."

Yang shrugged. "Eh. It's darker than that, definitely, but to be fair, Ruby and most of the people we care about are still alive. Ish."  
"And Ruby is apparently an unkillable monstrosity who can only be killed by..." Blake cleared her throat. "Yang?"

"...removing the head or destroying the brain."

"Aaaaand...well, that didn't last long." Ruby frowned. "They had to leave? That sucks..."  
"And inevitably, she wants to escape." Weiss sighed. "How badly is this going to go?"

"Horribly." Yang commented. "She's probably going to get blown up by that barrier thing around the region that prison's in."

Blake nodded slowly, tapping her chin and smiling knowingly. "I'd assume that's probably the plan."

Weiss scoffed. "Knowing Ruby, she's the only person crazy enough to make it work."

...

"...well, it took some awkward seduction, near incineration and shenanigans, but she did it!" Blake remarked. "She got out!"

"Definitely a Ruby thing to do." Weiss muttered.

"I don't think I'd take 'blowing myself up' as a legitimate way to escape prison in real life, Weiss." Ruby said, pouting. "I can't believe you'd think I would..."  
"It's true. You came up with that slingshot thing."  
"Don't forget Plan Alexandria!" Yang chimed in.

"Or that other plan, the one we used against that giant Fafnir Grimm." Blake laughed. "Oh, man, that plan was crazy. Nora was even clapping and begging you to be her master, and Ren was just wondering HOW you took down a giant dragon like-"

The reaper crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks out. "Hmph. You people don't understand me!"

"...wait, how are you people managing to be so casual about this?! We're reading this stupidly grim fic! How?!" Weiss stared at them in shock.

Blake just gave her a shrug. "Eh. We've had about twenty chapters. It's pretty meh by now."

"Also, we've watched much darker anime than this. We watched Evangelion, for Oum's sake." Yang scoffed. "The only thing this fic has over them is nausea fuel. And not even that much."

Weiss grumbled. "...all these weird things I've never heard of..."

* * *

"At least Everest isn't a complete bastard..." Yang mused.

Blake shook her head at an earlier passage. "...seriously, even with her strength, I'm PRETTY sure the likes of Nora and Pyrrha could kick psycho Wolverine!Ruby's backside. Strength isn't everything."  
"Weiss would know that." Yang remarked quickly without missing a beat. Weiss glared at her with steely eyes.

"S-since when did YOU decide what strength was?"  
"I'll gladly stomp you in a fight~" Yang said teasingly. "I mean, I'm more adorable, badass AND more muscular than you."  
"The only area you're more _muscular_ than me in is with your stupidly large chest."  
"The only area that matters, dear~"

Weiss facepalmed. She knew she set herself up for that one.

"Nora would probably pull her mother's railgun or something." Ruby suggested. "Then again, I'm pretty used to Nora doing that by now."

Blake changed the chapter. "And of course, JNPR trusts the psycho. Remind me, if WE, her BEST friends, are trying to blast her on sight, why aren't THEY?!"

"Well, you are." Weiss reminded her. "We're not."

"And whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Yang scythed her arms across, shaking her head. "No, no, NO! Okay? Just because Ruby would hurt Blake doesn't mean I IMMEDIATELY start beating the crap out of her! She's my SISTER! The sister I beat OTHER things up for to protect her!"

"Maybe this Yang thinks love is stronger than blood. Or adoptive family, as the case may be." Weiss reminded her.

"You'd think I'd put more thought into it. Crazy person or not, Ruby is still, y'know, my sister..."

Ruby pouted. "I can't believe crazy me screwed up her chance for redemption like that. Seriously?! And, w-wait, Alys is alive?!"

"You didn't catch that?" Weiss said with a smug smirk on her face, looking over at Blake.

"WHAT?!"

"She's alive. Everest said so. Or someone did, I don't remember." The heiress sighed theatrically. "Oh, wait. We had a bet, remember?"

The catgirl grumbled, before holding up a finger. "Wait, wait. The fic's not over yet. She still has thirty chapters to die in."

"I bet you an extra ten she doesn't die."

"Deal."

Yang, meanwhile, continued viewing the fic. She clasped her hand over her mouth in shock, before laughing.

"Oh, Weiss, you _sly minx~"_

"Huh? What did I..." Weiss' mouth dropped as she realised her story self had fallen for Alys. "Oh."

Ruby merely cringed. "Yeaaaaah. That sucks for her...seriously. I know you REALLY shouldn't be pitying her but I REALLY feel sorry for my story self right now. I think she need some hugs and cookies!"

"...you might have a point." Weiss nodded slowly. "And Yang, kindly shut up, in my story self's defence, Alys had amnesia and a LONG time to fall in love with me instead."

"This whole affair just seems like those terrible netorare manga Ren decided to troll me with..." Blake muttered, before turning aside. "And for those of you reading, don't look that up. It's terrible."  
"Huh?" Ruby gazed at her teammate curiously. "Who are you talking to?"  
"Nobody."

"Oh."

...

_Five chapters later..._

"...and that got even darker..." Blake shuddered. "Wow. Isn't that right,Ruby...Ruby?"

Ruby was huddled in the corner, shaking her head and rocking softly.

"Makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop."

Weiss sighed irritably. "So childish sometimes..." She stood up and walked over to her girlfriend, hugging her.

"Ugh, you dunce...it's okay, it's okay..."

Yang blinked. "Did...she just pull off a corner of woe?"

"Still, those pirates should NOT have messed with a dark, twisted shonen hero person." The catgirl noted, ignoring Yang's comment. "I mean, seriously, what did they expect was gonna happen? She was the protagonist!"

The brawler nodded. "They should've probably figured out she was invincible from the whole 'survived a barrier that fries every living thing that walks through it' thing. Or the fact that a load of Hunters, criminals and Grimm haven't killed her yet."  
"That they should've. At least it ended happily, with just about every nice person alive, right?" Blake remarked.

"makeitstop"

"Ruby, if you don't stop babbling, I will withhold hugs and cookies for two days. Two. _DAYS._"

The reaper looked up at her girlfriend plaintively, frowning. "No huggles?"

"No!"  
"Sowwy..." The reaper reluctantly pulled herself up and hugged Weiss tightly. "Hugs!"

"...okay...this is a bit better than hugging your knees and hiding in a corner, I suppose."

...

Ruby chuckled. "Oh wow. Story me is so insane, that the GRIMM are scared of her. I guess I should be...proud? Or offended. Maybe offended."

Blake crossed her arms, scoffing. "Pfft. Not manly enough. Why wouldn't you get a Boarbartusk?"

"Or ride a Fafnir?" Yang suggested. Blake gave her a strange look.

"Seriously?"  
"Jaune's uncle did it once!"

"Also, I'm so blind." The catgirl slapped herself lightly. "H-How did I miss that guy being a Chekhov's gunman?!

My troping skills are failing me. I need to go on another binge."

"At least Ruby's got a nice place to stay now." Yang commented happily. "Hey, hang on. What happened to Alys? And the rest of us?"

"Good point." Weiss nodded. "I'm wondering that too..."

...

"Oh. THAT'S what happened."

"So...Weiss and Alys screwing like bunnies..." Yang said, counting all the events that had happened since Ruby's last chapter on her fingers. "...a weird tournament thing, Alys gets scouted, more awesome romance between me and Blake-"  
"Which I find to be untrue!" The catgirl interjected quickly.

"...aaaand Alys and Weiss fly off!"

"...how crude." Weiss grumbled. "But...I take your point."

Ruby hugged Weiss' arm jealously. "No! Weiss is mine! Only I can hug her!"  
"And I know that, dear." The heiress responded drily.

"Ruby, if you turn out to be a yandere, I WILL smack some sense into you. Like a good sister would." The brawler reminded her, smiling happily.

"Dear Oum, yandere Ruby..." Blake muttered, shuddering at the possibility.

* * *

"...soooo, horrible crap going on in the city that I THINK me and Blakey had a hand in founding, so and so, typical cop corruption plot..." Yang nodded in approval. "I think I'm liking this. Even if the beginning's, y'know, about as bloody as one of those crappy slasher movies."

"I'm beginning to like this Maia person." Blake commented, rubbing her chin. "Maia with Crazy!Ruby. I called it."

"All this spy work..." Weiss looked curiously at it. "I wonder what it could lead to?"

...

"Oh, wow. Everyone's in on it. Erm. And...seriously, they fall for RUBY's lies?!" Blake stared at the screen in disbelief. "...t-that's just...wow."

"Apparently everyone in this story is either genre blind or LITERALLY blind. Eh." Yang shrugged. "Still a pretty cool story. If you can stomach the beginning."

Ruby nodded. "Yeah, and crazy Ruby is getting a little better. She's not eating people now..."

"And she's learning restraint." Weiss added. "Huh. Interesting."

"Also, I'm offended!" Blake snapped. "I-I'm a predator Faunus! I-I'm not exactly predisposed to crime! Or meat-eating!"

She clasped her hand over her chest. "Why...I am offended such an insinuation could be made!", declared the catgirl as dramatically as possible.

Yang scoffed. "Hmph. I'm better at random dramatic jokes."

...

"Aaaaand...well." Blake wasn't surprised at how the combined Maia arc ended. "...so, Maia and Ruby kicked butt, discovered corruption, held mercenaries hostage, got a HOUSE blown up and are now in hiding because stuff.

Also, Blood Rose's version of Little Red Riding Hood is REALLY dark. And not badass enough."

"Huh. We've managed to read this ENTIRE fic." Yang blinked. "We just have to finish the dance chapter."  
Weiss nodded quickly. "Oh yeah! We're nearly done!"

"It only took Elf, like, a day and three hours to finish the chapter at last." The catgirl remarked drily. "Took him long enough..."

Ruby cheered. "Read the dance, read the dance!"

"Okay, okay." Blake said, chuckling as she moved onto the last chapter.

All four girls read the chapter intently.

"...wow. No antics, no Ruby blowing things up or eating people and only a LITTLE bitterness from Weiss." Yang nodded. "Surprising way to leave things..."

"Eh. Who wants to leave the review?" Blake inquired.

"I want to!" The reaper raised her hand enthusiastically. "I mean, the story has me as the main character..."

"Go right on ahead."

* * *

From: **DaLittleRedFightingHood**

i r8 it str8 8/8 m8

but seriously, good job i liked the rest of the fic except the beginning because i dun like eating people

love, ruby rose

ps. by the way blake says she isnt into yang but i know shes lyinRUBY STOP NOW

* * *

Blake glared at Ruby, who was giggling.

"Sorry~"  
"I am NOT in love with your sister, Ruby."

"Oh, sure yo-" Weiss's smug comment was interrupted, of course, by Jaune bursting into the room, looking absolutely horrified.

"Jaune?" Yang looked curiously at him. "What's up?"  
"...n-never...EVER...show me that anime again." The knight choked out, shaking his head in horror.

Blake tilted her head. "What did you show him?"  
"I gave him and team JNPR Madoka Magica to watch." Yang said simply, with a grin.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, we did it! It worked! This would've been out yesterday but homework, coursework and I was REALLY tired! Next time, JNPR Reacts to Puella Magi Madoka Magica! Why? Because I LOVE that show, Mami and Yang are really similar and it's JNPR's turn to be mentally scarred!**

**I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, reviews, thoughts, suggestions and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	27. JNPR Reacts to Puella Magi Madoka Magica

**JNPR Reacts to Puella Magi Madoka Magica!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! So, after putting everyone through the wringer with Blood Rose, I searched the internets for the best, most fluffy series I could find to get everyone perfectly recovered from the shock of covering such a grim fic. After much deliberation, I decided to pick Madoka Magica! This series will NOT make you require therapy at all! Totally!**

**This chronologically takes place during the Blood Rose special, for those actually keeping track. So, let's get this chapter started before you get bored of my rants.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Blake's Semblance would be time-related.**

**Puella Magi Madoka Magica is the product of Gen Urobotchi's wonderfully twisted mind and belongs to Studio SHAFT, otherwise it would be Puella Magi Hitomi Magica (now with more tummy punching).**

**All mentioned properties and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"I love you~" Nora cooed quietly to a pancake plushie in her arms, before showing it to Ren. "Isn't he beautiful?"

Ren chuckled. "Yes, Nora, yes he is." He shook his head, sighing.

Pyrrha, meanwhile, polished Milo, humming quietly to herself.

"So much dirt on it..." The spearmaiden muttered under her breath.

Ren tilted his head. "I'm...pretty sure that's the fourth time you've cleaned all of our weapons."

"Nonsense, Ren." Pyrrha chided him, frustrated. "You always have to keep your weapons in top condition. You never know when they're needed!"

Nora giggled. "Well...you sound a bit irritable~ Jaune troubles?"  
The spearmaiden grumbled at her, continuing to polish her spear. "Hmph."

Ren whispered over to his girlfriend. "I think it's because she hasn't managed to get him on a date with her-"  
"Shut up." Pyrrha calmly glared at both of them. "I-I have other reasons apart from that."

"Don't sweat it, Pyrrha..." The berserker approached Pyrrha and hugged her tightly, smiling. "You'll get your day!"

Pyrrha exhaled deeply, sinking into Nora's hug. "I know, I know. I just...now that I actually have a chance with him, it seems like everything is working against us..."  
"To be fair, you decided to ask him out when there was a wild crazy bunnygirl riding around and running people over indiscriminately with a shopping cart. Trust me, odds are he'll end up with you anyway.

Elf seems intent on shipping you with him-"  
"Hey, guys." Jaune pushed his way into the dorm. Pyrrha's mood immediately lightened as she looked up at him.

"Hello, Jaune-kun..."

"Oh, hey." The knight smiled and waved at her. "Guys, you doing anything?"

"No." The gunslinger sighed. "It's been a slow day."  
"So, erm, remember that time we all promised to watch that one magical girl anime...Madoka Magica, I think it was called, and we all said yeah we'd do it and stuff?" The knight inquired.

Nora nodded. "Mhm. Why?"  
"Well, erm, Yang just lent me the DVD for it." Jaune presented a slightly-worn case of the DVD, with a sticker of the Lagann pasted over Mami's head and Yang's name in marker across the spine.

"I heard it's pretty good, too."  
Ren blinked, before chuckling to himself quietly. "Oh, Jaune..."  
"Huh?"  
"Nothing."

Nora cheered. "Woo! Anime watching marathon! I'll get the popcorn!"  
"I call sitting next to Jaune-kun." Pyrrha sat down on the dorm's couch, dragging Jaune over to her.

Ren sighed. He gave his team a mischievous smirk.

"You people are so screwed..."

"Huh?"

"Let's just say you won't be finding this anime very..._soft_. That would be a good word, yes."

"Madoka Magica..." Pyrrha nodded slowly, thinking. "Is it that anime which Yang and Blake were cosplaying characters from?"

"Yeah." The knight nodded. "Come to think of it, I saw some _really_ convincing cosplays of the girls from the anime, too. Their names were even Mami and Homura, would you believe it?"

Ren nearly spat out the water he'd been drinking at that moment. "Seriously, Elf?!"  
"Huh?"  
"N-nothing. Just pop in the DVD already." The gunslinger requested.

'_Oh, they're going to __**love**__ this.'_

* * *

"So, typical magical girl anime with an ominous start." Jaune noted, watching the beginning sequence closely. "...although that beginning bit with that Kyubey is weird.

Say, doesn't Kyubey look like those Incubators Professor Goodwitch said nobody should trust?"

Ren nodded. "Of course. Where do you think the inspiration came from?"  
"So...err...why's that the case? She doesn't exactly look harmful. I THINK it's a she, at any rate..."

"You'll see soon enough, my young Padawan." Ren chuckled evily. "You will see..."

"Madoka kinda reminds me of Ruby..." Nora noted, tapping her chin. "They're both kinda bubbly, happy and all fuzzy inside!"

"Guess that makes Sayaka Weiss." Pyrrha remarked. "Although...she doesn't exactly seem Weiss-like..."  
"You're much more correct than you think." Ren responded, an enigmatic smile on his face.

"Huh?" Jaune tilted his head. "Ren, you're not making any sense. What do you know that we don't? Actually, don't answer that."  
"I wasn't going to."

"And, therefore, that makes Homura Blake, and Mami Yang." Nora declared after each girl was introduced onscreen.

"Pretty sure Yang never threatened Blake with anything." Jaune responded, nodding slowly. "So...Homura's trying to kill Kyubey for some reason, probably the same reason Goodwitch says not to trust him. Come to think of it, dad always said he was a scumbag who reminded him of some people his good friend once fought..."

"Well, Kyubey DOES seem Anti-Spiral-ish..." Nora commented, nodding.

"Don't tell me you're buying that weird theory Blake's peddling that my dad's Kamina." The knight scoffed dismissively. "As if that'd be true. Wouldn't I have blue hair or something?"

"I always thought that was a recessive trait." Ren remarked.

"Not you too!" Jaune cried, exasperated. "Seriously! Dammit, Blake-"

"W-wait, shush! Shush! I'm trying to listen to Mami-sempai here!" Nora held her finger up, shushing everyone. "Mami-san is best magical girl."

Ren shook his head, chuckling darkly. "I wouldn't get too attached to Mami, Nora. I wouldn't get a_head _of ourselves in doing so."

"I REALLY don't want to know what you're implying, Ren." Jaune slapped his forehead with his palm.

...

"WOO! Nora cheered, watching Mami blow up the Witch Gertrud. "Mami! Mami! Mami!"

Ren was busy suppressing chuckles. "Like I said, don't get a_head _of yourself, Nora. Things are about to come to a _head_. Losing your _head_ during this next episode is probably inevitable.

...dammit, I've turned into Yang. Damn you Elf."

"Why are you making head puns?" Jaune stared at him curiously.

"Like I said, you'll figure it out soon enough."

"I'm not paying attention to her." Pyrrha stated. "I'd be paying more attention to Homura. What's she playing at? What does she know that they don't?"  
"Huh?" The knight stared at the spearmaiden. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean...why is she trying to kill Kyubey? And why is she trying to keep Madoka away from him?"

"Good point...she's probably trying to stop her from making a contract. And if he looks like those Incubators Professor Goodwitch always sends out hunts for...no, impossible." Jaune shook his head.

Ren rolled his eyes. "Aaaaand he misses the mark. You were _this_ close, Jaune. This close."

"You've got a point...but still, we've got to wait and see, right?" Jaune reassured Pyrrha, ignoring Ren.

"I suppose so." The spearmaiden sighed. "Although...I must wonder about Madoka. When is SHE going to contract? That seems almost inevitable.

And what will happen when she does? There has to be a reason why Homura doesn't want it to happen so much..."  
"I don't care." Nora said cheerfully. "If it's scary, Mami-san will make it all better!"

* * *

"...Mami?" Jaune stared at the screen in shock as the infamous twist of episode three happened. Ren merely smiled evilly.

"I warned you this anime wasn't about to pull punches."

"...what." Pyrrha was speechless. "...t-that..."

Nora sniffled, saluting the TV screen. Standing up, she allowed a single tear to roll down her cheek in respect for the fallen magical girl.

"Mami-san was a true hero, the most motherly of magical girls. Her life was a tragedy, cut short before she could finally gain the friends she'd long desired. May she rest well upon the cake planet.

And now, to perform a salute in her memory." She whipped out Magnhild to pull off said 'salute', but Ren managed to pull it out of her hands before she fired a single grenade.

"Oookay! I think that's, erm, enough!"  
"I HAVE to give Mami-san a 21-gun salute! It is the ULTIMATE sign of respect for the perfect magical girl!"

"Nora, she's not real..." Pyrrha reminded her.

"That can be put into question, actually." Ren remarked quietly enough to be ignored.

"Okay, I'm back. I'm recovered." Jaune exhaled deeply. "...b-but I did NOT see that one coming."  
"Tis what you get when you watch something written by the Urobutcher." The gunslinger said, shrugging. "Seriously, you've watched Fate Zero. Did you NOT expect Mami to die?"  
"...touché. Although in my defence, I didn't know he wrote this anime!"

Pyrrha, meanwhile, was still thinking.

"If Homura's only power is energy blasts, then how did she manage to escape being eaten by the Dessert Witch..."

"See, Pyrrha knows to watch Homura." Ren said, clapping. "That's the best way to do it."

"Also, I have a feeling Sayaka's going to contract. I mean, she's pretty clearly in love with this Kyousuke guy." The spearmaiden continued. "And Kyubey DID say you could do anything with wishes."

"If Mami's anything to go by, that's not going to end well either..." Jaune said, shuddering. "...I-I'm not sure I want to keep watching this anime."

"Oh no, keep going. You'll love it." Ren gave them an evil smirk.

'_Nicely played, Xiao Long. Nicely played.'_

...

"Madoka's got a point. I'd be too scared to be a magical girl after seeing my senpai get her freaking HEAD bitten off!" Jaune yelled. "And what the hell, Homura?! I thought you were trying to protect her! Why're you treating Madoka like that?!"

"She has reasons." Ren shrugged casually.

"I suppose we'll see those later then, after Sayaka gets blown up or something."  
"You have no idea, Jaune."

Nora tilted her head. "...who's going to fight all the Witches now that Great Heroine Mami-san is dead?"

"Guess we're about to find out." Jaune shrugged as Madoka walked into the Witch's lair shortly after stopping the mass suicide.

"...what do you know, Sayaka contracted. And she's a swordfighter with water motifs." Pyrrha noted. "The comparison to Weiss was even closer than I thought."

Nora clenched her fists. "COME ON MADOKA!" She yelled. "YOU CAN FIGHT IT! YOU'RE JUST AS BADASS AS EVERYONE ELSE! EVEN IF Y-oh Sayaka killed them already never mind."

Ren gave Pyrrha an enigmatic look. "Oh, it's closer than _that_, Pyrrha. Much closer."

"Wait, who's this girl?" The berserker stared curiously at Kyoko as she made her first appearance.

"...YAAAAAY NEW BADASS PERSON! Great Heroine Kyoko-chan will save the day!"

"I'm astonished she isn't saddened by this series." Jaune muttered.

"She was immune to that eldritch piece of writing we called a troll fic. I'm sure Puella Magi won't even dent her psyche." Ren remarked, chuckling darkly.

* * *

Jaune sighed irritably. "Sayaka, you're a moron. Seriously, what were you thinking, wishing for that?!"  
"She probably thought it'd make him fall in love with her." Pyrrha sighed. "I know how that feels, I suppose..."

Ren nodded slowly. "Yeah, I remember why people hated Sayaka so much."

"And what did Homura mean by 'magical girls can't be saved'?" The spearmaiden shuddered. "This can't end well..."

The gunslinger tilted his head. "You're good at predicting things, Pyrrha. You notice that?"  
Jaune frowned. "I don't think we want predictions to be _right_ this time around."

"Okay, well, Kyoko-chan and Sayaka are about to fight." Nora remarked. "Kyoko-chan will obviously win, her adorableness and greatness is superior."  
Jaune shrugged. "Or, you know, she's a more experienced magical girl."

"That too. But mainly that she's the best magical girl."

...

"The more I look into it, the more I think Homura's not a bad guy." Pyrrha muttered. "...she's clearly more knowledgeable than anyone about the magical girl system. She's trying to save Madoka alone- she doesn't care about Sayaka and by the looks of it barely cared about Mami, too. She also wiped out that Witch where the apparently most experienced girl in Mitakihara couldn't...

What isn't she telling them?"

"I think we should be thinking about what Kyoko's playing at." Jaune reminded her. "Why's she-"  
"Don't question Kyoko-chan!" Nora yelled at him. "She is best magical girl."  
"I thought Mami was-"  
"KYOKO IS BEST MAGICAL GIRL"

"Um, Madoka?!" The knight snapped at the screen. "Is THROWING a Soul Gem off a bridge a good idea?! Sayaka might need that!

...Sayaka?"

"..." Then it hit Pyrrha exactly _what _the Puella Magi were.

"...Soul Gems...oh my Oum." Her eyes widened in horror.

Even Nora was silenced for a moment.

"S-so...t-they're all...zombies?"

Ren sighed exasperatedly. "Yes, finally, someone gets it. Soul Gems. Phylacteries. Same thing. Really, the name made it obvious.

Yes, they're zombies. Adorable, magic-shooting sparkly non-brain eating zombies, but zombies."

"How are you not so saddened by this?!" Jaune inquired loudly. "T-the main characters are _liches_! LICHES!"

"I've seen enough Headless Mami memes to no longer take this series seriously."

"...that's a meme?!"

"Where do you think all the head jokes came from?"

"...that crosses the line so many times I don't know whether to cry or laugh."

* * *

"Kyoko's secretly hot for Sayaka." Nora declared. " Called it!"

"She recovered quickly." Jaune remarked drily.

"Yeah, took her only one linebreak." Ren added.

Pyrrha paid rapt attention to Kyoko expositing her backstory. "...wow. Just...is it a requirement for magical girls in this universe to have really sucky lives?"  
"Basically, yes." The gunslinger said, shrugging. "Think Evangelion."

"I'm only wondering what Blake would do if she saw it." Jaune mused to himself.

"Oh, she's seen it." Ren said, chuckling. "She wanted to dive in there and punch everyone in the face before killing Walpurgisnacht with the Gurren Lagann."

"Typical Blake response, then."

"Indeed."

"...Oum dammit, Hitomi." The knight sighed. "Well, Sayaka's probably dead now."

"You're right, but not for the reason you think."

"...she's gone mad..." Pyrrha noted, shuddering. "She's completely berserk..."

...

"...oh my Oum." Jaune muttered under his breath, just as the episode ended. "...they turn into Witches.

Too much despair and they turn into Witches.

This isn't a magical girl show.

This is a cosmic horror story."

Pyrrha shook her head in pity. "...poor Sayaka..."

Nora blinked, surprised. "I...did not see that coming."

"I've no jokes to make about this part. Except the customary Morning Rescue one, but..." Ren sighed.

"...you guys now see what I meant?"

"Definitely..." The knight said with a ragged voice. "...let's just finish this thing."

"Indeed, Jaune." Pyrrha nodded in assent, pulling herself a little closer to Jaune for comfort. Jaune allowed her to, adjusting himself to allow her to make herself comfortable.

...

"Kyubey...you bastard." Jaune muttered under his breath. "Now I know why Professor Goodwitch hates the Incubators so much.

So all of them were screwed? All of them?"

"Yes. Even Homura will, one day." Ren noted. "Although Rebellion proves otherwise for a different reason, they are, for the present moment, screwed the moment they turn into magical girls."

"...that's not how entropy works." Pyrrha grumbled.

"It isn't. But then this wouldn't be nearly as effective."

"...Kyoko...chan?" Nora whispered plaintively.

"...and even she's dead, too." Jaune sighed. "This story's just..._dark_."

"Always darkest before the dawn." Ren reminded him. "And besides, your father would know that, wouldn't he?"  
"He's not Kamina, dammit!" Jaune snapped.

"Oh, trust me. Eventually, you'll realise Blake and I were right."

...

"And now we know why Homura's so...cold." Jaune stated, feeling even more drained. "...seeing all of that...happen..."

"Watching Mami try to kill everyone and having to kill Madoka, too..." Pyrrha added. "That had to have been hard..." She pressed further into Jaune for comfort, and he seemed to be hugging her close for his own.

Ren blinked briefly. "Darkest before the dawn, as I said."

Nora was just silent.

Nothing really could be said.

* * *

"Mitakihara's doomed." Jaune noted. "I mean, Walpurgisnacht's here. Homura's the last magical girl, and she can't hurt her. Everyone else is dead. The only thing she achieved is Madoka not contracting.

Why should we watch this to the end?"  
"Because, Jaune, it gets better." Ren said calmly.  
"How can it?!"

"...and now Madoka's about to contract..." Pyrrha stated. "...it's all over."

Nora was feebly muttering to herself. "...i-its okay...it'll be fine...it's just a show..."

Ren looked at his watch. "I'm waiting for you idiots to realise something."  
"What is there to realise?"  
"Despite the long cycle of civilization, despite everything pointing towards this climax..." Ren waited for maximum dramatic effect, giving everyone a smile as they realised what he was getting at.

"Nobody's wished to stop Witches from existing yet."

...

"...how." Jaune stared at the screen, dumbfounded. "After all that...darkness...she pulled it back."  
"Madoka..." Nora whispered, before yelling. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW SHE WAS A BADASS! TOTALLY CALLED IT!"

"Oh, what did you think was going to happen?" Ren stated. "Come on. The show's named after her. She was going to do something awesome."

"B-but...she...doesn't exist anymore." Pyrrha added. "...how is that a happy ending?"  
"That's the best you're getting, Nikos."

"At least everyone got what they wanted..." The knight said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, Mami's not alone, Sayaka's not miserable as she gets to have fun in the afterlife and Kyoko gets to be exactly what she wanted to be. A hero.

And Homura gets hers- Madoka never became a Witch."

Jaune sighed, standing up. "Well, I'm going to go return this to Yang and tell her to never make us watch this damned thing again. I don't want to have my psyche smashed down like that ever again, thank you..."

Pyrrha nodded quickly. "Seconded."

The knight put on his jacket and walked out to do so.

* * *

After several moments had passed, Nora raised a finger. "...so, where does Kyoko get all that Pocky?"

"Yeah. Well. You can go ask Kyoko that herself." Ren said, chuckling and holding up his watch. "Heheh...three...two..."  
"What are you counting down for?" Pyrrha inquired.

"One." The gunslinger breathed in slowly, before turning to the door.

"Kyoko, you're completely gay for Sayaka and want to screw her right now, don't you?"

A beat passed. Nora and Pyrrha stared at him. Ren stepped out of the way of the door just as it flew off of its hinges, kicked down by none other than Kyoko herself, in full magical girl form.

"Alright, who the hell said that?!" The girl pointed her spear at the three occupants of the room. "I swear...if someone says that again, I'm going to bring this room down on your heads."

Nora nearly did a spittake. "K-Kyoko?! What are you doing here?!"  
"Heh. So my reputation beat me here." The magical girl scoffed. "If you really must know, I was looking for a little rabbit-eared bastard. Apparently he's been around here. Any of you see him? Long ears, smug smile, any where?  
"You're a month too late." Pyrrha calmly responded. "He got launched out of here by a giant mecha."  
"A giant mecha...what the hell..." Kyoko shook her head. "Anyway...so, you three sure you didn't say what I think you just said?"  
"No. Try the room down the corridor. Oh, and I think Kyubey's in there too." Ren said, smirking.

Kyoko grinned sadistically at him, forcing him to resist the urge to shudder. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

She left the room, storming down to CRDL dorm- thankfully, Cardin and Sky were currently outside doing other things, leaving them free of the inevitable rampage the other two were about to encounter.

Nora stared at Ren. "How did you know Kyoko was-"  
"Fourth wall, dearie. Her cameo was inevitable."

"...was that necessary to set her on team CRDL?" Pyrrha said, exasperated.

Ren shrugged. "Saves Nora having to break their knees for making fun of her pancake plushie."  
Nora smirked, giving him a hug. "Awww, Renny~ Always so thoughtful~"

Nearby, the panicked screams of Russel and Dove were heard.

* * *

Later, Yang would punch herself over missing the chance to actually talk to one of the Puella Magi in person.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT RANDOM KYOKO CAMEO, HUH?! Okay you probably did. BUT STILL.**

**Next chapter, Fire Emblem Awakening. So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, thoughts, reviews, criticisms, suggestions and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	28. Weiss Reacts to Fire Emblem Awakening!

**Weiss Reacts to Fire Emblem Awakening!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Before we begin, I have to request something once more- no more MLP requests. I confess that I have little to no interest in the show, and although I've heard a lot of good things about the show, having watched a couple of episodes, I just don't find it interesting. I recognize you guys might find it interesting, but the chances of an MLP chapter are fairly unlikely. Not impossible- my opinion could change in future- but for the foreseeable future, it's not going to happen.**

**Back on topic, today, we'll be covering a game that's captured my attention for a very long time. Such a long time, in fact, that there is a Reactsverse fic that takes place IN Fire Emblem- Lucina Reacts, for those keeping track *cough*selfpromotion*cough, but more to the point, time for more Weiss ragequitting. Huehuehue. Hahah. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH**

**okay stopping now sorry gomenasai gomenasai gomenasai**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Sun would be a gamer. **

**Fire Emblem Awakening belongs to Nintendo, otherwise- oh wait better save those taglines for Lucina Reacts ****#TotallyNotShamelessSelfPromotion**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Yang." Weiss lifted her SchneeDS screen towards her. "What's this gift-wrapped icon?"

"Huh?" The brawler looked over at her, tilting her head before shaking her head. "Okay, I didn't do that. Open it anyway."

Weiss clicked on it, revealing it to be-

"Fire Emblem?" Weiss blinked. "Um...thanks, Yang. H-how did you know I wanted this game?"

"I told you, it wasn't me." The brawler repeated, frowning. "I appreciate your faith, but I'm a little bankrupt from buying you that_ dakimakura_ for Christmas."

"...and now you remind me how much I hate you." Weiss grumbled. "Seriously. Then who did?"

"I did." Blake raised her hand. "That's my Lien debt cleared. I don't have to pay you for the bet now- I just spent thirty Lien to buy you the game."

The heiress stared at her.

"...really? THAT's the reason you bought me the game?"  
"Of course not!" Blake looked offended. "What kind of a friend do you think I am? That would be unmanly. I CHAFE at the thought you think I'd be unmanly enough to do so.

A REAL man would not just buy you the game, but buy you a Figma with it and a poster!"

"...you seriously went to the effort of buying all that for me? Blake, I'm surprised." Weiss blinked, smiling a little. "Thanks."

"It was Ruby's idea." The catgirl stated. "She knew you liked strategy games and she KINDA saw that this game was on your wishlist."

"Huh...thanks. Maybe you're less of a moron than I thought you are." Weiss remarked semi-jokingly.

Blake sighed. "Aaaand there goes the heartwarming moment."

"We're showing this to Jaune's sisters." Yang declared. "I mean, Elf-kun made them look like Tharja and Lucina, after all..."  
"Hey, what DID happen to Jaune's sisters?" Weiss inquired. "Weren't they going here?"  
"I dunno. Maybe Elf'll write a spinoff about them or something." Yang said, shrugging. "By the way, I'm still waiting on that Mami spinoff, Elf."

"Aren't we all?" Blake responded, before looking over to Weiss. "By the way, feel free to ask us for advice. We've finished the game. We know how it works."  
"Y-yeah, sure. You're probably going to pull something stupid and troll me, aren't you?" The heiress glared at them. "I-I don't trust you." She booted the game up, reading into the screen.

Yang smirked. "Weiss, remember to take casual mode. You'll thank me later~"

"A-are you questioning my ability to play strategy games?" Weiss retorted. "The type of games I am perfectly capable of beating you at?"

"I'm questioning your desire not to rage."

"Pfft." The heiress scoffed. "That settles it. I'll just have to prove I can beat this game without this 'casual' mode.

...you're trying to pull your stupid reverse psychology antics on me, aren't you?"

"Of course not!" Yang declared theatrically, placing a hand on her chest as if to look offended. "Who do you take me for, a liar?"  
Weiss looked at her suspiciously, but started up the game.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

* * *

"Hm. Magic as my asset, luck as my flaw..." Weiss finished setting her character up. "Alright."

"She seems a bit too tall and well-endowed." Blake drily remarked. "You sure it's you-"  
"S-shut up. Of COURSE it's me." The heiress retorted. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Just saying, pretty sure Robin's chest is larger than yours." Yang reminded her in a sing-song voice.

"She's a fictional character. I-I'm not jealous." Weiss responded quickly.  
"Oh, that can be questioned, dear." Blake added with a mischievous smirk.

"W-what's that supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing. Now, get to playing the game already!" Yang snapped impatiently.

Weiss glared at her. "Alright, bossyboots."

"You're one to talk."

"Just shut up and let me play!" Weiss yelled. "Alright, now...is this a tutorial? ...why can't I pair Chrom up with Robin yet?"

"Oh, you've got to turn that off in options." The brawler added. "It's weird, I know."

"They tout Pair Up as a feature and force you to enable it yourself..." The heiress grumbled. "Figures..."  
...

"Alright, we killed the obviously evil cultist man. Now- wait, Robin, what are you doing?" Weiss stared at the screen. "Robin, what are you- Robin, don't stab Chrom. Don't- she did it. He's dead now.

What? This makes absolutely no sense! Ok-oh, wait, wait, it was the prologue. I spoke too soon. Okay, good, good.

So, when do I get Lucina?"

Blake stared at her. "Don't tell me you bought the game just for Lucina. Seriously, there's about eight hours of gameplay- that's how fast I did it, anyway- before she becomes playable."

"You'd be wrong. Although seeing as she's apparently billed as one of the main protagonists..." Weiss shrugged. "Eh. Whatever.

These incompetent bandits! How dare they stand my way? I'll see to it that- oh. Ow. OW! They hurt!"

"That is what you have a Thunder tome for." Blake calmly reminded her.

"...Frederick, what are you doing? You're the experienced knight, KILL THEM!"

"I'm not sure that's a good-" Yang held a finger up, before Blake shushed her.

"Let her learn the hard way," she whispered, suppressing a giggle. The catgirl turned to Weiss.

"Okay, you'll want to use him for anything you find overly hard-"  
"JUST WIPE THESE FOOLS FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH!" Weiss commanded.

"...wow, Weiss. Emperor complex?" Yang remarked teasingly.

"Shut up."

...

"...zombies? Pfft." Weiss scoffed. "They're nothing compared to my greatness. "I'll just have to eliminate them before they can kill me."

"Careful, you're low on health." Yang reminded her. Weiss nodded, sighing.

"Right, right. Q-quickly, heal me!"

Blake chuckled. "Oh, panicking?"  
"Of course not. This is just a minor setback. Even if our medic is somewhat wounded ,these incompetent zombies won't be able to win.

...and speaking of which, where is Lucina? What's she doing?! Didn't she JUST come in?!" The heiress yelled.

"I dunno. Probably sticking around in limbo or something." Yang shrugged. "I personally didn't understand why she didn't stick around.

Weiss' eyes narrowed. "I'm going to need to punish her for treason, letting us deal with these creatures alone. Whatever, her punishment for abandoning us can come later.

...well, that was easy. They stood no chance against me!" The heiress scoffed at the victory screen.

"What's the point of all the other units? Just let me handle them."

"Boy, Weiss, you're really getting into this!" Yang noted, smiling. "You...realise this is a strategy game, right?"  
"I suppose. Fine, the overpowered knight and I will handle most of the enemies. The rest can try to catch up."

Blake chuckled. "Oh, Weiss, you're not doing this right."

"Jealous that I broke the game and you didn't?"  
"All I'm saying, this is going to bite you in the back somewhere down the line." The catgirl shrugged casually, giving her an enigmatic smile.

* * *

Ruby walked in, munching on a cookie. She looked over at Weiss, waving.

"Hey!" The reaper said, her mouth muffled by her biscuits. "What're you doing?"  
"Playing Fire Emblem."

"Going power-mad, more like." Blake responded. "It's not natural to laugh maniacally as you roast the level boss."  
"She shouldn't have thrown spears at me like an incompetent."

Yang snapped her fingers. "Oh, right! Next chapter, you fight Lucina as a boss!"  
Weiss smirked, rubbing her hands together. "Excellent. Punishment shall be rendered.

Hehehehe...the Holy Schnee Empire shall continue its rampage."  
Ruby held up a finger. "I'm pretty sure you're not an empire-"  
"It's the Holy Schnee Empire, Ruby, and I will call it that!" The heiress snapped. "Now shush, doling out punish- wait, what? She can move? Wh-ow! How can she hurt so much?! What is this, a joke?!"

"Don't underestimate the second boss." Yang shrugged. "It's not that hard to kill her anyway."

"Indeed. She's hardly a challenge..." The heiress declared. "I shall prevail! WIPE HER OUT, MY UNDERLINGS! RUSH HER! RUSH HEEEER!"

Ruby giggled, sitting next to Weiss on a cookie plushie.

"You're so adorable when you act like this~" The reaper hugged her side fondly.

"Why thank you." Weiss smiled, kissing her on the cheek before turning back to the game. "Now, if you excuse me, I shall celebrate my vi-okay, seriously. You're still not joining.

What is wrong with you, lady?"

"Oh, she won't join for a while yet, Weiss." Yang said, shrugging. "Not for a long while..."

"Pfft. We don't need her. We got this person with a weird name who looks competent." The heiress said, shrugging. "I like the look of him. Perhaps when my empire is established, he shall be my bodyguard."

"That's one way to interpret the game, I suppose..." Blake muttered.

...

"...throwing a load of dragons at the person with the dragon-slaying sword." Weiss blinked, clapping slowly. "Excellent job, King Gangrel."

"Don't get too happy, Weiss." Yang teased her. "It's only easy mode."  
"S-shut up. Y-you're just jealous because you aren't as magnificent as me!" Weiss snapped.

"When you're done, send your team over. Let's see how long they last~"

"You can do that?" The heiress tilted her head, genuinely curious.

"Of course. Anyway, we're digressing." Yang held her arm up. "Continue on!"

"I'm really getting into the story here..." Ruby whispered, munching on cookies. "And I've already finished this game, too."  
"Has everyone in this damned dorm finished this game but me?!" Weiss cried.

Yang and Blake shared a nod. "Yep."

"...oh, wait. Hah!" Weiss scoffed dismissively. "They think they'll actually get into this castle.

If the Holy Schnee Imperial Guard has anything to say about it, they won't.

...and come to think of it, isn't their leader that weird guy from the intro? ...okay, screw it. I'm killing him first.

Still wondering why Lucina refuses to join us, by the way."

Yang shrugged. "She wants to be a mysterious protector person."

"Oh, _that_ phase." Blake shuddered. "I know that one. Nora went through it once.

She put on a pancake mask and called herself 'Waffleslayer'..."

"Not the hero pancakes need, but the one pancakes deserve..." Ruby quoted from one of Nora's speeches as this alias. "...mhm..."

"Shush, trying to slay traitors and incompetents here!" Weiss snapped. "This is ridiculously easy. What made them think they'd win?"  
"Oh, you're gonna get a surprise in a couple of chapters, believe me." Yang said, giggling.

Ruby looked over at her. "What chapter is she now?"  
"Six, if Validar's here."  
"...oh." The reaper looked worried. "Oh dear. She's gonna hate the desert maps."  
"She's been pretty reliant on foot units." Yang noted. She turned to Blake, smirking.

"And no mages apart from Robin, too..."

"Wait for it..." The catgirl started counting the minutes until she reached them.

* * *

"WHAT IS THIS STUPIDITY" Weiss yelled at the screen. "I can hardly move! It's just sand, you morons! How can't you move across it?!"

"It's not like they're on camels, Weiss." The brawler reminded her. "Just use flying units, it'll be fine."  
"Ugh. I feel so limited...w-wait, what, that girl can turn into a dragon?!" The heiress sighed in exasperation. "Why didn't I get her earlier?!"

"Watch out, dark mages." Yang reminded her helpfully.

"I can see that, Xiao Long. I'm not _blind_."

"They're about to take Lissa out. And since you decided to take no healing items and only one medic..." Blake added, chuckling. "Man, you really are terrible at anything that isn't Civilization, aren't you?"  
"I'm not terrible at this!" Weiss yelled at her. "I'm nearly nine chapters in..." She sighed, grumbling at the screen and moving to rectify her mistake.

"...although...that did spare me a lot of trouble, Blake."

"As well it should've." The catgirl said with a smug smirk.

"...hah. This boss is pathetic. With a dragon, mages everywhere and half my army on him..." The heiress smiled.

"Yet another victory for the Holy Schnee Empire. Vae victis."  
"What?" Yang looked at her.

"Woe to the conquered."

Yang sighed. "Don't get too cocky. Next chapter's going to be a bit harder than you think..."

Weiss scoffed. "Oh, I hardly think-"

_Minutes later..._

"WHY ARE HALF MY UNITS DEAD?!" The heiress screamed. The enemy army was surrounding what was left of hers. Nearly everyone except Chrom, Robin, Frederick and a couple of others were still alive.

Yang sighed. "Well, firstly, you tried to move all your non-mages first."

"Then, you left nearly everyone underleveled." Blake added. "I mean, seriously, in a game like this, not a good idea. We tried to warn you, but-"

Weiss facepalmed. "I am a complete and utter moron."  
"Oh, and you also forgot to buy healing items." Yang added, giggling.  
"Don't forget that you charged in madly." The catgirl cautioned her, wagging her finger. "Seriously, where did your strategy go?"

"...screw this!" Weiss dropped her 3DS on the bed. "I'm done with this game!"

With that, the heiress stormed out. Ruby frowned, following after her to give her a hug and try to calm her down.

Yang and Blake shared a look.

"...rage quit?"  
"Mhm." Blake shrugged. "It was inevitable."

"Eh. Random toast of energy drinks?" Yang whipped out a bottle of Blue Cow.

Blake shrugged, whipping out a bottle of Kamogawa Energy. "Sure."

They did indeed toast, in celebration of a successful ragequit for Weiss.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, well, that's done. Next chapter, another fanfic; ****The Draigg's ****The Weiss List. Yep, more Weiss stuff. **

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, criticisms, suggestions and reviews and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**

**Oh and because I feel nice today, have a stinger/brick joke.**

* * *

_Hours later..._

_Once I was a dragon and once I was strong!_

_Look at me, what I've become!  
Now I see...the dragon again I must be!_

_I must regain what I lost long ago, the fires inside me still glow!  
To the skies!  
A dragon again will arise!_

Blake bobbed her head along to the lyrics, keeping her headphones in while lying back in the Lagann.

She was underneath Beacon in her secret mecha lair, where she kept the Gurren Lagann, Shinkiro and Nirvash typeZERO recreations, as well as her latest project, currently covered with several large sheets of tarp.

"Man...I love Iron Savior..." The catgirl muttered, sighing happily, before a book landed on her head and plopped onto the Lagann's control panel. Rubbing her head and glaring at it, Blake picked it up, pausing her music.

"Wait, what the..." The catgirl recognized it.

It was a black, slightly charred book with the Mark of Grima on it...and a small signature on the back. Blake smirked, realising what it was- a present from her trolling idol, one of the greatest trolls in the realm and a powerful magus.

"I wonder where this was all the-" Blake mused to herself as she opened the book, hoping to see it immediately flip to lemon fanfiction of her and Yang.

Instead, she found a note, written in short, concise script, fitting of scientific notes.

_-Intriguing. This book really does seem to originate from an Outrealm. _

_To the finder, I commend your efforts for such an excellent charm on the book._

_I regret having to send it back. It was fun examining it._

_Regards from Ylisse,_

_Miriel_

"Miriel?" Blake blinked, surprised. "Then that means...wait a minute. Did I go through...Ylisse when I did that test that day?"

Then, it hit Blake.

The catgirl began laughing maniacally, clutching her belly.

"Hohohoh...so I CAN access alternate universes with this baby..." Blake declared proudly. "...oh, this'll be _awesome._

Beat that, Ren from that yandere Velvet fic. I have a giant universe-hopping mecha!"

* * *

**END**


	29. Special Chapter: The Weiss List!

**Weiss Reacts to The Weiss List!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! I had the...ehem, "fortune" of reading the Die for Our Ship pages on TvTropes. For all of you familiar with my material, you already know how much I "love" that stuff. Hohohoho, nearly enough to write a chapter "devoted" to said thing and how a nice, smiling Nora with Magnhild and Gungnir would respond to it, instead of giving you guys a nice, fluffy chapter about Weiss reading a nice fluffy fic about Weiss getting what she wants. Course, I'm too nice for that~**

**Aaaanyway, rant over. A shout out to ****The Draigg,**** who wrote The Weiss List as well as a bunch of other awesome fics- go read them instead, they're much funnier and much for fun- and let's get this chapter on the road! And quickly before I sink back into ranting.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Yang would be dressing up in a maid outfit at some point *drools***

**The Weiss List belongs to The Draigg.**

**All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Hey, Blake." Yang looked over her teammate's shoulder. "What'cha doing?"

"Shush." Blake glared at her. She was busy drawing plans for what Yang thought looked like a ship's hull before hiding the plans. "I'm concentrating."  
"On what?"

"Something." The catgirl then sighed, exasperated. "Well, there goes my concentration. Thanks, Yang."

Yang chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head. "Sorry! I didn't mean to..."

"...all's forgiven." Blake exhaled, smiling. "Eh. I was getting a little bored, anyway. Anything you want to do?"

"...ehhhh...actually...I wanted to check this fic out." Yang grabbed her laptop and opened it up, the screen turning on to reveal the DustFiction archives.

"What fic?"  
The brawler pointed towards a fic entitled 'The Weiss List'. Blake skimmed the description.

"...Weiss reading self-help books?" Blake snickered. "That actually sounds like our Weiss."

"I'm pretty sure it's a little too late for our Weiss to read those." Yang scoffed. "We drove her insane already."

The catgirl laughed. "Yeah. We should get Weiss to read this."

"I can just see her raging..." Yang giggled insanely. "...where is Weiss, anyway?"  
"I dunno, doing something. Ruby had to do some homework in the library, so..." Blake thought for a moment, tapping her chin. "...try looking for Jaune. She's probably hanging around him."

"And Jaune's in the canteen!" The brawler snapped her fingers. Yang adjusted her jacket and began to stroll out.

"Thanks, Blakey. I'll see you here in a couple of minutes."

_Meanwhile, in the canteen..._

Weiss chuckled, clutching a cup of coffee. "So, your sister nearly got blew that Fionn boy up, huh?"  
"Yeah." Jaune sighed. "Maeve's not really all that patient. I'm pretty sure she wanted to place a hex on Russell, too, for apparently saying something remotely perverted."

"How do you deal with that?" The heiress inquired. "Winter was a bit cold, and Elsa isn't exactly the poster child of 'insane'..."

The knight shrugged. "I dunno. My dad always said it was because I was secretly manly that I survived that stuff.

Eh. Just get used to it, I suppose-"  
"Heeeeeey." Yang sidled up to Jaune, grinning at him. "You don't mind if I borrow Weiss for a moment, Jauney-boy?"  
"Uh-"

"Great!" The brawler gave him a thumbs up, grabbed Weiss' arm and dragged her away. "Come!"  
"H-hey! Moron! L-let me go, idiot! I'm talking to Jaune!"  
"I have to show you something!"

"YANG! UNHAND ME!" The heiress struggled against Yang's vice grip as the pair left the canteen, the brawler ignoring her protests.

Jaune frowned, looking aside and taking a sip of his coffee. "...I wonder what that was about?"  
Suddenly, Aspasia, his eldest sister, ran up to him, frowning.

"Aspasia?"  
"Big bro-" The boxer corrected herself, clearing her throat. "Jaune. Sorry, have to be serious this time. Anyway, can you talk Maeve down? She wants to go hex Goodwitch for giving her a detention for homework."  
"Again?"

* * *

_Back at RWBY dorm..._

Weiss glared at Yang as she dragged her inside. "W-what was THAT for?! I was TALKING to Jaune, you dunce!"  
"We have to show you something!" The brawler complained. "And besides, these chapters are a lot more fun with you in them!"

"D-don't make up stupid excuses like that!" The heiress snapped irritably. "We're not in some stupid fanfic written by this 'ElfCollaborator' moron! And even if we were, he's probably Ren or something!"

"Weiss, don't steal our thunder. We and Velvet-chan do the meta better than you." Blake scoffed dismissively.

"Anyway, we just wanted to show you this fic we found." The brawler rolled Weiss her chair, which she took with a grumble. She looked over at Yang's laptop screen, blinking.

"...mental problems?" The heiress felt her eyelid twitch. "...self-help books?

...this fic sounds stupid. I-I don't have the urge to improve my mental health! I-I am the very PARAGON of mental health!"

Yang and Blake broke out in hysterical laughter.

"W-what's so funny?!" Weiss glared at the pair. "A-are you questioning my claim?!"

"Do you want a chronological or alphabetical list of the times you've lost your top over things?" Yang remarked. "Trust me, you've got anger issues."  
The heiress pinched her nose, breathing deeply. "...the only reason I lose my temper is because dunces like you keep doing stupid perverted antics."

"What about the time the vending machine ran out of sorbet?"  
"Or the time Sharkie-chan was missing?"  
"Or the time-"  
"I GET YOUR POINT." Weiss snapped again. "...fine, I'll read this stupid fic, but only because by now I'm sure Jaune's found something to do. Idiots..."

Weiss opened the link, reading through the first chapter.

...

"So...that afternoon. Exactly what Weiss would do." Yang remarked.

Weiss gave Yang an irritated gaze. "I-I'm not VIOLENT, y-you idiot!"

"Ouch. Teacups hurt." Blake winced, watching her story-self be hit with one. "I should know-Ruby accidentally threw one at me when she was holding those tea parties with Crescent Rose she loves doing.

...also, isn't Tukson spelled without a C? Eh."

"Okay, this fic wasn't as irritating as I initially assumed." The heiress admitted. "Still, I resent being called _violent_..."

...

"...WHAT KIND OF PERVERTED FIC IS THIS" Weiss shrieked, blushing in embarrassment. "I-I am NOT that indecent! S-stupid..."

Yang rubbed her chin. "I dunno, it seems pretty true to life."  
"Shut up."

"Yeah, I can see Weiss having weird Ruby fantasies." Blake shrugged as Weiss blanched. "It's natural. It's a sign of-"

"Yeah, yeah, that healthy adolescent sex drive you claim to have." The heiress scoffed. "I doubt it's 'natural' to have stupid fantasies like you morons..."

The brawler chuckled. "Denial much?"  
"Quiet, you. You're one to talk, buying me a body pillow of your own sister!"

"You _liked_ it."  
The heiress' cheeks reddened as she looked away. "T-That's neither here nor there, pervert."

Yang sighed theatrically. "Weiss, how many times must I teach you, I am a pervert and I am proud of it~"  
"Sadly, I have to live with that fact." The heiress drily remarked.

...

Blake looked irritated. "H-how dare Nora steal my schtick?! And comparing Heero to Simon?! Blasphemy! BLASPHEMY AGAINST MANLINESS, I TELL YOU!"

"I'm offended even more by the fact that he makes me swear!" Weiss complained. "I-I doubt I would swear or look like enough of a moron to be embarrassed about it."

"Ahhh...you look so cute in this fic!" Yang said somewhat teasingly.

"Yang...please, just shut up before I slap you..."  
"Anger issues?"

"Go away."

Blake shrugged. "At least we know you're determined to do this list."  
"Somewhat sadly, I feel like I'm going to be humiliated in the process." The heiress complained.

"Why must I be humiliated in _every_ last fic on this site?!"

"Because it's hilarious." Yang reminded her cheerfully.

"Thanks, Yang. Nice to know people enjoy seeing my suffering." Weiss rolled her eyes. "A great friend _you_ are."

"Glad to hear it!" The brawler saluted her happily.

* * *

Yang snickered at the portrayal of Weiss' art in the next chapter. Weiss glared at her angrily.

"S-shut up! I-I don't draw like that, stupid!"

"This fic is so real to life that it's hilarious." Blake remarked, holding back giggles. "I mean, Weiss with anger issues who's terrible at everything-"  
"URUSAI! URUSAI! URUSAI!" The heiress snapped. "Y-you s-stupid morons! T-this fic does NOT agree with reality!"  
"Ironically, drawing is one of the only things you can do competently." Blake remarked drily.

Weiss' response was just as dry. "I'm sure beating some sense into your brain would be easy enough for an 'incompetent' like me."

"You're jealous that my art is better~" Yang said, teasing her.

"Your art is for perverts."

"And that's what makes it awesome~"

"Do you have _ANY _shame in you, Xiao Long?"  
"If I did, I haven't seen it yet." The brawler giggled mischievously.

Weiss grumbled, turning back to the screen. "At least the mental image of Ruby begging for an apology is adorable..."

...

Yang nodded in approval. "I'd pay good money to see a Lovecraft horror game like Slender."

"I didn't personally like the idea." Blake responded, shrugging. "It wouldn't work for those abominations."

"You have a point, but still, wouldn't it be cool?"

Weiss blinked, dumbfounded.

"...I am surprised this person didn't write me doing something indecent to Ruby for comfort, going by the stupid perverted fantasy I apparently had..." The heiress crossed her arms and muttered in disapproval.

"Your words, not mine." Yang responded, smirking.

"D-don't try to make yourself look like less of a pervert than me, you dunce!" The heiress retorted. "A-and I doubt Ruby would be so easy to scare! She's tolerated worse!"

Blake scribbled down something on a notepad in the meantime.

"Make...hilarious...Cthulhu-based slice of life fic..."

"And only two pages, Weiss?" Yang scoffed. "You're bad."

"Moron! T-those games are terrible anyway!"  
"You're bad at Fire Emblem, too." Blake pointed out.

"In my defence, how was I supposed to know NOT to rely on that stupid knight?!"  
"And League." Yang added.

"Don't forget Pokemon-"  
"YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT!"

Somewhere else in the Reactsverse, Slen D. Mann was holding a tea party by himself again. He sneezed despite lacking a nose.

He was lonely as always.

...

"I-I'm not THAT cheap!" Weiss yelled. "I-I wouldn't take cookies from a vending machine! I would have them baked, to order, from the finest bakers in our employ!"  
"Not that it matters anyway, considering that the Schnees own the vending machines..." Blake commented.

"Good point."  
Yang giggled. "That's adorable. Would you really sing for Ruby?"  
"Y-you moron, is that even a question?" The heiress stared at her as if she was stupid. "O-Of course I would! How do you think we got together in the first place?!"  
"Oh yeah..." The brawler snapped her fingers. "You sang for her in the Music Festival, didn't you?"  
"Best parody of the best Haruhi episode, apparently, from the reviews." Blake chimed in.

Weiss sighed. "I can't believe you'd doubt I'd do anything for Ruby, Xiao Long. As if you weren't enough of a moron..." She scoffed, waving dismissively.

Yang smiled- a genuine, warm smile, without any malicious intent behind it.

"Good to hear it, Weiss. I'd have to destroy you if you hurt my sister, after all. At least I can trust you to take care of her."

"...pfft." The heiress rolled her eyes, the hint of a knowing smile dancing on her lips. "Just who do you take me for, a fool? Of course I will."

...

"Normal?" Weiss' eyelid twitched. "...he thinks that I'm not...normal?"

Yang patted Weiss slowly on the shoulder. "Weiss, think rationally about this..."  
"I_ AM_ NORMAL!" The heiress snapped, surprising Yang and causing her to recoil. "I-I don't need to watch stupid cartoons or act like a moron to be normal!

What kind of stupid reasoning is that?! Why would I take the likes of _Pyrrha_, _Nora_ and _Yang_ as _NORMAL?!_"  
Blake chuckled. "Apparently she thinks being completely insane is 'normal'." The catgirl sighed. Yang nodded. "Well, she does have a point. Their versions of us are pretty similar to us."  
"Apparently the author read Weiss Reacts before writing his stuff."  
"Figures."

"-And what are you dunces talking about now?!" The heiress interrupted their regularly scheduled fourth wall breakage with her ranting. "Not normal my backside..."

Yang looked over at Blake. "Recorded?"  
The catgirl held up a tiny button mic. "Already ahead of you, Yang."  
"That's my Blakey~"

...

"..." Weiss felt her fingers twitching. She was _inches_ from beating the stuffing out of this author.

"...suicidal...calling _Nora_ normal...acting like a stupid valley girl out of a bad TV show...am I supposed to be _insane_ or something?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUM AM I DOING?!"

"Asking Ruby for a little _fun_, it looks like." Yang said in the bluntest manner possible, placing her hand on Weiss' back. "Don't worry, it's natural for-"  
"PERVERT! WHY AM I A STUPID PERVERT?!"

"...our Weiss has to be the best user of denial in the history of existence." Blake remarked. "I swear, Kyon has _nothing_ on her."

"Okay...okay." The heiress breathed deeply. "I'm calm now. I'm fine."

"You won't be after next chapter." Yang pointed out helpfully.

"Shut up. I doubt he'll actually do it." Weiss said confidently.

Blake stared at her. "Did you even _read_ the rating? Or the author's notes?"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Weiss was profusely blushing, hiding her face in her arms and shaking her head.

"I-I'm doomed..."

Yang, meanwhile, was busy laughing uproariously, clutching her stomach.

"Best...lemon...EVER!"

"H-how could you enjoy reading t-that perverted chapter?!"

"Because it's truth?" The brawler shrugged. "Duh. This is just the logical conclusion of you and Ruby being girlfriends~"  
"I WILL NOT DO SOMETHING SO LEWD AND INDECENT IN PUBLIC, YOU DUNCE"

Blake chuckled. "Weiss, you'll do it with Ruby eventually, don't hide from it."

"S-shut up!"

"Denial, perhaps?"  
"GO AWAY"

...

"...and Blake, of course, suggests a lewd movie to watch." Weiss sighed in exasperation.

"Hey! I'm not the pervert, okay?" The catgirl looked offended. "I'm the badass manly-man."

Yang shrugged. "I'd probably get you guys the Bourne movies or something. Can't stand romcoms."

"Me neither." Blake muttered. "Not manly enough."

"Rubes loves them, though." Yang recounted. "Weiss, you may want to take notes."  
"...I despise romantic comedies."

"Awww, but I thought you'd do _anything_ for Ruby!"  
"There are some things worth standing up for, Xiao Long, and that's one of them."

The catgirl read eagerly on. "I'm curious. What kind of movies are they going to watch, anyway?"  
_Seconds later..._

"MD GEIST?!" Blake yelled in disbelief. "THAT movie?!"

"...it looks stupidly violent-"  
"It's _terrible_." The catgirl said, shuddering in disgust. "Now, when I say Bokurano and Puella Magi are dark, I mean they're dark. When I say _that_ movie's dark that would be an _understatement."_

"I dunno." Yang shrugged. "I liked it in a sort of 'too bad to not laugh at" sort of way."

"Don't care."

Weiss twitched.

"...she's right, blood DOESN'T work that way."

"You mean you missed all the other superviolent and stupid parts of the movie and focused on the _blood_?!" Blake stared at her in disbelief.

"I really don't care what reputation this movie has." The heiress shrugged. "Just that such a horrible anatomy mistake should not be forgiven!"

...

"Must be one of those fics where Weiss' family are jerks." Yang noted.

"Mhm." Blake noted quietly. "Although, knowing that this guy took pointers from Elf-kun, that's probably going to be subverted somewhere."  
"Where is my backbone in this fic?!" Weiss complained. "I'm confused as to why my story self would not stand up to something she needed to. Disappointed, too."

"It's a three parter! I think!" Yang declared. "Quickly, let's read it!"

The girls did indeed read said three-parter.

"...I'm not incredibly weepy..." The heiress mumbled. "...although at long last, he gets a detail about me right! My middle name! And he misspells _that_!"

"Your middle name's Brynhildr?!" Blake said, barely suppressing a chuckle.

"S-shut up! It's Brunhilde!" Weiss snapped. "...QUIT LAUGHING!"

"Weiss Brunhilde Schnee?" The catgirl said, sounding it out. "...eh, it makes sense, with the whole 'Nibelungenlied' thing her family's got. If only Freya was called Sieglinde or something..."

"...and how long would it take me to write a damned letter?! Just say what you need to!" Weiss sighed irritably.

"Sometimes, I hate reading about myself in fanfics."

"Huh. He really DID take a leaf out of Elf's book." Yang nodded. "Didn't expect that."

"It's hardly an idea limited to that moron, Yang." Weiss chided her harshly. "I'm happy that SOMEONE wrote my father as a nice person for once. And this fic, despite the amount of times it embarrassed me, actually ended relatively well.

...and there's one last chapter. " The heiress sighed.

"I'm not going to like this one, aren't I?"

...

"...Evangelion references!" Blake cheered. "Congratula-"  
"That thing doesn't even sound like a word anymore." Weiss said, grumbling. "...just leave the review already."

"I'll do it!" Yang waved her arms." Pick me! Pick me!"

"Fine! Just do it already, y-you moron!"

* * *

From: **LittleSunDragonSempai**

love this fic

just plain love it

write more pls

-love from yang

ps. nice weiss by the way, weiss loves it and she wants to know where you get your ideas for lemons so she can do some with rYANG IM GOING TO KILL YOU

* * *

Yang's screaming could be heard as Weiss chased her down the halls of Beacon.

So, in effect, started a typical Beacon afternoon.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter...SURPRISE! Weiss Reacts to Super Smash Bros! Ahah! Caught you off guard there, didn't I?!**

**Another huge thanks to ****The Draigg****, by the way- go read his work, it's far better than mine- for letting us review his work and if you're reading this, you're awesome!  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, comments, suggestions, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	30. Weiss Reacts to Super Smash Bros!

**Weiss Reacts to Super Smash Bros!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, we're finally going to cover this game that we REALLY should've covered a long time ago- being that I've been playing Brawl RIGHT around since release day and got SSB4 ALSO just as it was released in Europe or around about the same time. Also, be warned of various gripings I might have and theories that may have to do with relatively unknown characters and Ridley.**

**With that in mind, let's get this chapter started!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there'd be a RWBY fighting game already (I'm aware they're working on a game, but I think it's an RPG).**

**Super Smash Bros belongs to HAL Laboratory, otherwise Isaac from Golden Sun and Ridley would be in.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Weeeeiiiiissss..." Ruby slumped her head over Weiss' shoulder as Weiss typed up an essay for schoolwork. "I'm booooooreeeeed!"

Weiss grumbled. "Ruby, can't you see I'm trying to get work done?"

Ruby pouted, staring into her girlfriend's eyes. "Weiss..."

"Q-quit your puppy dog eyes!" The heiress snapped. "I-it isn't going to work, m-moron!"

Ruby's eyes started tearing up. "W-Weiss..."  
"RUBY, STOP"

Her pout increased, starting to wobble. "Weeeeiss..."  
"..." Weiss closed her eyes, sighing irritably. She clicked save on her work- she was at least satisfied with its quality, even if it wasn't her best. "...you're l-lucky I was d-done with my work anyway, s-stupid."

"Yaaaay!" The reaper hugged her tightly. "I knew you'd come through!"

"Yeah, yeah." Weiss stood up, shoving her chair in. "What do you want to do then?"  
"Oh, wait..." Ruby thought carefully. Weiss stared at her, dumbfounded.

"YOU MEAN YOU DISTURBED ME AND DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN TO DO SOMETHING?!"

"H-hey!" Ruby jumped, shaking her head and flailing her hands about. "O-of course I had a plan!"

"I swear, _Ruby-_"

"Wait wait wait!" The reaper held her finger up. "Why don't we play with Yang's Wii U? I'm pretty sure she just got the new Super Smash Bros."

"The one with that boxer guy and Lucina in it?"

"How do you not know who _Little Mac_ is?!" Ruby stared at Weiss, shocked. "Punch-Out was my _childhood_!"

"You said that about Pokémon, Persona, Final Fantasy-"

Ruby waved her off. "ANYWAY! We must remedy this immediately!"

"I hardly know how to play the game."  
"Don't worry, Weiss, I'll teach you how!"

"...riiiight."

The reaper held up a fist proudly. "We're going to grab snacks and drinks and YOU'RE going to play with me!"

"Dear Oum help me." Weiss slapped her forehead with her palm. "Where's Yang? I want to be sure she's nowhere near here so we can play in peace for once in our lives."

"She's off in Vale with Blake." Ruby said, nodding.

"And Nora?"

"She's gone off with that transfer student..." The reaper nodded. "The one with the black hair and the shawl...I think her name was Iris or something? Aaaanyway, she's apparently working with Neptune to make that Tankery club a thing."

"Figures." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Of COURSE Nora would want to bring vehicles that make things blow up in. Won't be surprised if she attaches a railgun to her turret or something...moron..."

"Something tells me you know about this stuff."

"My father got involved in this Tankery nonsense the one time Beacon tried getting involved in it." The heiress sighed irritably. "To this day, he still wants to have a rematch with the Oarai Girls team and the combined Amazon Brigade-Four Horsemen team."

"Soooo...snacks and stuff?"  
"Right. Meet you back here in a minute."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Weiss walked into the second room of the dorm, dropping packs of cookies, vanilla sorbet and self-heating hot chocolate canisters onto the couch next to Ruby, who was busy setting up online multiplayer.

"Where'd you get the hot chocolate?!" Ruby yelped as she grabbed a can and examined it carefully. "I've been hunting for cans of these all over Vale!"  
"Apparently Cardin got them as a gift from that Rise he made friends with back when we met her back during Melanie's birthday." Weiss said, shrugging. "She said she wanted everyone to have some, so he decided to give us a couple."  
"Imagine how much those would go for, hot chocolate canisters as a gift from a pop idol..." Ruby mused to herself quietly. "It's pretty cool of her to give us some. We're not exactly close friends."

"Maybe Cardin is. Anyway!" The heiress looked over to the screen. "Online?"

"Of course! The best way to play it is online! Or 8-man, but we don't have eight people..." Ruby frowned. "Maybe next time."

"Right." Weiss looked over at the screen. "So, what mode are we playing?"

"With Friends. I think some of our friends might actually be on!" Ruby said cheerfully, logging on.

"Okay...so Ren's on, Jaune's on..." The reaper looked surprised. "Huh, I didn't know Miss Honda played this...Cinder, duh...Glynda?!"

"I'm not even surprised." Weiss said, shrugging.

"...wait...there's...who's Ushio?" Ruby blinked. "I don't think she knows an Ushio. We can play with her right now, too."  
"I don't know, I don't think she's-" Weiss began to warn Ruby, but this 'Ushio' had already invited them to a game.

"Huh?" Ruby tilted her head. "Okay...should we play with her?"

"...eh." The heiress shrugged. "Let's do it."

* * *

They went straight to character select. Apparently, 'Ushio' had two players on her side, because players 1 and 2 had already picked Robin and Lucina.

Weiss rubbed her chin, before turning to Ruby. "How do I pick a character? And how do I move?"  
"Um...give me. I'll even name you on here so we can tell who's who." Ruby showed her the controls before fiddling with them slightly. "...I really should've thought this through..."

"No, it's fine Ruby." Weiss sighed, before picking Marth.

"...what a typical generic blue swordsman..." The heiress muttered disdainfully.

"...you're crushing on Marth, aren't you."  
"What?! Of c-course not!" Weiss glared at her. "S-stupid!"

She muttered aside to herself. "I much prefer Lucina anyway...n-not that I LIKE her, o-or anything..."

"What was that, Weiss?" Ruby put her hand to her ear.

"Nothing. Just pick your stupid character already..."

Ruby decided to pick Little Mac, and 'Ushio' started the game, selecting Final Destination as their stage.

"...Final Destination?" Ruby shrugged. "Eh. Could be worse."

"Oh dear Oum." Weiss looked somewhat irritated. "I have a feeling I'm not going to like this."

"Just wait and see."

The game started. The other two players were labelled as 'Robin' and 'Lucina', while Weiss and Ruby were 'SCHNEE' and 'ROSE'.

'Robin' immediately dived towards Weiss, making her mash the controls frantically in an attempt to protect herself.

"RUBY! HELP!"  
"G-gah!" Ruby moved herself over to protect Weiss, as Little Mac threw a punch at Robin on screen, sending him flying. Weiss sighed irritably.

"T-this game is too fast-paced..."

"You'll get used to it eventually. Behind you!"

"W-wha-" Weiss was interrupted as she stared at herself being knocked out by 'Lucina's' sudden charged stab. She grumbled.

"S-stupid moron! I-I wasn't ready!"

Suddenly, 'Robin' had a chat bubble appear on his head, saying "NICE JOB DEAR." 'Lucina' apparently responded by saying "THANK YOU LOVE".

Ruby giggled. "They're roleplayers too? This is hilarious. I love this Ushio person!"

"...I already hate her..." The heiress muttered. "...uuuggghhh! HOW CAN LUCINA COUNTER ME WHAT IN DUST IS THIS!"

"...you have to time your attacks, Weiss-"  
"THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I'M ON ONE LIFE ALREADY! OUT OF FIVE!"

"Um..." Ruby casually knocked out Robin again. "...it's not exactly hard...they're playing on your level, basically."  
"Come on!" Weiss snapped. "T-this is STUPID! A-and HOW DID ROBIN HEAL OFF OF ME?!"

"Nosferatu-"  
"T-that's not fair! Dammit, I'm out of the game!" Weiss grumbled and set her controller down forcefully, grumbling. "S-stupid game..."

'Robin' and 'Lucina' exchanged messages again; "HUG ME SEMPAI" and "I LOVE YOU" respectively.

Ruby giggled for a little, before staring at the screen with determination.

"Oh...it's on."

Ruby then proceeded to stomp 'Robin' and 'Lucina' by herself, barely taking any damage.

She rubbed Weiss' arm comfortingly, humming the victory fanfare quietly to herself.  
"Oh, don't worry, Weiss..." The reaper reassured her with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. "You'll do better next time."

"...fine..." The heiress said, crossing her arms and blushing. "B-but don't get the wrong idea, I-I think this game is stupid! I-I'm just playing it b-because y-you asked me to, y-you dunce..."

"I'm sure of that." Ruby giggled. "Let's play them one more time."

* * *

_Seconds later..._

"WHAT IS THIS STUPID STAGE" Weiss yelled angrily.

"W-WarioWare!" Ruby flinched away from Weiss.

"THEN WHY ARE THESE MORONS INVINCIBLE"

"Because they passed the minigame."

"YOU MEAN THERE'S A MINIGAME?!"

"It's WarioWare! What did you expect?"

The heiress glared as an invincible enlarged Robin and an metal Lucina wailed on her Marth once more. "T-this game is rigged..."

"Trust me, there's going to be more minigames." Ruby said reassuringly. "You'll win those."

"Hopefully...oh, oh, here's one!" Weiss said, somewhat hopeful to win this one. "...don't move? Pretty si-WHAT WHERE DID THAT LIGHTNING BOLT COME FROM"

She moved, losing the minigame. Weiss growled.

"S-stupid! T-this game is rigged!"  
"...that's weird, that usually doesn't happen..." Ruby rubbed her chin, confused.

"What kind of s-stupid antics are they using?!"

"It's just being really well timed."

"I can barely make sense of these controls, too!" The heiress snapped, mashing the controls. "I'm trying to use that stupid counter move Marth supposedly has but I keep slashing around like a moron! W-what is this?!"  
"Um...you need to press _down_ for that..." Ruby reminded her sheepishly.

"SERIOUSLY"

Not surprisingly, they lost this game.

* * *

Weiss seethed, furiously munching on a vanilla sorbet while reflecting on her loss.

Ruby just thought it was adorable, resisting the urge to coo to her.

"Awww...Weiss...don't get so down..."  
"I'm not. I-it's just t-that this stupid game is stupidly unfair." The heiress muttered.  
The reaper frowned. "Hm...maybe we could try just fighting basic AI. That would be more up your alley, right?"  
"I suppose." Weiss exhaled. "Fine, bring it. I'll use Mario this time- at least he doesn't seem incredibly complicated like Marth..."  
Ruby raised a finger to protest. "Marth's not that complicated-"  
"SHUSH YOU"

"Eeeep!" The reaper cringed away from Weiss. "Sowwy..."

"...damn your cuteness..." Weiss grumbled as she gave her a hug. "It's fine...I'm not angry at you..."

Ruby merely sighed happily being hugged. "So warm..."

Weiss finally relinquished her after several moments. "Okay, basic AI?"  
"On the most basic map. We'll do Battlefield. We'll even do Jigglypuff and Mario as the enemies. It'll be easy for you."  
"I suppose..." The heiress thought carefully. "...fine. Let's do it."

"Okay!" Ruby smiled. "Let's get ready to brawl!"

...

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE" Weiss yelled as Jigglypuff knocked her out with Rest, of all moves, sending her flying for the fourth time.

Ruby chuckled nervously. "Um...you kinda stood still...but how the AI managed that..."  
"You said these were _basic_ AI, Ruby!" Weiss said accusingly.

"They're level one!"

"T-they d-don't FEEL level one! What is this?!" The heiress was then slugged off the stage by Mario punching her off it, knocking her out of the game.

"COME ON!"

Ruby sighed, shaking her head. "Okay, let's try it again..."

They tried it with slightly weaker characters, over and over and over again, for the next fifteen minutes...until...

"FINALLY!" Weiss pumped her fist as King Dedede ("He's a PENGUIN king with a hammer! He HAS to be the most superior character in this game!"), her currently selected character, knocked out Jigglypuff. "I FINALLY got a stupid KO in this game!"

Ruby smiled, cheering for her.

"Nicely done!"  
"I have CONQUERED this game!" The heiress declared. "Soon...not even Yang will be able to-"  
"To what?" Yang had the fortune of walking in that precise moment, waving at them. Ruby nodded to her.

"We were just playing your Super Smash Bros. Hope you didn't mind."  
"Course not." The brawler shrugged, taking up a seat next to Ruby and a remote. "Whatcha doing?"

"Just teaching Weiss how to play."

"Indeed." Weiss nodded. "I have FINALLY found a game WORTHY of my respect! And with King Dedede, I shall FINALLY declare myself better at a game than you that ISN'T Civilization!"

Yang grinned at her. "_Really_ now, Weiss?"

"Huh?"

"Is that a challenge~?" She inquired teasingly, waving her remote.

Weiss folded her arms. "I suppose it is, Yang. I suppose it is."  
"Very well then. Final Destination, no items. I'd say Fox only, but I'll leave that one for Velvet." The brawler declared. "Let's go, then."  
"...suddenly, I'm not feeling too confident..." The heiress felt a sweatdrop roll down her temple. "But fine...let's go!"

* * *

_Seconds later..._

"...Meta Knight is so stupid." Weiss grumbled as the screen showed the aforementioned blue masked knight in a victory pose with King Dedede in the background.

"I mean, HOW?! HOW DOES HE RECOVER SO QUICKLY?!"

"Looks like your precious Penguin King wasn't so awesome after all." Yang said, giggling. "What's next?"

"T-two can play at that game!" Weiss declared. "Rematch!"

"It's on, Weissy~" Yang responded, grinning. "Meta Knight versus Meta Knight. You're on."  
"I happen to have learned a LOT from Ruby..." The heiress stated proudly. "...and I WILL beat you."  
"Keep dreaming. That's about as likely as Mami or Ridley joining the Smashers." Yang said, sighing. "No matter how many letters I send in..."

"Y-you..." Weiss glared at her. "I WILL BEAT YOU!"

_More seconds later..._

Weiss stared at the screen in dumb shock. She'd lost, having been killed four times by Yang. The last time was by herself, having accidentally flown off stage.

"...screw this, I'm done." The heiress slapped her remote onto the couch and stormed out. Ruby sighed and dropped hers.

"Weiss! Wait!"

"I-is she mad at me?" Yang inquired, somewhat serious for once.

"No...no, just the game. " The reaper stated. "...just wait for it..."  
"I HATE THIS GAME" Weiss' yell could be heard from the corridor. The reaper frowned. "I'll go after her. Do you wanna play after?"  
"Eh, sure." Yang shrugged, pulling out a bag of chips and opening it. "I'm open."

"Okay!" Ruby ran off, leaving Yang to muse as she attempted to pacify her rampant girlfriend.

Yang rubbed her chin, thinking to herself for a moment.

"...you know, another tournament amongst us wouldn't be a bad idea." The brawler declared. "...hm...I'll have to plan it slightly better, though. Definitely more chapters, too.

Hm."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Not my best work, but...eh. Next chapter, Nora Reacts to Tankery! I'm sure if you guessed who this 'Iris' actually is, you've already guessed part of what next chapter's inevitable climactic showdown is going to be. By the way, an Internet Weiss Plushie and a shout out from me next chapter if you figure out who they are! **

**Also, time for an awesome announcement.**

**Back in December, I contacted the Moczo siblings, writers of the Agents of Beacon series, for permission to do a chapter on their stories. Just this Sunday, they responded saying they'd love to be featured. So...Agents of Beacon is a-go! Thanks, guys! You're awesome!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, reviews, thoughts, comments and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	31. Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 1!

**Nora Reacts to Tankery!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, Tankery has arrived...for the second time. Mhm. Let's do this. Also, the cookie and Weiss plushie go to our good friend ****Resisting the Borg ****for guessing just who our mysterious visitor was. She is-*cut to image of Weiss cuddling a toy shark***

**-and that's why Weiss loves penguins. ANYWAY! So, let's get this chapter started before you get bored of my ranting!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise all of team RWBY would have cool bikes like Yang.**

**Girls und Panzer belongs to Studio Actas.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Student Council Room_

Neptune stood up, looking around the room and across the table. Nora, dressed in tight, dark green military uniform with various badges he was sure she'd made up, saluted him, while Sun looked around, confused. The chair between the pair had a white poncho, a strip of pink decorated with an elaborate pattern across the brim, slung on its back and a mug of hot chocolate sitting half-drunk. The rest of the seats were empty.

Neptune sighed. "Nora, I thought you said you recruited more people."  
"I did!" The berserker protested. "I got Aspasia to join, Miltiades...I THINK I might have gotten Velvet to join, if only so she can get a tank to kidnap Weiss with...oh, oh, and we got Pyrrha, too!"

Pyrrha walked in, waving at them. "Good morning, everyone."

Sun frowned. "Remind me, why can't guys drive tanks in Tankery again?"

"Because it's tradition, dammit." Neptune reminded him. "Also, it just wouldn't be Tankery."

"Figures." The Faunus shrugged, taking a bite out of a banana. "So, who're we missing..."

"We're missing Milly, Aspasia- Jaune's sister- and Velvet. Oh, and the new girl."

Nora stretched her fingers and exhaled deeply before turning to Neptune. "Can we start the meeting now? We can catch them up later. Yes, even the new girl."

"Right." The council member cleared his throat. "Pyrrha, please take a seat."

Waiting for a couple of moments, Neptune looked around, before taking out a clicker and pressing it, causing a board to descend from the ceiling.

"Almost twenty-odd years ago, our parents had the fortune of facing the Oarai Girls Sensha-do team in sacred combat upon these hallowed grounds of ours, when the Oarai girls found themselves taking an accidental detour in Vale Harbor." Neptune announced dramatically with a flourish towards the window, pausing for effect.

"Unfortunately, our parents lost as they were not as experienced in the sacred art of Tankery!"

"I remember mom talking about that!" Nora said fondly. "...she always wanted to have a rematch against them..."

"Now, the Oarai captain, Miho, is one of my personal idols...and, I'll admit, a crush of mine for a while." Neptune admitted sheepishly, earning a giggle from Nora and a chuckle from Sun. "Of course, when I saw the video my dad made of the fight between Beacon and their team, I'd always wanted to join a Tankery team. Even when I found it out was a girl's sport, I wanted to at least get involved in it!

And, when I saw that our council had permitted a Mecha Club, I decided to try and see if we could do Tankery too. Luckily, the president of the council has _graciously_ permitted it to happen, and so our first inaugural meeting as the Beacon Sensha-do Club will be tomorrow, in the Forest of Forever Fall!" Neptune announced proudly, cuing Nora's clapping.

Pyrrha held up a finger. "Wait, were our tanks not destroyed during the fight against Oarai Girls?"

"Ah." Neptune nodded. "Indeed. However, thanks to the efforts of our new member, a certain Miss Gunther- and a HEFTY injection of funds from parts unknown- we managed to buy some new tanks for the club."

"Miss Gunther?" Pyrrha raised an eyebrow, interested.

Sun shook his head, chuckling. "Neptune's being polite just because he has a cru-"  
"Ahem." Neptune cleared his throat loudly, cutting Sun off. "Anyway. The tanks are being stowed in the old hangar where Beacon's old fleet of Bullheads were kept."

Nora raised her hand. "Oh, oh, Neptune! Neptuuuune!"  
"Huh?"  
"Can I drive the big one?!"

"...sure. Any questions?"  
Pyrrha looked somewhat confused. "When you say Tankery..."  
"I mean with sim-ammunition and some stolen Blake tech." Neptune said, shrugging. "We'll have to twist the Tankery rules a bit, as obviously, acquiring some tanks from _that_ long ago is hard- only one tank of ours comes from before then, and we've made some modifications to that one."

We're REASONABLY certain they're safe and Aura will take care of the rest as for ammo and stuff.

Pyrrha nodded slowly. "I see."

'_...maybe, Nikos, we can impress Jaune-kun with our skills in this...and then I'll FINALLY get to ask him out without something happening.'_

Nora raised her fist, yelling.

"And I'll FINALLY get to shout out the one thing I've always wanted to!"

"Panzer vor?" Neptune said, excited.

"You BET!"

Sun chuckled. "You two are lucky I know a thing or two about fixing things up or even the poor girl you made upgrade all the tanks would fall over."

"Heh. We're not that bad." Neptune scoffed.

"Yeah! I've played enough World of Tanks and Grand Theft Auto to know how to pilot a tank!" Nora declared proudly.

None of them noticed the tiny button lens in the ceiling, marked with the initials 'B.B.', spying and taking in their every move.

* * *

_The next day, in the Forest of Forever Fall..._

Blake hid in a bush, spying on the Beacon Tankery club with Spiral-powered binoculars from afar.

"Tch...tank-loving filth..." The catgirl muttered under her breath. "...and they got _her_ and Sun to upgrade those things..."

"Why do you hate tanks so much?" Yang whispered. "Don't tell me it's because it's not _manly_ or something..."

"No, no, nothing like that." Blake reassured her. "But how DARE they betray me for TANKS?!

"Wait, wait." Weiss held up her palm. "Why do you hate tanks again?"

"They're glorified cannons on treads!" Blake yelled. "W-why would you prefer THOSE to giant badass robots that shoot DRILLS out of their arms?!"

"I'll thank you not to talk about tanks like that!" Ruby snapped, toying with a model Panzer IV and a figure of what looked to be the Mazinger Z. "Tanks are awesome!"  
"That's traitor talk!" The catgirl glared at her, but Yang suddenly pulled her and Ruby's heads down.

"S-shush! They're walking past!"

Just as she did so, Velvet and Pyrrha walked past the bush they were hiding in. Vivi turned and stared at Team RWBY, waving at them briefly before shrugging and turning back to tugging on Velvet's ears.

"And that's why you should ALWAYS use burlap sacks for kidnapping your love interests!" Velvet declared proudly, oblivious to the spying being done by team RWBY.

Pyrrha shook her head slowly. "I'm...not entirely sure that's how it should be done."  
Velvet looked shocked. "I-I don't quite understand what you mean! It ALWAYS works for yanderes!"  
"If I'm honest, I...just want Jaune to love me, but if he loves someone else...I-I can understand..."

"That's NOT the way to-"

They were interrupted, of course, by Nora blowing a hunting horn in their faces, deafening them temporarily and sending them both to the floor, covering their ears.

"NORA" Pyrrha yelled. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Tally-ho! Steady the buffs!" Nora announced proudly. "Aaaaaand LET LOOSE THE HOUNDS OF WAR!"

Velvet reeled from the horn blast, shaking her head. "Ow...both my ears..."

"Pipipipi pi..." Vivi rubbed her head with her stubby arms, shaking it.

Neptune rubbed his hands together. "Right, guys. Are we ready?"

Nora swept her hand across her military uniform, dusting it off. "The Queen of the Castle is ALWAYS ready!"

A muffled giggle could be heard off in the woods nearby. Pyrrha and Velvet ignored it.

"Well, Aspasia and Milly have already made their way to their tank, so..." Neptune took out a pair of keys and tossed them over to Velvet.

"I'm sure you don't need those, but Nora insisted."  
"It just wouldn't be right to hand over a vehicle without the usual tossing of the keys!" The berserker stated, crossing her arms. "It's just not cricket."

"What are these for?" The bunnygirl looked curious.

"Why, for _that_ tank." Sun approached them, pointing his thumb behind him. "Just finished polishing it and placing the Beacon logo on it, too."

Velvet and Pyrrha gazed upon their vehicle of war.

It was a Panzer IV tank, of the Ausf. H variant, replete with armoured skirts and the crossed axes of Beacon on each side, with a jet black paint job. The gun barrel seemed to be custom, but resembling a KwK 40 gun barrel. Velvet noted that the tank seemed to be slightly bulkier than expected- probably due to the 'upgrades' made to it.

"...so, how is this going to work?" Pyrrha inquired. "Do you not require a crew of at least three to five to operate a tank?"  
"Ah." Sun chuckled, rubbing the back of his head and wiping his sweat with a rag. "You see, my dear Pyrrha, I've made some modifications to keep it down to two people each. I had to get some Blake tech to do so, but it was worth it."

"You guys'll need to take good care of your tank." Neptune reminded them. "We have two mechanics, but PLEASE try not to blow your own tank up."

Velvet nodded. "No problem. Come on, Pyrrha."

"...you did a beautiful job." Pyrrha said appreciatively, clapping. "Nicely done, Sun."  
"Heh." The Faunus rubbed the back of his head again, blushing slightly. "It was nothing. You should thank Is-"

"Are we just gonna sit here and blabber?!" Nora snapped, stomping the ground impatiently. "I want to blow stuff up! Now! Nora need big boom booms!"

"Pipipipi pipip piii pipipipi." Vivi muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Excellent." Neptune nodded. "Shall we get started?"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"Right!" Neptune called into the radio linked to all the tanks. He was in a tall tower, overseeing the Forest and seeing the locations of all three tanks.

"Everyone, today is the first meeting of the Beacon Sensha-do Team! We'll be doing a short game of free-for-all, since we need two more girls for a 'wipe-out' match. I recognize that's not a legitimate mode, but we'll do with what we can.

"All of your vehicles will have chips to detect when you're hit, linked to the armor plates outside."

Sun called onto the radio. "If you're hit, your tank will stop and pop out a white flag. That means you're out of the game.

Any other questions?"

Velvet responded. "Wait, why do we have radars?"  
"Miss Gunther's idea." Neptune clarified. "She wanted to make sure that if we were fighting in places like this, we'd be able to have a general sense where the enemy was."

"...cheerful." Velvet sighed into the radio. "Anything else?"

"...oh, right. If you open your hatch any time during the game, your tank's disqualified." Neptune warned them. "If you need to see the enemy tanks, Sun installed a camera on each one linked to a feed inside- another thing we had to twist the rules for.

And yes, that means you, Nora."  
"B-but I want to yell out onto the open!"

"...fine, you can open it before we start, but shut it when you start moving."

"YAY!"

"Excellent." Pyrrha, who was driving the tank, looked to Velvet, the gunner. "You ready?"

"Mhm." Velvet gave her a thumbs up with Vivi. "Positive."

"You ready? Guys?" Neptune called across.

"Totally!" Milly's cheerful voice could be heard across the radio. "Let's do it!"

"We're ready." A voice, sounding quite similar to Minako's, announced. Pyrrha concluded she was probably the mysterious Miss Gunther who was behind the radars and co-upgraded the tanks.

"Excellent!" Neptune said, excited. "Now...and me and Nora have probably been waiting a while to say this...

PANZER VOR!"

"PANZER VOOOOR!" Nora roared across the radio, and by the sounds of it, into the open air.

Velvet tilted her head. "Panzer-"  
"It means move." Pyrrha began moving the Panzer IV carefully, checking the radar for any signs of Nora or Milly's tanks. The feed showed nothing but trees and clearings, as Velvet manned the main turret, muttering softly to Vivi.

"Do you think W-Weiss-sempai will love us when we tell her we do this?"  
"Pipipipipi." Vivi shrugged. "Pi."  
"I suppose it is a chance..."

"Pipipipi?"  
"Shush!" Pyrrha chided them. "I'm trying to concentrate on driving. I can't find Nora..."

"O-Okay." The bunnygirl nodded, pouting. Vivi rolled her eyes.

"Pipipipi."  
"This is NOT silly, Vivi." The spearmaiden stared at her. "This is completely serious. Tanks are serious business."

"W-wait!" Velvet held up her finger. "Shush. Do you hear that?"

"...crap. Turning the turret. I think someone's-" Suddenly, a blip appeared on the radar, directly behind them.

Pyrrha's eyes widened as she saw the feed from the cameras outside.

From behind them, what appeared to be a large, green tank with armoured skirts similar to the Panzer's rolled up. Its paint was dark green, and its gun barrel was mounted directly into of the slanted front plate, not on a rotating turret.

Pyrrha immediately turned the tank around and drove into the trees, dodging the shot fired. She could hear it crash into trees far behind her, as she looked to her companions.

"Crap! Ambush!"

"W-what do we do?!" Velvet looked to her friend. "Y-you're good at this sort of thing!"  
"...t-try and fire back!" The spearmaiden whirled the turret around, aiming straight at the incoming tank.

"Velvet, FIRE!"

"Got it!" The bunnygirl did indeed fire, sending a shell flying straight over it and leaving it to land harmlessly behind them.

Vivi facepalmed.

"Pipipi."

Velvet frowned. "T-this is my first time with one of these! N-now help me reload!"

Pyrrha frowned and accelerated forwards, hoping to get out of the range of the shot. Luckily, the other tank couldn't turn its gun towards her without turning itself, so they had a chance.

"That's it...eep!" The spearmaiden instinctively ducked as she heard a tank shell fly over her head.

"...we can turn around and fight them. We have the advantage." Velvet reminded her. "And it would impress Jaune-kun, wouldn't it?"  
"...ugh,...but it would be imprudent..." She responded, sighing. "But sure, turn around and fight."

Pyrrha did so, rotating the turret and moving it into position for Velvet to fire straight at the tank.  
"Los!"

"Got it!" Velvet fired the gun, but the shot still flew straight over the sleek body of the other tank. "Dammit!"

"Okay, okay, we can still win this!" Pyrrha lowered the turret. "Q-quickly, load another one!"

"I-I'm trying!" Velvet flailed her arms about, trying to find more shells. "DAMN IT!"

The enemy tank approached slowly, pointing itself at the Panzer IV, ready to fire again...

"FIRE!" The spearmaiden roared.  
"I got this!" Velvet announced and fired the main gun again.

This time, the shell hit dead on. The other tank was rendered out as Aspasia and Milly's disappointed sighs could be heard across the radios. Outside, the other tank began smoking and a white flag popped out.

"Pipipipi!" Vivi said, cheering.

"We got one! We got Milly!" Velvet pumped her fist excitedly. "We've got this!"

"Yes, yes we..." Pyrrha froze. "What in blazes..."

"Huh?" Velvet looked concerned.

"...I think we found Nora's tank." The spearmaiden tapped the camera feed.

Outside, an unknown tank of equal height and length to the Panzer IV approached. From appearances, its turret was also customised, but it was not one Velvet recognized. Its treads were protected by segmented armoured skirts, and the Beacon logo, as well as an insignia Pyrrha and Velvet did not recognize, were embossed on the side of the turret.

Nora's evil laughter could be heard across the comms.  
"How do you like OUR tank!? Panzer IV, meet the Edelweiss, otherwise to be known as the instrument by which I, Pancake Queen of Sloths, will RAIN DOWN TERROR UPON THE WEAK"

"Or, you know, just the Edelweiss." Her partner corrected her, giggling slightly. "Although that sounds...nice...I guess..."  
"DON'T QUESTION ME PEASANT I WILL DROWN YOU IN CUDDLES IF YOU DO"

"Eep!"

Velvet stared at the Edelweiss, blinking.

"Pyrrha, got a plan?"  
"Engage it straight on." The spearmaiden stated calmly. "We'll win."

"Ohohoh..." Nora said, giggling insanely. "You won't win...now...PANZER VOR!"

The Edelweiss began moving towards Pyrrha's tank, aiming the turret at them.

Pyrrha and Velvet readied themselves to fight Nora and her partner, with Vivi hanging on tightly to Velvet's bunny-sized ears.

"Pipipipi." Vivi said.

"You're right." Pyrrha nodded. "This might sound cliché...but I won't lose. I can't lose! For JAUNE-KUN!"  
"FOR WEISS-SEMPAI!" Velvet yelled proudly.

Of course, none of them noticed the small blips on the radar edge, slowly approaching the fight from afar.

Three blips. Gradually getting stronger and nearer.

* * *

**END?**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Valkyria Chronicles belongs to Sega.**

**Advance Wars belongs to Nintendo.**

**A/N: It has only just begun. Also, I'm pretty sure who 'Iris' is damn obvious by now. Seriously, I said everything but her actual name. Also, Milly and Aspasia used the Green Earth tank from the GBA Advance Wars games.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, criticisms, thoughts, comments and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	32. Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!

**Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, before we begin, it has been brought to my attention that I bent the rules quite a damn bit for Tankery. I duly apologise to anyone irritated by this perversion of the sacred art. You may blame Nora for it. As you may have realised by now, Nora isn't exactly the best follower of rules ever.**

**ANYWAY, eventually we'll have a classical rules battle of Tankery, but for now, sit back and relax!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Nora would have a railgun at some point.**

**Girls und Panzer belong to Studio Actas.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"PANZER VOR!" Nora roared over the radio, as the Panzer IV met the Edelweiss in battle. "FIRE!"

"FIRE!" Pyrrha commanded, and Velvet did so.

At the same time, the Edelweiss and Panzer fired a shell at each other. The Edelweiss' shot went wide, cracking a pair of trees behind them and downing said trees, and the Panzer IV's shell simply whistled past, doing nothing more than take out the frontal camera of the tank by glancing it.

"...should we run, Pyrrha?"

"Pipipipi?"  
"I think we should."

Pyrrha turned the tank quickly, managing to dodge a shot from their opposing tank, and drove the tank into the forest.

She cringed as she heard a shell fly past the turret, cracking a tree next to her and taking out the camera in front of the tank, as well as behind it.

When she was sure she'd driven the tank to a safe place, she turned to Velvet.

"Is the Edelweiss even a REAL tank?"  
"No," Velvet shook her head quickly, tapping her fingers on the side of the tank. "I think the only reason they let them have it is because Elf likes the tank and there IS no Tankery league to tell them what to do. I didn't even KNOW she and Sun REBUILT it!"  
"Damn it." The spearmaiden slapped the dashboard as the camera feed cut out. "And no cameras, too. Pass me the binoculars."

Velvet did so and Pyrrha cautiously climbed out and opened the hatch, looking around to search for the Edelweiss.

The blue tank was nowhere to be seen, although its engine could be heard rumbling nearby. Pyrrha ducked back in, shutting the hatch over her.

"Thank Oum, we're hidden. That gun of theirs is huge..."

"Almost like...the Tiger..." The bunnygirl rubbed her chin carefully, before snapping her fingers. "That's it!"  
"What?"  
"In the anime, Miho's team beat Maho's Tiger by going behind it and blowing out its rear at point blank."

Velvet recounted. "The Edelweiss is fast, but we've got better handling in the woods."

"So?"  
"We just have to outmanoeuvre them to make sure we can shoot them without being blown up!" Velvet concluded. "Get behind them, win the game. We've already taken out Milly and Aspasia, we just need to beat Nora and her friend!"

"Point taken. " Pyrrha said, smiling. "Let's go."  
"And then we can resolve your issues with love!"  
"Resolving them won't involve kidnapping. It didn't work the first time."  
"IT ALWAYS WORKS DON'T QUESTION ME"

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the Edelweiss..._

Nora climbed back down into her tank, putting away her binoculars. She sighed.

"They're boring, aren't they?" She asked her driver, who was examining the radar curiously. "It's just not cricket to hide like this. Right?

"Not...cricket?" The driver turned to her, adjusting her elaborate poncho slightly and brushing her dark hair out of her dark purple eyes.

"I heard it on a DustTube video! It sounded cool so I said it!"

Isara Gunther, engineering prodigy, recent transfer student, and current conscript into the Beacon Sensha-do Club, could only nod and smile.

Being new to Beacon, she was still new to Nora's brand of insanity. This was to change very soon.

Nora exhaled. "Anyway...where are they so they may be shown the glory of the Pancake Queen?"

"They're nearby..." Isara clarified, sighing. "But there's a weird reading on the radar."

"Hm?"  
"There seems to be three extra signatures coming onto our ground. I don't think they're tanks- they're moving too quickly. I could be wrong, of course."

"...oh, dear..." Nora sighed theatrically. "Very well, we'll deal with the Panzer first and then we'll show whoever these newcomers are exactly WHAT it means to challenge the Queen of the Castle!"

Isara scratched her head. "...erm...okaaaay then."

"ARE YOU CHALLENGING MY QUEENHOOD, COMRADE?!"

"N-no!" The engineer shrugged, trying to suppress a giggle. "Your wish is my command!"

"EXCELLENT"

_Back in the Panzer..._

"Radar?" Pyrrha asked her partner, who shook her head sadly.

"Shot." Velvet said, sighing. "That got damaged when we smashed into a tree earlier to get away from Milly's tank."

"So we're blind except for visual confirmation. That simplifies things."

"Pipipipi." Vivi suggested, licking a vanilla sorbet. "Pipipipipi. Pipipi. Piiii pipipi."

"True, true, that could work..." The bunnygirl nodded. "They're as blind as we are. We shot out their cameras."

"Point taken." The spearmaiden nodded, exhaling and flexing her fingers. "Okay, okay. Well.

You ready?"  
"Totally." The bunnygirl nodded back, smiling assuredly.

With that, the Panzer IV began ambling forward, Velvet making sure to poke her head out of the hatch every so often to spot for the Edelweiss amidst the Forest's bright colors.

Eventually, the bunnygirl and Vivi spotted a hint of blue amidst the warm reds and browns, to the left of the Panzer, seemingly unaware of their presence. Its engine was even off, too.

With a squeak, Velvet lowered the hatch quickly and ducked back down, nodding to Pyrrha.

"They're to our left. Turn around and start firing."

"Gotcha!" Pyrrha prepared to turn, before the radio burst to life with Nora and her partner speaking.

"-...Nora, these signatures are _not_ tanks. They're moving onto us far too quickly!""

"Wait, what? Then that's..." Nora paused for a moment, before beginning to giggle insanely, realising what was going on.. "...ohohooh...Blaaaake. Of course. It's ALWAYS Blake."  
"Huh?" Pyrrha shook her head and looked to Velvet. "What's going on? Velvet? Do you know?"  
"I haven't a clue." Velvet shrugged, looking through a script labelled 'Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2'. "It doesn't say a thing in here! Dammit, Elf!"

"Wait, wait, who's Blake?" Nora's partner spoke again.

"To put it lightly, Iris-"  
"Isara."

"-she's a boring killjoy who wants to blow tanks up with giant robots because she thinks it's manly." The berserker sighed sadly. "It was a shame. She could have been my co-queen. She'd even have free pancakes for the rest of her life!"

"Hey, guys?" Neptune's voice suddenly joined the radio conversation. "We just detected-"  
"Yeah, we saw." Isara responded. "Blake, right?"  
"Worse than that. Three giant robots."

"Wait, wait, _WHAT?!_" She responded, half-excited and half-shocked. "Giant _ROBOTS?_!"  
"Welcome to Beacon!" Nora said cheerily, followed by what was presumed to be glomping of the new girl and a slight scuffle.

"Yeah." Sun's sigh could be heard in the background as a crackling noise. "We knew Blake might do this, so I installed some stuff in the tanks based on what Blake uses."

"What? You mean these tanks can-"  
"Fight against robots?" Pyrrha interrupted the engineer, entering the conversation. "Sorry, but we need to know if you upgraded the Panzer IV to fight."  
"We upgraded everything to. Just press the big red button on your dashboards." Sun explained. "It was Nora's idea."  
Nora laughed smugly. "Hehehehe...and you people say I can't plan ahead..."

"Milly and Aspasia should join you soon in a spare tank." Neptune said, reassuring the remaining tank crews. "Get ready to fight. The game's over until we take care of the Mecha Club."

"I can't believe there's a Mecha Club too..." Isara said to herself, awed.

Nora cleared her throat. "Panzer team, where are you?"  
"Right next to you, actually." Velvet responded.

"WHAT?!"

"That doesn't matter." Pyrrha cut her off. "We need to focus on Blake right-"

"ALRIGHT!"

Suddenly, Blake's voice filled the sky above.

* * *

Pyrrha and Nora climbed out of their tank hatches to see the Gurren Lagann, Shinkiro and Nirvash typeZERO flying in the sky above them, with Blake standing on the head of the former, her Team Antic cape floating in the wind, her triangular shades shining in the sun, with her arms crossed.

"It's time for you to face the truth! There can be only ONE manly sport in this school, and it will be MECHA PILOTING!"

"Well," Weiss corrected her. "Actually there's more room for-"  
"Quiet! I'm trying to use a heroic speech here!"

Nora merely gave a hearty laugh in response. "And you think your tank on legs is going beat the might of our _Kampfwagen?_"

"A-a mecha is NOT a tank on legs! I-T-they're the manifestation of sheer manliness on-"

"Then let's prove that, hm?"

Suddenly, the Shinkiro was downed by a shot to its flight systems, sending it into a spiral with smoke coming from its back.

"Dammit!" Ren yelled. "I'm badly damaged! I'm falling back!"

Nora and Pyrrha turned to see a khaki-painted Tiger I, with an 8.8 cm KwK 36 gun-still smoking-, two MG 34 machine guns and Miltiades looking out of the hatch, waving at them as the turret rotated towards the Gurren Lagann.

"Good shot, Aspasia!" Milly called down into the tank. "Guess that makes up for us failing so early, hm?"

Blake adjusted her shades, resuming her pose.

"So you took one of us out. We'll still beat you easily with two." The catgirl boasted, scoffing. "Because...just who the hell-"

"No, Blake, just who the hell do you think _I_ am?!" Nora interrupted her yell with her own, pointing at the Nirvash with a grin.

"Isara...FIRE!"  
"Yes, ma'am!"

Before Weiss and Ruby could react, a shot smashed into the Nirvash's torso dead center and tore straight into it before it could shield itself, damaging it critically and sending it into the jungle, smoking. Blake's cocky expression somewhat faded, even if just for a second.

Yang cried out. "No! RUBES!"

In the distance, Ruby could be heard responding with a hasty "I'm okay!". Weiss' frustrated cry followed, followed by ranting they did not care to listen to.

"Tch." Blake scoffed, jumping back into the Gurren Lagann with a backflip. "I can take you three. I'm too MANLY TO FAIL! O-ElF-SAMA HIMSELF HAS PROVIDED THIS!"

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"

Nora turned to Pyrrha and Miltiades, smirking mischievously.

"Girls, you know what to do. " Whipping out a pair of shades, she put them on, before pointing at the Gurren Lagann again.

"All guns on the Gurren Lagann!"

Pyrrha smiled lightly at her teammate. "Yes."

Neptune could be heard squeeing happily into the radio.

"Badass tanks versus badass mecha...my dream is complete..." He sighed happily.

The Gurren Lagann pointed its hand at the Edelweiss, a drill forming around it. Nora didn't flinch, despite Pyrrha's increasing worry.

"PANZER-" Nora began to yell, before-

"GIGA DRILL RANGED STRIKE!" Blake yelled, before blasting the drill at the tank.

Nora merely smiled, taking out a radio. "Neptune, permission to abandon Club rules?"  
"Permission granted!"

"Isara. Hit the big red button, please." The berserker requested sweetly, a smug smile on her face.  
"You sure? I didn't install this and I'm pretty sure the red one is-

"JUST HIT IT BEFORE WE GET BLOWN UP"

It was indeed hit.

As the drill reached within a fine inch of the tank, it was suddenly stopped by a luminescent, translucent green field, spiralling around the drill itself and rotating against it before the drill dissipated into its constituent Spiral Energy.

"WHAT?!" Blake stared at the spectacle, shocked.

"Spiral Shielding Field." Nora clarified, laughing maniacally. "We saw this coming, so we stole your tech.

Now, if you'll excuse me...PANZER VOR!"

At that exact moment, the Edelweiss, Tiger I and Panzer IV fired their guns at the Gurren Lagann.

Mere moments later, the shells collided in mid-air, splattering the tanks in debris and producing a vast explosion as the Gurren Lagann flew above it.

"Going to take more than that to beat me!"

Nora rubbed her hands together, before clambering back into the Edelweiss.

"Finally. Some _FUN!_"

Pyrrha lowered herself back into the tank. "Okay, Velvet, let's go! I'll try to find a position to flank Blake and Yang from."

"Got it!" Velvet saluted her, with Vivi imitating her salute on her shoulder.

With that, the Panzer began wheeling along, making use of the tree cover to protect itself. Pyrrha could hear the guns of the Edelweiss and Tiger firing, followed by a dull 'thunk' here and there signifying the landing of drills into the ground.

Nora's voice raised the radio to life. "Okay, guys, what's the game plan?"  
"If the stats are right, the Gurren Lagann has the advantage." Neptune clarified, the crackling sounds of rustling paper being heard. "The Edelweiss and Tiger I are outfitted with 100mm frontal armor and 80mm to the sides and back, while the Gurren Lagann has at least twice that and the Panzer half.

However, the Edelweiss was outfitted with armor-piercing shells for exactly this occasion, and the Tiger's gun is powerful enough to penetrate it."  
Sun sighed irritably in the background behind Neptune. "Still disappointed he didn't let us bring out the _big_ one..."

"I suggest using the Panzer IV as support and the Edelweiss be the tank to try and engage the Lagann directly. The Tiger's too slow and the Panzer's too weak. Anything else?"  
"How long will the Spiral Shields hold out?"

"Well, they're powered off of the Energy Fillers Blake used for the Shinkiro." Sun clarified. "I'd say they'll hold out for about two, three hits before being useless."

"Excellent." Nora stated. "Let's go, girls!"

Milly chuckled. "We'll get to it."

Velvet interjected hastily. "W-wait, hang on. We don't have a plan!"  
"I do." Nora said, still quietly giggling. "And it goes something like this..."

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the Gurren Lagann..._

Blake stayed in the air, tracking the movements of the three tanks through the forest carefully.

She sighed, shaking her head.

"Stay still, heretics..." The catgirl muttered quietly to herself. "Yes, stay still."  
Yang held up a finger. "Erm, Blake, you might be treating this mecha versus tanks thing a _little_ too seriously..."

"I-I'm not! Now where are they so I may show them the light of the truth and befriend them Nanoha-style?!"

Suddenly, a shot rang out throughout the forest, and Ganmen and pilot alike turned to the source, where a plume of smoke was rising. Blake smirked.

"Well, they missed. Yang?"  
"Got it!" The brawler manoeuvred towards the source of smoke, gliding towards it. Blake peered at the ground, trying to see through the smoke, before...

"Huh?" Blake scratched her head. "There's nothing here."

"NOW!"

"Wha-" Yang barely had time to speak before she moved the controls to dodge a shot from behind. Blake turned around to see that the Tiger I was aiming at her mecha, preparing to fire again.

"Quickly! Hit it!"

The Gurren Lagann spawned a massive drill around its hand, and within the blink of an eye shoved it into the barrel of the Tiger, splitting it in two and damaging the tank critically.

"NO!" Miltiades yelled, as her tank stopped working and a white flag sprung up over the turret.

"One down, two to go." Blake declared, before two tank shells from both directions tore into the Bullhead wings the Gurren Lagann had bolted to itself for flight, sending the Ganmen crashing into the ground.

"ARGH!" The catgirl yelled, shaking her head. "Yang! Are you alright?"  
"A bit shaken..." The brawler shook her head, brushing her hair down. "But I'll live."

"Not so fun being on the other side of it, is it, dear Blake?" Nora said, gloating, as the Edelweiss and Panzer IV advanced upon it.

"We tricked you with that neat smoke shell Isara here invented. Pretty handy and low-tech."

"Dammit...beaten by a cheap smokescreen..." Blake muttered, before clenching her fists. "...but I'm not going to give up!

Let's DO THIS!"

The Gurren Lagann pulled itself from the ground, spawning two drills from each hand as the tanks circled around it, hailing machinegun fire and tank shells on it, staggering and stuttering the mecha.

The catgirl clenched the controls tightly. "If that's how it's going to be...then...

GIGA! DRILL! MAXIMUM!"

Suddenly, the Gurren Lagann spawned drills from ports all over its body as Blake's roar echoed, stabbing straight past the Spiral Shields and jamming themselves into the armor of each tank.

Nora scoffed. "It's not over yet! FIRE AT THE NECK! Even if we're too damaged to do anything else, we'll still win!"

"YANG!" Blake clenched her controls tightly, green energy surrounding her hands.

"UNDERSTOOD!"

The girls yelled in unison. "LET'S...FINISH...THIS! SPIRAL FINAL BIG BANG!"  
"Understood!" Pyrrha turned to Velvet. "FIRE!"

Two shells flew into the air at the Gurren Lagann just as the Ganmen was enveloped in a flash of green light-

* * *

Nora awoke, shaking her head and exhaling.

"Ugh...what happened? Pyrrha?" She called into the radio. "Miltiades? Aspasia? Velvet? Isara?!"

"Present..." The engineer raised her hand, moaning slightly as she rubbed her head. "I bumped my head into the dashboard...ow..."

"Are we disabled? Is the Gurren Lagann down?"

"Okay, okay, we're awake." Pyrrha called over the radio. "...and we have good news and bad news."

"Tell us the bad news first! Did we win?! Did we win?!"

"All of our tanks are disabled."

"DAMMIT!"

"The good news, however, is that so is the Gurren Lagann."

"Huh?" The berserker looked confused, before climbing up the hatch to see the heavy damage sustained to both the Edelweiss and Panzer IV- the Edelweiss' armor was gone or cracked and the barrel somewhat bent, while the Panzer fared worse, with the treads shattered and the armor almost all destroyed.

The Gurren Lagann laid in the middle, however, fallen and smoking, with Blake huddled in the middle and Yang hugging her comfortingly.

"H-how did my manliness lose again..."

"Don't worry." Yang cooed quietly. "You'll get them next time."

Nora had only one thing to say. She raised her hands and began dancing atop her tank triumphantly.

"I'm the Queen of the Castle! I'm the Queen of the Castle!"

"Manlinesss..." Blake muttered to herself repeatedly, feeling defeat for the first time.

Of course, the Tankery club had to be suspended for a week pending repairs.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Valkyria Chronicles belongs to SEGA. (Isara and the Edelweiss originate from that game).**

**A/N: Well, there ends that arc.**

**Next chapter, Ruby Reacts to Omega Ruby!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**

**oh wait stinger**

* * *

_Old Repurposed Hangar_

Neptune sighed and paced the floor, watching Sun and Isara repair the Tiger I and looking at the bill the Student Council had given him.

"F-five hundred Lien in repairs..." The boy shook his head. "Dammit, Blake."

The first day of Beacon's Tankery club and most of the tanks were already out of action.

Well, all things considered, it could've been worse.

Suddenly, however, Neptune's phone rang.

"Huh?" He looked confused and fished it out of his pocket, recognizing the contact as the Beacon office.

"Hello?"  
"Mister Vasilias," the automated voice he'd associated with the operator of the switchboard in the office stated. "You have a call from someone. Switching to outside caller now."

Moments later, a woman, sounding somewhere in the region of in her late 20s to 30s picked up the phone.

"Hello? My name is Miho Nishizumi. I called to inquire about the Beacon Tankery team.

I hear you are the manager of the club, Vasilias-san. I am very interested to see where and how your team will take the art of Sensha-do.

With that in mind, I would like to arrange a meeting."

* * *

**END**


	33. Ruby Reacts to Omega Ruby!

**Ruby Reacts to Omega Ruby!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, I'd like to announce that we are, once again, covering ****Dagger of Faith's ****The Shadow of Fire- this time, we'll be catching up from chapters 31-45! Also, a tiny little thing about the fact that tomorrow is the anniversary of Weiss Reacts' first chapter! That's right, it's one year to the day this first showed up on the archive- isn't that just weird?**

**Anyway, let's get this chapter out of the way before you get tired of my ranting.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Ruby would have Grimm for pets.**

**Pokémon belongs to Nintendo.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Is it here yet?"

"No, Rubes."

"Is it here yet?"  
"_No_, Rubes."  
"Is it h-"  
Weiss sighed irritably, putting down her mug of hot chocolate forcefully. "Your sister just said it wasn't here yet, you dunce!"

Ruby squeaked, hiding behind a chair in surprise at Weiss' sharp tone. "Sorry!"

"Ugh..." The heiress shook her head. "You're so childish sometimes, you know?"  
"I'm just excited!" Ruby responded defensively. "It's, like, the remakes of Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire! I grew up on those!"

"Judging by the apparent tendency towards puns we have around here, I'm guessing you grew up playing Ruby?"

"I think you're the only one apart from Blake who didn't grow up playing those at least once." Yang said, scoffing.

"Nah," Blake leaned down from her bunk, reading up on how to counter tanks more efficiently. "You would not BELIEVE how much of that I played. Which, granted, wasn't a lot, being that it was the White Fang, but eh."  
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Still not over losing to the Tankery Club?"  
"I should have _WON_, dammit!" Blake snapped, indeed still sore about the loss. "If it wasn't for Isara _cheating_ with that stupid smokescreen shell and the rest of them taking you guys out before we started, not to mention Nora and Sun _stealing_ my designs..."

"In all fairness, you did try to take on a bunch of WWII era tanks- with one exception." Yang said, shrugging. "You were going to lose as per the law of underdogs."

"That's it!" The catgirl snapped her fingers. "All I need to do is invoke that law in my favour!"

"...I don't think that's exactly _manly_, Blake." Ruby pointed out helpfully, but it was too late. Blake had already left the room, laughing maniacally.

The brawler rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to get Alexander and Andreas to come in to give her an intervention on manly things. She's taking it a _little_ too far."  
Weiss gave her a sarcastic glare. "You _think_?"

Soon, someone knocked on their door. Ruby perked up and rushed to it, opening it quickly.

"Who is it?!"

"Uh..." Cardin waved at her slowly. "The front office told me to give this to you. Said you might be expec-"

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Ruby squeed happily and hugged Cardin tightly before taking the box.

"Eheheh..." The warrior rubbed the back of his head, chuckling. "No problem. See ya around."

As he shut the door, the reaper happily unwrapped her package.

"It's finally here..." Ruby raised the Pokémon Omega Ruby box above her head, giggling with excitement.

"Oh boy." Yang chuckled. "I wonder what's going to happen this time."

"This will probably be stupid. And adorable."

"If only you would play it..." Yang mused wistfully, chuckling.

"What, because you'd laugh at how unbalanced the game is and how unfair it is on me?"  
"Weiss, only you, of all people, would _fail_ at playing Pokémon." The brawler remarked.

"S-shut up!"

Ruby, meanwhile, excitedly grabbed her 3DS and booted it up, waiting with unhidden glee.

"This is going to be _great_."

* * *

"The intro...ohoho!" Ruby laughed. "Nicely done, Nintendo."

"That was brilliant, the fake-out reference to the old intro..." Yang sighed. "Those were the good old days..."

"How could people hate the good old Ruby and Sapphire anyway?" Ruby mused. "Those were perfect!"

"Mhm." Weiss listened to the discussion.

"I love the graphics, too." Ruby began gushing about the game happily. "I mean, it's all adorably 3D now and awesome and stuff but it STILL looks like Ruby and Sapphire and-"

"Okay, right," Weiss interrupted her quickly. "Which starter will you pick? I'm going to tell you now, Torchic is most adorable because it resembles a penguin the most, therefore it MUST be the best one."  
"Mudkip!"

"...what." The heiress gave her a deadpan look.

"What?" The reaper looked around confusedly. "I liked Mudkips before that stupid meme."

"B-but Mudkip is not a superior bird!" Weiss complained. "And from a logical point of view-"

"She should pick Mudkip because he curbstomps just about every single Gym with ease." Yang pointed out. "Also because Swampert is best bro."  
"That settles it! Mudkip, I choose you!" Ruby declared, making her selection.

...

"Hmph. Torchic would've easily beaten that Treecko." Weiss huffed, crossing her arms.

"Let it go, Weiss, that was ten minutes ago." Yang said, chuckling. "Besides, he's not even a penguin."

"HE'S AN ADORABLE BIRD."

"We still beat it!" Ruby responded. "And WHAT IN THE NAME OF OUM IS THIS A LEVEL 16 TAILOW WHEN HALF MY TEAM ARE LEVEL 7"

"It's that new function in the game." Yang stated. "You know, the one where if you capture enough of one Pokémon, you get a chance of encountering higher-level versions in rustling grass with unique moves and better stats?"

"Why didn't I get that when I played Platinum..." Weiss muttered.

"And it has Steel Wing?!" Ruby cried, shocked, as it began knocking her weaker Pokémon out with ease.

"Um...um..."

"Q-quickly, Rubes!" Yang called out. "Do something!"

Frantically, the reaper fumbled around in her bag and threw a Pokéball at it before...

Weiss stared at the screen, dumbfounded.

"You are _not_ serious. Yang, did you see that?"  
"I saw that, alright." Yang was staring at the screen. "That...wasn't one of those critical captures where you have a chance of capturing it in one shake, right, Rubes?"  
"No, that wasn't..."

In front of her lay a captured Tailow, almost twice her party's level, captured at full health with Steel Wing, right before the Rock Gym, too.

Weiss sighed.

"Of _course_ she gets lucky." The heiress shook her head, exhaling deeply. "Games hate me."

"Or you're just bad~" The brawler responded teasingly.

"S-shut up, you imbecile!" Weiss snapped, before crossing her arms and turning away, blushing.

"T-the games a-are just hard...s-stupid..."

Ruby smiled at her reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Weiss. You'll get better at them eventually."

"And then I-I'll prove to Yang I can BEAT her at any game, not just Civilization..."

Yang smirked. "Good luck with that."

...

"Yaaay!" Ruby cheered. "I beat Roxanne!"

"Spamming Steel Wing would help." Weiss grumbled irritably.  
"Jelly, Weiss?"

"Silence! I'll have you eliminated for treason, Y-Yang!"

"And now, ADVENTUUUURE!" The reaper declared happily. "Weeeee!"

Indeed, adventure was had! Many things happened!

"...okay, that was hardly fair." Weiss frowned. "It wasn't as if Brawly was going to put up a fight with that overpowered Tailow of yours, not to mention the _level 20 Poochyena with Ice Fang._"

"I call him Zwei!"

"Arf!" The actual dog himself barked happily, nuzzling Ruby's leg.

"Remind me to take him out on a walk later, Ruby."

"Hah." The reaper chuckled. "A bunch of Grunts are lining up outside aaaand...ohoho, I feel SO sorry for you, Courtney."

"Okay, that's just overkill." Weiss complained as Ruby's Mudkip proceeded to curbstomp her team, exactly as she had already curbstomped the others.

"That's hardly fair! This game is SO much easier than the older ones!" The heiress cried. "I BET you I could easily win this."

"Tell me that when you don't screw up Super Smash Bros~" Yang reminded her, giggling.

"M-must you remind me of ALL my failures?!"

"Do you want an alphabetical or chronological list?"

* * *

"Wow..." Ruby nodded slowly. "...Mauville really changed, huh?"

"I recall the days when it wasn't a giant mall." Yang nodded. "Not that I don't approve."

"Why does this remind me of the Vale Shopping Center?" Weiss rubbed her chin, thinking.

"Maybe because it's pretty similar?" The brawler pointed out helpfully, before they walked into the center square and into Wally leaving it.

"Apparently Wally's supposed to be more badass this time around." Yang recounted. "I mean, I wouldn't be surprised- everyone loved the guy."  
"I wonder when that happens? Anyway, let's just beat him, yes?"

...

"...well, he did put up a fight." Ruby clapped slowly. "Both Wally and Wattson. I'm guessing we go on that New Mauville quest- oh wait, wait, what? We're going straight to Flannery? Okay..."

"I think they moved that quest later in the game. I'm actually pretty surprised at how easy you beat them both." Yang stated, chuckling. "I was sure it wasn't _that_ easy."

"No, Ruby's just the luckiest girl alive." Weiss remarked, sighing. "Seriously, getting a level 16 and 20 before the second Gym..."

_Minutes later..._

"Okaaay...well, onward to the-wait, wait, wait." Ruby paused. "Awww come on! Really? I have to fight Team Magma before I get to heal up?"

"I think they accounted for your super luck, Ruby." Weiss stated. "It doesn't help your team's collectively under half health, too."  
"Okay..." The reaper sighed, resigned to her fate. "Looks like I'll be sent all the way back to Mauville, too..."

She engaged the first Grunt in battle, shaking her head in defeat.

...

Weiss looked irritated. She glared at Ruby.

"Okay, _how _did you do that?!"  
"Do what?"  
"Get a crit almost EVERY attack and lose only one Pokémon to their team?!"

Yang giggled. "She'd be a good Nuzlocker, considering the amount of stupid luck she got just now."  
Ruby laughed. "Give me some credit, Weiss. I have _some_ skill."

"N-nobody gets this lucky!" Weiss cried. "Seriously?!"

"No, correction, Weiss, _you_ don't get that lucky." Yang grinned, clearly enjoying this.

"L-let's see you try better!"  
"As a matter of fact, I already have." The brawler swept her hair aside. "I've already finished the game."

"...y-you..." The heiress exhaled, conceding the victory to Yang again. "...w-why must you have a counter to everything I say?"  
"Because I'm Yang, I'm the one the fans came to see- okay, maybe not- and I'm awesome and you love me."

"...I can question all of those except the 'Yang' part."  
"I am WOUDNED by your lack of confidence in me!" Yang clutched her chest melodramatically, dramatically gasping.

"First, let's get this nice, convenient Wynaut egg from the springs, and then to beating Flannery!" The reaper announced.

...

"...wow." Ruby laughed, clutching her belly. "I know she was adorkable in the originals, but that takes the cake."  
"She looks just like Weiss trying to be serious."

"I don't need to _try_, Yang." Weiss grumbled. "Not like you, anyway. You don't seem to take anything seriously."  
"No, just not you~"

"As much as I'd like to spare her, she MUST get absolutely destroyed in my quest for the badges." Ruby sighed sadly. "At least she will go with some dignity, just as soon as I get around these stupid spring floor things."  
"Oh, Gym Puzzles." Yang sighed, chuckling. "Good luck with this one, too."

"Ah, well, just means more people for Brokip, Zwei and Tailbro to take on, right?" Ruby said happily.

Weiss raised her eyebrow. "_Bro_kip?"  
"Mudkip is ultimate bro!"

Yang laughed evilly. "Ohohohoho, I taught her that meme."

"...Yang, I swear, I will END YOU if she keeps talking about things being 'bro'." The heiress stated as calmly as possible.

"First Blake's obsession with manliness and now 'bros'..."

...

"...WOOHOO!" Ruby cheered happily. "Without my Marshstomp, I STILL crushed Flannery!"

"...to be fair, your team are almost five levels over hers." Yang stated. "You DID spend about half an hour grinding.

"It's just so easy though..." Ruby mentioned. "I mean, when did _Exp. Shares _give experience to the entire party?!"

Weiss frowned, shaking her head.  
"The kind of game that doesn't cheat you, like that stupid Platinum game I tried and failed at."

Suddenly, Blake returned, covered in soot, frowning.

"Well...I challenged the Tankery club again- or, rather, just Nora."

"I'm guessing that didn't go too well?" Weiss raised a finger.

"I'm going to need help to clean all this coal off of me..." The catgirl sighed.

"I suppose I'll put my game on hold for now." Ruby declared, putting the 3DS away and saving the game.

"Okay, Blake, grab me the sponges, we'll clean you up."  
"Thanks..." Blake said, sighing. "I still don't know how I lost...I'm m -manlier than Nora..."

"Humility is a lesson we must all learn." Weiss stated with a smug grin.

"...touché, Schnee." Blake conceded, chuckling.

Yang, deep down in her being, frowned.

'_No Weiss ragequits...I'm offended.'_

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well...eh! That was...what it was! I may cover the other parts of ORAS later on.**

**So, next chapter, the Anniversary chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts, reviews and comments and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	34. The Weiss Reacts Anniversary Special!

**The Weiss Reacts Anniversary Special!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to a VERY SPECIAL chapter of Weiss Reacts! Yes, that's right, it's one year to the day Weiss Reacts Volume One was released! That's right, one year since the insanity began! You guys are **_**probably **_**not as psyched about this as I am! This chapter will be different in format from the others, as it'll just be a bunch of vignettes which I never really saw fit to make an entire chapter out of.**

**Let's get this chapter going before you guys get bored of my ranting again!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a Neo plushie.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Why Yang Isn't Allowed To Cook Breakfast Anymore_

"You're going to...what?" Weiss scratched her head, blinking at Yang as the team ate with everyone else in the school canteen for dinner.

"I'm going to make you guys breakfast tomorrow!" Yang said, cheering as she lifted a forkful of beef to her mouth.

"And why?" The heiress calmly sipped her lemonade. "How do I know this isn't another stupid antic?"  
"Oh, you know," the brawler shrugged. "I just want to do nice things, once in a while. I AM going to be your future big sister, after all." Yang pointed out, winking at her. "I've got to set an example, right?"

Blake raised an eyebrow sceptically at her partner.

"You're telling me _you_ know how to cook?"

"Mhm! I'm the best cook ever!" Yang nodded proudly. "It comes with having to take care of Rubes, what with mom teaching in Mistral and Dad being busy sometimes..."  
"You only ever made microwavable baked beans and macaroni cheese..." Ruby pointed out, causing Yang to blush.

"R-Ruby! T-they don't need to know that!"

Weiss scoffed. "Even I can cook better than that."

"Is that a _challenge_, dear Weiss?" Yang responded with a determined smirk.

"It might be."

"Challenge _accepted._" Yang gave her a thumbs up and grinned. "I-I'll blow you away with my cooking skills!"

"I think the camping trip was proof enough." Weiss shot back drily.

"You..." Yang clenched her right hand tightly. Weiss merely smirked, savouring the rare moment where she had something on Yang she couldn't retort against.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I trust you, sis." Ruby smiled at her sister reassuringly.

"Thank you! Someone has faith in me."

Blake sighed, standing up and adjusting her bow. "Well, I'm going to go sleep in the Lagann tonight. When Yang burns down the dorm, call me. I've been dying to test out how good Norn is at putting fires out."

"Wow, Blake." Yang gave her partner a deadpan look. "I'm _so_ amazed by your support. I might even _explode_ with amazement."

"Leave the sarcasm to Weiss, please~"

"Urgh!" Yang sighed, muttering to herself. "I'll show you all..."

* * *

_Early next morning..._

Yang scanned through the Big Book of Trope Pantheons, looking for an appropriate deity to offer tribute to.

"Let me see...okay, O-Kirby-sama, God of Omnivorism, Gordon Ramsey, God of Perfectionist Cooking..." Yang flipped through the pages, adjusting her reading glasses carefully. "Ah, here! Takeshi Kaga, God of Cuisine!"

Yang looked around shiftily, smirking.

"Now they'll have to believe me!" The brawler cheered. "Let's see how to...oh, _COME ON!"_

The summoning ritual to invoke the power of said god was crossed out in Sharpie, with a note from Velvet apologising to any future users of the tome.

The brawler frowned and tossed the book aside, before sighing irritably.

"Just my luck..." Slightly dejected, she looked towards the stove in the dorm, rubbing her chin and thinking carefully.

"...maybe I could just make some bacon for them." The brawler nodded. "Yeah, bacon and fried eggs. That can't go wrong, right?"

And so, Yang began to fry her bacon. It went surprisingly well, all things considered.

A few minutes in, Yang studied a clock on the wall closely.

"Huh..." The brawler frowned slightly. "They're probably going to wake up in a couple of minutes...why won't this thing cook already?"

She stared at the sizzling bacon, crossing her arms and tapping her foot impatiently. "Come on, cook already..."

The bacon continued to sizzle, impassive of Yang's pleas to get it to cook faster.

"Ugh, cooking's boring!" Yang complained. "Why won't this thing cook faster..." She slapped the panhandle lightly. "Ugh...

"...okay, that does it!" The brawler snapped, taking out a phial of Dust. "I'm going to put this into overdrive! If I put some Dust onto it...it should cook faster!"

Yang did so, and-

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Ruby awoke to the scent of bacon.

"Urgh...huh?" She looked blearily at Yang frantically attempting to put a fire at the stove out with a blanket. "Yang?"

"...humrugh..." Ruby mumbled quietly to herself before going back to sleep.

"DAMMIT THAT DID NO WORK AS INTENDED" Yang complained, as Blake casually walked in, sighing.

"See, Yang? What did I tell you?"  
"S-shut up, Belladonna! Just help me put this thing out!"

"Alright. Norn?" The catgirl whistled for her Persocom, and Norn approached, still in that maid costume of hers, with a large nozzle and pack attached to her back.

"Do not worry, Miss Xiao Long," Norn announced with just a hint of sadistic glee in her flat voice. "I am equipped with adequate equipment that is not at all overly redundant."  
Yang stared at her before yelling. "T-that doesn't reas-"

Before she could finish the sentence, she was submerged in extinguisher foam, putting out the fire- and ruining Yang's hair. Norn turned off the flow a little later than she needed to.

"Fire extinguished."

"...now _that..._is a horrible pun..." Blake simultaneously chuckled and cringed, staring at the quivering mound of foam that was Yang.

Needless to say, after Yang was finally extracted from the mound of foam, Weiss had a good laugh that day, Yang spent the rest of the morning removing foam from her hair and muttering curses about Norn, and team RWBY collectively agreed that Yang was never allowed to cook without the entire team supervising her and in the vicinity of Dust.

The bacon, surprisingly, was edible, if a bit crispier than expected.

* * *

_How Do I Shot Web?_

Elsa Schnee stared at the blank computer monitor with a flat expression, her mouth slightly agape. She was inside RWBY dorm, sitting at Weiss' computer with nary the faintest idea of how to use it.

"Blake," the bookworm quietly called out. "How do I turn this on?"

"Turn what on?" Blake looked around, somewhat confused.

"This." Elsa pointed at the computer. "How does one activate these?"

"...you...errr...don't know how to use these?" Blake stared at her incredulously. Elsa merely looked down slightly, the slightest hint of red filling her cheeks.

"I...have never been taught how to."

Blake chuckled, shaking her head. "It's alright, Elsa. It makes sense, too. All you have to do is press the button on top of the CPU, which is that black cuboid next to the monitor that you were staring at, wait for stuff to show up and use the mouse to control the small arrow that moves around."

Elsa looked curiously at her. "A...mouse?"  
"Yeah. You point it at the computer and it makes the cursor move." Blake checked her watch, before frowning.

"Dammit, I'm going to be late for the Antic Order meeting. I'll see you around, okay? Just ask Weiss or Ruby or Yang to help you learn, okay?" The catgirl said as she swung her Team Antic cape behind her and rushed out of the dorm, leaving Elsa alone with the computer.

"...I must search for a mouse." The bookworm stated quietly to herself. "I do not know why a computer requires one of those to function, but if Blake says it does, then I must find one."

With that, she set out to find the first mouse she could, ignoring the white, mouse-like object with a red, blinking light in front of it next to the monitor.

* * *

"You want to borrow _my_ mice?" Nora tilted her head at Elsa as she clutched a cage full of squeaking mice.

"Yes." Elsa nodded quickly.

"…..why?"

"I require them for education."

"...if it is that good a cause, then I cannot deny you, fellow crusader!" Nora saluted her, before opening the cage's door and taking out a wriggling white-and-brown mouse.

"Take GOOD care of him! His name is Mr Scampers!"

"Noted." Elsa took Mr Scampers in her hand, petting him carefully and walking out of JNPR dorm. Nora smiled, satisfied.

"Another good deed done for the day!"  
Ren looked over at his girlfriend, raising an eyebrow.

"Nora, why are you holding a cage of mice in the first place?"

"Why, my dear Ren," She smiled sweetly at him. "These mice will be useful in my conquest of Beacon for the Great Pancake Order!"  
"...what."

"I'm hurt you don't understand me." Nora pouted, crossing her arms after putting the cage down. "Don't you see, the school is DESTINED to be united under the Pancake God!"

_Meanwhile, in RWBY dorm..._

Elsa lightly gripped Mr Scampers around the sides, staring at the blank screen, then at the CPU underneath.

"This should work." Elsa pressed the button on top of the unit, turning the computer on- apparently, it was a SchneeOS computer, judging by the start-up screen.

Shortly after the SchneeOS screen disappeared, a blue screen with three icons on it, each having Weiss, Ruby and Blake's names underneath them respectively, flashed onto screen. A white, arrow-like icon was on the screen as well, floating above the snowflake symbol for Weiss.

Elsa blinked briefly, before pointing Mr Scampers at the screen, slowly arcing him around in a circle to see if that moved the cursor. The mouse squeaked loudly and repeatedly, unused to the weird motion.

"...why is the icon not moving?" Elsa looked blankly at the computer. "Is the computer defective?"

"What is all that squeaking for?" Ruby complained as she walked in, popping a cookie into her mouth as she did, before looking over at Elsa.

"Hey, Elsa...wait, what are you doing?"

"I am attempting to use a computer." The bookworm said without irony.  
"And...why are you pointing a mouse at the screen?"  
"Blake said you had to point a mouse at the screen to make the cursor move."

The crimsonette giggled, shaking her head and moving over to Elsa, managing to pull Mr Scampers safely out of her grasp.

"Elsa...that's not the kind of mouse you use to use a computer." Ruby lifted the white computer mouse from behind the monitor. "_This_ is."

"Oh." The bookworm put down the mouse, who gladly sprinted to freedom through the open door, back to his mistress. "I see."

"...do you honestly not know how to use a computer?"  
"I-I was attempting to teach myself." The bookworm said with just a hint of embarrassment.

Ruby chuckled. "That is _so_ cuuuute! Tell you what, I'll teach you, okay?"

"You will?"

"No problem." The reaper smiled. "That's what I'm here for, after all."

"Well, then I have a question." The bookworm raised her finger. "Is a keyboard-"  
"It is _not_ made out of keycards or house keys."  
"...understood."

* * *

_Sir Lyserg and Vivi's Wonderful Adventure!_

Vivi jumped onto the gentlemanly dinosaur's back.

"Pipipipi!"

"...what, milady?"

"Pi..." The plushie patted her stubby left arm on her right, as if to clarify her words. "Pipipipi."

"...I...don't see why you would want to-"  
"Pipipipipi..." Vivi sighed, shaking her head. "Pipipipipipi...pipipipi!"

"Are you saying Lady Scarlatina's life is in danger unless you can acquire something from Vale!?" Sir Lyserg adjusted his monocle, still not quite adjusted to what was going on here, but clearly shocked.  
Vivi nodded hurriedly. "Pi pi!"

"...I cannot stand idly by while a dear friend is likely to die!" He pointed a talon-tipped claw to the sky. "Very well, tally-ho!"

With that, Sir Lyserg began to scamper off out of the window and into the Beacon grounds, with Vivi hanging on for dear life.  
"Piiiiiii!"

"Onwards! We ride in defence of a dear friend!" Sir Lyserg declared as he leapt out of Beacon's front gate.

Ozpin casually studied the scene, sipping a cup of coffee.

"...hm." He shrugged. "Glynda, does that look suspicious to you?"

The instructor was merely staring at the spectacle, shocked.

"W-what kind of antic..."

...

Eventually, after leaping onto various cars and trucks to skip traffic, Vivi and Sir Lyserg arrived in Vale Shopping Center.

"Pipipipi!" Vivi pointed towards the nearest sweet shop.

"I had assumed Lady Scarlatina required medicine, Lady Vivi." The RWBYSaurus looked confusedly at the plushie on his back.

"Pipipi pi pipipi pi."  
"You say the medicine she requires is here?"  
"Pipipi." Vivi shrugged. "Pi, pi pi pi pii."

"Very well...I shall take you at your word!" Sir Lyserg reared up and leapt through the crowd.

The crowd stared at the dinosaur and plushie running through the crowd, stepping back as Lyserg ran through.

"Oh Oum!"

"Is that a _dinosaur_?!"  
"Mommy, mommy, it's Grimmasic Park!"  
"The hell is a dinosaur doing here?!"

"Pipipipi..." Vivi pointed dead ahead.

"What do you mea-" Lyserg's monocled eye widened as he saw a pane of glass being lifted in front of him.

"Very well, excelsior!"

With a roar, he somersaulted through the air over the pane and landed perfectly on the other side, before continuing his run towards the sweet store.

Finally, after several minutes, they arrived, and Vivi dismounted, staring at him.

"Pipipipi, pipi pipipi piiiiii pipipi. Pi?"  
"Understood, Lady Vivi." Sir Lyserg nodded quickly.

"Pi!" Vivi gave him a thumbs up and walked in.

* * *

Minutes later, Vivi ran outside frantically, carrying a bag of unidentified objects before climbing onto Sir Lyserg's back.

"Pipipipipi!"

"W-what? What do you mean by that-"  
"Pipipi!" Vivi squeaked as the angry looking shopkeeper began walking out after her.

"...alright, Lady Vivi!" Sir Lyserg reared up and began running.

"Come back here! Hey!" The shopkeeper roared after them, before whipping out a phone.

"Lady Vivi, please do not tell me you stole the medicine."  
"Pipipipi!"  
"...I am sadly bound by my oath of chivalry to help you still..." The dinosaur sighed just before police robots- Atlesian Knight models- appeared.

"STOP." One robot placed itself between Lyserg and the exit. "YOU ARE VIOLATING THE LAW."

"Pi pi PI!" Vivi pulled Lyserg's neck up and the pair leapt out of the shopping center and to freedom using the robot's head as a springboard.

"Lady Vivi, I believe it would be wise to-"  
"Pi pi pi pi."

"...well, that was rude of you."

Vivi steered them towards an empty police bike, before climbing off and pointing at the backseat.

The dinosaur stared at her incredulously. "Surely you're not serious."  
"Pi pipi pipi."  
"..." Lyserg looked behind him as the Atlesian Knights closed in. Sighing, he climbed on the back of the bike, clinging on to the seat with his claws.

"Very well, Lady Vivi, I entrust you with my life."  
"Pipipipi!" The plushie then climbed to the ignition of the bike, before peeling the panel off and fiddling with the wires in the ignition. Before long, the engines roared into life, as Vivi cheered happily.

"PIPIPIPIPI!" She clambered onto the front seat, before whipping out two long clamping claws and attaching them to the handlebars, revving the motorcycle up and driving away.

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"  
"I-I think I might be nauseous..." Sir Lyserg, ever the dignified gentleman, placed a claw to his mouth.

"STOP. YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW." The robots called after them as they gave chase, but Vivi was too far away.

She rode onto the nearest highway out of Vale and back to Beacon, cheering all the way.

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later..._

Vivi finally drove the motorcycle into Beacon, sidling up to the main entrance into the main building where Velvet was waiting impatiently.

Lyserg adjusted his monocle blearily.

"That was...unsavoury..." The dinosaur muttered.

Vivi turned off the ignition by moving the wires with her clamping claws, before jumping off with the bag.

"D-did you get it?" Velvet eagerly asked.

"Pipipi!" Vivi nodded happily, opening the bag and revealing a load of Weiss-branded sweets. "Piii!"  
Sir Lyserg merely stared dumbfounded at the bounty they'd risked arrest for.

"You're the best, Vivi-chan!" Velvet hugged her plushie tightly.

"Pipipi..." Vivi nuzzled her partner's cheek. "I...wuuuv you..."

"Awww...you can talk, too?!"  
"Pi!"

"...okaaay, maybe not yet, but still!"

Lyserg sighed, walking off slowly and fixing his top hat and monocle.

"One fears that one might need a cup of tea after that stressful fiasco."

* * *

_Reactsverse Profiles #1_

**Of course, information on some of the characters who fill the world of Weiss Reacts who aren't from other series, hm? Just in case you were curious.**

**#1**

**Full Name: Siegfried Pieter Schnee**

**Title: Patriarch of the Schnee Family, CEO of Schnee Dust Company**

**Age: 36**

**Gender: Male**

**Description: His hair is straight, short and pale white, like his daughter's. His eyes are a piercing grey behind small spectacles. His physique is incredibly muscular and bulky, yet the man is capable of extreme bursts of speed, should he need to be. Has a preference for fine black suits. His personality is fairly open, kind and accepting, especially towards his beloved daughter Weiss. However, he loathes his father Siegmund Schnee.**

**Weapon: Balmung, often referred to as The Dragonslayer, a Ballistic Multiform Sword Variant type. A massive, single-edged blade, with a black segment at the blunt end and a large, rubber-bound grip with a stylized dragon's mouth as a hilt. Other forms include a massive cannon and a 'propeller' form used to carry Siegfried along akin to a windsurfing boat.**

**Semblance: Nullification: Siegfried is capable of negating most Semblances via contact with his Aura. Immense training has allowed him to hone his Aura into a blade around Balmung to effectively make use of his Semblance.**

* * *

**#2**

**Full Name: Vivi**

**Age: 6 months**

**Gender: Female**

**Description: She resembles Weiss Schnee in appearance and clothing, only being a plushie version of her- her hair is a darker shade of blue than the real Weiss, and her clothing is brighter. Her personality is somewhat kind, if fairly sarcastic and incredibly mischievous, fitting her original purpose as a servant to Velvet.**

**Weapon: Slugger, Mallet Variant. A large, wooden mallet. It appears to be impervious to destruction by any means.**

**Semblance: CLASSIFIED**

* * *

**#3**

**Full Name: Elsa Schnee**

**Age: 19**

**Gender: Female**

**Description: Her hair is straight, somewhat long and pale white, though dyed purple. Her eyes are a sharp blue behind large-rimmed spectacles. Her physique resembles Weiss', for the most part, although her chest is larger, giving the latter no end to envy. Her personality is characterised as quiet and introverted, with a love of books- however, she will fiercely defend her friends and adopted family if need be. **

**Weapon: Kaltblume, a Multi Action Dust Rapier- Wakizashi Variant type. Similarly to Myrtenaster, the weapon uses Dust as ammunition, firing out of a barrel underneath the blade. The sword's blade itself is shorter than Myrtenaster, but wider and with a single edge, allowing for a quick draw for Elsa to launch into her various sword techniques. The grip is also similar to a pistol grip, to allow for quicker draws.**

**Semblance: Ice Manipulation: Elsa, unlike Weiss, does not require the use of Dust to create and manipulate ice, the ability being native to her. As such, she is capable of finer manipulation of ice, forming extensions to Kaltblume or shields with it.**

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So three one-shots and a bunch of character profiles! Not bad, not bad at all.**

**Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to ****The Layman's ****Yangilocks and the Three Fauna! Yep! A huge shout-out to The Layman for allowing us to react to it in the first place- if you're reading this, you're awesome and you should feel awesome!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, criticisms, reviews and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	35. Special Chapter: Yangilocks!

**Yang Reacts to Yangilocks and the Three Fauna!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, we're **_**actually **_**reacting to a fanfic for once! How **_**unexpected**_**, but it happens! A shout out to ****The Layman, ****the writer of that fanfic- personally, the fic is brilliant if unloved- aaand let's get this chapter on the road before you get bored of me!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Yang would be wearing a maid costume at least once (droooool)**

**Yanglilocks and the Three Fauna belongs to The Layman.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"W-Weiss? A detention?" Yang raised an eyebrow inquisitively at the horrified Ruby.

"I-I don't even know how!"

"...pffthahaHAHAHAHAH!" Yang clutched her stomach, laughing heartily as she shook her head, sighing. "H-How did _Weiss_ get a _detention_?!"

"She, uh...smacked Dove in the face after he made fun of her chest." Ruby twiddled her fingers nervously.

"That's what happens when you take your tsunderishness too far, Weissy~" The brawler sighed, shaking her head, before standing up from her bed and donning her jacket. "Well, Ruby, come with me."  
Ruby gazed at her curiously. "Yang! Where are you going?"

"We're keeping Weiss entertained!" Yang explained. "What, d'you think I'm going to let her be bored in detention?"  
"Sis, I don't think that's a good idea. It's Professor Goodwitch she's in detention with..." Ruby clarified, biting her lip.

"Goodwitch, you say?" Yang said, a smirk growing on her face. "...oh, I can handle Goodwitch. Just you watch me."

Grabbing her sunglasses from a nearby shelf and adjusting her jacket lightly, Yang nodded at Ruby.

"Meet me in front of Goodwitch's room in about ten minutes, kay?"  
"...oh, I'm not going to like this, am I?" Ruby muttered aside.

Yang pouted. "Don't you trust me, oh sister dear?"  
"...what?"

"I dunno." Yang shrugged casually, pursing her lip slightly. "I've always wanted to say 'oh sister dear'. It gives me chills!"  
"...riiiight."

"D-don't judge me!"

_Minutes later, at Professor Goodwitch's classroom..._

"I still don't understand why _I _get detention and _Bronzewing_ gets away with it scot-free!" Weiss complained, staring at Glynda.

"Well, Miss Schnee," Glynda stared right back, adjusting her glasses. "I may have to remind you that, even though he did insult, in no particular order, Miss Gunther's hair color, Miss Scarlatina's ears and your...physical attributes, that was no reason to _knock him unconscious_ with a slap." The instructor exhaled, before continuing.

"As for _why_ he isn't here, maybe that can adequately be explained by his current presence in the infirmary, Miss Schnee." The instructor stated drily.

"In my defence, I gave him a warning _not _to insult my chest size." Weiss retorted. "N-Not that I'm insecure about my perfectly adequate chest! It's decent-sized, alright?!"

"Whether your chest size is adequate is irrelevant. My decision still stands and that is final-"

"Professor Goodwitch!" Ruby called from the corridor. The instructor stood up from her seat and gave Weiss a stern look.

"Do not leave while I deal with Miss Rose." Glynda strolled outside, walking over to a nervous Ruby.

"Miss Rose, what is it? I am very busy dealing with your teammate."

"I...uh...wanted to give you a gift!" Ruby presented Glynda with a flower-shaped gem barrette. Glynda examined it closely.

"Hm...a replica of Mami's barrette?"

"Yeah!"

The inspector placed it in her hair, nodding slowly. "Hm. I...don't know what warranted such a gift, but-"  
Suddenly, a rumbling began to fill the corridor- a rumbling of feet.

"THERE SHE IS"

"Excuse-" Glynda hardly had time to finish her sentence before a large group of fanboys and fangirls, all wearing various Mami-related gear, carted her up and dragged her away, chanting in what sounded like Mami's theme tune.

"W-what in the- th-this was an antic!" Glynda yelled as she was dragged away. "YANG XIAO LONG!"

"Sorry!" Ruby waved at her slowly. "I-I'll make it up to you, Professor! I promise!"

Meanwhile, Yang climbed in through the classroom window nearest Weiss, surprising the heiress.

"Y-Yang! What are you doing here? Why was Glynda yelling your name?" Weiss inquired, before holding a finger up. "Actually, don't answer that, I don't think I _want _to know why she was screaming your name."

"I came to entertain you!" The brawler responded, chuckling. "As for that other thing...I kinda set the Mami Tomoe Appreciation Club on Glynda."

"The _what_?"

"An old club appreciating that girl from Puella Magi, the one with the ribbons and the muskets." Yang said, chuckling. "I still can't believe we _have_ that club! I thought they shut it down back in Volume 1."

"She doesn't, and she _never_ even WENT to this school!" Weiss complained. "W-what's up with that?!"

"Apparently Coco's a member. And Sun." Yang studied the club's stolen ledger. "Hm. Anyway."

She whipped out her scroll, grinning at Weiss.

"Let's read some fanfic!"

"...has it occurred to you that breaking me out of detention might be a good idea _before _you do that?" The heiress sarcastically remarked.

"Shush, you. We're on the other side of the campus from here and Blake'll be here with our ride soon." The brawler stated as Ruby ran in, shutting the door behind her.

"Rubes! Get over here!"  
"I just made sure nobody'll go here before we started." Ruby strolled over to the pair. "You guys found a fanfic yet?"  
"I refuse to believe you morons kidnapped Professor Goodwitch and broke into my detention just to read fanfics with me." The heiress muttered. "Although _how_ I still refuse to believe it escapes me."

"Okaaaay." Yang tapped at the scroll, looking through the DustFiction archives.

"Yangilocks and the Three Fauna?" The brawler tapped her chin briefly. "Sounds interesting! We're reading this!"  
"...Of course we're going to read it because _your name_ is in the title." Weiss rolled her eyes, sighing.

"Well, it's not like I'm doing anything else, anyway. Fine, hit me with it."

"Hah!" Yang grinned triumphantly. "I always win. You love me too much not to read awesome fics about me~"

"Moron." Weiss rolled her eyes, shaking her head at her teammate's narcissism.

* * *

"...this sound familiar or what?" Yang pointed out as their in-story selves talked in detention, smiling.

"The difference, Xiao Long, is that Bronzewing deserved to be slapped in the face and our story selves were _morons_ for holding a food fight!" Weiss snapped irritably.

"Oh, I remember _this_ food fight..." The brawler snapped her fingers. "That was hilarious..."  
"That was stupid."

"You got involved! You don't get to complain."  
"...s-shut up, you dunce..." Weiss crossed her arms, blushing, causing Ruby to hug her tightly.

"G-gah! Ruby!"  
"I HAVE to snuggle you! You're so cute when you act like that..."  
"G-gah...m-moron..." The heiress looked away from her girlfriend in embarrassment. "W-why do you have to act so s-stupid..."

Yang thumped her chest proudly. "Damn straight I'm awesome! I can tell stories AND make them up!"

"Such talents are wasted on the incurably perverted." Weiss quipped.

"Or _are they_?"  
"I am NOT going to stop reading this stupid fanfic to listen to stupid perverted stories you might have." Weiss grumbled.

"To be fair, Yang did use to tell me a lot of stories back when Mom was teaching in Mistral..." Ruby noted. "She and Mom always had good stories."  
"Yeah. Which reminds me, we have to call Mom later, okay?" Yang reminded her sister. "She's coming back from Mistral and teaching closer to home now so Dad won't be lonely."

"For a moment there, I thought you were talking about Summer." Weiss sighed.

"Yin's as much my mom as my real mom is." Ruby declared fondly. "Just like Yang will always be my sister."

"...I see." The heiress nodded briefly, and for a moment, the mood seemed sombre in the room.

Within moments, it was broken once more.

"Personal favourite story?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Oh dear _Oum_ it's going to be stupid and perverted.

And Goldilocks, too? This story will be absolutely ruined, I can already feel it."

"Oh come on," Ruby pleaded. "Have some faith in Yang!"

"Stupid and perverted just happen to be a Xiao Long trademark!" Yang gave her a thumbs up, grinning.  
"You were saying, Ruby?" Weiss retorted, before glaring at the brawler. "As for you, have you no _shame_?!"

"Nope!"

* * *

"Sexy?" Weiss' eyelid twitched. "_SERIOUSLY_?!"  
Yang smiled seductively at her. "You know you can't resist me, Weiss~ I'm just too beautiful~"  
"Beauty and chest size are not directly linked, idiot."

"I might beg to differ~" The brawler responded. "And you're just jelly~"  
"J-just read the stupid story, you moron!" Weiss snapped, knowing she would lose the banter contest if she tried to engage Yang.

"Self-aggrandizing tripe..." The heiress muttered. "Sounds about right."

Yang pouted. "Meanie."

"Hey, look, they even put my puppy dog face here!" Ruby said, laughing. "At least they got me right!"  
"Self-aggrwasomething that only Weiss can pronounce." Yang waved her hand dismissively. "Yep, sounds like her, alright. They got me right, too."  
"Narcissistic and obsessed with your chest size?" Weiss helpfully pointed out.

"Completely awesome and flawless."

"My point's proven, it seems."

"MEASUREMENTS THAT CAN TURN A- YAAAAANG"

Yang was in the middle of laughing herself breathless.

"Oh my...hah!" The brawler shook her head. "You know what, screw Mami, _I_ deserve an appreciation club!"  
Weiss facepalmed, shaking her head. "This is utterly ridiculous."

"Snow?" Ruby raised an eyebrow. "Belle? Way to make things _original_, Yang."

"Your words wound me so, dear sister!" Yang pretended to have been speared through the heart, collapsing backwards dramatically in her chair.

The heiress grumbled. "It's true. And why did you make me a _fox_ Faunus? If anything, I'd be a shark! Sharks are superior animals to pathetic little foxes!"

"Fox would be offended if he heard you say that." Yang pointed out with a giggle.

"Screw him, he's a pervert like you." Weiss scoffed. "Creative license my backside...random, my backside..."

"At least Yang's not making the obvious joke here." Ruby pointed out helpfully.

"Oh, Oum, _no..._" Weiss groaned in exasperation as Yang breathed in.

"What does the Weiss say? Yip yap yi-"  
"IF YOU COMPLETE THAT SONG I WILL PERSONALLY END YOU" Weiss roared, only causing Yang to burst out into laughter.

* * *

"Complete moron..." Weiss chided Yang. "Do you know how _hard_ it is to get Grimm fur?"

"Well, to be fair, Nora's mom does own a cape made from Boarbartusk hide..." Ruby pointed out helpfully. "Although I have absolutely _no_ idea how she got that thing..."

"It's Nora's _mother_." The heiress explained. "I'm all but sure they're insane enough to ignore reality if it meant they served the sloth god better or something."  
"Damn straight, sister!" Yang called out, agreeing with her fairy-tale self within the fanfic. "I mean, seriously, can you believe shampoo prices? And they don't even sell bottles in _bulk_ anymore!

I mean, don't they understand that a girl like me _needs_ to maintain her hair?"  
"Yang, read the fanfic. Now." Weiss commanded her, inducing a sigh from Yang.

"Sheesh, okay, miss bossyboots." Yang did so, shaking her head.

"...I am NOT that stupid!" Weiss yelled. "I can understand a story's purpose and I can suspend my disbelief! Even if the protagonist is a narcissistic pervert..."  
"I'm offended that he thought I was a terrible cook." Ruby said, frowning. "I can cook better than Yang!"

"In my defence, dad tried to teach me!" Yang protested. "I just..." She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Didn't pay attention!"  
"Moron..." Weiss chided her again, grumbling.

"And seriously, there are three chairs, three bowls and three of everything." The heiress rolled her eyes. "How you still didn't see that three people lived there escapes me.

And now I know why I didn't like fairy tales."  
Yang laughed. "Your childhood must've been boring then."

"No, just not full of inane tales like these. " Weiss corrected her, before staring angrily at one portion of the screen.

"And I AM NOT SO OBSESSED WITH HOW CLEAN MY CLOTHES ARE!

I AM A HUNTRESS! I CAN ACCEPT MY CLOTHES GETTING MUDDY!"

* * *

"When _Blake_ is the sanest person there, you know a tale is inane." Weiss remarked. "And I am not so barbaric I would resort to slitting someone's throat in their sleep! Please, I am FAR more honorable."

"Trying to use this to teach you a lesson?" Yang scoffed. "No way, it wouldn't work. One, I'd be too badass for you three to kill anyway, and two, it's not like you'd learn!"

"I have nothing to learn from you anyway." Weiss remarked drily.

"Nah, you're just not worthy of being myPadawan, young Jedi." Yang shot back playfully.

"If I knew what those meant, I'm sure I'd be offended."

"Man, that story was bad." Ruby complained. "Why didn't Goldilocks turn around and blow everyone up like a badass?"  
"Exactly!" Yang agreed. "That was such a boring ending to that."

Weiss stared at them, dumbfounded.

"...what in the...y-you MADE UP the stupid story, moron!"  
"I did, but it lacks a certain _oomph_ to it, you know?" The brawler responded, gesturing somewhat. "Needs more explosions."

"I'm not even surprised that that's what you're disappointed about." The heiress stated.

"...and HAH! In your face! I proved you like stories! Just like the real you does!" Yang declared proudly, pumping her fist. "Hell yeah!"

"I don't _like_ real stories, moron!" Weiss responded. "I o-only read them because y-you idiots drag me with you when you do?"  
"Ah, but how about the many times you read a story by yourself?" Yang pointed out helpfully.

Ruby leaned in. "Or when you wanted to write your own story?"

"Or that time-"  
"URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI!" Weiss yelled, before sighing her loudest sigh yet.

"FINE! I GET YOUR POINT! ARE YOU HAPPY?! I SWEAR, I WILL DO WHAT MY STORY SELF DID AND COME AFTER YOUR HAIR, YAN-"

Weiss was cut off by Yang staring intensely and deeply into her eyes.

"Don't say another word." The brawler calmly stated, her eyes drilling into Weiss' very _soul._

At this point, the heiress felt more than a little uncomfortable. She felt her heart flutter.

"...I've been tolerant of your threats until now, Weiss. Very tolerant." Yang clarified, her voice as calm as possible.

"If you threaten my hair again, here is exactly what I'm going to do.

I will kill myself. And when my soul finds itself in the burning Hells, so help me, I will _conquer_ them. From within the darkness, I will lash together an infernal, eternal engine from the souls of the dying and the screams of the innocent, and fuelled by revenge, this damned engine shall be the drill that pierces the skies of Hell itself.

I will find you. That is certain.

As I slip through the vortex, bathed in daemonic energies, you will scarcely glimpse at my divine radiance before you are reduced to salt and ashes. Then, as tears of flame stream down my face, my dark work will begin, and all will be ashes.

I will sing the song that ends the Earth. And all the mighty shall look upon my works and despair.

My hair is not to be messed with. Am I clear, Weiss Schnee?"

Weiss gulped, somewhat horrified. "Y-yes..."  
Yang reverted back to grinning. "Excellent! I guess we're at an agreement!

Now, who leaves the review?"

* * *

From: **Little Sun Dragon-Sempai**

omg best fic i love it pleae write more

love yang

ps. weiss loves it too bny the wat its cute

* * *

Ruby sighed in relief. "We actually managed to f-"  
"Finish that?" Glynda stepped into the room, dishevelled and irritated. Yang waved at her.

"Professor! Uh...hi-"  
"You three are staying in here until dinnertime. That is an order!"

Suddenly, however, Blake appeared with the Lagann, floating out of the window.

"Blake!" Ruby waved at her. "You came! Get us in!"

The catgirl lowered the flying mecha slightly, opening up the canopy. "Jump in!"

Team RWBY did so, reuniting with their final member as Glynda ran to the window, shaking her fist.

"Yeah!" Blake cheered. "We got away!"  
"Hah!" Yang scoffed. "I doubt they'll-"

Suddenly, the Lagann stopped moving forwards.

"Huh?" Weiss looked up at the canopy, to see a grappling hook hooked into the gap.

Ruby stared at it as well. "What the..."

"Oh, you two should've thought about trying to escape detentions." Beth Lupin, resident caretaker, kept her grappling hook ready and pulled the Lagann back to the window, before wrenching the canopy open and revealing a sheepish Team RWBY.

Beth sighed, passing the grappling hook to the instructor. "Solve that, I've got to go clean up something downstairs."

Glynda glared at them, clutching her grappling hook tightly.

"Do you have _anything_ to say for yourselves?"

A pause.

Yang shrugged. "...we're sorry?"

_Five minutes later..._

"...and now we're stuck in detention for the rest of the afternoon!" Weiss complained, glaring at Yang. "This is all your fault! Why'd you break in in the first place!"

"I didn't know it'd go that wrong!" The brawler complained.

"...oh, well, at least we can always go to story-

"NO"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: That's done! Another shout-out to ****The Layman**** for allowing me to write about his story!**

**Next time, Weiss Reacts to Mafia! **

**I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	36. Emergency Newsflash

**Hello, ElfCollaborator here. Normally, I do not make uploads that are not pertaining to the story without a very good reason to, mainly to inform the readers about sudden updates during a hiatus. This is one of those times.**

**What follows this is not a joke nor is it a troll. I received the news just five minutes ago-as of this writing-as I woke up. I checked to verify that this was indeed the case.**

**What you may not know is that Monty Oum, the creator of RWBY himself, has suffered a severe medical emergency and is in critical condition. According to Burnie, "it is not known if he will recover."**

**My condolences are with his family and friends, and I hope he will recover readily. Please, if you can, support them as well as you can. I had to get this message out because I wish to get as many people to support him and his loved ones as I possibly can.**

**Otherwise, I wish you all a good day, ElfCollaborator out.**


	37. Announcement

**Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. By now, you should know what I'm here to speak about. I don't normally find myself covering grim subjects in Weiss Reacts, but I felt that it had to be done.**

**At 4:54 pm yesterday (as of this writing), Monty Oum, creator of RWBY, passed away. **

**That announcement alone brought shockwaves within the RWBY fandom, including the fanfiction community- that makes it myself, fellow writers and you guys, the faithful readers who follow us no matter what. **

**The man who had spent countless hours working on his ideas to entertain us and make it look badass, gone suddenly from us. I only found out about it in the middle of other activities, to the point I initially thought that it had to be a joke- it had to have been one. Surely, the same guy who basically worked twenty-five hours a day just to get his work done to the best he could couldn't just die like that, right?**

**However, it wasn't, as I found out and as you already know.**

**Now, I personally owe a lot to him. Without his work, I would have never begun RWBY fanfiction, and thus without him, Weiss Reacts and all of the fics that came from it would never have existed. Without him, I might probably not have ever started writing fanfiction at all- or at least, not until I felt something was comfortable to write about. Either way, my life was affected by his work to a great extent.**

**However, this is not about me and how I feel about the tragedy. **

**This is about how we should respond to it.**

**Now, I can't say that apart from RWBY, I knew his work very well. That would be a lie. What I do know, however, is that it contained some of the most badass, awesome, over the top fights and scenes that any mortal mind on this Earth could come up with.**

**So then, is it not proper that we send off Monty in a way that isn't sad, but rather badass? Deserving of the man's legacy?**

**That's what I'm going to do. **

**For those wondering about how this affects the Reactsverse, this is the part you might want to listen up to.**

**The Reactsverse will continue regardless- with the exception of a lack of an update this coming Wednesday for me to work on a piece for an unrelated writing competition. If I planned it to end in three volumes, it'll end in three volumes.  
The show must go on, as I've always heard said before, and I feel that it is the duty of us fanfiction writers to keep it going- to keep the legacy of his awesomeness continuing on, not just for us and you guys, but for him.**

**I recognise that you guys read my fics and that, sometimes, it might even brighten your day. More than ever, you guys will need it- and to an extent, so will I.**

**Secondly, the Mafia chapter will be postponed for the next month. Black comedy at this moment in time is, understandably, undesirable. Instead, it'll be replaced with the aforementioned badass sendoff- it's only right that the man who brought Dead Fantasy and RWBY to the world be sent off with an equal amount of badassery. **

**Finally, as a sign of respect, starting from here, the exclamation 'Oum' will no longer be used in Weiss Reacts and replaced with what was originally used, 'Dust'.**

**To end this speech, I turn to everyone who writes fanfiction, especially if you write RWBY. **

**Please, carry on what you do. Entertain the audience, cheer them up, keep the show going. It's our duty, ****_nay, _****our obligation to ensure that everyone here still gets to enjoy fanfiction regardless of what happens- our duty to our fans and to him.**

**Those of you planning to write tributes, I implore you to write the most badass ones you can, the most awesome and explosive ones possible. It's only right we send him off with the same heroic, epic and mindblowing atmosphere he spent his life giving us, is it not? Be not sad, but celebrate his achievements! Give him one last hurrah! Do what you can to make sure that every last person who reads our stories knows that that is his legacy- not tragedy, but awesomeness, the likes of which the world had never seen before.**

**I feel it is right to end the speech like this, really.**

**O-Monty-sama, from all of us here, we thank you for everything you've given us, and the countless hours of awesomeness you gave us. Now, it's our turn to return the favour.**

**This is ElfCollaborator, signing out until tomorrow. **


	38. The Cockerel Festival, Part 1!

**The Cockerel Festival!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts. Only two things to say now, really.**

**The show must go on. **

**Monty, this whole next arc is for you. **

**You gave us badass battles, so now it's our turn to give back.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Ruby burst into RWBY dorm, panting and breathing heavily. Yang, Blake and Weiss looked up from their game of Munchkin- judging by the cards on the table, Blake was losing heavily to Weiss, who was spamming monster cards against her, while Yang was in the process of stealing all of Weiss' cards.

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" The reaper chirped. "Guys!"  
"Yes, Ruby, we heard you the first few times." Weiss said, sighing. "What is it?"

"Did you see the decorations?!"  
"Decorations?" Blake raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about?"

"You know, those weird red and black banners they're putting up, with the rooster pictures!"

Ren, of course, happened to be running past, carrying one of those banners, before looking into the room.

"The rooster...oh!" He snapped his fingers. "Of course, that."

Weiss crossed her arms, sighing. "Ruby, don't you know what time of the year it is?"

"...Valentines! Which I totally have chocolates for you for!" Ruby looked at Weiss hopefully. The heiress sighed irritably.

"No, no...no..."

"This festival happens to have great significance to me." Ren said, smiling. "You'll need reminding of what time of year it is, won't you?"

Ruby pouted. "...I suppose...you have a point..."

"You forgot it's the Feast of the Cockerel today, Ruby." The gunslinger said, wagging his finger.

Ruby blinked. "Huh?"  
"Oh come on, Rubes!" Yang complained. "You don't know what that is? I always used to tell you the story about it!"

"...then maybe you'll just have to retell the story. Pweaaaase?" Ruby begged, looking at Yang with puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, fine..."

"No, Yang. It's fine." Ren chuckled. "Let me."

Pulling up a chair while tucking his banner away, Ren stretched his fingers, clearing his throat.

"I haven't told a story like this for a long time. Nora loves me telling this one."  
"Oh goody, a story!" Ruby cheered happily. "I love stories!"

"Once upon a time, or so the legends tell, we were not known as the kingdom of Vale. Before so the legends say, we were once ruled by a kingdom that had as its flag, a red toothed cockerel. They were loved by all, for they were mighty and yet benevolent.

There was also a great bard. A bard who loved to tell stories of battles- great, epic battles the likes of which the world had never seen before. He was once a wanderer, known throughout the land for his beautiful imagination and the stories he always told, but the king of the cockerel kingdom once heard his tales, and, awed by his skill, asked him to reside with him. The bard, overjoyed by the offer, could only accept.

For a while, the kingdom was ecstatic! They had among them a bard known for his beloved tales of earth-shaking battles. The kingdom was satisfied, and the king and his subjects never found themselves lost for entertainment during the long, cold nights." Ren took in a breath, preparing to continue. Ruby looked at him eagerly, waiting for him to continue.

"But then? There's always a but, right?"

"...you asked for it. I don't like this part of the story." Ren admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "It was always the saddest part that Nora would cry at."  
"Pweaaase, Ren?"

"...but then, one day, the bard...was taken away from them. Not by any evil enemy, nor by any magic, but by cruel fate.

The kingdom mourned his loss- the king, his subjects and the common people- and they mourned him long, for his voice was silenced long before his time. They mourned him, as was the custom, for a year and a day.

On the last day, however, a band of bards came again to the kingdom, coming to them in the middle of their loss. They asked of them, "Why are you sad? Why not be mirthful?". The people, anguished, responded "For we have lost one dear to us, that is why we weep."

The bards could not tolerate it. They, too, had known the bard and loved him, but they could not stand by and see his kingdom weep.

So they stood up and gathered the people around fires, and with their heads held high, they told new stories, ones that seemed like and yet also unlike the ones the great bard had told. They told them until the people became happy once more, forgetting that they had wept for the bard, realising instead, to hold mirth in his name was only right, as he had brought mirth.

Understanding this, the King at once asked the bards to sing songs of the man and his achievements, and to sing him high into the heavens above, amidst a great feast in his honor. They could only oblige.

And so, it was that after the feasting and the remembrance was over, the night the bards consoled the people of the Cockerel Kingdom was forever known as the Feast of the Cockerel." Ren finished, sighing and smiling a little.

"Now, Ruby, do you remember?"

"Oh! Now I remember..." Ruby nodded. "And mom always used to take us to the parades during the Feast!"

Weiss smiled in spite of herself, shaking her head. "Ruby, sometimes, you astound me with how much like a dunce you can act."

"H-Hmph! Meanie!" Ruby crossed her arms, pouting.

Blake rubbed her chin, thinking. "Now that I think about it, wasn't the school going to run a tournament today to celebrate the festival?"

"That's right." Ren nodded. "I was on the committee for setting it up, after all."

Yang smirked, cracking her knuckles. "FINALLY! I get to bust some heads and show off my awesomeness. It's like, the first year we're allowed to go!"

"That's right!" Ruby snapped her fingers. "Only third and fourth years are allowed to do the tournament...after spending two years watching it, now we get to actually FIGHT in it!"

"You mean your pervertedness, Yang. I doubt anyone would consider that attribute 'awesome'." Weiss quipped.

"Nothing wrong with showing people that, dear Weiss~"

"Can you _not_ be a pervert for once?" Weiss snapped irritably.

"Nah. That's boring." Yang said with a giggle, before turning to Ren.

"So, where do we sign up for this tournament?"

"I hear they're taking people up right now." The gunslinger stood up, picking his banner up. "If you get down there now, you should still be able to get in. They're letting outside Hunters in, too. Limited spaces, you see. I'll see you guys there!"

With that, Ren walked out, humming _This Is The Day We've Waited For_ to himself as he walked away.  
Blake stood up, adjusting her bow. "Well, what are you waiting for? We get the chance to show just how awesome our school is to a bunch of outsiders! I've been DYING to fight for once!"

"Maybe because you keep losing to apparently 'inferior' moeblobs and tanks." The heiress remarked.

The catgirl glared at her. "T-those were unfair losses and you _know it._"

Ruby adjusted her cape slightly. "Guys, what're we waiting for? Let's go! Time's running out!"

* * *

Team RWBY walked through the front courtyard of Beacon, which was alive with activity. Various food stalls in the red-and-black colors of the Cockerel Feast were selling everything from ice cream to toffee apples. Some of the first year Huntsmen and Huntresses were going about and offering people tickets to spectate the festival's tournament, which was being advertised on digital boards and posters throughout the grounds.

Yang stretched her arms, yawning. "Maaaan...this place is _packed_!"  
"No kidding." Ruby looked around in wonder. "I bet half of Vale piled in to see the school celebrating it."

"Well, the school have had a tradition of throwing really big celebrations during the Feast." Blake admitted, shrugging. "It's not unexpected that everyone would come to see them, right?"

"Still, I bet you I could own any pansy newbie that comes up here." Yang said with a cheeky grin. "I'm just too badass and hot to lose~"  
"We'll see about that." Weiss remarked. "I bet you anything I can beat you in a fight."

"We've been through this, Weiss. I'm just too awesome!"  
"Let's prove that, then!" Weiss yelled. "You, me, tournament, now!"

"Ohohohoh...looks like you did inherit your dad's hotbloodedness~" Yang said with a giggle. "Let's go sign up then~"  
"Where is it, anyway?" Blake inquired, scratching her head.

Ruby pointed with a shaking finger in one particular direction. "There! It's the big stall where everyone's lining up!"

Team RWBY turned to see a large stall, a large sign labelled "FEAST OF THE COCKEREL TOURNAMENT", where people were lining up- everyone from team JNPR, Ren included, team CFVY, Norn, to team SSSN and even team CRDL. Even the rarely seen team MLDY were around, with their leader Melodia, known for her unique fighting style involving footwork and yoyos, squeeing at the chance to fight against Ruby again, and her partner Fionn sighing and shaking his head at it.

At the front was Professor Port, laughing uproariously, signing in two girls- one clad in blue, with short, brown hair and a pair of guns at her waist, and the other in typical ninja garb, with bright red hair and a bust to rival Yang's- into the festival roster.

Team RWBY approached him, their leader waving at him happily.

"Ah!" Port clasped his hands together. "Miss Rose! To what do I offer the pleasure today?"

"We'd like to sign up, professor!" Ruby responded happily. "We wanna fight too!"  
"And we and Weiss here have to settle a bet." Yang placed her hands on her hips with a confident smirk.

"Very well then, Miss Xiao Long!" Port laughed, writing down the names of team RWBY into the pad at his table. "I must say, you realise your mother and father are attending?"  
"What?!" Yang and Ruby stared at him. "...MOM AND DAD?!"

"And yours too, Misses Schnee and Belladonna."

Weiss' eyes quickly darted about, instinctively looking for her father Siegfried- similarly for Blake.

"Ahah." Port smiled. "So, you'll do your best to fight, huh?"  
"Damn straight." Yang smiled readily.

"I'll have to prove I can stomp Xiao Long!" Weiss declared. "To FINALLY settle this stupid argument!" Yang yelled, bending down to shove her face in front of Weiss'. "Bring it!"

Weiss stared her straight in the eyes. "I. _Will_."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Sometimes, I think Weiss and Yang are more like girlfriends than Weiss' actual girlfriend..."

"S-shut up!" The heiress snapped. "I would _never_ go out with this perverted idiot!"  
"Besides, Blakey..." Yang smiled at Blake seductively. "...I want _you_."

The catgirl gulped, blushing.

"I-I...see..."

Port chuckled. "Now, now, girls, this is not the place for such lewd acts! Save it for the bedroom, eh?"

"P-Professor!" Weiss looked shocked at him.

Ruby, meanwhile, was ignoring the vaguely romantic interactions behind her.

"Hm...I wonder how _Norn_'s going to compete..." Ruby rubbed her chin. "I'm pretty sure she's just a household helper Persocom, right?"

"Ohohohohoh." Blake smirked. "Trust me, fairly recently, I made some updates to her hardware that should make her capable of battle- and remember, she's a ninja maid, after all."

"I wonder what _updates_ those are..." The reaper said, curious. Blake merely wagged her finger.

"You'll just have to wait and see, Ruby. Wait and see..."

Port looked at an old pocket watch, rubbing his moustache.

"My, my, look at the time! It's about time you got into the big tent!"

"The tent?" Weiss looked up to see that there was, indeed, a large tent behind Professor Port.

"The competitors will likely be gathering inside there already, team RWBY! I would advise you to get a move on!"

Yang looked around at her team. "Well, what're you doing, sitting around like a bunch of lemons?! Let's go!"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Weiss, Ruby, Blake and Yang lined up with the other competitors- varying from familiar faces in Beacon, to people hailing all the way from Mistral, Vacuo and Atlas- in the large tent, in front of a massive screen that had only the Beacon coat of arms on it. The rest of the competitors sat around the screen, where Glynda stood in the middle atop a podium, waiting for everyone to pay attention.

"Ahem!" The instructor drew a bullwhip and cracked it in the air to get everyone's attention- and judging by the various heads that snapped towards her that instant, it worked.

"Hm..." Glynda muttered under her breath. "It seems _one_ of Cinder's weird tricks does work." Shaking her head, she coiled the whip and hung it at her side, clearing her throat before pulling out a microphone.

"Welcome, one and all, to Beacon Academy." The instructor announced. "Today, I am honored to open the 74th Annual Feast of the Cockerel Tournament. As I am sure, you are all aware of the tradition from which this hallowed tournament has stemmed from, a tradition which Vale has honored for centuries upon end.

Today, we come together to honor the Great Bard, by feasting in his name and sharing stories, but also to show off the combat skills Hunters from all the four Kingdoms have honed. Visitors from all over the world have arrived to witness the Feast's tournament, so, I will end this opening with a simple 'do your best'!"

"Psst." Cardin whispered over to Yang over the din. "Yang."  
"Huh?"  
"You know that idol group, AKB0048?" The warrior inquired. "Yeah. 'Pparently they're playing the tournament too- came off their Japan tour just to come in. They want to give a good show."

"Seriously?" The brawler's eyes widened. "Maaan...I need to get a ticket to the show..."  
"It should be after today's matches over, so don't worry 'bout it."

"And now, to go over the rules." Glynda continued. "As some of you are newcomers to the festival's tournament, I will need to go over how the tournament is to be run.

There are four venues in which the tournament shall be run," The instructor announced, pointing to the screen above her, where images of the venues were displayed. "The Ruined City, the Desert Plains, the Field of Justice, and the Pillars of Balance.

The format of the tournament will be as follows- the first round will be a tag-team round- a random pair of two against another random pair, where one will be able to tag their partner in if needed. The next couple of rounds will be ordinary, one-on-one duels until the finals.

There are four ways to win a match- the opponent being disqualified, the enemy calling for surrender, total depletion of one fighter's Aura, or making the opponent exit the arena by _any_ means.

The teams for the first round will be as follows!"

The images on the screen were replaced by a large list of teams in a tier structure leading up to the finals. At once, chattering began to fill the tent.

Yang blinked. "Huh, I'm with Nora. Cool."  
Weiss rubbed her chin, nodding slowly. "So...Ren is my partner. This should be interesting."

"I'm with some guy called 'Chartre'." Blake stated quizzically. "He looks like a pansy..."  
"I'm with Jaune!" Ruby pumped her fist, cheering. "Sweet!"

"The first matches will be as follows." Glynda stared.

"On the Field of Justice, Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc against Maeve Arc and Cordelia du Vent!

In the Ruined City, Adam Taurus and Dove Bronzewing against Melanie Malachite and Otto Dracomorde!"

"What?!" Blake looked up in shock at hearing Adam's name, spying Adam's familiar Grimm mask next to his name. "He's here?!"

"Adam..." Weiss looked somewhat confused. "I wonder how he got in..."

Blake muttered quietly to herself. "Yes...I wonder why he's here..."  
"On the Pillars of Balance, Blake Belladonna and Chartre Alcole against Pyrrha Nikos and Aspasia Arc!

Finally, on the Desert Plains, Weiss Schnee and Lie Ren against Yang Xiao Long and Nora Valkyrie!"

Yang and Weiss immediately locked eyes, staring at each other.

"You ready to get wrecked, Weiss?"

"I believe you should be asking yourself that, Xiao Long." The heiress remarked. "I can't lose, anyway. I can easily beat someone like you, after all."  
"Let's see about that, eh?" The brawler retorted. "Let's do this."

"Please make your way to your venues immediately." Glynda ordered. "Everyone who is not competing in these matches, please make your way to the spectator stands, where you are free to watch your teammates fight."

Blake stood up, looking up at the chart again as everyone began to leave the tent.

Sure enough, underneath where Norn and Elsa were partnered, Adam was still there, seemingly glaring down at her.

The catgirl muttered under her breath. "...what are you doing here, Adam?"

* * *

_At the Desert Plains_...

The venue itself was outside the school, in a large purpose-built stadium of chrome and glass, with the stalls fully surrounding the arena itself, where, true to form, it was nothing but flat sand kept in by energy shields marking the border of the arena.

Weiss was standing atop a floating chrome platform over the plain, hand on Myrtenaster, and watching her opposite number check Ember Celica's load, flexing her fingers and readying herself for battle.

In the crowd, Siegfried and Freya Schnee sat, waving at Weiss, along with Elsa and a tall, white-haired woman Weiss recognized.

'_Winter?'_

It was her indeed her biological sister Winter- currently on break from her fourth year assignment with the 101st Huntress Squadron. An elegant girl, with long, white hair kept open and unbound, she had inherited her father's piercing grey eyes, standing in harsh contrast to Weiss' deep blue. She wore a glittering silver dress, standing out among the crowd like a beacon, and she was currently clapping with a small smile on her face for her sister.

Weiss sighed, gripping Myrtenaster tightly.

"Very well, now I have more reason to beat Yang." The heiress declared with resolve. "I have to prove myself."

"Alright, ladies and gents!" Cinder, the referee of the match, called out over the crowds. "It's about time to begin _the_ first match of the whole tournament!

On the left hand side, we have the Heartless Ice Heiress, Weiss Schnee, and the Enigmatic Cold Gunner, Liieeee Ren!"

Weiss glared at Cinder irritably. "I _resent_ being called 'heartless'...I bet Yang paid her in burritos to say that about me."

"And to your left, we have the Blazing Blonde Bombshell, Yang Xiao Long, and the Queen of Pancakes herself, Nora Valkyrie!"

Yang waved to everyone as they clapped. "Please! I'm here all day!"

Weiss stared at her in disbelief. "And SHE gets complimented? I smell bribery."

"And now that we've gotten ourselves acquainted with our combatants..." Cinder lifted herself out of the arena. "LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUMBLE!"

In the sky, a screen was lifted up by several rotors, showing a camera feed of Yang and Weiss to everyone in the area. A countdown from three ticked down.

"3! 2! 1! FIGHT!"

* * *

Weiss leapt elegantly off the platform, drawing Myrtenaster. Yang did the same, somersaulting and firing Ember Celica behind her, making a three-point landing in front of Weiss with a wink.

"Ready to play, Weiss?"

Weiss merely swapped her weapon's output to 'ice'.

"I suppose I am, Yang." Weiss flipped her hair, readying her sword. "I suppose I _am._"

Yang smiled briefly, before throwing a punch at Weiss with a yell.

"Haaaaaah!"

Ember Celica collided with a raised Myrtenaster, sending a resounding _CLANG_ throughout the arena. Weiss deftly moved the rapier underneath her arm, pointing it at Yang's chest, preparing to fire, but Yang was prepared. With a swift kick, the heiress' arm was jolted by the brawler's knee, before she twisted around and kicked Weiss in the chest, shoving her back and forcing her to plant her sword in the ground to stop her from flying back further, leaving a cloud of sand where she'd skidded.

"A painful strike, to be sure!" Cinder called. "But will she survive that one?"

"Heh." Weiss wiped her mouth to remove the sand that had flown in her face, watching Yang approach her with an unflinching walk. "Good one, Yang."  
"I'm just getting started." The brawler responded, cocking Ember Celica and pausing for dramatic effect, before pointing one gauntlet behind her and firing, launching at Weiss with the other fist drawn back to hit her as hard as she could. Weiss spawned a pair of glyphs underneath her, sliding away just in time to dodge the impact, which left a fist-shaped crater where Yang had struck.

Weiss immediately whipped her sword around, hurling several blasts of blue Dust at Yang, who ducked to avoid them, ignoring the pillars of ice that had formed behind her. She kicked off the ground, launching herself at the heiress and attempting to slam into her with as much force as possible. The heiress, in response, somersaulted into the air, avoiding the tackle and landing in a crouching position, turning around only to be slugged in the face and sent backwards by Yang's fist.

"Oof!" The heiress landed, shaking her head to get rid of the pain. She grabbed Myrtenaster, which had clattered away from her hand in the mess, and looked over at Yang, who was by now running straight at her.

"HAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Not on my watch!" Weiss stabbed the ground, causing a line of ice spikes to emanate from the spot and fly towards Yang, until a large column opened up from the ice, throwing Yang off of her path and hurling her to the side.

The heiress took advantage of the situation, managing to regain her balance, to get out of Ember Celica's range and ready for her next attack-

That was, if she wasn't punched again by Yang, who leapt at her and grabbed her. Weiss cried out in surprise, but it was already too late- the brawler lifted her up and punched her repeatedly, yelling.

"Eat! This! Weiss!" She roared, punctuating every word with a blow. Weiss, biting her lip to ignore the blows, shifted her arm and slashed her with Myrtenaster, forcing her back and making her drop Weiss to the floor.

"Agh!"

"I'm going to end this now!" The heiress yelled, before spawning a black glyph underneath her opponent, making her float upwards helplessly.

"Dammit!" Yang struggled, but now Weiss had the advantage. Pointing her sword at Yang, she sprinted into the air upon small glyphs and slashed at Yang repeatedly, using deft and agile strikes to dodge Yang's retaliatory blows, before stepping above her, pointing her rapier down.

"Looks like it's all over now." Weiss remarked. "HAAAAH!"

She plunged the blade into Yang, pushing her down into the plain below and covering her in a billowing cloud of sand, before somersaulting back onto the ground, sheathing Myrtenaster.

"So, Xiao Long..." The heiress flipped her hair again, looking into the cloud. "Still cocky now, huh?"

No response from the cloud.

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Don't tell me I beat you so easily. I thought you said you were too _awesome_ to lose."

Still no response. Weiss was getting worried.

"...Xiao L-"  
"RAAAAAHHHH!" Suddenly, Weiss was thrown backwards by a shot from Ember Celica with a grunt, as she curled up and clutched her stomach. Yang strolled out of the cloud, her hair and eyes glowing red, cocking her shotgun-gauntlets, a determined smirk on her face.

"Like I said, Weiss. I'm only just getting started." The brawler adjusted her gauntlet. "Now, let's begin the REAL fight!"

Cinder gasped in surprise. "My...it seems the tables have turned! Will the Ice Heiress still have a chance to win against the Blonde Bombshell, now that her Semblance is in play?"

Weiss blinked, looking up at her and widening her eyes, before she rolled out of the way of a boulder that was flying at her.

"What the-" The heiress was cut off as she realised that Yang was kicking boulders up from the ground, before kicking them at her as a ranged weapon.

"Damn it!" Weiss jumped back, looking for an angle to hit her from.

'_Yang's too powerful for me to do anything now...' _Weiss mentally noted, checking the Dust magazines in Myrtenaster. _'...what do I do...think, think! Gah, what would Ruby do?_

_She'd do something stupid! Something unexpected! Something out of the box...wait...out of the box! That's it! Beat Yang by ring out! That's the only way I'm going to win this fight..._

_Very well then...let's do it._' Weiss smiled with renewed determination, before looking around to see if there was a convenient border to ring Yang out with.

To her left, the leftmost border was present.

'_Perfect.'_

Yang charged at her, roaring.

"LET'S END THIS!" With that, she unleashed a barrage of punches at Weiss, which the heiress managed to dodge with equal speed. This, however, only made Yang grow angrier.

"STAY! STILL! SO! I! CAN! HIT! YOU!"

"Not on your life!" Weiss leapt over Yang with a flip, placing Yang between her and the border. The brawler whirled around, drawing her fist back to smash Weiss down, just as Weiss placed down a column of ice.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

An explosion ensued as her fist collided with the column, and the billowing cloud filled the entire arena and the feed.

* * *

Siegfried stood up, staring into the arena. "Weiss!"

Freya grasped his shoulder. "Honey, sit down! You're going to make a scene!"  
"I..." He sighed, looking down and obliging. "I...I'm sorry. I just thought...she might be hurt."  
"She's a big girl." The idol sighed, smiling. "Weiss can handle herself. You know that about our daughter more than anyone."  
"I hope she's alright." Winter chimed in. "I'm really rooting for her to win this one."

"We'll just have to wait for the dust to clear..." Siegfried muttered, looking hopefully into the cloud.

After several tense moments, the dust cleared.

Weiss was on her knees, panting heavily and grasping Myrtenaster. The ice column lay shattered in front of her. Yang, meanwhile, was ready for more, breathing heavily, but still glowing red...

...but her leg was crossing the border. Cinder raised her hand to interrupt the fight.

"What a turn of events! Yang Xiao Long has been eliminated from the competition by ring-out!"

"...oh _come on_!" Yang cried, dropping her pose. "Seriously?!"

Weiss winked. "Just as planned."

"...d-damn you...Weiss..."

Siegfried, meanwhile, cheered from the audience. "Yes! That's it, Weiss! Nothing less!"

"Never fear!" Suddenly, Nora tapped Yang's shoulder and tagged herself in. Unleashing Magnhild's hammer form, the berserker smiled cheerily at the exhausted Weiss.

"You're just going to have to lose now. Sorry!"

"Oh, Dust help me." Weiss sighed, trying to pull herself up but being unable to.

'_I-I'm...doomed..._'

"...no. You aren't. Not yet."

"Huh?" Weiss felt a hand on her shoulder, tagging her out.

* * *

Ren smiled at her as he tagged her out, drawing StormFlower.

"Not about to leave you out to dry, Weiss." The gunslinger helped her up, patting her on the back and lightly pushing her out. "Leave it to me."

"Awww...Renny!" Nora cooed. "That's sweet of you! Now it's just you and me, huh?"

Ren nodded, watching Weiss limp off the arena, where Yang took her back to the bench to recuperate.

"Yes, Nora. Yes it is." He smirked. "Don't expect me to hold back just because you're my girlfriend, though.

I have to win this."  
"And why's that?" Nora hefted her hammer behind her back, grinning.

"Let's just say there's someone I owe a lot to. Someone who, if I'm honest, I wouldn't be around without." The gunslinger cocked his pistols. "But enough talk."

Nora grinned, before saying the next line in unison.

"Let's fight!"

"My, my!" Cinder commented. "What a change of events! The lovers are now fighting each other! This should be an interesting match!"

Nora and Ren stared at each other for a moment, studying the other for a while. For a moment, the atmosphere in the arena seemed tense.

The spell broke, however, when Nora whirled Magnhild into grenade launcher mode, firing at Ren indiscriminately.

"YAAAAAHOOOOO!"

Ren jumped and ducked to avoid the explosions, firing back with StormFlower to force Nora to dodge herself and reposition. The berserker, however, was prepared, and with a deft movement of the hand, she pointed Magnhild behind her, launching herself upwards and at Ren, before shifting it into hammer mode and rolling towards him.

"SUPER WHIRLY-BURLY BALL OF ADORABLE DEATH!"

Ren, however, was even more prepared.

With an even louder _CLANG_ than Weiss and Yang's earlier clash, the blades of StormFlower met Magnhild's head, as the gunslinger held Nora in that position, locking eyes with her.

"Heh..." Nora smiled. "You're stronger than the last time we trained, Renny~"  
"I work out." With a deft push, Ren forced Nora back off of him, adjusting his pose to fire as many bullets at her as possible. The berserker immediately spun to deflect them, releasing laughter all the way.

"Wahahahahahahaha!"

Ren immediately reloaded his guns, watching Nora's moves carefully.

'_I'm gonna need to think this through._' The gunslinger thought carefully. _'She's a lot harder to hit than I thought, but if I can just get in, I can use my Semblance to finish this fight easily._'

"FOR THE PANCAKE GODS! GEODUDE, I CHOOSE YOU!"

"Huh-" The gunslinger only had time to look up before a large boulder hit him in the face, launched by Nora's hammer.

Cinder cringed, looking slightly worried. "Oooh! That _had_ to hurt! Will the Enigmatic Gunman take the hit? Or will the Queen of the Castle claim the day?"

"Ow..." Ren pulled himself up, the boulder having lobbed itself several meters in front of him. He shook his head, dusting his clothes off.

"...I should've expected that one, I guess..." He then saw Nora running at him, hammer in hand.

"COME OOOOOOON REEEEEEEEEEEN!"

'_I see my opportunity!'_ Ren thought, pocketing one half of StormFlower, leaving his hand bare for his Semblance.

"I'm sorry, Renny!" Nora called. "But I HAVE to win this for the pancake gods! You'll understand, right? You won't withhold cuddles like a meanie_, right_?!"

"No." Ren smirked. "But I am going to win this."

As Nora made contact and swung Magnhild at him, the gunslinger took his opportunity.

He swept underneath Nora's arm, before activating his Semblance.

His bare palm began coursing with Aura, glowing white. Ren slammed it into Nora's side, throwing her off.

"Waah!" The berserker's hammer was thrown out of her hands, leaving her unarmed and disorientated. Ren saw his chance to finish the job.

Pocketing the other half of StormFlower, he unleashed a barrage of glowing Aura-charged palm strikes at Nora- the one area where Nora had never been able to best him at was hand-to-hand combat, where his Semblance was god.

With one final powerful strike, Ren slammed his palm into her chest, sending her flying back and skidding into the sand.

"I...love...pancaaaakes...urgh..." Nora's eyes shut and she fell into unconsciousness, her Aura depleted.

"Sorry, Nora." Ren apologised as he brushed off his palms. "I'll make you some pancakes later, I promise."

"Lie Ren has won by knockout! Nora Valkyrie has been eliminated from the competiton!

Weiss' team has won the first match!" Cinder announced proudly. "A round of applause, please!"

And the stadium obliged.

* * *

Siegfried, from the crowd, cheered over the din.

"YES! EXACTLY AS EXPECTED! I KNEW YOU WOULD WIN!" The man roared. "YOU ARE TRULY WORTHY OF BEING CALLED MANLY!"  
Freya giggled. "I doubt our daughter wants to be _manly_, dear."

Cinder drew both Ren and Weiss into the arena, lifting their arms into the air.

"Let's have it for our first winners!"

"Nicely done, Weiss." Ren nodded at her. "I'm proud of you."

"You too." Weiss smiled back. "Glad to have you as a partner."

"So. I guess this means we'll be fighting each other later, eh?"  
"It does. May the best Hunter win." Weiss stated.

They both knew it wasn't over yet. It was just the first match, and there were many more to go.

Ren, Weiss, and the other spectators were then allowed to watch the other matches.

Ruby and Jaune had advanced, as had Blake and Pyrrha, along with Adam and Melanie. Aspasia, Chartre, Dove and Otto had been taken out in the first round by their opponents, along with Maeve and Cordelia.

'_Truly_,' Weiss thought. _'It's only just begun._'

...

_Later, at the first AKB0048 show..._

"And please welcome...Chieri Sono!" The MC roared over the crowd's cheering, as the blue-haired idol stepped on stage, waving at everyone, with the background of the setting Vale sun, as the last of the day's matches ended and everyone piled in to see her and her group perform.

"This is awesome!" Ruby cheered. "And take a look at the program for the next couple of nights! Risette, Inori...oh my Dust, they got _Kalafina_ to perform." The reaper squeed. "This is gonna be great!"  
"Speak for yourself..." Yang sighed, defeated. "I just want to go hide myself right now..."  
"I told you, don't get cocky, Yang." Weiss stated, smirking. "I warned you."

"...I feel so pathetic..."

Blake nodded. "I'm still wondering what Adam's doing here. It's just not like him to show up like this."  
"Just get over it, Blake." Weiss said, shrugging. "Even _he_ has to enjoy the Feast, right?"  
"I suppose...but I just have a feeling..." The catgirl looked at the crowd suspiciously.

"...and I sense that something unmanly is going to happen..."

Siegfried suddenly wrapped his daughter in a bear hug.

"Weiss! Congratulations!"  
"Ahh! Father!" The heiress yelped. "D-don't do that!"

"Hah, but I'm just happy to see you! Congratulations on your victory!"

And so, the night went on.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: I hope these fight scenes did justice to his legacy. I will promptly slap myself if it does not.**

**This'll be a longer arc- about four or five chapters more. I had to compress Weiss and Ren's fights into one chapter to keep the pacing without problems- this'll be the longest chapter in the arc.**

**Next fight, Norn versus Velvet. Yes, the two ensemble darkhorses of the fic. This had to happen.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, suggestions, reviews, criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next t-**

**STINGER**

* * *

"Heh." Adam scoffed as he saw Weiss enjoying herself in the crowd, talking to her friends and father.

"...so...that's the target, huh?"  
"Indeed." The man he was speaking on the phone with gave him an affirmative answer.

"So," The Faunus looked around. "Why do you want her gone?"  
"I have my reasons.?"  
"I... Fine." Adam sighed. "I can take her out now. Do you want me to?  
"No! Save her for me. I have plans for her.

For now, you are to spy upon her and tell me what her weaknesses are, and where she is most vulnerable."  
"Tch. How dishonorable."

"I have my reasons."

"...fine." Adam looked at his phone. "...but let it be known, this disgusts me."

"And yet you do it anyway."  
"You drive a hard bargain." Adam stated.

"Indeed," The Faunus repeated, shaking his head. "Siegmund Schnee, you drive a hard bargain."

* * *

**END**


	39. The Cockerel Festival, Part 2!

**The Cockerel Festival, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for the second day of the Cockerel Festival, with the fight you might have been waiting for, Norn versus Velvet. **

**It might be a little soon for disclaimer jokes, though. We'll see. I'll place one in to see if it's fine with you guys. I'd also like to announce that we have received permission to do ****UhhICanExplain****'s fic Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist- that will, of course, be after the Shadow of Fire, Agents of Beacon and ****The Layman's ****other fics are covered.**

**So, without further ado...let us begin the second chapter of the arc.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY will never be my property, otherwise we'd have team RWBY in bunny suits playing J-pop.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Early in the morning..._

"Are these modifications to my hardware entirely necessary, Miss Belladonna?" Norn inquired with a flat face, sitting calmly with her pain sensors turned off as Blake adjusted some of the _upgrades_ she had made to Norn.

"Relax, you'll be fine." Blake shook her off. "You're not a full Persocom anyway- you're part...whatever Aigis and Labrys are supposed to be. And I MAY have robbed part of Penny's blueprints to give you Aura potential- granted, I never managed to get around to that before the Life Dust incident, but..."

"I see." The Persocom nodded slowly, her eyes glowing slightly as Blake downloaded a new program into her operating system.

"Wait...what is the..._Silver Crow Protocol_?"

"You'll see." The catgirl wiped her sweaty face with a towel, rolling Norn's wires back up into her head ports and closing her laptop. Sighing, Blake stood up, rubbing her hands together.

"Modifications complete. You're free to stand up."

The robot maid did so, reaching behind her own back to do up the back of her uniform with several deft movements and a well-made knot.

As she did so, she gave a barely-perceptible sigh. Blake's cat ears twitched, and she tilted her head curiously.

"Norn?"  
"Miss Belladonna," Norn said in her typical flat tone, without turning to face her. "I calculate I have a thirty-to-forty percent chance of succeeding in this next fight. The best course of action would be to forfeit the fight-"  
"Norn," Blake interrupted her, walking in front of her to look her in the eyes. "Are you scared?"

"I...no data available." The Persocom looked away slightly, clasping her hands together.

Blake chuckled. "You'll do fine. Trust me."

"The probability calculations state-"

"As Team Dai-Gurren once said, even if it's zero-point-zero-zero-zero-zero-one percent, it's still above zero." The catgirl reassured her. "I made you, you're a badass ninja maid, that's all that matters."  
"I...see." Norn nodded once, her mouth curling slightly into a smile. "Thank you, Miss Bella-"  
"Call me Blake. I feel old being called 'miss'."

"...sorry, Miss Bel-Blake."

"There we go." Blake said with a chuckle, before donning her triangle shades and pointing to the ceiling.

"Now, let's show those dusty-eared idiots just _HOW TEAM ANTIC ROLLS!_"

_Later, in CFVY dorm..._

Velvet opened her eyes, having finished praying to O-Yuno-Sama for her yandere blessings.

"Ah..." The bunnygirl sighed happily, kissing a picture of Weiss. "...just perfect. Perfect, perfect, PERFECT!

We HAVE to win next match!" Velvet declared with determination. "I can't lose. I have to impress Weiss-sempai!

This'll be the best day EVER!"

Vivi, who was sitting on the shrine to Weiss that Velvet hung on the wall next to her bed, stood there with her arms crossed and shaking her head.

"Pipipi. Pipi pi piiii."  
"I just think that this is it! This is the day we've been waiting for! The day I finally get Weiss-sempai!"  
"Pi?" Vivi lifted one of her stuffed eyebrows. "Pi pi pii."  
"D-don't doubt me, meanie!" Velvet pouted, offended."

"Pipipi..." Vivi chuckled, leaping up and hugging Velvet's ears comfortingly. "Pi pipi pipiiii."  
"I know you're kidding, I know." The bunnygirl smiled, patting the plushie lightly.

"Hey." Yatsuhashi poked his head in through the dorm door. "Velvet, you ready to go up to the tent? They're going to call the next matches in ten minutes. Hurry up.

Fox brought you some breakfast down there- some breakfast muffins and orange juice."  
"Y-yes Yatsuhashi!" Velvet nodded hurriedly. The swordsman blinked at her briefly, before closing the door with a sigh.

Velvet stared at her picture of Weiss again, sighing dreamily.

"Don't worry...this fight's for you, Weiss-sempai."

"Pipipi!" Vivi jumped happily, patting her rabbit ears. "Pipipi!"  
"Thanks, Vivi." The bunnygirl smiled. "I'll do my best.

Not just for Weiss-sempai...but for you too."

"PIII!"

Velvet patted a small, orange box, which unfolded into her axe Grimmbane, comfortingly.

"And together, we're going to be UNSTOPPABLE!" The bunnygirl declared, giggling insanely all the way.

* * *

_Later, in the Tournament Tent..._

The screen stared down at the remaining competitors on the second day, as eliminated spectators and competitors alike sat down together. Glynda stood in front of the screen as usual, adjusting her microphone and waiting for the din to subside.

On the screen, the top three competitors of yesterday were shown. Weiss and Ren occupied the top two spots, while Adam took third place, with replays of each competitor's victory being cycled through as the names appeared.

Ruby hugged Weiss tightly, chomping on breakfast cookies while doing so.

"Congratulations!" Ruby declared through a mouthful of biscuits. "Weiss, you're the best!"

"Heh. It wasn't that hard to beat Yang." Weiss stated smugly, smiling at Yang, who glared at her.

"I-I demand a rematch, Weiss! One on one! I'll beat you easily! I-I wasn't ready, that's all!"  
"Just accept it, Yang," Blake calmly stated, drinking a thermos of chocolate milk. "You got beaten by Weiss after talking smack to her. It's fine!"

"Cheater..." The brawler crossed her arms, pouting. "S-stupid cheater..."

"Good morning, competitors!" Glynda announced over the din, silencing the crowd, team RWBY included.

"Guys!" Ruby pointed up at Glynda." Shush!"  
"...okay, okay..." Yang sighed, still pouting childishly. "I still say Weiss cheated..."

Clearing her throat, the instructor looked over the crowd to ensure nobody was speaking, before continuing to speak herself.

"Welcome to the Second Day of the Feast of the Cockerel Tournament. Yesterday was an incredible, excellent day of battling, with Hunters from all four Kingdoms showing off what they have.

The best competitors of yesterday were, in order, Weiss Schnee, Lie Ren, and Adam Taurus! A round of applause for magnificent fighting from all three of them!"

Ruby whispered over to Blake. "Psst...how do they decide the best fighters?"  
"They have a panel of three judges." Blake responded with a whisper. "From what I can tell, the judges this year are Professor Torchwick, General Ironwood and...I think the last one was either Tohru, Miss Lupin or an unknown judge, to keep it neutral.

Because we all know that Cinder would vote for Yang, Port and Oobleck would vote for Beacon..."

"Why Torchwick, then?"  
"He's salty enough to make an unbiased, if sarcastic, decision."  
"Fair enough."

"However, competitors, the tournament is still continuing." Glynda continued, gesturing to the screen as the tier list reappeared with everyone's names on it.

"We are now in the second round of eliminations, and today will be one-on-one duels. The first matches today will be as follows!

On the Desert Plains, Jaune Arc versus Neptune Vasilias! In the Ruined City, Sun Wukong versus Lukas Rasmussen!

Upon the Pillars of Balance, Penny Polendina versus Winter Schnee!

And finally, on the Field of Justice, Norn...err, Norn Belladonna versus Velvet Scarlatina!"

"Belladonna, Blake?" Yang looked over at the catgirl.

"Well, I am technically her mother." Blake shrugged. "And she needed a last name to enter the competition. Hence, Norn Belladonna."

"I'm sure your dad might be surprised to learn he has a new daughter." Weiss remarked drily.

Blake raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Was yours surprised when you brought Elsa home?"  
"Touché, Belladonna. Touché."

"Competitors! Make your way to the venue now!" Glynda announced. "Spectators, make your way on the venue transports!

Let the matches commence!"

Norn got up to leave, dusting off her maid uniform, but she was stopped by Velvet, who smiled sweetly at her.

"I WILL win this!" Velvet declared, giggling insanely. "A-and Weiss-sempai will _love_ me..."

Norn merely stared at her, allowing her to rant.

"S-so, d-don't count on winning! I-I have my love for Weiss-sempai!" Velvet pumped her fist. "A-and she'll love me and w-we'll have seventeen and a half children together!"

"Interesting." Norn spoke.

Velvet raised an eyebrow.

"You define your probability of victory as one hundred, Miss Scarlatina." Norn stated matter-of-factly, without a hint of emotion. "Yet, even with the purported boost that strong feelings will give you, you have only at best a forty-seven percent chance of victory."

Velvet twitched.

"The outcome is not decided yet." Norn adjusted her dress. "I would not attempt to predict the outcome until you have sufficient data to do so."

As the Persocom turned to stroll away, Velvet could've sworn she saw a little smirk form on Norn's face.

* * *

_At the Field of Justice..._

The arena, in contrast to its sister arena the Desert Plain, was planted with billowing long grasses and clipped short grasses, with small fans in the sides angled towards the grasses to give the impression that they were blowing dramatically in the wind and create a sufficiently epic atmosphere.

The commentator and referee for this match was Professor Tukson, arms folded with scroll and microphone in hand, his white _gi_ baring his mighty arms and musculature.

Floating below him were Norn and Velvet, facing each other, with Velvet muttering a quick prayer to O-Yuno-sama, while Norn's eyes flashed, as she ran several calculations at blinding speed to check all of her systems were ready.

Weiss rested happily in Ruby's arms, watching the pre-fight preparations on the large floating screen, while both girls shared a box of popcorn. Meanwhile, Yang and Blake were talking to each other, exchanging Lien.

"So, you're betting on Norn, eh?" Yang looked over at her partner.  
"Of course. I made her." Blake stated proudly. "No way Velvet would beat her, even if she's got the ensemble darkhorse thing on her side."  
"All my money's on Velvet."

"If Velvet loses, you're buying us all dinner tonight." The catgirl stated. Yang smirked.

"Deal!"

"It's settled then." Blake extended her hand. "By the way, Ren, Melanie, Sun and Melodia bet Norn. Only Nora and Fionn bet Velvet."

"Well, then you'll be eating crow when we're done then, won't you?" Yang retorted mischievously.

"We'll just see about that."

"RIGHT!" Tukson boomed into his microphone, making his voice heard over the din. "TODAY, WE ARE TO EXPERIENCE A BATTLE WORTHY OF THE WAY OF THE SPIRAL!

ARE OUR COMPETITORS READY TO BATTLE?!"

"Affirmative." Norn drew two kunai from her uniform, wielding one in reverse grip.

Those kunai were named Verthandi and Skuld, forged elegantly from the best metal parts Blake could find. Verthandi was blue and white, while Skuld was red and black, creating a contrast between the paired kunai. Attached to their hilts was a pair of chains, allowing her to swing the kunai around at range and strike around enemy defences.

Overall, the perfect weapon for the calculating Norn.

Velvet merely unpacked her box, unveiling her large, serrated, Grimm-slaying axe and slamming it into the ground at her side. She gave Norn a manic smile.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you too much, as long as you lose so I can impress Weiss-sempai, okay?"

Norn merely lifted Verthandi to protect her face, not even flinching.

"When you are ready, Miss Scarlatina."

'_Wow...'_ Velvet mentally cursed herself. _'I can't shake her...I'll just have to beat her the old-fashioned yandere way! By beating her to a pulp!_'

"EXCELLENT!" Tukson whipped out a flag, raising it in the sky. "ON THE COUNT OF THREE!

ONE! TWO! THREE!"

LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!"

He grabbed a large hunting horn from behind him and blew it, signalling the beginning of the match.

* * *

Velvet ran at Norn, yelling while hefting her large axe behind her.

"FOR WEISS-SEMPAI!"

Norn merely readied herself, bracing herself for an attack. The bunnygirl jumped up, raising her axe over her head and looking down at the Persocom, readying herself to slam it into her.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The axe smashed...into the ground Norn had just been standing on. The robot maid stood up, having rolled out of the way from the strike. She briefly studied the cleft in the ground formed by Grimmbane.

Velvet wrenched the axe out of the ground and turned around, swinging it at Norn, who ducked and allowed it to skim over her light frame, before standing up quickly and somersaulting backwards to gain some range on her.

The bunnygirl grinned insanely.

"What's the matter? Scared?"

Norn responded by curling Skuld's chain around her wrist and hurling it at Velvet with a deft movement. Only Grimmbane's massive head managed to stop it dead as she recalled it, clutching the hilt of Skuld in her hand.

"I see." Norn uttered. "So that's another use for her weapons-"

Velvet then charged at her, screaming.

"I WILL HAVE WEISS-SEMPAAAAI!" With intense zeal, the girl swung the axe with blinding speed- so blinding that no other Hunter could avoid them.

They were not aware of just how fast Norn's 'reflexes' were.

With blinding quick calculations, the Persocom managed to dodge all of the axe strikes with deft movements, attempting to locate a particular weak point she could exploit and strike at.

Tukson clapped into the microphone with uproarious laughter. "A true fight, it seems, is going on here! A clash of styles between the obsessed stalker and the ninja maid! Who shall prevail?"

"WAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" Velvet laughed maniacally, her mad flailing finally leaving her leg exposed.

Norn saw her chance. With a quick flick of the wrist, she hurled Verthandi's chain around Velvet's ankle, allowing her to pull Velvet off balance and forcing her to open up.

'_Now is my chance._' Norn thought to herself, nodding, before pulling herself towards Velvet using the chain, kicking her square in the chest, before using the force as a springboard, unwrapping Verthandi from her leg and coiling the chain up again for reuse in mid-somersault.

"Oof!" The bunnygirl slid backwards, using her axe to steady herself to stop sliding. She wiped her mouth, glaring at Norn.

"So, that's what you're good at?" Velvet wiped her mouth to remove a blade of grass before staring over at Norn.

"I have been equipped with an adaptive battle routine." Norn announced, sweeping her hair. "Designed specifically to develop itself against all threats."

Velvet blinked, before shaking her head. "That was such complete technobabble I don't know if that's even true or not. I'll still beat you, though- after all, I _am_ the ensemble darkhorse of the fic!"

Norn merely made a small sound, before readying herself for combat again.

Velvet smiled insanely at her opposite number, before charging at Norn again, roaring loudly. Norn prepared to dodge the attack just as she had dodged the other, before-

"FEINT!"

"Hu-" The Persocom hardly had time to react before being thrown into the air by a massive shockwave from the ground, realising that the shockwave had emanated from Velvet's axe slamming itself into the ground.

Norn was helpless in the air, somewhat unfortunately, but Velvet was not. With a leap, the bunnygirl fired down at the ground to propel herself upwards and into a flip with the axe to slam into her.

The robot maid stood her ground. She could feel the shockwave's effects wearing off to let her fall down, allowing to fight back slightly more effectively.

Velvet swung Grimmbane down at her, hoping to hit her, only to meet a single kunai from the maid, before getting it pushed and flipping herself in the air back to solid ground. The bunnygirl landed shortly after, leaving another cleft in the arena with the large blade.

"Where aaaaare yo-oof!" Velvet was interrupted as she was slashed by Norn from behind, sending the former into stumbling forwards- the slash didn't do too much damage at all.

"Okay then! If you're going to be difficult about me impressing Weiss-sempai, then I will be difficult too!" The girl declared, turning to her opposite number. "Come on, Norn! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

With that cry, Velvet ran at her opponent with her axe, hefting it high and forcing it down-  
"No."

Suddenly, a loud _CLANG _filled the arena, as Grimmbane was blocked by Verthandi and Skuld, with Norn struggling to hold against the weight of Grimmbane.

For a moment, both girls locked eyes, determination burning in each of theirs, as Tukson looked on proudly.

"And now, here is a test of manhood, a test of strength! Who shall prevail in this struggle of wills?"

Velvet growled, before jumping off of from the engagement and backing off of Norn, watching her carefully-

-and just as quickly, her next move involved a manuoevre that Norn did not anticipate- a forceful sidewards chop.

This time, she was unable to take the attack.

The attack slammed into her side, throwing her aside and causing her Aura to flash around her as it attempted to soften her impact. Norn was thrown across the grass, tearing her uniform and sending her tumbling dangerously close to the border. She could vaguely hear Tukson call attention to her, but her hearing sensors were jarred by the force of the blow and needed moments to reboot.

The robot pulled herself up, shaking her head and checking her aura supply briefly-

_Sixty percent Aura remaining._

Norn's expression hardened slightly as she pulled herself up, before rolling to avoid Velvet's second charge, lagging behind as she did.

_'My systems were damaged by the attack,' _the maid noted. _'Greater care must be taken._'

"So, Norn," Velvet said sweetly. "You can surrender, if you'd like. I don't really want to hurt you."

Norn merely stared at her, sliding Verthandi and Skuld into her hands again.

"The output of my pain sensors are none of your concern, Miss Scarlatina."

"Okay! I'll just have to end it for Weiss-sempai, then!" The bunnygirl concluded, before descending into crazed giggling and hefting her axe.

"SUPER DUPER ADORABLE BUNNY BEATING OF DOOM!"

Pointing her axe at the ground and firing a round behind her, Velvet lifted into the air with blinding speed, before flying at Norn, who stared up.

_'No time for evasive manoeuvres. Time to test out Miss Belladonna's new upgrade._'

"Silver Crow Protocol, activate."

Before Velvet could react, Grimmbane smashed into the ground where Norn was barely seconds ago.

"Huh?" The bunnygirl's ears twitched as she looked up.

"What the..."

"Wings, activate."

Norn was in the air, kunai in her hands, staring down at her, with a pair of mechanical wings extruding from her back, the light of the sun glinting off of them. The wings were of elegant make, the 'feathers' made from sleek, hexagonal pieces of metal, with two small Dust-powered thrusters providing more lift.

_Wing Attachments at ninety-six percent power._

Tukson could only look on in shock.

"I-It seems that one of our combatants has wings! Ladies and gentlemen, this may be a first in the history of the Tournament!"

Blake smirked. "Damn straight it is. Go get her, Norn."

Ruby stood up next to her, shaking pom-poms around. "Go Norn go! Go Norn go!"  
"Ruby!" Weiss snapped. "Quit being silly!"

"S-sorry!"

Meanwhile, in the arena, Norn flew upwards, skimming the barrier of the arena with her wings, as Velvet, with more insane giggling, clenched the hilt of her axe.

"Very well! You're not the ONLY one who can fly!"

The bunnygirl decided to follow her into the skies, by pointing several blasts of Grimmbane towards the ground, flying at her with a squeal and her large axe trailing behind her.

"I'M COOOOMING FOR YOU!" Velvet stated, riding upon her blast-propelled weapon to strike at her opponent before slashing at her, using the force of the blast to propel the axe through her defences. Norn shifted aside, the axe skimming her wings' feathers, before stabbing at her with Skuld, forcing Velvet to flinch back at the pain.

"Urgh! JUST LET ME WIN SO I CAN IMPRESS WEISS-SEMPAI" The bunnygirl screeched, before slashing furiously at her opponent. Norn was equal to the task, however, and strike for strike, axe-head met kunai-blade as both girls danced in the air within a flurry of metal.

The last strike was punctuated with a kick as Velvet attempted to throw her opponent off, but it was met with Norn's own shin, pushing both girls away from each other and forcing Velvet back down to the ground, staring at Norn in the air.

"You can't stay up there forever, Norn!" Velvet complained. "You'll run out of energy anyway!"

_Wing Attachments at forty percent power._

_'What_?_' _Norn was, for once, surprised. _'...Miss Belladonna, it seems power efficiency was not your first thought when installing this hardware..._

_I'll have to end this quickly. And I know how to now. If my calculations are correct..._'

Flying up, Norn gained altitude, flying higher and higher to the very top of the arena, where any further flight would serve as a ring-out.

Velvet's head could be seen tilting, wondering what Norn was planning.

"Wing thrusters, full power, reverse." Norn uttered, and the thrusters reversed to point upwards, forcing her down. She aimed her foot at Velvet, gathering speed and thus force.

The bunnygirl's eyes widened in fear as it dawned upon her just what Norn was doing.

"WHAT?!"

"I apologise, Miss Scarlatina." Norn uttered softly before her foot made contact with Velvet.

An explosion blossomed from the point of contact, a cloud of dust covering the combatants entirely and a shockwave shaking the grass around them

* * *

"It seems...the combatants have collided together in a massive explosion." Tukson read out, before he saw the smoke being slowly blown aside. "And it seems we have a survivor!"

Norn somersaulted out from the cloud of smoke, her uniform smoking and destroyed in areas, her wing upgrades falling off from her back. She landed with a worrying stumble, her systems further damaged by the force of the impact.

_Thirty percent Aura remaining. Moderate damage to servos. Wing upgrades destroyed. Retreat advised._

The Persocom ignored the warnings in her head, shaking her head and looking into the smoke covering Velvet entirely.

She adjusted her uniform, crossing Verthandi and Skuld across her body to block a potential shot of Dust.

The fans in the sides of the arena slowly blew the smoke away, and Norn tilted her head as a similarly tattered-looking Velvet stood, bowing her head and clasping her hands together in the middle of the crater, seemingly praying. Tukson looked over at her from his platform.

"It seems that Velvet is beginning to pray." The man smiled, realising what was going on. "It seems we are about to witness another first, ladies and gentlemen!"

Weiss, in the audience, stared at the girl.

"What is she doing?!"

Blake blinked, shaking her head.

"Ohohohoh...I think I know."

"Wha-oh _no._" The heiress facepalmed, sighing irritably. "And when I thought I'd get away with the antics this time..."

Yang giggled teasingly. "Oh, Weiss, you poor thing! You should know antics will always follow you~"

Velvet's head snapped up, staring directly at her opponent. She began to intone calmly.

"_I am the stalker of my crush."_

Norn's eyes actually widened as she realised what was going on.

_'A...Reality Marble?_'

Velvet continued praying, invoking great magical power to fight her enemy.

"_Set is my mind, and taken is my heart._

_Have created over a thousand traps._

_Unknown to my love, nor known by my rivals._

_Have withstood pain to love a distant heiress._

_Yet these hands will never hug Weiss-sempai._

_So, as I pray..."_ She opened her hands and a glow enveloped the stadium itself.

A wave of energy washed over the stadium, turning the sky orange, with distant gears grinding in the skies above, replacing the whole arena with a field of effigies of Weiss, nets, sacks and Weiss shrines, with large knives and axes planted into the ground around the two combatants.

This, in effect, was Velvet's obsession made manifest, her mindscape made material.

_"**UNLIMITED YANDERE WORKS."**_

Norn stepped back as several massive, bloodied knives sunk themselves in front of her. Velvet rose up, sticking the heavily damaged Grimmbane behind her and smiling sweetly at her, despite her heavy breathing.

"You aren't... the only one with tricks up their sleeves, dear Norn~

This is my ...Reality Marble..." The bunnygirl explained cheerily, picking up a random Weiss doll and hugging it to her chest. "My love for Weiss-sempai! You get to see ...ALL OF IT."

Norn hefted Verthandi to defend herself, her arm sparking from damage incurred during the fall.

"Y-you...will not win, Miss Scarlatina." The robot maid said with a raised tone, stumbling again before regaining her composure. "I w-will not allow it."

"Dear, you're just not in Vale anymore." Velvet wagged her finger teasingly. "You're in ...my realm now. And guess who'll win in my-"

She was interrupted by Skuld slashing across her side, further depleting her Aura and making her stumble back, as she watched the knife clatter to the floor, its chain disconnected. The bunnygirl shook her head, before drawing two massive knives from the ground, slashing one's blade against the other.

Velvet wiped her face, her eyes burning with determination.

"FOR! WEISS! SEMPAAAAAI!"

She charged at Norn, slashing at her manically. Norn carefully parried it with Verthandi, drawing a knife from the ground to parry the other knife underneath. The bunnygirl attempted to follow it with a decapitating strike, only for

Once more, the girls locked themselves into a deadly dance of metal, manic slash meeting calculated parry blow for blow.

"You will never understand the love I have for Weiss-sempai! It is PURE!" Velvet yelled as she struck at Norn, who batted them aside with her own knives.

"I can understand it perfectly." Norn responded coolly, dodging under another knife strike. "However, I must win. Not only for myself, but for Blake.

And I must apologise, but it means you must _lose._"

Velvet shook her head before screaming and hurling all of her strength into one final strike.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

She feinted, faking a blow at Norn's head, which the Persocom instinctively countered with Verthandi. However, she used her other knife to stab into Norn's torso, giggling insanely.

"...!"  
The force was enough to stop Norn dead, before sending her stumbling back, looking at the blade as it clattered to the floor, its job done. Her Aura flickered around her, beginning to fail from so much stress. Norn looked up at Velvet, who breathed heavily as she watched her opponent flounder.

_Ten percent Aura remaining. Torso damage sustained- category, heavy. Major servo damage. Retreat heavily recommended._

"N-no..." The robot maid shook her head. "...n-not...yet..."  
"See? I told you I'd..."

"F-For...BLAKE!"

With the last of her strength, Norn hefted an axe from the ground, before hurling it at Velvet.

The latter was too exhausted to dodge. The die was cast.

* * *

The axe struck Velvet in the shoulder, bouncing off, but her Aura had had all it could take and failed entirely. As the Reality Marble faded around them, restoring the arena to normal, Velvet collapsed to her knees, smiling slowly.

"...I...I hope I...did a great job...Weiss-sempai...I...love you..."

She slumped to the ground and fell unconscious, breathing slowly, getting her well-deserved rest. Norn watched it happen, herself on her own knees, her servos no longer capable of keeping her up for much longer.

Tukson blew the hunting horn to announce the end of the match, before roaring into his microphone.

"Velvet Scarlatina has lost by total knock-out! Norn Belladonna is the winner!"

"YES!" Blake cheered, pumping her fist as the stadium exploded into applause. "I CALLED IT!"  
"DAMMIT VELVS!" Yang cried, whimpering as she slowly fished out the Lien she owed Blake. "...dammit..."

"And now you know why you don't bet against me, Yang~"  
"S-screw your stupid Persocom!"

Weiss sighed, shaking her head.

"You did good, Velvet. You did good."

Norn's hand was lifted up by Tukson to congratulate her on her victory. She could only watch as everyone cheered her name, but she focused only on one person.

Blake, who merely donned her triangle shades and gave her a thumbs up.

_'...thank you...Blake.'_

The other matches flashed onto the screen, as Winter triumphed over Penny- another close match, but Winter had managed to sever Penny's blades before she could hit her, Jaune beat Neptune in a surprising darkhorse victory, and Lukas beat Sun by a ring-out victory.

All in all, a good day.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's that. Back to the plot- next chapter, Blake versus Adam.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, suggestions, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**

**oh and customary stinger.**

* * *

_Later, during the Risette concert..._

As the idol Risette's voice filled the fields of the tournament, Adam sighed on his phone, standing on a balcony far away from the celebrations.

"Siegmund, I have some news for you."  
Siegmund shifted on the other side of the call, growling deeply into the phone, akin to a dragon's breathing. "Do tell, Taurus. Is Weiss well-protected?"  
"Very." Adam nodded. "Her father is present, as is her mother and sister. Not to mention her team."  
"Siegfried..." Siegmund growled again. "...forget him. I can deal with my son.

And what of the combat gynoids that that Polendina traitor made and the one constructed by the Faunus?"  
Adam flinched at the disdainful tone used for the word 'Faunus', but he obliged.

"Penny is out of the competition. Her weapons are broken, and will likely need to be repaired. Norn also sustained heavy damage during her fight with Velvet." Adam recounted. "Most likely, they will be easily slipped past or countered."

"Excellent." Siegmund stated smugly. "Continue your surveillance. You will be rewarded greatly at the end of this.

You are a credit to your race."

The call went dead. Adam breathed heavily before crushing the phone in his hand, discarding it and throwing it over the railing.

"If I didn't need you, _Schnee_, I would kill you myself."

* * *

**END**


	40. The Cockerel Festival, Part 3!

**The Cockerel Festival, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! We're back with an early-release chapter- Blake versus Adam! The original plan was to have this as a single feature chapter, but then I realised I won't be getting the Valentine's chapter out on time- and of course, unlike the Christmas chapter, I have no excuse nor desire to fail this deadline. Also, because I realised this would be better for plot pacing. So, Weiss versus Winter will be delegated to a oneshot with Penny versus Winter and Melodia versus Ruby after the tournament arc is over, in order to preserve pacing.**

**Now that that's settled, let the battle begin!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Ruby would have a penguin costume.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Team RWBY gathered inside the tournament tent for the third day of the Cockerel Festival. Weiss was fiddling with her tiara, while Ruby was leaning into her, munching on a cookie. Yang anxiously waiting for something, twiddling her thumbs, while Blake was busy chugging protein shakes to get ready for her fight.

As usual, the large screen showing all the tiers of the tournament displayed the best fighters of yesterday's battles, as Glynda adjusted the microphone, waiting for order and decorum to return to her tent.

In order, the fighters were Winter Schnee, Ruby Rose and Norn Belladonna, with replays of their matches against Penny, Neptune and Velvet showing up after each name respectively.

Blake looked closer at Winter, squinting. "That is a LOT of dust. Of both kinds. I can barely see her!"  
"I know. Apparently barely anyone could see her during the fight, too." Weiss noted, trying to pick out Winter's dress between the flying bits of Dust, dust and Penny's swords.

"Hey, Yang, what's wrong?" Ruby nudged her sister, who was fiddling with her cellphone for a moment.

"Huh? O-oh...just waiting for a messag-"

Her phone vibrated. Yang quickly opened it up, looking at the message.

* * *

_From: TacticianChan_

_jc joined in, tell zelretch-sensei and ushio-chan_

* * *

"YES!" Yang pumped her fist. Ruby tilted her head.

"Huh? What's going on?"  
"Nothing, nothing." Yang sighed, shaking her head. "Just...something with the Antic Order."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You're obsessed with the Antic Order, you moron..."

"It's practically my life, dear Weiss~" Yang said mischievously. "Now, where were we about Winter?"  
"Apparently nobody has seen her properly except me." Weiss stated, still suspicious about Yang's intentions, but leaving them for later. "All the smoke and dust in battle, apparently, keeps her from being seen."  
"Yeah! I've heard the rumour that Winter's the hottest person in all of Beacon, but, of course, since she's always on missions with the 101st, nobody can prove that." Yang sighed, before shaking her head and grinning.

"But don't worry, we all know who the _real_ miss Fanservice on campus is~ I'm just too hot for people to handle~"

The heiress blinked. "Not sure you should be so proud of that."

Blake wiped her mouth, having chugged her last protein shake. "Yeah! I'm pumped! Let's do this! Let's DO THIS!"

"How many of those did you _drink_?!" Ruby stared at her.

"Fifteen." Blake stated calmly. "I'm hoping to fight Adam today."  
"Oh yeah..." Yang nodded, remembering. "...you want to know why Adam's here. I'm curious, too. He doesn't seem the type to celebrate the Cockerel Festival."

"That's why I'm suspicious." Blake clarified, nodding in assent. "There has to be something behind this, and I'm going to find out in that fight."

Ruby tugged at Yang. "Hey! There's a huge crowd over there!"

"Huh?" The brawler turned around to see a huge crowd, indeed gathering around something or someone. She stood up, with the rest of team RWBY following suit, to see what was going on.

"Okay, okay, excuse me, pardon me!" Yang managed to clear a path, edging her way through the crowd to see what was going on.

"...hang on, hang o-" Yang stopped. Weiss, the second person to move in front of her, stopped too.

* * *

In the middle of the crowd sat Winter, dressed in a snow-patterned blue yukata, her white hair in a typical _hime_ cut, sitting serenely and drinking tea. Yang stared at her pristine, ivory skin and her sharp grey eyes, and noted that her yukata, whether by purpose or accident, seemed to fit her body very well- accentuating her curvaceous body, a perfect mix of lean curves and muscle from years of Hunting, and being especially tight around the chest are.

To be exact, her chest seemed to be just large enough for her yukata to hold. It seemed to wobble ever-so-slightly as she breathed in, her eyes closed, before taking in another sip of tea.

Yang's eyelid twitched.

"S-she's BIGGER than me?! HOW?!"

Weiss seemed to be in a stormier mood than she was. "I had to grow up with her around."

"...s-she's so..." One boy next to them fainted, sighing Winter's name out in his unconsciousness. Another couple of girls had spontaneous nosebleeds staring at her.

Blake wolf-whistled. "I didn't think your sister was _hot_, Weiss."  
"ARE YOU IMPLYING I'M NOT"  
"You're cute. She's...sexy. There's a difference." Blake reminded her with a raised finger. "After all, Moe, Manliness and Fanservice are the three cosmic forces that hold the world together!"

Yang crossed her arms, grumbling. "S-stupid Winter...I-It's not like I-I find her...h-hot, o-or anything..."

"A bit _tsuntsun_ there, are we not?" Weiss said with a smug sense of satisfaction. Yang blanched, realising what she had done. She collapsed to her knees.

"DAMN YOU EEEEELF!"

Weiss approached her sister, sighing. "Hey, Winter."  
"Oh. Dear sister, hello." Winter opened her eyes, smiling sweetly at her- Weiss could hear more fanboys and fangirls faint behind her. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"  
"Oh, nothing," Weiss responded, a slight smirk on her face as she parsed Yang's dismayed expression behind her. "But do you see what's going on around you?"  
Winter looked around, blinking. "Huh? People seem to have nosebleeds. And a couple of people have fainted.

Is there something wrong?"  
_'Dammit. As usual, my sister is entirely OBLIVIOUS to her own attractiveness._' Weiss sighed, instinctively looking down at her own chest in irritation as she realised that Winter, somehow, had _grown_ in the months she was away with the 101st.

Blake whistled again, trying to stop herself from drooling. "And she's the oblivious kind of Miss Fanservice too. "

Yang pouted. "Y-you too, Blakey..."

"Heh. No, nothing." Weiss sighed. "So, Winter, you excited for the fights today?"

"Of course. It's been a while since I got the chance to spar properly with anyone not in the 101st wing. As fun as Nellia is to spar with, I've been dying for one here."

Weiss nodded. "May the best Huntress win."  
"Definitely."

Glynda cleared her throat over the microphone, giving the signal for everyone to sit down. Everyone obliged- even Yang, who ended up huddling herself to get over the fact that someone in Beacon had more fanservice than she did, and not at all because she found Winter attractive or anything.

"Good morning, competitors!" Glynda announced. "And welcome to the Third Day of the Cockerel Festival!

Yesterday was a day of unexpected triumph and impressive battles. A round of congratulations is in order for such excellent battle!

The best fighters of yesterday's fights were, in order, Winter Schnee, Ruby Rose and Norn Belladonna! A round of applause for them all."

As the audience exploded in adulation, Glynda paused briefly, catching her breath. Weiss casually flicked a pebble at Dove, who was ogling her sister, causing him to clutch his forehead in pain.

"Stupid perverts..." Weiss grumbled. Winter didn't seem to notice.

"However, the Tournament is still in session, and with that, so is the chance to achieve honor in battle! Now, the stakes are higher, as these are now the quarter finals. Tomorrow, the semi-finals will be upon us, and on the fifth day, the victor of the tournament shall be decided!

Now, to announce the first battles of today! Upon the Desert Plains, Jaune Arc versus Lucina Arc! On the Field of Justice, Ruby Rose versus Melodia Viridi!

Within the Ruined City, Weiss Schnee versus Winter Schnee! And finally, upon the Pillars of Balance, Blake Belladonna versus Adam Taurus!"

Blake looked up, her eyes suddenly hardening. Her hand clenched into a fist.

"Now...now I get to figure out what's going on here. I'll try to interrogate him during the fight."

Yang nodded, finally recovering from her slump. "Good luck, kitten. You'll need it."  
Weiss sighed. "I might as well wish you luck, too. I'm not so sure that he's really up to something, but...good luck figuring it out."  
Blake nodded. "I know there's something off here, and I don't like it."

"So, all of the competitors, make your way to the arenas, and I shall wish you all good luck upon the field of battle!" Glynda announced proudly.

Winter stood up, smiling at Weiss as she stood up to go to the arena. She extended her hand to Weiss.

"May the best Huntress win."

Weiss shook her hand. "Indeed."

Elsewhere in the crowd, Melodia's loud squeeing at getting to fight Ruby properly for the first time in forever could be heard.

* * *

_At the Pillars of Balance..._

As usual, the arena was packed full with people- Yang was in the audience, in nothing but a tight tank top and short shorts, possibly to compensate for Winter, holding up a large sign saying 'GO BLAKE GO'.

The arena itself was different from the Plain and Field- rather than a flat, level field to fight in, the Pillars, true to their name, were large, stone pillars- resembling those found in the ruins of castles and temples- jutting out from some point underground and extending to somewhat above the ground. The stadium around it was higher to compensate, with the lowest level at the same level with the pillars. Fog surrounded the pillars below, masking a safety platform for competitors to use as a boost onto the fight- but it was discouraged, due to how easy it was to be taken down with a technique from above.

Blake checked her ammo in Gambol Shroud's magazine before sheathing her weapon, adjusting her bow and staring at Adam, trying to determine what was off with him.

'_Just...what are you doing here?_'

Adam himself was simply standing calmly upon his platform, hand on hilt, his Grimm mask hiding his expression. He stared back at Blake, drumming his fingers rhythmically on his ninjato's hilt.

Blake could've sworn his very glare was infused with hatred. He was definitely a far cry from the Adam from before- the wimpy, non-badass Adam she once knew.

The commentator for this match was Beth Lupin- Beacon's caretaker and perennial opponent of Yang and Blake's antics-, who sighed as she waited for the 'go' signal to start the match- in the form of a small green light on the control pad of her platform. When that turned green, Beth cleared her throat.

"I do NOT get paid enough for this..." The caretaker muttered, shaking her head as she stared at Adam suspiciously, before sighing.. "So, on one side, we have Blake Belladonna, and on the other, Adam Taurus.

Let's be really honest, you're not here to listen to my commentary, you're here to see a fight. So, without further ado...let the fight begin!

3! 2! 1!"

And the fight began in earnest.

* * *

Adam leaped off the platform, landing perfectly on a pillar, his hand still on his hilt. Blake followed suit, somersaulting into the air and making a three point landing on a pillar opposite him.

Their eyes met for a brief moment. Adam paused, before smirking.

"So...Belladonna." The swordsman said tauntingly. "How are the humans treating you?"  
"How did you even get in here, Adam?" Blake stared at him unwaveringly.

"I have friends in high places."  
Blake dismissed that. "What do you want here?"  
"I have my reasons for being here." Adam responded coolly. "You don't need to know."

Blake paused for a moment, thinking carefully about her next couple of words.

'_This...is a serious accusation...but...I believe I know why he's here.'_  
"It's about Weiss, isn't it?"

Adam's cool expression faded for but a mere second, but it was enough for the catgirl. She knew now why.

'_Weiss? What would...what would Adam want with Weiss? '_

"It's no business of yours as to why I'm here." The boy scowled. "Let's get this over with, _traitor_."

"Gladly." The catgirl retorted, before leaping off of the pillar at Adam, Gambol Shroud at the ready. Adam obliged with a sneer, before leaping off himself.

Both competitors were about to collide in mid-air.

A loud _BANG_ filled the arena as Adam drew Wilt with the force of a gunshot behind it, thrusting it at Blake- only for Blake to parry it with the blade of Gambol Shroud. The force held them together in the air briefly, before the catgirl kicked off of him, pushing him down and herself away onto a pillar. Adam landed with a grunt, his sword still at the ready.

Adam wiped his mouth. "Heh. It seems you got better than I expected."  
"The same to you." Blake remarked, before launching herself at him again. Adam met her with equal gusto, preparing to slash at her. Blake, however, had different plans.

With a deft movement, a shadow clone took her place, parrying his strike. Adam easily cut through her as she faded away into smoke. He had only time to look confused before Blake struck him from behind with the grip of her gun, using the force to somersault off onto the air and onto a different pillar.

With a growl, the swordsman, rolled off onto the edge of another pillar, scowling. He leapt at Blake again, hoping to catch her off guard and succeeding.

"Rah!" He slashed at her, and Blake could only shadow out of the attack, watching it cleave the shadow and the rock underneath in half. He deftly thrust sideward to hit the catgirl, but Wilt was met with Gambol Shroud's blade, locking them together once more.

Blake glared at him as she pressed the blade against his. "What do you want with Weiss? I won't ask twice!"  
"Grrrraaaaagh!" Adam kicked her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her and forcing her to stumble off of the pillar. "Don't get in my way!"

Blake gasped for breath, managing to stab her weapon onto the side of the pillar and catch herself before she fell with one hand on the hilt, her breath leaving her again as she caught it.

'_Dammit...he's tough._' Blake thought to herself. _'But I'm TOUGHER._'

Adam, attempting an early finish to the fight, leapt off with Wilt, hoping to stab it into her. The catgirl hefted herself up and gripped with both hands, before swinging upwards and slamming her legs into his back, kicking him into a nearby pillar and sending him sliding onto the flat top, nearly throwing him onto the edge.

Carrying on her momentum, Blake yanked Gambol Shroud out of the pillar and swung towards an opposite column, landing carefully there. She studied her opponent, hoping he wouldn't get up.

Adam grumbled as he pulled himself up, stumbling slightly.

"That all you got?" He said, wobbling slightly from the pain.

"Shut up." Blake retorted, whipping Gambol Shroud out. "I'll end you."

* * *

The swordsman scoffed before whipping Blush out from his side and leaping into the air, with both weapons in each hand, and diving at her. Blake leapt away, leaving a shadow clone behind to parry his strike, before striking at him herself. Adam pointed the shotgun at her head, firing it- only to see that the Blake that had struck him was another clone. The real Blake attempted to stab at his side, only for him to parry the attack with ease.

He sighed. "Blake, when will you learn that those tricks don't work on me anymore?"  
"Then I'll just have to keep trying until they DO!" Blake fired Gambol Shroud at his head, only for him to parry it with Wilt, the bullet's halves falling apart in front of her eyes.

Both fighters engaged in a deadly clash of bullet and blade, every shell and bullet being met with a parry, and every strike and slash met with a clone or equivalent counter. The clash of blades produced literal sparks, and at last Wilt and Gambol Shroud's blades met each other again, with Blake and Adam staring at each other again.

"Adam, what are you playing at?" Blake uttered in a harsh whisper, pushing his blade away, to make sure she wasn't heard over the camera feed. "Why do you want Weiss?"

"None...of...your...business!" Adam roared before pushing Blake back into a stumble.

"Agh!"

"Now, to finish this fight!"

Before she could react, he ran her through with Wilt's blade. Blake's breath caught in her throat as the blade entered her chest, and she stopped dead.

"U-uh..."

"Gotcha."

Adam pulled the blade out, studying her suspiciously, before she slumped to the ground. He was still sceptical he'd actually managed to inflict a fatal wound on her- especially considering the competition had safeguards against that.

His belief was confirmed, as the clone fell over and began disintegrating, fading into smoke.

Blake leapt in from the side, kicking him in the head and pushing him aside.

"Caught you off guard!" She bounced off, doing a flip in the air to land on her feet. Adam slid across the pillar, shaking his head to regain his balance.

"It seems...you got better...at making shadows. You even convinced me for a second I'd actually killed you."

"Fat chance." Blake donned her triangle shades. "Just who the hell do you think I am?!"

"Fine." Adam scoffed, his thirst for battle overcoming his anger at her- and finally finding an enemy that was worthy of his new level of skill.

"I've been dying for a real fight. You're more likely to give me one if I give you something in return.

If you beat me, I'll tell you why I'm really here. A Faunus' honor."

"You're on." Blake smirked. She was up for a fight too.

* * *

Both combatants readied themselves for a second round, reinvigorated by their opposite number's skill in battle.

"Heh! You're going to need to do better than THAT to fight me, Blake!" Adam taunted her. "I've been training!"  
"So have I." Blake responded coolly, adjusting her triangle shades. "I don't believe in not fighting at your peak condition.

It's just not manly."

With that, the combatants leapt at each other once more, flying through the air with equal grace and brutality, slashing and thrusting at the other. Sword thrust met gunshot as Blake and Adam used the force of their clashes to manoeuvre through the air, attempting to force the other into an inferior position to slam them into a pillar for a final strike.

"Where's your Spiral Power now, huh?" Adam called, punctuating each word with a quick draw, laughing scornfully. "I don't see much of it here!"  
"A _real_ man always saves the best for LAST!" Blake yelled, before slamming his sword aside, opening him for an attack and rearing up. "NOW LET ME SEE YOU GRIT THOSE TEETH!"

Before he could respond, he punched Adam square in the face, hurling him aside into a line of pillars, causing them to collapse with the force of impact, leaving a trail of smoke and debris behind him.

Blake flipped onto another platform, twirling her weapon around her head. "Heh. Finished alread-"  
She had yet to finish her sentence before Adam leapt at her from the smoke, drawing his blade and slamming it into her.

The catgirl was thrown backwards just as far as she had sent him, skimming across the tops of pillars like a thrown pebble across a pond, finally coming to rest just at the border of the arena.

"Ugh..." She groaned, wiping her mouth, before rolling off and jumping onto another platform to avoid Adam's coup-de-grace, watching as his blade stabbed into the pillar's rock once more. He laughed, but it was not full of mirth- rather, it was full of lust for battle, and the joy of at last meeting someone capable of fighting him on equal ground.

"Yes, Blake!" Adam roared, ecstatically, for once alive in the middle of battle. "Now...NOW WE BEGIN THE REAL FIGHT!"  
"JUST WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR!" Blake yelled back before she leapt at him, hurling the scabbard of her weapon at the fold of his coat nearest the floor, pinning him down.  
"Ah?" The swordsman looked down, chuckling. "You miss-  
"I DON'T miss, Taurus!" The catgirl leapt at him, gun at the ready. Adam immediately discharged Wilt from Blush and drew Blush, pointing it at her and firing-

Only for his shot to fall off target as Blake smacked the gun's barrel to the side with her other hand, before pointing her own at him.

Adam responded with slamming the barrel of Blush into Gambol Shroud, attempting to fire into her head, only to be met with a counter-strike as the catgirl weaved underneath and pointed it at him, mere seconds before the trigger was pulled.

This time, both competitors engaged in a dance of guns, each one forcing the barrel of the other's gun away from them or dodging in order to avoid being where the gun would be. The speed was such that between them, it was only a flurry of red and black, their hands occasionally appearing to bat the other's gun away.

"Time to end our little game here!" Blake yelled, before a shadow of herself spawned behind him and exploded in fire Dust, surprising him into dropping his guard. Taking the opportunity, the catgirl pointed her gun at his head and fired before he could regain his composure.

The bullet did not pierce his Aura, but definitely damaged him quite a fair bit, as he was thrown back towards a different pillar, his coat torn where Gambol Shroud's scabbard had lodged it.

Blake picked up her scabbard and mounted it on her waist once more, strolling across to finish the job.

"Heh. You never _were_ good at gun kata." The catgirl remarked.

"And I don't need to be!" Adam retorted and pulled himself up, before grasping the hilt of Wilt and grabbing Blush, mounting it and sheathing Wilt to ready himself.

Then, breathing in, Adam triggered his own Semblance.

* * *

The aspects of a bull are well known. Ill-tempered, always ready for a fight, and altogether a terrible opponent to fight, lest one wished to be gored upon their horns.

Adam's Semblance exemplified his bull-like temperance, fitting him perfectly- in this case, it was very simple what his Semblance was.

Sheer, unrelenting, unstoppable force.

A normal draw from Adam could be parried even by the fairly fragile Myrtenaster with ease, as long as the wielder had time to prepare.

One boosted by his Semblance, on the other hand, was so forceful and quick, that nothing short of immensely powerful Semblances, like Null or Tukson's Ki Manipulation, powerful shields like Siegfried's Stahlkreuz or Crocea Mors, or powerful magic, like the fabled Avalon, could stop it.

It was this which met Blake. Blake instinctively began to parry, only to realise too late that the red blade of Wilt was covered with Adam's red Aura, signifying it was boosted with his Semblance.

It was a testament to the strength of Gambol Shroud- and Blake- that it did not break apart when meeting this force, instead being pushed aside as the ninjato collided with Blake's Aura.

She was sent flying, a flash of black Aura flaring with red at the point of impact, being hurled across the arena and once more being mere millimetres away from the border of the arena.

Adam scoffed, sheathing his blade once more.

"So, still not prepared for my Semblance? I'm not surprised." The boy laughed. "I hardly ever had to use it on anything, let alone you."

Blake groaned, slowly recovering from the force and pain of the impact, feeling her weakened Aura slowly form a shield around her form again.

She knew, instinctively, that Spiral Power or no, she could not take another such attack directly.

Adam sprinted at her, red Aura coursing around his hand as he prepared to finish Blake off.

"Raaaaaaaaggggh!"

Blake rolled up and leaped away, leaving a shadow clone to take the attack, managing to see exactly just what had happened.

The blade stabbed straight through Blake's clone, disintegrating it, and slammed into the pillar, shattering it entirely and filling the arena with dust and debris. Adam leapt up onto another pillar, sheathing his blade forcefully.

"Heh...good dodge." The swordsman smugly smirked. "But you and I both know you won't be able to take another hit from me.

"I don't need to." Blake responded coolly, before leaping away as he smashed the pillar she had just been standing on. Adam scowled, grunting and hefting Wilt over his head and attempted to strike at Blake.

A fire clone appeared in front of Blake to take the strike, exploding and throwing Adam back. He shook his head as he landed on solid ground to shake his focus back in.

"Clever use of those." He called. "You're still not going to win with those."  
"I'm not counting on doing so." The catgirl responded, before firing at Adam repeatedly. His Aura merely took the hits as he leapt at her once more, only to be met with a yellow lightning clone, sending a current through his blade and shocking him.

"Grah!" Adam winced, clutching Wilt tighter. "QUIT HIDING!"

"Never~" Blake smirked, before having yet another shadow clone take another hit for her, irritating him further.

He merely leapt onto a nearby pillar, breathing calmly.

"Is that so? Then let me _end this._"

The red markings throughout his body and weapons began glowing red as he grasped his blade tightly, charging up Aura to attack her.

Blake breathed in carefully, a small smile adorning her face.

'_Just as planned.'_

She merely stood confidently, waiting for him to hit her.

Adam stared at her with his glowing eye slits, his voice calm. "Now...Blake, you shall _wilt_."

Drawing his glowing red blade, Adam rushed at Blake, cutting straight through pillars in his way and leaving nothing but wilted rose petals behind.

He stabbed Wilt into Blake.

* * *

An explosion of Aura occurred at the point of impact, blinding the camera feed and the audience for a moment. Wilted rose petals gathered around them, swirling in a tornado around the combatants, as the audience stared in wonder at the spectacle.

When the light cleared, Adam assumed that Blake would be defeated, her Aura depleted and fading into rose petals. No creature had ever blocked this attack before, short of Siegfried Schnee- and he had only done it by nullifying it with his own Semblance.

He was wrong.

"W-what?!"

Instead, what he saw was a green, blazing flame spawning around her, Gambol Shroud covered in it- and blocking Wilt outright.

Blake smirked. Adam blanched, staring at her.

"W-what...impossible! That was supposed to be unstoppable!"  
"You need to know the nature of Spiral Energy, so open your dusty ears and listen up!" Blake roared, locking her blade with his. "With it, I can do the impossible! With it, I can break the unbreakable!

With it...I...can...PIERCE THE HEAVENS!"

Kicking Adam upwards, Blake hurled Gambol Shroud's scabbard and the gun itself at him, locking him onto a platform of Spiral Power.

"Gah! What...is this?!" The swordsman struggled, before realising what Blake had done and was about to do.

The catgirl pulled the ribbon from her weapon out, twirling it in the air to form a drill shape, as a drill manifested within, a handle for her to grip. Grasping it, it began spinning as she launched herself at Adam.

"GIGA! DRILL! BREAAAAAAK!" Blake roared, thrusting the drill into Adam.

"NOOOOOOO-"

An explosion of Aura surrounded them both once more, shattering most of the remaining pillars and shaking even the arena itself with power.

When the smoke and debris cleared, Blake landed with another three point landing, swishing the drill to her side, as Adam, defeated and with his Aura dangerously low, slumped to his knees behind her.

Blake turned to him, smirking.

"So...before you surrender. Tell me. Why are you here?"

"I...wanted to...challenge Weiss to a fight." Adam breathed out, exhausted. "...It seems...I'll have to save that for...another time."

Blake stared at him, realising there was something off.

She stepped back, letting Adam surrender.

Slowly, he discarded Wilt and Blush and raised both hands, signalling a surrender...only to slump, completely unconscious. His Aura was too low to do much else, really.

Beth raised her hand to signal victory.

"Adam Taurus has been knocked out! Blake Belladonna has won by knockout!"

As Beth hovered down to congratulate Blake on her victory, the audience exploded into applause.

Yang pumped her fist and jumped. "YEAH! GO BLAKEY! GO!"

Blake adjusted her shades.

"I've still got it."

The camera feed slowly shifted to the other fights after cutting from this fight, to show that Ruby had beaten Melodia by ring-out, Weiss had beaten Winter by surrender and Jaune had won against his sister by total knockout.

Blake basked in her victory, welcoming the crowds' adulation.

It was a good day for Blake. She finally had some dignity restored.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Wow, that one was awesome. Also, jealous Yang, finally out-sexy'd by someone- ironically, Weiss' sister. How do you feel?!**

**Next chapter, Ren versus Ruby. We're now more than halfway through the arc, so never fear! So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, thoughts, reviews, suggestions, criticisms and comments and-**

**STINGER**

* * *

_Later, at night..._

Adam scowled as he held the phone up to his ear, listening to Siegmund berate him.

"What do you MEAN you were defeated by that foolish Belladonna girl?!" Siegmund roared.

"I meant she wields power far greater than yours, _Schnee_." Adam said, bitterly. "Even you couldn't beat that."  
"She is only a _Faunus_. I can handle her. You have failed me, Taurus."  
Adam froze. "I..." He sighed, clenching his fist. "Give me another chance."

"...fine." Siegmund growled. "Be careful about it, you fool. They will suspect something, now that you are nothing more than a-"

The call was interrupted by the phone shorting out entirely, the shock forcing Adam to drop it. He looked up to see Blake, a button in her hands, glaring at him.

"I figured you'd lie to me about why you were really here." The catgirl scoffed. "So I had Isara and Sun build me a nifty listening device last night." She waved a small, handheld device with an antenna at him.

"I know all about your scheme, Adam, so come clean. Who is this _Schnee_ you're working with?"  
"And what are you going to do if I don't tell you?" Adam said threateningly, grasping Wilt carefully.

"That, I'm afraid, you will not be showing anyone, Mister Taurus."

Adam froze in fear as he realised who was behind Blake, his cane at the ready, a mug of coffee in his hand.

Professor Ozpin, headmaster of Beacon stared at Adam, and then to Blake.

"Schnee, you say? Siegmund Schnee?"

Blake froze, recognizing the name from Weiss' stories. "Siegmund? You mean...Weiss' grandfather?"

Adam growled. "And what would you know about him?"  
"I...believe I have _many_ things to say about him. As do many others." Ozpin stated calmly, staring straight at him.

Blake blinked. "Wait...you know Siegmund? But...I thought Weiss was taken away from him. And what is he doing out now?"  
Ozpin sighed.

"It is a long story, Miss Belladonna. As for yourself, Mister Taurus, you will need to come with me."  
"And why is that?"  
"Whatever he has on you, I can help you with. You will have to trust me." The headmaster implored. Adam contemplated his options, before sighing, putting his blade away.

"Fine. I will trust you, _human_. But do not expect me to like it."  
"In fact, Miss Belladonna, you had better come with me too." Ozpin requested.

Blake stared at him, confused. "Why?"

"If all you know about Siegmund Schnee is that he mistreated Weiss, I fear you do not know the full story.

You _must_ know. It is imperative you understand exactly _what_ kind of man he is."

* * *

**END**


	41. The Cockerel Festival, Part 4!

**The Cockerel Festival, Part 4!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, with the explosive conclusion to last time, it's all up in the air as to what is actually going on here. This will be a break between battles, a small dramatic chapter to break up the moments of awesome, a transition, since I felt that placing this just before an awesome battle would be too much of a mood whiplash.**

**Now, to begin the chapter before you people get tired of my ranting.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be twelve powerful Grimm named after the Eastern Zodiac or something (Gallus, Mus, Canis, etc.)**

**All mentioned characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Ozpin's office, early the morning of the Fourth Day..._

Blake sat adjacent to Adam, who was studying Ozpin intensely. Ozpin himself was calmly typing in something on his computer, sipping a cup of coffee and sighing.

The atmosphere was tense in the room. Rather justifiably, too.

Siegmund Schnee, it transpired, was back. An occurrence that even Ozpin had not predicted.

Blake sighed, shaking her head. "T-this doesn't make any sense. What did Siegmund _do_ that made you so...scared of him, Professor?"  
"As if you need any reason to fear him." Adam muttered under his breath. "He is an honorless coward, one who would threaten-"

"Adam Taurus." Ozpin announced clearly and calmly. "Son of Ariel Taurus and Leah Taurus- both deceased. Sister by the name of Eve Taurus.

You may well be a 'freedom fighter' fighting for freedom that has been long claimed, but that does not prevent you from having loved ones."

Adam tensed.

"If Siegmund has threatened your sister, I am willing to help you, but you have to cooperate with me, Mister Taurus." Ozpin clasped his hands together calmly. "You are not the first person he did this too."  
"He...threatened your sister?" Blake stared at him. "Wait, you have a sister?"  
"Nobody but you, him, and the human knows." Adam muttered angrily. "Are you happy now? You know my secrets."

"I have no intention of hurting her or you, Mister Taurus." Ozpin sighed, taking another drink from his mug. "I see not an enemy, but a person who needs assistance to leave his circumstances. We have a common goal- to protect the ones we are charged with protecting. Time is of the essence, and so I cannot say much else.

You may not see us as this now, but if we are to help you with this, you must trust me." The professor stared deeply at him. "So, will you trust me?"

Adam stared at him, growling. Ozpin held his calm, but stern expression, looking straight at him.

For a moment, as Blake studied Ozpin's expression, she was reminded not of a kindly, eccentric mentor, but of a far older, ancient warrior, his will to fight tempered by years upon years of endless battles, unintimidated by anything that would attempt to make him feel fear. This was not Ozpin the headmaster of Beacon, this was Ozpin, the Huntsman of old, feared throughout the Four Kingdoms and even amongst the Magus Association, the fighter of battles known and unknown, whose name was still whispered in hushed whispers though he had exchanged his battle armor for the robes of a scholar.

And in all her obsession with manliness, Blake realised that even her beloved Kamina paled in the calm fury Ozpin was hiding underneath the surface.

His will triumphed over Adam, whose expression softened as he looked away from the mentor.

"...fine...I will trust you."

"Good to hear, Mister Taurus." Ozpin gave him a satisfied smile, before turning to Blake. He picked up a remote, clicking it to see a small screen descend from the ceiling.

On it was a file labelled 'CLASSIFIED- S. Schnee Sr.'. Ozpin opened it, revealing to Blake a shot of Siegmund Schnee, dated from almost eleven years ago, standing in an unidentified, snowy landscape.

He had white hair, like his son and granddaughter, streaked with red stripes throughout. His face seemed rugged, with a flat nose that seemed to be breathing smoke and piercing grey eyes that seemed to stare into Blake's soul, that stood out from his ivory skin. His large beard formed a rim around his chin, granting him a seemingly large presence.

What stood out was his body- it was adorned with red and gold armor, resembling a dragon's scales- with his gauntlets adorned with golden claws, a black collar and pauldrons over his neck and shoulders, and a stylized dragon's head, replete with golden horns and onyx eyes, on his chest. He seemed to dominate his surroundings with his immense height and robust body.

Blake had the impression that she was not faced with a human, but with a tyrannical dragon in human form, watching over his domain with cruel intention.

"That was taken before the operation was run to take him down was approved." Ozpin stated calmly.

Blake raised an eyebrow. "An...operation?"  
"...Siegmund Schnee was not, by any means, a kind man." The headmaster clarified. "I fear I must go back, many, many years, to when myself and Glynda were in school, many years ago.

Drawing his breath, he began to retell his story.

* * *

"I was, as I am now, a good friend of Siegfried, whom you know as Weiss' father. I knew a lot of what happened within the Schnee _Kreuzelburg_, their ancestral home, as did Andreas and Alexander Arc, his best friends.

Before he came to Beacon, Siegfried led a miserable, miserable life. Siegmund demanded he associate only with trusted, 'pure' families- he wanted no Faunus or lowborn near his heir. Siegfried, thankfully, railed against it, despite the constant abuse- physical and emotional- that he suffered. It was with great joy Siegfried joined Beacon, finally leaving his father's influence, and I fear that was only the first of it.

He made easy friends with the Arcs- known Faunus sympathisers and nowhere near the nobles the Schnees were- mainly because of their personalities, as both were boisterous men, but also because of the desire to rebel- to make it clear to his father that he wanted nothing to do with him or his dynasty any more.

This only increased his anger, however, and I bore witness many times to Professor Merlin, the headmaster of the time, talking down Siegmund when he demanded that Siegfried leave the academy immediately. Many times, Siegmund tried to 'protect' his son from the influence of what he viewed as impure people, but he could not succeed. Eventually, when Siegfried began dating who would become his wife Freya, it came to a head.

Siegmund stormed the gates of Beacon itself, demanding his son return to him this instant. Thankfully, he was easily trumped by a classmate of mine showing up with her mecha- Ayase, I recall, was her name- and when Siegfried received notification that his share of the Schnee fortune had been given to him-the last gift of his late mother Sieglinde- and that his father would have no further contact with him, he was overjoyed. He was free of him."

Blake sighed. "But that wasn't the end of it, was it?"  
"No. It was not." Ozpin took a deep breath, before continuing.

"Many years passed, as Siegfried graduated without incident. He became an independently wealthy businessman, starting the Schnee Dust Corporation in its current form, with the fortune he had been left and around that time, many families began forming- it was around this time that Siegfried and Freya had their first daughter Winter.

Shortly afterwards, however, armed troopers with the Schnee insignia surrounded the winter home which the Schnees had housed themselves in, as Siegmund had decided that as 'payment' for Siegfried's betrayal, Winter would be his to raise 'properly'. Thankfully, he underestimated the skill of his son and daughter-in-law- and the loyalty of his men- and the incident was defused. Siegmund was charged and fined for this assault, but Siegfried was not satisfied with this. He didn't think his father would merely stop here, and indeed, he did not."

"W-what did he do?" The catgirl inquired, confused.

"His next atrocities were perpetrated around the time when Weiss was born."  
Adam piped up. "What did he do to...her?"

"...he used a court of law and bribery to wrench Weiss away from her father and mother." Ozpin stated, exhaling. "He tried to keep Weiss with him as much as possible- for most of the year, Siegmund had Weiss. That did not break him, though- he persevered, knowing that he would gather evidence to take her back.

So Siegmund did something else." Ozpin continued, sighing.

"You are aware that Cinder Fall, until two years ago, was part of the White Fang." The headmaster clarified. "...to cut a long story short, he used the recent passing of Summer- a good friend of Cinder's, and of course, most of us- to manipulate her into joining and taking over the White Fang, using her hatred to twist her into attempting to fight him."  
Blake and Adam stared at him. It seemed not even Adam had been aware of this information.

"Why...why would he do that?"

"To fund himself." Ozpin said as bluntly has he could. "He figured that if he could supply weapons to both sides- using a faked name and corporation, of course-, he would make a fortune to make up for his heirs abandoning him. Even if it involved working with the 'accursed' Faunus.

I suppose some of it was motivated by spite towards his son- to imagine his expression when he discovered that one of his dearest friends had turned to evil would have given him nothing but joy, to know that he had crushed his own son into despair. He would rub his victory in.

But that did not break him- not even losing his daughter and two of his closest friends broke him. No, the last straw was when Siegmund blackmailed his wife into leaving him and Vytal; he'd told her that Weiss would be safer if she did. She couldn't let her daughter be hurt.

Then, at last, Siegfried _broke_."

Blake stared at him, at last shocked. "What happened?"

"He simply...refused to do anything anymore. Refused to show up at conferences, locked himself away, let his second-in-command run the Company. Even his unshakeable will didn't hold out in the end, when he had lost so much.

His father had succeeded, and there was not a thing we could do about it- we couldn't prove he bribed the court to give him primary custody, and so we had to leave Weiss there, letting him do as he pleased.

That did not last for long.

One day, among the chatters in his household, he caught wind that Siegmund had hurt his daughter, hurt Weiss.

At that point, Siegfried had had enough. He couldn't allow it to happen anymore, he told me afterwards. He had steeled his resolve. He wasn't going to let him take anything else.

Immediately, he gathered myself, Glynda, the Arc brothers and several others- Qrow Rose, the Xiao Long family, and your father, Miss Belladonna- for an emergency meeting. He begged- _pleaded_\- that he be allowed to storm the ancestral Schnee home, in order to bring his daughter home. He wouldn't stand by and allow it, not anymore. At once, we agreed.

It served a dual purpose- now that we had evidence that Siegmund had hurt her, he could no longer keep her, and, I suppose, most of us just wanted to _hurt_ him, to make him pay for everything he had done- and to help an old friend protect his children.

We stormed the _Kreuzelburg_, one day in the middle of winter. Siegmund was, in his time, one of the most dangerous Hunters in all of Vytal, and even then was more than a match for us, and even the likes of the Arc brothers and Glynda, even _I_ was forced to retreat against him.

Siegfried, however, was driven by but one thing. He wanted his daughter back, and he would be damned if he let his father hurt her again.

The two fought like wild animals, destroying part of the castle in the process with fire and steel, but in the end, Siegfried was victorious.

We all shared his tears when he walked out, carrying and hugging his sleeping daughter to his chest, telling her it would be okay, that her father was back, that no one was going to hurt her anymore.

Siegmund was arrested and taken away, and we thought that was the end of that- especially when Freya finally returned to Vale during the Music Festival.

We thought that the Schnee family- and the rest of the world- was rid of him."

* * *

Ozpin sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"It wasn't, was it?" Blake stared at him. He shook his head, before standing up and slowly strolling over to the window as the sun rose over Beacon's buildings, casting its early light over the tournament grounds.

"No, it wasn't. I fear he's going to try for one last shot at revenge."

"Should I tell Weiss?" The catgirl raised her finger, but Ozpin shook his head.

"No. That would cause too much worry, too much chaos. Siegmund would be able to simply swoop in and take her easily amidst it all." Ozpin sighed.

"If you must, tell her when you and your team are alone. With the presence of Adam, I have no idea how else he might be surveying our communications, and I fear that he's not the only way he has of watching us." The headmaster clarified. "I need time to convene with the staff and any Huntsmen and Huntresses who were present at the storming of the _Kreuzelburg_.

In the meantime, Miss Belladonna, I advise you merely sit back and enjoy the Cockerel Festival." He smiled, slightly bitter.

"I can't just sit here and watch m-my friend be in danger!"  
"She will be in more if you warn her right this instant."

"He's right." Adam finally spoke up. "For all we know, Siegmund could be watching us right now. That _bastard_ has eyes everywhere, and I'll be damned if my sister gets hurt because of it.

If you need me to fight him, point me in the right direction." The Faunus boy declared. "Human or not, that bastard needs to go down before he hurts anyone else.

I suppose this'll be my _atonement_ of sorts- my payback, for everything I've done."

"And it shall be, Mister Taurus." Ozpin nodded. "You, too, enjoy the Cockerel Festival, for now. You are here as an honored guest, Mister Taurus, after all, and it would be rude of me not to extend that hospitality to you, especially now that you have pledged temporary allegiance."

He sighed, looking once more out of the window.

"After all, it may not be long before your chance to enjoy the Festival ends."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: And so, the true bastardry of Siegmund is revealed. **

**To clear the mood, next chapter will be Ren versus Ruby.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that chapter, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, reviews, comments and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	42. The Cockerel Festival, Part 4-1!

**The Cockerel Festival, Part 4.1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! The madness must continue, and the plot will carry on. It really **_**is**_** starting to get serious, what with the insane plot points and the exposition, so time to make things lighter with a little light fighting! As promised, Ren versus Ruby!**

**Oh, and a small shoutout to Ryulord111, who noticed a **_**serious**_** continuity error in the last chapter, which I have rectified- you're awesome, and keep on being awesome!**

**Having said that, let's do this. Time to do my job! EXCELSIOR!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Glynda would have a bullwhip as a weapon.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Morning of the Fourth Day..._

As always, the tent was packed to the seams with competitors and spectators- mainly spectators, now that it was down to the semi-finals. As usual, the screen was open above a patiently waiting Glynda, who was fiddling with her bullwhip.

The screen was presenting the remaining names of the last competitors- Ren, Ruby, Weiss and Blake. Most of the others had been eliminated in their second or third fights yesterday- a convention of the tournament was to wipe out as many as they possibly could until there were only four left for the semi-finals.

Ruby squeed happily. "This is going to be _awesome_! I hope I get to fight Weiss!"

Weiss chuckled. "Yes, well, I'm not going to take it easy on you because you're my girlfriend, Ruby. Remember that!"  
"Awww...you'd hurt poor little me?" Ruby stared at her with puppy-dog eyes and as cute a facial expression as she could muster. "...b-but why?"  
"Q-quit doing that, y-you idiot! Y-you look like an i-idiot..." Weiss crossed her arms, blushing and shaking her head.

Blake, meanwhile, calmly drank a protein shake, still remembering the events of this morning, and the revelations about Siegmund she had been informed about.

'_"If you must, tell her when you and your team are alone. "_

_"I can't just sit here and watch m-my friend be in danger!"_

_"She will be in more if you warn her right this instant."'_

"I can't tell her here..." Blake muttered under her breath, prompting Yang to turn to her, confused.

"What was that?"

"Huh?"  
"You said something, Blake, about you not being able to tell us something." Yang stated, tapping her chin with her finger.

"Oh, were you going to confess your love towards me~" The brawler teased her, winking, causing Blake to recoil, blushing.

"O-Of course not! D-don't be silly!"

"Not so _manly_ now, are we?" Yang crossed her arms confidently. "I suppose my sexiness is just too much~"  
"If I recall, Winter stole your sexiness spot." Weiss stated bluntly, as Yang glared at her, her own cheeks rouged.

"N-no! S-she's not sexy! I-I'm h-hotter than her, idiot!"

"And you say _I'm_ tsundere." Weiss giggled as Yang tightened her pout and crossed arms, enjoying the chance to finally get her own back on Yang's perverted antics.

Ruby sighed. "Yang, just get over it. Winter isn't _that_ sexy."  
"The sexy force has left me, Rubes!" Yang declared dramatically, sobbing into her sister's shoulder. "The sexy force has..._left me_..."

Weiss facepalmed. "I don't even want to _know _what the sexy force _is_."

Ren leaned in to offer his extensive knowledge in the art of antics.

"It's the manifest power of the Third Fundamental Force of Fanservice." He explained. "In this case, her fanservice quotient was beaten by Winter, therefore she is no longer the sexiest character here."  
"Ah. That still doesn't explain why she's so beat up about it..."

Weiss shrugged. "She DOES pride herself on her perversion and good looks. I guess she just can't handle that someone else is better looking than her."

Yang clenched her fist. A flame seemed to light up in her eyes, as her determination rekindled.

"Don't flatter her, Weiss." The brawler declared proudly, winking at her. "I WILL reclaim the sexy. No way am I losing to some oblivious Aoi wannabe in hotness! My theme song's _I Burn_, for Dust's sake!

_NOBODY_ will be hotter than me! Mark my words, _nobody _will! Wahahahahahaha!"

The heiress sighed once more.

"And Yang, as expected, has lost her mind because of these shenanigans. Ruby, do you mind making sure your sister doesn't run around in her underwear just to prove she's sexier?"  
"Will do!" Ruby saluted her.

Blake returned to contemplating her options while Yang resumed her ranting about sexiness.

'_...yes, that settles it. I'll tell them after the fights are over. I'll get them somewhere quiet._

_I need to warn them about Siegmund, but I need to make sure he doesn't know._'

The screen suddenly displayed the three best fighters of yesterday- in order, Weiss, Blake and Ruby.

Glynda adjusted her glasses and calmly cleared her throat over the microphone to get everyone's attention.

Only team RWBY snapped their heads towards her when she did so. Glynda repeated her action, louder and more deliberately. When they did not, she sighed.

"Very well then."  
She uncurled her bullwhip and cracked it into the microphone.

The resulting cacophonic noise got everyone's attention- and force some people to cover their ears in pain.

"Gah!" Weiss snapped, her hands planted firmly on her ears. "Morons! T-this is what happens when you don't listen!"

Glynda, satisfied with the attention she got, curled her bullwhip up and slung it on her waist again.

"Good morning, spirited competitors and spectators alike. Today is the fourth and penultimate day of the tournament!

Today are the semi-finals to the entire tournament! The remaining competitors represent not just the best fighters in the tournament, but the best fighters in all of the Four Kingdoms and beyond- given that many here have hailed from lands beyond Vytal..."

Somewhere behind them, Yang swore she heard the Puella Magi Kyoko yell "Damn _straight_ we did".

"The winners of today and the winner of tomorrow are at the pinnacle of fighting, examples of self-perfection and excellence we must ever adhere to!

Behind me is a list of the best fighters of yesterday. Tomorrow, the overall best fighter of the tournament- who may not be the final winner- will be presented with an appropriate prize and a trophy.

However, now is not the time to celebrate victory, not while victory has yet to be acquired. Now is the time, instead, to hold yourselves in bated breath for the next fights.

Today's battles will be in the Ruined City and the Desert Plain! Spectators, keep that in mind that there will be_ no _battles in the Field of Justice or the Pillars of Balance today. To compensate for the increased load, we will be allowing people to watch the battles from the empty stadiums and within this tent- please stay here if you are a spectator to be directed to the appropriate area." The instructor took in a deep breath, before continuing.

"Now, I shall announce the fighters for today!

In the Ruined City, Lie Ren versus Ruby Rose! Upon the Desert Plain, Weiss Schnee versus Blake Belladonna!

Fighters, make your way to the transports to the stadium so we may begin the fights immediately!"

Ren chuckled. "Well, it appears we will have to duel once more, Ruby."

Ruby smiled at him, extending her hand. "May the best Hunter win."

The gunslinger took her hand, shaking it firmly.

"May the best Hunter win indeed."

Weiss nodded at Blake. "It looks like I'll have to beat you, Blake. Manliness or no manliness."  
Blake scoffed, donning her triangle shades and putting aside all thoughts of Siegmund for now.

For now, the battle was upon them, and Blake didn't need a distraction.

"Heh. Just who the hell do you think I am?"

Weiss scoffed. "Badass quotes won't get you anywhere."

Glynda nodded, opening her microphone up for one last announcement.

"To the victor goes the prize, but to the fighters go the honor. Remember that though you may fail today, you will still have the pride of having participated in the tournament!

That having been said, go forth, try your best, and hope that tomorrow, it is you who gets to fight the final battle!"

* * *

_In the Ruined City Arena..._

The Ruined City was a far cry from the flat, level arenas of the Plain and Field, and yet different from the precarious, deadly Pillars- a balance between the two, so to speak.

The arena was centred around a burnt, desolate city square, with the grass in the middle dead and grey, and a broken pillar marking the exact middle. Surrounding the square were cracked asphalt roads, littered with pitted and cracked rubble for cover from projectiles.

Surrounding that were towering, blown out husks of concrete and steel bars, and fallen buildings, cracked over the ground, for flashy battles to take place in and absolutely destroy to produce aesthetically pleasing showers of debris and dust- of both kinds.

Of course, cameras were placed in just the right position to get good angles- as much as this was a demonstration of skill, this was also entertainment.

As usual, a giant floating screen hovered over the arena, with the feed switching between Ren and Ruby as they made preparations. The stadium was absolutely packed- the Xiao Long-Rose family, of Qrow, Taiyang, Yang and Yin, managed to get a seat at the top, where they could see Ruby. They were fairly far away, but Ruby could see that her dad was holding up a large sign saying 'GO RUBY', followed by a cartoon cookie giving her a thumbs up.

The reaper giggled at the sentiment.

"Dad.." She sighed, shaking her head.

Over the ruined square, the two combatants were on their respective starting platforms. Ren was calmly checking the ammo in StormFlower, nodding slowly as he deftly replaced the guns' cartridges, before holstering his weapons.

Ruby, meanwhile, merely patted Crescent Rose, which was folded at her waist, and pulled it into her hands, exhaling and whispering to it.

"Just you and me, Cress. You and me. We'll win this. I'm trusting you." Ruby whispered reassuringly, before checking her own Dust magazines.

The announcer for this match was a fairly displeased Roman Torchwick, sighing as he sipped a cup of Darjeeling tea and twirled his cane.

"Alright, kids, today's the semi-final." Roman called over the announcement system. "On the left, we have a guy who looks vaguely like that guy from the Matrix, and on the right, we have a weird goth loli with an obsession with flat-chested tsunderes."

"T-they're just so cute!" Ruby protested, blushing.

"Now that that's over with, are you two ready to get this on the road yet?" Roman looked down at the pair.

Ren nodded, dusting off his green shirt. "Whenever you are."

Ruby gave him a thumbs up. "All ready!"

"Good!" Roman sighed, adjusting his beloved bowler hat for a moment, before looking to the audience.

"Ladies and gents, are you ready to rumble?"

The audience exploded with various affirmative noises and expressions in every language imaginable. As much as Roman hated having to do the announcing, he absolutely _loved_ the response the audience gave him.

And he'd always wanted to say that.

The man chuckled, shaking his head before turning to the dashboard on his platform, the green light giving him the 'okay' to start the match. He nodded.

'_Now, to start this, get my pay, sit back and relax. Damn straight, too- I've been spending the whole week marking papers for Cinder..._'

"On the count of three, we'll begin." Roman announced, as Ren and Ruby prepared to jump off of their platforms.

The atmosphere was tense, as both fighters knew that the stakes were high. Their eyes met, locking each other in an intense gaze, as both understood that the other was not prepared to lose.

Ruby patted her weapon.

'_Come on, Cress. Don't fail me now. We're winning this- for me, mom, dad, sis...and Weiss.'_

'_Sensei, if you're up there, listening to me now, this is for you._' Ren announced, looking up for a brief moment, saluting the sky, before drawing StormFlower.

Roman raised a green flag in his hand.

"Three! Two! One!

START!"

He pointed the flag in front of him, signalling the beginning of the match.

* * *

Both combatants leapt off of their platforms. Ren flipped gracefully through the air, landing deftly on his knees, guns ready to fire, while Ruby's entrance was more forceful, as she kicked towards the ground and staggered slightly, ready for battle.

Ren nodded. "You understand that I won't lose, right, Ruby?"

The reaper merely smiled determinedly. "Neither will I."  
"It seems we're at an impasse. One which I will have to resolve." The gunslinger smiled right back. "I'm sorry, Ruby."

Ruby nodded. "I'm sorry too.

Sorry that you'll lose."

Both combatants ran at each other, with Ren hailing shots upon her while she unfolded Crescent Rose. Ren's shots flew over Ruby or to the sides, barely skimming her Aura, while Crescent Rose fully extended mid-stride, its blade trailing a rift in the ground its owner passed, before they met in the middle.

With a yell, Ruby leapt up, raising Crescent Rose over her head, before bringing it down upon Ren.

A loud, metallic _CLANG_ filled the arena, the sound now familiar to everyone within, as the tip of the scythe met StormFlower's own blades. Ren's hands coursed with Aura as he struggled to hold up the weight of Crescent Rose with his weapons.

"So," The gunslinger casually stated, despite the effort he was clearly putting in into preventing Ruby's weapon from hitting him. "You've gotten a bit stronger since the last time we sparred, eh?"  
"I drink milk, Ren." Ruby responded with a casual wink, before kicking off of his weapons and twirling in the air while simultaneously knocking him back.

Ren staggered slightly, shaking his head, as the reaper landed on the ground, planting her scythe in the ground blade first and setting herself up to fire.

"Take THIS!"

The gunslinger remained serene as he cartwheeled away from a blast of Dust that took off the top of the chunk of concrete behind him. Ren strafed her with StormFlower, hoping to force her to stop firing.

Considering it only made her duck and _increase_ her rate of fire, that plan backfired.

'_Hm..._' Ren jumped behind a piece of rubble, hiding just as a shot of Dust flew over his head.

'_Ruby's too strong to face on equal ground._

_I'll just have to get to the high ground._' The gunslinger concluded with a brief smirk.

'_Then I even get to use that _one_ technique I've been testing out for a while.'_

Ren peeked over the rubble to see Ruby running at him, Crescent Rose raised, yelling.

"Haaaaaaaaaah!"

The gunslinger managed to tumble back just in time to see it bifurcate the rubble, cutting it cleanly and smoothly into two parts. He fired two shots directly at her, forcing her to stumble back as her Aura deflected the shots.

"Ow!" Ruby shook her head, before pulling the blade out of the ground to see Ren climbing up onto one of the husks.

"Oh, _no you don't, _Ren..." Ruby chuckled as she pointed the back of her scythe at the ground and fired, propelling herself upwards with the recoil, before planting her feet onto the wall and using the recoil's force to keep herself going upwards while sprinting at Ren.

"Get over here!" The reaper yelled, as Ren's eyes widened when he realised Ruby was up there after him.

"Ah cr-"

He barely had time to curse before Ruby slammed him through the wall, sending him flying through the wall, smashing through several pillars before he slid to a stop at a wall, knocking his weapons out of his hands and sending them skittering away.

"Ugh..." Ren felt his head spinning from the impact, shaking his head to clear it.  
"That was a lot...harder than expected..." He exhaled, before his vision focused to see Ruby gathering speed behind her, rose petals swirling to signify her Semblance, dragging Crescent Rose behind her to maximise her force.

"Sorry, Ren!" Ruby called over, genuinely apologetic. "Uh...I promise I'll grab you guys dinner later!"

"Heh." Ren scoffed. "You sure that won't be the other way around?"

His hands were coursing with Aura once more.

Ruby ran at him, yelling at the top of her voice, Crescent Rose ready to swing.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

She lifted it once more to hit him and-

"Huh?!"

The blade's tip was hovering just over Ren's glowing, Aura-charged hand. He was on his feet again, holding Crescent Rose back with just one hand. His expression, in a snap, had changed from serene to confident.

"What the..." Ruby stared at him, stunned, unable to push her weapon down further.  
"I've been doing a little workout of my own." The gunslinger explained with a smile, before breathing in and slamming his free palm into Ruby's exposed stomach.

* * *

Ruby sailed through the air, swirling debris trailing behind her, as she slammed into the opposite building- and through several layers of pillars- with a grunt, sliding to the floor and wincing.

Meanwhile, Ren casually strolled after her, picking up StormFlower, and leapt across the considerable gap, firing his guns once to provide himself with the recoil, and landed deftly on the edge of the building, twirling his guns as a bit of whimsy.

"Guess the tables have turned, eh?"  
"You never know." Ruby retorted with a smile.

Ren chuckled, before holstering his guns and rushing at Ruby, his palm once again glowing with Aura, this time to finish her off. The reaper's eyes widened as she responded by rolling out of the way, grabbing her fallen Crescent Rose and with a deft motion, firing a Dust round into Ren's side, throwing him across the room.

"Gah!" He slammed his free palm into the floor, throwing up bits of floor to stop him from skidding further. With renewed determination, the gunslinger ran at her again, guns at the ready. The reaper eagerly met him in the middle, Crescent Rose trailing behind her, before swinging it at him.

In the middle, both fighters met the other's attacks with ferocity, with Ren parrying the scythe strikes with StormFlower's blades, delivering kicks and palm strikes where he could only to have those equally blocked by Ruby's agile dodges and the massive size of her weapon. Ruby attempted to retaliate with her own Dust blasts, only for the gunslinger to casually dodge them, weaving through her shots, to try to get his own in.

'_Gah! He's too quick!_' Ruby panicked mentally as she held off the onslaught of strikes and shots, missing yet another slash, before a figurative lightbulb went on her head.

'_Unless I make it harder for him to manoeuvre! That's it!'_

The reaper quickly delivered a kick to Ren's gut, winding him and forcing him back to catch his breath, while she changed the cartridge in Crescent Rose to a more explosive mixture of Dust.

"Let's end this!" Ruby yelled, before firing the Dust shot into a nearby column.

The entire floor exploded into debris, with the floors above it destabilised by the loss of support underneath and began crumbling into the floor below. The explosion shook the entire building, of course, and it began to fall into pieces, with chunks of the floor falling into the floors below.

Coincidentally, Ruby fell into a hole made by one of the chunks, landing in a crouch to absorb the impact. She scanned around for Ren quickly, hoping that he wasn't too hurt-

"Surprise."

Ruby whirled around to see Ren waving at her with a mischievous smirk, before leaping up onto the next floor. The reaper blinked rapidly for a couple of seconds, before following suit and leaping onto a falling piece of rubble.

Over her, she could see Ren climbing between pieces of rubble, kicking off of them to keep himself going upwards. Ruby nodded.

"I see...okay, I'm cool with this kind of fight!" The reaper declared, before following suit and ascending through the falling building, using her scythe as recoil and as a way to clear the path by slicing boulders in half when she needed to.

Ren looked down to see her following suit. He shook his head.

"Dammit, she's going to make this a _lot_ harder than I thought it would..." He sighed, before planting the blade of one half of StormFlower into the rock he was clinging to and firing the other at her to throw her off. Ruby plowed straight through regardless, ignoring his shots and coming completely at him with no holds barred.

"Crap!" The gunslinger yelled before detaching himself from the rock and moving up to the next rock as Ruby bifurcated the one stood on, using Crescent Rose's recoil to bounce herself off and hit again.

This time, he had enough time to parry it, firing a shot directly into Ruby's face. It stunned her, causing her to drop off into the rubble, only for her to propel herself back up and fire into his rock, blowing it apart. Ren grunted as he flopped onto a nearby rock, decidedly ungracefully.

"Ow..." He winced before quickly recovering and continuing his attempt to get to the top.

In the distance, he could see the top of a building, a stable area from where he could launch a finishing move. Ren steeled himself.

'_If I get there, this'll be over.'_

He looked down to see Ruby gaining on him once again, leaping between falling pieces of rubble to catch him. The gunslinger sighed.

"Oh...this is going to be hard..." Breathing in, Ren began ascending through the falling rubble, firing back down to discourage his opponent. Next to him, he could see blocks of rubble explode as Ruby's shots went wide.

To the audience, all they saw was a falling, expanding column of dust, smoke and rubble, collapsing to the ground as blurs of green and red exchanged gunshots, with bright flashes signalling broken rubble flying in all directions possible.

Ren looked up as he realised how close he was, shaking his head.

"Come on, dammit, I can make it!"

He began to hear more rapid gunshots behind him, as Ruby used Crescent Rose's recoil to drive herself through the rubble, flying at him.

"Come! Back! Here!" She yelled, every word punctuated by a shot.

"Not a chance!" The gunslinger roared, before stopping his ascent and pushing himself off of the rock, and with a quick movement, slammed his foot into Ruby's face.

"Agh!" The reaper yelled as she was suddenly stopped and Ren pushed up, before using StormFlower's blades to hook into a boulder, swing it under his legs and boot it towards Ruby, pushing her under it and managing to give him enough boost to send him onto the roof of the building he was aiming at as the rubble pile finally fell entirely onto the ground, taking Ruby with it.

Ruby blinked, reeling as she shoved some of the rubble that had fallen onto her out of the way.

* * *

"Ow..." The reaper whined, shaking her head. "That hurt...ugh...and these things are so heavy..."

With a spirited grunt, the reaper kicked a boulder off of herself, before digging herself out.

Pulling herself out of the pile of rubble, she managed to finally push herself into the light, shoving most of the remaining rubble covering her away as she stood up to see Ren, standing atop a building staring down at her, his arms crossed, sunglasses on his face, legs slightly apart.

"Heh. That was a good chase, Ruby." Ren called down, his expression calm and his arms still folded. "I'll admit, it was a close chase. And yes, it's been a good fight." The gunslinger conceded good-naturedly, with a smile.

"However..." He whipped his sunglasses off, pocketing them. "I'm going to need to wrap this up."

His right hand pulsed with Aura.

"Good fight, Ruby."

Crouching briefly, the gunslinger leapt up into the air, raising his palm to the sky, quickly gathering altitude- about as high as the bottom of the camera feed itself. To Ruby, he was nothing more than a speck now.

Ruby knew _exactly_ what was going to happen. She'd seen it done before.

Ren would crash back down onto the ground with his energy-filled palm, creating a massive shockwave that would leave the shape of a palm around where he landed, and would most likely obliterate Grimm- and most likely defeat her.

Ruby smiled determinedly.

"I just happen to have my _own_ ultimate technique." She responded with a wink as she crouched to one knee, readying herself for her own leap.

Petal...STORM!"

Immediately, her legs began trembling as she began to be surrounded with whirling rose petals, speed building in her legs, she began to see a burning figure begin to descend.

Or, rather, Ren, pointing his palm down at her, gathering immense amounts of force, his Aura protecting him from friction as flames began gathering around him, seemingly forming a lotus pattern around himself.

'_Now or never, Ruby. If he hits this, you're done...but if I land mine...he is._

_Well, I've got nothing to lose!_'

Ruby took off, swirling petals still surrounding her as she lifted into the air at incredibly high speeds, using her gun as to propel herself from the recoil.

Both advanced upon the other from opposite directions, two unstoppable forces about to meet each other- the scattering rose against the magnificent lotus palm.

This was the deciding factor.

Ren gave her a determined gaze.

"I will not LOSE!"  
"AND I WON'T EITHER!" Ruby roared defiantly.

The audience could only look on in muted awe as the serene lotus palm palm and the swirling roses met each other.

An explosion of Aura ensued, filling the entire arena with bright light, and blasting everything within with a powerful shockwave created by the impact and contained thankfully by the border fields.

* * *

"Uuunh..."

Ruby blinked, lying at the center of the destroyed arena- most of the buildings were literally nothing but rubble held in by the border field- with Crescent Rose at her side, undamaged. Burning rose petals fell from the sky, disappearing shortly after falling on the ground.

"Wait...where's...Ren?" She looked around hurriedly, looking to make sure her opponent hadn't snuck up on her.

"I'm out."

"Huh?"

She saw Ren behind her, raising his hand in defeat, dropping StormFlower to the floor.

Ruby tilted her head, before she realised that his back leg was out of the border. He'd been thrown out of the ring by the force of the attack.

Roman raised his hand to signal an end to the fight. Ren sighed, shaking his head.

"Lie Ren has been beaten by ringout! Ruby Rose has won!"

Ruby's eyes lit up.

"I...I _won_?!"

"You did, Ruby." Ren nodded, giving her a small smile. "Good game."

Roman swooped down to lift her hand up, showing her to the audience, as she watched the entire audience explode in applause, including her family.

"Woo! Go Ruby!" Yang cheered, pumping her fist. "I knew you'd win!"

"W-well done, R-Ruby..." Yin clapped demurely, giving her a warm, motherly smile.

Ruby cheered, jumping in the air.

"I won! I'm in the finals!"

"Yes, Little Red. Yes you are." Roman chuckled, as he switched to the other feed to see Weiss triumph over Blake by total knockout.

"And I get to fight Weiss!" Ruby cheered.

"Best...day...EVER!"

The reaper raised her hands to take in the applause, basking in her glory.

* * *

_Later..._

Blake awoke in the infirmary with a start, looking around to see a small note on the side table.

_Went to Vale to celebrate with family_

_Will be back later_

_-Love, Yang _

She sighed. "As always, Yang...as always."

Shaking her head and chuckling, she froze. "Wait!"

She still needed to tell Weiss about Siegmund.

'_Dammit! And he might be monitoring phone lines too...' _Blake sighed, shaking her head.

'_I'll tell her when she gets back. Yes. That's a good idea...it'll be quiet, nobody's around, and it'll be perfect._'

Blake sighed, reassured, and sank back into slumber.

She would tell Weiss about Siegmund soon, she promised herself, as sweet unconsciousness took her once more.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: You know the drill.**

* * *

"Heh. So this is Beacon."

In the distance, a physically-imposing man, a massive, dragon-like spear in his hands, wearing large, red and black armor, rimmed with gold, and a dragon's head mounted on the chest, gazed upon the academy with a sneer.

"It's hardly changed." Siegmund scoffed, gripping his lance tightly.

He smiled ominously.

"Good. It should make it easier.

Soon, Weiss. Soon, I will return. And then you will be sorry."

Chuckling darkly to himself, Siegmund retreated into the gathering darkness, continuing to mull over his dark plan.

* * *

**Stinger over.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, reviews, suggestions, thoughts and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	43. The Cockerel Festival, Part 5!

**The Cockerel Festival, Part 5!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! This is the beginning of the first half of the climax to this arc! Which means things WILL be getting crazy! Woo! I think. Is that how you say it? I don't know any more. Maybe I should stop this writing thing before I go insane. **

**Given the madness that is about to ensue, I feel it'd probably be a good time to end this rant right here.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Ozpin would have a beard.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Beacon Infirmary, Morning of the Fifth Day..._

Blake woke with a start, sweating profusely. Her gold eyes darted around, looking for her partner, but nobody was in sight, except Ren, who was calmly reading a notebook in one of the chairs near where Nora was suffering from a stomach upset from eating pancake batter.

"Yang!" She yelled out, looking around to see no chair or note from her on the bedside table. Ren jumped, clearly not expecting the yell, and the doe Faunus strolled over to her, staring at her.

"Miss Belladonna!"  
"Yang. Where's Yang?" The catgirl looked worried, and with good reason- she needed to tell them about Siegmund. "What time is it?"

"It's nine AM." The nurse clarified, frowning. "Miss Xiao Long told me to tell you to meet her there if you woke up before the last match started."  
"Last match..." Blake looked down briefly, before shaking her head. "I have to go. Now!"

She climbed out of bed and pushed the nurse aside, who cried out in shock.  
"M-Miss Belladonna!" She yelled after the catgirl. "You need to be checked for Aura-"

"SCREW THAT! MY FRIEND'S IN DANGER!" Blake called out as she sprinted down the corridor. Ren looked up from his notepad.

"...frie-" He froze, as did Nora. Both of them knew that there was something up if _Blake_ was panicking, after all.

"Does she mean..." Nora stared at her boyfriend.

"Team RWBY. Most likely Weiss." The gunslinger nodded, shaking his head. "Nora-"  
"Don't even need to tell me twice, Renny." Nora pulled herself out of bed, causing the nurse to stare at her.

"M-Miss Valkyrie-"  
"Don't worry about me! The Pancake God has granted me special powers to help protect my friends from the threats of this _cruel, cruel _world!" Nora posed dramatically, before running out and knocking over several shelves in the process..

Ren looked over apologetically at the nurse.

"I'll keep an eye over her. Don't worry." He ran off after her, as the nurse sighed exasperatedly as she began to pick up the mess.

"Why do _I _get the people who want to be heroes..."

_Meanwhile, at the tournament tent..._

Yang sighed, watching the competitor transport bus ride off to the last arena, the Field of Justice, looking at her watch.

"Maaaan, where's Blake?" She frowned, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I'm sure she'd be awake and discharged by now..."

"Xiao Long."

"Huh? Yang whirled around to see Adam approaching her, hand on the hilt of Wilt. Yang instinctively slipped on one half of Ember Celica, blinking at him.

"Adam? What are you-"  
"YANG!"

Blake yelled as she ran up to her, before stopping in front of them, breathing heavily and shaking her head.

"Blake? What's going on?" Yang looked concerned.

Adam adjusted his mask. "You mean she hasn't been brought into the loop?"  
"Loop?"

"Weiss." Blake choked out. "Weiss is in danger."  
Yang's eyes widened. "What are you talking about?"

"Siegmund's back."

"...you mean..."  
"The Schnee girl's grandfather." Adam responded calmly. "He's back in town. And targeting her."

Yang froze, shaking her head in denial. "No...no he can't be. T-that means..."  
"Your friend's in danger. You have to warn her before it's too late. Ozpin already knows about it, and most likely so will his associate." The swordsman patted his weapon.

"We're going to run out of time. We going or not?"

Yang looked to Blake, as if to confirm her fears. The catgirl slowly nodded, confirming them indeed.

"We have to get to a transport." Yang declared after a moment of deliberation. "_Now._"

"Wait for us!" Ren called after them, dragging Nora after him.

"We're going on an adventure!" Nora called out happily.

_Minutes later, at the Field of Justice arena..._

Blake, Yang and the others ran down the long corridor to the stands, where everyone- Siegfried and the Schnee family included- was gathered. They looked down towards the arena to see Weiss and Ruby, ready for their match, waiting on their starting platforms.

"Dammit!" Blake cursed. "How are we going to get down there?!"  
"You do not have to." Ozpin clasped her shoulder from behind, causing her to jump slightly.

"Professor!" Yang cried. "We have to tell her about Sie-"

"The arena is defended from all directions by Schnee _Kreuzritter_ robots." Ozpin assured her. "And rest assured, Hunters and Huntresses and other fighters from all around the world-"

Blake shook her head. "What if he got in here...before all the security was in place?"  
"Are you suggesting that Siegmund is in the crowd?" Adam inquired, gripping his sword tighter.

"It'd make sense, for a slimy bastard like him to sneak around like that..." Yang clenched her fists.

Ozpin adjusted his glasses. "I had Goodwitch, Fall, Port and Oobleck scan all the visitors. None looked like Siegmund or were identified as him."

Ren rubbed his chin. "Wait. That video screen, flying over the stage. When does that get flown in?"  
"An hour bef...oh, dear Dust." Ozpin froze, realising what Ren was saying.

As did the others. Ozpin looked upon the video screen to see a tall, red-clad figure clinging to the side, confirming his fears.

Siegmund was already here.

Ren looked around. "I'll grab my team."

Yang whirled around to find her mother and father. "I'll find my dad. He'll know what to-"

Both of them, of course, were interrupted by a large shockwave smashing through the arena below, as a massive spear smashed into the ground below.

* * *

_Upon the field..._

Weiss was knocked back by the sudden spear's descent into the field. She spawned a glyph behind her to catch herself in the air, as Ruby used her Crescent Rose to slow herself.

"Hey!" The heiress yelled. "T-this is interference! What's going-" She froze, finally processing what had fallen in front of her.

The spear's head was incredibly long, spanning half the length of the weapon itself. It resembled a serpents head, its jaws interlocked with slender, sharp teeth, seemingly separable to turn the spear into a two-pronged trident. The spear was a simple weapon, but powerful, and had a name that struck fear in the hearts of Hunters and outsiders alike.

_Jormungandr, _the World Serpent.

The spear made a perfect opponent to Balmung, the Dragonslayer- just as its wielder was the mortal enemy to Siegfried. His name was not Fafnir, but with his terrible countenance and dread strength, he might as well have been.

'_No. __**No.**_**' **

Weiss stood up, drawing Myrtenaster and shaking her head. The unthinkable had happened.

Siegmund Schnee had returned.

She looked around hurriedly, watching for her grandfather. Ruby pulled herself up to her feet, having tumbled while stopping herself with Crescent Rose. She looked worriedly at the shocked Weiss.

"Weiss!" She called. "Weiss! What's going on?"

"Ruby...my grandfather..." Weiss choked out. "He's-"  
"He is returned to reclaim his rightful throne."

Ruby had only time to look up in confusion before Siegmund jumped from the video screen and landed next to his spear in a crouching position, before whipping it out of the ground and slamming her away, out of the arena and away from Weiss. A sickening crack could be heard as the girl's body smashed onto the steel of the arena sides.

Weiss froze in shock.

"RUBY!"  
"Heh." Siegmund spat, drawing himself to his full height and turning to Weiss, a sadistic grin on his face.

"Why are you so concerned about her? She is _weak_. A mere lowborn _weakling_. Unworthy of life, like her mother was.

Your place is with greater people, Weiss. I will not have you-"

"Shut. _Up._"

Siegmund looked up bemusedly at the announcer stand. The announcer, Beth, glared down at him, before grabbing a nearby chainsaw, knowing that her Hrunting was too far away to reach.

"You _bastard._" she spat with utmost hatred- nobody was allowed to hurt her students on her watch.

Not even _him._

She leapt down at him, slashing the chainsaw at him, only for it to be casually shattered by a single strike from Jormungandr. Siegmund sighed, rolling his eyes.

"A _Lupin. _Lowborn. Not careful enough to keep their weapons on them." He pointed his spear at her, as she glared straight at him, hands raised to fight.

"Weiss, go!" Beth called over to her. "I'll hold him off."  
"You'll be grateful that you aren't my target." Siegmund stated, before casually grabbing several metal balls out of his pocket and hurling them at Beth, causing an electric net to surround her.

"Grah!" She flinched at the burning, attempting to fight her way out- but in her suit, with no weapons, it would be nigh impossible.

"Weiss! Get out of here!" Beth pleaded.

Siegmund scoffed, before turning to Weiss, who gripped Myrtenaster tightly.

"Come now, child. You can't hope to win against me in a test of strength."  
"You hurt Ruby." Weiss muttered, swapping Myrtenaster to its white setting and standing her ground, feeling her legs trembling from fear but ignoring it.

She mastered her fear of him, despite all the horror she had experienced at his hands and the fact that he was far stronger than she could ever hope to be.

He had hurt her best friend, her partner, her _love_, and she would not stand for it.

"You. Hurt. _Ruby._"

The tyrant merely laughed uproariously and contemptuously.

"What concern have you with a lowborn like her? She is simply inferior, destined to die like her mother did! Don't tell me you...ohoho, you love her.

Of course you do. Your pathetic father polluted your mind. Even after all my best efforts..." The man sighed, shaking his head. "Very well, we'll have to talk somewhere _private._"

Before Weiss could move, Siegmund had already grabbed her by the collar, lifting her up for the audience to see. She felt her air being cut off, as she struggled to escape his iron grip.

Siegmund laughed.

"Behold, Huntresses, Huntsmen, outsiders!" He declared. "I, Siegmund Schnee, have returned, to reclaim my rightful place in society...and to avenge the sins of an ungrateful son, as well as to right his wrongs!

And I shall start with his daughter. I shall raise her _right_, and failing that...I must do as any good father would." He slung Jormungandr on his back, looking with a smile for his son- and finding him, standing up.

Siegfried roared loudly from the crowd, drawing Balmung and clasping it with both hands.

"The hell you will. Get away from my DAUGHTER!"

Yelling wordlessly, he charged down the stalls, building up speed to leap onto the arena and strike at him.

Siegmund merely smirked, whipping out a small, chrome cylindrical pad. Weiss' eyes widened as she realised what Siegmund had brought with him.

"Teleporter, activate."

"GRAH!" Siegfried roared and leapt into the air, raising Balmung over his head.

Siegfried's Balmung sunk itself into the fields, cleaving the ground in two. Siegmund- and Weiss- were gone.

For a moment, there was only silence in the stadium, with only the winds making any sound while rushing through the tall grasses.

"Weiss..." Siegfried muttered at last, as Beth stared at him through the netting, clearly concerned. "My daughter..."

He shook his head, before releasing a heartbroken, tearful cry and falling to his knees, shaking his head.

"Weiss..._no..._"

Siegmund had taken his daughter once more.

And Dust knew what he wanted to do to her this time.

* * *

Blake exhaled, still in shock from what had just happened.

In the blink of an eye, Siegmund had simply swooped in and teleported out with their best friend, possibly fatally injuring Ruby in the process.

Yang yelled out. "RUBY! RUBES!

Find my parents, I need to get to Ruby!" Yang sprinted towards the place near where her sister had fallen, preparing for the worst.

Blake turned to Ozpin, who was still staring at the spot where Siegmund had been.

"Professor..."

"..." He grabbed a nearby intercom, calling out on it.

"_All Beacon Huntsmen and Huntresses, report back to your dorms immediately. All non-trainee Huntsmen and Huntresses, report to Beacon Hall for an emergency meeting._

_The Tournament is cancelled. Any civilians, please vacate the grounds immediately- we will reimburse you should you need it._"

Blake cried out. "Sir-"  
"I cannot allow you to look for Miss Schnee yourself, Miss Belladonna." Ozpin reprimanded her. "Siegmund Schnee is a _very_ dangerous individual-"  
"I don't care." Blake cut him off brusquely. "Weiss is _my friend_. I failed to warn her, now I have to find her.

I'm not just going to sit here and angst about the fact that I couldn't stop her getting kidnapped, I'm going to do something about it. Are you going to let me, or not, Professor?"

Ozpin simply, after a moment of decision, shook his head.

"I cannot allow you to go after her." The headmaster stated sternly and calmly. "Miss Belladonna, please go back to your dorm. We will discuss this later."  
"B-but-" Blake reached out as Ozpin walked off.

Ren shook his head, interrupting her.

"Don't, Blake. He won't budge. You know he won't."  
"But..." Blake clenched her fists and turned to the gunslinger.

"Ren, this was _my_ fault. I didn't tell Weiss Siegmund was coming and now she's gone- and Ruby might be dead, for all I know!"

"No, no I'm not." Ruby stated, waving at her from behind as Yang and Ruby walked up behind them.

"Her Aura took most of the hit. The cracking we heard was the concrete..." The brawler stated, relieved, and she gave her sister a big hug.

"I'm just glad you're alright, Rubes..."  
"Don't worry about me, Yang." Ruby shook her head. She clenched her own fist, looking towards where Weiss had been, merely minutes ago. Tears welled in her eyes, but she held them back.

Weiss wouldn't want her to cry, and she knew she had to be strong, if she wanted to get her out of this situation intact.

"I'm not the one who needs worrying about."

The stadium was muted for once. Freya, Winter and Elsa ran down to Siegfried, to comfort him, as did the Arcs, Qrow- most of the people who were friends with him.

The situation needed unity and solidarity more than ever.

* * *

_Meanwhile, elsewhere in Vale..._

Weiss woke up, shaking her head and grasping it.

"What the..." She felt her head throb with pain, before she remembered where she was, and what had happened to her.

Siegmund was nearby, a hand planting Jormungandr in the ground, as he overlooked pristine wilderness, shaking his head. Weiss pulled herself up, grabbing her fallen Myrtenaster and placing herself into a combat pose.

"The wonders of nature." Siegmund stated, not even moving to look at Weiss, clenching Jormungandr tightly.  
"The rules in it are simple. The weak die and the strong survive. There is no other way.

_Kraft Macht Frei._

The old Schnee motto. _Power will set you free_." Siegmund chuckled, shaking his head and still not turning to face Weiss, who was checking Myrtenaster.

"The words I lived by for years- power, strength and force set one free, in a world where power was the only way to prevail over those who would prey upon you. I achieved that alone- perfecting myself, day after day, to become stronger than any opponent that would seek to overcome me.

Your father was too foolish to understand that the rules of nature applied even to the world of man.

We, humanity, prevailed over the Faunus once before, therefore they are weak, and deserve only death. And within humanity, only the strong prosper. The lowborn weak must therefore die off. It is only the law of all things.

Your father didn't understand that. He wanted to sympathise with pathetic _beasts_ like that _Belladonna_ boy and pathetic lowborns like the Arcs. He even married one, would you believe it? Of course, you should be grateful, even if she is a lowborn. You wouldn't exist if she had not birthed you, after all, as loathe I am to admit it.

I am, of course, willing to overlook your tainted blood, Weiss." Siegmund continued. "You have potential. You are one of the best Huntresses in all of Vytal.

I am willing to see you as the true heir to the Schnee legacy. Join me, _meine liebe Enkelin_." He turned around, extending his hand to her, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Weiss was pointing her sword at him.

"I...would rather _die._" Weiss responded angrily. Siegmund gave her a bemused stare.

"Oh?"

"How _dare_ you call _anyone_ weak? You, and you alone, are weak and petty enough to not be able to let your son go- to let what you saw as wrongs pass, because you don't have the inner strength to admit they were _right_. _You_ alone are twisted enough that you could see kindness, a lack of bigotry, and a _conscience_, as _weakness. _

So what if I associate with Faunus? So what if I associate with so-called lowborns? You said it yourself. I'm one of the best Huntresses in Vytal, _Grandfather_.

I didn't get there by being a miserable, complete _monster_ of a man, pushing everyone else away.

I got here by being with my team- two lowborns and a Faunus, the very things you hate. And they have helped me more than any stupid motto or philosophy will.

Don't talk to me about self-reliance, or independence, or anything. You're just a _hateful_, _cruel_ man who can't get over the fact that nobody thinks like you. Maybe, once upon a time, I thought exactly like you- that perfecting and relying on myself would've worked and carried me through life.

But not now." Weiss glared at him with as much fury as she could muster.

"And you hurt _Ruby._

I'm willing to forgive everything else you've ever done to me.

But. Not. _That._"

Siegmund laughed heartily, lowering his hand. "Very well, Weiss, you drive a good point. And you have shown me where you truly lie."

"The time for talk is over." Weiss raised Myrtenaster. "I'm not afraid of you.

Not anymore."  
"So you aren't." The tyrant sighed, planting his spear in the ground, before hefting it into his hands, pointing it at Weiss.

"Well then, _Enkelin_, let me refresh your memory."

Siegmund, with a deft movement, stabbed at Weiss' torso, causing the heiress to dodge quickly and parry the blow. He smiled, before knocking Myrtenaster out of the way and shoving Weiss away with his spear.

"Not even strong enough to protect yourself from an old man." Siegmund scoffed. "And you call yourself strong."

Weiss gave him a vengeful glare, pulling herself up and readying her sword again.

"I just have to be stronger than you."

Siegmund laughed again.

"Not likely, child. Not _likely._"

With a roar, he charged at Weiss again, allowing her to interrupt him by stabbing her rapier into the ground, causing a jet of ice to freeze him solid.

"Ice? You flatter me." Siegmund smiled, before he started to glow slightly, heating the ice off of him. The smell of smoke surrounded him, as if he had melted the ice off with fire.

He then retaliated by hurling a fireball at her, causing her to dodge as the tree behind her set aflame. Weiss rolled away, blasting his chest with a three-shot barrage, barely even fazing him.

"Heh. Pathetic." Siegmund scoffed. "I will do you one better!"  
Opening his mouth and drawing in breath, he opened it to breathe a jet of fire over the trees, setting them aflame and forcing Weiss back into the fight.

Only for Weiss to see him charge at her and leap into the air, spear pointed at her.

"GRAH!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, in RWBY dorm..._

Blake, Yang and Ruby sat in a circle on the lower bunks, unable to leave since Ozpin had called a state of emergency around Beacon, now that Siegmund had single-handedly breached it.

Blake was on her laptop, fervently tracking down the energy trail that Siegmund's teleportation had left for her.

"Come on..." She smacked her laptop again, as it threw up more false trails, leading towards various locales like the Schnee Shopping Centre, Mountain Glenn, and even faraway locations like Mitakihara, Fuyuki City- as far as Inaba. "Dammit...how did he scramble the trail?"  
"How can you even track him?" Yang raised an eyebrow.

"Siegfried showed me the Teleporter in an email." Blake explained hastily, still searching for Weiss. "He wanted me to know about it- an alternate way of teleportation using some form of particles- Minovsky Particles or something similar sounding- that didn't use Spiral Power to move great distances. It was complicated, but he told me how it usually left energy trails easily tracked, which I did when he used it a bunch of times as a test to teleport between the _Kreuzelburg, _Beacon and Alexander Arc's house."

"Can you find anything?" Ruby inquired worriedly.

"He's done something to the trails that give me false positives." The catgirl stated, shaking her head. "I'm getting locks on his location from Kamogawa, from Vacuo, from somewhere in Atlas..."

"Dammit..." Yang exhaled deeply. "How did we let that happen? How did...how did Siegmund get past us?"  
"It's not your fault, Yang." Ruby patted her on the back, leaning into her to give her a hug- only for Yang to return the gesture.

"You need comforting more than me, Rubes."  
"I..." The reaper shook her head.

"Y-you're not worried?"  
"Weiss is a big girl, and I'm not worried." Ruby smiled, although it was slightly bitter.

"...we'll get Weiss back. I know it. We'll get her back."

We'll do it, right, Blake?"  
"Damn straight." Blake nodded. "If I could just unscramble these damn trails!"

Suddenly, Ren bust through the dorm door, clutching a device in his hands. Yang and Ruby looked up at him.

"Ren-"  
"No time." The gunslinger tossed Blake a device, which she caught and scanned over it.

It was a small USB dongle, labelled 'Wukong-Gunther Signal Clarifier' hastily scrawled onto it with black marker.

"They figured out how the teleporter worked and managed to get Siegfried to send them the notes on short notice. They don't know if this program would work- they hacked it together quickly- but t-"  
"Thanks." Blake nodded. "I need all the help I can get. Tell them from me."  
"Professor Faust is also attempting to divine her location with her magic circles. She's not getting too far either." Ren said, sighing. "Just thought I'd let you know.

Good luck, Blake." He stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

Blake plugged in the USB dongle, running the program alongside her tracker. Yang and Ruby pulled up next to her, looking hopefully at the screen.

"Did it work?" Ruby inquired hopefully. "Please tell me it worked. Please."

"Come on, Blakey..." Yang clasped her shoulder tightly. "Come on, come on..."

The trails began disappearing one by one, leaving only one, positive trail.

It led to several dozen miles out of Vale, upon a mountain known to be a Grimm nest.

Yang looked on in wonder. "Is that where..."  
Ruby cheered, pumping her fist. "Weiss! We found you!

Now we can absolutely _kick_ Siegmund's backside."  
"Damn straight." Yang smirked, donning Ember Celica. "Emergency state or no, we're going to find Weiss."

Blake smirked. "Just who the hell do you think we are, right?"  
"RIGHT!"

The catgirl donned her triangle glasses. It wasn't over, not yet. They weren't going to leave Weiss to die.

'_Oh. Now the chase begins, Siegmund._

_Weiss, if you can hear this, don't worry._

_We're coming for you._'

* * *

**To be continued...**


	44. The Cockerel Festival Finale!

"Agh!" Weiss was hurled back into a rock, feeling her Aura cushion the impact somewhat. She groaned, picking up Myrtenaster and sliding away with a glyph as Siegmund stabbed the ground where she had been thrown.

The two were ringed with flaming trees framed by the setting sun upon a mountain. Despite the Grimm frequenting this very spot, there were none in sight- perhaps they, too, sensed the dread power attempting to exert itself and ran.

Siegmund shook his head, chuckling.

"_Meine Enkelin_, when will you simply sit down and accept defeat?" He taunted her, blasting a fireball at her from his mouth, which Weiss managed to block with a column of ice, leaving the column itself melted and shattered from the strike.

"You lack strength and experience, Weiss!" Siegmund boasted. "I have fought Grimm and Hunters alike long before you were but a speck in your mother's eye.

I held off monsters you and your father could only hope to stand a chance against. I wield power that would make even the Arcs tremble in fear and denounce their love of manhood before me.

Even my bloodline cannot ever hope to stand against me-"  
"Just _shut up_!" Weiss snapped, before rushing at him upon glyphs. Siegmund levelled his spear at her, ready to run her through, but the heiress was ready for it.

With a graceful kick off of the ground, she slid across Jormungandr's length, aiming Myrtenaster at his side and delivered a quick, deliberate slash to his arm.

"GRAH!" The tyrant roared in pain, grabbing Weiss by the neck and hurling her away as he clutched his side, shaking his head. The heiress crumpled against a rock, smiling weakly, knowing she'd hurt him.

Siegmund stumbled back slightly, clenching his wounded arm's fist.

"You..." He spat, glaring at her with hatred. "...you_ would dare hurt me?_

I see your father has corrupted you beyond repair...so I will have to rectify that mistake!"

With a roar, Siegmund leapt upon her, Jormungandr ready to impale her.

Weiss mustered up her strength, and with a defiant yell, stabbed Myrtenaster into the ground, smashing Siegmund aside with a spike of ice, throwing him dangerously close to the flaming trees.

The heiress winced as she pulled herself up, feeling her Aura approach dangerously low. She stumbled slightly as she stared over at her lumbering opponent, gazing at her with nothing but sheer malice. For a moment, she felt a flutter of fear, knowing how little he was wounded, and how much she was-

'_...I...__**no**_**. **_**Weiss Schnee, how dare you think like that?**_

_They're all coming for you. Father is coming. Mother is coming. Yang, Winter and Blake are coming. __**Ruby**__ is coming._

_They won't leave me here to die, and I won't disappoint them. I won't die. I __**can't **__die here!_

_More than anything...__**Ruby**__ will be sad...and I won't let her cry on my behalf. I'm not going to let her lose me- and I will not lose her._

_I. Won't. Let. Her. Cry.'_

The heiress hefted Myrtenaster up, her resolve steeled, as she faced Siegmund, who pulled himself up. He wiped his mouth, snarling at his granddaughter.

"Tch. Do you really think your pathetic friends are coming for you?" The tyrant roared bitterly. "They will not come.

Your parents will not come. Your lowborn excuse of a lover will not come. Your-"  
"Please, _Opa, _stop boasting. You sound like a terrible ripoff of a villain from some stupid anime." Weiss scoffed dismissively, holding her ground despite her state. "I don't need to think they're coming, anyway, cliché as it sounds.

Knowing them, they're already on their way." She smiled confidently, gripping Myrtenaster just a little tighter. "Knowing that apparently _useless_ Faunus, she's already figured out where we are as we speak.

You've already lost. By your own logic, you can't even call yourself a Schnee- you're weak, you're not free, and you've already _lost_-"

"SILENCE!" Siegmund roared and pulled himself up, rushing at Weiss and coating Jormungandr in fire, opening it up into its two-pronged form, before hurling it at his granddaughter.

"BURN."

Weiss drew Myrtenaster back, adjusting it to the red setting, before thrusting it forwards, as the rapier set itself aflame. The weapons clashed, as a shockwave emanated out from the point of impact, blowing both combatants' hair back with the force.

With a surprisingly quick movement, Siegmund grabbed Jormungandr's handle and leapt up to stab Weiss, only for Weiss to duck underneath him, sliding along a pair of glyphs and pull herself behind him, before stabbing him in the back. The tyrant let out a pained roar, before whirling around with his fist and slugging the heiress, throwing her back- this time, she caught herself with her glyphs and returned to her feet easily, readying herself for a second go.

"I am a _TRUE_ Schnee!" Siegmund roared as he thrust his spear at her, which Weiss barely blocked by switching her chamber back and creating another ice pillar to block the attack. The tyrant opened his mouth and breathed a jet of flame at her, causing her to jump in the air and somersault back, regaining her defensive position.

Siegmund roared angrily, all pretence of calm completely lost to psychotic rage and desire for vengeance.

"I ALONE HAVE NOT SUCCUMBED TO _WEAKNESS_! I ALONE HAVE NOT BETRAYED MY BLOODLINE!

WEISS, YOU WILL DIE HERE! YOU WILL DIE ALONE! AND I WILL ENSURE THAT YOUR FATHER SEES THE LIFE EBB OUT OF YOUR CARCASS!"

Weiss adjusted Myrtenaster to its yellow setting, scoffing.

"Please. You couldn't even kill your _weak_ son."

"GRAAAAAH!" He charged at her, thrusting and stabbing his spear at her, which she dodged by millimetres, looking for the opportune moment to strike, before noticing one strike aimed straight at her abdomen.

Weiss saw her opportunity, before parrying Jormungandr with Myrtenaster, triggering the Dust effect and sending an electric current running through both weapons and into Siegmund.

"GRAAAAAH!" The man was rooted to his weapon, his Aura shielding him but still feeling the pain.

Despite that, however, he had the power to lift his hand off of Jormungandr to grab Weiss' neck, lifting her up and interrupting the current.

"This ends _HERE_!" Opening his mouth, he breathed a continuous jet of fire into Weiss' face.

Weiss let out a piercing scream as the flames ate at her Aura, slowly eroding it. Despite the fact that she suffered little injury, she could feel it slowly coming at her.

"I...won't...let...it end here!" The heiress mustered her force and stabbed him in the gut, forcing him back and cutting off the jet as he pulled back.

Weiss slumped to the floor, instinctively rubbing her face and making sure everything was intact, that she suffered little burns. She stumbled slightly, shaking her head and glaring at Siegmund, who was quite a distance away, glaring at her.

She smiled.

"And I won't be alone, either. My parents are coming, my friends are coming, and _Ruby_ definitely is."

"Let us put that to the test then!" Siegmund roared, before pulling himself off of the ground and charging at Weiss, who flipped the chamber on Myrtenaster as he approached her...

* * *

_Meanwhile, in Beacon Academy..._

Blake tied the ribbon of Gambol Shroud around her waist, as Yang opened the door, rolling her head and neck to loosen herself up. Ruby nodded, strapping Crescent Rose to her waist.

"How're we going to get to Weiss?" Yang inquired. "I'm pretty sure no Bullhead flies that fast- it'd take us a couple of hours to get there at least."  
"The Lagann will suffice." Blake stated as she grabbed her Core Drill, slinging it over her neck, and finished tying her bow.

"The Lagann? That'll be too obvious!" Yang complained. "They'll see us moving out too easily!"  
"If there's any chance of us getting to Weiss before Siegmund does anything, it's worth a shot." Ruby said with a hint of desperation. "We have to get to her before he does something!"

The catgirl nodded to her. "And we will."

"Not without us."

The three girls looked up to see teams JNPR and CFVY, Sun, Neptune and Cardin gathered outside their dorm- fully armed and ready to fight. Behind them, Isara loaded a humongous-looking shotgun that looked far too large for a girl of her size, Melanie and Miltiades adjusted their respective fighting gears, Minako brandished her Evoker, Elsa patted the hilt of Kaltblume while Norn adjusted her _kunai_, and even Adam and Dove were there- Dove looking distinctly uncomfortable next to the ex-White Fang member, but staying there regardless. Even team MLDY was there, leaning against the wall behind Dove and Adam.

Jaune nodded. "We're going with you, Ruby."  
"Weiss is our friend too." Melanie stated confidently.

"I won't let some two-bit villain hurt _my_ Weiss-sempai!" Velvet declared defiantly, with Vivi adding a loud, emphatic "Piii!".

"I don't really know Weiss," Isara stated truthfully, before deliberately, and loudly, cocking her shotgun. "But I know she's your friend, and that's she's one of us, and that she's in danger. That's enough for me."

"Yeah," Sun drew his staff, twirling it around. "Who did you think you were, leaving us out of the party?"

"The Lagann only has space for four." Blake stated. "And Ozpin will notice if all of you go-"  
"In case you haven't noticed," Neptune cut her off, slinging his railgun behind him. "We don't really care what Ozpin says."  
"Weiss is my best friend." Pyrrha calmly added. "I will **not** see her come to harm while I draw breath."

"And besides," Minako said with a cheery smirk. "I've been dying to break out Thanatos on _someone_."

"The Pancake God _decreed_ that I help Weiss!" Nora declared, pumping her chest with her fist proudly. "And I would miss Miss Bossyboots if she died..."

Yang nodded, crossing her arms. "They have a point, Blake. The more the merrier.

Remember, our parents tried to take Siegmund on and nearly_ lost_."

"We still can't bring everyone-"  
"That doesn't matter." Yatsuhashi cut her off. "You're not the only one with vehicles. I have an off-road van in the garage."  
Sun chuckled. "Me and Isara here fixed up the tanks for faster movement- just in case we needed it. Guess that was a smart move."

Ren shrugged. "We'll just grab the Shinkiro and the Nirvash from the hangar. Everyone will ride with either us or them-"  
Neptune nodded. "I'm sure we can cram one or two extra people inside our tanks."  
"And where do you think you're all going?"

Everyone looked back to see Cinder, arms crossed.

"You _do_ know you're all supposed to be in your dorms right now, yes?"  
Ruby spoke up confidently.

"Professor Fall, we're going to save Weiss." The reaper declared defiantly. "And I will fight to get out of here if it means saving her!"  
"Yeah." Yang and Blake backed her up. "We're not backing down!"

Cinder chuckled, shaking her head. "Oh, I wasn't going to stop you."

Ruby's defiance deflated.

"Y-you're not?"  
"Of course not." The teacher shook her head. "No, go ahead."

"...you're not even going to give us a lecture about how dangerous Siegmund is?" Jaune inquired, slightly suspicious.

Cinder scoffed, waving them off.

"Please, you're all in my Self-Defense class. I know full well how good you are at fighting things. And that old fart won't stand a chance against my students, no way.

I taught you guys how to fight, so clearly you're going to win. Go get her.

In all likelihood, we'll probably be flying out there ourselves on Bullheads, so it'd be a bit stupid of us to not let the trained fighters we know are trained to help their friend out, eh?"

"T-thanks, Professor Fall..." Ruby smiled at her. "...that really helps."  
"You heard the Professor." Blake donned her triangle shades. "Go!"

All the students gathering around moved briskly towards the Tankery hangar or the mecha hangar, with some making for the garage. Ruby, Blake and Yang made for the mecha hangar with great haste, purpose filling them as they did so.

* * *

_Minutes later..._

Yang snapped her fingers as she got into the Lagann, where Ruby and Blake were waiting.

"Hang on! We never told anyone where we were supposed to go-"  
"No problem." Blake snapped her phone shut. "I've texted everyone the location.

Let's do this."  
"Hang on, hang on." Ruby paused. "Even if we go at the fastest, we'll be there in at least half an hour! That might be too late!"

"You forget, Ruby, we're in the Lagann. We _do the impossible_. We _break the unbreakable._" Blake reminded her with a determined grin, before twisting the Core Drill and turning the Ganmen on, shutting the canopy over their heads and soaring into the air.

She pushed away from the pilot seat, pushing Ruby to the controls.

"Huh?"  
"Think of Weiss. Think of everything you possibly could about Weiss- about how much you care about her, how much you love her." Blake commanded as Ruby nodded.

"Got it!"

Ruby summoned every memory, every inch of everything she knew about Weiss.

She summoned up every time she ever hung out with Weiss, every time she'd cuddled up to Weiss, every memory she had of her- the first time they met, their first hug, their first kiss- and she summoned up every detail she loved about her- her clear blue eyes, her ivory skin, and that cute, teasing smile she gave when she was actually happy for a change-

"Hang on, Weiss, I'm coming." Ruby clutched the controls of the Lagann tightly, filled with hope that she would get her back.

"Stay put!"

Blake smiled as the Lagann's interface whirred to full. She whipped out her scroll, cycled through her playlist, and selected a particular song.

"Oh...this is going to be _badass._" Blake squeed happily as Yang felt the Lagann begin to vibrate more and more.

"W-what's going on?"  
"Remember that Perceptual Teleportation thing I accidentally did that dropped things in Ylisse and stuff?" Blake reminded her. "I forgot that you had to have a proper aim to make it work. Something to aim for, or _someone_.

Ruby's just the perfect person for it. No way she'll be lead astray by anything." The catgirl sat back and relaxed.

"Enjoy the ride!"

"Weiss!" Ruby declared as the Lagann began to move rapidly. "HERE I COME!"

_Meanwhile, from the outside..._

Ozpin was in a meeting with the Hunters who had fought Siegmund at the _Kreuzelburg_ as well as several others, when he heard a loud boom behind him.

Raising his mug, he stood up and looked behind him to see a red mechanical face in the sky disappear into a green portal it was seemingly forming. He looked down to see tanks, giant robots and vans move out of the garages and driving- all in the direction where the face had flown off in.

Ozpin sighed, shaking his head and smiling.

"It looks like team RWBY never disappoints."

"Precisely the spirit of true warriors!" Alexander Arc raised his armored fist and stood up. "And what are we, true warriors that we are, doing here talking? We should follow their example!"  
"Damn straight." Andreas followed suit, patting his sword. "My son probably followed them. And what kind of father would I be if I let my son do all the fighting?

Just who the hell do you think I am?!"  
"Indeed!" Siegfried roared, standing up beside them. "Enough talk! I have to go save my daughter, if you will excuse our rudeness!"  
Slowly, every Huntsman and Huntress stood up- people from the likes of Glynda and Cinder to the likes of Raven and Qrow. Even Beth was present, and she had drawn a massive, silver-plated rifle with a chainsaw bayonet, several shifting components present. The rifle could shift into a massive chainsword, with size to rival the likes of Balmung, Grimmbane or Crescent Rose.

In runic script along the side, the weapon was named _Hrunting_.

"Let's do this, Ozpin." Beth stated confidently. "Hrunting's been dying for action."  
Ozpin sighed, closing his eyes and shrugging.  
"Very well, how can I stop you?"

Pressing a button to his side, he activated the intercom to the Bullhead hangar.

"Ready a Bullhead for us. We'll be down there soon."

* * *

Weiss dodged a blast of flames as Siegmund stared down at her imperiously, Jormungandr flickering with flames.

"I don't see your so-called _friends_ anywhere near you, child!" He laughed mockingly. "They have abandoned you!"

"Quit acting like you know them." Weiss retorted. "Not all of us are complete monsters who'd betray anyone at a moment's notice."

"You'll be long dead before they can save you." The tyrant then charged at her, sweeping her legs out from under her with his spear, before twisting it upwards and stabbing down. The heiress managed to catch the spear in the middle of its prongs, struggling to hold it away from her.

Both Schnees were locked in a desperate struggle- one to finish off his opponent, another to buy time for her friends to save her. Myrtenaster and Jormungandr seemed to shake with the effort, as if they were alive and understood their wielders' desires.

"I will SURVIVE!" Weiss roared, as defiantly as her father could, before kicking Siegmund in the gut. Surprisingly, despite the blossoming pain in Weiss' foot telling her she'd damaged herself by kicking him, he stumbled back, shaking his head in agony.

"ARGH!" The tyrant winced as he readied himself to strike back at Weiss. The heiress stood her ground, but she was losing steam- her breathing was ragged, her stance was no longer strong, and she felt her strength ebbing with every second she fought. She clutched her knees, feeling the full fatigue of her effort.

'_I won't be able to hold out much longer..._' Weiss reflected, shaking her head. _'I'm sorry, Ruby..._

_...looks like I'm going to fail you._

_You know...death isn't that bad. I can just...hear Blake's stupid manly music...coming...hey, wait a minute-'_

"_Just give me a reason_

_To keep my heart beating..._

_Don't worry it's safe right here in my arms!_

_As the world falls apart around us..._

_All we can do is hold on, hold on!"_

"HOLD ON, WEISS!" That was Ruby's distant yelling.

It wasn't just hallucinations brought on by fatigue and injury. She really was hearing them.

"No way..." Weiss looked up, realising where the sound was coming from.

Siegmund looked up too, in time to see the Lagann emerge through a green portal, launching itself directly at him, a giant drill emerging from its forehead and beginning to spin.

"What in the name of-"

The drill smashed into him, cutting him off and sending him flying back as the Lagann somersaulted in the air and landed on its feet. The canopy opened, revealing Ruby, Yang and Blake, as the song continued blaring from somewhere in the cockpit.

Blake smirked. "I TOLD you that song would fit!"

"Guys!" Weiss' spirits lifted, and she could feel her fatigue fading. Ruby and Yang jumped out to hug Weiss, while Blake turned the Lagann to face Siegmund.

"Weiss!" Yang was the first to get to her, picking her up and hugging her tightly. "I'm so glad you're alive..."  
"Yeah," Weiss nodded, for once glad that Yang was crushing her in one of her hugs. "I am too."

Yang dropped Weiss in time for Ruby to glomp her, nearly sending her off her feet.

"Weiss!" Ruby squealed happily, kissing her on the cheek.

"Heh. Ruby." The heiress smiled tenderly at her, caressing her cheek. "I love you too."

Blake pointed her thumb at Siegmund. "He's still not done, you know."

Indeed, Siegmund pulled himself off of the ground, growling and shaking his head as he ignored the large dent in his armor from the Lagann's drill.

"You..." He growled. "How _DARE _you interfere?"

Yang wrapped her arm around Weiss. "Because we can, and she's our friend."

"I'm not letting you hurt my girlfriend." Ruby drew Crescent Rose and unfolded it into its full scythe form, staring down the tyrant. "We'll give you a chance to run."

Blake adjusted her triangle shades, giving Siegmund a determined glare.

"This is the way Team RWBY ROLLS! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!"

"A BUNCH OF PESTS!" The tyrant roared furiously. "IF YOU WILL NOT GET OUT OF MY WAY, THEN I WILL HAVE TO KILL ALL OF YOU!"

"Fat chance." Yang retorted, before cracking her gauntleted knuckles. "Bring it, gramps."

"GRAAAAH!" Siegmund leapt at them, only for Ruby to swing her scythe to block Jormungandr.

"Not a chance!"

With a massive effort, she pushed the tyrant back, before planting the scythe end of Crescent Rose in the ground and aiming at him, firing several rounds into him rapidly.

Siegmund winced with every shot, but ignored the pain and shot a jet of fire at Ruby's head- only for a jet of blue Dust to meet it in mid-air, blasting it apart. Weiss smiled, the tip of Myrtenaster smoking, as she flipped the chamber.

The tyrant roared and leapt towards them with Jormungandr, screaming curses and threats in some language only Weiss understood, before the Lagann grabbed the spear and punched him back down, tossing the spear aside.

Blake turned to Yang. "NOW!"  
"Got it!" The brawler leapt into the fray and onto him, pounding him with Ember Celica, with fist and shell alike.  
"You want power? YOU GOT POWER!" Yang roared, punctuating every hit with a punch.

Siegmund merely stared her down, ignoring the force of her blows.

"What you can hit me with is nothing compared to what I can strike with, mere child of dragons!"

The tyrant struck her with his knee, pushing her off of him, as he pulled himself up and grabbed her by the neck.

"YANG!" Ruby rushed in, a flow of rose petals signalling her Semblance.

Siegmund returned the favour, punching Yang repeatedly in the face, gut and chest, before headbutting her and hurling her onto a nearby stone. Ruby attempted to strike Siegmund, but the tyrant was prepared, simply grabbing Ruby mid-air and hurling her away.

* * *

"Ruby! Yang!" Weiss yelled, before growling and turning to Siegmund, who was dusting himself off.

"Even your friends are weak!" The tyrant laughed. "What good did waiting for them do yo-"  
"GO TO HELL, YOU BASTARD!"

The Lagann crashed into Siegmund's side, throwing him off. He glared at the giant face and its pilot, who was returning the glare with as much disgust as she could.

"Filthy Faunus!" The tyrant taunted Blake. "How dare you touch me?"

"Shut up!" The catgirl raised the Lagann's fist and slugged him away, before spawning a drill from its forehead, watching it begin to spin.

"LAGANN...IMPACT!"

Blake launched the Ganmen towards her opponent, only to realise too late that Siegmund had already recovered.

He thrust his spear into the Lagann's drill, tearing the drill apart, and further into the Ganmen. Blake jumped out to avoid being impaled, landing behind him as the tyrant utterly wrecked the Lagann, tearing a massive hole in its head and face, before discarding the hunk of twisted metal and turning to the catgirl.

"Heh." Siegmund smiled sadistically at her. "It appears as if that suit of armor you wear is gone. What will protect you from me now, _Faunus_?"  
"You misunderstand, dear Siegmund." Blake stated, a grin growing wider on her face as she adjusted her shades.

"That suit wasn't made to protect me. It was made to protect _everyone else_."

The catgirl flicked out Gambol Shroud, and with unparalleled speed, brushed past him, spawning an exploding illusion at him and knocking him back.

"Grah! Stay still, beast!" The tyrant swung Jormungandr, but to no avail. Blake slashed at him, spawning more and more exploding illusions, tossing Siegmund about like a ragdoll, before delivering a flying kick to his head.

"Agh!" He stumbled aside, shaking his head, before Blake, adjusting her shades, hurled both Gambol Shroud's bladed end and its scabbard at Siegmund, pinning him to a platform of Spiral Power.

"What in the name of Dust?!" He attempted to struggle against the binds, but to no avail. He stared at Blake, who prepared her finishing move.

Unfurling the ribbon at her waist, she twirled it into a drill shape, yelling.

"If you think you're going to hurt my friends..." Blake smiled. "Then I'm going to have to destroy that screwed illusion of yours!"

A drill formed from green energy within the ribbon, spinning as Blake grabbed it and flew at the struggling Siegmund.

"GIGA! DRILL! BREAAAAAAAAK!"

She thrust the drill into him, hurling him aside and landing with a tumble as she discarded the drill.

"And that should-"

"I'm not done yet, you pathetic _fools_!" The tyrant roared defiantly, his armor badly damaged by the hit. He pulled Jormungandr up, preparing to charge.

"I shall start with-"  
"NO!"

He turned to see a _very_ angry Yang, her eyes glowing red, her hair floating with power, jumping at him and rearing back to punch him.

She slugged him straight in the face, sending him flying across the field, forcing him to stop his movement with his spear by stabbing it into the ground. He growled.

"You...I thought I finished you off!"

"My Semblance is force absorption, gramps." Yang flicked a strand of hair out of her eyes, jumping from foot to foot.

"And...just how hard did you hit Weiss?"

"What kind of-"  
"Because I've been perfecting this one technique that I kinda stole from Nanoha." Yang cracked her knuckles. "You see, I tried to use this on Weiss earlier, but she blocked it and there wasn't enough power anyway.

I can absorb ambient Aura to power my own hits, too, as an extension of my Semblance. Guess how much Aura _you've_ used?"  
Siegmund froze, as he realised that his fire blasts and Weiss' Semblance use created a _lot_ of ambient Aura.

The brawler smirked as she saw the realisation dawn on his face.

"I _live_ for the dawning terror." The brawler boasted, before rearing her suddenly-glowing fist back and running at him.

'_I've always wanted to say this._'

"Torchlight...BREAKER!"

Siegmund raised his spear to block her strike, but it was far too strong.

The strike enveloped them both in bright light, before throwing the tyrant in the opposite direction from Yang, leaving smoke trails as he did, and Yang landed with her fist in the ground, the ground around her smoking.

Siegmund crashed into a churning tornado of petals, as Ruby stood in the middle of it, crouched and ready to strike.

She merely turned up, giving him a smile that would scare even an ancient Behemoth Grimm.

With impossible, inhuman speed, the reaper smashed into him repeatedly, swirling petals around her, firing shots and delivering slashes with equal deadliness and accuracy.

The tyrant was bewildered by her sheer strength and could only stare in muted shock.

"What...I..."  
"HAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ruby, with one final strike, threw Siegmund out of the tornado of petals, straight into a black glyph of Weiss' which lifted him into the air.

Weiss readied Myrtenaster, spawning a red glyph under her feet.

"This is for everyone you've ever hurt, Siegmund.

You don't deserve the _name_ grandfather.

Now..._Omnislash._"

With an audible _clang_, Weiss thrust through Siegmund from multiple directions, seeming to be rushing him from three or four directions at once, leaving only a white blur to be seen, before leaping above him, rapier raised.

At that point, the rest of team RWBY leapt up, weapons raised and ready to smash him down.

"We ready, guys?" Ruby looked to her teammates, who nodded.

"Let's show this bastard what happens when he messes with team RWBY."

"Ready as I'll ever be!"

"Come on." Weiss smiled at her. "Together."

Ruby smiled back, before looking to Siegmund.

He stared at the whole team as they prepared to end the fight, and for the first time, Siegmund felt something that he claimed was only for the weak.

He felt _fear_.

"TEAM! ALL-OUT ATTACK!"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

The first arrival to the scene was the Tiger I tank, containing Nora, Ren, Jaune and Pyrrha.

Jaune was the first to exit the tank, looking around to see what was going on.

"Guys! Guys! Is everything alr..." He froze.

The edge of the forest around them now only consisted of burnt-out trees, and the grass underneath it dead and ashen. The rocks nearby were cracked as if hit by immense force.

Lying unconscious behind them was Siegmund Schnee, his armor totalled exposing his black undershirt, his Jormungandr lying nearby, planted in the ground.

Ruby was cradling a peaceful sleeping Weiss in her lap, kissing her forehead and sighing happily, as Yang and Blake were looking towards the setting sun as it finally lowered behind the mountains.

"Jaune?" Ren called from underneath. "Jaune, is everything alright?"  
"They...they did it." Jaune looked on in wonder as he climbed out, followed by the rest of his team.

Ruby looked up at them, waving.

"Hey, guys."

"Nicely done." Ren whistled, clapping. "I guess you didn't need us to help."  
"It was appreciated." The reaper responded, before putting a finger to her mouth. "Now shush. Weiss is taking a nap."

The peaceful smile on Weiss' sleeping face grew as she curled up further in her lap.

Slowly, everyone else arrived- the Bullhead being the last to come. When it touched down, team RWBY was taken onto it for immediate transportation back to Beacon to earn their rest, accompanied by Winter, Ozpin, Alexander and Beth.

_Meanwhile..._

Siegmund slowly awoke, shaking his head.

"Ugh..." His vision slowly refocused, as he looked up and pulled himself to his feet, stumbling towards and grabbing Jormungandr- only to realise who was surrounding him.

"So." Qrow Rose- a black-haired man in his late thirties, with cool grey eyes and a massive monochrome scythe resembling Crescent Rose- approached him, grinning. "We meet again, Siegmund."

"Indeed." Ysengrim Belladonna growled, readying himself for a fight, equipping sharp, crimson claws. "Long time no see, _old friend_."  
Yin Xiao Long and Freya Schnee merely gave Siegmund angry glares as they too drew their weapons.

"You hurt my daughters."

A tall, muscular man, with bright blond hair and golden eyes, clad in golden armor, a large pair of sun-shaped serrated chakrams slung on his back, walked up behind them. He seemed fairly young, for a man who was supposedly as old as Glynda and the other students of her year. Everything about him seemed to exude brightness, as if he was a miniature sun walking around.

He approached Siegmund along with Siegfried.

"You _bastard_. _Nobody_ hurts my daughters." Taiyang Xiao Long, father to Yang and Ruby, glared towards Siegmund with all the hatred he could muster. He cracked his knuckles and unslung his chakrams.

"This is for Summer."

"Aye." Siegfried hefted Balmung up, a _very_ excited smirk on his face.

"And this is for my wife and daughters, _Father._"

Siegmund swallowed.

He knew this would not end well.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope your 'kill Siegmund' urges are satisfied, because that is the END to the Cockerel Festival Arc! It's been a fun ride, but all good things come to an end.**

**So, next chapter, Valentine's Day! Yep! We finished JUST in time to get ready for it!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, reviews, comments, suggestions, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	45. Weiss Reacts Valentine's Special, Part 1

**Weiss Reacts Valentine's Day Special, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, after the explosive finale to the last arc, I felt like we needed a slight break from the seriousness and drama. Of course, with Valentine's Day having come and gone, so on and so forth, I felt it made sense to have a chapter on it. I was busy going on a Persona 4 binge and making a forum game about Persona on the actual day itself, so have this as a consolation!**

**oh and of course shipping always shipping**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a parody of emo angsty characters who gets beaten up by Jaune or something.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Ren blinked at Jaune, who was rooting through a box on his bed.

"Jaune?"

"Ren." Jaune started, his face still inside the box. "Do you have a mask I can borrow? Preferably one that makes covers my entire face?"  
"Why?"  
"I don't think I'll be able to go out in public today if my face is exposed." Jaune complained.

Ren raised an eyebrow. "What do you- _oooooh._ It's Valentine's Day."  
"Mhm." The knight sighed exasperatedly. "Valentine's Day- the bane of my existence.

I mean, I know this _probably_ sounds Sue-ish and stuff, but can I go _ONE_ Valentine's Day without being flooded with girls?!"

Indeed, for the other three-hundred-sixty-four-odd days of the year, Jaune already had enough issues with girls- and boys- fawning over him. It did _not _help that he had two of the generally-considered most attractive girls on campus, Pyrrha and Minako, fighting over his affections. It also _did not help_ that there were rumours that Weiss and Yang, _the_ most attractive girls on campus short of Winter Schnee herself, were ALSO after him. Therefore, he had to deal with those rumours, and the inevitable attempts for his admirers to get to him before his other, more prominent admirers- real or imagined- got to him.

He envied Sun quite a lot-he got the rumours too, but at least they were low-key- almost nobody talked about the strange amount of time he spent around the transfer girl Isara or the thought that he might have his eye on Blake, or those weird ones about him and Neptune being closer than friends. Certainly, comparatively less girls and boys pursued him to steal him away, too.

"Heh. It _does_ sound Sue-ish." Ren chuckled. "Maybe if you weren't so oblivious and nice, they'd be turned right off.

Of course, in the process, that would leave the weirdoes who act like crappy shoujo protagonists and like their boyfriends to be jerks..." The gunslinger sighed. "...and with all the fangirls around here, Dust knows who many of those we have..."

"Yeah, yeah." Jaune pulled out a Guy Fawkes mask and put it on, turning to him.

"How's this look?"  
Ren raised an eyebrow. "You trying to be a crappy Anonymous wannabe?"

"Gee, thanks, Ren." Jaune muttered drily. "You're a real pal."

"Only joking." The gunslinger chuckled. "It'll do fine, but try something _less_ conspicious."

Miltiades suddenly burst in, slamming the door behind her and wiping her brow of sweat. She had a look of terror on her face.

Ren tilted his head. "Eh? What's-"  
"The fangirls! T-they're _everywhere_!" The girl in red declared, shaking her head. "T-they're like a horde of locusts! Half the chocolate in Beacon must've gone into the boxes or something!"

"D-do you know where Pyrrha went?" Jaune looked concerned. Miltiades nodded, swallowing.

"S-she went out to Vale to do something. She's not here today. Minako went with her, too."  
The knight sighed in relief. "Good. One less problem on our hands..."

Ren chuckled. "You'd be better served going out the window today."

"When jumping out of a window is safer than walking out the front door, you know you're either in an action movie or Beacon." Jaune remarked drily, before heading over to the dorm window to prepare to jump out.

"I'm going to quickly grab supplies for the rest of the day. Wish me luck!"

Nora, who was cooking pancakes, as usual, saluted him.

"Dustspeed, my good comrade!" Nora sniffed. "It was a pleasure serving with you..."  
Jaune chuckled from behind his mask before jumping out of the window, landing in a conveniently placed bush facing Beacon's courtyard, crouching and looking around.

He pulled his hood up to hide his blond hair and looked around- he could see a pair of fangirls squeeing about their plans for if Jaune accepted their gifts, and Oobleck and Port talking over coffee on a nearby bench, but nothing else.

Jaune sighed in relief. "Thank Dust-"  
"Oh. Hello."

"Ah!" Jaune nearly jumped, finally noticing the second occupant of the bush, Winter Schnee.

"W-Winter!" The knight whispered harshly. "W-what are you doing here?!"

"I decided to hide from my admirers this year. "Winter stated matter-of-factly, brushing a twig out of her long white hair, before stuffing her head back into a dull russet hood. "What are you doing here, may I ask?"

"Same thing." Jaune chuckled, sighing. "Admirers, am I right?"

"Indeed..." Winter sighed, shaking her head. "I dread Valentine's Day- hence my decision."

"I know the feeling." Jaune nodded. "Hey, do you want to hide in my dorm then?"  
"Is that a preposition?"  
"No, because I'm hiding from my admirers too." The knight took his mask off to reveal his face.

"Ah. Mister Arc." Winter smiled at him. "Your reputation precedes you."  
"Yeah." The knight sighed, putting his mask back on. "I'm just out here to grab supplies and then we can hide in my dorm for the rest of the day. Sound like a good deal?"  
"Indeed." The lady nodded. "I fear my dorm is somewhat inaccessible, of late."

"Fanboys?"

"Indeed." Winter shook her head. "Let us take these supplies you are looking for and hide quickly, before we get noticed."

Jaune sighed, nodding. "This might be a lot harder than I thought it would be."

He weighed his chances of being able to get himself and Winter back to JNPR dorm without being spotted.

* * *

_Meanwhile, over in Vale..._

"Thank you, Melanie, for taking us out here." Pyrrha nodded, fixing her brown leather jacket and dusting it off.

Melanie chuckled. "Oh, it's fine, it's fine. I needed to get out here to buy something for Cardin anyway."  
"Pretty cool of you to bring me along, too." Minako waved at her, adjusting her scarf around her neck. "I was meaning to head out here anyway."

"Well, Weiss gave me all these coupons for all the shops her company owned..." Melanie contemplated, rifling through her wallet and pulling out a large quantity of Schnee Company Store coupons. "She said her dad gave her all of these."  
"He must've been quite worried after the events of last week..." Pyrrha noted.

Minako shrugged.

"We should be used to stuff like that happening by now. We had a _giant mecha battle in the air above _Beacon twice already."

"Point taken." The spearmaiden nodded. Melanie checked her coupons again, before sighing.

"Well, I'm going to go spend these on getting Cardin more sewing materials. He's not really all for being sappy and stuff." The girl in blue giggled. "I can trust you two to watch each other's backs, yes?"

Pyrrha and Minako smiled. "Of course!"

"Good." Melanie began walking away, before turning back to them. "Well, we're meeting up in the food court when we're done, alright?"  
"Yes." The summoner nodded, waving at Melanie as she walked away.

The moment Melanie was out of earshot, Pyrrha and Minako glared at each other.

"I _will_ buy Jaune-kun a superior gift." The spearmaiden declared. "And then I will ask him out on a date. And I will _not_ be interrupted."

Minako crossed her arms, closing her eyes and smiling smugly. "That may be, but we all know that I'm going to be more successful."

Pyrrha crossed her arms right back, confident in her victory. "May the best Huntress win."

"Indeed, Pyrrha. Indeed."

With that in mind, both girls set off in separate directions, hoping to find a shop which sold good gifts for him.

_Meanwhile, back at Beacon..._

Winter and Jaune crouched behind a bench, making sure they were unseen by their admirers.

Jaune peeked over the bench, looking around.

"Winter, you see anything?"  
"Nothing whatsoever." The lady sighed in relief, pulling herself up off the ground and dusting herself off. Jaune lifted his mask to dab at his face with a towel, before putting his mask back on.

"Okay, we should be RIGHT next to the-crap!"

"Huh?" Winter looked at him curiously before being pulled back into cover by Jaune.

Around the corner, two fangirls, one pining for Jaune and the other for Winter, walked.

"Jaune-kun is just so...gaaah!" The Jaune fangirl squeed, clutching a chocolate box to her chest. "I wish he'd sweep me up into his arms..."

"I don't know whether to call that creepy or corny..." Jaune muttered, shuddering.

"I heard he was going out with that Nikos girl." The other girl, a Winter fangirl, scoffed. "Dream on..."  
"Even having him just _talk to me_ would be enough..."

"And besides, Winter-sempai's better." The other fangirl took out a Winter plushie, sighing dreamily at it. "She's just so...lady-like, and polite...and not to mention, she's got a _great_ rack..."

Winter blushed at the lewd comment. "W-what..."  
"If only Winter-sempai would notice me..."

"If only _Jaune-kun_ would notice me..."

Both fangirls sighed longingly before walking straight past the objects of their affection. When they were out of earshot, Jaune looked up.

"Okay, it's safe."  
"J-Jaune..." Winter inquired plaintively, gazing at her chest. "I-Is my chest really so..._attractive_?"

"Doesn't matter right now." The knight sighed, before smelling something. "Winter, is that perfume?"  
"Why?" The lady blinked. "Is that-"  
"Crap." Jaune blanched behind his mask. "If my hunch is right, they'll smell you from a mile aw-"  
"Well, well, if it isn't Winter Schnee. That perfume fits you, by the way."

Winter froze. She looked behind her to see Russell, grinning at her lecherously.

"Hey, _babe_. So. You look lonely." Russell advanced towards her. "Wanna be my-"  
"Hey." Jaune stepped in front of her. "Back off, you-"  
"No, let me." Winter held Jaune back with her hand. "I may not be able to handle a horde, but I can handle one."  
"Oh, who's this? Your boyfriend?"  
"No. Though I'm sure you'd wish to be, wouldn't you?" Winter calmly exhaled, before snapping her fingers.

Russell tilted his head.

"What's that supposed to-"

Suddenly, he felt a searing heat grow in his groin area.

"What the-" He looked down, to find the source of heat.

A look of shock grew on his face, as he realised his pants were on fire.

"GAH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" The would-be-pervert fled, patting out his trousers on the way. Winter sighed, shaking her head and wiping her hand with a handkerchief as if to get the taint off of her fingers.

"That was utterly improper and disgusting."

Jaune stared at her.

"Is your Semblance fire control or something?"  
"Temperature, actually." The lady explained. "I can finely control the temperature of an object or area- whether to increase the temperature of the air around me by a miniscule amount, or to decrease something rapidly to freezing point.

I am unsurprised that you are unaware of it- I haven't been back to Beacon for a while."

"That's cool..." The knight muttered, nodding.

"Thank you." Winter smiled at him, before sweeping some more dust off of her clothes. "Shall we get going?"  
"Of course.

Now...now we just have to worry about the canteen." Shuddering briefly, Jaune mustered his resolve and began moving towards the canteen with trepidation, Winter following him closely and pulling down her hood.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at Vale..._

'_Jaune-kun will likely prefer something home-cooked...maybe a pasta, of some sort..._' Pyrrha mused as she looked through shelves at the local grocery and added several ingredients to her basket.

"And of course, I may have to dislodge his admirers once I get back to the dorm." The spearmaiden made a mental note of doing so, making sure to add it to her to-do list, next to 'ask Jaune out' and 'clean her weapons'.

"I find it somewhat...disappointing that his stalkers get far more luck with him than I..." Pyrrha mused sadly to herself as she made for the register, imagining just what kind of insanity he must have been going through at that moment in time.

...

Later, after she'd bought what she needed, Pyrrha calmly strolled out of the grocery, confidently strolling across the plazas of the shopping center, looking around her.

The entire shopping center was dollied up in Valentine's decor- hearts, cherubs and all- with signs advertising couples' events at various venues in Vale. Even the shops were spreading the love, so to speak, from sweet shops selling sugary pink hearts and boxes of chocolate, to bookstores hawking terrible paranormal romances that no reputable shop would be able to sell any other time of the year.

And everywhere around her, Pyrrha could see nothing but couples- couples holding hands, couples kissing, couples embracing. She couldn't help but feel envious- they hadn't had their lovers constantly intervened with when they tried to ask them out.

It was a great irony, Pyrrha noted, that the girl who was seemingly perfect in every way- body, mind and skill- couldn't ask the one boy she wanted out.

She, of course, shook all thoughts of that out of her head. If she was anything, she was determined- and she would be damned if, even after years of failure, she'd give up when she got this close.

"Today will be the day." Pyrrha promised herself. "I won't lose him anymore, I promise."

The spearmaiden made her way to the food court, waiting for Melanie and her other companions to show up.

This would be the year, Pyrrha resolved.

This would be the year where she finally got Jaune to go out with her. Cliché or not, she'd been waiting too long for this.

"And let nothing stand in my way." The spearmaiden muttered, as Minako showed up, tilting her head.

"Pyrrha, what's up?"  
"I've decided." Pyrrha declared.

"I'm going to step up my pursuit of Jaune-kun."

Minako smirked. She knew she'd say that.

And she was ready for the challenge.

"Well. Then this rivalry just got a _whole_ lot more interesting~"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: And so, next time, Winter and Jaune's wonderful adventure to the canteen will continue! And what lies next in the quest for both girls to acquire their beloved Jaune's affections? Find out next time!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, reviews, criticisms and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	46. Weiss Reacts Valentine's Special, Part 2

**The Weiss Reacts Valentine's Special, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! The nonsense continues! Pyrrha and Minako are sharing a vaguely homoerotic rivalry! Winter and Jaune have a vaguely shippy adventure into the canteen! Stuff happens! Things! Woo! Yeah! WAHAHAHAA! Insanity! It's beautiful! It's BEAUTIFUL!**

**Ahem. Anyway, let's get this chapter on the road, eh? You must be tired of my ranting by now.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Winter would be Ms. Fanservice and wear more French maid costumes and skintight catsuits.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Pyrrha tilted her head.

"Has it?"  
"Mhm." Minako smirked. "Now I get to see how you _really_ are. How far you'll go to get your man."

"Jaune-kun means a lot to me, Minako." The spearmaiden stated calmly. "And...I won't lose to you. Or anyone else."  
"So you won't." The girl sighed, sitting opposite her. "So, what did you get?"  
"Ingredients to make Jaune-kun a meal. " Pyrrha stated, matter-of-factly. "I intend to give him the best possible Valentine's day gift possible."  
"Ah." She nodded. "Through his stomach, huh?"  
"If you're implying the only reason I am doing this is to earn his love, you are wrong.

I am doing it because he is a good friend of mine." Pyrrha calmly reproached her. "I've tried to woo him long enough that if cooking didn't work three years ago, it won't now."

Minako frowns.

"You...really do love him."

"Which is why I'm determined not to lose." Pyrrha stood up. "If you excuse me, I must go to the restroom. Please guard my stuff."  
"No problem." Minako waved at her as she walked off.

When she was out of earshot, the girl began panicking.

"Dammit, she's a REALLY tough cookie! How am I going to get Jaune against that?! She's _super_ dedicated to him! She's like a new Velvet, only without the stalking! I think."

She sighed, thinking carefully. "And this manga I bought him probably won't get me noticed, either...

Wait, wait! Dedication...I should use Cybele to charm him!" Minako snapped her fingers.

"A little Sexy Dance and he'll notice me _just_ fine...though I should probably throw Pyrrha a bone." She nodded, rubbing her chin.

"Hm...Pyrrha's not too bad, actually." The girl mused, her cheeks rouging a little from her thoughts. "I-I mean, not that I'd consider it, but when you get down to it, she's a sweet girl, great physique and she's got a nice a-"

"Hello, Minako!" Melanie interrupted her train of thought, waving at her as she lugged several bags of sewing material back from the shops.

"Oh! Hi! What's up?"  
"I finally got the stuff for Cardin," she explained. "If you guys want to have lunch or hang out or-"  
"No, it's fine. I wanna go back to Beacon." Minako requested, chuckling somewhat ominously.

"There's something I need to..._ahem_, test."

Melanie squinted, staring at her suspiciously. "Test? The only people who say it like that are Blake when she wants to do something stupid with her giant robots, Yang before _someone_ inevitably ends up naked, and Ren before someone ends up caked in maple syrup."

"Eheheheheh..." Minako winked mischievously. "Not that kind of testing~"  
"What did I miss?" Pyrrha inquired, rather flatly. Melanie almost jumped- she'd come up from behind her without her even noticing.

"Nothing~"

"Oh." The spearmaiden nodded. "We should head back to Beacon soon. I wish to make sure Jaune hasn't been crowded by fangirls."

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Beacon..._

"Aaaaaah crap." Jaune pulled his mask down further over his head to make sure nobody saw him. Winter unconsciously pulled herself closer to Jaune, pulling on his sleeve slightly. "This is not good."

The canteen was teeming with fangirls that crowded around the pair without realising they were the objects of their affections. The vending machines were crowded with people lining up to buy chocolates and sweets to give to their sweethearts- Jaune, Winter, or otherwise- and the counter on the other side, where Jaune desired to buy some sandwiches for the rest of the day, had the Yang Xiao Long Appreciation Club hounding them for cookies- indeed, the last thing Jaune really wanted to see were _dakimakura_ of Yang being held up in the canteen to protest a lack of Yang-dedicated cakes and biscuits.

Especially when said _dakimakura_ didn't exactly show Yang in the most modest- by which we mean _clothed_\- manner in the world.

"If we drop our disguises, they'll swarm on us like a horde of locusts..." The knight muttered, tightening the strap by which his mask was held on his face.

"Indeed..." Winter nodded, holding him slightly tighter.

"H-hey! Easy! You're kinda crushing me..."  
"S-sorry." The lady relinquished her grip, patting his sleeve. "You're the expert in escaping your admirers. How should we proceed?"  
"Uh...hm. I believe we should...carefully push our way through the crowd. Act natural.

Act like we're obsessed...with ourselves. And yes, I recognise how stupidly narcissistic that sounds..."

Winter complied. "Understood. Lead the way, Mister Arc."

Jaune took her hand- ignoring how tightly she was gripping onto him, or how soft her hands felt- and slowly guided her through the crowd, trying to keep his mask on and her face unrecognisable.

Meanwhile, the canteen teemed with fangirls and fanboys.

"Maaaan..." A Yang fanboy sighed. "I wish Yang would go out with me...she's just so-"  
"No way!" A Winter fangirl crossed her arms. "She's not that sexy. Besides, Winter's _much_ better looking than h-"  
"What did you say?"

Both admirers looked behind them to see Yang herself, crossing her arms, a vein in her temple twitching.

The Winter fangirl patted her 'No.1 Winter Fangirl' badge proudly. "Winter is hotter!"

"...d-dammit, I will _RECLAIM THE SEXY._" Yang declared defiantly. "I-I'm the Ms. Fanservice around here! _I_ should have a horde of fangirls and fanboys devoted to my awesomeness!

I-It's not fair..." The brawler sniffled. "I-It's just not fair..."  
Winter tilted her head at the display.

"Is Yang entirely okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah, she just has this whole thing about being sexy and being a pervert." Jaune waved her off. "She'll be fine."

"Oh." The lady nodded, still staring at Yang ranting. "I still don't see why that's such a big deal."  
"Don't ask, your sanity is better preserved that way."

"True point-gah!" Winter suddenly tripped on a conveniently placed pole holding up a poster of Winter in a swimsuit. Jaune instinctively caught her, pulling himself close to the ground- and his face very close to hers.

"M-Mister Arc..." The lady blushed, looking into his eyes for a moment before shiftily looking away.

"Huh?" Jaune appeared confused and oblivious. "What?"  
"...y-your mask is falling."  
"W-what?!" The knight whipped his head up, his mask flying off, just as several fangirls and fanboys stared at him. Winter's hood also slipped off as Jaune whipped her upright in shock.

"JAUNE-KUN! WINTER-SEMPAI!"

"H-he's with Winter?!"  
"Q-Quickly, get them!"

"Ah, crap." Jaune sighed, closing his eyes.  
Winter stared around at the slowly advancing group. She placed her back to Jaune's, instinctively reaching for her weapon only to remember she'd left it at her dorm- Jaune, presumably, made the same mistake judging by the exclamation of 'crap' under his breath.

"Are we surrounded?"  
"Yep." Jaune stated morosely, looking for any way to escape. Their admirers slowly closed in around them, holding up their hands to grab them while drooling and chanting their names.

"We are _absolutely screwed._"

* * *

_Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon..._

Pyrrha calmly climbed into her dorm through the window- the best way to get in on a day like Valentine's Day- to see Ren and Nora shoving tables and chairs behind the dorm door and Miltiades shaking her head and huddling her knees in terror.

"S-so many..." The girl in red muttered. "So many fangirls..."

Pyrrha brushed a strand of red hair out of her eyes, before turning to Ren.

"I'm guessing they're all trying to squeeze into the dorm to see if Jaune's there?"

"You got it!" Nora responded, straining from shoving a giant sloth plushie as one of the obstacles to the fangirls "They're all here, looking for him!"

"We've been holding the fort for hours." Ren sighed. "We won't hold much longer, judging by the volume of squeeing and whining from the other side of that door."

Outside, the fangirls could be heard chanting 'We want Jaune-kun!' repeatedly. Pyrrha shut her eyes, sighing.

"Give me a second." She rooted inside her cabinet, before taking out a Jaune plushie and a can of Jaune's favourite cologne.

Ren raised an eyebrow at the bottle of cologne. "How do you-"  
"Move. I'll clear the horde." Pyrrha commanded calmly. Ren and Nora shared a look, before moving the chairs out of the way and allowing Pyrrha to open the door and hurl the Jaune plushie out, before quickly shutting it again.

Shortly, the squeeing dispersed. Miltiades lifted her head from her corner of woe and looked over to the door. Pyrrha sighed, opening the door to see a large crowd of Jaune stalkers gathered in a niche away from the main corridor's path, raising the cologne-smelling doll as if it were a holy artifact.

Pyrrha resisted the temptation to follow them in doing so, instead turning to Ren.

"Do you know where Jaune is?"  
"He went to the canteen to get some supplies for the rest of the day." Ren responded. "We don't know where he is right now."

"I see." The spearmaiden adjusted her jacket and grabbed Milos and Akouo, slinging her shield on her arm.

"Very well then, I'll go check on him. Make sure nobody gets into my cabinet while I'm gone." With that, Pyrrha set off to the canteen to rescue her teammate. Miltiades stood up, scratching her head.

"Why doesn't she want anyone to look in her cabinet?"  
"You _don't_ want to know." Ren cautioned her. "I had a look myself, and to this day what I found inside there _still_ haunts my mind.

And I've watched Puella Magi AND Evangelion, back to back, without being mentally scarred."

"Oh dear." Miltiades instinctively flinched away from the cabinet labelled 'Pyrrha Nikos' .

Nora giggled.

"I don't see what the big deal about that cabinet is! I've seen it too, Renny, and-"  
"NORA. NOT A WORD." The gunslinger cut her off, a haunted look appearing on his face.

The berserker whimpered, slumping. "Yes, Renny..."

_Meanwhile, in the canteen..._

Jaune and Winter held their ground against the hordes of their admirers, using chairs they'd managed to grab, poking the hordes back with the hordes of the legs of their seats.

The knight looked around for a path of least resistance, a path where he could push through the crowd and, hopefully, not get caught and pulled into the blob to be fawned upon and ravished.

'_Oh maaan..._' Jaune beat back one of his admirers' hands, panicking. _'I'm so screwed!_

_At least my sisters know what to do if I die- Lucina gets Crocea Mors, my manga goes to Yang, and the rest of my things go to my other sister. _

_On the plus side...maybe Minako might come and save us...yes, that'd be nice, having Minako around right now._

_Wait, Minako? What?_' Jaune blinked, confused. _'...wait, why am I think how nice her legs lo-dammit, Jaune, no time to be distracted!"_

The knight shook the thought of her legs out of his head, before continuing to beat their stalkers back.

Winter grasped his shoulder tightly, signalling him.

"Yes?"

"I think there's a path out of here, but we're going to need to push through it!" The lady called out, nodding towards an area in the crowd where there seemed to be less people, with a small parting leading straight to an open window.

Jaune shrugged. "Well, we don't know what else to do, so let's go!"

Whirling around, Winter and Jaune linked arms, before pushing through the crowd with their chairs, shoving the horde aside.

"LOVE ME, JAUNE-KUN!"

"WINTER-SEMPAI, NOTICE ME!"

"I WANT BOTH OF THEM!"

'_We're so close!_' Jaune could just see the window right in front of them preparing to jump through it when his leg was caught by someone- he couldn't see who, but they were dragging him back.

"I GOT JAUNE! HELP ME PULL!"  
"Crap! I-I'm gonna-"  
"Not on my watch, Mister Arc."

Winter, who had managed to get to the window, grabbed his other hand with hers, before snapping her fingers.

The presence grasping him let go, and he could hear them squeal in pain, presumably from receiving a sudden burn, allowing him to tumble forward into Winter. She caught him, but tumbled out of the window, just as the horde gathered in front of the window, looking down.

"AH!" Jaune yelped just before his face was crushed into Winter's considerable chest as she put herself underneath him to absorb the impact.

"Never fear, my beloved pupils!"

Suddenly, both students were caught in the arms of Professor Peter Port, riding on the back of his Boarbartusk mount Edgar, before they could fall completely to the ground.

"Professor!" Winter shouted, surprised and glad for the save. "H-how did you-"  
"Ozpin had me ride out on patrol today, to ensure nobody was injured during the festivities of the festival of love, dear Winter!" Port announced proudly, before lowering the students down onto the ground.  
"It seems he was wise to!"

Jaune was relinquished from his awkward positioning and pulled himself away from Winter, dusting himself off.

"T-thanks, sir." The knight rubbed the back of his head, blushing slightly.

"It was my pleasure! Now, if you excuse me, I have a patrol to continue!" Port whipped the reins of his mount, and both rode off and away as Winter and Jaune stood there, surprised at their luck.

"Wow. " The lady twiddled her fingers, somewhat uncharacteristically awkwardly, finally remembering where Jaune's head had been during their fall. "...I...um."

"...l-let's just go. I know a secret way up to my dorm." Jaune offered her his hand. Winter smiled at him, taking it.

"Y-yes. Of course! We should leave before we're pursued! Excellent thinking..."

With that, the pair ran off, thankful for their sudden escape.

* * *

_Meanwhile, behind a column in the canteen..._

Minako sighed, a blue-skinned, horned woman clothed in little more than white strips of cloth floating above her, and her Evoker in hand.

"Dammit." The girl sighed. "I should've known Sexy Dance wouldn't work...maybe Yang tried it on him already or something..."

Minako dismissed her Persona, holstering her Evoker and rubbing her chin.

"Hm...maybe...if I can beat Pyrrha to Jaune, I can get him on a date with me! Yes, that's it!" Minako snapped her fingers, looking around to make sure nobody got her idea.

Thankfully, the admirers in the canteen were too busy moping about losing the chance to be with their object of affection, leaving Minako free reign.

She smiled, pumping her fist. "I still have a chance!"

With that, she ran towards the JNPR dorm, hoping to beat Pyrrha there.

_Meanwhile, just in front of the JNPR dorm..._

Pyrrha exhaled, walking back from the canteen- nothing but depressed Jaune fangirls and fanboys there, so he must have escaped successfully.

Of course, from what she knew of him, he would have already gotten back safely.

She smiled. This was her chance.

'_Finally...now I will have Jaune-kun all to myself..._'

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Pyrrha looked up from her thoughts to see Minako, panting heavily, clutching her knees.

"I-I'm going out with Jaune!"  
"Minako-san." Pyrrha stood up straight, pulling out Milo. "I...won't let you win.

I've been waiting three years for this chance. I apologise duly."  
Minako smiled. _Finally_, _a challenge._

"So. You won't let up, huh?"  
"No. Never." The spearmaiden placed Akouo in front of herself, ready to fight.

"Okay." The girl pulled out her Evoker, pointing it at her head.

"This means I won't give up either! I guess we'll just have to settle this with a duel!

Bringer of death, I call thee from the sea of my soul to vanquish my rivals! Arise, THANATOS!", she cried, and pulled the trigger.

An explosion of blue appeared behind her, as a swordsman clad in black, with a set of coffin-shaped shields floating around him linked by chains, his head obscured by a sinister, skeletal helmet appeared behind her.

And it _spoke._

"I am thou, and thou art I! From the echoing depths of your soul I emerge. I am the child of Night and Darkness, and stand unopposed, neither by the living nor the dying! I am Thanatos, Harbinger of Death!"

Pyrrha merely stared down her opponent, gripping Milo and Akouo tightly.

She refused to back down. Not now.

"And I am Pyrrha Nikos." The spearmaiden called out, calmly yet firmly. "That is all you need to know."

Thanatos let out a roar, before flying at Pyrrha, sword extended. Pyrrha held her position, preparing to thrust her spear at the Persona, when-

"ENOUGH!"

Minako's concentration was broken by the yell, forcing Thanatos to disintegrate into nothing more than blue particles that washed over Pyrrha. Pyrrha staggered slightly, shaking her head.

Both girls turned to Winter, who was standing in the doorway of JNPR dorm, frowning.

"What kind of nonsense is this?"

"We were attempting to decide who gets to ask Jaune out to dinner tonight through a duel." Pyrrha explained.

"That I was going to win." Minako added smugly.

Pyrrha shot her a glare. "Nowhere near close."

Winter tapped her chin, before snapping her fingers.

"That settles it."  
"Huh?" Both girls looked to each other.

"Since you all want to go have dinner with Jaune, and I owe him a dinner for protecting me from my stalkers, we are ALL going to dinner together!"

Pyrrha blinked.

"What."

"Whaaaa?" Minako tilted her head, confused. "B-but that's not what we-"

"We're all friends." Winter smiled happily, before grabbing both of their arms with her right arm. "Come on, they'll be expecting in us in an hour!"

"I don't even..." The brown-haired girl blinked, uncomprehending of what just happened.

Pyrrha looked dismayed. "D-did we just..."

Jaune was grabbed by Winter too, as the dignified heiress dragged them out of the dorm.

Nora and Miltiades looked on in shock.

"D-did Jaune just..." The girl in red began, her mouth slightly agape. "D-did Jaune just score a _triple date_?!"

"I think he did." Ren commented, chuckling. "Good Dust, he didn't even _mean_ to. And I don't think Winter realised it, either.

That dinner date ought to be awkward."

* * *

_Meanwhile, outside Beacon..._

Ruby and Weiss were walking leisurely just outside the gates after a fruitful day on a Valentine's date.

"That was awesome~" Ruby nuzzled Weiss closely, sighing happily.

"Heh. Don't expect me to splurge so much next time, you dunce." The heiress chuckled jokingly. "It's only because you wanted so many cookies that we went to the Furukawa Bakery for once, and not the Schnee Bakery."

"I don't care." The reaper gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. "That was the best Valentine's day date ever!"

"Indeed it was-"

Weiss and Ruby, however, were interrupted by Winter dragging a dumbstruck Pyrrha, Minako and Jaune past them, humming calmly to herself.

They stared as the strange ensemble walked past, unaware of the duo.

Weiss blinked, dumbfounded. Then, her expression hardened.

"Oh, what did Xiao Long do _this time..._"The heiress grumbled and began moving swiftly to the campus, relinquishing her girlfriend to storm ahead.

Ruby pouted, before running towards her.

"W-wait! H-how do you know this is Yang's fault?!"

"I doubt my _sister_ would choose to go out with that Arc idiot without some sort of antic behind it! E-even if he is _stupidly_ attractive...t-to some people! N-not that I like him, o-or anything!"

Needless to say, Yang had a field day attempting to explain to a very irritated Weiss that, no, she was not responsible for Winter dragging Jaune on a date with two other girls.

Not that Weiss believed her.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Hahahahaha, gotcha there with the Persona summoning. Don't worry, Pyrrha and Minako will get their days. Eventually.**

**Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to...*Drumroll*...Agents of Beacon! Yes! At long bloody last, an actual reaction to fanfiction! I know, it's been a long time, right?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts, comments and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	47. Special Chapter: Agents of Beacon!

**Weiss Reacts to Agents of Beacon!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, I TOTALLY forgot to do this, but, time for a shameless plug- I-I mean, you guys should totally read ****The Layman's ****'Vivi's Adorable Misadventure'- about Vivi, badass plushie at law, falling into the canon RWBY- and ****The Zombineer's**** 'The Antic Order'- based on the Reactsverse, but with 100% less canon-ignorance! And now for more shameless plugs! We're going to react to ****Moczo and RadiantBeam's ****Agents of Beacon AU! If you guys are reading this right now, you're awesome!**

**With that in mind, let's end this shameless plugging and start with the chapter already!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Winter/Jaune would be canon, just to troll all the Pyrrha/Weiss x Jaune shippers.**

**The Agents of Beacon AU belongs to ****Moczo and RadiantBeam.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Reeeennny..." Nora crawled up to Ren's side, nuzzling her head into his neck.

Ren blushed slightly, shuddering at her touch. "Y-Yes, Nora?"  
"Have you ever wondered what'd be like to have a superhero team in Beacon?"

"...no, not really." Ren shook his head. "N-Nora, do you mind not rubbing your cheek so close to my neck like that?"

"Sooooorry..." The berserker pouted, sighing as she did so. "Are you working on something?"

Ren nodded, reading the screen.

"Yeah. The Antic Order sent me a profile of some girl called...Tsumugi Kotobuki? Apparently she's a _high-value_ asset to the Order that we have to recruit ASAP or something."

"...wasn't she one of those girls from Afterschool Tea-Time that beat Blake badly or something?" Nora tilted her head, curious.

The gunslinger shrugged. "Haven't watched K-On, so I wouldn't know."

"But seriously, Renny! Wouldn't it be _cool_ if we had a superhero team?"

"I suppose, but what do you mean by that?" Ren scratched his head, closing the window on his screen. "I mean, Semblances are superpower-esque and all, and we do all wear silly costumes-"  
"Yeah, but you know, I mean heroes like Thor and stuff!"

"...pretty sure that's a fic somewhere on the Interwebs."

"What about stuff where you get stuff like, you know, Harry Dresden and things?" Nora inquired, tilting her head.

"...what, with vampires and angels and wizards in the modern day?"  
"Of course! That sounds awesome." Ren smiled a little. "Perhaps I'll look that up for-"

Suddenly, team RWBY burst into the dorm, slamming the door behind them and panting, shaking their heads. Blake had a shaken expression on her face, while Yang appeared to be traumatised by something unknown to the pair in the dorm.

Ren raised an eyebrow, perplexed. "What the-"  
"Professor Faust." Yang interrupted him with fear in her trembling voice.

Ren nodded quickly. "Understandable. Get comfy- Jaune's out doing some homework in the library and Pyrrha's doing...I don't know and I don't _want_ to know."

Weiss walked over, slumping onto one of the couches in the dorm and wiping her brow.

"That was...I'm surprised _Yang_ of all people spared me that fate..."

"I'm sorry, Weiss, but not even _you_ deserve that fate."

"I'm not sure whether to feel honoured or offended." Weiss remarked drily.

Ruby slumped next to her, horrified. "S-so...many...t-tentacles..."

"And THIS is why you don't attempt to summon freaking _Cthulhu _into Beacon to _study _him..." Blake muttered. "I mean, I've done some seriously STUPID things in the pursuit of science, but..."

"So." Ren looked around at everyone. "You, uh, you guys want to go find a fanfic series about you guys being modern wizards?"  
Weiss shrugged. "Not like we're going anywhere with a tentacled _abomination_ rampaging around the corridors until Miss Lupin and Tukson can subdue it..."  
"You seriously think _Miss Lupin and Tukson_ can put _Cthulhu _down?!" Ruby stared at her.  
"She has a point." Yang raised a finger. "Not like she's inexperienced in dealing with shenanigans from the rest of the school."

Blake shrugged. "Well, I'm fresh off a binge of Marvel movies and I'm looking for things to read, so what the heck, I'm in."

"Okay." Ren shrugged. "Let's see if those fics actua-oh. They do!"  
The catgirl raised an eyebrow. "What, seriously?"  
"Apparently they're called 'Agents of Beacon' or something like that." Ren remarked. "So, we gonna read them?"

"Wait, wait, wait." Yang raised a finger inquiringly. "Half of them aren't even marked as 'Agents of Beacon'. How'd you-"  
"Some guy marked them as part of the AU in his community. Pretty convenient- and easy asspull for Elf, too." Ren mused.

"Sounds fun." Ruby shoved a cookie into her mouth, moving over to the table. "Sure, bring it up!"

* * *

_The Best Laid Plans_

Ren batted his eyelids. "You know, I'm not surprised they started out with that."  
"Huh, your typical human-hating psycho _youkai_." Blake rubbed her chin. "You know, I'm too used to _yuki-onna_ being slightly less antagonistic than that.

I've got to stop reading that Rosario manga."

Ruby cheered. "I'm a total badass! Yeah! And I made big boom-booms!"

Nora pouted, whimpering slightly. "W-where am I?! Why can't I make big explosions?!"

"Because you're not IN the story, you moron." Weiss snapped irritably.

Yang chuckled. "Well, at least Weiss being part _yuki-onna_ makes sense. She's _Weiss cold_ enough. Get i-OW!"

The heiress rubbed her palm, grumbling and trembling. "Idiot. Say that again and I'll punch you in the gut."

"But the way you totally took him out was completely _ice cold_..." The brawler giggled. "Oh, man, I miss making puns..."

"...tch..." Weiss shook her head. "Just continue to the next oneshot before I'm tempted to execute Yang for treason."

"If you do, try to let her bleed on the red couch." Ren remarked drily before skipping to the next oneshot.

"Finally!" Yang sighed in relief. "Something with me in it!"  
"You're _such_ a narcissist." Weiss grumbled. "You'd read anything if your name was on it."

"What can I say? I'm just that _sexy_~" Yang winked sultrily.  
The heiress smirked. "Winter says otherwise."  
"DON'T YOU DARE BRING HER UP I WILL RECLAIM THE SEXY DAMMIT"

...

_Crash and Burn_

"...what a _bastard_." Yang commented, shocked at the monster hunter's depravity within the fic she was reading. "Seriously, what kind of a sick monster would hunt down innocent people for _fun_?!"  
"Siegmund." Weiss responded without missing a beat.

Yang blinked, for a moment unable to formulate a response. "...okay, I can't question that."

"Who would be able to?" Blake inquired. "And daaaaamn, I'm awesome. I'm a freaking _were-leopard!_

I mean, still not as badass as spawning drills out of nowhere, but it's a start."  
"Icefire's not the manly way!" Nora looked offended- although knowing Nora, it wasn't for the same reason Yang was. "That's just plain unfair!

A REAL hunter would fight the dragon with his bare hands and win by taming the dragon with sheer strength! Or break his knees and THEN make him submit!"  
"...Nora, I don't think that's how people do it to dragons-"  
"My grandpa did it to a Fafnir!" The berserker complained. "He even rode it around!"

Weiss rolled her eyes, sighing at Nora's comment. "Why am I not surprised that the _Valkyrie_ family comes up with stunts nobody should survive but they _somehow_ do?"  
"Ooh!" Nora pointed a quivering finger towards the screen. "That one has me in it! And Ren!

It sounds awesome!"  
Weiss facepalmed, exasperated.

"I think I want to take my chances with Cthulhu or whatever Dust-forsaken tentacled monstrosity that's rampaging outside.

It's either that or murdering Yang and Nora for being morons..."

Ren shrugged.

"Like I said, try to keep it off my carpet."

"S-shut up, Ren."

...

_For Better or Norse_

"Thrice-damned Wi-" Yang snickered, covering her mouth. "Okay, I'll admit, that was gold."

"Stupid Cardin, kill-stealing me." Ren grumbled. "I could've handled that myself."

"You get _shot_ and nearly taken up by an insane psychopomp and you care about being _killstolen_?!" Weiss stared at Ren, shocked.

He shrugged, giving her a puzzled expression. "What, you thought I was actually going to die in that story?"

Nora, meanwhile, was cheering happily.

"IAMACOMPLETEBADASSOHMYDUSTFINALLYITSAWESOMEYAYIMACOMPLETEHAMIVEALWAYSWANTEDTOBEACOMPLETEHAMPLEASEWRITERHAVEMYBABIES"

"If you aren't having Ren's already." Yang winked at her, chuckling. "Ge-OW!"

She pouted, glaring at Weiss as she rubbed the sore back of her head. "Quit that!"

"Quit being a pervert."

"Huh. She broke Cardin's legs." Blake shrugged. "If this was canon-us reading this, we'd feel happy about that.

Eh. And as usual, Nora screws up and _now_ she's stuck on Earth."  
"IMSOAWESOMEY-wait what?!" Nora stared at the screen, shocked. "Y-you mean I don't get to drink with the mightiest of heroes and fight for the rest of my eternal life?!"

"Heh. Stuck with an insane psychopomp who wants you to die." Weiss chuckled. "Karma, don't you think?"  
Yang shrugged. "They'll probably end up making superpowered dragon-valkyrie babies a-"

She was cut off by being punched in the gut by an exasperated Weiss.

"QUIT BEING A PERVERT, YOU MORON."  
"Oww..."

Ren blushed. "Y-Yang! N-not the time and place!"  
"Why?" Nora tilted her head, curious. "I-I wouldn't mind-"

"L-let's just skip to the next story already!" The gunslinger was surprisingly sweaty from the thought.

Blake sighed. "Ah...young love-"  
"Y-you keep quiet, Blake!"

* * *

_Embers_

Weiss and Yang both looked at each other, before staring at the screen in shock.

"WHAT?!" They yelled in unison.

"M-me?! Love _Weiss_?!" Yang shook her head profusely. "N-no way!"

"I-I would _never_ fall in love with that pervert!"  
"I-I don't even LIKE tsunderes!"

Ren chuckled. "Boy, you two seem to be denying it rather vehemently-"  
"That's because it's true!" Weiss snapped. "Don't you _dare_ try to bring in your stupid shipping into this!"  
"Weiss is _mine!_" Ruby squeaked out childishly, hugging her girlfriend's arm. "MINE!"  
The brawler folded her arms. "Besides. Weiss i-isn't my type!"  
"Then what _is_ your type?" Blake responded, raising her eyebrow.

"Tall, black-haired and with a nice, curvy _Bellabooty~_"  
Blake blushed profusely, embarrassed, before punching her in the gut. "D-don't say it like that!"  
"Ow..." Yang whimpered. "Why is everyone punching me today..."

Weiss snapped at her again. "BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING PERVERTED THINGS!"

"I can't help it!" The brawler protested. "A girl has _needs_!"

"Keep your _needs_ to yourself." Ren retorted, sighing.

Nora tilted her head, looking between Weiss and Yang. She rubbed her chin, before announcing her conclusion.

"Yep, I can totally see you both being a couple! Weiss being all _tsundere_, Yang being the idiot pervert, it-OOWIE REEEEEEN"

Weiss and Yang both rubbed her hands, having simultaneously punched Nora on her arms.

"For once, you actually did something intelligent." The heiress remarked.

"I could say the same for you." The brawler shot back.

"Reeeen..." Nora whined. "They're meaaaanies..."

Ruby, meanwhile, just sat there and popped cookies into her mouth, enjoying the show.

...

_Fog of War_

Blake shrugged. "Redshirts ahoy."

"Can't tell what this one is." Yang rubbed her chin, thinking. "Sounds like a _chupacabra_ or something."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "Since when do _chupacabras_ have scales?"  
"I dunno! Just a guess!"

"I'm calling it was a _doppelganger._" Weiss suggested. "Or a changeling."  
"Nah, changelings only replace babies. Unless we're talking about that one role-playing game."

"Point taken."

Ren scrolled down, reading to the part where the group found out, for lack of a better term, that they had been hoodwinked.

"...heh. Skinwalkers. Classy."

"Dunno why they didn't just send _Nora_ to deal with it." Weiss pointed out. "I mean, she IS a scion of a god and all."  
"My awesomeness does NOT deserve to be wasted on a mere _skinchanger_!" The berserker protested. "Neither does my hamminess, for that matter."

"As always, Ozpin is a complete badass." Blake whistled. "Seriously, messing with a possibly aeons-old monster by firing silver bullets at it.

Classy."  
"This _is_ Ozpin we're talking about." Ruby pointed out. "But all those _weapons_!"

"Seems this stupid perverted writer got one thing right." The heiress grumbled, watching her girlfriend drool over all the descriptions of guns and weapons.

"A gun fetish?" Yang shrugged. "I've seen worse."

Ren chuckled. "What, so him shipping you and Yang together makes him _stupid and perverted_?"  
"Y-You know _nothing!_"

The catgirl sighed, clapping.

"And, of course, nothing like dispatching a monster with a miniature nuke.

Still needs more drills."  
"And you, you have to QUIT WITH THE DRILLS." The heiress snapped. "What is wrong with you?!"  
"We went over this before, Weiss, drills are manly, and they will always be manly. I'm not answering that question again."  
...

_Breaking the Ice_

"I REFUSE TO READ THIS IF I GET PAIRED WITH YANG" Weiss yelled. "THAT IS JUST PLAIN SICK AND WRONG"  
Nora bobbed her head along.

"Quit denying your feeeeeelings~"  
"SHUT UP" Yang roared at her. "THAT ISN'T FUNNY"  
"I still don't know why you two are making such a big deal about it." Ren shrugged. "It's just a story."  
"And besides, you wouldn't steal my Weiss away from me, right?" Ruby clung to her tightly, giving Yang a _very_ sinister look.

"Keep your Weiss. I want my _Bellabooty_~"  
"QUIT THAT!" Blake snapped, flustered. "Would you quit flirting with me?!"  
"No~"

The gunslinger sighed. "At least it was tolerable when it was only Pyrrha trying- and failing- to hit on Jaune...

...well, that explains all the sexual harassment complaints."

"A-and what's with the ship tease?!" The heiress complained.

Blake shrugged. "Well, you always complained about all the perverted authors who wanted to pair you with Ruby or Jaune. You got your wish.

Now you're with Yang."

"T-that's no better!" Weiss whined.

"Well, at least I got to kick that sorry douche's backside." Yang whistled. "Man, she had _Siegmund_ vibes. Just..." The brawler shuddered.

"But I do NOT appreciate that kiss at the end!"

"Neither do I!"

Ren sighed. "Are you two going to complain every time he pairs you two together? There's still three fics to go and two of them ship Freezerburn."  
"I think I'll take my chances outside." Weiss stood up to leave when-

"DOWN WITH YOU FOUL BEAST!" That was Tukson, outside, dealing with said foul beast. This yell was followed by an unearthly, demonic screech and what sounded like some sort of incantation to summon a demon or something.

"On second thought I'll stay here." The heiress hastily sat back down.

A bit of ship tease was tolerable if it meant not being eaten by a giant tentacle monster- or _worse_.

...

_Think of the Children_

"So." Yang raised her finger. "Why doesn't Nora just have super dragon-valkyrie babies with Ren again?"  
Ren glared at her. "D-don't say that!"  
Nora tilted her head. "B-but Ren! I _want_ to have your babies..."  
"G-gah! Not you too!"

"Heh. Mighty warrior seed. That just sounds like a line from a terrible lemon." The brawler mused.

Weiss, meanwhile, was too busy twitching at the perverted innuendos throughout the chapter to exact revenge upon Yang.

"Sworn eternally unto purity my _backside_." Yang scoffed. "I _know_ Nora's just waiting for the right opportunity for the Allfather to stop looking and WHAM!"

This time, it was Ren's turn to hit her.

"OW!"

"And I find myself wondering why my character in this AU has the libido of roadkill."

Ruby started laughing. "Milly and Mel as half-succubi? I'll buy it."  
"_Incestuous _half-succubi..." Blake shuddered. "No thank you."

"Good _Dust..._" Yang shuddered at the thought at Ruby and Glynda, together.

Mostly because that would screw up her plans to get Glynda, Ozpin and Cinder into a threesome. But also because Ruby was too _young_ for that, dammit.

"A..." Weiss facepalmed. "Just _how_ desperate is Nora for this to _happen_?!"

"I'm more surprised Ren resisted the temptation of two succubi than that Nora's desperate to have Ren's babies." The brawler shrugged.

"Yang, I swear, you say that _one _more time-" Ren twitched, glaring at her again.  
"You'll jump Nora and _actually _make babies?"

Ren sighed. He knew this trump card would come into use one day.

"Fine, Yang. Since you insist.

Suzumiya.

All I have to say."

Yang's eyes narrowed.

"You _wouldn't._"

"I would." The gunslinger pointed out. "Now shut up about me and Nora having babies!"

"BABIES." Nora uttered in a growl. "BAAAABIES."

Yang crossed her arms. "You're no fun..."

"I don't even want to know who or what this 'Suzumiya' is..." The heiress shook her head for the umpteenth time that day.

She didn't understand how she still hung out with these idiots sometimes.

* * *

_The Ice Queen_

"NONONONONONO" Weiss and Yang both wrenched the mouse out of Ren's hands and clicked it back to the next story.

"What giv-"  
"WE ARE NOT READING ABOUT US PAIRED TOGETHER WITH CREEPY SUCCUBUS TWINS." Weiss pleaded. "I DO NOT CARE WHAT KIND OF INSANITY WE HAVE TO PULL, WE ARE **NOT**."

"J-Just skip to the next story, dammit!" Yang snapped.

Ruby looked disappointed.

"I wanted to read that, you know..."

"SHUT UP RUBY"  
"S-sorry..."

...

_Orange is the new Weiss_

"Well, Sun's a...semi-villain?" Ren raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Okay."  
"And Weiss is racist to Faunus." Blake didn't even bat an eyelid. "What a surprise."  
"I hate it when people do that to me..." The heiress grumbled. "I just hate the _White Fang_. Not the _Faunus, _the _White Fang_. To be fair, they _blew up a train!_"

"The pot calling the kettle black, considering Weiss is whining about Faunus when she's a _youkai_." Yang pointed out. "And yuki-onna aren't exactly _nice_ in this world either."  
"I don't think my story-self is _that_ rational if she fell for _you_ of all people."  
"Point taken."

"...a-and how the hell did Sun just...GAH! That's just stupid!" Weiss complained. "There is no way he'd be easily able to do that! What?!"

"He IS fast." Nora pointed out. "Not exactly something _new_."

"STILL!"  
"...Ruby and Ozpin playing the dragon card?" Blake tilted her head. "Wait, hang on, why am I not involved in this? Wouldn't having a Faunus help figure out the whole thing?"  
Ren shrugged. "Conflict of interest? Unfair? Story breaker power? Probably the same reason Nora's not in any of these- a scion of a god would be far too powerful for anyone to fight fairly.

And hey, props to Sun for being a genre-savvy thief! And a fail for Weiss failing to con him."  
"This story is starting to irritate me." The heiress growled, clenching her fists. "Not to mention the constant shipping with Yang..."  
"To be fair, Elf can't complain." Yang pointed out. "He constantly pushes White Rose."

"ENOUGH WITH THE STUPID ELF REFERENCES! I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS STUPID ELFCOLLABORATOR PERSON IS!"

Meanwhile...

Blake rubbed her chin.

"...I'm jealous of whoever made Penny in this timeline." She commented. "I wish I could've made a true AI like that..."  
"Doesn't Norn count?" Ren inquired.  
"She was dumped in Life Dust."

"Point taken."

"...aaaand she beats up the Malachite twins for 'menacing' them." The gunslinger whistled. "Go figure."

Nora raised her hand. "Oh! Oh! Can I leave the review since Yang and Weiss are arguing again?"  
"Eh, sure." Ren handed her the keyboard. "Knock yourself out."

* * *

**From: The Queen of the Castle**

BEST AU EVER I LOVE IT  
NEEDS MORE BROKEN KNEES AND REN-ON-NORA ACTION  
LOVE, NORA

PS: WEISS AND YANG HATE YOU FOR SHIPPING THEM

* * *

Indeed, the afternoon proceeded within JNPR dorm, as the teams were actually unaware that, outside, Tukson and Beth had managed to cast the monster back into its dark, distant realm incomprehensible to human minds.

That, however, is a different story for another time.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, a shout out to both creators of the Agents of Beacon AU for being awesome and a big thank you to them for allowing this chapter to happen!**

**So, next chapter, Ruby Reacts to Pokemon Omega Ruby, Part 2!**

**I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	48. Weiss Reacts to Omega Ruby!

**Weiss Reacts to Pokémon Omega Ruby!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Friendships shall be forged and broken. Love shall be found and lost. War will be declared, and lives will be lost! The very destiny of Vale, Vytal- nay, the WORLD will be decided today! The apocalypse shall descend, and the face of the Reactsverse will be changed-**

**Nah, who am I kidding, we're saving that for the last couple of chapters. This means **_**nothing**_**. My ranting was for nothing! **

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Yang would wear glasses and be a sexy mentor~**

**Pokémon belongs to Nintendo.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

As usual, the afternoons in the RWBY dorm began with a yelp and irritated scream.

"YANG, YOU STUPID PERV" Weiss screamed as Yang put her hands on her hips.

"Heh. In all fairness, she was just too _cute_!"

"We need one of those 'Skippy's List' things for Yang." Ruby stated, sighing. "Isara's mentally _scarred_ because of _that_..."

"In my defence, I didn't know she didn't know _that_!" The brawler protested. "A-and anyway, _what kind of teenager doesn't know that_?!"

The heiress glared at her. "Well, you just found out, didn't you?!"

Yang smirked. "So much the worse for her. She's missing out~"  
"I swear..." Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "If I had a Lien for every time you mentally scarred someone with your pervertedness, I'd double my father's fortune."

"Like I said! Perverted _pride_!" The brawler pumped her fist, taking care to _jiggle_ as much as possible.

Blake averted her eyes, reading her book.

"Yang, _quit that_! T-that's distracting!"

"Ugh." Weiss threw her hands up in exasperation. "There's no getting through her dirty-minded...mind.

Can we find something to do before I'm tempted to tear her to shreds, _please_?!"

Ruby pointed at her SchneeDS. "We could play my Omega Ruby! I haven't touched it in ages..."  
"Good point." Yang nodded. "Maybe Weiss could have a go."  
"Oh _no_. I am _not_ playing that stupid unbalanced game!" The heiress crossed her arms. "No! Absolutely not! Out of the question!"

Blake raised an eyebrow. "How is Pokémon unbalanced?"

"B-because it is! S-stupid! Y-you don't understand a thing about the game!" Weiss snapped irritably.

"You saw me win the Beacon Pokémon League competition, right? The one Ren started?" The catgirl reminded her.

"S-shut up! T-that was completely rigged!"  
Yang folded her arms. "Yeah, Weiss. How is it that Blake understands nothing about the game but you do, even though, if I recall, you ragequit Platinum?"  
Her mischievous smirk grew as Weiss' face reddened, partially from embarrassment and partially from irritation.

"...grah! Ruby, give me that thing, I'll prove that I can play this stupid game!" Weiss snapped, glaring at Yang.

Ruby obliged, passing the console over to Weiss. The heiress gave Yang a steely glare.

"Watch me. I'm going to clear all the remaining Gyms without a ragequit, y-you stupid moron..."

Blake whispered over to the brawler. "How much Lien you bet she'll quit before she even gets to the fun part you get to fight Groudon?"

"Fifty Lien says she quits before she even gets to _starting_ that part." Yang shook her hand.  
"Heh. You have no faith in Weiss~"  
"Her track record isn't exactly _stellar_."

"I HEARD THAT" The heiress scolded, glaring at both of them.

Ruby sighed, rubbing Weiss' shoulders from behind. "So..._moe_...when angry..."  
"S-shut up! S-stupid..." Weiss blushed. "J-just...s-stupid moron with your stupid tsundere fetish..."

"Start the game and save the smut for later-" The brawler remarked wryly.  
"YANG!"

"Sorry~"

* * *

Weiss examined Ruby's party briefly, grumbling.

"Brostomp. Ruby, _Brostomp._" The heiress looked up at her girlfriend, who chuckled nervously.

"I-I thought it was a good idea at the time!"

"Let's see..." Weiss sighed irritably. "You hardly even _used_ your TMs, you moron."  
Ruby rubbed the back of her head, chuckling. "I thought I might save them for when I need them."  
"THEY DON'T HAVE USES ANYMORE, YOU MORON"  
"Oh, they don't?"  
Yang frowned. "You think it might be slightly clearer than usual, what with the lack of numbers next to the items."  
"Point taken."

The heiress rolled her eyes. "Well, no point using them now. I'll leave that to you _after_ I prove I can play Pokémon to this idiotic perv."  
"Gonna take a lot more than fancy talk and knowing some basic skills to prove anything, dear Weiss~" The brawler said teasingly.

"J-just you watch me!" Weiss retorted, before turning back to the game.

"H-heh. A pathetic Machop." The heiress haughtily laughed. "Not a challenge at all! I can easily beat it.

Go, Tail-TAIL_BRO_?! RUBY"  
"Sorry!"

...

"SUCCESS." Weiss held the SchneeDS up as she defeated the Machop. "I HAVE WON."

"So you beat a Machop." Yang clapped. "Congratulations-"  
"S-shut up! That was a HARD task! T-the game constantly screws me over with stupid overpowered AI with stupid OP moves...a-and Brendan! GO AWAY" Weiss screeched at the screen. "I-I can make it back to Petalburg by myself! I don't need to be babysat all the way there!"

Blake sighed, continuing to read her book. "You know, sometimes, watching Weiss try to play games is a lot more entertaining than reading."

Ruby raised her eyebrow. "You mean reading your smut?"  
"I-I've said this before, _Ninjas of Love _is _NOT_ smut! NOT SMUT! THEY MADE IT INTO AN ANIME THAT WASN'T SMUTTY"  
"Fate stay/night was smut and they still made it into an anime." Yang pointed out. "Your point?"  
"IT STILL ISN'T SMUT"  
"...okay, now to _crush_ this fool of a Gym Leader." Weiss began to laugh maniacally. "I don't _care_ if you're my so-called father, Norman, you shall be defeated for the sake of the Holy Schnee Empire!"  
"I thought this was Pokémon, not Civilization-"  
"THE HOLY SCHNEE EMPIRE." The heiress declared proudly.

Ruby cringed. "W-Weiss...you might be going a bit mad here..."  
"Mad? I'm not mad. Of course not! I'm completely sane." Weiss responded, her eyelid twitching.

The catgirl sighed. "Yang, it seems you drove her insane with the desire to prove herself."  
Yang raised an eyebrow. "You blind? She's always like this when we play video games. You were here when she played Awakening."  
"Point taken." Blake chuckled. "I guess we'll just have to watch how far Weiss'll go until she inevitably fails."  
"Go onwards, my beasts of war!" Weiss declared proudly. "GO FORTH AND ANIHILATE MY OPPONENTS!"  
Ruby squeed. "So adorable..."

...

Weiss breathed heavily, staring at the screen for a moment. Then, she smiled triumphantly.

"I _beat_ this supposedly impossible Gym Leader." The heiress declared. "I HAVE BEATEN MY FATHER. I AM VICTORIOUS! VICTORIOUS, I SAY!"

Yang and Blake stared at each other, dumbfounded.

"She actually beat Norman..." The brawler mumbled. "What..."  
The catgirl nodded slowly. "How indeed..."

Weiss glared at the pair.

"You can no longer say I'm terrible at this game. I can actually beat a Gym Leader! I told you it was just because the game was unbalanced!"  
"Or maybe because Ruby raised an OP team and got lucky with half her choices." Yang pointed out.

Weiss scoffed. "Silence, Yang. You are simply unable to accept I actually _won_ something in a video game."  
"As opposed to the thousands of other times you lost epically, my ego needs no stroking." The brawler retorted with a smirk.

"Heh." Weiss exhaled deeply. "Your taunts won't get to me so easily, now that I've proven my ability to win games to you.

Now, the Holy Schnee Inquisition will rise, and my beasts of war will be my weapons and BRENDAN I CAN GET TO MAUVILLE WITHOUT YOUR HELP NOW GO AWAY."  
Ruby sighed happily, placing her hands on her cheeks.

"Weiss is so cute when she goes megalomaniacal..."

"Awww...my little sister's becoming weirder in her perviness!" Yang pumped her fist. "I've taught her well!"  
"If that's how you classify well, I don't want to see how you classify 'badly'." The catgirl remarked.

The brawler pouted. "You don't have to be so _mean_, Blakey..."

* * *

"Excellent." Weiss rubbed her hands together. "I even get a free legendary to smite my enemies with. Even this game recognises my skill!"  
"Or, you know, they gave you one since they changed the plot up by a lot." Yang pointed out helpfully.  
"This Latios will henceforth be the symbol of the power of the Holy Schnee Inquisition!" Weiss declared. "None shall be able to stand in his way!"  
"She realises when some schmuck with an Ice or Dark attack comes, she's doomed, right?" Blake pointed out. Ruby nodded, shrugging.

"Just let her have her fun. This is the first time she's had fun playing a game since Civilization."  
"Point taken." The catgirl shrugged. "Knowing how these usually go, it'll implode soon enough."  
Weiss, meanwhile, was busy laughing maniacally as she trashed her way through Route 119 with her freshly acquired Latios.

"Bow to me, fools! BOW TO ME! WAHAHAHAHA!"

Yang was busy filming the whole thing with her phone. "Hehehehe...I'm going to enjoy showing _this_ to Ren."

"Wahahahahahahwait WHAT?!" The heiress' rampage, rather confusingly enough, was stopped by a lucky critical hit that fainted Latios.  
"HOW?!"  
"Luck of the draw." Blake responded. "It happens."

"Ugh...I'll just have to avenge him! Go, Swellow! Avenge your leader's loss! Destroy that stupid Breloom!" Weiss declared angrily.

"We will have victory-"  
...

"WHAT HOW DID I LOSE" Weiss stared at the screen, not ten minutes later, as she had indeed been booted back to Mauville's Pokémon Center.

Yang was busy laughing, wiping a tear from her eye.

"How many critical hits did you _take _there?!"  
"T-that was ..." The heiress exhaled deeply, closing her eyes. "...a mere minor setback. I was too hubristic.

The Holy Schnee Inquisition will continue fighting on." Weiss sighed, cracking her knuckles. "Let's do this. That Breloom will _pay_ for dishonoring my beasts of war!"

Yang chuckled at Ruby, offering her a handkerchief.

"Rubes, you're drooling."  
"So...moe...must...hug...Weiss..." The reaper slapped the handkerchief away, staring at her girlfriend.

"Now that I have something to crush that stupid fool and _hopefully will NOT have the stupid game hand me five crits in a row, _I might actually get past that stupid part!" The heiress declared proudly.

"Sure, Rubes." Yang remarked drily, nodding slowly. "She is acting _so_ cute right now. I think I might die from the moe."

"I think you might've taught your sister a little _too _well." Blake commented cheerily.

"You _think_?"  
"NOW, POKEMON RANGER, FACE MY WRATH! GO, SLUGMA!"

...

"Finally." Weiss breathed heavily as she finally won, after somehow getting said Slugma knocked out by, of all things, a Leaf-type move. "Now that that obstacle was taken out, onwards to the next Gym."  
Blake whistled. "You'd be so screwed in a Nuzlocke run, considering how many times you basically sacrificed your Pokémon to win that."  
"In all fairness, Ruby has about _twenty five Revives_." Weiss responded. "How does one get so many?!"

Ruby giggled. "Heheheh...I get them from places."  
"I envy your luck." The heiress grumbled irritably. "Why can't I ever have such luck in games?"  
"Because the Universe hates you?" Yang pointed out helpfully for the umpteenth time that day.

Weiss sighed, closing her eyes. "Of course, thanks for the encouragement as always, Yang."

"Pleasure!"

* * *

"Ah, and of course, these incompetent volcano-loving maniacs are attempting to get in my way, as usual." Weiss sighed dramatically at Team Magma. "Very well. My legendary jet dragon will annihilate them.

Latios, obliterate!"

"I never _did_ figure out why people always fought you even if you had legendaries in your party." Blake mused, curious. "You'd think they'd stop when they realised you had a physical _god_ on your side."

Yang shrugged. "Probably some crappy rule or something."  
"Point taken. Still-"  
"...what." Weiss twitched.

Her Latios was taken out by a lucky critical Bite.

Weiss' eyelid twitched.

"THIS IS UNFAIR AND UNBALANCED!" She discarded the system onto her bunk and stormed out, furious.

Blake sighed, taking her wallet out and digging out the Lien. "Very well, Yang, since she did quit before even getting past _two _Gyms..."  
"Yeesssss~" Yang giggled, raising her Lien in victory. "Maybe we'll get her to play Five Nights at Freddy's next! Oh, oh, or Valkyria Chronicles! What with Isara around..."  
"I have a feeling she'd probably hate both of them." Blake commented.

"So...a perfectly brilliant idea."

Ruby sighed. "You guys always do this to Weiss..."  
"You're the one who was drooling over her, don't complain." The catgirl reminded her.

The reaper blushed. "S-she was just too _cute_ not to fawn over!"

"We rest our cases." Yang chuckled.

"Now, if you excuse me, I have a video to upload and some money to spend!"

And so, another typical Beacon afternoon resumed. Weiss was raging.

All was right.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: There might be a Part 3 eventually. We'll see how we get on.**

**Next chapter, we're going back to fanfic coverage, in the form of ****The Layman's**** "We must increase our stamina"- featuring, well, Team RWBY doing some very questionable things to do the title name! A shoutout to him for being so awesome as to let us do this fic!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, thoughts, suggestions and criticisms, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	49. Special: We must increase our stamina!

**Weiss Reacts to 'We Must Increase Our Stamina!"**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! At long last, an actual fanfic chapter! Good god, you must be thinking how many times I've left it out. Anyway, let's get this thing on the road, and ****one shoutout to The Layman for letting me cover his absolutely hilarious fic! Now that the thanks are out of the way, let's get this chapter started!**

**Also, for fans of my colleague Half-Blind Otaku, we'll be covering 'Diary of Glynda Goodwitch' again soon- also a huge congratulations to him for crossing 100 chapters! Excellent! Woo!**

**Let's get this chapter on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would have more swords. MOAR SWORDS**

**We Must Increase Our Stamina belongs to The Layman.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"RIGHT!" Yang raised her finger, earning a gaze from the rest of the dorm. "It's time we whipped ourselves into shape!"

Weiss stared at her for a moment, before shaking her head and going back to her book.

Blake blinked. "Erm. Yang, we happen to have just gotten back from training. Why do we need to get fit again?"  
"Because we spend all our screentime sitting around the computer doing nothing but reading fanfics and laughing at Weiss failing to play video games!"

Weiss glared at her, putting her book down. "Quiet, you."

"It's true." Ruby shrugged, frowning. "You are terrible at playing video games."  
"I-It's not like...I-it's not like I'm exactly going to be amazing at every video game ever, s-stupid!" The heiress snapped. "Morons!"

Blake chuckled. "Sure you aren't. I believe you."  
"S-shut up! I'll play you at Civilization again and thrash you again." Weiss glared at the catgirl, who merely scoffed.  
"If I recall, Ruby won that game-"  
"Enough talk!" Yang snapped. "We're going to go on an exercise run! Now!"

Weiss grumbled. "Put a sock in it, Xiao Long. You can go on your exercise run yourself."

"Why the sudden obsession with exercise?" Ruby tilted her head. "And what's with the get-up?"  
Yang looked down at her sports bra and short shorts- all in shiny black and flame-patterned, of course, and positioned to expose as much skin as possible.

"I don't know what you mean~"

"Don't tell me you're still trying to out-sexy my sister." Weiss grumbled.

Yang pouted, crossing her arms and looking away. "I-it's not fair! Why is your sister sexier than me without trying?! T-that's not how it works!" I-I'm the Ms Fanservice here!"

Blake sighed, passing Yang her leather jacket and jeans. Her cheeks were slightly red from embarrassment.

"Put some clothes on, you look stupid."  
"B-Blake, y-you wound me!" The brawler protested childishly, but obliged and put on the leather jacket.

Weiss chuckled. "Oh, Blake. If only you saw how tsun-tsun you look-"  
"S-shut up. I'm not about to cave in to the fans and give them s-stupid Bumblebee!" Blake snapped, crossing her arms. "I-I'm too manly for that anyway!"

"Since when does manliness preclude falling in love again?" Ruby tilted her head.

"Shut up!" Blake glared at her irritably.

"Eeeep! Sorry..." Ruby cringed away from Blake, somewhat shocked by the sudden hostility.

Weiss closed her book and stood up, stretching her arms. "Well, if everyone's going to do nothing but screw around, then we might as well find some fanfic to read.

And we are not going running to make you look sexier, or whatever. You can do that yourself.

We don't need any more people mentally scarred- you already did enough damage to the poor new girl..."

Yang sighed dramatically, pulling up a beanbag and moving over to the computer as Weiss strolled over to it. "Fiiiiiine, since you people are boring and won't help your teammate claim what's rightfully hers..."  
The catgirl took her ribbon off and rubbed her ears, looking around. "Yang trying to get everyone fit sounds like a good fanfic plot. Go look it up."  
"Eh." The heiress shrugged. "I doubt someone was legitimately bored enough to consider Yang a role model for exercise-"  
"HEY!" The brawler snapped, offended. "I am very healthy, thank you very much!"  
"You eat nothing but pizzas, steaks and chicken!" Weiss complained. "I'm surprised you're somehow still so stupidly busty and curvy without being fat!"

"Heheh." Yang winked at her. "All my fat goes to the right pl-"  
She was interrupted by a shark plushie being lobbed at her face. Weiss growled.

"Idiot! WHAT IS WITH YOUR OBSESSION WITH YOUR BUSTY CHEST?!"

"Meanie..."

* * *

Weiss blinked. "What do you know, that fic exists."

Blake tilted her head. "...and as expected, Yang and Weiss are against each other. Is there anything different?"  
"Shush. You wanted to read this, so we're reading it." The heiress grumbled. "Here goes nothing."

Yang scoffed at the blurb. "Me and you, get competitive? As if. We know who'd win that one, anyway."  
"Don't think you've got the right to say anything about that." Ruby pointed out helpfully. "She did beat you. Five times."  
"L-Let me have my time in the limelight!" The brawler protested, staring at her sister pleadingly. "A-and Rubes, you're my sister! W-who's side are you on?!"

The reaper latched on Weiss' arm. "My adorable girlfriend's~"

Weiss glared at her, blushing. "S-stop that. You're babbling again, you m-moron."  
"Kawaaaaiii..."

"Graah..." Weiss closed her eyes, attempting to resist the urge to hug her idiotic lover. "...l-let's just get this fic out of the way."

...

"...as usual, Ruby's somehow late, even though she can run faster than Yang can come up with something perverted to say." Weiss remarked drily. Yang merely shrugged.

"It's true. She's fast."

"You don't even deny it. Figures." The heiress closed her eyes.

"...and ARE YOU SERIOUS SHE FELL ASLEEP AND BINGED ON COOKIES WHAT WAS SHE THINKING NOW WE FAILED. MORON."

Ruby giggled. "Hehehe..."  
"If you do that to us in real life, Ruby, I am going to slap you." Blake threatened her half-jokingly. "Seriously. I WILL end you if you do that."  
"Hehe, no need to worry." Ruby declared proudly. "I'm not that much of a klutz."  
"Your track record doesn't fill me with faith." The catgirl countered, causing Ruby to frown.

"Hey! I'm not that bad!"

"Perfect...what 's a GPA?" Weiss raised an eyebrow, curiously.

"...isn't that the American system?" Yang rubbed her chin. "Didn't think it was Valian."  
"Valean." Weiss corrected her. "We're not in Valia, we're in Vale."

Blake interrupted them both. "Does anyone care? Just read the fic!"

"Team Carbon...you know, I'm sure we have one of those here." Yang tapped her chin, nodding slowly. "And hard and fast, eh? Why, that's-OOF"  
Weiss rubbed her hand as the brawler rubbed her belly, a pained expression on her face. "Pre-empted your perverted comment."  
"N-not everything I say is perverted!"

Blake chuckled at the mention of workout clothes. "Heh. We already know what Yang wears."

"I hardly consider those clothes, Blake. At least my battle skirts are dignified." Weiss remarked drily.

Yang scoffed. "I beg your pardon? I don't wear stupid frilly skirts! I wear practical shorts! That way, I don't flash every person underneath me!"  
"Coming from you, I'm surprised you think that's a bad thing. And I wear shorts under there." The heiress pointed out. "Anything to keep the stupid weirdoes from getting a glimpse under there like in those crappy harem anime."  
"They're black." Ruby calmly stated, causing Weiss to give a luminescent blush.

"RUBY"  
"What? You left them on the floor of the shower today!" The reaper protested. "I'm not Velvet, I didn't go through them like some stalker!"

"THEN PUT THEM BACK INTO THE CLOSET AND DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT COLOR THEY ARE YOU DOLT!"

As they said that, Velvet was indeed wearing Weiss' unmentionables over her head, and they were indeed black as night.

She was watching them from a vent underneath the table, giggling.

"One day, my Weiss-sempai...even if it's not today..." The bunnygirl vowed as she scrabbled her way back to her dorm, with Vivi in tow.

Back to our heroes...

"A tracksuit and-" Blake snickered. "Are you serious? She'd look stupid in one. Weiss, you'd better stick to your battle dresses."  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." The heiress muttered irritably.

"Always happy to help."

"...and what kind of stupid costume are you wearing?!" Weiss snapped. "Have you no dignity?!"

"Jazzercise is a LEGITIMATE form of exercise!" Yang protested, glaring at Weiss defensively. "Y-you don't understand anything!"

"I thought you wanted to look sexy, not stupid."

Blake shrugged, nodding with assent to Weiss' comment. "Gonna have to agree with Weiss here."

"You people have no taste!" The brawler cried, pouting.

"AND WOULD YOU QUIT WITH THE POUTING YOU ARE NOT RUBY QUIT ACTING CHILDISH"

Ruby pouted, causing Weiss to flinch. She facepalmed, irritated with both siblings.

"NOT YOU TOO"

"S-sowwy..." The reaper whimpered. Weiss threw her hands in the air.

"So help me, I share my dorm with a bunch of babies. And I am NOT that competitive! I wouldn't be irritated if an inanimate object beat me, and I wouldn't certainly wager my dignity against Yang's lack thereof!"

Blake smirked. Weiss had given her a perfect set-up.

"Well, you've let enough video games beat you."

"SHUT UP"

* * *

"Five kilometres!" Weiss scoffed at the screen. "In what world can Yang outrun me?!"

"Well, I can outrun you here." Yang replied.

"Yeah. Right. And it's not because of some stupid antic." The heiress nodded slowly. "I completely believe you."

"Not all my feats have something to do with pranks, dear~" The brawler pointed out.

Blake chimed in. "You're right, just most of them."

"H-Hmph. Meanie."

"And weight lifting?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "In an outright fight, we've already proven Yang is my inferior!"

Yang interrupted her, looking embarrassed. "Only because you cheated!"

"I was perfectly in the rules allowed to ring you out." The heiress calmly replied. "You didn't take that chance, your loss."

I could beat your underhanded tricks any day!"

Ruby chuckled. "Jaune, working out?"

Blake shrugged casually. "One would think running away from his admirers would be enough exercise. Our Jaune's ripped."

"And to think he still looks girly enough to look like Saber when crossdressing..." The reaper noted, chuckling. "Although Weiss trying to do weights..."

"She'd probably get crushed by them or something." The catgirl remarked. "Not her kinda thing...Ruby?"

Ruby was busy fantasising about Weiss looking adorable while doing weights.

"Heheh..."

Weiss gave her a light slap on the back of the head. "Quit being a pervert."

"Ow..." Ruby rubbed the back of her head as Weiss continued to read the fic.

"And me, unable to catch up to Yang?! This writer offends me! I am FAR superior to her!"

"By cheating~" Yang reminded her cheerily. Weiss glared at her.

"Not like you haven't. I still remember the stupid tournament you made up where you used a plushie to distract me!"

Yang shrugged. "All's fair in love and war. Especially war."

"Hypocrite." The heiress muttered. "And how dare you assume I'm some sort of floozy?!"

Blake chuckled. "You being a limp-skinned weakling IS a hilarious image."

"If I meet this man in person, I will probably have him shot for treason."

"You can't have everyone shot for treason because they don't like you~" The brawler pointed out helpfully.

"I'll probably settle for you, then." Weiss darkly muttered. "And I dread finding out what Yang's real workout is..."

...

"Jazzercise." Weiss stared, dumbfounded, at the page. "Of COURSE Yang does the most humiliating activity known to man to try and win her stupid competition."

"Maybe because you're too easily beaten~"

"WHAT KIND OF A FOOL USES THAT FOR A COMPETITION?!"

Blake grinned mischievously. "What, too scared you'd actually lose something to Yang?"

"P-put a sock in it, y-you idiot!" The heiress snapped angrily. "Y-you know nothing!"

"And what d'you know, I win!" The brawler smirked, pumping her fist in triumph. "See? I can beat you in things, miss Ice Queen~"

"T-that was an unfair contest and needlessly humiliating!" Weiss cried. "I-I am disgusted I even participated in this!"

"Well, at least Yang wore her Jazzercise stuff as an apology, right?" Ruby pointed out helpfully. Weiss grumbled.

"Too little, too late."

Blake frowned. "Kinda sucks I wasn't manly and awesome in this one, but if Weiss was forced to wear a track suit, I'll take it."

"For your information, I don't MIND wearing a tracksuit! I just don't want to be forced to wear one over my practical battle skirts!" The heiress protested angrily, evoking laughter from Yang.

"O-oh man...t-that's hilarious! You know what, can you guys let me have the review?"

* * *

-**From: LittleSunDragonSempai**

i loved it lololol

it's perfect- me beating weiss because i'm awesome

love it

-yang

ps: needs work on the jazzercise thing not enough skin showing

* * *

"OOOOOWWWW." Yang whimpered as Weiss rubbed her hand again.

"You moron! What is wrong with you?!"

"I-I need to be fanservicey! The fans love it!" The brawler complained.

Weiss growled, furious. "QUIT WITH YOUR OBSESSION WITH SEXINESS!", she roared.

Blake sighed, picking up her book and offering Ruby some popcorn. "Want some?"

The reaper took some, nodding gratefully as yet another normal Beacon afternoon began in RWBY dorm.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's that. Next chapter...*drumroll*...Weiss Reacts to Toradora! Why? Because I just realised I have a gap between now and my next fanfic chapter and I rather like Toradora- there is even a character in the Reactsverse based off one of the main characters, courtesy of our colleague Half-Blind Otaku! See if you can guess who!**

**A shout out to The Layman for being awesome enough to let us do his fic!**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, reviews, comments and thoughts and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	50. Weiss Reacts to Toradora, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Toradora!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! We decided since we have a tsundere main character, it'd be fitting for her to see one of the Four Tsundere Wonders, Taiga, in her native environment! Also so I can make a reference to that one Rie Kugimiya gag I did that one time. Also, surprised, eh? Double chapter day! Let's do this!**

**Now, let's begin this chapter stuff before you people get bored with my ranting!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be more Weiss fanservice. **

**Toradora belongs to...JC Staff? I think. I wish I knew who made the light novel. Warning for spoilers- I take no responsibility if you were spoiled by reading this chapter.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss grumbled at Blake, who was using the computer, plugging in a strange, complicated device with various interfaces and buttons, adorned with stickers of chibi-fied anime characters.

"What are you doing and will it screw my computer up?"

"I'm pumping in an equation based on the Kanoe Principle- pioneered, of course, by our very own Professor Kanoe-"

"Oh, right!" Yang snapped her fingers. "I forgot, I have homework due in for her..."  
"Eh, just talk some crap or something and she'll buy it. It's not like she's the strictest teacher anyway." Blake waved her off dismissively, while Weiss continued staring at the screen, which was flashing past quickly with numbers even the heiress with her analytical skills could not perceive.

"Equation for _what_, exactly?"  
"Figuring out what or how manly one needs to be to beat a concentrated source of moe. In this case, Hokuago Tea-Time." The catgirl explained, a slightly manic shine in her eyes.

Weiss rubbed her temples. "Are you STILL on about that? That was a _month_ ago, Blake! A month!"  
"No!" The catgirl roared defiantly, glaring right back. "I _won't_ accept that I got beaten by a bunch of _moeblobs_! I-I'm too MANLY to lose to them-"

Suddenly, with a loud _boom_, Weiss' computer switched off entirely, as a wisp of smoke began wafting out from the tower unit.

The heiress' eyes widened. "W-what just happened?!"  
"Oh dear." Blake rubbed her chin, frowning slightly. "I overestimated the processing power of your computer.

You might need a new processor-"  
"...YOU IDIOT." Weiss roared, before attempting to leap at her teammate, only being restrained by Yang from eviscerating her.

"I-I'll pay for a new one!" Blake promised hurriedly.

"YOUR OBSESSION WITH MANLINESS BLEW MY COMPUTER UP YOU MORON"

That moment, Ruby walked in, a bag of cookies and various cookie-related goods in her arms.

"Hey, guys! I'm ho-ooooh." The reaper walked in to see her sister holding back her girlfriend from trying to rip Blake apart.

"Erm...what did I miss?"  
"BLAKE BLEW MY COMPUTER UP"  
"In my defence, that was an accident!"

"I'LL MAKE YOUR DEATH LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT"

Yang nodded slowly. "I'll admit, that was a good one. Now, Rubes, quickly! Initiate Plan 'Calm the Rampaging Bear'!"

Ruby nodded hurriedly, before grabbing Weiss' beloved Sharkie-chan shark plushie and threw it at the heiress.

"I AM GOING TO MA-Sharkie-chaaaan!" Weiss immediately clamped on to the plushie, staring at it lovingly.

"I've missed you so much, Sharkie-chan! You're just so _cute_! Oh Dust, I wuv you so muuuuch!"

Yang chuckled as the heiress cooed and coddled her plushie, sighing happily.

"Works every time."

Ruby merely stared at the shark plushie being cooed to by Weiss with envy.

"...if that's what I need to be to get some cuddles around here, then I'll wear a shark costume..." The reaper vowed determinedly.

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

Team RWBY- with Weiss somewhat bitter, but placated by copious helpings of Ruby's hugs and hugging her plushie, as well as vanilla sorbet- now sat in the other room in their dorm, in front of their large TV.

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "Well, _Blake_, since you're the reason we can't use my computer, what do you want to do?"  
"I dunno. Anyone have any games?" Blake inquired, earning nothing but headshakes.

Ruby frowned. "I'm still having my consoles repaired."  
"And you people aren't touching mine." Yang stated pre-emptively. "Nuh-uh."  
"Right. Anime?" Weiss inquired.

Ruby raised a finger. "Well, I got the whole series of Accel World!"  
"Already watched it." Blake reminded her. "Where do you think I got the 'Silver Crow' Protocol from?"

"I'm saving that for when I manage to drag Ren with me to watch it." Yang chimed in.  
"Errm. Persona 4 the Animation?"

"If we wanted to do that, we'd just have Cardin beg Rise to drag her friends over to Vale." Yang pointed out. "And I'm tempted to, really, but it'd be kinda rude."  
"Rinne no Lagrange?"

Weiss shook her head furiously. "_No_."  
"Why?!" The reaper looked confused.

"Remember Lan from Halloween?" Yang reminded her helpfully.

"S-stupid idiot popped out o-of nowhere and scared me constantly..." The heiress grumbled.

Blake snapped her fingers. "Toradora. We can all agree on that- I've been meaning to watch it for a while now, and I know Ruby and Yang have been too- Yang's rewatching Toradora, I think.

"Actually, yeah." The brawler nodded enthusiastically. "Didn't you say you ordered it-"  
"Here you go, Blake."

Ruby, Yang and Weiss jumped in their seats as Norn passed over the box set of the anime they'd been discussing to Blake.

"The package came in earlier this morning. I procured it for you." Norn bowed to Blake respectfully. "Would you like some snacks and drinks with that?"  
"Eh...nah." The catgirl shook her head. "Take a break for today."

"Thank you." The Persocom nodded and jumped out of the window, causing Weiss to blink.

"...no matter how many times Norn does that, I'm still not used to it." The heiress muttered, shaking her head.

"You can say _that_ again..." Yang rubbed the back of her head, sighing. "You made her too ninja-like!"  
Blake shrugged. "Grab some food and drinks from the fridge, we're going on a Toradora binge!"  
"Hope it ends better than the Madoka Magica binge JNPR did..." Ruby mused, causing Weiss to glare irritably at Yang.

"Yeah, and whose fault was that?"  
"Hey, they decided to watch it." The brawler shrugged. "Not my problem if they get mentally scarred by it."  
"Still annoyed I missed Kyoko being here..." Blake muttered as she walked over to insert the DVD into their SchneeVD player.

* * *

"...that is a _horrible_ pun." Weiss grumbled at the title, both of the anime and the episode. "Seriously?! As if we needed the reinforcement that the main protagonists' names are _puns_ on 'tiger and dragon'..."  
Yang shrugged. "Eh, least it's catchy, eh? And it'll be important later. Now, let's see here..."

Weiss sighed. "Already, Ryuuji's mother reminds me of Yang."  
"HEY!" The brawler looked offended. "I'm _so _much sexier than her!"

Ruby shushed them, shoving cookies into her mouth. "I'm trying to watch this!"

"My fanservice quotient was questioned!" Yang complained.

"...there's something about Taiga that pisses me off already..." Blake mused as the aforementioned girl appeared on screen. "I don't know what..."

"Maybe the fact that she reminds you too much of Weiss? You know, short, bratty and flat-chested?" Yang stated teasingly as she fended off a beating from Weiss.

"Will you _stop_ pointing out my chest size, you moron?!"  
Ruby giggled. "Looks like Weiss and Taiga would get along _just_ fine."

"We are _nothing_ alike!" Weiss retorted, just as she punched Yang and huffed, muttering "Idiot" under her breath.

Blake rolled her eyes. "Sure, nothing alike. I _still_ don't know why Taiga pisses me off so much..."

"...and what is this idiot girl on?!" Weiss grumbled. "Invading someone's house and threatening him with brain damage? And you compare me to _her_?!"

"Well, what you don't have in audacity, you make up in tsun." The catgirl commented.

"S-shut up!" Weiss scoffed dismissively. "I don't understand how you idiots could compare me to this Taiga girl. She can't even look after herself!"

"She has a point." Ruby nodded. "It's usually either Norn or Weiss who cleans up our messes."  
"Like that..._gunk_ on the bathroom floor I absolutely _refuse_ to touch at the tip of Myrtenaster." The heiress shuddered. "I sympathise with Ryuuji already. I'd think he might actually faint from seeing how messy _our_ dorm is..."  
"Well, you might want to tell him yourself!" Yang looked up, hastily looking about.

"Aww. I thought invoking that might make him appear out of nowhere. It worked for Ren."

"I really _don't _understand what you're even talking about..." Weiss sighed irritably.

...

"I want to _slap _that girl in the face." Weiss vowed, irritated. "How can you be so ungrateful?!"  
"She's a tsundere-" Yang pointed out, but Weiss cut her off.

"I could tell _that_, but SERIOUSLY! How can you treat someone who just _outright promised to get you the boy you love_ like that?!"  
Yang merely smiled enigmatically. "Oh, Weiss, you don't know anything~"

Ruby tilted her head, turning to Blake. "How likely do you think it'll be that those two get together?"

"...well, he sure as hell isn't going to end up with Minori, is he?" Blake remarked with a chuckle. "Eh...speaking of Minori, I _know_ she sounds familiar! I can't quite put it, but I know it's the same reason Taiga pisses me off."

"What kind of stupid plan-" The heiress facepalmed. "You two are _morons_! Just _tell _the man for Dust's sake! You'd think that the supposedly 'tough' Taiga would be able to muster up the courage to say 'I love you', but _NO!_ Instead you idiots resort to a bunch of stupid schemes- involving throwing _basketballs_ at people and _cookies_...

Those two are idiots."

"It took you seventy-two chapters and two years in the backstory to say you loved Ruby~" Yang pointed out.

"I would have said it _earlier_ if you hadn't teased me about it so much, you numbskull!"  
"I doubt it. You'd probably have denied it even when you two were lying in bed tog-OW!"  
Weiss glared at her as Yang rubbed the top of her head, having been smacked on it for being perverted. "IDIOT!"  
Ruby cringed. "Eesh. She has one hell of a kick if she bent a metal post..."  
"Hence the name, 'Palmtop Tiger', I guess." Blake mused. "Although, that is _one strong kick_."

"KITAMURA YOU DEAF IDIOT CAN'T YOU SEE SHE'S TRYING TO SAY SHE LOVES YOU" Weiss yelled, irritated. "DUST, I SWEAR, EVERYONE IN THIS ANIME IS STUPID."  
Yang giggled. "Like you said, the title was a terrible pun."  
"Oh, don't give me that crap!" Weiss scoffed dismissively. "I _doubt_ Ryuuji's going to end up with Taiga! That's stupid! That defies logic!"

Yang, Ruby and Blake took three seconds to process exactly what Weiss just said, before laughing their heads off.

"What?! What am I not being told?!" The heiress snapped.

"Noooothing~" Yang responded teasingly, holding her chuckles.

Blake sighed, shaking her head at Weiss knowingly.

'_Weiss, you really __**aren't **__genre savvy, are you?' _She mused mentally.

...

"How many jobs does this girl _have_?!" Weiss cried, exasperated. "Seriously! Is she Professor Faust or something?!"  
"Dammit, I _know_ there's something about Minori I'm _missing_!" Blake declared. "Ugh! It's not the way she looks, either..."

"And Taiga, what are you _doing_?! Weren't you supposed to get those two _together_?!" The heiress snapped. "Seriously, it's like she's _jealous_ or something!"  
Yang chuckled sinisterly. "Oh, you don't know the _half_ of it, dear Weiss~"  
Ruby giggled at the screen. "D'aww, she doesn't know how to ride a bike? That's so adorable!

I want to hug her now!"  
"She'd probably batter you or something." Blake chuckled. "That is, if she didn't pull a Weiss and mellow down after finally getting the guy."  
"Kawaaaii..." Ruby drooled at the screen.

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "And seriously. No, seriously. Taiga, you utter _moron_.

Your scheme worked _perfectly, _they get closer to each other and you do _THAT?!_" She sighed irritably, shaking her head in defeat.

"...what an incompetent loon..."

"I still don't know why Taiga angers me so much!" Blake cried, defeated. "I know I should _like _her, but I don't know why!

It's like seeing Kyubey or something!"

* * *

"...again, I _chafe_ at being compared to Taiga." Weiss grumbled. "Seriously, she is a _pervert_! How can one not consider her perverted for taking pictures of someone without telling them?!"  
"It's called candid photography." Yang pointed out cheekily. "Glynda loved doing that when she was our age~"  
Weiss muttered darkly. "Yeah, well, she's an even bigger pervert than Cinder."  
"Can you believe she used to fangirl over Yang's mom?" Blake chuckled.

Yang grinned. "My mom is just too adorable _not _to fangirl over!"

"Coming from the girl who obsesses over sexiness, I find that means _nothing_."

Ruby tilted her head, curious. "Hm. Taiga kinda reminds me of Velvet with her obsession with Kitamura..."  
"I don't think she goes _quite_ that far." Blake pointed out. "For one, Taiga isn't wearing his boxers on his head."

"Point taken."

"Don't remind me..." The heiress sighed, her cheeks slightly red from embarrassment. "That was _mortifying_...

AND ARE YOU SERIOUS TAIGA YOU LOVED HIM AND THEN YOU REGSFKLDGMDLGDJGKLDGM-"Weiss was practically frothing at the mouth at the revelation. Ruby merely glomped her to try and calm her down from her agitated state.

"Huh. A comedy of errors." The catgirl rubbed her chin. "Fitting. Although why Taiga's so scared of asking him out when she _knows_ he's into her makes me confused..."  
Yang merely repeated "You don't know the half of it~" in a sing-song voice.

"...he gets together with someone else at the end, doesn't he."  
"You could say that~" The brawler said in her enigmatic tone, chuckling at their inexperience with the story.

...

"...this Ami, she looks like Pyrrha's mother." Weiss noted as a blue-haired girl by that name appeared on screen.

"Yep. She even _acts_ like Lia did back in Beacon.

Which is to say, an absolute hag."

"...oh, _typical_." The heiress muttered. "Of course. The pretty girl is going to be an alpha...mean person."  
"Oh? You were going to say something else there, weren't you?" Yang said teasingly.

Weiss shot a steely glare at her. "Put a sock in it."

"Woooow, that art shift." Blake whistled. "And Minori somehow manages to look scarier than burrito-deprived Cinder."

Ruby shuddered, the memory of the _last_ time their teacher had been deprived of her favourite snack food. "Don't remind me, Blake..."

"...I see what you mean by 'acts like a young Lia Nikos'." Weiss muttered. "And how is her self-esteem so _low_?! She already _knows_ Kitamura wouldn't-UGH!

If it wasn't for the fact that I feel SO sorry for Taiga, I would physically _slap_ her for being an idiot."

"Out tsun-ing a tsundere- and one of the Four Tsundere Wonders, at that." Yang commented with an impressed whistle. "Go figure."

"Shush, you." Weiss scolded her, before continuing to watch the show. "...and, remind me, why are the creators teasing this ship so much?

As I said, it's _highly_ improbable Taiga will even fall for Ryuuji!"  
Blake leaned into Yang, whispering. "And why does this remind me of the times she said it'd be _impossible_ for her to fall for Ruby?"  
"Hah. I know, right?"  
"I can _hear_ you two, you know!" Weiss glared at the pair, irritated.

...

"Hah! Karma!" Weiss laughed as Ami proceeded to be felt up by the other two female main characters for the sake of 'the dieting warriors'.

Yang tapped her chin. "I dunno. I wouldn't mind being felt up by such _nice-looking_ girls~"  
She then ducked Weiss' inevitable dope slap, smirking.

"Too genre-savvy for you, dear~"  
"QUIT BEING A PERVERT!"

Ruby chuckled at Taiga's display during lunchtime, sighing. "Seriously, your dog in a previous life? That's how you treat one of your only friends?

Ah, so tsun-tsun...it makes me want to hug her and squeeze her tightly~!"

The show continued, and Blake chimed in, chuckling.

"You know, Ami would _not_ be out of place in a Persona game, what with all the talk about her 'true self' and stuff.

Now considering writing a Persona-Toradora crossover fanfic. I think she'd be a perfect Moon Arcana..."  
"...finally, something that makes me _care_ about her!" Weiss declared. "Yes! Show that idiot stalker what your true self is! Go on!"

"Cheering for Ami, are we?" Yang teased her again.

"Not for her. I hate her. I'm cheering the fact she grew the guts to stomp that stupid stalker down- and deservedly...

AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING AMI YOU STUPID PERV"

"And another girl joins Ryuuji's- surprisingly small- harem." The brawler mused. "Sometimes, I think what might've happened if she ended up with him, too..."

...

"Again, I am wholly confused as to why Taiga's so jealous of her." Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "It's not like she likes him, or anything."

"You took the words right out of her mouth." Yang stated, giggling.

"I _refuse_ to believe what you're implying, at _all_!"

Ruby blinked. "I personally _don't _see the problem with a flat chest! I think they're awesome!"

Weiss slapped her on the back of the head. "Q-quit that, you idiot! You sound like some deranged deviant!"  
"Ooooowww..." The reaper rubbed the back of her head. "Weeeeiiiss..."

"And here, Ryuuji shows his true Kanji inspirations by making her pads!" Blake announced. Yang merely scoffed.

"I can understand how she feels inadequate, I mean...seriously, everyone has larger knockers than her!"  
Weiss seethed, but let it be. "...Xiao Long, if it wasn't for the fact that was a- rather crudely phrased- factual observation, I'd slap you."  
"So, I can be as perverted as I like as long as it's true?" Yang said hopefully, causing Weiss to blanch.

"Oh, Dust, what have I _done_..."

"...oh dear." Ruby blinked. "She can't swim?"  
"Not a dot." Yang nodded, sighing sadly. "You'll find out why, even if it is only implied-"  
"Hang on...she's complaining because one of her _pads fell out_?!" Weiss cried, irritated. "How childish _is_ she?!"

"Dunno why you don't invest in those yourself." The brawler shrugged. "Sounds like you'd need some-"  
"MY CHEST IS ADEQUATE! _ADEQUATE_!"

Ruby looked to Blake. "Wait, what's Ami doing?"  
"Either trying to get Taiga to man up and admit she loves Ryuuji already, or just trolling her. I can't tell at this point in time." The catgirl shrugged.

"Well, we'll just have to keep watching, then." Ruby settled into a pillow, shoving more cookies into her mouth, and got comfortable to watch the rest of the series.

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Given that Toradora is a fairly long series (25 episodes, compared to Madoka Magica, the last anime we covered, being 12)- and I am INCREDIBLY short on time- we'll probably finish covering all of them in the next chapter.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, reviews and criticisms, and I hope you have a WONDERFUL day! Until next time!**


	51. Weiss Reacts to Toradora, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Toradora, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! For those of you wondering about suggestions, I will not be taking any more suggestions for chapters until I finish covering UhhICanExplain's Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist, due to being swamped with work as it is and wanting to tell some stories of my own here. After that, I will be open to suggestions for chapters again. I apologise for the inconvenience.**

**Now that that's settled, let's get Toradora out of the way! Taiga cameo optional. Spoiler warning, by the way, for anyone who wants to watch this anime, so be warned.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would be the sixth tsundere wonder.**

**Toradora belongs to Yuyuko Takemiya. A shout out to Zeek72 for informing me about this!**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Episode 8

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SWIM." Weiss screeched at the screen. "TAIGA, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU A BABY OR SOMETHING"

"You're reacting awfully loudly at someone who's apparently 'nothing like you', Weiss." Yang said, smirking. "You're in denial, aren't you?"  
"I swear, if you say that again, I'm going to make you wish you had Taiga as a teammate instead of me." Weiss muttered darkly.

Blake tapped her chin. "Wouldn't be bad, actually. She'd be less of a killjoy."  
"S-shut up!"

Ruby giggled. "Oh, Ryuuji, you're so blind..."

"About as blind as Weiss." Yang commented. "Seriously, when the title outright says those two'll end up together..."  
"Not you too, Ami!" Weiss complained. "Don't tell me you seriously think Taiga's in love with him or something! Are these idiots blind?! She clearly loves Kitamura! She even FORCED HIM TO HELP HER MAKE LOVE LETTERS FOR HIM!"

Blake whispered over to Yang. "How much do you bet Weiss won't realise it until the whole thing's ended?"  
"That's not a bet. That's too easy." The brawler shrugged. "Even YOU can tell, and you haven't even watched the series.

Weiss is about as genre savvy as I am un-sexy~"

"Heh. You're leaving yourself pretty open to Winter jokes." The catgirl grinned, enjoying the effect she was having on her partner.  
Yang glared at her. "D-don't you mention that woman to me, B-Blake!"

"And why are you-j-just say what you're going to say, you moron!" The heiress snapped. "Dust, it's like Ami's the only person with any courage around here!"

Ruby smirked. "Not like you're any better, Weiss~"  
"S-shush! I-I don't act like that!" The heiress whined. "...and dear Dust, the SHIP TEASE. CREATORS, IT'S NOT HAPPENING."  
"Denial?" Yang looked towards Blake, who nodded.

"Definitely. Seriously, dunno how Weiss is so blind, this is exactly what happened with her and Ruby."

"...Ryuuji belongs to you? He's not your pet, lady!" Weiss snapped. "...why does that sentence seem so shippy?!"

Ruby merely started laughing, as did Yang. Weiss glared at them both, sighing.

"I will never understand why you people are laughing, will I?"  
"Oh, you'll get it soon." Blake reassured her. "We hope."

...

Episode 9

"...whatever Ryuuji had for dinner last night, it's probably like that stupid...garbage you and Nora tried to feed me a year ago." Weiss grumbled.

"You still remember that dream?" Yang raised an eyebrow.  
"When Ruby keeps appearing out of nowhere, of course I'm going to remember that stupid dream..." The heiress blushed slightly. "A-and don't get any ideas, you pervert, it wasn't THAT kind of dream!"  
Ruby pouted, somewhat disappointed.

"...hah. Taiga, excellent plan." Blake chuckled. "Knowing Minori, she's probably trolling them all and she's probably into horror, which means he'll get closer to her."

"Astute." Yang clapped. Blake grinned smugly. "I know my stuff."

"Ami, quit that..." Weiss grumbled. "You moronic perverted tease...you're no better than Yang."

"I'm way hotter than Ami!" The brawler protested. "She's just not as shapely!"

Blake burst out laughing soon enough. "Kitamura, you tease! What's with dropping that towel in the middle of the kitchen!"  
"This episode is too full of fanservice." Weiss grumbled. "Perfect show for Yang."  
"You're right." The brawler shrugged. "I can't deny the fanservice~"  
"When you're being insulted, you're not supposed to admit it!" The heiress complained. Yang merely stuck her tongue out.

"What can I say? A girl has needs."

Blake whistled. "Weiss, finally, a ship you're okay with."

"Indeed. I'm glad the creators have stopped pushing that insidious Taiga/Ryuuji ship that's clearly not going to-" Weiss was, of course, interrupted by Taiga then admitting she found it easier to hang around the latter.

Her eyelid twitched. "W-what..."

"Oh Dust, the pranks." Ruby smirked. "It's pretty clearly a prank too! Haha..."

...

Episode 10

"...good Dust, what's going on here?" Weiss scratched her head. "Is there seriously a seaweed ghost here or something? That means Minori really was onto something!"  
"Or that it's all an elaborate antic." Yang shrugged. "I could set this up with a pair of tweezers, some petroleum jelly and some of Coco's extensive wardrobe."

"Point taken. You people use your imaginations for stupid things." The heiress muttered, grumbling. "Idiots..."

"Oh, Minori, you sneaky sneaky lady." Yang giggled. "I see what you did there."  
"...of course she's a prankster!" Weiss threw her hands up in exasperation. "I should've known!"

Yang clapped, giving credit where it was due. "Excellently played, Minori-chan. Excellently played."

"Good Dust..." Weiss rubbed her temples. "These idiots make me want to slap them all in the head."

"Woo!" Blake cheered. "First part of Toradora finished! I think."  
"Yeah." Ruby shrugged. "So, you guys ready for the next part?"  
Weiss shrugged. "Meh. Why not. Let's go with it. At this point, I doubt that Minori's not part of your Antic Clan or whatever you call it, Yang."  
"Trust me, her antics aren't nearly as awesome as ours, Weiss." The brawler winked at her. "We're far bigger than that."

"I shudder to think what kind of antics would be worse than what you've already done..." Weiss muttered. She exhaled and settled into her cushion, waiting for the next episode.

* * *

Episodes 11-13

"It's always cosplay cafes..." Weiss facepalmed. "Why can't it be something that isn't a cosplay cafe?!"  
"Our culture festival's fairly soon, isn't it?" Blake inquired, inducing Yang to nod with a smile.

"And guess who's on the council for it?"  
"We're doomed." The heiress remarked drily. "Absolutely doomed."  
"Aw." Yang pouted, crossing her arms. "Nice to know you've got such faith in me..."

Weiss shook her head, before looking at the screen. "...I already have bad vibes about Taiga's father. Something doesn't feel right about this..."

"At least she got something right." Yang sighed, relieved.

"...you know, Yuri may act like a complete idiot, but I like her for some reason." Blake sighed, shaking her head. "And like why Taiga irritates me so much, I can't figure out why!"

"A professional wrestling skit?" Ruby tilted her head. "Sounds interesting."  
"I already don't like this." Weiss responded, grumbling. "I really don't. And...seriously, he did that? What is he thinking?! Does he think extortion will get her to talk to him?!

Ryuuji, you moron! Don't let her!"

Blake scratched her head. "Huh? How do you figure?"  
"I think I have enough experience with jerkass parents to know what one looks like." The heiress remarked tartly. "Now...Ryuuji, you moron, you let her do that.

This isn't going to end well, I know it won't!"

Ruby shrugged. "Just wait and see, it might-"  
"It won't." Weiss cut her off, crossing her arms. "Just wait."

...

"...way to go, Minori!" Weiss cheered. "See? She knows what I'm talking about. She knows he's a jerk."

"...ooooh, she's moving out. This is really getting dangerous." Blake mused. "And Taiga seems happy, too.

This has twenty six episodes. This is too early for her to be happy.

Oh, this is not going to end well."

"...Ryuuji, just accept Minori's advice!" The heiress complained, looking highly irritated. "She's Taiga's best friend, she knows her better than you, what are you not getting?!

SERIOUSLY?!"

"Huh. I love this episode, if only because Ami's becoming a bit less of an absolute bi-I mean, jerk." Yang corrected herself quickly, wary of Weiss' ever-attentive ear.

"...where is her dad?" Ruby tilted her head. "I though he promised to show-"  
"As I said, he's a jerk." Weiss declared triumphantly. "I mean, I can understand where Ryuuji's coming from, but...there are times when that's just not the course of action to take."  
"Wow." Yang nodded. "Deep, Weiss."  
"You saying I'm not intelligent enough to make deep statements?"  
"I thought you were only ever worried about your chest size and perverts~" The brawler quipped. Weiss glared at her, irritated.

"I'll give you something to worry about if you don't shut up. The name 'dumb Chihuahua' would be apt for you, Yang."

Yang grinned. "See? Exactly like Tai-OOF"  
Weiss rubbed her hand. "Moron."

...

"Exactly! You idiot! Finally!" Weiss sighed, triumphant. "I KNEW he was a slimebag!"

"He had work-" Ruby pointed out, but was interrupted.

"If he really cared about his daughter, he wouldn't be blowing her off like that." The heiress responded. "At least he realised it in the end, so...props, I guess, are deserved.

And REALLY, A FOOT RACE?!"

Yang snickered. "Oh, Minori, you sneaky girl! I forgot how much cheating you do..."  
"..." Weiss scoffed. "Are you serious? They both won for her sake?

It's like they both love her or something! What's up with that?"  
"Well, Minori did just wonder if she liked girls instead of guys, so there's that." Blake shrugged. "I'm not surprised at all, really."

Ruby squeed happily. "Taiga looks so happy! It's ADORABLE! AHHHHHH!"  
"Ruby, calm down." Weiss muttered. "You look like an obsessed fangirl."  
"I-I just have lots of feels, okay?!"

* * *

Episode 14

"Okay, only a pervert would come up with a rumour like that." Weiss muttered. "That stupid 'happiness' rumour i-is only an excuse to cop a feel!"

"You even think like her, too!" Yang commented, surprised. "It's like you practically are her, Weiss!"  
"S-shut up! I am not!"

Blake noted something down. "Hm...must...spread rumour...that touching Weiss...guarantees happiness..."  
"DON'T YOU DARE BELLADONNA I SWEAR I WILL EXECUTE YOU FOR TREASON"

"D'aww..." Ruby giggled. "He's so cute. I want a boyfriend like that- cooking for me, always helping out-"  
Weiss gave her an unamused look, rolling her eyes. "Why thanks, Ruby. Appreciated."  
"You crush on Jaune, am I not allowed to crush on Ryuuji?" Ruby retorted with a pout, inducing Weiss to blush.

"Y-you don't mention that dolt, you dunce! I don't have a crush on him, okay? I-It's just that stupid Semblance of his! H-he doesn't need a bigger harem, n-not that I'm part of that stupid harem anyway!"

Yang tilted her head. "That's an awful lot of denial-"  
"SHUT UP XIAO LONG NOBODY CARES!"

...

Episode 15

"...just what is Kitamura thinking?!" Weiss cried, staring at the screen. "Dying his hai-what does he think he is, a delinquent?!"

"Sumire, what are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be his superior!" Blake scratched her head. "Heh...guess not."

"...you know, now that I think about it, Kitamura's voice also pisses me off." The catgirl grumbled. "Just why do half the people here irritate me?!"

"...that's stupid." The heiress stared at the screen as the boy gave his reason for dying his hair and running from school. "...you don't want to be student council president? THEN DON'T BE, INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM SCHOOL AND TRYING TO BE A DELINQUENT."

"...ship tease? Seriously? More ship tease between Ryuuji and Taiga?!" Weiss cried, exasperated. "Quit pushing that ship, you morons!"

"You're cheering so much for him getting with Minori, you don't actually realise he hasn't had any moments with her at all yet." Yang reminded her, stopping the heiress in her tracks.

"...wha-" She shook her head. "Anyway, ignoring you...oh good Dust, Yasuko has some sense in her head, so she's not completely like Yang.

...and Taiga, for once, your plan isn't stupid. Running for student council president might actually work..." Weiss tapped her chin, nodding.

Ruby nodded in assent. "That's a brilliant plan, you know. Let's see how it pans out!"

...

Episode 16

"...well, that explains it. The moron's crushing on Sumire!" Weiss sighed irritably. "He's still a moron, but a lovestruck one!

That makes it worse!"

"...so many speeches! The plot!" Ruby stared at the screen. "It's all going too fast..."

Weiss flicked her slightly on the ear. "No it's not. Quit being dramatic."

Yang frowned. "Why do I get a slap and she gets a flick?!"  
"Because she's an idiot, you're a perverted idiot."

Blake stared at Taiga as she ended up pounding the former student council president for being a 'coward'.

"Wow. She's got balls, I'll give her that...and she beat her, too!"  
"She is the Palmtop Tiger." Yang shrugged casually. "What did you expect was going to happen?"

"...that handbook is suspicious and I know that picture's coming back eventually..." Weiss noted.

"And...huh. Just 'idiot'. Somehow, I know that's a compliment."  
"Two tsunderes think alike~" Yang remarked, earning a pillow to the face for her troubles.

"I am NOT A TSUNDERE, Y-YOU DODDERING FOOL!"

* * *

Episodes 17-19

"OH MY DUST SO MOE AAAAHHH!" Ruby squeed at Taiga's display of being the 'angel of love', earning a flick on the ear from Weiss.

"Quit sounding like an obsessed fangirl, you dunce!" Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "If you weren't so stupidly adorable, I'd slap you.

...and what's wrong with Minori? Why's she not talking to Ryuuji? What?"  
Yang smiled enigmatically. "Never you worry, Weiss. You'll find out soon enough."  
"And why is Ryuuji so irritated that Taiga's with Kitamura? He got what he wanted, right?" Weiss scratched her head.

"These people are so confusing. I don't understand this anime."

Blake merely mouthed 'blind as a bat' over to Yang, shaking her head and chuckling.

"I SAW THAT BLAKE! I AM NOT BLIND!"

...

"See? That ship won't work!" Weiss declared. "Ami just said it was like a father doting on his daughter! It would be squicky!"  
"That's the same thing Tamaki thought about his relationship with Haruhi." Yang chuckled. "And I know you know how that ended."  
"That's not the same thing! They're all idiots, but Ryuuji isn't as stupid as Tamaki is!

And dammit, Minori, just take the invitation to the party!" Weiss sighed irritably. "Seriously! I don't understand you people!"

"...Taiga's really generous." Ruby, at this point, was nearly drooling from the adorableness. "Gaaahhhh moe tsunderes why do you do this to meeee-"

Blake shoved a cookie into her mouth. "Chew on that, you'll stop drooling so much."  
"So...moe..."

"MINORI YOU MORON IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT GRAH I AM GOING TO SLAP YOU" Weiss roared at the screen, shaking her fists. "ARRGHGHDFHDLGDMG"

Yang looked over at Blake. "Shall I fast-forward it to the next episode?"  
"I think that's a good idea." The catgirl nodded hastily.

...

"Ryuuji, you idiot." Weiss slapped her head with her palm for the umpteenth time. "Just what do you think you're doing, sneaking into Taiga's apartment in that get-up?"

"How do you know it's him?" Ruby tilted her head. "It's not like the bear's said anything."  
"They're best friends and he's just left the party, and she's lonely. What did you expect? I'm not blind, Ruby, despite what some people claim!" The heiress declared sharply.

"...this is so adorable!" Ruby squeed, sighing and almost melting in her chair. "GAAAHHHH MY NUTBLADDER"

Yang rolled her eyes. "You two, just screw already. We can all see it."  
"YANG! Quit being so vulgar!" Weiss snapped. The brawler looked surprised.

"What? It's true! Even YOU have to see they're going to end up together."  
"N-not at all-" The heiress, was, of course, interrupted by Taiga proceeding to scream his name into the night sky, while crying, asking for him to come back.

She was rendered speechless by her entire prediction for the series being proven completely wrong in the space of several minutes.

"...I...I don't believe it." Weiss stared at the screen, dumbfounded.

Yang sighed, clapping sarcastically. "And the last horse crosses the finish line."  
"Yep." Blake whistled. "Took her long enough to figure that out. Sheesh, even Taiga herself wouldn't take so long."

"..." Weiss sighed, muttering. "...this is ridiculous, and how can I be so blind..."

Ruby patted her on the back. "At least you noticed it before they got together."

Yang merely collapsed, laughing her head off with Blake.

* * *

Episodes 20-22

"Guess that rejection really took a load out of him." Weiss muttered. "So what now? What's the plan? Is she going to confess? Is Minori going to back down now she KNOWS Taiga's after him?"

Yang smiled. "Something like that."

"You just HAVE to be a tease, don't you?" The heiress grumbled. "Fine, I guess I'll figure it out myself!

How convenient that the hotel burned down and it's now a ski trip. I can ALREADY smell the ship tease..."

Blake stared at the heiress, dumbfounded. "She actually got genre savvy!"

"I've watched enough anime to get that, you dunce, now shut up and quit treating me like I'm blind!"

Ruby nibbled on a cookie. "I do wonder what Minori's going to do, now that she knows what the situation is. Is she going to give her away, fight for him or...

Well, it ought to be interesting, anyway."

...

"Oh, of course." Weiss grumbled, shaking her head. "Those idiots are hiding inside the girl's closet like perverts...how did I not expect that?"

"Did perverts have to be the first thing on your mind?" Yang commented.

The heiress exhaled. "I'm stuck in a dorm with you, Yang, of course they'd be first on my mind. It's not like Velvet doesn't hide in closets to stalk me anyway."

"True point." The brawler conceded.

Blake scratched her head. "Is Minori trying to give Taiga away to Ryuuji or something? Because if she is, it's working- she denied him so hard he ended up being sick."

"Something like that." Yang stated. "It's more like a contest between Taiga and Minori to see who can give Ryuuji to who, the winner, so to speak, being the one who doesn't end up with Ryuuji. Or something, I don't know, maybe Minori's hot for Taiga."

"Oh, seriously, you idiots. Taiga probably got herself injured, thanks to your stupid squabbling..." The heiress muttered. "And what do you know, she DID!

Good Dust, if Ryuuji didn't find her, this series would be a LOT shorter."

Ruby sighed, clapping. "Awww...she can't stop loving him! That's adorable! Can't we have a love story like that, Weiss?"

"You'd probably be the one in Taiga's spot, knowing how clumsy you are..." Weiss muttered darkly, causing Ruby to pout, offended.

"You wound me so, my princess...", she declared dramatically, clutching her chest.

...

"Oh, seriously, Ryuuji, let's have it over with. Even if Kitamura lies about ending the one who heard her confession, pretty soon, she's going to figure out you carried her up and heard everything." Weiss rolled her eyes. "And what's the point? At this stage, it's pretty obvious you two are in love and nothing's going to change that."

Yang have her a quizzical look. Weiss shot an irritated glare at her.

"WHAT?!"

"Sounds EXACTLY like the things we said about you back when you still thought you didn't love Ruby~"

"This is COMPLETELY different! You can't draw a comparison here!" The heiress complained.

"...and good Dust, her mother's a decent person. There's that, at least-wait, wait, she just SKIPPED school to do that?! Well, I suppose I can't question that."

Yang rolled her eyes. "As I said, Taiga, quit being so noble, we all know you want to,take him on the balcony. So DO IT. Hell, Minori would probably be fine with joining in, given her track record-"

Weiss rubbed her temples, sighing exasperatedly for the umpteenth time. "Not EVERY couple is going to have a threesome just because they're all into each other! There's a thing called 'inhibitions' which you clearly seem to lack!"

"Yeah. But they're all beating around the bush like idiots! I bet letting all that frustration out would fix them right up..."

Blake blushed, glaring at Yang. "S-shut up and just watch the anime!"

"Not you too, Blakey!"

* * *

Episodes 23-25

"The future. A hard thing to think about." Weiss mused, nodding. "I can understand."

"...see? I'm LESS responsible than his mom! I wouldn't put so much effort in that I'd faint at my place of work!" Yang declared. Weiss gave her an unamused stare.

"Like I said, not sure that's a thing to be proud of."

"Good Dust, they're all sneaky." Ruby declared. "Using Ami's fanservice to get customers..."

"Same principle that stupid Hokuago Teatime used to get everyone to like them..." Blake muttered bitterly. "How is a cute girl in a French maid outfit more of a crowd draw than a dinosaur in a top hat and monocle anyway?!"

"Shush!" Weiss snapped. "Trying to watch.

Oh, you were NOT joking about it being a 'contest', Yang. Good Dust, will both of you just share or something? Not like anyone's going to stop you!"

"Oh dear, is Weiss Schnee supporting a threesome?" The brawler inquired mischievously.

"O-of course not! I am suggesting a mutually beneficial platonic relationship!"

Yang shrugged non-chalantly. "Call it whatever you like, it's still OT3 to me."

...

"RYUUJI AND TAIGA YOU ARE A BUNCH OF MORONS WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY" Weiss screeched at the TV. "GRAAAAH"

Ruby hugged her girlfriend in an attempt to calm her down, cooing quietly to her.

Blake whistled. "Nosebleeds are like crying in life. That's deep, Minori. That really is."

"Minori/Ami OTP!" Yang declared proudly. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"AND YOU STUPID PERV SHE'S NOT EVEN YOUR WIFE YET"

"You're right, they haven't even consummated it yet." Yang mused, earning herself a punch in the gut. As she clutched her belly in pain, Weiss glared at her.

"YOU DUMB PERVERTED CHIHUAHUA"

"...a-at least I proved...y-you're exactly...like Taiga...ow...", the brawler wheezed out, winded by the punch.

...

Weiss exhaled deeply. "At least Yasuko ended up coming for them, even if she acts like a big baby.

So, more responsible than Yang."

"See? I'm COMPLETELY different!" Yang declared proudly, earning a glare from the heiress."

"Don't you grasp the concept of an _insult_, Yang?"

"Your insults are terrible, Weiss. I'm too awesome to be offended by them."

Ruby cheered. "About time they kissed! And thrice for that matter!"

The brawler nodded in assent. "Heh. 'One more' indeed. Almost like you and Weiss!"

"Would you _quit_ comparing me to Taiga, you moron?!" Weiss snapped.

"...are you serious? Taiga just...ups and leaves? After all that?" Blake stared at the screen.

Weiss, too, was dumbfounded. "You mean to tell me this series builds all that up only to have her LEAVE?!

Screw this, I'm done!"

The heiress stormed out before Yang could stop her.

"Wait for the credits-aaaaand she's gone." The brawler sighed. Blake raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Taiga comes back at the end. Ryuuji finally has the balls to say he loves her. It only happens after the credits, though."

Ruby nodded slowly. "I see...clever. Must be frustrating if you ignore the credits, though."

"I nearly made that mistake myself." Yang admitted. "Heh...although, rumour has it, they ended up screwing and having tri-OW!"

As Yang finished that sentence, a wooden _bokken_ sailed through the dorm window in a perfect arc, hitting her dead on the head. Blake blinked.

"That looks..."

"...exactly like Taiga's." Ruby completed for her. The two girls shared a look before rushing to the window to see...nobody.

Blake tilted her head. "Huh. Could've sworn she was there..."

"Ow..." The brawler rubbed her head. "Can I have some ice please? That really hurt..."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Good god that took too long. Next chapter, thanks to Dagger of Faith, will be a Shadow of Fire, Part 3, as a favour to her!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, comments, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	52. Special Chapter: Shadow of Fire, Part 3!

**Weiss Reacts to The Shadow of Fire, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! As a favour to our friend ****Dagger of Faith****, we'll be doing a third cover of her fanfic 'The Shadow of Fire'. It's also possibly the only fic with the honor of being covered by Weiss Reacts not once, not twice, but three times! I THINK it's an honor- I mean, I don't know how this fic's so well-known, but eh. **

**That kept in mind, let's get this chapter out of the way!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a Indiana Jones-esque Hunter. I'm going to be stealing that for an OC idea now.**

**The Shadow of Fire belongs to ****Dagger of Faith****. Warning for spoilers.**

**All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"My life is complete!" Yang announced, hanging the _bokken_ that had hit her on the head, giving it pride of place on her wall, alongside various plushies, signed memorabilia of Hokuago Teatime, Risette, Pentakill and AKB0048, with only one significant gap; to this day, she hadn't found the Pink Argus Featherman picture she'd gotten signed from the actress herself that she'd lost, so she'd assumed it got lost in the invisible vortex where all lost socks, keys and assorted deitrus did.

Weiss stared at her. "You don't even know if it _belongs_ to this Taiga girl-"  
"Of course it does! It has her NAME on it!" Yang protested, pointing to several tiny characters inscribed onto the handle, indeed translating to 'T. Aisaka'. "If only she'd actually shown up, though..."  
Blake scoffed. "I think someone's screwing with you then, Yang. Unless you're _seriously_ suggesting Taiga got _lost_ to her own cameo..."

"Pfft." The brawler shook her head. "You're just jealous that _I_ have Taiga's very own _bokken_!"  
"...that she hit you on the head with after throwing it through the window." Ruby reminded her.

"It's STILL a victory!"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, attempting not to lose her temper. "Someday, Yang, we're going to get you checked with the school counsellor, and then we're going to see what is _wrong_ with you."  
"Wrong with me? I'm perfectly fine!" Yang retorted. "M-meanie!"

The heiress' eyes narrowed. "Can we find something to do before I'm tempted to execute Yang for idiocy? Seriously, I'm tempted to steal that 'dumb Chihuahua' insult, it describes Yang _perfectly_."

"I'm offended by such a comment!" Yang protested. "I'd describe myself more like a Great Dane, or a Saint Bernard!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "You two, get a room."

They both turned to her, glaring. "S-shut up, Blake!"

Ruby raised a finger. "We could read that one fic that we never really read again because stuff came up."  
"That's a lot of fics." Blake reminded her. Ruby tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"Um...it was the...err...Shadow of Flames? I think?"  
"The Shadow of Fire." The catgirl snapped her fingers in realisation. "I think that's it. Good idea."  
"We're using your computer, since mine's still being repaired after _someone_," Weiss stated venomously, glaring at Blake. "...after _someone_ decided to calculate some stupid equation of fanservice and manliness!"

"I said I was _sorry_, dammit!" The catgirl protested. "I even paid for repairing your computer!"  
"Still doesn't mean you didn't _break _it." The heiress reminded her harshly. "But fine, I guess we'll use Ruby's computer instead, if you insist."

"Okay." Ruby shrugged. "So, Yang, grab some snacks, I guess we're going on another binge!"  
"We haven't done anything fun in a while!" The brawler complained. "All we do nowadays is sit around in here and watch anime or read fanfic!"

"And your ideas are mainly stupid perverted antics." Weiss retorted snappily. "I rest my case!"  
"You people are boring..."

* * *

"Those are some _serious_ stakes." Yang whistled at the notion of Heaven itself being at war with each other. "This sounds like a Shin Megami Tensei game."

"Or Disgaea." Blake pointed out. "Eh. Sounds like Team Dai-Gurren needs to get in there and knock some heads together to get them to see sense."

"Ugh...why am I such a stupid _pervert_ here?!" Weiss complained. "I would _never_ picture Ruby in a red bikini! NEVER!"  
"Right, you'd picture her in _black_." Yang commented, earning a punch on the arm.

"Ugh, you're _such_ a deviant, you know that?"  
"I live by that creed."

Blake whistled, tapping her chin in contemplation. "We should get Siegmund and Dagonus in the same room and see who'd win."

"Knowing Dagonus and knowing Siegmund...as much as I hate to say it, I don't know who'd win that fight." Yang commented. "And you know it's _that_ kind of universe when people use 'being dead' as a _relationship enhancer_."  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "As if. We're not that easy to kill.

...and WHY DOES RUBY ALWAYS GET KILLED OFF ARE YOU KIDDING ME"

"Aww man, why do _I _always get killed off?!" Ruby complained. "I like living, you know!"

"...you know, that's not even the _first _time you died in this fic." Yang mused. "At this point, the Underworld probably has a revolving door for you or something."

"Still!"

"Wait, Ruby, getting higher than _me_ on a test?" Weiss stared at the screen in shock, her mouth agape and her eyes wide.

"Even _I_ think that's a tad bit unrealistic." Ruby nodded in assent. "I don't study at all!"

Blake's expression hardened. "You sound like you're proud of that."  
"Hey! I get, like, seventy-five percent! That's a passing grade!"

"The only class you ever bother doing anything in is Self-Defence." Weiss muttered. Ruby pouted, crossing her arms.

"T-that's because Cinder's a _fun_ teacher!"

"...okay, _Ozpin_ I can accept came back to life fourteen times." Blake nodded. "He can scare _Zelretch, _ for Dust's sake-certainly scared me, at any rate. He could probably make Death make him coffee for fun or something."

Weiss sighed. "...and now Ruby's a _complete_ nutter. Or a pervert. I can't even tell!"

"Nutter. I doubt she's trying to jump your bones, Weiss~" Yang teased her. "Not if she's biting you, at any rate.

Blake exhaled, sitting back on her beanbag, popping another piece of popcorn into her mouth. "So, the apparent 'Master' Hunter gets blown up, and Ozpin is even _more_ of a badass as he ends up pulling some Sidereal-level kung-fu magic.

Is Ozpin Exalted or something?"  
"Probably." Yang shrugged. "Wouldn't be surprised if _our_ Ozpin was Exalted."

...

"Death's cheap in this world." Yang yawned. "Seriously, as well as she writes it, it's not shocking to see Ruby die a _third_ time. Seriously, even Weiss should be used to it by now!"  
"An exploded heart. That sounds exactly like a Fatality..." Blake shuddered. "Or that one technique from Kill Bill..."

Ruby frowned. "Why do people always kill _me_ off?!"

"You're the adorable all-loving moe hero. So, you're basically between Isara and Mami in the eyes of the plot reaper." Yang pointed out. "Unless we're in one of those fics which follows shonen rules, in which case everyone AROUND you dies.

Which, granted, isn't very comforting for _us_."

Blake clapped slowly. "Points for going out in style at least. Can't deny that _turning into an interdimensional portal_'s a good way to go."

"I'm not a Final Fantasy summon, dammit!" Ruby pouted. "I don't like being the one who always gets killed off..."

"How do you think I feel?" Weiss chimed in. "I get killed off in fics all the time to make _you_ cry!"

The brawler shrugged again. "Least this fic's got the benefit of being in a world where death is cheap!"  
"Gee, like _that's_ going to soften the blow of being killed for the umpteenth time! I feel SO much better now!" The heiress stated harshly.

Ruby cheered. "I ended up as the goddess of time! I'm _awesome_!"

"Oh good grief, Ruby turned into Chronos." Yang sighed. "I'm wondering if this author knew about Persona Q before it came out, all things considered.

We also might need one of those 'Orion owned' counters. You know, like Krillin does in that one abridged series!"

"Of course." Weiss grumbled. "Of COURSE, even when she's a goddess who is practically in full genocide mode, she picks _cookies_ as her pass code! What an absolute _dunce_!"

"Weiss _Melody_ Schnee?" Yang snickered. "Least it's better than _Brunhilde_..."

Weiss glared at her. "Brunhilde is a RESPECTABLE name! "

"Just saying~"  
"...and trust Weiss to call the god of _love_ to fight for her. Why can't she call the god of Killing Things Horribly With A Silver Spoon or something?" Blake complained.

"Take what I get." Weiss shrugged casually. "As irritating as that sounds."

...

"Oh, look, we even have a Zen counterpart. I think. I dunno, I'm probably getting that plot part mixed up." Yang scratched her head, shaking it in the end.

"Two Rubys?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Sounds...intriguing."  
"I bet you're imagining having two girlfriends now, hm?" Blake teased Weiss, earning a blush and a glare.

"S-shut up! I am _not_! I have the benefit of _lacking_ Yang's perversion, thank you very much!"

"_Grimm_lock?" Yang cringed. "That...is an absolutely _terrible_ pun!

Grimlock would be ashamed. Or pissed. Probably the latter."  
"I'd think the King of Beasts would be a lion or something." Blake mused, nodding slowly. Weiss scoffed.

"Clearly it would be a shark! Sharks are the perfect creatures! They haven't even changed a bit in eons! They are _perfection_! _PERFECTION_!"

...

"How is _three_ years considered _not long_?! We're humans, not immortals!" Weiss complained.

"Once again, our theory that Ozpin in this fic is secretly a Sidereal Exalted is given proof." Blake tapped her chin. "Excellent."

"Even as a _goddess_, Ruby's still a pervert." Weiss grumbled. "Seriously, she can _handle_ a naked girl! It's not like we're about to do something _indecent_!"

Yang giggled. "Ruby just can't handle the delicious flat chest~"  
"MY CHEST IS ADEQUATE YOU MORON NOW STOP TALKING ABOUT IT OR I SWEAR I WILL HAVE YOU EXECUTED FOR TREASON!"

Ruby merely drooled. "Flat...chests..."

"...and I do _NOT_ think I want to trust Blake anywhere near my head with a scalpel. Or her _weapon_. Even if I needed to have a tracker in my head- which is a terrible place to put it- removed!" The heiress shuddered at the thought. The catgirl crossed her arms, offended.

"Gee, thanks. Nice to know my _best friend_ trusts me _so _much!" She rolled her eyes, inducing Weiss to shoot a glare at her.  
"Knowing you, you'd probably use a _drill_ to pull it out!"

"That, I can't deny." Blake sighed, conceding the point.

"That's not _comforting_ at ALL!"

* * *

"Yang? Mature?" Weiss scoffed, shaking her head. "I don't even know how _gods_ can mistake her for _mature_."  
"Maybe because I'm just so curvaceous and sexy-looking~"  
"No, then Winter would be more mature." Weiss remarked with a smirk, knowing full well the effect it would have on Yang. The brawler gave her a dark look, breathing heavily.

"Quit that. Just quit that, Weiss. Just watch, I will make myself sexier than her! Just you watch!"

"...I'm offended that I'm scared of dogs here!" Blake scoffed. "Being scared of dogs isn't manly!"  
"Didn't you _own_ a pet Grimm?" Weiss inquired. "What happened to him?"  
"Cerberus?" The catgirl tilted her head. "Oh, he's somewhere."

"Come to think of it, where's Zwei?" Yang scratched her head. "Haven't seen him all day."  
Ruby raised a finger. "I let him out to walk. Cinder said it was okay as long as he didn't break anything."  
"You utter dunce..." Weiss slapped her forehead. "They're probably doing something stupid now."

_Meanwhile..._

"PIPIPIPIPI!" Vivi squealed as a horde of fangirls chased after her. Cerberus, the tamed Beowolf, ran away from them, bearing the plushie, howling in terror of the horde.

Zwei was sprinting alongside them, having a bag of Ruby's cookies in his mouth.

Driving alongside them was Norn on a motorcycle, surveying the situation with her flat face.

"...the likelihood of this situation ending well is under one percent, miss Vivi-"  
"PIPIPIPI!" Vivi commanded, yanking on Cerberus' fur more and moving faster. Norn stared at her.

"...so it seems."

_Back with team RWBY..._

"...and dammit, Saturn! We've killed you, what...okay, we've only killed you once, but do you mind _staying_ dead?!" Weiss cried, exasperated. "Seriously!"

...

Weiss inhaled, before absolutely losing it on the screen.

"YOU IDIOT! WHY ARE YOU PICKING HIM UP FOR HELP?! THE WHOLE OF THE VYTALIAN CONTINENT AND THE MAN WHO WANTS TO KILL YOU IS THE ONE YOU PICK?!"

"He's a mercenary. Probably won't kill you as long as you keep him paid." Yang shrugged. "As much as you hate his guts, at least he's loyal to your money."  
"I'm still going to call my story-self an idiot for trusting him."

"Cheshire is Pinkie Pie, everyone knows this, I called it!" Blake announced. "And no, this is not an announcement that MLP's going to be covered by this fic, Elf STILL doesn't find it interesting!"

"You just disappointed all the fans, Blake." The brawler remarked with a chuckle.

"And I _feed_ on their tears."

"...wow. That Maelstrom. Isn't that like that-" Yang started, before Blake shot a glare at her, silencing her.

"Like?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. Ruby looked over, curious.

"Yeah, like?"  
"None of your business." The catgirl cut them off, much to Weiss' surprise.

"...actually, probably wise I don't know." The heiress reflected. "It's going to be a stupid antic, I know it."

"Good, wouldn't be wanting to give spoilers away _just_ yet."

...

"NOW Saturn's a good guy?" Weiss stared at the screen in shock. "I don't even..._what_?!"

"So far, we have Touko and her organisation, Xalveris and _his_, and all the good guys." Yang nodded, rubbing her temples. "This is confusing me..."

"You and me both..." Ruby whined, frowning. "Nyaaaaah...so confused..."

Weiss sighed. "Story-self, you're a moron. Not even thinking about the whole Dagonus thing when you know _full_ well he's scum!"

"Shush. Plot needs to happen." Yang cautioned her. Weiss sighed.

"Still..."

"Well, so much for Ozpin being a Sidereal Exalted." Blake sighed. "And _damn_ he moved fast."

"Woooow. Everyone got _wrecked_." Yang whistled.

Weiss grumbled. "And I have no doubt that we'll win at Fort Scatter only to get killed _again_ when we get back to Vale..."

"At this rate, everyone's going to be dead by the last chapter and it'll be all about talking about the weather." Ruby quipped.

"I seriously doubt that, Ruby." The heiress sighed, shaking her head. "Although it'll come really close..."

...

Weiss' eyes narrowed.

"Indeed, the heroes of your world _are_ complete idiots." The heiress conceded, exhaling deeply. "Just how does one teleport themselves into a desk?!"

"I dunno! Things happen, Weiss!" Ruby protested, frowning.

"Ohohoho, things are happening now!" Yang noted. "Pod bombardment, Vale being sacked...this ought to be interesting."

"Guess she's earned the right to be called Cheshire." Blake clapped slowly. "Ouch, that _ought _ to hurt..."

"Are you serious?" Weiss sighed. "Great. More cannibals. We already have _enough_ cannibals in this fanfic archive as it is!

And if she's going to insult people, at least insult them with some sense of intelligence! It's spelled _mice_! Not mouses!" Her eyelid twitched.

"She _eats_ people and you're commenting on her spelling?" Yang responded, raising an eyebrow.  
"At least Hannibal has the intelligence to be well-spoken."

The brawler nodded slowly. "You...make a surprisingly twisted point there."

...

"Orion, you blind _dunce_." Weiss slapped her forehead with her palm for the umpteenth time. "If you somehow _suspect_ it's Dagonus whose behind everything, then have a _look_! Not hard!"

"Somehow, I suspect this thing's supposed to be a tragedy of errors." Yang noted. "He may not be perfect, but dammit, Orion, you already know Dagonus will do _anything_ to get his throne!"

"Meanwhile, Adam beats someone up." Blake declared. "Eh. Not surprised."

"Cheshire's still a disgusting cannibal..." The heiress muttered, shuddering.

Ruby stared at the screen. "Woooow, my dad is a _jerk_."

"You only just noticed?" Weiss remarked.

"But he just took over a kingdom because he wanted a throne!"

"My point stands, Ruby."

"If Cinder ever heard Ruby say that, she'd probably go mad." Yang chuckled.

"Cinder's a cool name!" The reaper protested. "How is it dumb?!"  
Blake shrugged. "I dunno, same way someone named after an _ice cream_ can be dumb."

"To be fair, _Neo_ isn't exactly a dumb name." Yang reminded her.

"Good point."

"...aaaand my dad in this world's a jerk, but at least he has the guts to own up to it." Weiss sighed. "Typical."

Ruby looked at the screen, gesturing to it. "You see?! Even THEY know I keep getting killed!"

"She probably just enjoys killing you off or something." The brawler shrugged. "No matter how many times she says she doesn't."

...

"Ugh. Not even a fun fight." Blake scoffed. "Adam, you suck-wait, wait, WHAT?!

Are you serious?! I...that's so _stupid_! Mecha-Grimm pinning _me_ down?! How _unmanly_!"

"Not everyone's as _manly_ as you, Blake! Get over it!" Weiss snapped bitterly. "Seriously!"

"MANLINESS IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!"

"And, as expected, Saturn's a backstabbing traitor who's only loyal to money." Weiss rolled her eyes. "As I said, my story-self should never have trusted him.

Now, we're done here. Review?"

Ruby raised her hand. "I wanna do it! I never get to do it anymore!"

* * *

**From: DaLittleRougeFightingHood**

i love this fic omd pls mkae mor

luv, rubes

ps. stp kiling me of pls it maks me cri

* * *

Weiss rolled her eyes. "As always, your spelling amazes me, Ruby."

Ruby merely giggled. "I just type too quickly..."

Yang looked around, hoping for something fun to happen. "...no Taiga cameo? Seriously?

...screw this, I want to react to another anime soon. Just so I can actually _get_ my stupid cameo trick thing out of the way!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: A huge thanks to ****Dagger of Faith ****for letting us do her fic once more!**

**Next chapter, finally, we will be doing the party game Mafia.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, thoughts and criticisms, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	53. Weiss Reacts to Mafia!

**Weiss Reacts to Mafia!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! For those who have never played Mafia before, it is a hilarious party game, which if any of you have the time to look it up- this chapter will be in no way an accurate reflection of a real game of Mafia- and play it, you should. It is just plain hilarious!**

**Black comedy abounds, as always!**

**With the gush out of the way, let's get this chapter over with!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Pyrrha would wear a spy catsuit at some point.**

**All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Happy anniversary to me and Renny!" Nora blew a candle out on a large stack of syrup-covered pancakes- topped with whipped cream and strawberries, of course, and hugged Ren to her side, squeezing him tightly.

It had been a year to the day Ren and Nora officially became lovers- though, despite Nora's violent protests, she'd already loved him for a _very_ long time prior. To celebrate, Nora decided to round up everyone she could- team RWBY, the rest of her team as well as Velvet and Yatsuhashi, Cardin, Melanie, Sun and Neptune. She'd even managed to drag Minako, Norn and Sir Lyserg out of their dorms to play- sadly, Coco was in the infirmary on account of an accident with the lightbulbs in CFVY dorm, with Fox watching over her as well as Elsa.

Yang clapped, cheering. "Happy anniversary!"

"Nora...you're crushing me a little." Ren wheezed out, grunting. Nora relinquished her grip on him, giggling.

"Sorry, Ren~ I just _wuv_ you sooooo much~"  
"Heh. Love you too, Nora." The gunslinger smiled a little, sighing at her and shaking his head.

Ruby frowned. "Why don't we ever do that..."  
"Because you always end up tripping and hugging my legs when you try." Weiss responded snippily.

"Oh." Ruby looked somewhat deflated. "Okay."

Jaune looked around, sighing happily. "This is one awesome party, Nora. How much did this cost you?"  
"Money is no object!" Nora saluted proudly. "Grandpa's always happy to make stuff happen!"

Pyrrha nodded at the huge amount of food in their dorm, impressed. "How much, do you say, your grandfather was willing to pay for this?"  
"Grandpa Valkyrie's always spoiling her." Ren explained. "I'm pretty sure he paid for Magnhild's construction out of his own pocket."

"See? The pancake gods have _blessed_ me with the most badass grandpa ever! He wrestled a _dragon_ into making him his master! A _dragon_!" Nora squeed. "Not to mention introducing me to the worship of the Pancake Gods- to whom I dedicate this _delectable_ meal!"

Minako scribbled down some notes, nodding at Nora. "I wonder if I could somehow get Pancake-no-Okami as a Persona if I built a Social Link with her...that'd be cool..."

Weiss bowed her head to Nora, grateful for the food. "Thanks for inviting us."  
"Heehee! You guys are, like, my best friends! Of _course _I'd invite you!" Nora gave her a thumbs up. "So, guys, you wanna do something fun?"  
"As long as it doesn't involve getting someone naked, pasting someone in custard pies and chocolate cakes, or stripping someone and shoving them into a maid costume, I'm game." The heiress declared. Ruby spoke up, raising her finger to get attention.

"Yeah, what do you have in mind?"

Nora rubbed her hands together gleefully. "Well, I've got this one game in mind, I suppose..." She tapped her chin, thinking deeply.

"It's this party game called Mafia." Ren explained, pulling out a box of white cards from underneath the table.

"Oh!" Blake nodded. "I've played it before!"

Ren held up a finger to silence her, before continuing. "Allow me to explain the rules. They're fairly simple.

There are two teams- the innocents and the Mafia. The innocents want to vote the Mafia out, the Mafia want to kill the innocents. There are always more innocents than there are Mafiosi. There are also some neutral parties who can win on their own terms.

There are also two phases; during the day, the innocents can vote to kill one person. During the night, the mafia can kill one person. In that way, there will be at least one death per day.

The innocents win if there is not a single Mafioso left, but the Mafia win if they outnumber the innocents at any point in the game. The Mafia also know who is and isn't in the Mafia. I will not be playing, as a neutral party to determine who's on what side.

These cards hold roles for each side. These roles will modify how you help your team out and so forth. Any other questions?"

Blake raised her hand.

"No, there is no role called 'Aniki'."

Blake's hand lowered. Weiss' shot up. "And will this game involve me doing stupid pervert things?"  
"Not at all."  
Weiss sighed in relief. "Finally, a party game that doesn't involve me doing something stupid! Better than Yang's _strip poker_..."

Velvet began drooling at the thought of Weiss stripping, but she was kept grounded in reality by a slap from Yatsuhashi to the back of the head.  
Yang grinned mischievously, giggling. "Sure, Weiss, keep saying that. You _want_ to see Ruby's lingerie and you know that!"

She whispered over to Weiss. "By the way, they're black."  
Ruby blushed profusely. "YANG!"

"Just-OWWWWWW" Yang clutched her foot, yelping in pain. Weiss felt a vein pulse in her temple.

"Dumb Chihuahua! Quit being such a pervert."

Sun laughed, leaning back in his chair and resting his head on his hands. "Sure, I'm up for it. Sounds like a fun game."

"One has experienced worse things." Sir Lyserg sipped his tea, resting his tail on the floor behind his chair and adjusting his monocle.

"As always, the chances of this game, as Blake states and I quote, travelling towards waste matter are currently at fifty percent." Norn remarked calmly. Weiss' eyes narrowed.

"Gee, I'm just _so_ filled with confidence at hearing that. Perfect..."

Nora produced several marked chopsticks. "Alright! The Queen has spoken! I'm going to give you all chopsticks, and the ones that have red on them are the Mafia, the black ones are innocents, and the unmarked ones are neutrals!

The Queen's word is _law_! Chop chop!"

Yang sighed, rolling her eyes and laughing. "Nora, that's the wrong game!"  
"Is it?" The berserker pouted. "Awwww..."

Weiss slapped her head with her palm. "Good grief, Nora."

* * *

Ren studied each person's sticks, nodding, before passing out cards as appropriate, taking care to keep the contents of the cards secret.

"Right, the Mafia must know who each Mafia member is, so I've taken the liberty of writing down who your fellow co-conspirators are.

Familiarise yourselves with your roles and we'll begin soon!"

Weiss looked up, examining her own card and nodding quickly before pocketing it. "Understood. So, may we begin?"

Yang pocketed her card and chopstick. "Yeah, enough talk. Let's get to playing, okay?"

Nora merely giggled at her role, pocketing her card. Everyone except Lyserg pocketed theirs- the dinosaur instead placed his inside his hat.

Ren nodded. "Alright, then. We'll go straight to the first night phase. Everyone shut their eyes, and only those with night roles can open them when I say so. Mafia may convene as well to pick a target to kill.

Night phase starts...now!"

Night Phase 1

Everyone shut their eyes, allowing the night phase to begin.

Weiss opened her eyes shortly after, looking at her own card, _Investigator_\- that is to say, she could find out the ability of any one person at night and only finding out at the end what their target's role was.

'_Tch. Another party game. I need to win this one- I am _sick_ of losing games, and Yang will NEVER let me live this one down..._

_Alright, I'll investigate Melanie. She seems suspicious.'_

Weiss called Ren over, whispering. "As investigator, I choose to investigate Melanie."

"Understood." Ren nodded. "Your target works with the dead. She is either a Janitor, a Medium or a Spirit Caller."

"...right." The heiress sighed. "Thanks for the information..."

...

Day Phase 1

"Alright, it's daytime." Ren announced, allowing Weiss to open her eyes. The group looked around, realising one of their own was missing- no, two of them, two chairs were empty now.

Weiss looked up. "I'm guessing someone died?"

"Last night, Melanie was killed." Nora announced, a sniffle in her voice. "She was shot by the Mafia. She was a Medium, who could speak to the dead."

Weiss nodded. _'As expected._'

Neptune was also killed last night. He was stabbed by the Serial Killer. He was an average Innocent."

Yang sighed. "Dammit. There goes the medium, as usual.

So, anyone know who Mafia is?"

Norn shook her head. "None at all. We would need to investigate to figure them out."  
Blake's eyes flitted between everyone. "Who's acting suspicious, hm?"

The heiress' eyes narrowed. "Well, _you_."

"Riiiight." Yang nodded. "I'll see about that, you mafia _scum_."  
"I'm not the mafia, you moron!" Weiss snapped. "If anything, you're acting shiftier than me!"  
Pyrrha raised her hand. "Let's approach this logically. We can't know who is Mafia and who the serial killer is, so clearly we have no idea who it could possibly be today.

I suggest holding back on the lynching for today and see what happens."  
"You have a point..." Sun nodded. "We don't know anything about who isn't Mafia and who is."

Minako raised her hand. "I vote not to lynch anyone today."  
"Seconded!" Jaune nodded quickly.

Velvet squeed. "Whatever Weiss-sempai goes with, I'm happy with~"  
"Ugh...pervert, but...I suppose, no voting anyone out." The heiress sighed, adding her own input.

Everyone else began raising their hands, voting not to vote anyone else out. Ren nodded.

"Understandable. Making your move based on logical assumptions makes complete sense. Very well.

The day fades to night, and all will go to sleep, as those who act at night shall act. Close your eyes, those who can act at night may do so soon."

...

Night Phase 2

Weiss closed her eyes, before looking up again.

'_Alright, who to investigate next...'_ The heiress contemplated briefly. _'Yang was awfully quick to call for the Medium, but Minako and Jaune were quick to call for no lynches. Wait, Blake was acting suspicious of me...so..._

_...I'll investigate Sun, actually._'

"I choose to investigate Sun." Weiss declared, and Ren nodded.

"Sun possesses weapons somewhere on his person. He is either a Mafioso, a Vigilante or an Arms Dealer."

"Right." Weiss nodded. _'The heck's an Arms Dealer_?'

...

Day Phase 2

Weiss opened her eyes, looking around. This time only one person was missing.

"Velvet was killed last night." Nora announced, dabbing at her eyes to remove the tears. "She was thrown off a building, shot, run over and disembowelled by the Mafia. Her role was Bodyguard, who could protect one person from being killed a night and kill their killer, at the cost of their own life..."  
The berserker sniffed. "Such a...honourable role..."

Outside, Velvet could be heard whining about being unable to protect her 'Weiss-sempai', followed by the loud sound of sobbing. The subsequent sounds of 'Pi' must have been Vivi coming across her to comfort her.

The heiress grumbled. "Just _perfect_."

Yang raised her hand. "I saw Sun target Velvet last night. I'm the Lookout. I know."

Sun stared at her. "No, I didn't! I can't even do anything at night!"

"LIAR!" The brawler accused. "You KNOW you're lying, you lying liar!"  
"Yang, you're quick to accuse him." Pyrrha pointed out. "Besides, you haven't got proof that you're the Lookout."  
"I can support her." Minako offered.

Sun stared at her. "What? But I didn't-"  
Ruby looked around. "Well, guys? Any other leads?"

Weiss nodded. "I know Sun has weapons, but that's it."

Nora pumped her fist. "Well, that settles it then! Sun is our killer, let's grab him! Whoever wants Sun dead, raise their hands!"

Everyone except Jaune and Norn did so. Sun blanched.

Norn tilted her head. "The chances of Sun being the actual killer are very low." The Persocom pointed out. "I wonder what-"  
"Bah, screw chances!" Blake waved her off. Ren closed his eyes and sighed.

"Very well. Sun gets hung from the gallows and dies.

He was a Vigilante, an Innocent who could kill anyone at night."

'_Confound it!_' Weiss mentally slapped herself. _'Should've known he was innocent._'

Sun sighed as he stood up, vacating his chair. "Dammit. I'm calling Yang was Mafia!"

The brawler merely stuck her tongue out at him as he strolled out of the room.

* * *

Night Phase 3

'_Alright. Yang claims to be Lookout, and Sun most likely did shoot Velvet. But if he's the Vigilante, then he did kill Velvet._' Weiss contemplated carefully. _'This provides a conundrum._

_Either Sun did kill her, and he's a moron, or he didn't, and one of the Mafia knew he was a Vigilante._

_I'll investigate...Minako. Yes, that seems like a wise choice._'

"Ren, I would like to-" Weiss started, but the gunslinger interrupted her.

"You have been blocked from your role tonight by an Escort. You did not get any results tonight."

Weiss stared at him in shock. _'What? Are you serious?!_'

...

Day Phase 3

"And so, much to Jaune's despair..." Nora began.

"HEY!"

"Pyrrha was slain last night, in the prime of her youth!" Nora continued dramatically, paying no heed to the offended knight. "She was found in her bed, stabbed to death by the Serial Killer.

She was an Escort, a beautiful woman or man with the power to distract one for a single night from their true roles!"

Yang pouted. "So why didn't I get that role?!"

Minako, meanwhile, visibly sidled up to Jaune, smiling. "Yaaaay, I get her chair now!"

"Gah! S-stop!"

"She visited Weiss last night!" Blake accused. "And as we all know, the Serial Killer kills anyone who visits them."

"I am NOT a Serial Killer!" Weiss retorted indignantly. "And if I was, I wouldn't have targeted Neptune, either!"

"She has a point." Jaune nodded. "She probably would've killed Yang off first."

"Exactly!"  
The brawler gave him an irritated look. "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."

Blake gave a shifty look towards Yatsuhashi and Sir Lyserg. "Those two have been _awfully _quiet."  
Yatsuhashi shrugged casually, drinking a glass of punch. "Nothing to say."

"I put my vote on Weiss." Yang raised her hand, followed by Minako. "She seems very suspicious."  
"I'm voting Sir Lyserg." Blake chimed in. "He hasn't spoken a word since we started. I'm not sure it's _Weiss_ we should be looking at, suspicious as she is."

Jaune put his own hand up. "Me too. Sir Lyserg needs to speak more."

"Thanks for _your_ vote of confidence." Weiss grumbled. "And if it's worth anything, I vote Yang."

"We need six votes to boot someone out." Ren announced. "Are you sure you want to split the vote that way?"

"You forgot us, good sir." Lyserg fixed his monocle. "I vote on Blake."

"Abstaining." Yatsuhashi crossed his arms, studying everyone around him. "I can't make a decision as to who's the Mafia and who's the Serial Killer."

'_Confound it, _none_ of them seems suspicious, except Yang and Blake._' Weiss contemplated, looking around.

"Two for Weiss, one for Yang, one for Blake, two for Lyserg and three abstainers." Ren sighed. "Very well, no lynches. The day phase passes without incident and everyone retreats into their homes for the night."

...

Night Phase 4

"Investigate Minako." Weiss stated as soon as the night started. Ren looked around, before passing her a note.

"Huh?"  
"The dead speak. Melanie has chosen to give you one final message from the afterlife. Do with it what you will." The gunslinger warned her, before looking around at Minako.

"She is excellent at handling documents. Minako is either a Framer, an Investigator, or a Mafia Cop."

'_I'm Investigator. She must be Mafia._' Weiss concluded, before studying the note from Melanie.

Yang not town. Not mafia either. Investigate please.

'_...she's the Serial Killer? Not that I'm surprised, but..._'

...

Day Phase 4

Today, Norn and Nora were missing. Ren did the narration that day, nodding.

"Last night, Nora was found dead."

Outside, Nora's bawling could be heard, followed by a muffled Pyrrha comforting her.

"She was shot, stabbed, disembowelled, defenestrated and then decapitated by the Mafia." The gunslinger declared. "Nora was the lookout, who followed the movements of any target at night.

Norn was found dead last night. She was stabbed by the Serial Killer.

She was the Mafioso, who shot the targets the Godfather demanded of her."

'_So. Yang and Minako are the Serial Killer and one Mafia role_.' Weiss rubbed her chin, looking shiftily around at the remains- Jaune, who looked very concerned and Minako, who was very close to him, Blake and Yang, Ruby, who was nibbling on a cookie nervously, Lyserg, Yatsuhashi and a somewhat disinterested and quiet Cardin.

Ruby chimed in. "Anyone have any leads on the mafia?"

"I think Cardin's the mafia." Blake responded, staring straight at him. Cardin lifted his head, raising his eyebrow.

"What makes you say that?"  
"You've been awfully quiet."

"I know this game as well as you do, dumbass." Cardin retorted. "If I reveal my role, I'm gonna get killed."  
"Definitely suspicious." The catgirl narrowed her eyes. "I say we vote him ou-"  
"Actually, I have enough proof to vote out Minako." Weiss interrupted her, causing Minako to stare at her in shock.

"I beg your pardon? I'm not guilty of anything!"  
"You are good at handling documents." Weiss read out her role. "So, Minako, want to make a claim?"  
"Investigator."

"Wrong." Blake shut her down. "I'm the investigator."  
_'Wait, what? What is Blake doing_?'Weiss stared at her teammate, but Minako didn't notice as she merely stared at Blake.

"Y-you're bluffing."  
"Prove it." The catgirl crossed her arms. "I'm waiting."  
"Blake seems SO guilty!" Yang snapped. "I say we vote HER out instead!"

Jaune stood up, having his hands. "Wait, wait, this all seems a _little_ too fast! I say we don't lynch anyone until we have enough proof that one of us is the Mafia or Serial Killer."

"Minako seems guilty enough." Yatsuhashi pointed out. "I say we kill her off."

"Oh, _thanks_." The brunette leered at him. "I love you too."

"I'm voting against!" Ruby raised her hand. "I don't like this situation."  
Weiss stared at her. "What do you mean you don't? She's clearly guilty! I'm voting yes to kicking her out!"

"I agree with Miss Rose." Sir Lyserg adjusted his monocle, growling slightly and lifting a claw. "It seems altogether too obvious that she's guilty. Almost as if she was framed, naturally."  
"Exactly!" Minako sighed in relief. "The talking dinosaur gets it!"  
"Utahraptor, Miss Arisato." The gentleman gently rebuked her. "I prefer to be called a _Utahraptor_ if you _must_ label my species."

Ren interjected, cutting both parties off. "So, Blake, Yatsuhashi and Weiss vote to lynch Minako, Yang votes Blake, and Jaune, Ruby and Sir Lyserg abstain.

We need four to lynch."

"I vote Minako out." Cardin spoke up. "She's suspicious as all hell. I also want Sir Lyserg and Ruby for being the Godfather and the Serial Killer! Get 'em!"

"Very well." Ren sighed. "Minako, you've been charged and found guilty of treason to the town, henceforth, you were sentenced to death by the Rabbit of Caerbannog.

Minako was a Framer, who made all she targeted seem guilty."

The brunette sighed, strolling out of the room. "Dammit," Minako muttered. "I was hoping to snuggle up to Jaune some more~"

The knight blushed as she walked out of the room with a smirk on her face.

* * *

Night Phase 5

Weiss turned to Ren. "I wish to investigate...Yang. Yang strikes me as off."

Ren nodded, obliging to her request. "Alright. Yang is considered to be insane by the town.

She is either the Serial Killer or the Jester."

'_Huh. My hunch was right. Unless she's the Jester...although I don't know what role that is..._'

The heiress thought carefully.

...

Day Phase 5

Today, Cardin was missing. Nobody else had been taken.

"Cardin was found dead last night." Ren enunciated serenely. "He was found shot multiple times by gun turrets.

He was killed by the Arms Dealer in an attempt to visit him.

Cardin was the Serial Killer.

Weiss was also saved from a murder attempt by the Mafia, courtesy of the good doctor."  
Weiss stared at Blake, who had a tiny smirk on her face. _'So...that Investigator claim was a gambit to get the Serial Killer to visit her..._

_...but then...Yang's the Jester. So what's she doing then? And why was I targeted? Do they know what my role is?_'

Yang pointed her finger at Jaune. "Him! He's the Godfather! Kill him!"

"Me?" Jaune shook his head hurriedly. "What are you doing? You don't know what role I am!"

"Liar. I'm the Investigator!" Yang stuck her tongue out. "And I say you're lying!"

"I don't like this fake-claim." Ruby tilted her head. "I say we vote Yang out!"

"H-huh?!" The brawler tilted her head. "R-Rubes?!"

Sir Lyserg fixed his monocle. "Indeed. She seems highly unlikely to be the Investigator.

A vote for Miss Xiao Long, Sir Lie."

"...I don't like this. I abstain." Weiss chimed in. Blake followed suit.

Jaune looked between everyone, as did Yatsuhashi.

Jaune voted for Blake. "She already claimed to be the Investigator. I think she's guilty."

"I abstain. Like Weiss said, we have no proof." Yatsuhashi calmly stated.

"No votes today. " Ren sighed, shrugging. "Very well, onwards to the next night!"

...

Night Phase 6

'_From what I know, Blake's the Arms Dealer, Yang's the Jester and trying to get herself killed._' Weiss muttered, thinking. _'But then_-'

"Weiss, you are imprisoned by the Jailor." Ren announced. Weiss frowned.

"Seriously?"  
"Therefore, tonight, you are unable to investigate."

'_Dammit! Who jailed me_?'

...

Day Phase 6

This time, Blake was gone, leaving Yatsuashi, Yang, Weiss, Sir Lyserg and Ruby, as well as Jaune.

"Blake was found dead last night, shot with her own guns." Ren announced. "She was shot by the Mafia.

She was the Arms Dealer."

Yatsuhashi and Jaune both shared a look, before nodding.

"We both vote Sir Lyserg." The knight called out.

"We believe he's part of the Mafia." Yatsuhashi claimed.

Sir Lyserg looked incredulous. "I beg your pardon?"  
"...eh. What the heck." Weiss shrugged. "I vote for Lyserg too."

The monocle-wearing Utahraptor frowned- well, as close to it as a dinosaur with almost no recognisable facial expressions could.

"...even you suspected me, Miss Schnee."  
Ren shrugged. "Sorry, stuff happens.

Sir Lyserg was exploded by a sudden burst gas main. He was the Mafia Cop, a Mafia-aligned Investigator."

Weiss looked around at who remained as the dinosaur walked out of the room, dejected.

Yang, who was the Jester- she didn't know what that was still.

Yatsuhashi and Jaune, who were likely innocents. One of them was the Jailor, she'd deduced.

Ruby, who was the only other person, and most likely the Godfather.

'_...this all seems ridiculously hush-hush..._' Weiss contemplated. '_I guess...whoever dies tomorrow night, we'll be figuring this out soon enough._'

...

Night Phase 7

Weiss declined to investigate. She'd concluded there was really no point.

Day Phase 7

This time, Jaune was missing, as Ren sighed, shaking his head.

"Jaune was found dead last night. He was, erm, exploded by the Mafia." Ren declared. "He was the Jailor.

Today, you must lynch one person or you all lose, regardless of win conditions, so choose wisely!"

'_Jaune was innocent...and Yang's not the Mafia. Two innocents, a neutral party, and the Godfather._

_We have to win this today, or I will _lose_ yet another game..._'

Weiss looked between her options.

"I...will vote...on...Ruby!" Weiss declared, causing the reaper to stare at her in shock.

"W-Weiss?!"  
"...I trust Weiss." Yatsuhashi nodded. "Voting her out."

"...very well, Ruby was killed by a firing squad!" The gunslinger concluded. "Ruby was the Godfather, and with that, all the Mafia have been eliminated, letting all surviving townies win.

Weiss and Yatsuhashi have won. Weiss was the Investigator, Yatsuhashi was the Doctor, and Yang was the Lyncher-turned-Jester."

"I wanted Sun dead!" The brawler stated cheerily. "And my role shows up as insane, too, so nobody ever suspected me!"

"And you getting yourself killed?"

"Jesters win when lynched and can kill any one person if dead." Yang explained, frowning.

"But...it seems I lost..."  
"You...lost?" Weiss raised her eyebrow. "And I...won?"  
"...oh dear god, _No._" Yang shuddered, finally realising what Weiss was smirking at her for.

"I...I BEAT YOU AT A GAME, YANG! I WIN! I _WIN_! HAHAHAH!" The heiress declared, almost prancing about the room, cheering happily and smugly.

"PRAISE ME! AHAHAHAHA!"

Ruby stared at her, almost drooling.  
"So...huggable..."

Yang collapsed to her knees. "What has this world _become_, where I am no longer the sexiest girl alive and Weiss actually _won_ a game of something_?!"_

Weiss danced in victory around her, knowing for the first time since Civilization, she'd legitimately beaten Yang in a game.

It felt _good_.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woop.**

**Next chapter- and you fellow Persona fans might like this- the Beacon Spring Beauty Pageant! AHAHAHAHAH**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	54. Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, I'd like to announce the beginning of a new Reactsverse fic, ****Homura Reacts****, featuring, of course, Homura Akemi from ****Puella Magi Madoka Magica****, with a similar premise to this fic. As it is my fic, I am obligated to shamelessly self-promote and shill this fic in the hope that someone might actually care about it.**

**Secondly, however, for those of you waiting for a beauty contest in the vein of Persona 4...this is it.**

**Weiss is going to love this~**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would have a mechanical horse to ride to the aid of his harem with.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss stared at the leaflet that had been slipped underneath their dorm door. She grumbled.

"Oh, _perfect_."  
"Huh?" Yang looked up. "What's up?"  
"...just look at it." The heiress shoved the leaflet into the brawler's hands, grumbling. "This is a _stupid_ idea."  
Blake and Ruby looked at it, curious.

"The...First Beacon Annual Beauty Pageant?" Blake raised an eyebrow, curious. "Whose idea is this?"

"Probably Cinder's." Ruby commented after a few seconds of thought. "It seems right up her alley."  
"And it is an utterly _perverted _idea." Weiss remarked, irritated. "Seriously, we do not need to have a competition based on our attractiveness! Only perverts would enjoy such a s-stupid competition!"

Yang grinned. "What, insecure?"  
"She wouldn't need to be." Blake pointed out. "According to the last survey, the five most attractive people in Beacon were Winter, Weiss, Jaune, Pyrrha and Yang."

"Wait, I was _last_?!" Yang yelled. Weiss crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry, since when was I involved in such ridiculous surveys?!"

"It was Cardin's homework for Professor Torchwick's Economics class." Ruby pointed out. "We had to do a survey on things. Remember?"

Weiss nodded, finally remembering the assignment. "Right...it's still a _stupid_ idea."  
Ruby giggled, nuzzling Weiss. "Nobody can resist her tsundere charms~"  
"R-Ruby! S-stop!" The heiress blushed profusely, looking away in embarrassment. "...y-you sound like a d-deviant..."

"I can't help it! I have to show my cute girlfriend off!" Ruby whined, smiling goofily.

"I say we get into this competition." Yang declared, determined. Weiss was snapped out of her fugue, glaring at her.

"You can't be _serious._"  
"We're doing it." Yang declared proudly, cracking her knuckles. "And we are doing it so awesomely, nobody will _ever_ question team RWBY being the sexiest team in all of Beacon!"

"...good Dust, please don't tell me this is about Winter." Weiss inquired in vain hope that it was indeed not about her sister.

Yang looked at her with fire in her eyes and a somewhat deranged expression on her face.

"N-no, why would you think it's about Winter? I-I'm not trying to prove I'm the sexiest person here, o-or anything! No, don't be silly!"

The brawler laughed insanely to herself as she walked off to the cabinet, chuckling as she picked several pairs of clothing out from it.

"...reclaim the sexy...heahahahha...reclaiming the sexy...of course...this is it...hahehahehah..."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "We're doomed, and it's all because Yang can't take being one-upped by my sister."

Ruby examined the leaflet again. "...wait. It's not just for girls?"

"Nope." Blake nodded, chuckling. "And that's where it gets fun, especially during the swimsuit portion."  
"S-swimsuit portion?!" Ruby's eyes widened. "D-does that mean-"  
"Yes, Weiss will be in a swimsuit."  
"I REFUSE TO DO SUCH A DEBASED ACT THAT...Ruby?" Weiss looked over to her left to see that her girlfriend had faded into a drooling state, paralyzed by the thought of Weiss in a bikini.

"RUBY!"

"...gah...Weiss...you look so cute blushing..." Ruby muttered, squishing her own cheeks with her hands in a moe-induced haze.

* * *

_Meanwhile, over in JNPR dorm..._

"Oh _no_." Jaune sighed exasperatedly at the Beacon Pageant leaflet. "I'm _screwed_."

Ren nodded in agreement, patting his teammate on the back. "...you may want to lay low for a while. This pageant will-"  
"This is the best idea _ever_!" Nora pumped her fists, cheering. "I finally get to break out my Viking clothes!"  
Ren sighed, shaking his head. "I don't think they'll ask you to wear those things."

"They _always_ have a fancy dress part!" Nora corrected him, squeeing happily. "This is going to be _amazing_!"

Jaune shook his head. "...I just know this is _not_ going to end well for me."

Ren chuckled. "You never know, you might enjoy it-"

Pyrrha burst in, panting and breathing heavily. She held up the brochure.

"Did you three know about this?"  
The gunslinger shook his head. "Not at all."  
"We're joining this."  
"No-"  
"The winner's team gets free food from the cafeteria for a week." The spearmaiden explained.

Nora saluted immediately, even doing a tiny goosestep to accompany her salute. "Private Valkyrie reporting for pageant duty sir!"

Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Free cafeteria food? Well...I suppose...I suppose that's a good idea. Prices have been going up a fair bit.

Fine, I'll bite...b-but only for the team." The knight clarified. "I don't want you people thinking I'm into this. I really _don't_ want more attention than I have already!"

Ren shrugged. "Don't worry, we'll be rooting for you behind the lines-"  
"Oh, _no_, you're going with me." Jaune glared at him. "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, Ren.

If this prize is for the team, then the effort has to COME from the team, no?"

Nora grinned, cracking her knuckles. "Challenge accepted!" Ren swallowed slightly, nodding.

"Very well then." He adjusted his collar. "As you wish, Jaune."

Pyrrha looked away, sighing happily.

'_And now...Jaune-kun might even have to crossdress, or take his...shirt...off!_' The spearmaiden resisted the urge to squeal in barely-concealed joy. _'...b-but I must retain my composure. I remember my promises, I have to keep myself calm and figure out how to match Winter and Minako in looks. Yes, of course, they'll be in this too..._

_...I'll just have to beat them. I'll have to beat them in a legitimate manner, too.'_

* * *

_Later, in the Beacon cafeteria…._

Winter calmly partook of a cup of the finest Atlesian tea. It was good tea, ground from well-tended herbs, possessing a strong scent and character, and grown only in the arable highlands; exported for exorbitant amounts, of course, but hardly even a drop in the wealth of the Schnee family.

The main reason Winter loved tea, however, was that it soothed her, allowed her to take a step back from the stress of everything and just enjoy life.

Her tranquil day, however, was suddenly interrupted by a voice behind her.

"W-Winter-sempai, will you j-join the pageant?"  
"Hm?" The lady turned behind her to see a somewhat sweaty, blushing first year boy, swallowing and clearly captivated by her looks.

"I-I...I a-asked if you were…..going to d-do the pageant."

Winter tapped her chin, tilting her head. "...I hadn't heard. What's this pageant?"

"THERE YOU ARE." Yang kicked her way into the canteen- with Weiss and Ruby trying futilely to pull her back, the doors swinging open with a loud crack. Everyone looked up towards her, as she breathed heavily, staring down at Winter.

"YOU"

"Me?" Winter raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Yang-"  
"I am GOING to beat you, Winter!" The brawler declared, staring down at her rival with determination in her eyes. "I _will_ reclaim the sexy and become the sexiest student in Beacon again!

And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

Weiss rolled her eyes, exhaling irritably. "You're _still_ going on about this?!"

"...the sexy?" Winter scratched her head. "...what's the sexy? Is it a prize of some sort?"  
"D-don't play stupid with me, Schnee! You know what you're doing to these people!" Yang pointed a trembling finger at her, breathing heavily.

Winter looked confused. "I do not understand."  
She was completely oblivious to the seething mass of fawning boys and girls behind her, sighing happily as they watched her voluptuous figure dreamily.

Yang felt a vein twitch in her temple.

"...y-you're….you're sneakier than I thought!" The brawler crossed her arms. "Mark my words, Schnee, I WILL beat you! I AM THE SEXIEST! WAHAHAH-oooowwww Weiss!"

Weiss rubbed the palm of her hand, having administered a slap to the back of her teammate's head. "Moron. Get out of here before you make yourself look more like a drooling pervert than you already are. Come on, Ruby, let's get her out of here."

"Okay!"  
"W-wha-let go of me! Hey! I wasn't done! I was going to give a whole speech and _everything_!" Yang whined as her teammates dragged her out of the canteen, leaving Winter somewhat bewildered.

"...I wonder what that was all about." The lady frowned, shrugging. "Well, anyway-"  
"So, will you do the pageant? The winner's team gets free cafeteria food!"

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Well. Money is no issue for me at all, but….my team might like the boon.

Sure. It sounds like fun! …..huh?"

She looked behind her to see a horde of fainted admirers, some with severe nosebleeds and blushes on their faces.

"...it seems we will need medical assistance here. I wonder why so many people fainted? Is there a bug going around?"

* * *

"Dammit!" Yang grumbled, looking irritated as she walked back to the dorm, pulling her arms away from Weiss and Ruby. "Weiss, your sister is _devious_! She seems so innocent, but she's just _waiting_! WAITING!"

Weiss gave her a deadpan look. "Have you considered that my sister is simply, you know, _completely oblivious_ to her own looks?"  
"N-nobody that sexy is blind to their own looks!" Yang cried in a deranged manner, shaking her head. "I don't- no, I _refuse_ to believe she's blind to her own looks! She's only pretending to be so even _more_ people fall for her! It makes perfect sense!

It's not _right_! I've watched too many anime to fall for that ploy! I'm going to beat your sister and show everyone that-"  
Ruby frowned. "Awww...but Winter seems so nice! Don't humiliate her..."  
"Yang, you're being completely irrational about this." Weiss scolded her teammate. "I refuse to believe that my sister is somehow a manipulative schemer who uses her looks to get everyone to love her!

Believe me when I say this, the girl is so oblivious, she can't even tell when _she_'s in love with someone!"

Weiss grabbed Yang's shoulders and began shaking her.

"YANG YOU ARE COMPLETELY MAD DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF TALKING"  
"She's just jealous because Winter has a bigger chest than her." Ruby called out.

"I-I am not!" Yang crossed her arms, blushing somewhat. "I-It's just...I-It's improbable that someone so _hot_ and _oblivious_ isn't manipulating everyone! Or Jaune."

Weiss sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and glaring at Yang. "You moron. You are an absolute _moron._

Is this some kind of game to you? Seriously? You can't handle that someone is more attractive than you?"  
Yang pumped her fist, clenching it tightly. "No, just like nobody will be manlier than Blake, nobody will be sexier than me!

I WILL RECLAIM THE SEXY!"

With that, the brawler sprinted off into the distance, roaring to herself. Weiss exhaled.

"Good Dust. Ruby, is she always like this?"  
"Mhm..." Ruby patted her on the back. "Don't worry, she'll get over it eventually.

So...when Winter beats her in the pageant."  
"...please wake me up when this is over, I'm going to go figure out how to go into hibernation." Weiss shook her head and walked off. "If you excuse me, I'm going to wallow in vanilla sorbet for getting myself involved in these stupid shenanigans..."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Right, Jaune." Ren dished out several files to Jaune upon the table in their dorm. "The contest will consist of four portions."  
"Four?!" The blond stared at him in shock. "Y-you're serious?!"  
"Four." Ren nodded. "I know, I was on the planning council with Cinder when she scored it out.

The first is the normal portion, the second is the talent, the third is the swimsuit and the final portion...my personal favourite...is crossdressing."  
"CROSSDRESSING?!" Jaune stared at him, his mouth open in horror.

Ren shrugged. "Cinder loves her crossdressing."  
"...oh good Dust help me, I'm going to die on that stage." The knight placed his face in his hands, shaking his head. "I'm going to die..."  
"Hey, you dragged me into this too." Ren glared at him. "_I_ have to crossdress too."  
"Yeah, but you aren't going to get mobbed by fangirls!"

"True point." The gunslinger shrugged. "That's why we're going to give you a choice of clothes that are less revealing and won't draw too much attention.

We had Cardin work on them for you. We gave him your measurements; sorry 'bout that."

Nora laid out several sets of clothing on the desk for him. Jaune looked through them, rubbing his chin.

The first set was a fairly regular black bespoke tuxedo- made of fairly good fabric, replete with fine leather shoes and a thin red handkerchief. Jaune felt he could wear that comfortably. He briefly pondered on the expense Cardin took on making these things for him, and just how much getting all of these cost, and how long it took him to make them.

The second was a pair of swimming shorts, still made of good fabrics, plain navy blue and gold. Jaune silently thanked Cardin; most of his other swimclothes were...revealing enough to ensure he would be mobbed on the stage by lustful admirers.

The third...the third, however, caused him to blanch. He stared at it as he clutched it in his hands, remembering the last time he'd worn something similar.

"No. I'm not wearing this, Ren. Tell Cardin thanks, but I _can't_. It looks way too-"  
"This is the least revealing set he could make without making you look too homely. We're trying to win this, your protection is a secondary concern- and these clothes are plenty tough! You've gotten out of worse anyway!"  
"B-but _this_...you seriously think..."  
"Trust me on this, Jaune. You just need to work on your talent.

I know you're a good dancer, so go with that." Ren patted him on the shoulder as he walked off, leaving Jaune to stare at the crossdressing clothing he'd been left to wear.

"...b-but..."

He, of course, was completely oblivious to the fainted Pyrrha in the closet, who had lost consciousness from the idea of Jaune in a swimsuit.

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Tomorrow will be the epic pageant itself, replete with insanity and madness and revelations and jelly Yang!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	55. Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today'll be the day of the madness and fanservice and the obsessed Yang trying to beat Winter in a sexy competition. Which'll never happen, but anyway, let's see her try. Wahahaha. Hahaha! Ahem. Yang's suffering is delicious. Well, everyone's suffering is delicious. That's why I write comedy! :D**

**Also, the fanservice goes up 500% this chapter! Yay!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be two hundred times more fanservice in the series (not that Pyrrha and Yang don't already give enough).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Day of the Beauty Pageant..._

Yang smiled, as the rest of her team held up their clothes for the various segments. "I spent about five hundred or so Lien grabbing these clothes for you guys yesterday."

"Explains where you were half of yesterday." Weiss examined the first piece of clothing. "And what's _this_ supposed to be?"

"_That_ is an exact replica of Azusa's uniform from K-On." Yang smiled, lifting the navy-blue fabric of the blazer.

Blake glared at her. "You are _not_ going to make me participate in this competition with Weiss dressed in _that_ abomination!"

Yang sidled up to her partner's face, smiling sinisterly. "You _will_, Blakey. I want to _win_ this competition. I want to _win_.

And you know what? If that means making you cosy up to your worst enemies, then I _will_."

Blake shuddered, shrinking down in fear and trying not to meet Yang's insane eyes. "Y-yes, ma'am."

"...huh?" Ruby examined the penguin suit she'd been given. "Why is mine different?"

"You see, Rubes, people don't find you sexy." Yang pointed out bluntly but honestly. "They find you _adorable_. So, we're going to play to your strengths!"

Weiss stared at her in shock. "And people find this Azusa person _hot_?!"

"No, people just want to see you in a typical schoolgirl uniform." The brawler sighed, shaking her head. "We have to pander to the fans, Weiss. It's the only way we'll win this contest."  
"By debasing ourselves to such perverted levels? I think I might rather run myself through with Myrtenaster."

Blake nodded, holding up her clothing. "Well...that might explain _mine_ then, I suppose."

Weiss and Ruby blushed, with the heiress glaring at Yang.

"That is _not_ clothing, that is an _abomination_ worthy of the fires of Hell!"  
"People find the whole cat girl thing hot!" Yang protested. "It makes sense that Blake gets the hottest uniform, no?"  
"Yes, but...this barely qualifies as _clothing_, Yang." The catgirl complained.

Yang grinned mischievously, lifting her own pair up. "Oh, don't worry. You're not alone, Blakey~ Besides, I _really_ want to see what you look like in leather~"  
The catgirl blushed profusely, looking away. "Q-quit talking like some pervert, Y-Yang..."

Weiss facepalmed. "Does your perversion know no _end_?!"

"If it makes us beat Winter, then no, it doesn't!"

Ruby patted her girlfriend on the back comfortingly. "Don't worry, Weiss, it'll be over after today, and you don't have to think about it later."

"Something tells me this pageant is going to haunt me until the day I die..." The heiress muttered darkly, looking aside irritably.

Yang, meanwhile, laughed maniacally, rubbing her hands together as she looked over her team carefully.

'_Yes...with the combined forces of Moe and Sexy, not even Winter Schnee will be able to stand against Team RWBY!_

_Oh, Yang, you're a genius! A hot, badass genius!_'

"And to think this stupid competition has a _swimsuit_ portion..." Weiss muttered under her breath. "...I swear, it's like sad perverts come up with this kind-oh wait, they _did_!

I wonder how Cinder somehow managed to get _hired_ with that attitude..."

Ruby frowned, looking somewhat worried. "...you didn't buy us swimsuits, did you?"

Yang grinned at her. Ruby's spirits sank and she blanched as she realised the implications.

"Oh Dust, _Yang..._"

"...just make sure you're good for the talent portion, yeah?" The brawler winked. "We're all clear for our talents?"

Blake cracked her knuckles. "Damn straight I am. Just...tell me we're not doing that portion in _that_."

"...sadly, you don't get the chance to change clothes until the swimsuit segments." Yang sighed dramatically, in a manner which induced Blake to believe this was completely her plan to begin with.

"Oh...you sneaky, _sneaky_ prankster..."  
"I don't know what you're talking about~" The brawler looked away innocently, whistling.

Weiss shook her head.

"Did you _seriously_ not expect that? Even when she's obsessed with winning, she STILL does stupid perverted things like this!"  
"...t-these things look so indecent..." The catgirl muttered, blushing profusely. "I-I..."

"I knew you'd love it, Blakey!" The brawler cheered happily.

Weiss looked aside. "She's so obsessed, she's even deluding herself more than usual..."

_Meanwhile, in the JNPR dorm..._

Jaune stood in front of the mirror, sighing. He breathed in, examining himself and adjusting his collar.

The knight was in his bespoke tuxedo, jet black jacket and sharp white shirt striking a slender figure, despite everything else. His red handkerchief was tucked into his chest pocket, and on his left wrist was a golden watch to match his refined attire.

With the exception of his ruffled hair, he looked the very exemplar of gentlemanly.

Ren, who was wearing a green traditional shirt with gold lining and black trousers, clapped. "Nicely done. You really pulled off the refined gentleman look."  
"...I'm still not sure about this." Jaune frowned, adjusting his shirt slightly.

Nora popped out of the bathroom, clad in full Viking gear- silver winged helmet and false golden locks that looked completely different from her crimson hair, authentic hauberk and russet tunic, complete with a wooden spear.

"I hope you guys are ready! Because I AM!" The valkyrie- for once, actually _resembling_ a valkyrie-pumped her fist enthusiastically. "And the world will be exposed to my yodelling skills!"  
"...yeah. I think they've gotten enough of your yodelling..." Ren commented with a chuckle. Nora tilted her head, curious.

"What shou-oh, oh! I'll tap dance! That's it! It never goes wrong! Thanks, Renny~"

"...err...you're welcome, Nora?" Ren nodded slowly, looking somewhat confused. "I...don't know how it turned from yodelling to tap dancing, but..."

"Hey, guys, where's Pyrrha?" Jaune looked around. "I haven't seen her in a while."

"She said she'd meet us at the stage." Nora explained, tapping her chin. "I'm wondering why she won't-oh, maybe she's got a secret ready! She might have a secret plan! Like dressing like a sloth!

And she doesn't want us to steal her ideas! Clever Pyrrha, but not clever...because, as we all know, I'm now onto her plans!" Nora declared proudly, puffing her chest out proudly.

Ren rubbed the back of his head. "Not sure that's why she's not with us right now."  
Nora pouted, her pride deflated. "But Reeeeen~! It makes so much seeeense!"

Jaune checked his watch. "I guess we'd better get going then. Pageant's in about twenty minutes."  
Ren strolled over to the side of his bed and grabbed the bag of clothing the team had for the various sections of the pageant.

"Yep. Let's get going then, eh?"

"...please, whatever god is up there, make this all end quick..." Jaune muttered, before breathing in and walking out first.

* * *

_Beacon Assembly Hall_

The hall itself was packed to full, with the audience packed full of students and some parents who could spare the time to visit. The stage itself was set with banners embossed with the Beacon logo and the word 'Pageant' sewn onto the banner in golden thread.

Sitting in pride of place at the judge's panel were Cinder- of whom this entire venture was the brain child of- Glynda, and a somewhat disinterested Gretchen Faust. Faust was a last-minute replacement for their plan of a celebrity judge in the form of Risette or Chieri Sono, neither of which were available. They even attempted to beg Tohru onto the panel, but owing to a mess Cinder had left in the staff room with burrito wrappers, she declined politely while trying to dig Professor Oobleck out of the wrappers.

In the end, Faust was their only recourse, much to Glynda's irritation.

Glynda rolled her eyes. "I still can't believe you managed to get _me_ into your madness..."

Cinder was reading a tablet, rolling her eyes. "We need a new crowd draw to pander to the fans.

Apparently we're being beaten out in weekly views by a straight-laced crossdresser with love issues and a time-travelling stalker with a loli fetish."

"What are you even talking about?" The blonde instructor stared at her, adjusting her glasses.

"The metaphysical nature of the narrative we currently reside." Faust uttered, adjusting her own thick-rimmed glasses while reading a spellbook. "Either that or she's talking about the pageant itself."

"I'm surprised Honda put up with her babbling for as long as she did." Glynda muttered, speaking about Cinder's former teaching assistant. "...I'm surprised _I_ did.

Seriously, where did you even _get_ the idea for a pageant like this?!"

"Are you kidding me?" Cinder chuckled, holding up her phone, where a Dustbook page was present, with someone by the name of 'Kashiwagi' had sent her pictures of what looked like a grey haired male student of some school, dressed in a female uniform.

"This is all the rage in schools nowadays!"

"...how is this..." Glynda sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You know, I don't understand how you managed to get entrusted with a class of students trained to fight monsters."

"...well, my training helped them beat Siegmund Schnee up, you can't doubt my methods." Cinder pointed out helpfully.

"I do not doubt that. I doubt your _sanity."_

"Just jealous because I'm crazy awesome and all the fans think I'm sexy. It's cool~"

Glynda's eyes narrowed. "I swear, you and Miss Xiao Long are far too similar for your own good..."

_Meanwhile, behind the curtain..._

Nora pouted. "Dammit! I hoped Risette would show up! Oh well..."

"Good grief, that's a _huge_ crowd..." Jaune sighed as he looked away from the curtain, looking around for Pyrrha. "I wonder where she is-"  
"H-hi, Jaune."

The knight turned around to see the spearmaiden. His cheeks immediately rouged, as he stared at her with an open mouth and blinking eyes.

"P-Pyrrha?"

Pyrrha was standing in front of him, rubbing her left arm with her right shyly. She had, in place of her normal uniform or light armour, a skintight black spy suit, accentuating her body and making it clear that her figure was a perfect mix between lean, firm muscle and soft curves at her waist and chest, and her hips were brought out by the fake utility belt slung onto them, replete with fake gun- actually Minako's Evoker, given that she was the only person who owned anything that looked like a real gun- and repurposed Beacon alumnus brooch- a gift from her mother.

Her cheeks, of course, were as red as her hair at showing off this much to Jaune.

"D-do...d-do you like it?"

"...u-uh..." Jaune stuttered. "Y-you..."

"Huh, you love it, right?" Minako appeared next to her, clad in an equally form-fitting maid outfit, complete with tiara and apron, with black stockings in place of her normal white socks. "These costumes were my idea.

You like what you see, Jaune~?"

Nora, meanwhile, was staring at Pyrrha, some drool beginning to drip from her mouth. Ren poked her arm.

"Nora?"

"...hehe..." The berserker continued staring at her teammate's figure. "Heh..."

"I...um..." Jaune, of course, was overwhelmed by two _very_ attractive girls, for all intents and purposes, showing themselves off for him.

Then his rational side kicked in and his genre savvy instincts said otherwise.

"...Pyrrha, Minako, what are you two doing?"  
Minako grinned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I-I just wanted to wear this for the contest. H-honest..."

Ren scoffed. "Then why keep it a secret from Jaune? We're all a team, we don't keep secrets from each other.

Unless you were planning to _impress _him with that."

Minako looked aside, cursing quietly to herself, confirming Jaune and Ren's suspicions.

Jaune sighed, smiling bemusedly. "Well, you do look nice in that, Pyrrha."

"Y-you think so?" Pyrrha looked up hopefully.

"If Nora's staring at you like a plate of syrup-soaked pancakes, I should hope so." Weiss walked over, drily remarking as she brushed off her uniform.

It was a navy-blue blazer on top of a white shirt and short blue skirt, covering her stocking-clad legs and accentuated by the blue neck ribbon. She grumbled, looking up at the staring Jaune.

"W-what are you looking at, y-you idiot?! D-don't have any perverted fantasies, o-or anything."  
"You look _great_!" Jaune complimented her.

Weiss crossed her arms. "I-idiot...I-I didn't come here to get complimented! I-I don't care, anyway..."

"But you doooooo~" Ruby, in a round penguin costume, hugged Weiss tightly, squealing in joy.

"N-not you too! W-why am I surrounded with perverts?!"

Yang strolled over, and everyone started staring at her.

"...oh _wow_." Ren whistled. "You're dressed as _Yoko_."

Indeed, the brawler was indeed dressed as the infamous scantily-clad sniper, with flame-patterned bikini and fleshtone stockings and boots, leaving almost none of her considerably curvy body to the imagination. Yang winked mischievously.

"Blake's too ashamed to show off hers. By the way, Ren, Jaune, you two look _handsome_. "

"...did you steal that from my mom's dresser?" Jaune stared at her.

"...actually-" Yang twiddled her fingers, chuckling.

Weiss exhaled loudly and exasperatedly. "Are you _serious_?! Professor Arc is going to _kill_ you."  
"I asked first! With a note on her bedside table!" The brawler protested.

Cinder poked her head into the curtain. "Hey, guys. Nice outfits. Break a leg and get ready, the pageant's starting soon!"

Yang looked at her. "Seriously?"  
"Yes."

She rubbed her hands together. "At last! My time of returning to my rightful spot comes!"

Ren raised an eyebrow. "Rightful spot? We've been through this, Yang, Weiss won the war."  
"...don't get me involved in your stupid antic nonsense! I wasn't even a combatant in your stupid antic war!"

"Pfft. Of course not. It's about the fact that Winter is somehow _sexier_ than me!" Yang whined childishly. "D-dammit, I've been Ms. Fanservice in this fic since day one and _she_ gets the fan club?"

"Everyone in this school who looks vaguely attractive has a fanclub." Ren reminded her. "Seriously, I expect at _least_ the Pyrrha Nikos Lover Lodge, the Weiss Schnee Appreciation Society, the Winter Schnee Appreciation Club _and_ the Jaune Arc Admirer Clan to show up.

And don't get me started on the Sun Wukong Take-Your-Shirt-Off Club. I'm pretty sure even Ruby and that Gunther girl have fanclubs..."

Jaune felt a sweatdrop roll down his temple. "Good grief..."

"The more the merrier!" Cinder reminded them cheerily. "Now, take your places and get ready!"

* * *

_Minutes later_...

Cinder resumed her place on the judge panel as the pageant started, and the distant chatter fell away, giving way to silence.

Roman Torchwick took his place on the front of the stage, clearing his throat into the microphone to get everyone's attention.

"Is this stupid thing on?" The rogue remarked, shifting his bowler hat somewhat. "Anyway.

Welcome, ladies, gents...Cinder..."

Cinder glared at him from the judges' panel. Roman merely chuckled at his own joke.

"...welcome to the First Annual Beacon Beauty Pageant. This year, we'll get to see our students display excellence in a number of-" Roman's temple twitched as his eyes pored over the script in his hand.

"Who wrote this crap?!"

Cinder glared at him again.

"...meh." He discarded it, earning a chuckle from the audience. "Most of you are students, you're all probably here to see your respective crushes dressed fancily or otherwise and then vote on who looks prettiest or handsomest so their team can win free food for a week, and the judges will be your tiebreaker if there happens to be one."

Roman sighed wistfully at the thought of free food. "Man, how much I'd _give_ to have that for myself, being an Economics professor at a _combat academy_ pays absolutely _nothing_...

Anyway, have fun, good luck to our contestants and all that babble. With that, I give you the first portion, the dress competition."  
The audience exploded into applause and cheering.

"I don't get paid enough for this..." Roman muttered as he strolled off the stage, taking his place at a podium behind the stage to act as the emcee.

"Alright, first up, the one most of you came to see...Winter Schnee!"

Winter did indeed walk onto the stage...and she was dressed in a relatively modest light blue frilly dress with a parasol.

Yang laughed. "Is that it? That all she has? That's not going to-"

Squeals of pleasure rang out from the crowd, followed by loud thuds as Winter's admirers fainted from the sexiness.

The brawler's eyelid twitched. "...what."

"The less you show, the more you leave to the imagination." Ren reminded her. "Sometimes, less really is more."

Yang stared at Winter, who was simply calmly smiling, completely oblivious to her appeal to everyone.

"Grr..." The brawler clenched her fist. "...I'll be sexier than her!"

Winter smiled at the audience, twirling her parasol casually, as if she had no idea where she was or what her audience was doing- although the latter was a fair assumption, given that it was Winter.

"Thank you all for your patronage." With that, she walked off, squeeing following her every step.

"Next up, Blake Belladonna!"

"...at least Blake will beat her!" Yang declared. "I _know_ my Blakey will!"

"Somehow, I doubt that." Weiss muttered quietly. "...somehow."

"U-Um..." Blake stumbled onto stage, stuttering and crossing her arms over her chest. "...I...err..."

Ren's eyes widened. "Good Dust. You turned the manliness maniac into a stuttering mess. I'm impressed and a little squicked out."

Yang grinned. "Exactly according to plan."

Very simply, Blake's attire consisted of belts and leather armor pieces exposing much of her lithe, fit figure and her skin, complete with a coiled whip around her hip. Somewhat uncharacteristically of her, she was blushing, ashamed by her incredibly indecent clothing.

"...u-um...p-please...s-stop staring..." Blake stuttered. "T-this is...embarrassing..."

"She's going to _love_ the swimsuit portion." Yang chuckled, grinning. "...ohohoho..."  
"I-I'm going to g-get off now..." Blake shuffled off, trying to hide her exposed body as much as possible.

"Alright." Roman sighed. "Cool yourselves, take cold showers and so on.

Next up, Jaune Arc!"

Jaune sighed, closing his eyes. "Wish me luck."

"...good luck." Ren patted him on the back, as he sighed and walked out onto the stage, shutting his eyes tightly.

'_...I'm screwed._'

"OH MY DUST"  
"JAUUUUUNE-KUN, LOOK AT ME"  
"LOVE MEEEEE"

Suddenly, a group of Jaune admirers, wearing brooches with his face on it and bearing banners with his face on it rushed the stage, squealing his name at the top of their voices. Jaune instinctively reached for Crocea Mors' scabbard to turn it into a shield, only to remember he didn't wear it in this uniform.

"Oh cra-"

"Not on my watch." Faust stood up from her seat before Glynda and Cinder could move, adjusting her glasses and raising her finger. She opened her mouth to speak.

Later, Jaune would recount, he never actually heard what Faust said. All he saw was her mouth moving quite rapidly, speaking in a language that he had never heard before. He should've heard sound, but he did not; almost as if his mind had instinctively phased out what she'd said.

Whatever the case, several circles of vile runes appeared on the ground, creating bars of purple light between the stage and the fans and blowing them back from the stage, preserving Jaune's decency.

The knight looked on in amazement, not understanding fully what had happened.

He'd heard rumours of Faust using magic in lieu of Dust or Semblances, but he'd never seen it really done, not for his own eyes.

He'd seen it today.

Faust adjusted her glasses again and resumed her seat, the crowd placated.

Cinder blinked. "I guess...that'll do?"

"As I expected." The sorceress fixed her collar. "My precautions worked perfectly."

Jaune ran off into the backstage, silently thanking Faust for her skill in magic.

"Aaaaalright. Next up, Weiss Schnee." Roman called out as enthusiastically as he could muster. "Please, ladies and gents, _try_ not to mob the stage this time, okay?"

Jaune's spirits sank as he saw Weiss stomp out. He had realised something.

'_This is only the dress portion._

_I am so screwed when we get to the swimsuit portion._'

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Looks like we may have to get this to a three-parter, much to my surprise. Also, sorry about the late upload; real life hasn't been nice to me of late and I haven't been able to keep up due to wanting to sleep all the time because my days are exhausting as all hell. I'll try my best, though.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	56. Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 3!

**Weiss Reacts to Beauty Pageants, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the exciting- okay, that's a lie, it's not that exciting- conclusion of this arc of Weiss Reacts! Fanservice abounds! Also, madness. Definitely madness. Why do you ask?**

**Because squids.**

**That is all. Let us begin the madness. The MADNESS SHALL BEGIN WAHAHAHAHA**

**Also, I must apologise for the late updates as of late- I've had to deal with a lot of exams and revision stuff. I'll try my best to keep to schedule, but I don't make any promises.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY doesn't belong to me, otherwise Ozpin would be a literal wizard (complete with wizard beard and pointy hat.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"And finally, after Sun Wukong's...rather exhibitionist act..." Roman muttered, watching the shirtless monkey Faunus walk off the stage. "Our final contestant, Vivi...Scarlatina? Eh."

The tiny plushie girl walked out on the stage, wearing nothing but her usual skirt, jacket and a strange tiny scarf.

The audience burst into applause as her devoted fans started clapping and squeeing happily.

Weiss tilted her head. "Is that a piece of Coco's scarf? It looks like Coco's."

"Does it matter?" Yang complained. "I got beaten out in applause by a plushie, my sister in a penguin suit and a fancy girl in a Victorian dress!"

Blake glared at her. "What are _you_ complaining about?! I'm the one who had to walk out there looking like a dominatrix!"

"You didn't mind it!"

"My _stuttering_ and _pleading_ not to wear it _counts_ as not minding?! Are you _deaf_?!"

Ruby hugged them all with her penguin suit, frowning. "Hey, guys, don't start arguing..."

"If anything, the only person who can complain is Jaune!" Weiss snapped, pointing her thumb towards the knight. "He nearly got _mobbed_!"

"_I_ want to get mobbed!" Yang complained.

Weiss grabbed her and shook her by the shoulders, an almost insane look in her eyes.

"_THIS SEXINESS THING IS GOING TOO FAR YOU CRAZY WOMAN DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF GOING TOO FAR OR DO I HAVE TO DRUM IT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL YOU MORONIC DUNCE_"

Blake and Ruby had to wrench Weiss off of the brawler before she would stop shaking her. Yang stumbled around slightly, still reeling from being shaken.

"Gah...my eyes..." Yang put a hand to her head. "Owwww, Weeeeiss..."

The heiress, meanwhile, was all but frothing at the mouth in annoyance.

Meanwhile, Vivi casually strutted back in, her stubby arms raised as if to bask in her glory.

"Pi," the plushie uttered confidently, placing her hands on her hips. "Pii pi."

Ruby snickered. "That's an awfully big boast from an awfully small plushie..."  
"Piipiipii piii." Vivi declared, popping on triangle shades. "Pii pii pii pi pipipi pi!"

Ren sighed. "I can't believe we might get beaten in a beauty contest by a _plushie_."

Nora shrugged, rooting through their collective bag for her tapdancing shoes. "No matter about that! We gotta win this next portion!"

"Wait, shush!" Jaune held up his hand. "Guys, guys, Roman's about to announce the winner!"

"You serious?" Cardin, clad in a sleek black leather jacket and jeans, complete with sunglasses, looked up. "Who won?"

"Alright, ladies and gents." Roman announced over the din of the audience. "The results are in from your votes, and for the first round...

The person in third place is Vivi, the second is Winter, and our winner for this round is, of course, Jaune."

The ensuing squee all but drowned out all other noise in the hall.

Yang frowned. "Dammit! I _did_ get beaten by a plushie!"

Vivi smirked, doing a tiny dance on the floor triumphantly. "Pipipipi."

"Plushie swag." Jaune sighed, chuckling good-naturedly. "How did I think you'd say that?"

Blake sighed in relief, flicking off a stray fleck of dust on her bare shoulder. "Well, at least I can make up for that embarrassment."

Grinning suddenly, she donned her triangle shades and whipped out her Core Drill, before grabbing her Dio-blessed guitar, Fuckslayer.

"I've been _dying_ to take back my manliness since Volume One."

Nora crossed her arms, scoffing. "Heh. It's _my_ turn to be badass! I'll show the world how tapdancing Vikings do it! Long live Clan Valkyrie!"

Yang cracked her knuckles. "Right. Time to prove myself! Let's see about being beaten by a plushie, eh?"

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know whether to root for you or to hope you lose. I'll have to go for the former, as I rather _like_ free food..."

* * *

Roman stood up in front of the audience once more, clutching his mic firmly.

"Alright, ladies and gents, the next portion today- the talent show. Or- and I'm quoting Cinder here- time for everyone to make an absolute fool of themselves." He sighed, glaring at the giggling instructor as if to say "Seriously?" before shaking his head and reading the roster.

"Right, first up...Nora Valkyrie, and her tapdancing routine!"  
Nora jumped and squealed happily, before hugging Ren tightly for luck.

"Wish me luck, Renny! It's time for me to make my debut as the _rightful_ Queen of Sloths and Tapdancing!" Nora declared proudly before walking out onto the stage.

Ren sighed, shaking his head. "She's lucky she's cute...her insanity really makes it hard to deal with her sometimes."

Weiss gave him a dark glare. "You try dealing with _Yang_."

...

Nora finished her tapdancing routine with a small leap in the air, kicking her boots together, her faux-blonde locks swishing in the air under her Viking helmet, before landing and taking a bow towards a shocked audience.

Even her fanclub, the Nora Valkyrie Pancake Breakfast Society, was speechless, although mainly from joy.

"Thank you _all_ for your patronage! Long live the Pancake God!" With that, Nora skipped happily off stage, giggling.

Roman's eyelid twitched as he watched her from his vantage point.

"What in the..." He muttered, before shaking his head and grabbing his microphone. "Alright...that was certainly...a thing.

Next up, Blake Belladonna!"

The catgirl strolled on stage, her guitar slung over her clothing. She breathed in deeply, looking at the microphone supplied to her, and gazing at the audience, who stared at her attire.

That was now irrelevant.

It was her time, at long last. This was it.

'_I've been waiting__** months**__ to take my manliness back._

_Hokuago Tea-Time, eat your heart out._'

She started up her song by slowly building her way up to the first lines by carefully strumming her guitar.

Blake inhaled deeply, a grin growing on her face.

'_Let's go._'

"_Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all? Or if he moves, will he fall?_

Is he live or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We'll just pass him there!

_Why should we even care?_"

The audience absolutely exploded as Blake continued her rendition, a faint aura of green around her from the sheer awesome being emitted, while Yang recognised the song, snapping her fingers.

"Iron Man? Oh...you sneaky, sneaky minx." The brawler applauded. "Excellent job."

"_Nobody wants him!" _Blake belted out loudly. "_He just stares at the world!..._

_...Planning his vengeance...that he will soon unfurl!"_

...

"_Heavy boots of lead, fills his victims full of dread! Running as fast they can!_

_Iron Man lives again!"_ Blake rounded off and began the coda, her aura of Spiral Energy flaring up as she did so, only barely being held in place by the protective charms Professor Faust had placed in, and the song being barely audible over the din of the audience.

Yang stared at her teammate as she finally ended the song with a sweep of her Core Drill over her guitar, before raising her arms and basking in the glory of applause as the audience gave standing ovations and demands for encores.

Blake nodded assuredly. "That's right. I've _still_ got it."

Faust wiped a tear from her eye. "A beautiful story of justice...I rate it a ten."  
"It's about a time traveller who ends up _being the tyrant he travelled back in time to try to avert_." Glynda complained. "How is that beautiful?!"  
"Beautiful? It's _poetic_." The sorceress adjusted her glasses. "Absolutely _poetic_."

After that, barely anyone managed to get a similar response, save Weiss and her equally excellent rendition of _Only My Railgun_, Winter and her piano recreation of _Red Like Roses_ and Jaune's skilled dancing- although whether it was the dancing or the dancer that induced the clapping was vague, much to the knight's dismay.

Even Vivi's juggling of unusually large bottles managed to gain a giggle from the audience, but Yang's futile attempt at a boastful rap managed to silence everyone.

Yang growled as she stepped off stage. "Dammit...how do _you_ guys get so successful?!"  
"Don't try so hard." Blake reminded her. "You just sound like you're desperately trying to impress the audience- which, you are, but that's beyond the point.

You need to sound more natural."

"S-seriously, h-how do I beat _Winter_? S-she sounds like a professional!" The brawler cried. Weiss nodded.

"That's because she all but _is_. She's been doing the piano since she was five, Yang. She's about as good with the piano as she is at stealing your spotlight."

Yang glared at her. "S-shut up about my spotlight!"

"I needed a metaphor and that was convenient." The heiress said with a mischievous grin.

"Somehow, I doubt that."

Ren stretched his arms, taking off his shirt. "Alright, ladies, time for you to scrabble off backstage. It's swimsuit time."

Weiss looked down, ashamed. "Oh, just _kill me now_ please."

Blake sighed in relief, looking down at her dominatrix outfit. "Thank _Dust_! I can take this damn thing off! My swimsuit is _less_ revealing than this!"  
Yang chuckled. "I don't know, Blake. You look _hot_ like that-ow!"

She rubbed her arm after an embarrassed Blake punched her.

"D-don't say it like that!"  
"But it's true, Blakey~ I never _knew_ your bust was so bi-"

This time, she was interrupted by a pillow being smashed into her face by Weiss, a furious expression on the latter's face.

"PERVERT!"  
Blake merely hugged her arms to her chest and sprinted off, blushing.

"G-gah!"

Ren shook his head. "Looks like I might be collecting on the Bumblebee Shipping pool a bit sooner than expected."

Pyrrha held her hand up. "Shush! They're going to tell us the winner of that round!"

Roman stepped out in front, reading out from his tablet the result of the audience vote.

"Well...it was a close thing. But, of course, in third place, we have Pyrrha's love poetry-"  
"I'm guessing that was about Jaune?" Ruby inquired, to which the spearmaiden responded by twiddling her fingers and blushing.

"...p-possibly.."

Jaune's cheeks rouged. "P-Pyrrha!"

"...I-I can't lie, Jaune-kun..." Pyrrha admitted meekly.

"In second, we have...err, Winter's piano version of _Red Like Roses_, and in first, surprisingly, Blake stealing the show with her cover of _Iron Man_!"

Nora stomped the ground indignantly. "Dammit! How didn't _I_ win for tapdancing?! D-don't these people appreciate tapdancing? It is the most _holiest_ of arts, along with pancake making and sloth calling!

A-amateurs..." Nora sniffled sadly.

Ruby pumped her fist. "One step closer to winning that prize!"  
"Heh." Ren scoffed. "I promise you, with Pyrrha and Jaune on our team, we've _got_ the swimsuit portion."

* * *

"Alrighty, the swimsuit portion!" Roman called out, looking over at the suddenly drooling, more attentive audience. "Oh, get off it, you perverts.

Just for that, the first contestant out is Vivi."

Vivi did indeed stroll out, in a one-piece blue swimsuit with a tiny shark floatation ring around her round waist, strutting confidently onto the stage.

"Pi~"

"AAAHAHHH!"

"SO CUTE"  
"WHY DOES SHE HAVE THAAAT MY NUTBLADDER"

Elsewhere in the audience, the Vivi Glomping Society had a small scuffle with the Weiss Schnee Appreciation Society over the perceived cuteness of the objects of their appreciation. This was quickly broken up by a glare from Cinder.

The next contestant was Yang, in- what else- a yellow flame-patterned bikini, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. She moved confidently on the stage, smiling as she felt the eyes of her admirers on her bare skin, some fainting with nosebleeds and others merely staring at her form with drooling mouths.

The Yang Xiao Long Appreciation Group cheered her name, raising banners with her head on it over their heads and wolf-whistling at her.

"Thanks, guys!" Yang called back, blowing a kiss at the audience. "I love you all too~"

With that, she strutted back offstage, taking care to emphasise her rump with her walk.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You really enjoyed that, didn't you."  
"I'm confident in my body, unlike some people." The brawler retorted, smirking. "I'd like Winter to beat-"

Winter then strolled on stage, clad in a white dress tied around her waist, patterned with what looked like _Edelweiss_ flowers, and her chest hidden by a relatively modest single piece of snowflake-patterned cloth.

"Was I too overdressed?" Winter inquired, genuinely confused. "I heard swimsuit and, well, I wore the clothes I always do to the beach-"

"AAAAHHHH"

"She's so..._hot_..."  
"WINTER-SEMPAI HAVE MY BABIES"

Her own admirers began collectively drooling or getting nosebleeds. Even without showing most of her skin, Winter was still incredibly appealing.

Weiss sighed. "As usual, my sister is-oh, Yang! You _pervert_!"

"Huh?" Yang turned to her from staring at Winter, one of her nostrils leaking blood.

"YOU PERVERT!"  
"W-what are you talking about?! I-I didn't perv on Winter! I-it's not like s-she's _perfect_!" The brawler protested. "Perfect mix of muscles and fat, nice as-"  
"THAT'S MY SISTER, YOU PERVERTED DEVIANT!" The heiress snapped. "QUIT THAT!"  
"You perv over _my_ sister and I don't stop you!"

"That's a different case and you know that!"

"No it isn't!"

While Yang and Weiss squabbled, Jaune took his place on the stage.

He had a plain navy-blue pair of swimming trunks, exposing his toned yet slender body, smooth, tanned skin from years of Hunting and a figure most adult men, let alone teenagers, would die to attain.

It was too much for his admirers, most of whom who fainted or started crying at the fact that they couldn't mob the stage.

Jaune sighed in relief as some of his more persistent fans were held back by purple bars of energy, courtesy of Professor Faust.  
Meanwhile, backstage...

"Pyrrha. Pyrrrrha!" Ren snapped his fingers as she and Minako both stared at the knight from offstage.

The spearmaiden mumbled out softly. "He's even...more perfect..."  
"...than I imagined..." The brunette next to her finished, staring in wonder at him.

Weiss crossed her arms, blushing. "Hmph. I've seen better-sis! What are you doing?!"

Winter tilted her head at him. "Huh. I wonder what's making everyone stare at him?"  
"What's making _you_ stare at him?!"

"...I haven't the foggiest. He has a good physique for a boy of his age, I'll give you that..." Winter nodded, completely oblivious as usual.

The heiress facepalmed. "Why must you be intelligent in _everything but this_?!"

Of course, compared to that, even Ruby's adorable one-piece swimsuit and Weiss' own bikini- her walk predictably punctuated with fits of rage and denial about her chest size- paled.

Roman cleared his throat to settle the audience down, nodding.

"Alright, you guys had your fun, now!

In descending order, Winter, Jaune and Yang are our top contestants for that round!"

Yang pumped her fist." YES! I came CLOSE! CLOSE, DAMMIT!"

Blake shook her head. "Well, now that that round's over, there's no way we'll win the next one. None of us can cross-dress as convincingly as Jaune."

Jaune closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Oh, now it's the _crossdressing_ round..."  
Ren placed his hand on the knight's shoulder. "Just a few more minutes. Don't worry."

Pyrrha was nearby, resisting the urge to squeal at the concept of Jaune in a dress.

* * *

"And so, the final round of the pageant, the crossdressing round!" Roman announced, waiting out the ensuing rapturous applause before continuing.

"Firstly, may we introduce the greatest heartbre-actually, you know what, that sounds stupid and I'm not some cheesy emcee." Roman scoffed. "Just give it up for Weiss!"

Weiss strolled onto stage, dressed in a sharp white business suit, her tiara gone and her hair tucked underneath a white wig. Her piercing blue eyes were behind plain, thin square-rimmed glasses, as she looked calmly down at the audience, a frown on her face.

The audience clapped slowly, with murmurs of approval.

"Yeah, we all know what you're really here for." Weiss shrugged. "Let's get on with it."

With that, she walked off.

Roman read his tablet, clearing his throat once more.

"Next up, the main attraction- Cinder's words, not mine- Jaune, step on up!"

Jaune slowly walked on stage, trembling in his clothes.

"...h-hi..."

He was dressed in a white blouse with a long navy-blue skirt, with his hair hidden with a blonde wig in a small tight bun over the top of his head. Relatively modest, but it was enough to make Jaune appear to be a woman.

"Oh my..."  
"I'd hit that."  
"Is that _really_ Jaune?"

"I feel conflicted!"

'_This is embarrassing..._' Jaune thought, mortified.

He slowly walked back off, ignoring the leers following him off, followed by thunderous applause and yelling of names.

Compared to that, of course, nobody else had any chance.

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"...and the contestants who came in are..." Roman read off the tablet carefully. "...hm. In third place, Vivi managed to scrape the overall vote."  
"Pi!" Vivi gestured proudly to herself, nodding.

"...in second came Yang."  
"DAMMIT!" The brawler cursed.

"And in first...our joint winners...after much deliberation from the judges..." Roman declared. "...are Winter and Jaune!"

The audience absolutely exploded, clapping and shouting their names as loud as they could. Winter looked to her fellow winner, smiling tenderly.

"I guess our teams will share the boon."  
"...heh. Yeah." Jaune extended his hand. "Good one."

Winter shook it. "Indeed, Mister Arc."

She held it for far longer than necessary- or, at least, far longer than Pyrrha declared necessary.

The spearmaiden cleared her throat. "_Winter_."

"Oh! Oh my." The lady took her hand back, blushing slightly.

Jaune chuckled. "No, no, it's fine. Really."

"...I-I apologise if I was being rude..."

Yang, meanwhile, sobbed with her face in her hands. "I still lost...dammit..."

Winter frowned at her. "What's wrong? Is there something I can do for Miss Xiao Long, Weiss?"

Weiss merely grinned.

"No. Not really. She'll be _fine_."

"My sexiness...I'll never reclaim the sexy..."

Blake sat next to her, patting her on the back.

"I don't think punching you in the face will do you much good this time round, sadly..."

Needless to say, all was well in Beacon for now- except for Yang's reputation, of course.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: And there ends that arc! Next chapter, Jaune and Blake React to 'Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist!' A huge thanks to ****UhhICanExplain**** for letting us do their fic!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	57. Blake & Jaune's Infinite Playlist!

**Jaune Reacts to Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Good news, now that we've finally caught up to our workload, we'll be able to take more requests from everyone again. Christ, we finally did it. Now...a shout-out to ****UhhICanExplain**** for letting us write about his awesome fic.**

**Also because Jaune harem tease. Always the Jaune harem tease.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would be the best-dressed character in the series.**

**Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist belongs to ****UhhICanExplain****.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Must say, thanks for inviting me over here." Blake whistled as she slung her bag onto a chair in JNPR dorm. "It's absolute hell over at mine."  
"No problem. Ren and Nora went to that one pancake place in Vale that just opened and Nora's been waiting on forever for...?" Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Wait, why are you here again?"

"Oh, Ruby accidentally broke our coffee machine and now the whole dorm smells like burnt coffee." Blake shuddered. "We had to get Miss Lupin to clean it up, but we've been basically kicked out of our dorm for the next half-day."

"Good Dust." Jaune rubbed his temple. "How did she break it that bad?"  
"It's _Ruby_."  
"You have a point there-"

"May I offer you any drinks?" Pyrrha inquired happily.

Blake shook her head, undoing her bow to rub her cat ears softly. "No thanks. I thought you were out with Weiss?"

"Change of plans." The spearmaiden shrugged. "So, drinks?"

"I would love some." Winter nodded slowly. Blake jumped, surprised, while Pyrrha merely stared at her emotionless.

"W-when did _you_ get there?!" The catgirl stared at her.

Winter frowned slightly. "Did you not notice me? I have been here for hours. I am having my dorm fumigated.

The chocolate my admirers leave me has, regrettably, attracted cockroaches, which Miss Honda has to unfortunately deal with..."

_Meanwhile..._

Tohru calmly sighed as yet another giant cockroach grabbed a box of chocolates to carry it off into the darkness, only for her to lure it straight into a metal trap.

"This isn't the worst way to spend an afternoon." She said, smiling brightly. "And besides, I get to stay in a luxury suite for the day!"

Professor Port stared at the girl, dumbfounded. He had his axe-blunderbuss implanted into the body of another cockroach.

"Ma'am, I am _surprised_ how you can remain so optimistic surrounded by such giant insects!"  
Tohru tilted her head. "It's surprising? I thought everyone could do that."

"I can see why Elizabeth chose you to be her helper on the caretaking staff..." The professor mused.

_Back at the dorm..._

"So..." Blake took a seat next to Jaune. Winter and Pyrrha also pulled up chairs next to Jaune, sidling up closely.

"You got anything to do around here? Manly things, like bear punching?"

"Bear punching?!" Jaune stared at her. "What kind of activity is that?!"  
"Manly! My father was a _professional_ bear puncher!" Blake declared proudly. "Well, he also wrestled wolverines and honey badgers..."

Winter nodded appreciatively, staring at Blake in wounder.. "So the tales my father told about Ysengrim were true. He really _did_ do that..."

"Nothing like Nora's grandfather, who actually _wrestled a dragon_..." Blake muttered jealously.

Jaune raised a finger. "Actually, I had this one fic some guy messaged me on DustFiction about this one music fic.

It's called 'Jaune and Blake's Infinite Playlist."  
Blake blanched, recognising the title. "I had the misfortune of watching that film when Yang was in one of her nostalgia moods.

Tch. Not enough badass people..."

"I don't know. It sounds interesting enough."  
Pyrrha, meanwhile, was twitching. "Jaune and _Blake_'_s_?"

"Hold your horses, girl, I'm not that into Jaune." The catgirl responded. "And if you try anything silly, I'm going to _show_ you just how manly I can be!"

"Understood." Pyrrha nodded calmly.

Jaune sighed, shrugging. "Well, not like we have anything else to do, unless you guys want to play Super Smash Bros or something."

"Maybe some other time, Mister Arc." Winter said with a light smile.

* * *

"...pfft. Weiss as your ex?" Blake scoffed.

Pyrrha frowned. "Why does every fic ship him with Weiss or Blake?"  
"Because Arkos is boring." The catgirl retorted, shrugging. "Sorry, it's true. People like the tsunderes."

"Are you, then, implying that you are a tsundere?" Winter inquired. Blake's eyes widened before she shook her head hurriedly.

"N-not what I meant!"  
"And does that mean I...I have to start acting like one?" Pyrrha sighed, shaking her head before lightly slapping Jaune with her palm, before pulling it back.

"Y-you...i-idiot..." Pyrrha choked out, trying to approximate her best impression of Weiss she could. "...I-I...do not care about you...

...I can't do it."

Jaune gave her a deadpan look. "Yeah, you're not cut out to be a tsundere."

Blake just rolled her eyes at Pyrrha. "Are you that desperate that you'd try to act like Weiss just to get people to ship him with you?"  
The spearmaiden shook her head hurriedly. "N-no! Of course not!"

Blake cringed at the portrayal of Weiss. "Eesh. Weiss would have a fit if she knew how this guy wrote her.

Winter frowned at that. "I doubt that my sister would ever treat her lovers like that. She is far more caring and loving than people give her credit for."

Jaune chuckled darkly. "Could've fooled me..."  
He was joking, of course; for all her anger and sarcasm, Weiss really was nice when she wanted to be.

Key word being _wanted_; in part due to Yang and her ilk stressing her out and irritating her to no end, it was rare to have Weiss want to be nice.

Blake shook her head at the screen. "Okay, I am _many_ things- completely canon-defiling, badass, intelligent- but why would I _dig_ through trash for something good?!"  
Pyrrha shrugged. "Perhaps it's because you were in love with Jaune-kun already."  
"D-don't say that! No way!" Blake snapped, shaking her head. "Besides, my t-taste in men's completely different!"

Jaune sighed exasperatedly. _'Good Dust, it's happening again._'

"Oh, the things my dad would say if he saw this part about me being all mopey about Weiss..." Jaune chuckled. "He'd probably say something like "Believe in the me who believes in you" or "You know, you're much tougher than this"-

Blake, why do you look starstruck?"  
"H-huh?" The catgirl shook her head hurriedly, shaking all thoughts about the true identity of Jaune's father out of her head. "N-no reason!"

"Why, that's hardly a way to make use of talent, Mister Arc." Winter tutted. "That will not do."

"Yeah. Your talent deserves to be heard by _everyone_!" Pyrrha declared.

Blake sprouted a knowing grin on her face at the radio announcement. "I see what you did there...sneaky, sneaky author person..."

"Huh? What do you mean? It's just Casey and the Red Ro-oooooh." Jaune nodded, chuckling. "I see. I got that just now."

...

"And, as expected for Yang, she blows crap up." Blake rolled her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

Jaune shuddered. "If she does that _sober_, I'd hate to see her _drunk_..."

"This is why I prefer to avoid alcohol." Winter mused, nodding.

Pyrrha giggled slightly. "Weiss would be so mad if she saw this fic..."  
"Because she was paired with Jaune or because she looks like an utter tool?" Blake inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Both."  
"Correct answer."

"If only Weiss wasn't doing...whatever she was doing." Blake scratched her head. "What did you say she was doing again?"  
The spearmaiden shook her head. "No clue."

_Meanwhile..._

"Peace be around me, peace be upon me." Weiss calmly incanted, her eyes closed and her legs folded, with her hands interlinked at the navel.

Minako clapped. "Excellent. I learned this meditation technique from a friend of mine, you see. It really helps you calm down!"

"Peace be around me, peace be upon me and all those around me." The heiress muttered. "Now...if only I could get Yang to stop being a huge pervert."  
"..." Minako sighed. "...you really aren't going to drop that, are you."  
"Not until she stops." Weiss stated breathily.

"...this meditation thing really _isn't_ working, is it?"  
The heiress smiled innocently. "Of course it is! Now I can plot my vengeance against Xiao Long without my embarrassment or my anger clouding my judgement."

"...she really has a dark side, that's for sure..." Minako shuddered.

_Back at the dorm..._

"W-what the hell is this fic implying?!" Blake snapped, glaring at the screen.

Winter raised a finger. "That you have a romantic interest in Mister Arc, Miss Belladonna."  
"That was rhetorical." Pyrrha pointed out helpfully.

"I know."

"D-Dust, seriously! C-Can't a girl not be shipped with Jaune in this fandom?!" Blake shook her head, blushing.

'_Okay, I __**know**__ my Semblance is off, what gives?!_' Jaune panicked mentally.

Winter placed a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down, Miss Belladonna, it is only a story."

"Could've been worse." Pyrrha reminded her. "May I remind you of the _many_ lemons people write about you and-"  
"Yeah, I don't need a reminder!" Blake snapped.

Jaune stated snickering and cringing in sympathy. "As usual, I have my foot in my mouth."  
"As..._revealing_ as Miss Xiao Long's attire tends to be, I don't think it's that easy to mistake her for an, ah, _escort_." Winter pointed out with a frown.

Meanwhile, Pyrrha twitched at the screen and the ship tease.

"..."

"Miss Nikos? Is everything alright? You look irritated."  
"Positively _rosy._"

...

"Wow, this guy must hate Weiss." Blake whistled. "Seriously, even _Nora_ hates her. Nora, the person who only breaks your knees if you _seriously_ hurt her friends."

"...oh, dammit." Jaune facepalmed. "Dude, it's over, Weiss dumped you and doesn't care about you- and I kinda don't want to call her Weiss because that'd be disrespecting our Weiss...

...and my dad would kill my story self if he knew."

Pyrrha smiled. "So, I'm finally in this fic...and I am somewhat hurt by your lack of trust in me."  
Jaune threw his hands up. "In my defence, when it's _Nora_ suggesting people to you, you tend to take it with a grain of salt!"

"The more I read this, the more I think about just how badly Weiss would _strangle_ this guy." Blake chuckled. "Seriously, it's almost cartoonish how she's acting like that..."

Winter shook her head sadly. "Nothing like my sister. I am disappointed anyone would believe she acts like that..."

"C-cute?!" Blake looked disgusted. "These ears are nothing but _manly_! _MANLY!_

I will _not_ have my ears referred to in the same terms as a bunch of _moeblobs_!"  
"...are you still not over the fact that Azunyan beat you in a fair competition?" Jaune raised his eyebrow.

"D-don't tell me you're a fan of theirs!"  
The knight shook his head hurriedly"...no, but I don't know her real name. Their frontman just called her Azunyan..."  
"Oh dear, Professors Fall and Torchwick..." Winter chuckled. "I don't suppose they would be too appreciative of being seen drunk and kissing each other..."  
"Not sure Cinder'd mind being drunk- being that she's basically an older Yang sometimes." Jaune remarked. "Not sure Torchwick would be caught _dead_ kissing her in public, though..."

* * *

"...you know, that just makes me curious- and I really _shouldn't be_\- about what would happen if Yang did get drunk..." Jaune mused.

"Drunk Yang would _not_ end well." Blake shook her head. "Trust me, even making her _think_ she's drunk's a bad idea.

We were lucky she didn't back during Melanie's birthday..."

"Oh my." Winter frowned even further. "...I don't believe Professor Torchwick would be caught _anywhere_ doing such things with Professor Fall..."

"Ew..." Jaune cringed. "...that's just...disgusting..."

"..." Blake blanched. "Seriously? More hints I'm in love with Jaune?! C-can't I get a free pass?!"

Pyrrha sighed. "Sadly not."

"And to think it's _Nora_ I was worried about..." The knight shook his head, chuckling. "Well, at least we didn't lose Nora.

They just lost a drunk Yang."  
"...I already feel like that's going to come back to haunt them..." Blake remarked drily.

Just then, both of them stared at Nora's 'request'.

"...we just met!" The pair yelled out angrily. "W-we're just friends!"

"H-He's not that cute anyway!" Blake cried.

Pyrrha, meanwhile, twitched again.

"K-Kissing...?"

"...Miss Nikos, I can call the nurse's office if you're having any issues, you seem to be twitching a lot more. Is it out of stress?" Winter inquired, concerned.

"I-I'm fine..."

...

"...you know, if Yang and Weiss ever found out this guy essentially made them look like an escort and a complete tool, they'd be so _mad_..." Blake chuckled, shaking her head. "At least Yang's pulling off her sexy again."

Jaune shuddered. "As..._interesting_...as it would be to have a _very _attractive girl flirting with me and basically all but prepositioning me, I think I'd pass."

Pyrrha's eyes lit up. "Really?"  
"Yeah...wait, why are you so happy?"

"...no reason." The spearmaiden twiddled her fingers innocently.

"So you would not mind if I prepositioned you to a date?" Winter inquired just as innocently. Jaune was taken aback.

"W-what prompted that question?!"  
"I was just curious...to see if you found me..._attractive_."

"...w-well...y-you're not _ugly_!" Jaune shook his head. "I-I mean...w-wait, why are you asking this question?!"  
"I...actually don't know myself." Winter looked away, blushing slightly.

Blake facepalmed. "Seriously, me? You only knew the guy for an hour and you're in love with him! Does he have that stupid Semblance or something?!"

Pyrrha grumbled. "Still annoyed I'm not getting anything here..."

"...I'd probably give myself a dope slap." Jaune sighed. "Seriously, get over Weiss! This Weiss is...a douche.

At least our Weiss means well...even if she talks like a crotchety old man and is about as grumpy as one..."

"Oh." Blake sighed, rubbing her temples. "Good Dust, Weiss. Are you _really _that much of a tool? Wow.

Our Weiss would probably throttle her for being petty, if anything."

...

"...typical Nora." Jaune chuckled. "Guess some things never change."

Blake nodded with a little smile. "Yep. That, they don't."

Pyrrha cleared her throat loudly. "The fic, if you please."

"Calm down!" Jaune cried. "Sheesh, it's not like I'm going to start kissing Blake here just because this fic's about that..."

Blake blushed slightly. "...d-did it have to be kissing?!"  
"You know what I meant!"

"...Green Hornet, huh?" Winter mused. "...I've always wanted to have their car."  
"You're into that?" Pyrrha tilted her head.

The lady nodded. "Of course. I found their adventures to be exhilarating, and I used to beg Father to convert his car into the Black Beauty..."

"...this won't end well." Blake seethed. "So she's a racist, too.

Please, someone give this Weiss a punch in the face, she clearly deserves it..."  
"You're telling me." Jaune muttered. "Seriously, she broke up with me and wants me back because you're trying to get with me? And _wow_ that is a rare sentence which I hope _never_ to have to say when I'm talking about something real.

Least Neptune's a good therapist. Looks like Weiss needs one, too."

"...oh good grief, is this really an argument about whether 'rad' is a word or not?" Blake looked irritated. "It's not a word!"  
"Of course it is!" Jaune snapped back. "It's totally a word!"

"It's true." Winter held up a dictionary. "It is."  
"Dammit, Winter!" The catgirl complained. "Do you have to be so annoyingly literal?"  
"You asked if it was a word and I answered it. I don't see anything wrong with that."

Pyrrha, meanwhile, still paid attention to the chapter.

"Oh good Dust, Yang doesn't remember anything and she's angry.

I hope Sun wrote his will, this is not going to end well for him..."

"Drunk Adam comes in to ruin the tension." Blake sighed. "Well...I can't say I didn't expect something to screw it all up."

"The way Adam was at the Festival, he'd probably _blanch_ at getting drunk." Jaune mused. "Seriously, did you see how intense he was?"  
"The man grew a pair after I left." Blake chuckled. "Still no challenge for my badassery, but credit where credit is due.

Also, jealousy time and Yang with Sun? ...eh, the rumours say it happens."  
"...oh my." Winter blushed, shaking her head. "How _lewd_, Miss Xiao Long..."

...

"A heart to heart." Blake noted, before scoffing dismissively. "Boring.

A _real_ man would be giving manly speeches and telling Jaune to _man up_! Because his band...is the band that shall _rock the __**Heavens**__!"_

The catgirl was standing up, pointing her finger at the sky, her Team Antic cape and triangle shades on.

Winter tilted her head. "...just what are you doing, Miss Belladonna?"  
"Shush. I'm having my badass moment."

Pyrrha shook her head. "Seriously, Yang, in a public _place_?"

"...and what _is_ Weiss playing at here?" Blake scratched her head. "I don't even...what?"

"...more heart to heart." Jaune sighed. "Although, Sun and Yang would make a pretty good couple."  
"Yes. Someone who can actually _put up_ with her madness and perversion. Even I, in all my manliness, can't always do it..." Blake admitted sadly. "...and punching her in the face would do her no good, either."  
"Why does everything manly have to do with punching people in the face?!" Jaune cried exasperatedly.

* * *

The quartet had read through the entire chapter without comment.

Then they got to the end.

Blake's eyelid twitched.

"...you and I are _complete morons_ in this fic." The catgirl seethed, irritated. "Seriously, _dammit_.

At least you and Weiss can get your issues sorted, but seriously, _what was I thinking asking __**Adam**_out?!"

"Jealousy." Winter shook her head. " Powerful, but corrupting."  
"...you got that right." Jaune nodded. "Seriously. At least Weiss ended up being somewhat nice, Adam just..."  
"...yeah, we get the sentiment." Blake nodded, moving to the next chapter. "Let's get the rest of this out of the way, eh?"

Winter nodded. "I am somewhat excited to see where this goes...and yet somewhat disappointed."  
"...I can share your sentiment..." Pyrrha nodded slowly.

'_If only he'd turned around and noticed me...'_

...

"...did he just try to slip me a mickey?!" Blake stared at the screen in disbelief.

Pyrrha frowned. "What are you complaining about? At least you have Jaune-kun-"  
"If that was me, he would be flooded with a thousand drills..." The catgirl muttered darkly. "Absolutely flooded..."

Winter smiled. "At least my sister redeemed herself in the end."  
"Yeah." Jaune nodded, smiling a little too. "I knew Weiss couldn't be that cruel and petty forever.

I know her too well."

"No. That's accurate." The lady admitted. "She can be petty...but she would regret it."  
"Except if the target was Yang." Blake reminded her. "She'd be laughing gleefully then."

"...I never _did_ understand why Weiss dislikes Miss Xiao Long so much..." Winter tapped her chin. "Was it something she did?"  
"A _lot _of somethings." Jaune sighed, exasperated already at the memory of those. "You...were lucky you missed those."

Pyrrha merely turned away, muttering to herself.

"I had Jaune-kun first..." She complained. "...and they always ship him with Blake or Weiss..."

...

"Well, all's well that ends well. You found Casey, Mister Taurus got his just desserts and Mister Arc and Miss Belladonna are together." Winter clapped happily. "Excellent."

"...I-I'm not even interested in Jaune..." Blake weakly muttered.

Pyrrha, for the most part, was huddled in a corner, holding a Jaune plushie to her chest.

"...Miss Nikos?"

"...just leave it." Jaune sighed. "Let's get the review done."  
"Let me do it!" Winter pleaded. "I insist! This is my first time doing so."

"Okay...?"

* * *

-From: **Winter Schnee**

An excellent way to spend one's afternoon. Mister Arc and Miss Belladonna would like to thank you.

Miss Nikos seems disappointed, on the other hand. I cannot tell why.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day,

Winter Schnee

* * *

"So...would anyone like tea?" Winter offered. "I might be able to make some. Miss Nikos definitely seems as if she needs some."  
Jaune sighed. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

And so began a not so usual afternoon in JNPR dorm.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: For those of you wondering why last couple of parts of this chapter are crap, it's because my computer crashed when I had them typed up and I had no back-up. Apologies for that.**

**Next, a shout out to ****UhhICanExplain**** for letting us do this chapter, and next chapter, Glynda Reacts to Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, Part 3, courtesy of our colleague ****Half-Blind Otaku****!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	58. The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, Part 3!

**Glynda Reacts to Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for once, we'll be focusing on the underfocused faculty of Beacon, like Glynda and stuff. We'll be devoting a small arc to Glynda and friends! Let's do this. Don't worry, you'll have your Weiss back soon- Yang would probably murder me if I didn't as half her screen time is based on hers and we all know how Yang likes her screen time.**

**Let's get this chapter on the way! We'll be covering chapters 51 onwards tonight, and whatever chapters aren't covered tonight will be covered in Thursday's chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be far more gunslingers (fanfic authors, here's your cue to make cowboy expies).**

**Diary of Glynda Goodwitch belongs to ****Half-Blind Otaku.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective creators.**

* * *

"Is this entirely necessary?" Glynda sighed, fixing her glasses as she loaded a heavy, rigid leatherbound case onto the large silver bus outside Beacon's gate.

"Of course." Ozpin fixed his glasses. "It would be an excellent opportunity."  
"For Cinder to execute her typical insanity?" Glynda scoffed. "I think not."  
"Glynda." Ozpin frowned, crossing his arms. "You know you've been working for a year without breaks."

"Because I don't need any-"  
"Trust me, Glynda." He grasped her shoulder, causing her to blush somewhat. "You need one."  
"Y-yes, Ozpin."

Ozpin had invited all available staff for a small escapade to a beach owned by the Schnee family- ostensibly to promote relaxation, for a three day holiday away from the stresses of Beacon. This included Glynda, despite her protests- the only staff left were the perennially hard-working Professor Peach, the medical staff, Tukson and the caretaking apprentices, along with several other teachers who'd declined the offer. It was reasoned, with Siegmund Schnee safely locked away in prison, this time for good, and with the lowest Grimm numbers in ages, it was safe to leave Beacon in the hands of relatively little staff.

And it wasn't as if the students were defenceless anyway, given that they had managed to smuggle tanks, planes and giant robots into the place without him noticing. They were probably safe without them for three days.

Still, Glynda was unsure about this trip, what with Cinder going along- arguable much worse than having Yang and all of 'Team Antic' in attendance- and her general wariness, built up over years of Hunting-

"Come on, Glynda, cheer up!"

Professor Port laughed uproariously, patting her on the back and nearly making her drop the briefcase- more out of surprise than out of weakness, though the literal hunter did sometimes lack a handle on his own strength.

"Peter." Glynda calmly intoned. "I nearly dropped my briefcase. Please, do not pat me so hard on the back next time..."

"My jubilation simply needs to be expressed in a manner befitting!" Peter roared proudly, before packing a long, dark leather case- containing his own weapon, the infamous blunderbuss-axe- into the luggage compartment.

The stern instructor merely shook her head and boarded the bus, sighing to herself.

"This is going to be a _long_ three days."

"Glyndaaaa~" Cinder sidled up to her, grinning. Glynda rubbed her temples, irritated.

"...yes, Cinder?"  
"Teehee...I have a secret I want you to know~"

"Alright, that's the last of them!" Peter called from the front of the bus, helping Tohru on board and shutting the door behind him. The bus driver nodded and turned on the ignition, beginning to drive off from the Beacon gates.

Glynda sighed, reading the latest reprint of _Wizards of Romance_. "What?"  
"Your diary~" The pyromancer giggled, holding up the second volume of her old diary, giggling as Glynda stared at her, blanching in embarrassment.

"Y-you WHAT?!"

"Guess where I found _this_ beauty?" Cinder winked at her mischievously.

"No." Glynda shook her head. "You _didn't_."  
"I did."

"...you _broke into my chest, _that I managed to finally install a coded lock on-"  
"With a crowbar." Cinder waved her off dismissively before giggling insanely. "Now, I'd tease you about reading your porn again-"  
"Dammit, this is a RESPECTABLE SERIES OF RESPECTABLE BOOKS WRITTEN WITH ARTFUL SCENES-"  
"As I said, porn. Anyway, I'd tease you about it, but I'd _rather_ get to the juicy stuff you write about us~"

Glynda groaned visibly, at least thankful that neither Chieri nor Yin were present staff members and that Yuko was sound asleep at the back, having been dragged out of bed after forgetting she was even going on the trip in the first place.

"What will it take you to not read out my diary to the whole bus?"  
"Oh, you can't afford my price, dear." Cinder smirked. "You're just going to have to sit there and deal with it~

Ah, where did we leave off? Ah, yes, entry fifty- when we all just started at Beacon. This ought to be _fun_."

"Damn you, Fall. _Damn you..._y-you i-idiot..." Glynda merely looked away and blushed.

This was going to be the longest bus trip she'd ever taken.

* * *

"Oooh, you even came up with a nice, convenient equation for the amount of antics we do!" Cinder squealed. "Isn't that just cute~?"  
"S-shut up! I-It isn't as if I-I wanted to! Y-you people gave me a migraine! Y-you people are _still _giving me a migraine!" Glynda protested, shaking her head. Cinder sighed, leaning back in her chair and enjoying how easy it was to embarrass her.

"Oh my! I never knew you would swing that way, although I had my suspicions..." Cinder giggled at the mention of Yuko.

The instructor yelled at her even more. "I-It wasn't LIKE that! W-we were merely friends, n-nothing more!"

"We'll see about that. There's _tons_ more juicy material for me to read here~" The pyromancer chuckled as she held the book out of reach of a squirming Glynda.

"G-give it back!"  
"Nuh-uh-uh! You didn't say the magic word!"  
"_Cinder_."

"Glynda~"

"_Give it back._"  
"Nope! Not unless you say the magic word~"  
"..." Glynda sighed audibly. _'If you're going to be so immature..._'

"Fine. Give my diary back _please_."  
"Nope!" Cinder smiled brightly. "And if you take it back, I'm going to release all your Mami cosplay pictures."  
"You _wouldn't dare._"

"I would. And I would laugh maniacally while you squirm." The pyromancer pointed out. "I ran a criminal empire, dear, do you think sending out a few blackmail pictures of my dear, voluptuous...ahh, _gifted_ friend in a _tight_ corset and dress-"  
"T-that's enough!" The instructor yelped, blushing and turning away. "Y-you win."  
"Excellent." Cinder reopened the diary. "Nice to know I get what I want."

"I-Idiot..."

"I aspire to such an ideal." Cinder turned the page to the next entry, before laughing.

"Boundlessly modest my backside!"

Glynda grumbled. "I was a teenager. Young and stupid."  
"We can argue the second point."  
"N-nobody asked if you could!"

"Ahh...I remember this day!" The pyromancer sighed fondly, remembering Duke's bruised and battered self walking to the infirmary after Siegfried's legendary vengeance of his teammate. "Maaaan, he did _not_ get out of that one well."  
"Served him right." Glynda scoffed. "He shouldn't have-"  
"You would prefer 'hug me' to 'squeeze me'? Dear, I think I know _exactly_ what you'd prefer-"  
"I-If you're going to root through my private belongings, at least have the _decency_ to do it quickly!" Glynda snapped, blushing.

"Oh, a bit snappy, are we~"

Cinder was enjoying this. She really was. It was _fun_ teasing Glynda.

* * *

"Lia Nikos?" Cinder whistled suggestively. "I know she's still one of the sexiest women in all of the Four Kingdoms, but-"  
"All of her images were _photochopped_, dammit, _photochopped_! N-Not that I was _ever_ into her, o-or anything!" Glynda snapped defensively.

Cinder shook her head slowly. "Oh, and Glynda, you do realise that being a bitter former 'not' fangirl means you _used_ to be a non-fangirl of hers, right?"  
"I-I was _young and stupid_!"

"Riiiiiight."Cinder rolled her eyes before reading the next entry. "Wait, you know who Emily Neves is?"

Glynda gave her a completely confused look. "Who?"

"...team Casting Gag. Really?" The pyromancer raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. "Dust, if you're going to make an voice actor allusion, at least know who you're talking about."

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. It just sounded like a nice thing to include!" Glynda responded. "It was Yuko's idea, anyway."

"Hah. If we were to get that Isara girl, Minako, that one sister of Jaune's- I think her name's Lucina or something?- and Tohru in a room, now _that_ would be a casting gag" Cinder chuckled. "Let me tell you now. _That_ would be a casting gag."  
"I still don't know who this woman you're speaking about is and I don't understand what you mean." Glynda responded, absolutely deadpan.

"Pfft." The pyromancer waved her off. "Anyway...to the _next _entry..."

"Skanky Mc-Photoshop..." Glynda rolled her eyes. "I swear she-"  
"I don't know how I didn't let 'Little Miss Pads-Her-Bra' through, but that was genius!" Cinder laughed. "Although Skanky Mc-Photoshop sounds just as good...

And all of the nosebleeds caused that day...I mean, I'm disappointed _I_ didn't cause any of them, but still."

Glynda stared at her. "_Cinder_!"

"What? I didn't get named Beacon's sexiest teacher for nothing!"  
"That was a poll _you_ ran and you _forced _Roman to vote in."

"It wasn't forcing him, dear."  
"It is if you threaten to deliberately starve yourself of burritos again." Glynda reminded her. "Do you even _know_ what dealing with you with burritos is _like_?!"  
Cinder smirked. "I know full well. Anyway...and really, you thought a simple alliance was going to stop our antics? You were so naive, it's _cute_~"

"D-don't say things like that, y-you moron! You sound perverted!"

"I can only tell the truth." Cinder shrugged. "I was pretty surprised you owned a Magical Momo outfit anyway-"  
"IT WAS YIN'S"  
"We all know it was yours, it had your _name written in permanent marker on it, in your handwriting, which we matched to your **Mami** cosplay_."

Cinder flipped the page, smirking. "Ah, I remember those days. The Horsemen and the Brigade..."

"...yeah, they were fun for you. Guess how much of a headache it was for _me_?!"

"Dear, you shouldn't get in the way of good antics then~"  
"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD ANTIC!"

* * *

"The First Great Antic War." Cinder sighed fondly, remembering the days of insanity that filled Beacon's halls with the gods of the Trope Pantheon, pies, cosplay launchers and what-have-you. "Those were the days indeed."  
"Yep. You even enjoyed it enough that you got involved in the _second_ one." Glynda rolled her eyes.

Cinder shrugged. "May I remind you, _who_ completely annihilated the other fighters of that war? And who tried to use cosplay-pie cannons? _You_ did.

He who fights monsters, Glynda..."  
"I-I did what I _had_ to!" The instructor retorted. "I-I wasn't doing it for antics!"  
"Say what you like, I'm sure everyone believes you." Cinder snorted.

"And seriously, you tried to summon Yuki Kajiura? Unfair."

"I _did what I had to_." Glynda reminded her more forcefully.

The pyromancer shook her head and continued reading. "And the East Wing Concordat...the one _you_ violated..."

"Miss Xiao Long violated it first!"  
"I don't think we ever covered 'lusting after a sister of one of the accused' as _violating_ it."

"Yes we did!"

"And anyway, you broke it worse." Cinder shrugged. "Need I remind you of what you did?"  
"NO YOU DO NOT"

The pyromancer shrugged. "Suit yourself. Although, I think we should've added the clause of 'no summoning O-Homura-sama'...she might get pissed we're interrupting her Madoka time or something."

_Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Reactsverse..._

Homura sneezed. She was calmly watching over a sleeping Madoka.

"Hm. So that's what it feels like to have people to talk about me." The time-traveller quietly mused, watching her protectorate breathe in and out, completely unaware- and thankfully for her watcher, for her cheeks were slightly red.

_Back upon the bus..._  
"Good _Dust_."  
"Yep, pissing off a time-travelling lunatic with guns the size of this bus isn't ideal." Cinder pointed out. "Anyway...to your _next entry_..."

Glynda recalled with horrifying accuracy the day when the infamous Kotomi had attempted to rehearse with actual J-pop singers. "...never _again_."  
"Pretty sure Ludwig turned prematurely grey because of that..." Cinder shuddered. "Poor guy..."  
"Poor me for being trapped under Yin..."  
"I'm sure you enjoyed that~"  
"I told you, I-I do _not_ and never _had_ a crush on Yin!"

"Like you never had one on Chieri. Or Ozpin. Or Diarmuid. Or Lia. Or-"  
"I GET YOUR POINT IS A TEENAGE GIRL NOT ALLOWED TO APPRECIATE A WELL-KEPT BODY WHEN SHE SEES ONE"

...

Cinder laughed raucously at the next entry. "You had an _Ozpin _shrine?"  
"...it was a tasteful shrine, with only one picture and a couple of candles." Glynda pointed out, wounded.

"...you have good taste." Cinder whistled. "And really, you gave a hat that says _you will amount to nothing_ to a _sick little girl_?!"  
"In retrospect, that was a terrible idea!"  
"No way." Cinder gave Glynda a deadpan look. "That probably screwed up your karma."  
"This bus ride is probably payback."

"And deservedly." The pyromancer smirked, before flipping over to the next entry. It was _her_ turn to blush.

"Hehe..."  
"You morons _lied_ to me about the Chieri thing..." Glynda grumbled.

"In my defense, Emmy isn't exactly the most_ reliable_ source-"

"YOU MADE US ALL LOOK LIKE MORONS!"  
"You're the one who wanted to give her hugs and score a date with her~"  
"I NEVER SAID THAT" The instructor snapped, blushing.

"At this rate, the subtext is so obvious you'd need to be blind not to see it." Cinder giggled, just watching Glynda resist the urge to strangle her right then and there.

"I swear...if it wasn't for the fact you probably have a backup plan...I would throttle you right here, right now..."  
"Damn straight." Cinder giggled, swallowing slightly.

_'Hopefully she never finds out I don't have a backup plan, otherwise I'm toast..._'

"And anyway, I _only_ did what a good friend would for Chieri!" Glynda snapped. "I would _never_ exploit her!"

"You sur-"  
"I am sure." The instructor stated calmly, but sternly. "_Never_."  
"Wow, you got all serious. ANYWAY!" Cinder flipped over to the next entry in her diary.

* * *

"Wow, I remember this incident." Cinder whistled. "Fun times."  
"A horde of zombie stacks of twigs and plushies does not make for a _good camping experience!_" Glynda snapped angrily.

"You're lucky Faust is in the back, otherwise she'd probably maul you for saying that." The pyromancer sighed. "Although I did score some moe pictures of scared Saki..."

"That is NOT moe!"

"Wait, so when Yin squeals like a little girl, that's moe, but when Saki's horrified because she's more of a coward than Roman, that's not?"  
"YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF MOE!"

Cinder rolled her eyes. "You just want to _squeeze_ Yin, don't you?"  
"N-no!" The instructor shook her head vigorously. "W-why would you say that?!"  
"All I'm saying, you seem to mention Yin _a lot_."

"Yin is and has always been just my friend! I just wanted to appreciate her adorableness, now quit talking like a boorish drunkard!"

"Hey!" Cinder looked offended. "I am _not_ a drunkard! If you must know, I'm a burritoholic." She whipped a burrito out, opening the wrapper and eating it. "Want one? I bought loads"  
"No thank you."

"Suit yourself." The pyromancer shrugged. "Anyway...woooow, you even wrote about the Frankenplushie incident. You really _do_ like recording our lives, don't you? I'm going to need to keep this, I want to write my autobiography-"  
"If you keep that diary, then I swear upon all the powers in this world that you will _never sleep again_."

Cinder shuddered. Suddenly, she didn't think Glynda was kidding- judging by the deadly calm look on her face.

"...y-yes, ma'am."  
"Good." The instructor's resultant smile, Cinder swore, had just a _hint _of sadistic glee. "Now, can we hurry up? I would rather like my diary _back_."

"O-okay, Glynda, no need to start, erm, threatening insomnia." Cinder hurriedly flipped to the next page.

* * *

Cinder chuckled. "Oh, Neo, you never cease to amaze me."

"To this day, I regret taking pity upon that _sorceress..._" Glynda shuddered. "To see _so many sweets..._"

"Pfft. She was an amateur." Cinder scoffed. "I would've just wished for money to _buy_ that many sweets, considering she flooded the whole damned campus with candy...although I did love the magical girl stri-"  
"IT WASN'T LIKE THAT AND BESIDES WHAT KIND OF A PERVERT DRESSES LIKE THAT FOR _THAT_ REASON?!"

Cinder motioned towards her neighbour. "Well, _you_, firstly-"

"Irrelevant, as I am neither perverted nor did I _intend_ to wear it like that!" Glynda snapped.

"But there are enough people with _that_ kinda kink out there. Just saying."  
"Tch. It's just you and your soiled mind..."

The pyromancer shrugged. "At least I admit it."

"What are you implying?!"  
"Many things~"  
"Quit with your double-talk!"  
"What doub-"  
"JUST READ THE DIARY."

Cinder sighed, shaking her head. "And just fifteen minutes ago, you threatened to gut me for having this thing..."  
"Y-yeah, well I-I just found it more convenient to keep you alive!"

"Still so immature." The pyromancer remarked. "You really haven't changed all that much from your teenage days."  
"I will have you know I am _far_ more dignified."

Cinder scoffed dismissively for the umpteenth time. "Hard to believe you're anything near dignified when you get nosebleeds over anything cute..."  
...

"See? Even _you_ called it a magical stripper outfit!" Cinder declared, pointing at the diary.

"No, I called it a Magical Momo outfit! How _dare_ you imply that I would ever wear such an outfit?!"

"Because you did and we saw you do it and we have pictures of it?"  
"Irrelevant! At least I got you back for that by making you _eat _that abomination they called octopus bread- which, by the way, doesn't count as bread if it's _squirming!"_

Cinder nodded, frowning. "Yes, if I recall, you _hid_ all my burritos and made me eat it..."  
Glynda adjusted her glasses. "Par for the course."

"Touché, Goodwitch." The pyromancer conceded. "Anyway, onwards we-hah! The Sports Festival!"  
"Ah, yes, the one we ended up abolishing because it was declared so _meaningless_ to a _combat academy_." Glynda sighed, shaking her head at the memory. "I still don't understand why we did that."  
"Well, Roman's our Economics professor, so..." Cinder shrugged. "It's not like we don't have conventional subjects."

Glynda glared at her. "Irrelevant. Especially considering you _cheated_."  
"Hey, if Andreas is allowed to whip drills out of nowhere and Emmy's allowed Gungnir, I'm allowed to burn stuff!" Cinder protested. "And your team cheated with that stupid rain dance!"  
"Only because you kept burning the ball." Glynda reminded her.  
"Yeah, yeah, same difference." Her opponent waved her off. "Now to read about-oh. So THAT'S what happened to you that Thursday!"  
"Yes, because of you, Yin was mentally traumatised!"

"Not the person who keeps smutty magical girl doujinshi on public display~", teased Cinder.

The instructor glared right back at her. "And guess who _hexed it and gave it to me _in the first place?!"  
"I know not who you speak of~" Cinder smirked. "You must be accusing a less _innocent _person than I~"  
"You and I both know you put a hex on that thing."

"Nobody can prove anything. And you _enjoyed _being with a group of even bigger perverts than you-"  
Glynda blushed, shaking her head. "I..I mean, they were only getting into character!"

"I don't recall Mami ever reading doujinshi of something tentacle r-"  
"Okay, you've made your point!" Glynda cut her off brusquely. The pyromancer grinned.

"Glad to have been of service."

* * *

"You know, Emmy _did_ tell me Grandpa Valkyrie wrangled a dragon once." Cinder mused. Glynda nodded, chuckling slightly.

"Yes, I've heard the story- he climbed on to the back of a Fafnir, wrenched it by the horns and-"  
"Made it do his bidding." Cinder laughed. "I bet Alexander and Siegfried would have been _frothing_ at the mouth if they'd heard about it when we did this mission..."  
"Telling them would've been a terrible idea." Glynda shook her head. "In all likelihood, they would've _tried_."

"That would've been ridiculously badass, though!" The pyromancer whined. "Why would that be so bad?!"

"You try explaining riding a giant dragon Grimm all the way into Beacon."

"Conventional transports are for weaklings?" Cinder offered helpfully. Glynda facepalmed.

"You act so sane that sometimes, I forget I'm talking to one of the most insane women in all of the Four Kingdoms." The instructor sighed.

Cinder grinned, not even insulted by the epithet. "And proud of it~ Ahah...wait, _Faust_ found your diary?! _Faust_?!"

Glynda blushed, crossing her arms over herself. "I-It was not a proud moment..."  
"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Why _would_ I want to tell you?!"  
"I'm _hurt_, you know!" Her neighbour blanched. "Why wouldn't you trust me?!"

"Because you're Cinder Fall."  
"...that...actually...that makes sense." Cinder conceded. "Still, I _have_ to read on, if only to figure out what Faust did to you in the end...wait, wait, she gave you _love potion_?!"  
"I told her, I didn't have a crush on you!" Glynda snapped. "I didn't need the potion in the first place!"

"And she wanted _you_ to be her wingman?" Cinder laughed, shaking her head and clutching her belly. "That's _rich_! She asked _you_ of all people to be her wingman?! Why?!"

"Because she can keep a secret, and you wouldn't. And I can't _allow _anyone to know."

Glynda and Cinder froze, feeling a chill run down their neck.

"...Cinder...please tell me..." The instructor cringed, slowly turning around.

"...nope, that's her, alright."

Gretchen Faust was peering down at them, her long, brown hair hanging over her foggy glasses as she peered down at the pair with an ominous smile on her face.

"Now, Misses Fall and Goodwitch, _what was that you were saying_?"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Well, tomorrow will be the next chapter, and MAAAAN Cinder and Glynda are screwed. Also, sorry for the late upload- I only got home at seven the day before and I had a terrible headache, forcing me to go to bed earlier than usual.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	59. The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, Part 4!

**Glynda Reacts to Diary of Glynda Goodwitch, Part 4!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for Part 2 of our Beacon Staff Special, with 100% more Gretchen Faust! And yes, more insanity shall ensue. We shall indeed be covering the chapter that came out today, rounding it out to a thirty-five chapters this time around. Let's hope I can get this one out on time, yes?**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a giant chicken Grimm.**

**The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch belongs to ****Half-Blind Otaku****.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"So, Misses Goodwitch and Fall, _what was that you were saying_?" Gretchen Faust, Professor of various subjects, but most specifically Alchemy and Sorcery, seethed, glaring down at the two women.

"G-Gretchen, be reasonable!" Glynda pleaded. "W-we didn't mean any harm by it!"

"T-take my money, my clothes- anything but my burritos, just don't hurt me!" Cinder squealed in fear. Even her fighting prowess was no match for the woman who had taught her how to.

That and she wasn't sure that fire had any effect on people who, supposedly, made deals with _demons_ to look that young.

"Hm...disembowelment seems too swift." Gretchen mused, a slow, sadistic smile growing on her face. "Far too swift. Perhaps I could create a particular spell circle...hm. I know the runes...but I have no ingredients...

...perhaps _death by scaphism_ might be sufficient. Long, slow, painful and simple to ensure. No magic needed, and all I need do is to let insects and vermin do my work for me."

Glynda gulped. "...G-Gretchen, y-you don't need to, err, _harm_ anyone. Nobody needs to die...w-we promise, nobody else will know."

"Y-yeah!" Cinder nodded hurriedly, hoping to not horribly die from whatever _scaphism_ was.

"...your pleas for mercy move me. Very well." Gretchen adjusted her glasses. "It was a shame. I wanted to test out that particular method of execution, but I guess it will have to wait.

In exchange for me not using you as test subjects, I demand to read the diary with you as collateral."

"Another person reading my private diary?!" Glynda snapped. "Not lik-"  
"Glynda!" Cinder hissed. "Just do it! I want to _live_, dammit! I have so much to live for!"

Cinder's desperate pleading and Gretchen's resulting glare changed Glynda's mind. She sighed, acquiescing to her demand.

"Alright, fine."

"I knew we could agree on something." Gretchen's smile widened. To Glynda however, it seemed if anything _scarier_ than when she was plotting their horrible deaths a second before.

"Now, let's get reading, yes? I'm sure reading her diary is fun yes? And we should be doing fun things."

Cinder nodded hurriedly, eager to change the subject from anything that would imply horrible murder. "Y-Yeah, it's fun!" She chuckled nervously, flipping to the next entry.

"Interesting. Even you were taken in by my appearance." Gretchen adjusted her glasses. "Glynda, I am far too old for you, even if I was interested.

And I remember this experience well." She sighed happily. "It was an excellent experiment in social mentality."  
"I still can't believe you forced me to be your wingman for you to attempt to date a _married man_..." Glynda muttered darkly.

"And how was the love potion-"  
"Absolutely useless. N-Not that I used it!" Glynda snapped.

Gretchen gave her a strange look. "So you didn't. Disappointing."

"I have no need for such unholy substances!"

Cinder rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't act so high and mighty. You considered it."  
Glynda crossed her arms, blushing and looking away. "J-Just read the diary, you idiots. I didn't ask you for your moral opinions..."

"Woooow." Cinder whistled. "You even robbed Yin blind in poker. You really are heartless."

Gretchen nodded. "That would be a waste of time. Doubtful that Yin had any significant amount of money."  
"You take issue at the money, but not at the _summoning of a god_?!" Glynda snapped.

Gretchen shrugged. "When done properly, the invocation of a powerful entity can-"

"Y-you know what, I don't care. I don't want to _know_." The instructor shuddered. "Just keep reading, _please_."

Cinder had to hold in a chuckle. "Ahhh, I remember the beauty pageant!"  
"The one _you sabotaged_." Glynda grumbled, still bitter at losing to a ghost at a beauty pageant.

"That was you?" Gretchen looked over at the pyromancer, confused. "I thought-"  
"Yuko was too lazy, and nobody knew she existed." Cinder reminded her, before beginning her indignant retort. "And dammit, I didn't expect her to steal _my_ votes too!"

"No, that part's karma. You deserved that." Glynda reminded her angrily. "What wasn't deserved was that the _rest_ of us lost because teenagers have an overly high libido and let their imagination do the rest when you mentioned Yuko..."

Gretchen nodded, applauding Cinder slowly. "Indeed, although I must admit, that was an excellent experiment."  
Cinder smiled proudly, placing a hand on her heart. "I live to impress, Gretchen...now, let's continue embarrassing our colleague, eh?"  
"Do not attempt to ingratiate yourself with me, Cinder. I'm still keeping your comments in mind." The sorceress glared at her darkly, causing Cinder to swallow nervously.

"O-Of course." The pyromancer nodded. "N-now...l-let's get to the next chapter, eh...

...and Glynda, you dirty cheat! You'd imply I had _hemorrhoids_?!"

"I did what I had to, to allow a sane man to take over the council, to have a semblance of _sanity_!" Glynda protested, glaring at Cinder. "Not like it worked in the first place, all things considered."

"The power of antics will always prevail." The pyromancer. "But _shame_ on you for implying _this_ perfect, sexy body had _hemorrhoids..."_

"I did what I had to." Glynda maintained. "And the next entry shows even slandering your _perfect, sexy _body didn't _work_."  
Gretchen shrugged. "Maybe if you'd made use of Yuko's attractive body for your campaign-"  
"I refuse to sink as low as that! In fact, it's not like it mattered, considering _she_ ended up being _Public Relations officer_!"

Cinder nodded. "Alexander does have an _impressive_ beard. You should've invested in one."

"You're one to talk. You dropped out to protect your own antics!" Glynda snapped, to which the pyromancer merely shrugged. "A girl needs to protect her interests. And you still suck for losing to a ghost~"

Glynda grumbled. "Be quiet, Cinder."

* * *

"...this was a completely pointless venture." Glynda muttered, pointing at the War Department. "I'm glad the current council abolished _that_."  
"A War Department? The council doesn't need that when it has a Mecha Division, an Armor Division and an Antic Research Squad." Cinder pointed out helpfully.

"Which I was asked to supervise." Gretchen added, adjusting her glasses.

Glynda sighed exasperatedly.

"You just_ have _to take that away from me, don't you?"  
"Like I said, I live to impress~"

The instructor exhaled. "Why am I cursed to have co-workers with the collective mental stability of a dying lunatic..."

"Because you love us and you know it." The pyromancer responded with a wide smile on her face. "And the conquest of Signal was a _genius_ idea!"

Glynda rubbed her temples. "Not for the person who had to bankroll it. Namely, _me._"

She flipped the page over, pointing at the page. "Half of the expenses we _spent_ here weren't even _necessary_!"

"Still, you let them happen." Cinder shrugged. "You're as complicit in the antics as us."  
"Tch. Sure I am." Glynda waved her off dismissively. "Don't try to involve me in them retroactively. You know I wanted nothing to do with it."

"You would not have funded them if you did not," Gretchen pointed out helpfully.

"T-this is hardly fair, b-both of you teaming up on me! G-go back to reading the diary already!"

"Alright, Miss Passive-Aggressive, don't get your underwear in a twist." Cinder teased her, as Glynda resisted the urge to throttle her for that.

"Now...maaan, that wasn't really worth the effort, conquering Signal." The pyromancer pointed out. "Why, not enough perversion?" Glynda inquired sarcastically.

"No, too easy."

"...I should've known you'd say something stupid like that."

"Amateurish." Gretchen noted dismissively. "A mere summoning of Cthulhu, I am beyond. I could invoke _Nyarlathothep_ or even _Azazoth_ -"  
"We would prefer you _not_ to." Glynda cautioned her irritably. Gretchen sighed.

"I suppose. That would be very taxing on magical ingredients.

"Summoning a world ending abomination and it's the_ ingredients_ you're worried about..." The instructor muttered under her breath.

'_Then again, I suppose that's to be expected. This __**is**__ Gretchen Faust..._'

"And you're one to talk, bankrolling expensive things! You practically bankrupted yourself with that huge gift!" Cinder remarked. "I appreciate the effort, of course."  
"Pfft. It was nothi-"  
"Although, seriously, you thought Ozpin _drinking eggnog_ was him toasting your beauty? I mean, n-not to say y-you aren't _hot_, but..."  
"I WAS YOUNG AND STUPID!" Glynda snapped. "YOUNG. AND. STUPID."

Gretchen sighed morosely. "And to think I missed out Christmas doing nothing but experiments.

...I suppose I may find a person who understands me one day. As a companion."

Cinder smiled fondly. "Christmas Day itself was nice, though. You have to admit that much, right?"

Glynda sighed, nodding slowly and conceding her point. "True, I'll give you that much. It _was _nice to have you people _not_ commit antics for _one _night and _one_ day."

"See? We have self-control!"  
"Yes. If only you'd exercise it _more_."

* * *

"Pffthaahaha!" Cinder laughed. "Here, I remember you had the constitution of a baby kitten."  
"W-we weren't even _allowed_ alcoholic punch!" Glynda reminded her. "What were you _thinking_?!"  
"Having fun, that's what." The pyromancer reminded her happily. "Isn't that right, Gretchen...Gretchen?"

The sorceress seemed to have disappeared, with a faint crying noise behind them. Cinder frowned. "Huh. She must've had to check on something." The pyromancer shrugged. "Anyway...oh yeah, Snow Day! Those were good times!"

"Indeed." Glynda nodded hurriedly. "Let's hurry up with-"  
"So you DID do that thing to Yin! See? You have a _Yin fetish_."

"I do NOT have one and I never had one!" Glynda snapped, blushing and shaking her head. "That is _entirely a _construct of your imagination, p-pervert!"

"You say _I'm _the pervert, but who keeps acting like a creepy stalker to Yin? Glass houses, dear-"  
"Those were just over ten years ago!" Glynda cut her off irritably. "K-keep reading!"

Cinder chuckled, shaking her head at her friend.

'_At this point, she'll give herself an aneurysm with all this denial...' _The pyromancer mused as she flipped the page.

Glynda only realised what was on the entry when Cinder's expression twisted into a mischievous smile.

"Oh, _Glynda_...so _that's_ what happened to the love potion, eh?"

"...I-It was a younger time, and I-I was foolish!"

Cinder smirked. "This diary just keeps getting better and better..."

"I-Idiot..." Glynda muttered, blushing profusely. "I-It _was_ your fault for spilling the stupid thing..."  
"My antic sense told me to. It was funny, and I even got an admirer out of the deal." The pyromancer shrugged.

_Meanwhile..._

Emerald Sustrai, one-half of popular Beacon J-pop imitation duo Madrigal and ex-thief, sobbed over a movie where two women were kissing, eating scoop after scoop of chocolate ice cream.

"R-Real life doesn't work like that!" The thief cried, hugging a Cinder plushie to herself as she pined after her. "...C-Cinder-sempai never noticed me..."

_Back onto the bus..._

"Tch." Cinder scoffed. "Miho shouldn't have beaten us. We should really get our actual Tankery team to fight 'em. With that tank whiz Gunther in charge of development and Valkyrie in command, I don't think we'd lose again."

Glynda rolled her eyes. "Miho and her team must be what, our age now? I doubt they'd still be running Tankery battles still."  
"Not if the rumours around Tankery Club here are true." The pyromancer shrugged. "Supposedly, she invited the Vasilias boy over for coffee.

Boy's got an eye for Tankery, even if he's not officially allowed to do it himself."

* * *

"I see how it is!" Cinder yelled. "So you get to boot _us_ out of the dorm to watch Magical Momo, but we don't get to kick you out for anything?!"  
"M-Magical Momo was a work of art!" Glynda retorted sharply. "You were probably just going to do some stupid antic or something."  
"Not everything I do involves antics, dammit!"

"Xiao Long uses the exact same excuse and if I recall, you _let _her get away with it!"

Cinder scoffed. "She does her schoolwork, so I let her do what she likes."

"I don't approve of having _fifty boxes of pizza, billed to me and delivered to my front door_ every Friday." The instructor adjusted her glasses, irritated at the amount of times she'd had to deal with Schnee Pizza Go-Go about the various transactions placed under her name.

Cinder looked somewhat wounded at being kicked out of her dorm for an anime, but she sighed. "Well, at least you got locked into a box of ice for that, you _monster_. It's the least you deserve for kicking us out of the dorm..." She flipped the page.

"...and bankrupting everyone else, too!"

"In my defence, I would've been able to concentrate if you hadn't distracted me while I tried to enjoy my good and wholesome magical girl shows!" Glynda snapped. Cinder shrugged.

"Not my problem. It wasn't me who did it in the first place. And you even looked for pin-ups of me? That's deep."

Glynda's face merely turned a deep shade of crimson. Cinder giggled.

"You don't need to hide it, dear, I know I'm sexy~"  
"S-shut up."

...

"Oh, _Glynda_." Cinder shook her head, chuckling. "I want a _lot_ of people~"  
"K-keep your mouth shut." The instructor barked. "Y-you fools set me up with Ironwood."  
"In our defence, those were the times before Lia and Dear-me started screwing like bunnies." Cinder shrugged, causing Glynda to stare at her, blanching. "What? I thought everyone knew."  
"I-I didn't!"

"Well, it wasn't as if _Lia Nikos_ was going to keep her hands off of _the guy with the mythical love curse_, was she?" The pyromancer protested, facepalming. "Seriously. How else do you explain Pyrrha?"

Glynda muttered irritably at the next entry.

"They teach us to fight Grimm and evil Huntsmen. They _don't_ teach us to fight _idiotic amateur necromancers who don't know any restraint_."

"Fight fire with fire." Cinder shrugged. "Only way to survive in our dog-eat-dog world, eh?

"You'd know all about that."

"So I would~" Cinder shrugged. "Also, the fact that we managed to follow up the necromancy crap with a moe-zombie apocalypse..."

"Which you ended up getting caught in and _indirectly causing_-"

"It's not like you didn't appreciate all the moe Yin cleavage you-"  
"CINDER!" Glynda snapped. "What are you insinuating?!"

"Don't play coy with me," Cinder tutted, shaking her head at her neighbour. "We've already established that you have a Yin fetish, don't lie, you _know_ you wanted to see her dressed like that~"

"Or perhaps it was simply necessary to protect herself from the horrors of cuteness-obsessed zombies." Gretchen interjected. "Not everything is necessarily related to sexual urges, Cinder."

The pyromancer scoffed. "I beg to differ. Only you-"

"You would be incorrect." Gretchen raised her finger. "I have found a person that I might find a close approximation of primal lust for."

Glynda looked incredulously at her. "And who might _that_ unfortunate man be?"

The sorceress' cheeks turned slightly red. "His identity need not be known. "

_Last week..._

"She's been staring at that guy for five hours straight!" An unfortunate cashier at the local Schnee _Wurstbude_ in Vale's shopping center complained, as Gretchen, if it was possible for whatever she was, stared dreamily at a tall, inhumanly thin, faceless humanoid in a dapper suit, who was simply buying a small meal for himself in the cafeteria, while horrifying the poor woman in charge of the sandwich stall.

The next door Schnee Pizzeria vendor nodded. "I know, right? Seriously. Who is that guy?"

"He's a regular here." The _Wurstbude_ cashier explained. "Goes by the name 'Slen D. Mann.' Guys call him the Slender Man, or something, but I don't buy.

The _real _Slendy's thinner, anyway. I've seen the games."

"Just what kind of a woman would be Slendysexual?" The delivery boy shuddered at the thought.

The aforementioned Slen D. Mann turned around to see Gretchen staring at him dreamily, before she waved at him with a breathy sigh.

He was gone in a blink. The sorceress looked disappointed as she sat back down, returning to toying with her fingers shyly.

"Tch. Women, I'll never understand 'em." The delivery boy sighed.

"I just feel sorry for Slen, Slendy or not. Supposedly that woman over there works up in Beacon with demons or something."  
"Sheesh. Poor guy."

_Back on the bus..._

"...woooow. Seriously, how were you so blind to the whole _you got used by Momo_ thing?" Cinder inquired quizzically.

Glynda merely crossed her arms, sulking off in a corner. "In my defence, s-she was _unaware_!"  
"If _Lia freaking Nikos_ is telling you she's bad news, then _you should listen_."

Gretchen nodded. "Indeed, the pessimistic tend to have excellent insights into situations-"  
"I don't need your input, Faust. I don't need to be reminded of my stupid adolescent urges..."

"Oh, oh! Physical Examinations! And you _sneaky_ minx!" Cinder chuckled at Glynda. "Seriously, a _slipped bra strap_?!"  
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"  
The pyromancer rolled her eyes dismissively. "Desperate. Seriously, you need a date, considering you're _still_ that desperate."  
"A person can be professional without romance in their life!" Glynda protested.

"Yep, Beth and Tukson prove that just fine." Cinder admitted. "You're just a womanchild at heart. At least I admit it."

"I have nothing to admit, _Fall_."

"Oh, look, the _next_ chapter!" Cinder declared. "You _still_ have a Yin fetish!"

Glynda crossed her arms, indignant. "Huge cleavage runs in her family! You've _seen_ Yang, right?"

"And the fact that you _still_ ignored Lia's advice just because Momo is cuter than the love child of Madoka and Squid Girl doesn't prove anything?"  
"That was _years _ago!"  
"You're not that old."

Gretchen snatched the diary from Cinder's hands and flipped through it. "If you two are quite done squabbling, I intend to read this diary further myself.

Now..." She flipped to the next entry. "...hurm. I don't see why you felt the need to deny that Fruits Basket was inappropriate."  
"A-all I said was it was _art_! I denied _nothing_!" Glynda roared, shaking her head rigorously.

"I'm more shocked by the fact you mentioned Fruits Basket and Wizards of Romance in the same breath." Cinder said reproachfully, shaking her head sadly.

"Ahh...I remember this duel..." Gretchen nodded slowly. "Miss Branwen was disappointed to have lost to her less serious cousin.

If she had not wasted time with her obsession with honor, perhaps she may have won."  
"Yes." Cinder nodded. "Seriously, she takes things too seriously. All 'honor' and 'skill' and stuff.

Such wasted talent. She could've joined the dark side of antics."  
"Thankfully, she didn't. "Glynda sighed in relief. "That would've probably signalled the end times..."

* * *

Cinder blanched. "Seriously, even _Lia_?!"

"I-I just wanted to be her friend! I-I wasn't going to try _anything_!"

Gretchen shook her head. "If only you hadn't wasted your love potion, eh? Maybe you might have succeeded."  
"I-I'm telling you, I wasn't going to do that to her! Besides, I felt that she needed friends at the time!" Glynda shook her head. "Honestly, not everything I do is triggered by lust, unlike _some_ people."

Cinder sighed. "You haven't changed a bit.

Eh. We didn't even get to see them making out, either."

"Indeed." The instructor nodded slowly, before looking up. "N-Not that I wanted it to happen! Or wanted to see them do it, o-or anything!

"Slendy-sexual..." Gretchen twitched. "...I'll need to pay a visit to Miss Nikos after this trip."  
"Huh?" Cinder scratched her head. "Slendy-se-you know, I don't want to know."  
"I don't think I want to either. "Glynda grumbled. "Just keep reading. At least I had the foresight to hide the _other _volumes from you."

"Oh, I'll find them, don't worry about that~" The pyromancer stated with a smirk. "Don't you worry about that."

...

"_Wow_." Cinder stared at her friend in disbelief. "_Chieri_?! I mean, I know she's got the figure of a goddess, but she's not _that_ hot.

You seriously went into the Tournament just to get a kiss from her..."

"G-grah! W-what does it matter, I lost the Festival anyway!" Glynda snapped irritably. "I still can't believe _Kotomi_ beat me..."

Gretchen frowned. "But is it not, as Ozpin claims, the privilege of merely having fought and proven oneself in the arena the beauty of the Cockerel Festival in the first place?"

Cinder and Glynda both stared at her.

"Gretchen, are you entirely sane?"  
"That doesn't sound like our Gretchen."

"...disappointing. My attempt to appeal to emotion backfired." The sorceress mused. "It was at least worth a shot."

"Alright." Cinder announced. "The last page of this _ridiculously_ long diary-seriously, Glynda, only people who _expect to have their diaries written_ or _boring people_ have diaries this long!"

"Well, clearly I'm having it read, so at least I prepared for that." Glynda muttered drily.

"Oh, right, your eighteenth birthday!" Cinder laughed. "I still owe you birthday spanks."  
"Y-you are not giving those to me! I am a grown woman, and so are you! And anyway, the statute of limitations-"  
"Can go screw itself." Cinder giggled, advancing upon Glynda, her hands extended, lust filling her eyes when-

"Ladies, we're here." Ozpin announced calmly from the aisle, drinking a thermos of coffee. Glynda blanched.

"O-Ozpin?!"  
"And Glynda, please save such...ahem, _affairs_ for the beach house." The headmaster requested."Now, if you excuse me, I'll be helping unpack our bags."

He walked off, calmly drinking his coffee. Cinder had a huge smirk on her face.

"Busted."

"CINDER FALL" Glynda screamed, half-embarrassed, half-confused. "WHY"

"Because it's fun~"

Needless to say, this was merely the start of many embarrassments for Glynda that vacation.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat! Huge shout out to ****Half-Blind Otaku, ****who wrote the Diary, and ****Little Sun Dragon-Chan****, a good friend of mine on here who's recently come back from hiatus, and I wish her all the best in writing!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, criticisms and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	60. The Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat, Part 1

**The Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, an announcement- due to my tireless chase for justice (by which I mean pathetic pleading over on DeviantArt), we will be reacting to ****PsyInti's**** Death Battle: RWBY Battle Royale and ****oobidoobi's**** Paternal Messages series. A shoutout to both of the creators for letting me do their stories!**

**And now that's settled, let's watch the staff make a complete and utter fool of themselves!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Beacon would have an Atlesian Paladin nicknamed 'Wuffles'.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Wow." Cinder whistled as she dropped her bags on the wooden patio of the beach house they'd taken out. "Ozzie, you _really_ pulled out all the stops here, didn't you?"  
Ozpin smiled. "If I'm going to give my valued comrades a holiday, then I may as well. Alexander said he wanted someone to watch over his property for him anyway."

Indeed, the Arcs- or rather, Alexander Arc- owned a sizeable stretch of Vale's coast, enough for a small group of people to spend their days comfortably living here. This beach was where Andreas and Yona Arc, Jaune's parents, had spent their honeymoon, where Siegfried and Freya Schnee had spent their honeymoon and where Alexander had once tested out an amphibious model of the Schnee Endlave series, back when the Endlave series was still the mecha produced by the Schnee Dust Company.

The beach itself was pristine, with shiny white sand almost devoid of rocks, pebbles or litter, shining as brightly as the clear ocean for miles beyond the coast. Only several small buoys in the distance delineated the border between Arc property and international waters. To the east was a small coastal cave, hidden by trees and foliage.

The beach house itself was large enough to hold Ozpin and his small party of eight or nine, built from well-carved stone and propped up on elegantly carved pillars, with Valean oak floors and furniture handmade by the finest crafters in all of the Four Kingdoms. For all his flaws, Alexander Arc was a master of interior design.

A fact Cinder was very appreciative of.

"So, Ozzie." The pyromancer took up the whole of one of the red couches in the living room, surrounding a coffee table and standing in front of a large Schnee Electronics flatscreen TV. "What's our itinerary?"  
Glynda raised an eyebrow. "You're asking for an itinerary?"  
"Well, I didn't exactly bring my antic gear with me." Cinder shrugged. Glynda gave her an incredulous look, disbelieving.

"..._fine_, I brought _some_ of it." Cinder sighed irritably, as a surprised squeal from Tohru sounded from outside, followed by who sounded like Professor Port rushing to help her up. "Sheesh, Glynda. You could cut me some slack. We _are_ on vacation, after all."

"I think reading my diary reminded me exactly of what kind of person you are." The instructor muttered darkly.

Ozpin, meanwhile, was flipping through a small pocketbook, frowning slightly. "Alright. We're here for three days. Today's a free day, but tomorrow, we will be heading out to the local town for a short tour of the historical landmarks, followed by dinner at the finest restaurant in the area. The last day will probably be spent going around the countryside before arriving back at Beacon at around eight in the evening."

"The beach?" Gretchen blanched. "No thank you. I don't like the sun."

"Gretchen, we dragged you out here because you spend all your time in that _pit_ you call a laboratory." Cinder remarked. "If you're not going to join us-"

Gretchen gave her a murderous glare. "I. Don't. Like. The. Sun."

"One word, Gretchen.

Slendy." She grinned.

Gretchen froze. "...you wouldn't _dare-_"  
"Oh, I don't know. Would I? You know me, dear, you taught me for four years and work with me."

Gretchen crossed her arms, blushing slightly.

"...fine. You are triumphant for now, Cinder."

"Yesss-"

"But," The sorceress adjusted her glasses in such a manner as to cause a chill to run down Cinder's spine. "I will repay this slight."

Ozpin took a sip from his coffee thermos. "Girls, this isn't the place for arguments.

Alexander has had an arena installed somewhere on the grounds, so I'm told."

Glynda rubbed her temples. "...you said we were going to relax on this vacation, correct?"  
"Yes." Ozpin nodded. "That is indeed why we went out here."  
The instructor looked over at Gretchen, who was smiling evilly and flipping through a book of what she assumed were dark magicks of the sort only found in books bound in human skin and written in languages that defiled the reader's mind on sight.

"I somehow doubt we'll be able to relax."

"Why?"  
"Just a feeling." Glynda muttered irritably.

* * *

_Later..._

The faculty had finally loaded their bags into the house- Professor Port had to be persuaded to not uncage his beloved Edgar immediately- and had now separated off into groups. Professor Port and Oobleck had headed off to find the Arena with Yona and Ozpin, while Glynda, Cinder, Tohru and Gretchen had opted for the beach.

Glynda adjusted her dress slightly. She was wearing a small sundress- purple, as usual- with a straw hat to match-she didn't intend to swim, after all, and the only consolation to waterproofing she'd provided were her azure, floral pattern rubber slippers.

The instructor slipped on a pair of sunglasses and strode out of the beach house, carrying a beach mat and umbrella under her arms.

"...hopefully, I can catch a few minutes of peace before the inevitable chaos." Glynda quietly hoped, before strolling onto the warm sand. She laid her mat out several paces from the water, before propping her umbrella up behind it with the shade over the mat. Stretching her arms, the instructor then lay across it, slipping her footwear off and placing it next to her before looking around to ensure Cinder hadn't arrived yet.

Sighing, Glynda pulled out the latest reprint of _Wizards of Romance Volume Fifteen-_ or the one where Anton and Brigid were trapped in a cave in the frost surrounded by evil frost wolves, forcing them to keep warm by any means possible.

It was _completely_ tasteful. Glynda muttered 'this is art' under her breath, blushing as she opened up to the last page she had been on.

"_Oh, Anton..._" _Brigid moaned out, as Anton's warm wandering hands placed themselves upon her naked back._

"_Brigid..." Anton whispered into her ear. "I hope you...don't mind. I need to keep you warm by any means possible."_

_Brigid gasped slightly at the sensation of his hands. "A-Anton...b-be gentle with me..."  
"I...will do my best, but I just cannot resist your-_"

"M-Miss Fall!" Tohru's embarrassed squeals pierced the tranquillity of the beach and caused Glynda's head to shoot up.

"Relax, Tohru. You have to loosen up a bit! It's a beach!"  
"B-But this...t-this is indecent!"  
"Oh _come of it_."

Glynda swallowed.

'_So much for reading in peace. I should've known better_.'

She craned her head around to look at what shenanigans Cinder was placing the poor girl under.

Cinder herself, as expected, was in a two-piece swimsuit- red and flame-patterned, as expected of her- that left very little to the imagination, with a lot of Cinder's pale, smooth skin exposed-

Glynda shook her head hurriedly, trying to erase the image from her eyes.

'_I-It's not as if C-Cinder looks that nice anyway_...' She reassured herself, before looking to her unfortunate victim.

Tohru was standing next to the pyromancer, her knees knocked together and her face incredibly red, as she was stuffed in a similarly skimpy swimsuit in light blue, again leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

"_Cinder_." Glynda intoned. "What is the _meaning_ of this?!"

"I just wanted Tohru here to live a little." Cinder shrugged. "Honestly, it's like showing off a little skin will kill a person."

"T-this is so...embarrassing..." Tohru squeaked out. Cinder rolled her eyes.

"Oh please. Your boyfriend will _love_ this!"

Glynda's eyes narrowed. "Just let the poor girl get something to cover herself before she dies of embarrassment."

"But-"  
"Cinder!"  
"Fine." The pyromancer pouted, but complied. "Go get yourself something like a towel."

"O-Okay!" The girl rushed back in, before giving Glynda a grateful nod.

Glynda sighed, adjusting her sunglasses. "Cinder, why do you insist on shoving Miss Honda into skimpy clothing?"  
"Well, you complain when I do it to you!" Cinder whined. "So, I found myself another victim!"  
"...that's not what I meant when I told you to stop doing it. I meant you stop doing it _period_, not stop doing it _to me_."

The pyromancer put her hands on her hips. "Well, that's hardly _fun_, is it?!"

"I don't think the rest of the world shares your belief about what's fun or not."

Cinder pouted. "Well, the rest of the world can go get stuffed! Now, I'm going to go into the water. You coming with?"

"No thank you." Glynda picked up her book. "I would rather-"

Her hand was rather suddenly grabbed by the pyromancer as she was bodily dragged into the water.

"C-Cinder! Let me go!" Glynda protested.

Cinder grinned. "Oh come on, Glynda! The shade's not good for you! You're not getting enough Vitamin D!"

"I-I am not dressed for this!" The instructor complained.

"Oh, so what are you going to do, read your porn?"

"Wizards of Romance is _ART_! _Art, not porn!_"  
"When I find the first book in that series that has less than one scene where Anton or Brigid or someone isn't doing something indecent, then I'll believe you." Cinder remarked drily. "Now, get into the water!"

She pushed Glynda bodily into the water, drenching her entirely and causing her sundress to cling to her body.

"G-gah!" The instructor yelped in surprise. "T-that's cold!"  
Cinder, meanwhile, giggled. "Oh dear. Glynda, you _have_ been keeping your figure fit, haven't you? You're the perfect mix of curves and muscle, and your _chest_, oh my-"

Glynda crossed her arms over her considerable chest. "D-don't talk like that! P-Pervert!"

"It's true!" Cinder smirked, licking her lips. "Besides, _don't you like it_? I saw how you stared at me~"  
"N-not like that! I-I don't find you a-attractive!" Glynda snapped. Cinder merely tackled her into the water.

"Heehee...large chest~"

"G-Get off of me!"

"Glyndaaaaa! D-don't be a meanie!"

Both of them, however, were interrupted by a massive, demonic-looking eel popping out of the water behind them, its head protected by the tell-tale bone mask characteristic of Grimm creatures.

"GRAAAAH!"  
Cinder screamed in shock, hauling Glynda up to protect herself.

"T-Take her instead! I'm an innocent virgin! I have to live my life to the fullest!"

Glynda looked incredulously at her. "You _scoff_ at the word virgin! P-put me down!"

Cinder shook her head hurriedly. "Y-you do something! You're the witch!"  
"You're a grown woman and a Huntress!"

"My fire powers don't work in water!"

"GRARGHL" The demonic eel leapt out of the water and coiled itself around Cinder tightly.

"G-get off of me!" The pyromancer yelped. "Get this fish off of me!"

Glynda fell back onto the wet sand, looking at the spectacle.

"...where did that thing even-" She paused, her eyes settling on an evilly-laughing Gretchen, chuckling to herself as she directed the creature with several hand gestures, going incomprehensibly fast.

She was too far away to hear the words coming from her mouth, but Glynda could've sworn she was muttering something about 'revenge' or something of the sort.

"...you know what, I'm going to go see what the people in the arena are doing."

"G-Glynda!" Cinder squealed. "D-don't leave me here with Gretchen! P-please!"

Glynda sighed, without turning around as she walked towards the arena. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Remember to play nice!"  
"GLYNDA!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, in the arena..._

"Aha!" Port whipped out his infamous weapon, the blunderbuss-axe Skullbreaker and fired a single shot out of it, which was batted back at him by Oobleck with his own thermos-bat cannon. The reflected shot flew over Port's head, barely ruffling his hair.

"Excellent shot, my friend!" Port laughed uproariously. Oobleck merely adjusted his glasses.

"Shot was not calculated properly. Need to be careful next time." Oobleckt muttered. "Could have taken head off."

Yona sighed, bored, leaning next to her massive railgun-sniper rifle hybrid, as she watched the two men fool around.

"Are we going to do a three-way duel soon or are you guys going to play baseball with a blunderbuss?"

Ozpin sighed, chuckling. "Just let them. They haven't had the time to do this in a long while."

Glynda stumbled into the small arena, still dripping water from when Cinder had pushed her in.

The arena was nothing special, simply a sizeable square of dust somewhere within the distance of the beach house, surrounded by metal fences and a field of Dust negation to ensure no blasts left the limit of the arena. It wasn't meant to withstand the likes of Giga Drill Breaks or Megidolaons, but as neither Blake nor Minako were present, that was no issue. It was a passable arena, so long as the fighters kept it light and fair.

"Glynda, you appear to be a little moist." Ozpin remarked drily.

Glynda shot him a glare. "You think so?"  
"Cinder?"  
"I'd ask how you guessed, but-"

"Ah! Glynda!" Port called out. "Hello! Would you like to join us for a little fight?"

"We've been waiting for Ozpin here to finish his coffee." Yona said, sparing her employer a glance. "But since he loves his coffee and won't finish it-"  
"Coffee needs to be enjoyed." Ozpin stated proudly. "Simply drinking it in one gulp would be a waste."

"Tasting coffee inefficient. Reduces speed." Oobleck commented hastily. "Better to quickly take huge gulps. More caffeine."

"It seems you and I view coffee very differently." Ozpin sighed. "Well, Glynda?"

Glynda nodded slowly. She really needed the exercise, anyway. It'd been a long time since she'd had a proper fight herself.

"Sure. That sounds better than being drenched by Cinder."

Port laughed. "Then let's get a move on then!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Yes, the staff are going to be fighting next chapter. And it will...probably...be bad. Or awesome. Or both.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	61. The Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat, Part 2

**The Beacon Staff Holiday Retreat, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for the fight you guys may have not been waiting for- the staff! Since they missed it out during the Cockerel Festival, sadly, I decided to put one in here. Because why not, it makes sense.**

**Anyway, let's do this!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise we'd have more staff v staff sparring in canon (seriously, I want to know what Ozpin's weapon and Semblance are, and it better be something awesome).**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Glynda, Port and Oobleck took their positions on the arena. Yona had declined to join in, on the basis that the arena was far too small for her to be able to make use of her weapon or Semblance, making it unfair for her to participate in such a battle, while Ozpin merely smiled enigmatically and continued to enjoy his coffee. Yona had elected to make up for it by being the arbitrator of the fight.

"Ahahah!" Port roared, hefting his massive blunderbuss-axe on his shoulder. "Are you sure you don't wish to go back for your crop, dear Glynda?"  
"I'm fine." Glynda adjusted her glasses and sunhat, before assuming a combat stance, taking the crop out from within her dress, patting it with her hands.

She hadn't had a good fight in a long while. And without the potential of antics from Cinder, this was going to be a nice, fair battle royale.

_Perfect_.

Oobleck merely extended his thermos-bat, studying his two opponents closely, adjusting his glasses as he quickly tapped his foot in anticipation.

"Speed up. Must fight. Right now is best opportunity. Still running on caffeine rush." He noted tersely. "Let's go."

Port chuckled. "My, Oobleck. You're rather quick to demand defeat, are you not?"  
Glynda scoffed dismissively. "Peter, you seem to forget, I won the last time we fought like this. Perhaps we shouldn't be getting too hasty ourselves."

"Ah, dear Glynda, but that was months ago! Perhaps I can beat you right now, eh?"

Ozpin merely smirked.

"Let's not get overconfident, Peter."

"Ahah!" The portly man readied himself for battle, glaring down at Glynda as intimidatingly as possible. "Even you doubt me! I'll just have to prove myself!"

Yona sighed. "Okay, guys, enough bragging. Let's get fighting, yeah? Last person to stay up wins. Are we all ready?"

Port patted his axe. "Whenever you're ready!"

Glynda cracked her knuckles in anticipation. "Indeed."

Oobleck's weapon set itself aflame. "Indeed. Get it done. Time for coffee later. Collaboration with Gretchen on magic will come later."

Yona smiled.

"Alright! Let's go!"

The moment those words left Yona's mouth, Oobleck was already in mid-stride, surging towards Glynda, club extended. The witch met his onslaught with a snap of her crop, causing a purple barrier of Dust to surge forth in front of her, pushing Oobleck back. In response, the speedster responded with a blast of fire from his thermos, which Glynda hurriedly cartwheeled out of the way of, landing perfectly on her hands.

"Ohoho!" Port aimed his blunderbuss at Glynda's side. "It seems you've left yourself open, dear!"  
With a spirited laugh, the hunter fired several hard pellets of Dust at her, which were similarly met with purple blasts from Glynda's crop, the meeting of the projectiles causing miniature explosions i mid-air, like firecrackers going off.

"Not so open." Glynda retorted. "You should be more careful about your declarations, Peter."

"Ach! You and your wizardry." Port stepped back, gathering for another barrage. "Oobleck!"

"Understood."

Glynda drew breath and turned to see the green-haired man charging up a massive fireball, staring at her impassively as he did so. With a calm movement across towards him, she braced herself to face the attack head on.

Without so much as a taunt, Oobleck fired his weapon, sending a blast of fire straight into Glynda.

Glynda's response was swift.

With a deft hand movement, she flicked her crop forward, causing a trail of violet sparkles to shoot out and make contact with the fireball in the air, stopping it and enshrouding it in a cage of purple energy, before spinning it about herself and hurling it back at Oobleck, who speedily dodged it and readied to fire once more.

Yona blinked, shocked at the speed of which they'd exchanged blows. "...I...I just blinked.

I guess I forgot how fast you guys actually fought."

"Fast." Oobleck noted. "Not faster than me."

He flicked a switch on his thermos, before unleashing a veritable wall of flames at his compatriot.

"Statistical chance of dodging that barrage- none."  
"Let's see about that." Glynda grinned, before flicking her crop up, unleashing a multitude of purple sparkles, catching each fireball in their tracks.

Oobleck's mouth hung open in shock.

"Still convinced?" The instructor retorted with a smirk.

"...impossible." The green-haired man muttered.

"No. Not really."

With a loud yell, Glynda hurled all the caught fireballs down at him. They tore blazing trails through the air, raining down upon their progenitor with malevolent speed.

"Much regrets. Should've taken coffee without milk this morning." Oobleck muttered, before readying his thermos to deflect the barrage.

Suddenly, with dizzying speed, the man's arms began to move quicker than anyone's eyes could process, making short work of batting each fireball away, his arms and weapon a blur of grey and green to onlookers and the flames now a dazzling wall soaring towards Glynda and smashing straight into her, covering her and the surrounding ground in smoke.

Yona cringed, looking concernedly at the area where the witch had been standing. "...oooow. Glynda?"  
"Medical aid might be required." Oobleck commented quickly. "Port and I will finish this fight quickly."

Even Peter stood stunned at the feat, propping up on his axe for a moment as he watched the smoke cloud slowly drift away from where it had hit Glynda, before being shocked out of his daze.

"...m-me, lose easily?" Port laughed, dismissive of the thought. "Let's settle it now-"

"Wait." Ozpin held up his finger, as the smoke dispersed. "I wouldn't be so hasty as to call it right here, eh?"

Glynda was unscathed in the middle, a small island in the crater caused by the explosion bearing her and protected by an orb of purple energy, which flickered out of existence the moment she deemed it safe.

She stood up, dusting herself off.

"Is that all you have, you two?" The instructor taunted her two co-workers. "I'm frankly disappointed.

Come on, I know you've got-"  
"Oh, GLYNDAAAA~"

Glynda blanched.

"Oh, good Du-"

"GLYNDA!"

Suddenly appearing from the ground and phasing through the dirt, the ex-ghost and current Professor of Supernatural Studies, Yuko Kanoe glomped Glynda, pressing her face into her chest and rubbing her cheeks tightly into it. "GLYNDAAAA~"

Oobleck and Port both stared at her.

"Where did she come from?" Peter muttered, shocked.

Yona turned to Ozpin. "Did we take her on the trip?" The headmaster nodded, sighing with a chuckle.

"Indeed."

"G-get off of me!" Glynda screeched. "P-pervert! Get your face out of my chest!"

"So...soft..." Yuko sighed happily, pressing her head into her chest. "Sooooft-oh dear."  
"W-We're falling!" Glynda yelped, before they fell into the crater.

"Glynda! So soft...Glynda?" Yuko looked worried. "Glynda...oh dear.

I may have knocked her out."

Oobleck exhaled, exasperated. "Disappointing. I was rather looking forward to a better battle than that."

Port sighed, hefting his axe up and slinging it on his back. "Ah...Miss Kanoe. Was that really necessary?"

"I like to appreciate nice figures when I see them." The girl explained, giggling. "Like dear Glynda's!

Err...can we get her to someone who knows first aid?"

* * *

Glynda groaned, feeling a towel on her forehead as she woke up.

"Ugh...Yuko..." The instructor muttered, irritated. "Idiot..."

"Ah. You're awake." Cinder sighed, sitting on an armchair opposite her with a grin. She was now clad in a flame-patterned red sundress, complementing Glynda's purple sundress. "You're welcome."

"...what happened?" Glynda rubbed her temple, looking up at her. "Wait. Don't tell me Yuko knocked me out..."  
"You've been out since yesterday." The pyromancer sighed, shaking her head sadly. "You're a lightweight, you know."

Glynda clenched her fists, growling. "Yuko...t-that perverted moron."  
"Personally, I'm jealous she got a piece of you~" Cinder giggled mischievously.

"N-not the point! I've been knocked out since yesterday!"

"Yeah, yeah. Gretchen patched you up anyway. She's a good doctor, y'know." The pyromancer explained. "Also, I took the liberty of bathing you."  
"Y-YOU BATHED ME?!" The instructor yelped, blushing. "Y-you pervert! W-what did you do to me?!"

"Nothing. I just washed you up." Cinder sighed. "Sheesh. You're not _that_ attractive. And I'm not that perverted."

"...i-idiot. " Glynda turned away, blushing profusely.

"As I said, you're _welcome_."

"Hey." Yona poked her head in. "If you're done flirting, we're about ready to head off to the countryside.

Glynda, we saved some pastries for you in case you wanted breakfast."

Glynda sighed irritably. "This is ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.

Where's Yuko?"  
"She's asleep on the bus." Cinder explained. "You can save your revenge for later. We'd rather not be splattering blood all over the bus.

It's on rent."

The instructor's eyes narrowed. "You shouldn't be scared of Gretchen at this point.

_I'm_ going to utterly _obliterate_ that girl..."

* * *

_Minutes later, on the bus..._

"Glynda-ow!- I know you're mad! But-ow!-come on! It-ow!-was only harmless!" Yuko cowered under the slaps the instructor was administering.

"You moron! You got me knocked out with your perversion!"

Yona was trying to wrench Glynda off of her. "Hey! Stop! Calm down!"

Cinder, meanwhile, was munching on a burrito and watching the brutal revenge. "Dear Dust. She hits like a truck when she's angry."

"Such assault is inefficient." Gretchen noted pragmatically. "It would be easier to simply strap her into a table and apply sufficient force."

"...sufficient force? Gretchen, we're not _torturing_ her."

"It would be much better than allowing her to escape revenge."

Ozpin merely sipped his coffee in the front of the bus, turning to the back. "Glynda, try not to get carried away.

Also...we're at our first landmark of the day. We're stopping the bus here."

Yuko sighed in relief. "Thank-ow!-Dust! I might-ow!-escape suffering!"

Glynda finally relented, grumbling. "I suppose I'll...let you go. For now.

We are having a talk about this when we get back to the beachhouse."

Gretchen looked outside through the bus windows. "That landmark..."

"...Gretchen, what are you thinking?" Cinder poked her shoulder. "Gretchen? _Gretchen_?!"

"I have to do something." The sorceress shoved the pyromancer roughly out of the way and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Oh Dust. Ozpin." Cinder called over to the front. "Ozpin!"

Glynda looked over to her. "Cinder, what's going on?"  
"Gretchen's going to do something _really_ stupid and it involves that landmark. What _is_ it anyway?"  
"It's reputed to be where the First Huntsmen slew his first Grimm." Port explained, looking over to Oobleck to continue.

"First Grimm slain. Zodiac class. Mus-type Grimm." The historian added. "Very rare type of Grimm. Estimated to be only three or so in existence at this moment."

Ozpin sighed. "Well, we'd better hurry up and-"

"SKREEEOOOONK!"

"Yes." Gretchen's ecstatic cries could be heard from outside, causing the faculty to look over to the landmark itself.

The landmark was marked by an ancient granite statue, with what looked like a Huntsman hefting a club, beating in the head of a rodent-like giant Grimm sticking out from a multitude of similar looking heads. Gretchen was standing in front of it, looking upon a spell circle marked with lit candles and drawn with a dried red substance that Glynda hoped wasn't blood.

Emerging from the circle was a giant flailing tentacle from some indeterminately ancient being. Gretchen was laughing maniacally at it.

"Excellent! Such magical energies, gathered in such a spot of significance..." The sorceress declared. "...Let it begin! LET IT BEGIN!"

Glynda's eyes narrowed. "Well...I suppose desecrating a historical site wasn't on the itinerary?"  
Ozpin sighed. "I guess...we'll have to call the rest of the trip off." He sipped some coffee from one of his mugs. "...the occupants of the nearby town will not be happy that one of our faculty members summoned what looks to be an extradimensional entity into the world."

Port laughed uproariously, taking out his blunderbuss-axe. "Well, it looks like we finally get a good fight!

Come on, even if our vacation ends here, at least we can have a good fight, eh?"  
Glynda exhaled, pulling out her riding crop and standing up.

'_Why can't I have a little peace around here_...'

Needless to say, after the staff managed to finally cast the abomination back to where it belonged, there was a lot of reprimanding to be done to Gretchen, and the holiday was ended quickly before the nearby village formed a mob to chase after them.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: And with that, the holiday got ended prematurely. Sad times. Also, because I kinda ran out of ideas as to how to continue this. Sorry, guys. **

**Well, next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Five Nights at Freddy's! This ought to be interesting at least.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	62. Weiss Reacts to Five Nights at Freddy's!

**Weiss Reacts to Five Nights at Freddy's!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Finally, you people might be bothered to read this crappy fic again!**

**Please, do not ask for 2 or 3, I must ask in advance, as it is somewhat unlikely I will cover that. Also, if there are discrepancies between the actual game and the chapter, they'll be caused by the fact that my experience of the game is based on one or two times of actually playing it and the Play Pals on it. Yes, I've broken my unspoken rule. Sue me.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a bunny Faunus based on the Hare of Inaba (I love Velvet, though).**

**Five Nights at Freddy's belongs to Scott Cawthon.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"YANG XIAO LONG!" Weiss shrieked for what seemed like the first time in forever. Yang merely giggled, clutching a tablet screen to her.

"Hehehehe...I'm an absolute genius. Wouldn't you agree, dear Weiss~"

"Genius? Stupid stalker troll is a better term!" The heiress seethed. "_You_ knew I was doing that, didn't you?"

"Dear, I like having cameras around campus. It's just procedure." Yang shrugged. "Never know when I could miss..." She gasped for dramatic effect. "An antic!"

"Does your _depravity_ know no bounds, Xiao Long?" Weiss sighed irritably, rubbing her temples.

Yang grinned. "No."

She turned the screen to Weiss.

Upon it was a video of the heiress, seemingly alone in their dorm. Initially, she looked around shiftily, making sure nobody was in the vicinity. Seemingly satisfied, the heiress then pulled out her beloved shark plushie, christened 'Sharkie-chan' and slowly, cooed to it quietly, tucking it into bed and placing before it a bowl of oatmeal.

"Who's a cute widdle shark? You are, Sharkie-chan!" Weiss cooed, uncharacteristically cheerfully. "Yes you are! Yes you are!"

After that, she proceeded to tuck it into a bib, nuzzling it with her cheek and climbing into bed to hug it, quietly whispering complete nonsense to it.

"And don't give me that crap about 'it's Elsa' or 'it's one of Blake's Persocoms'." Yang scoffed dismissively. "I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that's you."

"And the one percent?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"That it's secretly another dimension I looked into and Blake was right about her theory that that book she wanted to gift you ended up in Ylisse." Yang brushed an invisible speck of dust off of her sleeve. "As if."  
Weiss glared at her. "Idiot. You _idiot_. That was m-meant to be a secret!"  
"Nothing is secret with me around~ I also know that you bought more bibs to dress Sharkie-chan in."  
"I-impossible! I-I had them make those deliveries without a receipt!" The heiress was astounded.

Yang chuckled, smirking mischievously. "Well, dear Weissy, we have two options here.

Option one, I'm going to reveal this video to the whole of Beacon and make them think you're even less of a stonehearted ice queen than they already think you are~"  
"Y-you wouldn't dare!"  
"Or option two, you do _one little tiny thing_. Just for me." Yang smiled. "Pretty please?"

Weiss crossed her arms. "N-not a chance! I don't know _what _kind of perverted things you'll make me do!"

"Ah, but Weiss, keep in mind that at least I have restraint and the obligation not to prank you." Yang stated. "You _are_ my future little sister, after all."

"A fact I come to regret every second..." Weiss remarked without missing a beat.

The brawler held up a finger. "Now, _Ren_ on the other hand...he doesn't have my inhibitions. Nor does Cindy~ Or, Dust forbid, _Velvet_."

Weiss froze. If _Velvet_ knew she did this...

'_Velvet would hound me for the rest of my living days. As if I already don't get enough sleep from everyone else's antics...'_

The heiress sighed. "...fine. Touché, Xiao Long. It seems you win for now."

"Always bet on me~" Yang grinned.

Weiss shot her a withering glare. "Just hurry up and tell me what you're going to force me to do.

At least grant me the dignity of a _quick_ embarrassment."

Yang exhaled, smiling ominously, before tapping her chin for a moment as she considered what she was going to make Weiss do. Weiss shuddered as the seconds ticked down, waiting for her doom to be pronounced-

"I just want you to play a game." Yang concluded. Weiss stared at her.

"...that's it? No 'kiss Ruby in front of Velvet'? No 'do something perverted with Ruby'? No antics?"  
Yang chuckled. "You _want_ me to do that?"

"N-no!" The heiress blushed, shaking her head hurriedly.

"I wasn't going to." Yang shrugged. "As for the game...I would say Dangan Ronpa...but I think a game like that's _far_ out of your league, seeing as you were _so_ good at Ace Attorney..."

Weiss glared at her, snapping. "S-SHUT UP! I-I just need practice playing g-games! A-and any game _you'd_ like i-is clearly for b-brainless morons anyway!

And it wasn't _fair_! S-stupid evidence was too hard to find..."

"Quit hiding your crappiness at games with my intelligence, it won't work." The brawler shrugged. "I was thinking something far more...ah, _your_ speed.

Five Nights at Freddy's."

"...tch. Seriously?" Weiss scoffed. "That doesn't even sound threatening."

Yang looked aside briefly. "Well, it really isn't all _that_ threatening, _per se_...but it _is_ really simple. You press about one or two buttons."

"Are you insulting my capacity to play games?"

"Everyone knows your capacity to play a game that isn't 'Civilization' is about as much as the capacity a pumpkin has to shoot lasers out of its backside." Yang remarked. "It's really not an insult so much as me telling the truth.

So, Weiss. Play a game that's _supposedly_ an insult to your intelligence or risk Velvet finding another avenue into your life? I hear her already climbing through the vents~"

Above them, indeed, was the tell-tale clattering and pitter-patter associated with Velvet and her accomplice plushie Vivi trying, yet again, to sneak into the RWBY dorm to kidnap Weiss.

Weiss felt her eyelid twitch. She could even hear Velvet singing about 'flat chests' above her.

"...fine. But if you breathe a _word_ of this to _anyone_, I will _extract your innards and feed them to you._

Do you understand?"

Yang smirked. "Thieves' honour. Let's get started. I even have the game ready-bought _just _for you!"

"...you weren't planning on giving me that other game, were you?"  
"Not a chance."

"Screw you, Xiao Long."

* * *

_Minutes later_...

"So, what's this game about again? I forgot." Ruby inquired, munching cookies down.

Blake shrugged, casually leaning back in a beanbag as Weiss slowly booted up the game. "It's about some night guard guy watching over some free-roaming animatronic animal mascots that horribly eviscerate you if they catch you, until six AM when you're magically freed by the laughing of children.

So, on the horror scale, a low four. I've seen The Room, and that is true horror."

"Oh. Okay!" Ruby shrugged. "Is there a shark mascot? Weiss would go mad if there was a shark mascot."

Weiss grumbled quietly to herself as she finally loaded up the game, the fizzing static staring her in the face.

"...I still can't believe I was _swindled_ into playing this game."

Yang shrugged. "Hey, I gave you a choice."

"Morton's Fork. I would've been doomed whichever choice I took."  
"D-don't use these complicated words with me! I don't know them! J-just play the game!"

"Heh." Weiss smirked, taking satisfaction in the little revenge she'd attained, before clicking 'new game'.

"...tch. How amateurish." Weiss remarked. "Injury and dismemberment...just who in their right mind would take this job?"

"I would." Blake admitted. "It sounds like a nice way to kill an evening or two."  
"You don't count, Belladonna." The heiress remarked. "You think _breaking dimensional barriers_ is a good way to kill an afternoon."

"It's the _manly_ way to kill an afternoon!"

"So...nothing but me and a bunch of metal doors and cameras between being killed horribly and living." Weiss noted slowly. "Perfect. And I can only keep them off me by shutting my doors or staring at them.

I still don't understand why this company hasn't been shut down yet."  
"Well, they are losing money." Yang corrected her. "Not like their business hasn't suffered."

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "One wonders why they hired a security guard and didn't just _bolt the main doors shut_ to prevent these animatronics from leaving..."

Ruby munched some cookies. "...Weiss, you might want to check your next camera..."

"What?" The heiress obliged, checking it to see Freddy standing straight outside her doors. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF DUST!"

She hammered the mouse to shut the door immediately, breathing a sigh of relief when she succeeded.

"Tch, pathetic animatronics think they can win over me." The heiress boasted. "But I am far stronger than mere animatronics...

It is three AM. I'll live to see the dawn with my _excellent stra-_"

Yang smirked. The heiress immediately stopped, already knowing that whatever she had to say, it wasn't good.

"Your power's under half."  
"My what?" Weiss looked confused for a second before looking back on her screen, noticing that her  
power bar had indeed dipped to forty-nine percent, with three usage bars.  
"You mean to say that this game has _power_?!"  
Yang smirked. "No such thing as a free lunch."

"Challenge accepted!" Blake cheered.

"Not every comment Yang makes is a challenge, you moron!" Weiss snapped, glaring at her. "Now shut up and let me play this accursed game!"

Ruby giggled. "So cute when you shout at people~"  
"S-shut up, Ruby! Q-quit being embarrassing!" Weiss yelled, blushing. "...w-wait, why is my power at two per-"

The camera immediately shut off, and the guard office was immediately thrown into darkness. Weiss felt the hairs on the back of her necks stand on edge as she realised-

"...dammit. There goes my protection from those moronic automatons..." The heiress sighed. "Idiot. Xiao Long, you should've told me how to play this!"  
"Not in our agreement~" The brawler shot back.

Weiss drummed her fingers, waiting for the time to turn to six AM. "Come on, hurry...hurry up so I can-"

Blake held up a finger. "Wait, wait. What's that sound-"

The eponymous Freddy Fazbear ended the guard's miserable life in suitably horrible fashion with a bloodcurdling scream, causing Weiss to leap from her seat.

"RUBY HOLD ME!" The heiress cried, hugging onto the reaper.

"Gah!" Ruby nearly tumbled over from the weight of her girlfriend. "W-Weiss!"

"Ahahahaha!" Yang laughed, clutching her belly. "This is _rich_!

This is _so_ going on Dustbook."

"I-if you dare, Xiao Long, I will personally _end_ you! With my bare hands!" Weiss seethed, wounded.

Ruby was blushing, as her face was crushed into Weiss' infamous 'ironing board' of a chest.

"Kyaaaaaah~" The reaper sighed happily. "So...flaaaaaat..."

"R-RUBY!" Weiss immediately relinquished her, flicking her on the forehead and turning away, embarrassed. "Y-you pervert!"

Blake and Yang shared a hi-five.

"What do you know, this _was_ worth my time." The catgirl remarked. Yang gave her a bemused look.

"You expect _me_, the great Yang Xiao Long, to waste your time? As if. What were you even doing down there anyway?"  
"Oh, just _things_." Blake shrugged casually, deflecting the question.

"S-stupid game..." Weiss muttered under her breath as she faced the computer screen once more, mustering the courage to try the game again.

"I-I would've won if Yang had _told_ me how to play it..."

"I doubt it." Yang admitted. "I _highly_ doubt that."

* * *

"Alright, alright..." Weiss took note of her power- currently at a hundred percent- and the time, being at one AM. "This will be easy, now that I know what to do, since Yang was _so_ helpful with teaching me how to play..."

"I never said you couldn't look up a guide~" The brawler reminded her with a knowing smirk. "I only said you had to play it..."

"Idiot!" Weiss snapped. "You _knew_ I'd fail without instructions!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Please, you'd fail anyway, Weiss. You suck at video games anyway, even if you have a guide."

"I don't need your input, _Belladonna_." The heiress hissed. "I only failed horribly because I d-didn't have any instructions."

Ruby held up a finger. "W-wait, Weiss, what's that sound..."

"Tch. It's too early and I still have a lot of power." Weiss scoffed. "I doubt that it's Freddy-"

It was Bonnie.

"GRAH!" Weiss screeched as the animatronic bunny eviscerated her character, ending her game.

"T-that wasn't fair! That is absolutely ridiculous!"

Yang rolled her eyes. "You suck at this game. How did _Bonnie_ nab you so easily?"

"Listen for the moans next time." Blake shrugged. "Sheesh."  
"E-easy for you to say, you've got Faunus senses!"

"I heard it first..." Ruby pointed out helpfully.

"...s-shut up! Everyone's against me today..." The heiress muttered irritably as she restarted the game.

...

Weiss sighed, popping in her headphones and plugging them into the computer, paying more attention to the sounds.

'_Yes...now I don't have to listen to Blake and Yang being morons..._' The heiress mused with a sigh of relief.

Yang and Blake, meanwhile, were sharing out bundles of Lien between each other.

"How much do you bet she gets killed by Chica next?" The brawler inquired.

"About ten, fifteen Lien?" Blake offered. "I think Bonnie will get her again. There's no way she'll get as far as Freddy killing her when the power goes out."

"Oh come on, guys." Ruby said reproachfully. "Weiss isn't that bad! Have some faith in her."

Yang gave her a deadpan look.

"Weiss is your _girlfriend_, Ruby. How haven't you caught on to the fact she sucks at video games yet?"

The heiress screamed again as a giant cartoon chicken occupied her screen, ripping her apart.

"STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" The heiress roared, banging the desk with her fists. "STUPID CHEATING IDIOTS!"

Yang shot the catgirl a grin. Blake grumbled, forking over the Lien.

"...Weiss is so predictably bad." The brawler chuckled. "I'm even making money off of it~"

...

"Alright, alright." Weiss breathed heavily. "I can do this. I can do this. I won't let this pathetic game beat me.

Ace Attorney my backside..."

Ruby smiled, giving her a shoulder rub. "You can do it, Weiss, I _believe _in you~"

"G-gah..." The heiress shuddered, her cheeks reddening slightly. "Thank you..."

Yang put her hands behind her head, resting herself. "I still say she won't do it."

"Alright. Fifty percent power, two AM." Weiss cracked her knuckles, checking her cameras closely.

"...tch. Pathetic animatronics will not best a Schnee!" The heiress vowed as she shut the right door. "Taste defeat, you pathetic mockery of a rabbit! TASTE DEFEAT!"  
Blake whistled. "You're getting into this, aren't you?"  
"S-shut up." Weiss muttered. "I will beat this infuriatingly stupid game! How can a game _this_ simple enrage a person so much..."

Blake whistled. "Wooow. Four AM. You're close, aren't you?"  
"Tch." The heiress waved her off. "Silence. Let me play this game properly.

...come on, come on...wait. My power." Weiss stared at the power bar, realising her power was running out.

"No...come on! COME ON! I'm right near six AM!" The heiress complained helplessly as the power shut off just as the time flipped over to five AM. She crossed her arms, watching the dark office as Freddy's luminous eyes began blinking at her, and the infamous tune went on.

Yang patted Weiss on the shoulder, smiling patronisingly. "Don't worry, Weiss. There's always next time-"  
"Shut up! I still have a chance! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!" The heiress declared defiantly, not moving her mouse at all. "Come on, flip over, flip over..."

The screen went completely black. Weiss drew in breath, waiting for her fate to be decided.

Suddenly, however, light chimes sounded, as the time changed to six AM. Weiss smiled smugly, turning to Yang.

"YES! I BEAT THIS CHEATING GAME!" The heiress cheered. "Eat it, Xiao Long! You may _eat_ your words! I beat this gam-"

"Night two, dear." Yang grinned, thumbing towards the screen. Weiss blanched, shaking her head slowly.

"No. _No_."

"_Five_ Nights at Freddy's." Blake reminded her. "Hehe."

The heiress, reluctantly turned around to see the screen flicker onto twelve AM of night two, as if taunting her.

"...s-screw this!" Weiss stood up, huffing. "T-this is ridiculous! I'm done!"

With that, the heiress stormed out of the room, presumably to the only vending machine she found worth buying from- the vanilla sorbet machine.

Blake chuckled. "Well, Yang, are you just going to let that go?"

"Heh." The brawler cracked her knuckles. "Nobody gets to get away from _my_ antics. Just you watch."  
"Yaaaaang..." Ruby frowned at her. "What are you planning?"  
"Why, dear Ruby, just sisterly things~"

Blake looked aside. "Looks like I'd better break out the camera."

* * *

_Later, at night..._

Velvet giggled, crouching outside the RWBY dorm. She sighed happily, rubbing her cheeks.

"I can't believe Yang gave us tips on how to get Weiss-sempai to love us..." The bunnygirl reflected, blushing. "All those schemes with water-buffalo and sharks didn't work..."

"Pipipipi..." Vivi pointed out.

"Yes, I know it's _Yang_, but she _did_ say she swore upon her meat buns that she wasn't trolling us." Velvet pointed out. It was clear to Vivi that Velvet was obsessed with the concept of finally getting Weiss to love her by any means possible.

The plushie merely slapped her own forehead, shaking her head. "Pipiii pipipi."

"Alright...here goes nothing." Velvet breathed in and popped on Freddy's head, looking over to Vivi.

"Does this look okay?"  
Vivi crossed her arms. "Pipipipipi."

"...I'll take that as a yes." The bunnygirl slowly pushed the dorm door open.

It was dark, with all the lights off. Even Blake was asleep, a can of energy drink in her hand lying limply on the side of her bed, the liquid dripping onto the floor. Weiss was lying in her bed, fast asleep, hugging Sharkie-chan to herself.

"...why yes, Sharkie-chan...I would love some sugar in my tea..." The heiress murmured, completely unaware of the intruder, as she sleepily nuzzled the shark to her cheeks.

'_You'll love me, Weiss-sempai..._' Velvet thought hopefully, before slowly creeping over Weiss' bed and perching herself over her.

"Weeeeeeiss..." The bunnygirl called out softly.

"Sharkie-chan..." The heiress murmured back, softly opening her eyes and looking up.

"Wait..." Weiss slowly realised what was going on, as her eyes widened at Velvet.

"...Weiss-semp-"  
"AHHHHHHH GET AWAY GET AWAY DIE DIE DIE DIE"

Velvet was then beset upon with a flurry of slashes, strikes and smacks from various objects in the room that Weiss could muster, as she tried to chase her off.

"AAAHHH!"

"W-Weiss-sempai! I-I thought you loved this!"  
"GET AWAY FROM ME"

Yang, as she shifted in her bed to tuck herself more into her bed, smiled.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: Moral of the story, if you people haven't figured it out yet: Never take advice from Yang Xiao Long. Except if it's pranking people. Or looking like a sexy beast.**

**Also, Oobleck is Mordin. Definitely.**

**Next time, Weiss Reacts to RWBY Death Battle, courtesy of ****PsyInti ****over on DeviantArt! Give him a huge shoutout from me if you see him, and there will be 100% more Yang boasts!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, reviews, criticisms and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	63. Special Chapter: RWBY Battle Royale!

**RWBY Reacts to Death Battle: RWBY Battle Royale!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, courtesy of ****PsyInsti****, we'll be doing a fanfic about team RWBY being pitted against each other in a death battle. As the story's over on DeviantArt, I don't expect much recognition.**

**Please, if you would like to question the author's decisions, post them over on his story, not mine. We're here to appreciate good writing, not discuss whether Weiss could trash Ruby or not.**

**Although in my opinion Nora would win. Everytime.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise we would have a Jedi-esque character (FRIGGING LIGHTSABERS).**

**Death Battle: RWBY Battle Royale belongs to ****PsyInsti****.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"You know I'm right, Yang." Blake scoffed. "If you really want to go, I'll bet _all_ the Lien I have on me on this moment you're wrong."

Yang crossed her arms. "All your Lien? As if. I know you don't carry that much. You're going to have to give me something better."

"Like?" The catgirl raised an eyebrow, studying her friend's face.  
"All of your tuna sandwiches. For a week." Yang concluded after brief thought, smiling knowingly.

Blake's eyes narrowed. "You _wouldn't_."  
Yang smirked, tapping her foot. "Test me, Blakey. This is _payback_ for that time you made me _dye my hair like Nia's_."

Blake calmly sighed, closing her eyes. "I see...so...this is karma, eh? I see. Let's prove it-"

Weiss, who was quietly nursing a mug of hot chocolate on the table in the dorm, slammed her palm forcefully onto the desk.

"Alright, what are you two _morons_ arguing about this time?! And don't tell me it's about the stupid game you idiots made me play."

Blake's eyes narrowed at Yang. "Yeah, you boring person. You _hacked_ it to make Freddy appear on the first night!"  
"I neither deny nor accept that claim, but it was a genius move if I did it." Yang chuckled. "But, that isn't it. No.

We were arguing to see who would beat everyone in a fight among us. Y'know, like a battle royale!"

"I pretty clearly proved that I would beat both you AND Blake in a competition!" Weiss reminded them boastfully. "Not hard to remember, the festival wasn't that long ago!"

"Yeah, but if we were fighting, theoretically, to kill each other- which would never happen..." Blake laughed. "Like, really, no way- anyway, if we were fighting at full force, to kill each other, what would happen?"

Weiss held up a finger. "Well, I would win, as I am a superior fighter to both of you."  
"As if!" Yang laughed. "You're superior to me in _one_ thing-having your backside handed to you!"

"I outsmarted you in a fight." The heiress reminded her.

"If it was a real one, you'd be lying flat on the ground!" The brawler boasted. "I bet!"

"You bet what?" Ruby inquired, interested. She had a cookie half in her mouth, tilting her head cutely.

Blake looked between Yang and Weiss, who were sharing an intense glare, rubbing the back of her head and chuckling.

"We were having an argument about who'd win in a real, bonafide death battle between us four."

"Just that?" Ruby looked confused. "I thought it was worse than that. Weiss sounded pretty angry."  
"She always sounds pretty angry."  
"I know!" The reaper said dreamily. "Isn't it _cute_?!"

Blake sighed. "Only to you, Ruby. Only to you."

"Alright, let's have it now then!" Yang yelled. "You, me, right now!"  
Weiss laughed scornfully. "_Gladly_. I'll show you just how much better of a fighter I am!"

Ruby stepped between them. "Okay, okay! I think things are getting _just_ a little too heated here. I'm sure someone here did something like that, but a little more, y'know, _impartial_."

"...tch. You're right." Yang nodded. "And I've been dying to get my own back on Blake here."  
"What was your bet anyway?"  
"I bet that you'd win, because plot armour, and she bet I'd win, because of my whole 'absorbing force' Semblance." The brawler stated. Weiss raised an eyebrow."  
"You _didn't_ bet on yourself? I'm shocked."

"Shut it, Schnee."

Blake turned to Ruby. "Well, it looks like we're hunkering down for another fic binge. Ruby, boot up the computer, I'll grab the snacks.

I bet one of our fans did a fic talking about that situation."  
"It'll be refreshing to have a fic that isn't perverted for once." Weiss remarked grumpily. "That'll be the day..."  
Yang sighed, disappointed. "I was looking forward to handing Weiss her backside on a silver platter, but fine.

I'll grab some drinks from the outside. Let's do this!"

* * *

_Minutes later_...

Yang and Blake trundled into their dorm, carrying piles of drinks and snacks of all sorts- Blue Cow energy drinks, bento boxes, cookies and vanilla sorbet with the occasional bottle of Schnee Snu-Bru soda- lemon-mint flavour- in their hands. Weiss and Ruby were sitting at the computer, the former sat on a chair and the latter on a giant penguin beanbag, looking on the Dustnet for this mythical fic that supposedly showed them all fighting each other.

They, of course, used the popular Valean search engine Schnoogle.

"I can't seem to find it..." Ruby complained, frowning. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Ruby, are you sure you've tried every possible search keyword?" Weiss pointed out. "You haven't tried out the obvious."  
"Huh?" The reaper tilted her head. "Which one?"  
"Why, _'rwby death battle_'."

Ruby's eyes widened, dawning in realisation. "Ooooooh, that. That might've been a good idea."  
"For _Dust's_ sake, Rose..." The heiress facepalmed as the latter half of team RWBY pulled themselves chairs from the other parts of the dorm.

"...Schnoogle came up with something!" Yang pointed at the screen. "Look at that, look at that!"

Blake rubbed her chin. "Huh, a fic that isn't on DustFiction. It's on DeviantDust."

Yang snorted. "You know, I think Elf's getting less imaginative as the chapters go by. You guys get that feeling?"  
"I don't even understand what you're talking about." Weiss sighed irritably. "Just open it up and let's get this over with."  
"So we can prove that _Rubes_ is clearly the winner, I can claim my revenge _and_ I can prove Weiss would _lose_ in a real fight against me." Yang boasted, causing the heiress to glare at her. "Would you _shut it_, Xiao Long?!"  
"Sorry, dear~ Not my nature~"

"Alright, innocent enough start." Blake noted. "Innocent enough..."

Weiss glared at her. "Ruby, if you _ever_ bring an incessant whistle like that into our dorm, I will physically _end_ you."  
"I love you too, honey~"

Weiss blushed. "H-hmph. Idiot."

Yang laughed. "As always, Ruby screws up and we we're late again...

...and suddenly, murder!"

"Wow things got brutal quickly." Ruby whistled. "...eeep..."

Blake facepalmed. "...that cat pun is _so_ bad..."  
"Cat got you-" Yang didn't even finish the sentence before snickering. "...I love it!"  
"Of course you love it, you've made worse puns." Weiss remarked drily.

"Haters gonna hate~"

Blake exhaled as she read about her and Ruby duelling each other at high speed, using their respective Semblances. "Welp, it seems Ruby's faster. Stupid super speed Semblance..."

"Not even superspeed." Yang whistled. "I say it was teleportation, more or less."

Ruby chuckled, blushing from the praise. "I'm not nearly _that_ fast, guys."

"If this was in our universe, I'd totally win." The catgirl stated boastfully.

"I'd just Giga Drill Break all of you."

"Not _everything _can be answered by shoving a drill made of your Aura into it, Blake!" The heiress reprimanded her, exasperated with her obsession.

"Yeah, but sadly, we have to go off canon here." Yang sighed. "Boring, yuri-free canon where I don't get to be sexier than Cinder and we don't get Weiss being in denial about Ruby like the useless lesbian she is.

_Boring_."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You and sexy have a stupid relationship."  
"I CAN'T HELP IT I HAVE TO RECLAIM THE SEXY OKAY IT'S NOT FAIR THAT WINTER STOLE IT I WAS SEXY FIRST" With that, the brawler whimpered.

"Y-Yang!" Ruby placed her hands on her arm. "C-calm down!"

"I-I'm just sensitive, okay?!"

...

"This fight settles it, you suck." Yang declared proudly as her story self slammed Weiss into the ground, presumably killing her. "See? I'd beat you in a real fight."

"T-that wasn't fairly balanced!" Weiss complained. "I-If I had been properly prepared, I would have easily sent you into the glyphs that make up my Semblance-"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, force absorption, I win." The brawler declared, shrugging. "See? Everyone knows I'm more badass than you, I just lose to you because the fic's called _Weiss_ Reacts, not _Yang_ Reacts.

Which sucks. I want to be the main character for once!"

...

"I call bull!" Yang declared. "No _way_ Blake's sword can cut through Aura that quickly!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You're not invincible, and they, thankfully, accounted for that."

"Yeah, quit whining." Blake shook her head. "Even gods bleed, as they say."

"And guess what, you got wrecked!" Yang declared, pointing at the screen. "I mean, I probably would've thrashed you without my Semblance, but eh."

"If you want me to show you how hard a Giga Drill Break hurts on you right now, then I suggest we take this to the arena." Blake cracked her knuckles. "I dare you, Yang~"  
"Pfft. I'll give you your fight if you win our bet." The brawler reminded her. "That's your prize."  
"Deal." Blake smiled, determined. "I guess you're going to get wre-"

"JUST READ THE FIC!" Weiss snapped. "Idiots!"

…..

"For the second that would determine everyone's souls...is this Persona?" Yang tilted her head.

Weiss held up a finger, interrupting her. "What _did_ happen to the Persona you apparently got?"  
"Kyuubi-no-Kitsune?" Yang repeated. "Ah, yeah, her. Err...I never got a chance to use her. I think she kinda withered away from underuse, since I never got to use her since doing that thing offscreen last volume."

Blake shrugged. "Eh. Let's see who wins this fight."

"If it's Ruby, you owe me your tuna sandwiches for the rest of the week." Yang reminded her partner teasingly.

"...this. Is. AWESOME!" Ruby cheered, laughing. "We're going 'boom' and 'pew' and there's all these explosions!

I love it!"

"One thing's definitely true, you're both damn fast." The catgirl remarked, whistling casually. "And you wonder why I use Spiral Power to augment my blows.

Without it, I hit like a baby. And that's not particularly _manly, _as you saw here."

Weiss huffed. "Well, easy for you to say. I got taken out by _Yang_."

"But I'm a badass!" The brawler protested. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, being taken out by me!

At least you got taken out by a sexy beast."  
"A sexy beast who got out-sexy'd by an oblivious moron." Weiss reminded her, causing Yang to shoot her a glare that only made her snicker in amusement.

"_Don't_ you remind me-"

"I win!" Ruby raised her hands triumphantly.

"...WHAT?!" Blake stared at the screen, looking for the proof and finding it. "...DAMMIT!"  
Yang pumped her fist. "YES! I WIN! I WIN A BET! FINALLY!

FIFTY CHAPTERS I'VE BEEN WAITING TO WIN SOMETHING PROPERLY!"

"DAMMIT!" Blake sank to the ground, defeated. "M-My...tuna sandwiches..."

Weiss rolled her eyes, reading the analysis.

"Seductive? Hardly. Cunning? Please."

"You're just jealous because I'm hot~" Yang teased her.

"They said that your stupidly large chest was useless."  
"THEY SAID WHAT" The brawler immediately switched to an angrier expression. "A-A LARGE CHEST IS USEFUL! IT'S AN AWESOME CUSHION, A SIGN OF HEALTH AND-"  
"Oh, face it, your chest is useless in a fight unless you're fighting someone as perverted as you." The heiress remarked irritably.

"Y-you're just jealous!"  
"For once, my chest size doesn't matter!"

"Well, I won anyway! I wanted to lose so I can get my bet from Blake!" Yang giggled, watching her anguished tuna-loving teammate sob in defeat.

Ruby raised a finger. "I'll leave a comment, to let them know how awesome it was."

"You have a DeviantDust a-oooh, right, back in your cookie art phase." Yang snapped her fingers. "Alright."

* * *

**RubyRoseKawaii**

best death battle

yang is happy

although no way i'd hurt my team, or weiss, weiss is too adorable

love, rubes

ps: blake hates you she lost her tuna sandwiches because you made her lose a bet

* * *

"M-my tuna..." Blake muttered, horrified. "I-I'm sorry..."

Yang merely crossed her arms and smiled smugly.

"Get used to it. It's karma for making me dye my beautiful hair~"

Needless to say, Blake was stuck in a horrified state for the rest of the afternoon.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the one you've ALL been waiting for. RWBY Reacts to RWBY Volume 2! A shout out to ****PsyInsti ****for letting us do their story!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and suggestions and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	64. Special Chapter: RWBY Volume 2, Part 1!

**RWBY Reacts to RWBY Volume 2, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now...to do the thing that you have all been waiting for, after which you may finally drop this crappy fic- RWBY Volume 2. I was originally waiting until the end of the volume itself to do the chapter, but I got a load of requests and I wanted to do some other stuff. Now that we've got the stuff out of the way, we can finally do it.**

**Let it begin.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise that one picture with Ruby and Weiss riding on the back of the RWBYSaurus would be canon.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_RWBY dorm..._

"...Weiss, come on!" Yang complained. "Come oooooon!"

Weiss crossed her arms, shaking her head. "No. I won't allow it! Idiot."

"But whyyyyy?!" Yang pouted, stomping the ground indignantly. "Whyyyyy?!"

Weiss' eyes narrowed. "Quit acting so childish, you idiot."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Weiss, come off it. It's not going to _kill_ you to have fun for once..."

"...with _Velvet Scarlatina, Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie_ in the same room? I rather think _not_." The heiress looked dismissively at them. "Definitely not."

Ruby pouted. "Weeeeiss, just watch it with us!"

Jaune nodded, sitting between Pyrrha and Winter; Minako was ill in the infirmary after she accidentally ate a bad batch of bread. Jaune was somewhat grateful for the reprieve- at least now, he could feel somewhat more normal and less like a harem protagonist- but the knight was somewhat crushed by the spearmaiden's aggressive cuddling.

"Yeah...Weiss, you can sit between me and...Pyrrha here..." The knight offered somewhat desperately. "...p-please..."  
"I'm not getting within ten feet of that." Weiss remarked irritably. "No way."

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Dear Weiss, please watch this with us. I have been planning to watch this cartoon for a long while, as I was away during the broadcast period.

I would like you to watch it, please."  
"Pweaaaase~" Ruby pleaded, her eyes wide in the manner of abandoned puppies and little sister heroines. "Pweaaaaaase?!"

Weiss cringed, actively resisting the urge to hug her adorable girlfriend. "...s-stop that. Y-you know that makes me feel uncomfortable...

...ugh, fine. I'll watch the stupid show with you, but only because my sister asked nicely! N-not because Ruby pleaded..."

"YAY!" Nora cheered, practically jumping in her chair.

Ren sighed, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Don't sweat it, Weiss. We've called a truce on the antics today."  
"Somehow, I don't believe you." The heiress shook her head, unconvinced.

"We have, Weiss-sempai!" Velvet protested, frowning. "I'm not allowed to kidnap you and make you love me until we're done watching the whole volume...s-stupid antic truce..."

Weiss stared at her in shock. "You _agreed_ to not trying to kidnap me?!"

"You have to believe us now!" Blake announced. "No way Velvet would ever not take the opportunity to kidnap you or snuggle into your flat chest-"

"ADEQUATE chest, Blake. ADEQUATE." Weiss snapped. "ADE. QUATE. MY CHEST SIZE IS FINE."

Yang gave them a thumbs up. "It's ready, guys! We can start watching the show now!" With that, she and Blake retreated to their spots on the couch.

Nora cheered, pumping her fist. "YAY! Guys, let's open the snacks! Nora need pancake NOW!" The girl growled to get her point across.

Cinder laughed, crossing her arms and sitting on a giant burrito plushie. "Hah, let's. I've been dying to watch this volume ever since I finished the last one- however, as I have to work as a teacher now, I had to spend all of it marking your work.

Yang, by the way, drawing a puppy on your work, although it made me laugh, doesn't get you a good grade."  
The brawler looked indignant. "But it was a _WELL-DRAWN_ puppy!"

The pyromancer chuckled, sighing. "I was a little disappointed about how I looked though. My chest's bigger than that, my voice isn't really that deep, and where're my burritos? "

The entire gang was seated around a table facing the TV, with the biggest pile of snack foods they could gather. Cookies, pancakes, vanilla sorbets, pizzas and burritos stuck out of the heap, along with _mochi_ bags and mundane chips. Drinks, too, were to be found- People Like Grapes grape soda, Blue Cow energy drink and even some of that weird Kamogawa Energy drink that Blake imported from some coastal town in Japan. A tray sat nearby, with cups of hot chocolate, drizzled liberally with marshmallows and topped with curls of whipped cream, prepared by Winter just minutes ago.

Ruby patted a seat she'd left open on the couch for Weiss as the heiress sat next to her, crossing her arms.

"I still don't trust Velvet." The heiress grumbled.

"Pipipipi!" Vivi the plushie complained. "Pipipipipi!"  
"Well, maybe I have good _reason_ not to trust my obsessive stalker who has kidnapped me in the past _not_ to kidnap me!"

"SHUSH!" Jaune called out. "The show's starting!"

Ruby giggled, pressing herself into Weiss' side and tossing a blanket over herself and her girlfriend to keep them both warm.

"This is going to be_ awesome_!" The reaper squealed. Weiss blushed, shivering.

"Q-quit acting s-so happy...i-idiot..."

* * *

Ren whistled, watching Tukson's canon counterpart being murdered at the hands of Mercury and Emerald.

"...if Professor Tukson were to watch this, this television would likely not survive."

"Yeah." Cinder nodded in assent. "He'd probably insist that he'd shoot lasers at their faces or explode their heads with a load of punches or pull some JoJo crap and stop time.

I mean, I don't know if he can do that, but he's got the whole Aura thing down..."  
"...that _is_ my binder!" Weiss shrieked. "You stole it, Ruby!"  
"I-I had to!" The reaper protested. "B-besides, I don't even have one!"  
"YOU MEAN A MATURE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT LIKE YOU DOESN'T KEEP HER OWN THINGS ORGANISED!?"

Jaune tapped Yang on the shoulder. "Hey, I don't remember any of this happening. Did they stop following us around or something?"  
"Nah, it's because this whole fic was written before Volume Two came out and so technically what happened in canon didn't happen here and Elf couldn't be bothered to try to reconcile Reacts canon with real canon." Yang explained hastily, only earning a dumbstruck look from Jaune.

"Whaaa?"

"Or, you know, it's a work of fiction, not a documentary?" The brawler shrugged. Jaune swore he heard 'amateurs' under her breath.

"Hah! Right on the nose." Nora cheered, squealing happily. "RIGHT ON THE NOSE!"

Weiss closed her eyes, grumbling. "It seems no matter what, fanfiction, official cartoons or not, I suffer more than everyone else..."

"Gee, thanks." Ren's eyes narrowed at Nora. "Thanks for ratting me out, Nora."

"Being me is suffering." Jaune muttered, wincing as he smashed into a pane of glass.

Winter sighed, calmly nursing a cup of tea in her hand as she shifted somewhat closer to Jaune. "So this is what I missed?"

"N-no! This didn't happen! Thank Dust for that..."

Nora giggled as she saw herself standing triumphantly upon a castle of tables. Her eyes sparkled with tears of joy.

"T-They really made me...a true queen of the castle..." She sniffed.

"Nobody would hurt Jaune like that and not pay for it." Pyrrha noted darkly. "Nobody."

"...don't take it that serious..." Yang cautioned her. "It's just a show."  
"I do not approve of seeing my Jaune-kun being injured." The spearmaiden muttered, with just a hint of irritation.

"Woooow, Ren." The brawler, clearly unsatisfied with being unable to taunt the spearmaiden, turned to her mentor in pranks as her target. "You pervert, looking up my skirt like that..."  
Ren scoffed, dismissive of the comment. "Yeah, no. I've got a girlfriend, thanks."

"Dammit, you're no fun, Renny..."

Nora clung to his arm, sticking her tongue out at her. "Ren's mine, dear~

He stares at nobody's panties but _mine_! You hear me? _Mine_!"

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Miss Valkyrie, I do not think staring at anyone's undergarments is a sign of love."

Cinder looked disappointed. "Oh COME ON, Glynda!" She raised her hands, pointing them at the screen. "Did you really have to ruin their fun?!"

"That fun got us splattered in unspeakable messes, the composition of which I'm _not_ eager to find out." Weiss remarked drily.

Blake raised an eyebrow. "You're party to it. See? Here or in canon, you can't escape the fact that you're just not above it all."  
"S-shut up! I-I don't _choose_ to go with your stupid antics, I-I just get dragged into them!" The heiress snapped. "D-don't you compare me to you, _Belladonna_!"

"Maaaan, I'm cool when I'm evil." Cinder wolf-whistled at her portrayal on screen. "And hot. I'd totally tap that."  
"You and Xiao Long are a bunch of perverts." Weiss' eyes narrowed. "I know why you two are such good friends now..."

Yang and Cinder merely shared a fistbump.

"Fiery sexy sisters for the win~"

Ren clapped at the title sequence. "Excellent animation. I'm jealous now-I wish I could do it that well myself."

"You're into animation?" Blake raised an eyebrow. Ren shrugged.

"A favour to the man up there. I'm not as good as some, but I get along."  
"O-Elf-sama?"

"No, higher than him." The gunslinger sighed. "Anyway, now's not the time to be reflecting on that."

Blake nodded. "I see...well, you never know. I might need you some other time."

Weiss groaned.

"Why do I _not_ like the sound of that?"

"You never like the sound of anything." Ruby sighed, nuzzling into her. "Just calm down, nothing bad's going to happen."  
"I can feel it in my bones, or so the expression goes." The heiress muttered darkly.

* * *

"Oooh, tension~" Yang chuckled. "I like tension. Tension is-HEY!

We can totally win a war!"  
"_I_ can win a war." Weiss reminded her harshly. "I beat you."  
"Only because we sacrificed ourselves to make sure you could fight Glynda off." Blake reminded her cheerfully. "Remember that?"

"I smell antics." Weiss sniffed as Yang helped her win. "...and I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT WAS ALL STUPID ANTICS! STUPID!"

"Ironically, tactical cunning is just about the only thing Weiss is good at." Blake remarked, earning her a glare from the indignant heiress.

"Heeey, guys!" Sun walked in, waving at them. Ruby and Pyrrha spared him a nod as he grabbed a chair.

"Sorry I was late. Neptune ate the same batch of bread as Minako did and now they're all ill."

"Wait, wait, how many people did we invite here?" Weiss inquired. Ren counted carefully on his fingers.

"...hm...well, we also invited Coco, Yatsuhashi, Fox, Sage, Scarlet, Norn and Isara." The gunslinger noted.

"And all of them are sick?" Yang raised an eyebrow. Sun nodded.

"Yep. Isara had two of those and got hit worst. Not a pretty sight. Glad I didn't have that bread."  
"What was that bread anyway?" Weiss inquired. The monkey Faunus shrugged.

"All they got out of Fox was it was some kinda octopus bread or something..."

Cinder snickered. "And the Furukawas strike again."

"What?"  
"Nothing~"

Pyrrha looked offended. "Jaune-kun is the best leader."

"...you're just saying that because you want to get into his pants." Yang remarked.

The spearmaiden shot her a steely glance, offended.

"I will have you know that I do not intend such perverted things for Jaune-kun."

"Really? Then what was that business with the shirtless Jaune pictures you begged me to show you?"

Pyrrha blushed as Jaune gave her an exasperated glance.

"Seriously?!"

"I-I was only intending to ensure you were keeping fit!"

"Ice Queen..." The heiress' eyelid twitched. "...never heard _that_ before."

Blake's eyelid twitched even more. "...angsty me? Am I _angsting_?!

THAT IS NOT MANLY!"

"Hey, hey, calm down!" Jaune cried. "J-just wait, it's only the second episode!"

Winter nodded. "I do not understand. Why are you concerned with the masculinity of your portrayal?"

Blake gave her a look as if she was stupid. "Are you _serious_?! Manliness is not just important! It is _essential _to how-"

Weiss flicked her in the ear, causing her to silence herself, pouting. "Shut up."

Yang watched Blake squirm at her worrying self in concern.

"Oh, Dust. This is going to be _fun_."  
"...not manly...self...not manly..." The catgirl muttered. "...not..._manly_..."

"You know, I totally _rock_ that school uniform." Cinder whistled at her own behind, impressed.

* * *

"S-stupid..." Weiss scoffed. "I-I would never accept that offer..."

"And I wouldn't ask it!" Jaune protested.

Yang laughed. "Yeah, because you've got like five girls already after you."

"Unfortunately." The knight sighed, somewhat sadly.

"...firstly, Blakey, loving that navel~" Yang giggled lecherously. Blake blushed profusely.

"S-shut up. D-don't t-try that act on me, p-pervert..."

"And secondly, Weiss' chest has _jiggle physics_?!" The brawler looked incredulous. "So she _does_ have breasts!"

Weiss sighed, resisting the urge to throttle Yang.

"T-those are just deposits of fat! That means I'm less fat than you! T-therefore you have n-nothing to be proud of!" Weiss protested.

Yang stuck her tongue out. "Yeah, Weiss, not how it works~"

Ren looked impressed. "You got some clout if you can just make people give you _super secret stuff_ for free, Weiss."

"At least I have _one _thing that Xiao Long doesn't just tear down..." The heiress muttered irritably.

"For once, Penny _isn't _acting like a complete weirdo." Yang commented. "Totally not suspicious."  
Nora snorted. "Does she think we don't know she's a robot? It's pretty obvious."  
"You saw it too?" Blake looked over to her.

"No, the pancake gods told me she wasn't human." The berserker shrugged. "What, they don't talk to you?"

Winter sipped her tea, nodding. "Penny...the name does not ring a bell."

"Oh yeah, you never met her." Ruby nodded, realising that Weiss' sister hadn't been in the kingdom for months. "...she's a robot who's pretty cool. We don't really see her all that much, as she doesn't really go to Beacon, but we drop by to say hi once or twice a month."

The lady looked slightly impressed. "A robot. Like Miss Norn, yes?"  
"Yes, like Miss Norn."

"Intriguing. She sounds like a nice girl."

"And right on schedule, Ruby drools over the giant mecha." Yang announced, looking over at her sister, who looked slightly offended.

"What? I have to appreciate good-looking weapons!"  
"There's appreciation, and then there's seeming like to _appreciate it_ to the point that we thought you were in love with your own scythe before you hooked up with Weiss." Sun reminded her. "Sheesh."

"Only three people on this earth understand me, Weiss, Yang and Cress~" Ruby giggled.

"You even gave it a pet nickname." Winter smiled. "Charming."

Ren raised an eyebrow. "Been a long time since I last heard someone say that unironically."

"Not a real girl." Cinder nodded slowly. "Riiiight. Penny, dear, we knew that the moment we saw you shoot blades out of your black like a freaking Murakamo unit.

And really, Pinocchio? You're just asking for the robot wild mass guessing."

"I'm personally confused as to why they're shocked she stopped a car with Aura." Weiss muttered. "Seriously, we survive falls that snap every bone in one's body, being impaled by giant feathers and smashed by pillars with Aura!"

"Aura-using robot, although not as if I haven't made like three of those already." Blake commented. Sun gave her an impressed look.

"You've got to teach me how you did that."

"All in due time, dear Sun. All in due time."

* * *

"Fragile flower my backside." Jaune remarked sarcastically. "Right.

She's about as fragile as Winter is un-ladylike."  
"I will take that as a compliment." The lady smiled softly at him. Pyrrha's glare hardened.

"It's just a friendly compliment! N-no need to overreact..."  
Blake raised an eyebrow. "Pyrrha, dear, I think you're the only one overreacting."

"Not the first time I've trashed this place." Yang laughed. "I can't believe they're so scared of little old me~"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Little old you, the girl who trashed the entire dorm in search of a bottle of shampoo and nearly blew up the East Wing when Blake made you dye your hair!"

"A girl needs her hair to look perfect!" The brawler declared. "It just wouldn't be right otherwise."

Cinder stared at Roman making his speech. "You know, he really sucks at making speeches.

I'm pretty disappointed in him and oh hey, Freckles!"

"Atlesian Paladins." Blake scoffed dismissively. "Pathetic. Fragile, inefficient design, not enough explosions.

And no mention of manliness? Roman, you disgust me. Kamina is disgusted with you. EVERY SPEECHMAKER IN HISTORY IS DISGUSTED WITH YOU."

"Awesome fight time!" Nora cheered, before frowning. "But we're not in it! That's not _fair_!"

"They used everything but White Rose and a couple of other ship names." Ren nodded. "Guess Rooster Teeth really does listen to the fans."

Yang whooped for joy. "Yeah! Damn straight! No crappy robot's going to beat me!"

"Come on, come-YES!" Ruby cheered. "We beat them! Woo-oh wait, Neo."

The brawler pouted. "REALLY?! That is complete and utter _bull-_"  
"Yang!" Winter and Weiss both snapped at the same time. "Language!"

"Alright, alright, sheesh." The brawler grumbled. "Bunch 'o brownnoses..."

Sun frowned. "Y'know, I take offense at that. I wouldn't just abandon you guys to your fate.

Although that does make me hungry for ramen now..."

"We got some instant ramen in the back." Yang pointed towards the cupboards. "Grab some if you like.

* * *

"If Cardin weren't such a douche in canon, that fight would've gone worse for Pyrrha." Yang noted.

Sun whistled. "I really bet she'd been waiting _months_ to do that..."

Pyrrha merely shifted without changing her expression. "I protect Jaune however much I can. I do not approve of him being injured by anyone."

Cinder snickered. "Mercury wouldn't last that long against Pyrrha. Pfft.

Not since I trained her, hell no."

"Thank you for having such faith in my skills, Professor Fall." Pyrrha nodded towards her, smiling.

"Why, dear, I trained you. I'm nothing if not a good teacher!" The pyromancer declared.

"I'm angsting again..." Blake twitched. "This is calling for a punch to the face for her..."

"Belladonna, you are _not_ permitted to use your Lagann to go into the canon world to punch yourself in the face." Weiss warned her. "You hear me? You are _not_ permitted to punch her in the face!"

Blake muttered irritably. "...stupid rules...stupid..."

Jaune looked even more offended. "You know, I'm a better singer and a guitar player than that.

I grew up having to entertain my sisters, y'know."  
Winter smiled. "I would like to hear your guitar playing sometime, then."

"A-as would I." Pyrrha chimed in hurriedly. "I-I would like to hear you play guitar too, Jaune-kun!"

"Jealous Pyrrha!" Yang announced. "Jealous Pyrrha! Well, why's she so jealous anyway?

In canon, not like Jaune would ever get Weiss to go out with him, and here, not like, oh, wait." Yang remembered Jaune's harem. "Right."

"I am not jealous and there is nothing to be jealous about." Pyrrha rebuked her. "Jaune-kun can choose any woman he would like to date."

"We'll believe you when you stop giving him puppy dog eyes." Sun remarked sarcastically, chowing down on a bowl of instant ramen on his lap. "The only reason half the guys in the school don't ask you out is because they think Jaune's your boyfriend or something."

Winter imperceptibly twitched at that last word. "Boyfriend, do you say?"  
"Boyfriend...I like the sound of that..." The spearmaiden sighed happily.

Jaune facepalmed. "Wearing a dress...I am going to eat those words in a couple of episodes, I can feel it in my bones."

"Not like I can't just shove you in a dress when I feel like it." Yang smirked. "I have no trouble with that."

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YANG"

The brawler frowned. "You're no fun."

* * *

"...laser pointer gag..." Yang snickered. "As expected..."

Blake twitched. "...if you try that in real life, I am going to punch you in the mouth, Yang.

You _know_ I can't resist those!"  
Nora squealed happily. "SHIRTLESS REN! YES! FINALLY!" The girl started drooling.

Ren gave her a strange look. "You know, Nora, I'm right next to you. You can stop drooling over a cartoon version of me any moment now."  
Cinder facepalmed. "Jaune, quit aiming so high. Besides, Pyrrha's more talented. And hotter."

"Wait, are you talking to _me_ or cartoon _me_?"

"Well, we know Weiss crushes on you here, so definitely not you."

"I am _taken_!" Weiss snapped, blushing. "I most certainly do not want to date Jaune and Ruby at the same time!"

"M-me neither!" Ruby added, also blushing.

Winter tilted her head.

"Everyone seems to be blushing at the mention of courting Jaune. There's no reason to be embarrassed..."

Sun facepalmed, exasperated. "Yeah, Winter, I don't think you get it."  
"What?"

"...nothing."

"BACKSTORY EXPOSITION TIME" The brawler declared. "...that's really irresponsible of me...really? REALLY?!

I am going to strangle myself! IDIOT! Y-you put Rubes at risk! You _idiot_! IDIOT!" She seethed, clenching her fists.

"Whoa, whoa!" Ruby held her arm. "Calm down, calm down, it didn't actually happen!"

"I will not permit anyone to hurt or put my Ruby in danger, alright? Not even myself!" Yang declared. "...ugh...fine. Fine.

At least...at least I get to glomp Blake. Surprised I didn't cop a feel. I would've, definitely~"

"Y-you recovered quickly!" Blake remarked, her cheeks rouging.

"It's weird to see Jaune get rejected like that." Sun remarked. "Y'know, pretty used to basically every girl looking for him and all."

"A _white dress?! REALLY?!_" Yang's eyes widened. "That's so _boring _and plain! BORING! It doesn't even emphasise my curves or anything!"

Weiss sighed. "Thankfully, _some_ version of you has something on her mind apart from perversion and stupid antics."

"Aaaaand we end the episode with ominous appearances from Mercury and Emerald." Blake nodded. "Wait, Velvet has been awfully silent..."  
"...flaaaat~"

"AAAAHHH!" Weiss screeched, as she realised Velvet had climbed onto her lap and snuggled her cheeks into Weiss' chest.

"Sooo flaaat...it's delicious~"

"G-GET OFF OF ME, YOU PERVERT!" The heiress slapped the bunnygirl in the face, sending her to the floor. She felt her cheeks, almost _moaning_ in ecstasy as she pulled herself off the floor.

"It hurts so good..."

Weiss grimaced.

"And now you see _why_ I don't trust this girl..."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Next time, episodes 7-12, with 100% more pervy Velvet, jealous Pyrrha and snarky Weiss!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	65. Special Chapter: RWBY Volume 2, Part 2!

**RWBY Reacts to RWBY Volume 2, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! This is the second half, covering episodes 7-12, and madness shall reign again! Yes, maybe this fic might actually be good again (a mysterious prospect, I know). Anyway, I do have one thing to ask you guys before I get started.**

**Do you think I should approach the author of Remnant's Reclaimer for permission to react to the fic? Your opinion is highly valued, so if you have one, please sound in. With that finished, let's get this fic on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise we'd have Yang in a spy catsuit (fan artists, that's your cue.)**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Ugh." Weiss wiped the blood off of her skirt as Ruby and Winter helped Velvet back into her chair.

"It huuuuurts so goood..." The bunnygirl moaned, rubbing her cheek, as if to capture the essence of her beloved heiress into her hand. She had a steady ooze of blood from her nose- not entirely induced by the physical consequences of being slapped.

Winter frowned, looking concernedly at her. "Oh my. Is Miss Scarlatina ill? I can call Miss Honda if that is necessary."

"No, no." Yang facepalmed, waiting for Blake to click up to the next episode. "She's not physically sick, although her mental health leaves...something to be desired."

Ren shook his head slowly. "So much for antic truces."

"'Antic' and 'truce' are not two words that go together!" Weiss snapped. "Especially not with _you_ morons involved!"

"As expected, this attempt to watch a good show just turned into hell." Jaune closed his eyes, shaking his head. Pyrrha frowned, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"You know, Jaune-kun, w-we can watch this...b-by _ourselves_..."  
"Y-yeah, I don't think so."

Winter frowned at her. "Yes, Miss Nikos, this _is_ a friends' gathering. Having some of our friends leave would be somewhat disappointing."  
Yang stared at her, before giving her a bemused smile. "Why, Winter Schnee! Showing a little assertiveness and defending your man from Pyrrha?"  
"I do not know what you speak of."

"H-her man?" The spearmaiden looked shocked.

Weiss gripped her fist and pounded the armrest of the couch. "Blake, hurry up and put the next episode on! We are about to go into yet another stupid inane argument and I don't think I can resist the urge to strangle one of these morons!"

Nora pouted. "Oh come on, Weiss, have a sense of adventure! This is _fun!"_

_"_You think getting us banned from Pancake Land is fun."  
"I HAD TO COOK THE GREATEST PANCAKE IN THE WORLD THE SLOTH GODS TOLD ME TO" The berserker protested. "After all, is it not written in the sacred book of Slothism, that the greatest prophet of all Slothists, Noraicus Valkyricus, would bring upon the world a pancake to praise the-"  
"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" The heiress screeched. "YOU SOUND LIKE AN ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!"

"B-but...Noraicus...was a real...historical figure..." Nora whimpered.

Sun, meanwhile, enjoyed his ramen, shaking his head at everyone else's madness.

"I'm forgetting why I wanted to introduce Neptune to these guys..." The monkey Faunus muttered, slurping up a noodle into his mouth.

Much to Weiss' relief, however, Blake turned to them, giving them a thumbs up. "Alright, next episode's ready! Let's get watching!"

"Finally." The heiress closed her eyes. "At last, these morons may keep quiet so I can watch this accursed show..."

* * *

"Hah, rejected." Cinder chuckled at Ironwood attempting to ask out Glynda. "Everyone knows she's gay for me anyway~"

"Remind me, _how_ did Professor Fall become a professor again?" Weiss inquired, irritated. "AND I WOULD NEVER GO WITH THAT NEPTUNE MORON"

"Ooooh, getting a little defensive over Ruby?" Yang teased, smiling. "Don't worry, we know you're bi, you don't have to-"  
"It's not that!" The heiress snapped. "It's just...do they honestly expect anyone, even _me, _to buy the fact that I get with Neptune after having only known him for six episodes- less, even?!

It's even less likely than their Jaune getting a hint and _kissing Pyrrha already_!"

Pyrrha stared at her. "Y-yeah! That sounds about right!"  
"Y-you agreed with her awfully quickly!" The knight was taken aback, blushing.

"Daaaaamn, Pyrrha. If Jaune won't take you, _I _will!" Yang wolf-whistled at Pyrrha's behind. "Woooow. They really blew the animation budget."

Pyrrha nodded solemnly at herself speaking about the difficulties of being popular. "Indeed."

"She speaks the truth." Winter nodded in agreement. "It is hard to to gain any meaningful relationships with anyone when everyone knows your name."

The spearmaiden stared at Jaune in a dress, almost drooling. "O-oh my..."  
"DAMN IT!" Jaune snapped. "I-I look like a girl! A GIRL!"

Ren rolled his eyes. "Jaune, you don't need a dress to look like a girl."

"Oooh, burn." Yang extended her fist for a fist bump with Ren.

Sun chuckled. "You know, how good are you at dancing, Jaune?"

"I am interested to see how well you dance now, personally." Winter chimed in, curious. "Miss Aspasia does not seem like the type to enjoy dancing."

"None of my sisters really are, but when your parents get invited everywhere by your crazy uncle, you tend to pick it up quickly."

"Still confused as to how Weiss has breasts." Blake remarked, causing her to receive a slap to the back of the head from an irritated Weiss.

"I AM A WOMAN EXACTLY LIKE YOU! OF COURSE I HAVE BREASTS!"

"And, just like my love life, those are a myth." Cinder teased her, with just a tint of bitterness.

"NOT YOU TOO, PROFESSOR FALL!"

Cinder whistled as she saw herself take on all the guards by herself. "...damn straight. I owned all of them. See? There's a reason I'm qualified to teach you people how to fight.

And I want one of those catsuits now! They really bring out my curves, you know."

"Yeah, I get to-oh, wait, heels!" Ruby pouted. "Dammit, heels! This is why I don't wear you!"

Cinder rested her head on her arms. "Dear, I kicked Grimm and Hunter backsides since before Ozpin became a teacher. I'm not a pushover- in class, I take it _easy_ on you."

* * *

"Excellent censoring, Glynda dear." Cinder chuckled. "I guess we'll never know what you thought they were measuring~"

"Military bravado, pfft!" Blake scoffed. "My mechs can take on crappy mook bots! Absolutely ridiculous."

"I'm loving this tension." Ren chuckled. "...and seriously?"  
"Oh yeah I remember when he mailed us Zwei..." Yang smiled, chuckling inwardly at her father's antics.

"At least that dog of yours didn't mess up the dorm like I thought he would." Weiss muttered, crossing her arms and blushing. "S-stupid dogs...they're not adorable...a-at all...

Blake looked around with some trepidation, her instinctive fear of dogs somewhat overriding her manly predilections. "Where is Zwei, anyway?"

"Uh..." Ruby held up a finger. "I kinda let him out to let him run around."

_Meanwhile..._

"This is a terrible idea." Norn uttered as she carried both Cerberus- Blake's pet Grimm- and Zwei under her arms, running away from a group of mad fangirls, waving Ren posters at her.

"Arf!" Zwei barked happily.

"HOW DID I GET DRAGGED INTO THIS?!" Glynda cried, running alongside them. "HOW?!"

_Back at the dorm..._

"Inspirational as always, Ozzie." Cinder clapped. "Inspirati-wait, Ruby, what are you doing?"  
"G-guys! Wait up! I think I saw myself!" The reaper cried. Weiss sighed.

"Well, of course, Ruby, this show is about us-"  
"N-no! I mean in the Atlas students! Back it up, Blake!"

Blake fumbled for the remote quickly, fastforwarding it back to the part where Ozpin mentioned Atlas. Ruby pointed a trembling finger at the screen.

"THERE! I'm in an Atlas uniform! No wait, two of me! I'm being cloned!"

Yang examined the screen closely. "Huh, you're right. Well, you can't expect them not to reuse your assets somewhere. They can't get a lot of money to do this- I mean, I know Rooster Teeth's _big_, but they're not exactly, say, Studio SHAFT or Studio Ghibli...

Bet you're loving this, huh, Weiss?"  
"Two...Rubys...h-huh?" The heiress stared at the brawler, blushing. "N-no I'm not!"

"Color my backside, when did _Nora _or _Valkyrie_ become a color? Hell, when did _Penny Polendina_ become a color?" Sun snapped.

"Nora is a perfectly legitimate color!" Nora cried. "It's a shade of pink and orange that looks cute!"

"Missions." Blake chuckled. "I remember when we used to do them."  
"You have one in, oh, the next couple of months." Cinder reminded them. "I was going to tell you guys in class about it tomorrow."  
"What, seriously?" Sun stared at her. "That's awesome!"  
"Wait, hang on." Weiss held up a finger. "I'm curious, you go _here_ in our world, but in the animation, you go to a place in Atlas...why's that?"  
"Heck if I know. My parents moved here."

Ren nodded. "Well, it's not as if every detail's going to be exactly the same."

"Also, we kinda wrote this before we found out Sun was from Atlas." Yang pointed out.

"What are you talking about?" Weiss stared at her strangely.

"Too extreme for first year students. Not too extreme for the people who the series is literally named after." Blake pointed out. "Aaaaand Ozpin knows everything about us despite us never telling him about anything we do off-campus.

Dumbledore, is that you?"

Velvet squealed. "I'm finally in the series! And my accent's perfect!"  
"...I thought you sounded more like a Brit than an Aussie." Yang pointed out. "Don't you?"  
"Nah, definitely Australian." Sun nodded, slurping up the last of the ramen. "It's all in the pitch. You guys have any more ramen? I'm starving."

"HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA YOU GOT OOBLECK YOUR LIFE SUCKS" Cinder laughed maniacally. "HAHAHAHHA!"

"Dust forbid I'm stuck in a camp with that man for weeks..." Weiss shuddered. "Dust _forbid_..."  
Jaune sighed. "Well, at least he isn't Port. He'd bore you to death with how he chased a mad Boarbartusk called 'Edgar' into a hole or something."

"Actor allusions, am I right?" Cinder piped up, giving the knight a knowing glance.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

* * *

"If he didn't earn his PhD for fun, then Gretchen Faust didn't earn her nineteen degrees in...I don't even know how she has nineteen degrees and still looks nineteen..." Cinder shuddered briefly at the thought of her colleague.

Sun returned from the kitchen with a fresh bowl of ramen. "Probably got it studying history or something."

"T-that's not fair!" Nora cried indignantly. "W-why do you guys get to blow stuff up?! I want to blow stuff up too!"  
"You already do that!" Weiss snapped. As if on cue, something in the distance blew up, and the unmistakable screaming of Dove Bronzewing was heard. Nora giggled.

"I know!"

"Nora, what did I tell you?" Ren rubbed his temples. "No antics today."  
"I couldn't help it! I just had to blow him up! I haven't blown anyone up today! You know how boring that is? It's like going without pancakes for one day!" The berserker cried. "Pancakes! You know how horrible that is?!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU CARRIED A DOG WITH YOU IN YOUR BAG" Weiss yelled. "YOU IDIOT! YOU COULD'VE KILLED HIM!"  
Ren rolled his eyes. "Please, Weiss. This is the Reactsverse, that's not how it works."  
"Weeeeeeee fight scene!" Ruby cheered. "Bunch of crappy Grimm aren't going to stop us!"

"Love how Zwei does absolutely nothing but run in place while his master blows stuff up." Sun chuckled. "What a dog, huh."  
"If you think Zwei can't handle a Grimm by himself, you should see what he can do..." Yang smirked. "Trust me, it's _messy_, but awesome!"

"I remember those!" Nora laughed. "I rode one of those into the dance! Port keeps one of them in a cage!"  
Cinder scratched her head. "I'm still not sure how he did that to this very day."

"Exposition time!" Yang announced. "And now that they bring it up, Mountain Glenn sounds suspiciously like the Halls of Moria..."  
Ren smiled. "And our heroes establish exactly _why_ they're heroes. Well, this'll probably be put to the test next season."

* * *

"Whoa, okay. Well, looks like Ironwood and Ozpin have a little bad blood here." Sun noted, nodding slowly at the screen.

"If I were to guess, it's because Ozpin stole Glynda from him." Cinder answered, in-between bites of her burrito. "What? He's totally into her."

Weiss rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, exasperated. "Yeah, Professor Fall, not everything is about relationships and love."  
"Dear, of course it is."

The heiress sighed solemnly at herself on screen, watching her discuss the reasons for her becoming a Huntress. "...thankfully, here, that wasn't necessary. My father is a good man."  
"He'd probably kill Canon!Weiss' dad's face, to be honest." Blake remarked. "I mean, from what's implied, he's a racist and probably the equivalent of the Mafia or something. If not worse."

"How you get so bad you piss off an organisation like the White Fang is beyond me." Jaune noted. "Hey, my shoulder feels funny..."  
"Mmm...Jaune..." Pyrrha was leaning on his shoulder, asleep. The knight blushed, frantically flailing around.

"G-gah! P-Pyrrha! Y-you're too close! TOO CLOSE!"

"QUIT ANGSTING!" Blake snapped at herself. "COME ON! YOU'RE A FREAKING NINJA GIRL! YOU'RE THE MOST BADASS GIRL! THE BEST WAIFU!"

Sun exhaled. "Y'know, Blake, maybe they made you angsty because an angsty character is more fun than one who goes around screaming about manliness all the time."  
"As if! I'm the best fanon Blake and everyone knows it!"

"Adventure? That's a _bad_ reason to be a Huntress?" Yang laughed, shaking her head. "Are you serious? That's...that's the BEST reason to be one!"

Winter frowned. "Zwei relieving himself outside...that cannot end well..."  
"With catlike tread, Ruby sneaks after the White Fang patrol!" Yang announced. "Wow, I'm seriously surprised they didn't find you.

Wait, your phone has no signal? Definitely not going to go well-aaaahhhh crap, you just fell into the Halls of Moria."

"Mountain Glenn..." Ren noted, slightly in awe.. "...wait, wait, Ruby, what are you doing?! You have super speed! Just PUNCH the guy with your Semblance, it's not like he's going to be able to catch you!"

Ruby frowned. "Oh come on! I've taken worse hits than being punched! That's not fair!"

"Powers as the plot demands. Or lack thereof." The brawler grumbled. "I hate that trope sometimes."  
"I hate that trope _now_!" The reaper whined. "It really sucks..."

Weiss sighed, hugging her tightly to her side. "Don't make that face, Ruby, you look like a whiny baby when you do..."

"B-but it's not faaaaair!"

* * *

"Now you think of doing that, me, now that you get captured, you chose to use their Semblance?" Ruby grumbled. "_Now_?!"

Cinder chuckled. "Torchwick, one thing. You really suck at being a villain. Not as cool as me, not as badass as Mercury.

Stylish, though, I'll give you."

Nora cheered. "Woo! Train stopping! This is going to be awesome!"

"Wait, wait, why are we scared of bombs if we're, you know, capable of surviving thousand-foot falls?" Yang pointed out. "Oooooh. That's why."

"Get the human? I resent that!" Blake snapped. "I'm,pretty clearly on their side too, you know!"

"Aaaaaaah crap, those things had GRIMM in them." Sun shuddered. "That.

Wow, Torchwick, you scum, you're just going to leave those guys to die. Way to be a good boss."

"Hope they got good dental." Ren muttered sardonically.

"At last, Zwei proved he was useful for something!" Nora declared. "And Oobleck isn't terrible at fighting! Woo-"  
"NEO YOU CHEATER YOU DIE NOW" Yang declared. "FIGHT LIKE A MAN"

The pyromancer sighed happily. "Oh, I remember her. Yeah, she's Emerald and Mercury's manager now...and damn, she's stylish here too.

I'm jealous."

"Finally, I get to kill a Schnee? What is this guy, a cartoon villain or something?" Weiss rolled her eyes, snorting. "And is he seriously stupid, trying to take me with a chainsaw?!"

"Wrecked, Roman. WRECKED!" Blake called out. "OWNED! EAT THAT! YES! CANON ME, YOU DID SOMETHING BADASS!"

Weiss stared at the screen, her eyelid twitching.

"...are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS? WHERE'S MY RED GLYPH?! I can take worse things than him! That's stupid! How did I lose to him so easily?! STUPID and UNFAIR! Are you serious?!"  
"What about me!? My force absorption Semblance should've absolutely blown Neo's face off!" Yang cried. "That's so stupid! Come on!"

Nora pouted at them both, looking irritated. "At least you guys got to fight awesomely, we were just stuck doing nothing..."

"...aaahhhh crap." Yang stared at the screen, along with everyone else. "...first time we failed..."

Sun held up a finger. "You'd think that people living in a kingdom attacked by shadow monsters would be a _bit_ less easy to invade, and the guys living in it a lot less, you know, easy to beat up..."

"Then they wouldn't need Hunters." Winter pointed out. "And Jaune, do you need help?"  
Jaune, who was trying to slowly get Pyrrha off of his shoulder without disturbing her, looked up at her and shook his head.

"M-me? No! Of course not! I'm just fine!" The knight waved at her, chuckling nervously. "Seriously!"  
"Mmmhnmmmm...J-Jaune-kun..." The spearmaiden mumbled in her sleep.

* * *

"FREAKING FINALLY!" Nora cried. "We get to fight! FINALLY!"  
Blake cheered. "Awesome fight scene again! And damn straight!"

"Oh come on!" Yang protested. "Did I just get owned by a bunch of crappy bird mooks?"

"YEAH! GET HAMMERED!" Nora whooped. "FORE!"  
Jaune sighed, exasperated. "Dammit, I just have a crappy sword and shield. Whatever shall I do?

Aaaaand I don't look like a complete wimp at last!"

Pyrrha smiled. "My training paid off, it seems."

"NOW YOU'RE AWAKE?!" The knight cried, exasperated. "Come on!"

"Emerald..." Cinder wolf-whistled. "...wooow."

"MORE OF ME!" Velvet cheered. "And Coco! W-wait, where's my axe? My beautiful axe..."

Yang looked indignantly at Coco. "Dammit! I'm the pervert around here, not you! Why is everyone stealing my thunder today?!"

"Right now, you can just _hear_ her shout 'CRY SOME MORE"." Sun remarked. "Wouldn't be unexpected..."

Cinder cheered. "Yes! Glynda! Hell yes! Aaaand everything is fixed...oh come on!"  
"I-I DIDN'T GET TO BLOW UP ANYTHING!" Nora complained. "WHAT GIVES?!"  
Ren rubbed his chin, suspicious. "...you know, this got resolved way too quickly. This is going to come back to bite them, I know it."  
"Yeah." Jaune nodded in agreement. "I had the same feeling too. That was way too abrupt."

"And now, we have the ominous council of vagueness." Yang whooped sarcastically. "Excellent. Can we have an explanation as to what's going on yet?"  
"Still sensing this bad blood between them..." Sun sighed, slurping up the last of his ramen. "I bet you anything he'll be a villain later."

"...you know, Torchwick's a lot of things, but easy to break isn't one of them." Cinder pointed out. "He won't talk."

"Adam. Joy." Blake rolled her eyes. "Could he be any _more_ stereotypical?

Bah. I kicked his backside already. I shouldn't be mad."

"Last I heard, he took off to try and learn how to kick yours, Blake." Sun noted. "You know, maybe he'll be strong enough to beat you one day."  
"As if." The catgirl scoffed. "Be realistic."

"Raven?" The brawler nodded. "Huh. Mysterious stuff."

Weiss crossed her arms. "I...liked it. It was a surprising improvement over the last volume."  
"Stop the presses!" Nora held her hands up. "Weiss Schnee _likes_ something!"  
"Be quiet, you! I-idiot, the ONE time I decide to compliment something-!"

Ruby giggled.

"Oh, come of it, Weiss. You know we tease you because we love you."  
"I seriously doubt Xiao Long loves me that much."

"You wound me..." Yang clutched at her chest, pretending to be offended.

And so, another afternoon in Beacon ensued, not of antics, but of talking and feasting between friends.

And Cinder, of course.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's that! Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Team Fortress 2!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	66. Weiss Reacts to Team Fortress 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Team Fortress 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, we're still around, and I'd like to announce, to all you fans of Remnant's Reclaimer, that ****Hysterical Clerical Hijinks**** has provided his/her permission to do a chapter on it! You may now praise my name, worship idols or statues of me, or attempt to kidnap me out of obsessive love to possess me for your very own; rest assured, there isn't a huge queue, if any, for that.**

**Anyway, I also just realised, we are almost 35 chapters away from the end of Volume 2! That's right, nearly there. Which means climactic arcs and such to get excited over.**

**Anyway, let's get this chapter on the road! I also take no responsibility for failure to reflect accurate gameplay of TF2, in part due to the fact that I almost only ever play on boss fight servers. Apologies in advance!**

**Also, ****The Zombineer, ****this one's for you.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Ren's mother would be a ninja (thanks, ****Half-Blind Otaku****, for the inspiration)!**

**Team Fortress 2 belongs to Valve.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Warning for spoilers.**

* * *

Blake twitched, putting down her tablet. She clenched her fist, starting to shake angrily.

"...that...that fool!" She slapped the desk with her fist, causing Yang to look over at her, concerned.

"Eh, Blakey?"  
"T-this person..." The catgirl pointed angrily at the screen on the tablet. "T-this..._counterpart_ of mine claims to have made the first AI!"

Yang looked closely at the screen, studying the text. "Alright...hey, I love this fic!"  
"READ IT!"  
"Alright, alright!" The brawler responded hurriedly. "No need to get your panties in a twist...

...Yui from SAO? Wouldn't be my first choice. I'd probably play Aigis for an AI-"  
"...and she's an accursed _moeblob_." Blake growled. "...curse her kind and curse her!"

"You're still sore about Hokuago Tea-Time, aren't you?"  
"They still shouldn't have won, but t-that isn't the point!" The catgirl snapped angrily, glaring intensely at Yang.

"The point is, this fool thinks that her stupid AI is better than the three mecha I've created, the series of personal assistant robots I ended up making, and the unique engines that I PATENTED, that I constructed _POWERED OFF PEOPLE'S AURA_!"

Yang sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder to put her down slightly. "Blake, then why are you getting so mad? You've done twice as much as this other Blake's done."  
The catgirl twitched, irritated. Yang actually took a step back, somewhat unnverved.

"You think this is some kind of _game_?! This is a challenge! A CHALLENGE!" Blake declared. "And one I plan to answer with my own AI!"  
"Wait, what-" Yang started, but Blake was already standing up.

"Yang! Ready the Catcave!"  
"I thought we agreed, we weren't ripping off Batman!" Yang complained, before remembering something. "Actually...hang on a minute."

"What do you want?"

Yang smirked mischievously, a glint appearing in her eyes. "You see, Weiss is trying out Team Fortress 2. She loves playing with Rubes...but-"  
"That explains why she's been strangely less violent lately." Blake nodded slowly. "Carry on."  
"You see...I'm scared she might actually be..." The brawler swallowed. "...better than _me_ at it."  
Blake stared at her, shocked. "..._Weiss_, beating _you_ in a game?!"

"She beat me in Mafia and Civilization!" Yang complained, sighing. "That's why I'm scared that if she beats me in this too, I'll never hear the end of it! It'll be the END of Antics! The _END_!"

Blake started rubbing her chin, curious. "...and you want me to make an AI that beats her at it?"

"Yes." The brawler smiled, confident. "I'm glad we see eye to eye. I want her to be unbeatable at most-if not all- games."  
"Heh. As it so happens, an associate of mine provided me with the basic framework for a skilled game-playing AI that might be able to do just the job you might be looking for."

"Which associate? Nagato or Fujisaki?"  
"Fujisaki."

"Oh, not related to the Antic Order." Yang frowned. "Shame. Suzumiya could've used her connections-"  
Blake chuckled. "I doubt she of all people would agree unless she got something out of it.

Give me three days. I'll have your AI for you."

"...wait, wait." Yang held up a finger, before passing her a slip of paper with several links.  
"I want you to model the AI after her. Use these to get a sense of her."  
"Why?" The catgirl raised an eyebrow as her eyes pored over the links.

"Well, one, so we have a rival for 'person-like AI' in our world, and two, because why not? This girl called _HinaNamiFan_ on this one Fire Emblem forum introduced that game to me." Yang chuckled. "Please, Blakey? For me? I know you love me~"  
Blake blushed slightly. "N-not that much...wait, hang on. What do I get in exchange?"

Yang crossed her arms, thinking quickly. "...hm.

Well, Blake, I can get you an in with the Antic Order. You always wanted to meet Zelretch, right?"  
Blake stared at her in amazement. "Y-you'd do that?!"

"If you get me an AI that can beat Weiss."

The catgirl grinned. "Alright, get me a meeting with O-Zelretch-sama and I'll get you your AI."

"Done deal." Yang chuckled, pumping her fist. "Operation Take Weiss Down A Notch is a-go!"

* * *

_Three days later..._

Weiss smirked at Yang, crossing her arms. In front of her on the computer screen was a successful end-of-game screen. Weiss' class was Medic, with ten successful Ubercharges, one death and twenty kills, along with dominations on two of the enemy team, along with multiple assists from healing.

"Well, Xiao Long?" The heiress inquired smugly. Yang clapped condescendingly

"My, nice work...for an amateur."

"Amateur? This is better than how you've ever done in a game." Weiss declared. "Just admit it, I would beat you at this game."

Yang grinned. "So, you're a pro at this game, are you?"  
"I wouldn't go so far as to say that." The heiress pointed out, looking up smugly. "After all, that would be vain of me, and I am nothing if not humble."

Ruby raised a finger. "She has a point. Weiss finally found a game she didn't ragequit from."

"Alright!" The brawler cracked her knuckles. "You're on, Scout v Scout, stock weapons only."

The heiress smirked. "Alright. 2Fort?"

"The only map deserving of such a competition." Yang announced proudly. "You know I wouldn't have it any other way!"

Weiss stretched her fingers, exhaling. "Alright, Xiao Long. Let's prove who's better at this game."

_Minutes later, on 2Fort..._

Yang and Weiss stared intensely at each other, then at their screens, clicking furiously as they circled the map, hiding and trying to get the drop on each other.

"Heh. Smooth moves for a newbie." Yang giggled. Weiss didn't miss a beat.

"This newbie happens to be thrashing you nine to one on flags."

Weiss' Scout was hovering around the bridge, waiting for Yang to show up from her base and taunting while she was waiting. Meanwhile, Yang's ran underneath the bridge and through the water, hoping to get the drop on her.

"Yes, come on..." The brawler muttered. "Almost there..."

'_I'll sneak up behind her from the basement and blast her away. That should break her concentration long enough to-'_  
"Gotcha."

The moment Yang popped out from the stairs, Weiss blasted her repeatedly with the scattergun, scoring several critical hits and ending her with a shot to the head.

The brawler smacked her bed. "Damn it!"  
Weiss smirked. "Is that all?"

"No, no, not over yet..." Yang muttered quickly. "Come on, there's a minute left, I can still score ONE kill on you!"

"I doubt it." Weiss' had her Scout's back turned to the entrance from the bridge, as Yang's ran over the roof of the bridge.

'_I'll blast her twice in the back and nail her with the bat. That SHOULD work_, _even if I don't cap the last flag, I can still claim more kills..._'

With a battle cry, the brawler sent her Scout into battle, double-jumping from the roof and at Weiss, blasting her twice in the back, landing one crit.

The heiress whirled around, and blasted her into the water with her own scattergun, before leaping in and battering her to death with her baseball bat.

_You failed_, the announcer called on Yang's screen, as the tell-tale critical sparkling of victory sounded from Weiss' screen.

Yang sighed, staring at the respawn screen as Weiss laughed, pumping her fist and cheering.

"There's a reason this game is called _Team_ Fortress, y'know..." Yang pointed out. The heiress giggled.

"What, sore that I beat you at something, fair and square?"  
Ruby nodded at Yang's point. "Yeah, we really need to get everyone to play a proper game of this-"

"Alright!" The brawler stood up suddenly. "Since you insist that you're good at this game, let me introduce you to a good friend of mine.

Ever heard of someone called Chiaki Nanami? Best gamer in all of Vytal?"

"...doesn't ring a bell, no." Weiss squinted. "She an anime character or something?"

"Eh, they always say that about her." Yang stated. "She's, erm, a good friend of mine, so to speak."

"Never heard of her." The heiress muttered suspiciously.

Ruby inquired, curious. "Wasn't she from that-"  
"Shush, Rubes!" The brawler snapped uncharacteristically harshly.

Weiss looked curiously at her. "What was that?"  
The brawler giggled, rubbing Ruby's head rather roughly. "Ignore Ruby, she's getting stuff confused! Hehehehe!"

'_Damn it, Rubes, you're killing my prank! I need her not to be suspicious or else three days of preparation for this will go to waste..._'

"...I'm not liking this. Who is she and why are you bringing her up?"  
"A gamer friend of mine, goes by the tag 'Ultimate Gamer' or 'Super High-School Level Gamer'. She loves games, and she's never failed to clear a single one. She LOVES TF2, too."

"How do I know this 'Chiaki' isn't from the stupid Antic Order or one of our gamer friends?" The heiress squinted. Yang sighed.

"Very well, I'll have her up on DustChat. She's the best gamer I know." Yang admitted. "Better than me."  
"Better than you in Team Fortress 2 terms isn't amazing." The heiress reminded her.

Ruby, meanwhile, rubbed her chin.

"Ultimate Gamer, Ultimate Gamer...I know I've heard that thing somewhere..."

"...alright." Weiss cracked her knuckles, confident. "So, you're offering that me and Chiaki fight, yes?"  
"To prove how good you are." Yang completed for her, nodding slowly. "If you beat her, you're the best gamer I know, and you have the right to get back at me for any one antic I have ever done upon you."  
Weiss' eyes glittered at the opportunity. "Get back at you? And all I have to do is beat your friend?

You must be confident that she can beat me."

"Very much so." The brawler extended her hand. "Thief's honor. You beat her, you're entitled to one hit on me, redeemable at any time."

"You're on." The heiress shook her hand firmly. She chuckled.

'_Heh. This Chiaki girl hasn't met a Schnee like me. I will surely win- no mere mortal can beat me in this game! This game will be conquered for the Schnee Empire, and not even this self-supposed Ultimate Gamer can beat me!_

_Yang's fallen for her own scam, hook, line-_

* * *

_-and sinker._' Blake thought, on the phone to Yang. Weiss was inside, waiting for the call from 'Chiaki'.

"She fell for the bait- she thinks that Chiaki's a real person." Yang stated. "You got all the routines and the stuff in?"

"Yes. I even took the advantage of downloading her voice files from your copy of the game to make her sound legit." Blake chuckled. "It was child's play to make everything else. She's set up for video chat, too. Nanami V0.92, courtesy of our friend, is up and ready for battle."  
"Perfect." The brawler nodded. "I'm calling her account now. Be sure to ready her up."

"Alright. You had better get me my meeting with O-Zelretch-sama."  
"Relax, Blakey, I will."

...

Yang walked back in holding her laptop up to show Weiss her screen. It was on DustChat, and she'd called Nanami on video.

Weiss laughed. "So you weren't lying. Chiaki exists after all."

Yang smiled ominously. "Why would I lie? It's not like I can just make up a person from whole cloth."

"Norn and Vivi prove otherwise."

"Point taken."

The video call flickered into action, as Weiss stared at her opponent-to-be.

Her face was somewhat round, with pale skin induced from constantly being indoors- presumably from gaming- and pale pink hair, barely reaching down to her shoulders. Her eyes were half closed, and Weiss could see her eyes were of the same color as her hair.

She swore she'd seen this girl before, but she hadn't remembered where.

"Hey, Nanami-san." Yang whistled. "Wake up!"  
"Hunh..." The girl slowly awoke, blinking briefly as she took stock of her surroundings. "...oh. I'm in a DustChat call?"

"Yes, remember? You wanted to meet my friend, Weiss?"

Chiaki slowly nodded, realising what was going on. "...oohhhh. Hello, Weiss." She gave her a small smile, before yawning. "Sleepy..."

"Good day to you." The heiress greeted back. "So. I hear you're good at TF2?"  
"I wouldn't say I'm that good..." She responded. "But they do say that about me...I think."

Weiss crossed her arms. "Curious. Your Steam profile even says you've cleared the achievements."

Yang giggled. She'd actually owned the fake account Chiaki was to use for this prank- she'd cleared it years ago and decided to loan it out to her for the sake of this operation; right down to redoing the profile and changing the name.

"Oh yeah...alright." She nodded. "..."

"...is there something you wish to-"  
"You want to have a one versus one with me on a co-operative game?"  
"...I suppose, yes." Weiss nodded. "Yang here doesn't seem to think I can beat you."

"Alright. Let's go..."

Yang rubbed her hands together. "Excellent. Prepare to eat your words, Schnee."  
"Prepare to eat humble pie, Xiao Long. Your reign of antics ends here!"

* * *

_On 2Fort..._

Weiss cracked her knuckles, looking to her opponent. "So, first one to capture two flags."

"Yep, sounds good to me...I think."

Yang and Ruby sat back, watching Weiss get ready to fight.

Ruby was still unsure. "I still think I know her name..."  
"Shush, Rubes." Yang commanded somewhat softly. "Let's see if Weiss wins. I'm personally betting on Nanami."  
"Why?" The reaper tilted her head. "You know Weiss is ridiculously hard to beat in any game she's really good at, right?"  
"Oh, you don't know Nanami like I do, then."

The set-up phase ended, and Weiss, on the Soldier class, got ready to fight. She immediately ran out to the battlements, pulling off a rocket-jump towards the enemy battlements on the RED side.

'_Simple plan, head in, blow up Chiaki, get the flag, rinse and repeat._' The heiress plotted. _'Not so-_'

The heiress was interrupted rather brutally by several explosions reducing her to mush. Chiaki had been standing behind the entrances, having blown her to bits with a rocket launcher.

"...l-lucky shot." The heiress muttered as she respawned. "Alright, let's do this, properly this time.

CHAAARGE-"

As soon as Weiss exited the respawn room, her opponent blew her up with three well-aimed rockets. The heiress' eyelid twitched.

"...again?"

"Shush." Chiaki warned her harshly. "Trying to play a game. Quit talking."

_The enemy has secured the intelligence_.

"Seriously?" The heiress grumbled, sighing and switching to Pyro. "Okay, if you insist..."

Weiss immediately awaited her at the closest exit point from the intelligence area, flamethrower in hand.

'_I'll just airblast her projectiles at her! Surely that cannot be beaten by her, right?_'

"Alright, here goes!" The heiress roared. "COME ON! FACE THE WRATH OF THE-"

It was not three seconds before Chiaki rounded the corner with the glowing-blue intelligence and shut her down again, this time shooting her down with a shotgun. She ran past the heiress' dead body, running off to her base to submit the intelligence.

_You failed. The enemy has secured our intelligence._

Weiss stared at the screen. "One to-"

"See?" Yang smirked. "Told you Nanami was-"

"T-this is just a temporary set-back!" The heiress cried. "I'll beat her!"

'_Different tack. This time, set up in the intelligence room with the Engineer. Surely she cannot beat a dispenser and a sentry!_'

So it was that the heiress camped in the intelligence room, just waiting and daring her opponent to attack her impenetrable defences.

"Come on, come on..." Weiss drummed her fingers on the desk. "Come at me, co-OH COME ON!"

She was backstabbed and her sentries sapped. Chiaki ran past her again, stealing the intelligence for the second time.

'_Are you serious?!_' The heiress mentally raged. '_She shouldn't...j-just what kind of gamer is this girl?!'_

As soon as she respawned, she attempted to give chase using her Scout class, but it was no use. By the time she'd realised her opponent had gone through the bridge, it was too late.

_You failed. The enemy has secured our intelligence._

Yang merely smirked at Weiss, chuckling. "Too good to be true, eheh?"

"B-be silent! I can still pull this back!" The heiress concentrated carefully on the screen, trying to tune out Yang.

'_Alright, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I'll just use HER tactics. Soldier, blow her up and so on. I'll sneak under her base and this should work.'_

Weiss determinedly snuck underneath the bridge towards the RED base, rocket at the ready to blow her opponent to bits if needed.

"That's it, that's it..." The heiress giggled somewhat maniacally. "I will win this game, I will win..."

Ruby reached out. "Weiss...you're a little too..."

"BE SILENT I WILL WIN"

The heiress finally got to the intelligence room. No defences of any kind were present, and she even launched rockets at the likely spots for Spies to be. Weiss exhaled.

"I will be victorious! I WILL BE-"  
_Alert. The enemy has taken our intelligence._

"What, how?!" Weiss glared at the screen, before hurriedly looking around. "Come on, Chiaki, show your face, show you-"

The last kill of the game was Chiaki's Scout appearing from the sideward entrance to the intelligence room, blasting her away with several crit shots from the scattergun as she carried the intelligence to her own.

_You failed._

Yang smirked. "I guess you don't get to get back at me, huh."

"Good..._yawn_...game..." Chiaki congratulated the heiress, whose eyelid began twitching.

"I...I lost..."

"...don't worry, Weiss..." Ruby patted her on the back. "You'll win next time..."  
"Hey hey." The gamer smiled at Weiss. "You'll get...better. There's always a second time... I think-"  
"I DEMAND a rematch!" The heiress cried. "This time, I will beat you and Yang will no longer brag!"

Yang crossed her arms. "Only if she's fine with it."  
"I'm always...ready for gaming..." The girl replied sleepily. "... what map?"  
"Double Cross." Weiss cracked her knuckles. "I'm sure you won't be able to beat me-"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"SCREW THIS GAME!" Weiss stood up, angered. Yet again, Chiaki had beaten her without taking a single death or loss of intelligence.

"...you don't have to be so mad..." Her opponent offered kindly.

"S-shut up! D-damn you, Xiao Long! DAMN YOU!"

With that, the heiress stormed out, muttering forcefully to herself. Yang laughed.

"That completely worked! And the status quo has been restored!" The brawler concluded. "Thanks, Nanami, you've been a great help. I'll leave you to gaming now, eh?"

"Thank you. Have a nice day..." With a yawn, she hung up, and Ruby stared at Yang curiously.

"...she's an AI, isn't she."  
Yang smiled. "Oh, Ruby. You never cease to amaze me. How could you tell?"  
"Her skin was too...perfect," The reaper stated. "Also, she was...from that one visual novel you got into recently, wasn't she?"_  
"..._damn it, Ren." The brawler cursed jokingly. "...yes, she's an AI. I used her to troll Weiss. I had Blake base her off that character to make her seem more legit."

"Why?"  
"For the lulz. Why do I do anything?" Yang stated, shrugging. "Plus, Blake wanted her a new AI to compete with one of her counterparts in another fanfic, so she decided to get one.

I decided to piggyback on that plan."

Ruby frowned. "You know, it wouldn't kill you to lighten up on Weiss..."  
"Yes, but it's just so fun to see her ragequit!" The brawler complained, before sighing.

"...fine, I'll make it up to her, since you asked so nicely. I'll get her some of that nice vanilla sorbet she likes from the Schnee Creamery."

Ruby smiled brightly. "I knew you would do it."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Chiaki and Super Dangan Ronpa 2 belong to Spike Chunsoft. Retroactive spoiler warning for chapters 5 and 6 of SDR2.**

**A/N: And so, we now have our very own adorable true AI. Yui, eat your heart out.**

**Now-STINGER**

* * *

_Hours later, down in Blake's mech hangar..._

"...heh. So the tests with Nanami were a success." Blake giggled as Yang regaled her with just how easily her AI had beaten Weiss.

"Not a scratch. That was well played."

Yang nodded, smiling. "Yep. It seems we've created the exact opposite of Weiss- the ultimate gamer to beat the ultimate anti-gamer.

So...I'm curious."

"Hum?"  
"You say this Fujisaki guy, who set you up with the stuff for Nanami trusted you with her code."

"Yes."  
"That implies you're either great friends or you've made one before and know how to handle them."

Blake smiled knowingly. "So, you figured it out.

Nanami is the second AI I made, even if she's not wholly my work."

Yang's eyes widened. "Wait, wait, you made a second one?!"

The catgirl nodded in accord. "Indeed, I made one before her.

Would you like me to show you where it's currently stored?"

Yang nodded eagerly. "Please, I want to know what this one is!"

The catgirl grabbed on some nearby tarp. "Alright. Feast your eyes.

I've been working on this project ever since we ended the Great Antic War. I realised that had nothing to counter air assaults like Glynda's Bullhead, so I...made one of my own.

I introduce to you...my newest project."

She swept off the tarp from the project. Yang stared at it, eyes wide in amazement.

"...holy Dust. That is _awesome._"

"It's not yet fully operational. I have no doubt that Project YAMATO will do far better than a Bullhead ever will. Perhaps even space travel might be achievable, if I can just work some things out with the hull plating.

Of course, it's not a final name. I have a...better one in mind than YAMATO."

* * *

**There you have it. Kids, feel free to take note, you know how I am with Chekhov's Gunmen. Giving a character a name in this fic is basically saying 'THIS GUY WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER'.**

**Also, Project YAMATO is not a mecha. All I have to say. And it's not as obvious as you think.**

**Next time, we'll be doing ****oobidoobi's**** Paternal Message series, courtesy of the great artist him/herself over on DeviantArt. And yes, we will be doing Mann versus Machine and a proper, RWBY versus JNPR team game at a later date. As well as the trailers.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	67. Special Chapter: Paternal Message!

**Jaune Reacts to Paternal Messages!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! A little perspective change here. Heh, I'm personally surprised that you people are so surprised Yang used Nanami to beat Weiss in a game- she's done worse, after all. However, that doesn't at all rule out Weiss getting revenge on Yang at all. She'll probably get revenge. This will be fun. A shout out to ****oobidoobi**** for letting us use their story for this chapter, and go look at their gallery over on DeviantArt if you have time!**

**However, let it saved for another time. For now, Jaune must suffer. Which will be fun.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Nora would have her own tank to drive and it would be awesome.**

**Paternal Messages belongs to ****oobidoobi****, over on DeviantArt.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_In JNPR dorm..._

"Oh come on!" Nora cried, smacking her armrest as she placed down her controller after a game of Mario Kart. "Unfair! Ridiculous and unfair!"

Ren didn't even look up from his book. "What is it now, Nora?"  
"S-some person just...just blitzed past me with a normal kart and no modifications!" Nora cried. "T-that's ridiculous!"

Ren blinked, looking up at the screen to see what the girl was talking about.

True to Nora's words, the berserker was in second place, with the first person being a player by the name of 'Nanami', using an unmodified kart and a pink-haired female Mii. She was currently doing a victory lap, having managed to comfortably beat Nora by what appeared to be a whole two minutes.

Ren tilted his head. "Huh. Maybe she's just better than you."  
"T-that should be impossible!" The berserker cried . "R-Reeeeen! Huuuug me! I need hugs to make me caaaaaalm!"

The gunslinger sighed, closing his book. "Nora, you know you don't need a hug every time something goes wrong-"  
"OF COURSE I DO I NEED HUGS I'M IN NEED OF COMFORT FROM BEING BEATEN!"

Jaune walked into the dorm, interrupting them. He was followed by Winter, who looked around and waved softly at Nora. Pyrrha looked up at her, suspicious.

"Winter." The spearmaiden uttered. "What are you doing here?"

"Winter's having her dorm fumigated again. Her admirers sent her too much chocolates again." Jaune explained. "So she's staying here for the afternoon."

"I apologise for the inconvenience." Winter stated, bowing her head. "I am afraid that I will have to make use of your residence for today."  
Ren smiled. "Sure. Won't have too much of a problem with that, will we, Pyrrha?  
"Huh?" Pyrrha tilted her head, glaring at the gunslinger. "Of course I-"  
Ren's smile suddenly seemed to gain an ominous quality to it. Pyrrha's indignation suddenly seemed to fade.

"...of course I'd be...happy that Winter is sharing space with Jaune!" The spearmaiden smiled, her eyelid somewhat twitching. "I would love to have her in here with us."  
Nora cheered. "YAY! Now we can share pancakes and partake of the Sloth God's holy food!"

Winter chuckled softly. "I am not hungry, but I thank you for the hospitality, Miss Valkyrie."

The knight rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "Well, uh, Winter, I don't think we have that much here. Nora's called the Wii for the whole day, and I don't suppose you're all too interested in reading fanfiction-"

"Actually, I would love to read fanfiction with you." The lady corrected him, smiling. "We should make do with what we have, should we not?"  
"Yeah." Jaune nodded, laughing. "I suppose if you think of it like that..."  
"I, too, would like to read fanfiction with Jaune!" Pyrrha stood up, standing next to his computer.

Jaune realised exactly what was happening.

"Oh, Pyrrha, it's not like that!"

"Not like what?" The spearmaiden and the lady both stared at him. Ren chuckled.  
"Jaune, you're screwed."  
"...dammit…..." The knight sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Never mind, never mind. Just let me log on so I can see what's for reading, okay?

By the way, Winter, we didn't make anything since we didn't think you'd be coming, but apart from Nora's pancakes, we have some stuff in the fridge."

Winter nodded. "I see. Thank you."

Jaune sat down in front of his computer as Pyrrha followed suit, sitting next to him quite closely.

'_I don't know how the likes of Ranma and Tenchi deal with this...' _The knight reflected.

Stretching his fingers, the knight logged onto his DustFiction profile and started looking around.

"Alright, Just In...hm-huh? I have a new message?" The knight raised an eyebrow as he checked his messages.

Sitting in his inbox was a short message, saying 'Please Read This' from a user Jaune had never seen before, sitting atop piles of links to trollfics and Jaune/Pyrrha lemons Yang had sent him.

"...who is LovelyLeKappa?" Pyrrha tilted her head. "I don't know anyone who uses that name."  
"Me neither...I wonder what they want..." Jaune clicked on the message to see what this person had sent him.

* * *

**From: LovelyLeKappa**

Alright. I think you might like this story. It's funny, and pretty close to you, too.

It's called 'Paternal Messages'. It's hosted over on another site- the name slips my mind- and it's more a comic than a story, but I think you might really like it.

Signed, LLK

* * *

"...I don't know whether to be suspicious or flattered..." Jaune scratched his head. "...this is, er, kinda out of the blue."

Nora looked over at the monitor, shoving sloth-shaped pancakes into her mouth. "READ IT! IT MIGHT BE FUN!"  
"That's what I'm afraid of, knowing _your_ idea of fun..." The knight closed his eyes. "...you know, I've got nothing to lose, and it doesn't look like it's going to be a troll fic like that one you liked-"  
"That was the best fic ever!" The berserker cheered. "I blew people up and stuff!"  
Pyrrha shuddered. "You did horrible things..."

"IT WAS FUN!"

Winter tilted her head. "Huh? What was fun-"

Ren, Jaune and Pyrrha simultaneously raised their hands to stop her.

"YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!"

Nora pouted at them, indignant. "You guys are so boring..."

"It must be similar to the many incidents my sister does not want me to know that involved Miss Xiao Long..." The lady noted pensively. "...alright. I will take your word for it."

Jaune sighed in relief, wiping his brow in relief. "That was too close."  
"A repeat of the Trolled Weiss Incident is not one we can afford right now." Ren hissed. "The collateral damage from her rampage took days to clean up..."

The knight nodded, shuddering from remembering the disaster. "Indeed...that's why we're never showing Nora a trollfic again..."  
"You guys are boring..." The berserker crossed her arms, pouting in the corner. "Unfair..."

Jaune exhaled, before turning back to the screen. "Alright...well, let's see about this 'Paternal Messages' series thing.

I'm hoping it's not a trap, but I'm not liking my luck here..."

Winter smiled as she took a seat next to him. "You may as well take a risk, Mister Jaune. I doubt someone would be so malicious as to deliberately link you to something that you would not like."  
Ren snickered at the remark.

"Why, then, Miss Schnee, you must not be used to how things work in the rest of the Academy."

Jaune nodded slowly. "You have a point...very well."  
He swallowed nervously.

"Let's...investigate this...series. Let's see if it's any good."

With that, Jaune searched up the name with much trepidation.

* * *

As it turned out, the series was legit. It was over on an art site, and it appeared to be a comic series, from what Jaune could see. He sighed, nodding.

"Alright, let's see if it's any good..." He opened up the page, staring closely at the comic.

All in all, it was fairly well drawn, mainly pencil-drawn, if a bit rough on the edges. There were a couple of mistakes, here and there, but it was of good quality.

Jaune chuckled. "Oh dear, my dad drunk-texting me..."

"How can you tell?"  
"He mispelled my name." The knight sighed. "I know, my actual dad does that all the time. Granted, he talks about 'manliness' and 'heroism' when he gets drunk, but...

WAIT WHAT HE PUT ME IN AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WHEN HE WAS DRUNK?!"  
Winter sighed. "This cannot bode well. I fear for your wellbeing in this story."

"Who is this Cindy your father is pairing you with?!" Pyrrha inquired. "How dare he? Does he not know that he has to pass her through your friends first to see if she would be a good match for you?"  
Ren smirked. "Pyrrha, are you jealous of a-"  
"CINDER?!" Jaune's eyes widened as 'Cindy's' identity was revealed. "WHAT?!"  
"Dear, I'm not into little boys."

"GAH!" Jaune stepped back as Cinder smiled at him, having been watching from behind them. Pyrrha stared at her.

"P-Professor Fall! When did you get here?!"  
"I heard people talking about me." The pyromancer sighed. "I just saddled Roman with all my paperwork again and went down to check."  
"The staff room is on the other side of the school." Winter pointed out. Cinder pouted.  
"D-don't question me! I-I'm a ninja! I can have dreams too!"

"You're our teacher and yet you still act like a kid..." Jaune sighed as she stared back at the screen. "...and I'm surprised _I'm_ not doing a spit-take here."  
Cinder studied the artist's illustration of her.

"...hm. My chest's a little too small, and my dress isn't revealing enough...but it's pretty good." The pyromancer smiled.

"Perfect."

Winter frowned. "I do not understand...Jaune's father seems to be rushing into this far too quickly for my taste.

I am uncomfortable with the idea of him being married off...but...I do not understand why."  
Ren facepalmed.

"Oh dear Dust, Winter."

...

"Alright, well, my mom is accurate." Jaune noted. "She'd probably kill my dad for trying to pimp me out. Along with the people who he pimped me out to.

Winter breathed in deeply.

"That is hardly a nice way to treat one's son, using them as a way to pay one's debt in gambling."

"Hayate knows that pain." Ren muttered. "And woooow. You nailed Ruby AND Weiss' mothers?"

Winter stared at him. "That would be my mother you speak of too. And I assure you that she is happily married to my father."  
Cinder rubbed her chin, chuckling at the idea of Yin Xiao Long, Summer Rose and Freya Schnee lusting after Jaune.

"Long as he doesn't touch Glynda, I'm happy. Glynda's _mine_~"

Nora whistled.

"Awwwwkwwaaaard."

Pyrrha twitched. "I doubt anyone that old would be interested in Jaune, even if he is...handsome..."

"Right, onto the next one!" Jaune declared. "...I really don't think I want to read the next one."

Ren rolled his eyes. "Jaune, just do it. You might as well.

You have a guest to entertain."

Winter nodded. "Even if these comics...make me feel...something that I do not quite understand."

...

Jaune smiled fondly at the mention of his mother's quirks.

"And that's totally mom, alright. A little embarrassing, but she's kind."

"And hot." Cinder whistled. "You ever figure out why your mom wears a bikini all the time?"  
Jaune blushed. "P-Professor Fall, that's my mom you're talking about...and...she says it's because it makes her faster or something..."

Pyrrha nodded slowly. "Such a rationale for speed would normally make no sense, but she needs all the lack of weight she can find.

Her weapon's skills lie in long-range combat, do they not?"  
"True." Ren nodded.

Cinder grinned. "Although, considering her figure, one might think she's trying to use something _else_ to distract her enemies..."

Winter nodded slowly. "I do not see why he doesn't simply seek someone closer to his own age to pair you with."  
"Yes, someone who has always been at your side and protects you..." Pyrrha completed for her quickly.

"...good Dust, you got the Malachites too." Ren noted, laughing. "And Pyrrha's jealous."  
"Jealous? The Malachites are no threat to me or Jaune." The spearmaiden retorted. "They are hardly interested in him."

Winter nodded quickly. "After all, are they not interested in other people?"  
Cinder chuckled at both girls. "Oh dear..."

"I'm surprised he hasn't nailed Nora yet." Cinder noted. Nora glomped Ren furiously, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Ren's the only one for me! He will have my babies! MY BABIES!"

The gunslinger blushed. "Err, Nora. I don't think we should be talking about-"  
"NONSENSE! I'M PROUD OF BRAGGING ABOUT THE MOTHER OF MY BABIES TO EVERYONE ELSE! THE MOTHER OF MY SLOTHSPAWN!"

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Slothspawn?"

"Don't ask." Pyrrha answered. "We learn just not to question Nora when she says things like this."

* * *

"Jaune Arc, the Ultimate Waifu." Cinder remarked. "He cooks! He cleans! He sews!"

Jaune blushed, twiddling his fingers. "My mother taught me all these skills to help out with my sisters...

Artemisia and Aspasia always managed to tear their clothing up and Lucy always got into fights..."

Pyrrha held his arm strongly. "I will have to make use of his services! He is my friend, after all!"

Winter gazed over at her, smiling. "Miss Nikos, you can hardly stake a claim to Mister Jaune on that basis alone.

Besides, what if his...other friends wish to avail of his services?"

Cinder sighed. "Girls, you do not have to argue over him, there's enough Jaune for everyone."  
"D-dammit, I'm not a commodity you can just TRADE!"

Ren chuckled.

"I don't think you have a say on this, Jaune."  
"Dammit, why me?!" The boy placed his face in his hands.  
"Can I just NOT be a chick magnet in something that isn't the show for once?! It really sucks..."

Nora stuck her tongue out.

"Just gotta deal with it! And besides, it's funny!"  
"TO EVERYONE WHO ISN'T ME!"

...

Cinder crossed her arms, shaking her head.

"Hah. As if you girls have any chance. Everyone knows Jaune's going to marry me instead~"  
"E-Eh? Not you too, Professor Fall!"

"I could be lying about not being interested in you, you know~" The pyromancer winked. "You're not that young, and I'm not that old~"  
"G-gah!"

Pyrrha glared at Cinder. "No."

"Dear," the pyromancer started. "If I was serious about Jaune, there's not a thing in the world yo-"

Pyrrha's glare intensified. Cinder stopped, swallowing.

She felt as if the girl's stare was actually piercing through her, peering into her very soul and stabbing icy-cold daggers into her.

"Eheh...I wasn't serious. Heh. It was a joke."

The spearmaiden stared at her for a couple of moments before nodding. "I would assume so, Professor."

Ren laughed. "I can't believe the only thing they think about is that they've got a chance to make you dad marry them to you instead of Cinder and not that marrying you off to anyone without your consent is, y'know, kind of insensitive."

Jaune sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

"That seems to happen to me a lot, with or without my dad."

* * *

Cinder clapped.

"And so, exactly like in our world, Jaune's parents are secretly Kamina and Yok-I mean,a king and queen."

"I told you guys, my parents AREN'T Kamina and Yoko!" Jaune snapped. "Just because BLAKE claims that my dad is actually the reincarnation of a _completely_ fictional anime character and that my mother _looks, sounds and fights_ exactly like Yoko doesn't make them that!"

Ren looked aside. "Oh, I don't know about that, Jaune, but, if you insist."  
"THANK you, Ren. For once, you agree with me!"

Winter rubbed her chin. "Royalty...the Schnee Family in this world would likely be paying hard through the nose, so to speak, to get a chance at marrying one of their daughters off to you."

"You, for example?" Ren inquired.

"Not me. I do not have any interest in Mister Jaune at all." The lady clarified, with only an imperceptible stutter.

One that Ren picked up on nonetheless. He filed it away for future study.

"I suppose my family would not...mind...if I were to marry for love..." Pyrrha noted, rubbing her thumbs together. "...right, Jaune?"  
"E-eh?!"

...

"Perfect! He got my chest JUST right this time!" Cinder cheered. Jaune looked at her strangely.

"How can you even tell?"  
"I have the eyes of a hawk and I know how big my chest is." The pyromancer shrugged. "I see I'm checking out my future hubby~"  
Pyrrha clenched her fist. "Professor Fall..."  
"I'm just kidding around, calm down~" The pyromancer giggled.

Winter frowned. "A criminal mastermind hardly enters an academy full of people willing to take her down on sight..."

"Dear, I wouldn't be a criminal mastermind if people could do that. And I wouldn't be alive long enough to, ah, change my mind and teach you guys if I was." Cinder pointed out. "Besides, that's all behind me now.

I'm a new woman, Still the same sexiness, but now I burn bad people."

...

Jaune facepalmed.

"And of course Cinder doesn't know my dad used me to make deals with everyone else. That can't end well."

Cinder giggled. "I can smell this all tumbling down soon enough..."  
"You and me both." Ren whistled, looking sympathetically at the strip. "Good Dust...and did you just go _Velvet_ on him?"  
"I'm not clingy!" The pyromancer snapped. "I have my vices. I'm lustful, gluttonous, selfish, guilty of crimes and sexy beyond moral limits, but dear, I am not clingy.

I'm offended at that!"  
Jaune narrowed his eyes.

"That's what you're offended by?!"  
"A girl has to have her limits _somewhere_."

* * *

"Oh, she knows." Ren chuckled, before turning to Nora. "You've been kinda-"

Nora was asleep, huddling in the corner with a sloth plushie.

"Pancakes..." The berserker muttered in her sleep, snoring. "...delicious, maple syrup covered...pancakes..."

"Guess that takes care of one problem. And HEY GLYNDA!" Cinder cheered. "YES! Perfect!"

Jaune blanched. "Not her too...w-wait, what?!"

Pyrrha twitched.

"P-Professor Fall, p-please assure me you will _not_ be kissing Jaune in real life."

"Oh, dear, if I wanted to kiss him, I could do it right now."

Winter looked over at her. "That would be...rude, would it not?"

"Winter, you're clenching your fists." Jaune pointed out, tilting his head. The lady stopped, staring at her hands.

"I...I am?"

"...are you angry?"  
"Of course not." She sighed deeply. "I...I do not know what came over me. I should not react like that to seeing a fictional version of my teacher kissing a fictional version of you."  
"Yeah...you shouldn't..." The knight blinked. "...you alright?"  
"I might just be suffering a little stress from the fumigation, that is all."  
Cinder facepalmed.

"You're worse than Lucina."

"My sister?" Jaune tilted his head. "She's nothing like Winter."  
"Not her." The pyromancer shook her head, sighing. "Another Lucina."

...

Somewhere in the ether of the multiverse, the heir to the Ylissean throne, Lucina, sneezed and muttered something about not being interested in Robin.

...

Cinder glared at the screen.

"Glynda's mine, dammit! Jaune can't have her!"

"Y-you can have her!" The knight cried. "I-I don't want to date Professor Goodwitch!"

Ren laughed, shaking his head.

"I don't know what's funnier, Jaune not liking it or _Professor Fall _being jealous..."

Pyrrha muttered darkly.

"She's not the only one with any reason not to like it either..."

Winter shook her head.

"I do not think asking him to seduce you at all is appropriate, Professor Goodwitch..."

"Y-you think?!" The knight breathed heavily. "How much worse can this _get_?!"

...

"You're doomed." Ren stated succinctly. "Absolutely, positively _doomed_."

"Can't get any more doomed than that." Cinder agreed. "You're screwed.

I say just run to the mountains and become a hermit, like that one reviewer on that other story said once."  
Jaune had his face in his hands, again for the umpteenth time.

"It got worse. I had to say it, didn't I? It got worse."

Winter placed her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it.

"Do not worry, Mister Jaune. At least it isn't happening to you here."  
"No, I think what's happening to me here is worse..."  
Ren nodded. "You know, he's got a point about that, at least the girls after him _there_ don't have tanks or mecha at their disposal."

Pyrrha nodded. "True point, Ren.

Do not worry, for I will defend you from that."  
"Pyrrha, you're not one to talk, either." The gunslinger cut her off. "You're worse than them all."  
"W-what's that supposed to mean?!"

* * *

"Yeah, I don't think anyone's mistaking one of the hottest women in Vale for Jaune's sister anytime soon." Ren pointed out. "Even if she _does_ look like a teen after all these years..."  
Cinder stared at the screen.

"...wow. Ms. Arc is a _kid._"

"Y-you're one to talk!" Jaune cried, shocked.

"I am a _mature, grown woman_!" Cinder crossed her arms and pouted like a child, offended. "H-how dare you imply such things!

J-just for that, I want cake and burritos!"

Winter chuckled. "Oh dear, Miss Arc seems to be very protective."  
"I would be in that situation..." Pyrrha nodded, agreeing with Jaune's fictional mother. "I would only want the best for Jaune."  
"Indeed." The lady nodded. "The best for Jaune."

...

"Good Dust, there's even a legal document for this." Ren sighed. "Yep, your dad's been doing this a long time."

Jaune exhaled. "My real dad would probably kill him. He'd probably try to get me with Blake or something, she's all into that manliness stuff."

"I am sure your mother has better choices. A-after all, she's not interested in you, right?" Pyrrha pointed out.

Ren closed his eyes. "Not really, she did ask me for shirtless Jaune pictures the other day."

"Nah, those are for Yang." Cinder corrected him. "Blake's one true love is-"  
"And I want to sign that legal document...j-just to see what it contains." The spearmaiden added. "Not because I would like to marry Jaune, although that would be...not an undesirable outcome..."

...

Cinder giggled.

"Well, I'm liking the fangirling Glynda, but like I said, Glynda's _mine_." The pyromancer stated surprisingly ferociously. "Miiiine."

"Good Dust, you're screwed. Even Glynda's completely fallen for you." Ren whistled. "You're lucky this comic isn't NSFW or something."  
"I don't think that's supposed to comfort me..." The knight remarked.

Winter looked over at him. "You still have not shown me how well you truly sing."  
"M-Maybe another time, Winter."  
"I would like to hear it some time." The lady requested, smiling. "I think it would be interesting to know how skilled you truly are."

"CAT-SMILES ON GLYNDA ALL THE YES!" The pyromancer cheered, pumping her fist in triumph.

...

"Alright, this should be the last one." Jaune sighed. "Aaaand...it's not too hard."

Cinder nodded slowly. "To be fair, I'd be scared even if it was Yona. _Especially _if it was Yona instead of that other mom.

Have you SEEN how big her gun is?!"

Winter nodded. "Well, I wish Miss Belladonna all the best, even if I do not believe she will succeed so easily..."

Ren rested his head on his pillow. "Well, I think that was a well wasted afternoon.

Jaune, you know the drill. Leave a comment."

"...eh, why not."

* * *

**-SaviorOfOrleans**

Nice job, dude. But, um...I'm not that much of a chick magnet.

And Pyrrha doesn't like it that much either. I wonder why.

By Jaune Arc

* * *

Pyrrha sighed, closing her eyes.

"Well, it's a good job I am here to protect you."  
"As am I." Winter added quickly.

Jaune closed his eyes.

"If that Jaune thinks he's in Hell on Earth, he should see me..."

Cinder looked aside.

"The one hormonal teenage boy in the whole multiverse who complains about having multiple attractive and sexy girls fawning over him. Typical."

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: Woo! That was long! Next chapter, Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs: Hokuago Tea-Time Rematch! With 100% more K-On! shoutouts and interactions! 100% more music! And, possibly, Blake redeeming herself!**

**Another shoutout to ****oobidoobi**** for letting us do his comics, of course. If you're reading this, I hope you know that you're awesome!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	68. Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs 3, Pt 1!

**Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs: The Rematch, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! This will (possibly) be the day you've waited for (no pun intended), as this is the long-awaited and long-demanded rematch between team RWBY and Hokuago Tea-Time! This is it! It's happening! And now with 100% more interaction from the other side, as you guys asked for it!**

**Very well, without further ado, let us begin this totally not hilarious chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would have actually sung every song from the soundtrack in series (come on, who doesn't want to hear Weiss sing 'Time to Say Goodbye' or 'Gold'?).**

**K-On! belongs to Kyoto Animation.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Vale Shopping Plaza..._

"That was a nice lunch you treated us to." Ruby commented, hugging Weiss' arm tightly. The heiress blushed slightly.

"Y-you could afford to be...a bit less...affectionate in public..."

"I'm just showing my girlfriend some love~"

Yang sighed, chuckling. "Weiss, you've got to be a bit less uptight about it. She IS your girlfriend now. Being all tsun-tsun about it isn't going to change anything."  
"Old habits die hard." Blake noted. "She's spent three years acting all tsun-tsun to Ruby, she's not about to stop just because she's bit the bullet.

Give it two months."

"I-I'm just...I'm just a little flustered and unused to this!" Weiss snapped. "It's not like I've had a girlfriend before...or any lover, for that matter..."

Yang chuckled. "Then you should've asked good old Yang! I'm not inexperienced in the field of love, you know..."  
Ruby held a finger up. "Yang, you always told me you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before..."

"W-what?!"The brawler was taken aback, blushing. "D-dammit, she doesn't need to know that!"

Weiss smirked. "So you're just as bad as me!"

"N-no way! R-Ruby's spouting complete-"

Blake's ears twitched rather suddenly. Her calm expression suddenly changed into one of anger.

"I hear...a _moeblob._ No...a _group_ of moeblobs."

She started seething and breathing very deeply. Ever since her defeat at the hands of moeblobs multiple times- by Vivi, Winter, Isara and most infamously Hokaugo Tea-Time, a famous foreign band banking on the appeal of _moe_\- the catgirl had gradually grown in anger towards them, with a stronger desire to prove her manliness once more.

Yang raised an eyebrow. "Huh? I don't see Norn here. Or Winter. Or Isara. Or-"

"No, no, those three aren't that cute." Blake waved her off. "Not in this way. I sense..._disgustingly _moe moeblobs."  
She sniffed the air, before cringing. "A-and..._strawberry shortcake_. This can mean only _one_ thing-"

Weiss facepalmed, interrupting her quickly. "Oh come on, this is the _third_ time this month! For the last time, there is no way Hokuago Tea-Time is here! You did NOT see Yui or Mio or whoever walk past you!"

Yang sighed, putting a hand on her partner's shoulder. "Yeah, Blake. Come on, what are the odds of those guys hanging out in Vale? Last I heard, they were in college now. They've got the same stuff we have to do."

Ruby nodded in agreement, patting the catgirl on the back. "That's about as likely as Squid Girl showing up in the middle of Vale, Blake.

You're probably smelling something completely different."

* * *

_Several meters away..._

"Eikooo!" A girl, looking about eleven or twelve, with what seemed to be blue squid's tentacles for hair and a white squid's head for a hat, screeched as she was dragged out by an older, red-haired girl, with her prehensile tentacle hair flailing at a plate of shrimp on the table they just vacated. The whole restaurant had deigned to watch the madness going on.

"HOW MANY PLATES OF SHRIMP DID YOU ORDER?!" The other girl yelled. "THAT COST ME MY WHOLE SAVINGS FOR THE MONTH!"

"N-not that many! P-Put me down! P-Please! A s-squid can't survive without her shrimp!"

The older girl ignored her protests, shaking her head and muttering under her breath. The squid-like girl was carried out, and Ritsu closed her eyes, sighing.

"This place is weird." The drummer rubbed her temples. "Really, really weird- and for a moment, I thought Azusa was the one being carted out or something.

Mugi-chan, why did we go here again?"

"I thought it might be a good experience." The aforementioned heiress chuckled, taking a calm sip of her tea. "Besides, now that we've finished our college exams and Azusa's finished her first year of college, we deserve a little break, don't we?"

"I don't think she's having too much of a break." Ritsu remarked drily, as she pointed over at the aforementioned girl, who was currently being glomped by Yui.

"Azunyaaaaan~" Yui giggled happily. Azusa struggled in the vice grip of her elder, squirming.

"K-kyah! Yui-sempai! T-this isn't the place for t-that!"  
Ritsu sighed fondly. "It seems Yui's made a habit of glomping you in every place known to man..."

Mio remained silent, just chuckling at the antics of her group. Unbeknownst to her, Mugi was secretly taking pictures of Yui's affectionate hugging, giggling.

'_This pleases Mugi._' The heiress thought deviously with a hint of lust. _'This pleases Mugi very much..._'

Indeed, Squid Girl was spending a day trip in Vale. On a lesser note, the well-known band Hokuago Tea-Time; all five members, frontman and guitarist Yui, bassist Mio, drummer Ritsu, keyboardist Mugi and second guitarist Azusa- was indeed gathered in Vale for a holiday.

Ritsu rested her head on her arms. "Hey, you guys. After we're done here, let's go check out that one place we were invited to by that weird ad a couple of months ago."  
"Beacon Academy?" Mio chimed up. "Oh...I did a little research on them. Apparently, they're a combat academy. They train to fight giant monsters."  
"What, like in those cool shows?" Ritsu's eyes started sparkling. "I-I want to go there now!"

Mugi smiled.

"You know, Ritsu, you have to do a very rigorous test in addition to years of physical training." The heiress noted teasingly, counting the requirements to get into Beacon. "And in addition to that, you have to do years of studying on the types of Grimm that plague this land, and make your own weapons, and-"

Ritsu had already collapsed on the table, looking horrified.

"Who knew fighting monsters and looking awesome was that hard..."

"YOU!"

Suddenly, a piercing shout, full of anger and fighting spirit, pierced the hubbub of the restaurant. All of the girls looked up, and the other diners were silent.

* * *

Ritsu looked up, confused. "Huh? What's going on?"

"I'm talking to YOU!"

A black-haired girl, with a black ribbon in her hair, slowly approached the girls. Three other girls- a tall, blonde girl, a slightly shorter black-haired girl with red tips on her hair, and a short white-haired girl- were trying to hold her back unsuccessfully.

"YOU! ME! REMATCH! NOW!"  
Ritsu blinked, confused. "What? Who are you?"

"Who am I?" The girl glared at her. "WHO AM I?! I AM BLAKE BELLADONNA! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

"Blake, quit yelling!" The short white-haired girl tugged on her sleeve. "Come on!"

Yui looked up from Azusa, staring at Blake.

"Are you a catgirl?"  
"I am a cat _FAUNUS_! AND I WILL HAVE MY-"

The other black-haired girl cupped her hand over her mouth and pulled her back as the blonde girl ran over to them.

"Listen, guys, I'm_ really _sorry about Blakey, she's just a bit...insane-"

"I know you four!" Mio snapped her fingers. "You four were the ones who put out that advert months ago, right? And we came over and did that thing?"  
"Oh my Dust, you really _are_ Hokuago Tea-Time!" The girl squeed happily. "I'm such a big fan! I'm Yang, by the way- you remember us, we invited you guys over here, you beat us..."  
Mugi chuckled, placing her hand over her mouth. "It seems Blake here was disappointed with the results of our last match."

"A rematch?" Ritsu thought carefully, rubbed her chin. "I dunno. I'm pretty pooped from exams-"

"Are you a chicken?!" Blake roared tauntingly. Suddenly, even Yui's head shot up.

"Blake!" Yang yelled. "D-don't be so-"

"What did you just call me?" The drummer shot Blake a glare, cutting Yang off and making the other girls present jump with her tone. Mio made a movement to grab her, stopping her.

"R-Ritsu, she's just-"  
"Let go of me, Mio! I want to know what she just called me."  
Blake breathed heavily. "You heard me, a chicken!"  
"I'm not a chicken! I'm not scared to beat you! You, me, right now!"

Mio stood up, flailing frantically. "H-hey! T-this isn't the time, Ritsu! This isn't the-"

"GOOD!" Blake leaned in, glaring at her opponent. "LET'S GO, RIGHT NOW! MANLINESS VERSUS MOE!"

Ritsu returned the gesture, glaring equally intensely. "THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S REALLY CHICKEN!"

Azusa stood up. "Ritsu, you shouldn't be baited so easily! Calm down!"

"Yeah...you're really scaring me, Ritsu-chan..." Yui pouted, shrinking away from her.

Mugi stood up, smiling at both parties with a cup of tea in hand.

"Alright. So you want a rematch with us?" The heiress offered to the catgirl.

"OF COURSE! THEN WE WILL PROVE THAT OUR MANLINESS IS SUPERIOR TO YOUR MOE!"

Yui tilted her head, curious. "What's moe? Is that some sort of cake?"  
"Good god, Yui." Azusa facepalmed, exasperated.

Mugi closed her eyes. "Very well. We will decide on it as a band."

With that, Hokuago Tea-Time huddled together, looking between one another.

"Nobody calls me chicken!" Ritsu muttered. "I say we go for it!"

Yui giggled. "And besides, won't it be fun to play a little music for our fans? Gitah looks lonely sitting there without being played..."

"I say no to that." Mio shook her head. "We came here to relax! Won't it be a little stressful to play against them?"

Azusa nodded in agreement. "It's a bit too sudden. We're a bit out of practice, too."

"So we're at a tie?" Mugi sighed, looking between both sides. "...very well, it's left to me to decide."

She turned to the other girls.

"We'll do it."

"WHAT?!" Mio and Azusa yelled in unison, taken aback.

Blake clapped, enjoying the prospect of a challenge. "Excellent! When do you want to do it?"  
"An hour would be fine." Mugi stated with a smile. Even Ritsu was taken aback.

"M-Mugi?! We're not that awesome!"

"Relax. We never did that much practice to begin with." Yui pointed out happily. Azusa looked down, exasperated.

"That's not a good thing..."

"Because I spent all my practice time eating cake and hugging you~" The affectionate girl leapt onto her partner, who began squirming.

"Yui-sempai! Q-quit that!"

"Excellent." Blake rubbed her hands. "Weiss, you know what to do."  
The white-haired girl glared at her. "You're not seriously _asking_ me to call my father to ask him to set up a play off now, right?!"  
Blake nodded. "Exactly what I'm asking. Glad we can see eye to eye."  
The white-haired girl pinched her nose, closing her eyes and pulling her phone out. "Fine. He'll probably say no."

"Your father has some clout here, doesn't he?" Ritsu noted. The other girl who had not spoken raised a finger.

"He owns the mall."  
"WHAT?!"

"It's the Schnee Shopping Center! And this here is my girlfriend Weiss! I'm Ruby!" The girl waved at them as she planted a quick kiss on her partner's cheek.

"...what?" The heiress sighed. "...seriously?! But...

Fine, Father, I'll be sure to give her your regards." Weiss put down the phone, turning to Blake.

"We have clearance. I hope you're happy."

The catgirl pumped her fist in joy. "EXCELLENT! We'll get our instruments soon! Girls!"  
The four walked out, as Mugi looked over to them, with Azusa giving her an irritated look as Yui rubbed her cheeks into her head.

"What?" The heiress shrugged. "I just thought it would be a fun holiday activity."  
"Democratic choice, you say..." Mio muttered darkly. "...well, I think we'd best be leaving the bill then, if we're actually doing this..."

* * *

_Half an hour later..._

Team RWBY stood upon one of the stages in the central plaza, where a small crowd had gathered. The Schnee Dust Company had installed collapsible stages in the plaza for performances to be easily set up and manned by a crew of five or six people, as most if not all other functions often handled by technicians in other venues were handled by automation.

This venue was certainly one of the most advanced venues in the country in terms of technology, with state-of-the-art lighting, sound systems and whatnot.

This made it far easier to hold an impromptu performance when it was needed- or required, in this case, by Weiss' father.

Yang was on drums, Blake on guitar, Ruby on bass and Weiss on vocals. The song they had selected was one they'd considered to go up against Hokuago Tea-Time last time they met; on closer inspection, it seemed the perfect thing to play, and they had only practice a little to remember the notes.

Weiss closed her eyes. "Are you sure this is entirely a good idea? This seems far too rush-"  
"I am CERTAIN!" Blake declared, whipping out Fuckslayer and patting it carefully. The other three could feel the aura of manliness it was emitting, with Yang shivering from the sheer presence.

"We'll beat them this time, I'm sure of it!"

"I'm not sure you are." Weiss remarked. "Besides, was it really necessary to challenge them now?"  
Ruby frowned, nodding in agreement. "True..."  
Yang clapped, looking at Weiss as if she'd said something foolish. "Are you kidding? This is the fairest playing field we're going to get!

And Knights of Cydonia? I've been _dying_ to play that! Are you kidding? I'm not passing up this opportunity to play that song!"

The heiress rolled her eyes. "It wasn't entirely needed that we do this, you know."

Blake clutched her guitar tightly. "We'll do it this time. I bet. I BET! WE WILL WIN!"

The group were suddenly met with their opposite number, their instruments slung over their backs; only Ritsu hadn't brought hers, for obvious reasons. Mugi waved at them.

"I see you're here early." The elegant girl noted with a smile. Blake merely glared imperiously at them.

"Enough chit-chat. Let's get this over with. I will prove the superiority of manliness _here and now_!" The catgirl declared. Ritsu returned the glare with equal strength, cracking her knuckles in preparation.

"We'll see who the _real_ chicken is!"

Mio looked aside. "I wonder how this hasn't escalated into an out and out fistfight yet..."

Weiss looked apologetically to Yui. "I am really sorry about my friend's behaviour. If we win, what she says are not our opinions..."

"It's okay!" The affectionate girl bobbed her head around happily. "It's just for fun, after all! Heehee..."

Yang sighed, flicking her drumsticks into her hands and waiting for the other girls to take their positions.

"We'll decide who played better off the crowd, yeah?" Blake motioned towards the crowd. "Sound fair?"  
"Alright." Mugi nodded. "That sounds fair. Are we ready?"  
"Yes sir!" Yui provided a clumsy military salute.

"Ready to prove who the _real_ chicken is!" Ritsu responded with a glare towards the catgirl. The other two members merely nodded.

The elegant girl looked over to her opponents. "Well, you may begin with your piece. The challenger must prove their right, after all, to dethrone the defender."  
"Such confidence..." Azusa remarked. "...you really must think they're terrible or we're likely to-"  
"ENOUGH TALK!" Blake roared, causing Ruby to jump. "LET'S GO!"

She turned to the audience, grabbing the microphone.

"Good day! This is Team RWBY!" The catgirl announced. "We're pulling off an impromptu show-off against the...esteemed Hokaugo Tea-Time, who've kindly offered to take some time out of their holiday to match us! We're relying on YOU to decide which one of us is better!

Today, we'll be playing you one of the greatest pieces of rock in the modern day...Muse's Knights of Cydonia!"

The audience launched into applause. Blake smiled, knowing she had their attention, before putting it back.

"Take it away, girls!"

They began, of course, with a series of three chords, repeated, before progressing into the familiar sound of the song's intro. The rhythm mesmerized the audience, as they bobbed their heads to the song, almost jumping at points.

Weiss noted something about Blake's playing. It was somewhat rushed at points, almost too harsh and strong.

'_...she's losing it_.' The heiress mentally noted. _'This...whole manliness obsession is making her unable to concentrate properly.'_

Finally, Weiss heard her cue was nearing. She sighed, closing her eyes.

'_Here goes nothing. Another wasted day...' _The heiress thought. _'Why do I do these things for Blake...'_

"_Come ride with me through the veins of mystery..._" Weiss sang, somewhat bobbing along herself to the song set by Blake. "_And I'll show you why God falls asleep on the job!_

_But how can we win when fools can be kings? Don't waste your time...or time...will...waste...you!"_

_..._

"_No one's going to take me alive! The time has come to make things riiiight!_

_You and I must fight for our rights! You and I must fight to suuuurvive!" _Weiss sang-almost roared- into the microphone, as the song launched into the coda and the final riffs.

The audience cheered as Blake finished the song, glowing green with Spiral Energy from the manliness she was emitting. The catgirl smiled at Hokuago Tea-Time, who had calmly watched them, and winked, smug.

"Your move."

* * *

Ritsu gritted her teeth, clenching her fists around her drumsticks. "Dammit, they're...good."

Yui tried to look as threatening as possible to intimidate them- which, gathering from Yang's immediate squeeing, didn't work.

"Don't worry! We'll do our best to beat you!"

Mugi clapped proudly. "Right. Everyone! We know what we're doing. Let's show them that we can come up with our own songs and beat them easily.

Yui, take the mic. We know you're better with audiences."

Mio visibly sighed in relief as the affectionate girl took it up. She had barely gotten used to playing for large audiences in her home country, let alone ones in an impromptu venue in a different country, and was just thankful she hadn't been called on too much.

Blake gritted her teeth. "Why you..."

"What's wrong?" Ruby tilted her head.

"They know Yui's too moe for the audience to resist." The catgirl cursed. "Damn it all."

"Uh...hi!" Yui waved at everyone. "We're Hokaugo Tea-Time! Uh...we're performing a little on short notice today, but here we are!

We're going to sing a little song for you all! It's called Heart-Throbbing Sugar, and Mio-chan's going to sing it!"

"W-what?!" The aforementioned shy girl stared at her in shock. "M-me?!"

Ritsu frowned. "Come on, Mio! It's just one song!"

"B-but..." The girl sighed, knowing she couldn't just back out and disappoint the audience- not with the cheering from them, especially since some of them were now hefting signs with their band's logo on it.

"...fine. But just this once, okay?"

Yui hugged her tightly. "I knew you'd come through for us!"

"Y-you're kind of crushing me!"

"Sorry..."

With that, the bassist took front stage and the mic, clearing her throat. Blake was visibly scared.

She knew that there was nothing she could possibly do to salvage this. Mio's fear was adorable, and the audience had already busted out the HTT signs.

"Damn it...I've lost again..." The catgirl muttered. Yang placed a hand on her shoulder.

"It's not over yet! Come on, cheer up!"

The other band began playing, with a fairly nice and pleasant beat. Mio inhaled briefly, looking around at the audience to gather her own confidence.

'_Never let it be said I don't do anything for my friends...'_ The bassist thought, before opening her mouth to sing.

"_Taisetsu na anata ni...karmaeru soosu! Guranyuu tou ni buraru shugaa!"_

_..._

"_Hoppe ga ochiru yo_!" Mio concluded the song, sighing in relief as her bandmates finished off the rest.

The audience exploded in response, raising their signs and various HTT merchandise, clapping happily and cheering Mio's name. Team RWBY had already been forgotten.

Blake clenched her fist.

'_That's it. I'm not being beaten again. This time, I'll get them.'_

"I-It's not over!" The catgirl declared towards them, yelling over the audience. Weiss stared at her in dismay.

"Belladonna, what are you doing?!" She hissed irritably. "Come on!"

Ritsu stuck her tongue out, smug. "Nya, we beat you fair and square! Looks like this manliness thing you're talking about didn't really help."

"I demand another rematch! Give us a week to prepare! You can stay at Beacon!"

Weiss stared at her. "BLAKE!"

The catgirl stared back at her. "We're not going to give up until we beat them!"

"Nah, nah, we beat you!" The drummer complained. "We don't have to-"  
"Alright!" Yui cheered. "Sure! We'd be happy to do it again! We're even staying at your school, too!"

Azusa shook her head, pulling her aside. "Yui! We paid for a hotel already! It'll be a waste of money!"

Blake laughed. "Excellent, excellent. Let's do this. We'll see you around."

With that, she packed up her gear and headed off stage. The rest of team RWBY followed her off.

The moment they were out of sight, Weiss grabbed Blake, looking highly irritated.

"Was that entirely needed? They're better than us!" The heiress snapped. "They are all professional musicians!"

The catgirl growled. "I don't care! We're going to win! Manliness will win out! MANLINESS!"

She began to laugh maniacally, giggling to herself.

"Manliness over moe. Manliness over moe. Manliness over moe..." She muttered it to herself as she headed further backstage. Yang looked concerned.

"I think Blakey's gone mad. She's been beaten by the power of moe the whole year..."  
Ruby frowned. "I hope she'll be alright."

Weiss' expression changed into one of actual concern and exasperation.

"Are you serious?! Alright, that's it!" She pulled out her phone. The brawler looked over at her.

"Weiss, who are you calling?"  
"I'm arranging for an intervention. Blake needs to get this idea of manliness out of the way! She's far too obsessed with it!" The heiress cried. "We need to fix this.

And besides, her playing was clearly suffering from the fact that she was concentrating far too much on being _manly_ than being _good_ at it. She'll never beat Hokaugo Tea-Time with that!"

Ruby's eyes widened in realisation. "...I see...you have a point! What do you have in mind?"  
"Something obvious." Weiss closed her eyes.

"It's time to fight fire with fire, so to speak."

* * *

_Later that day, at Beacon..._

The unexpected arrival of Hokaugo Tea-Time at Beacon was indeed surprising, but welcomed. Mio received the most attention, especially from fangirls of Winter, Weiss and Blake- much to her chagrin. Glynda had to be cajoled by Cinder into housing them in one of the dorms that weren't occupied, but they were settled in within the hour.

"Wow..." Yui looked around as she walked through the corridors, her bag and her beloved Gitah slung on her back. "...this place is so cool...they must have a lot of cake here, too!"

Azusa chuckled. "That's always the first thing you think about."  
"I take cake very seriously1"

"The funding they must get as a combat academy must be considerable..." Mugi nodded in agreement. Ritsu was herself looking at the various students carrying HTT badges.

"We must be famous around here! That's awesome!" The drummer cheered. "That means I can make them all do my bidding, right?"  
"Don't flatter yourself." Mio remarked. Ritsu stared back at her.

"You've got nothing to worry about! Everyone here's practically in love with you!"

"MIO-CHAN!" A random doe Faunus leapt towards the bassist, trying to hug her. She barely escaped by sidestepping her, squealing in terror.

Mugi rubbed her hands as she surreptitiously took a picture of her friend's fear with her phone.

'_Her adorableness pleases Mugi.'_

She added it to an album full of similar images, hidden between ones of Yui hugging Azusa and other similarly vaguely romantic moments between the others in her group.

What Mugi did not spot was the watchful eye of a certain boy as they walked away. His eyes followed her as she giggled, hiding the phone from the bassist's sight as she insisted she hadn't taken a picture of her squealing in terror.

"Tsumugi Kotobuki." Ren noted down on his notepad, when the girls were out of earshot. "Potential target for recruitment into the Antic Order.

Nora, we have work to do."

Nora saluted to him. "Yes sir!"  
"We have to recruit Miss Kotobuki into our little order. But first, we have to find out her suitableness.

She was taking a picture of Mio, was she not? Find out what you can about that. See if she'd be open to more...risque pranks."  
...

_Meanwhile..._

Blake descended into her hangar, hoping to work off her irritation at losing once more to the accursed moeblobs.

"Damn it all..." The catgirl muttered. "...I can't lose again. I have to...I have to win!

I have to think of the manliest songs I know! Think!"

Blake racked her brain as she walked past the tarp hiding Project YAMATO and the pride of her mech fleet, the Gurren Lagann. She had to think of a manly song, one that could overcome even the sheer moe of Hokaugo Tea-Time-

"Pondering something?"

Blake froze. Her face lit up.

"...no way."

Andreas Arc approached her slowly, his chest exposed as usual with only a longcoat to warm his upper body up. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Blake, what did I say about manliness again?"

"...you don't need anyone else to carry you, you can carry yourself." Blake repeated excitedly as she came face to face with the man she knew to be the very reincarnation of her idol made flesh.

"Well, I said that, true. But, Blake, there's something you should know."  
"D-did I do something wrong?" The catgirl was taken aback. "W-what? I-I only...I only used the power of the spiral as well as I could! Manliness was my greatest priority!"

"...you're doing it wrong." Andreas sighed, chuckling.

Blake merely stared at him, shocked.

"What...what do you mean?"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: Knights of Cydonia belongs to Muse.**

**A/N: Will Blake ever learn to use manliness properly? Will Mugi join the Antic Order? Will Blake beat Hokuago Tea-Time?! Find out next time!  
**

**A little hint at what next chapter's songs will entail.**

_**There's a point where it tips, there's a point where it breaks, there's a where it bends, and a point we just can't take any more...**_

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	69. Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs 3, Pt 2!

**Blake Reacts to Music Standoffs: The Rematch, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now that we got the preparation out of the way, let's get this chapter out of the way! **

**On a serious note, I must ask one thing of my reviewers, I must ask that you do not ask for updates of this story or my other story ****Lucina Reacts. ****I am currently in the middle of some very important exams which I must study for in addition to my other real life obligations. I cannot devote much time to writing fanfiction, given that I don't get paid for it. So please, do not pressure me for updates- I have a regular schedule anyway, so please, be patient and I'll try my best to get them out to you all.**

**Thank you for your consideration.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise...I dunno, the whole rant about update pressuring made me forget my disclaimer joke for the day.**

**K-On! belongs to Kyoto Animation.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"W-what do you mean by doing it wrong?!" Blake stared at Andreas Arc, shocked. "I-I'm...I don't-"  
Andreas crossed his arms, grinning knowingly.

"You're not listening! The true essence of manliness isn't just badassery for badassery's sake!"

"B-but that's what you taught me!" Blake cried, looking genuinely distressed. "Y-you always said-"

"Blake, you know why I _have_ so many fangirls?" Andreas inquired, raising an eyebrow. Blake stopped.

"...because you're always shirtless and you look as manly as possible without having muscles the size of barrels?"  
"Well, that's true. Try again."  
"...because you're manly?"  
"Because I'm the most badass big bro in the whole multiverse!" Andreas declared, pointing to the roof of the hangar heroically, his longcoat suddenly swishing in a sudden dramatic wind. "Being Simon's big bro was the best gig I ever had! Riding giant robots? Manly! Beating up jerks? Badass! Sneaking kisses off Yoko? Who wouldn't want to?

The best thing I ever did wasn't any of that! The best thing I did was make Simon into the manliest man alive!

And I! AM! PROUD! OF! _THAT!_"

"...b-but..."

"Listen, Blake, you have to remember what the art of being manly's REALLY about!"  
"But I-" Blake looked at her hands, unsure of what to do. Andreas closed his eyes, smiling.

"Blake, you've got to snap out of that! You're not you!"

"I...MANLINESS IS ABOUT BEING BADASS!" The catgirl declared angrily. "And not even you can-"

"Not even I can say anything about it? Alright, then it's on!" Andreas roared, clenching his knuckles. "LET ME SEE YOU GRIT THOSE TEETH!"

Suddenly, Andreas leapt towards Blake, aiming for her face. The catgirl, however, was ready, having executed such attacks on many others. She got ready for her own counterattack.

"KYYAAAAAAH!" Blake leapt right back at him, aiming for his face. "YOU WILL BE THE ONE WHO GRITS THOSE TEETH! MY MANLINESS IS STRONGER THAN YOURS!"

The pair flew into a flurry of punching and dodging each other's punches, their Aura flaring green with power as they attempted to show their superiority.

"COME ON!" Blake roared, taunting him. "SHOW! ME! YOUR MANLINESS!"  
"Hell YEAH!" Andreas clapped. "Now THIS is a fight! BRING IT!" He swept out of Blake's reach, motioning her to come forward and hit him.

The catgirl gritted her teeth and leapt at him, aiming for his face with her fist. She had, however, failed to account for something else.

Unlike his previous incarnation, Andreas had the advantage of years of Hunting experience, the power of Aura and Spiral Energy combined...and the same education as Cinder in hand to hand combat, making him as equally a deadly combatant in battle as Blake was.

With unparalleled speed, Blake could only watch as Andreas grabbed her fist in mid-air and delivered a sideward blow to her face with his other hand, sending her flying to the side. The catgirl was in shock, sliding over to the foot of the Gurren Lagann.

"W-what-"

"Blake, you can't beat the champ." The heroic man pumped his chest with his fist. "I've been doing this for longer than you've been alive!"

Strolling over, he offered her a hand up. "You alright?"

Blake grunted and took it, pulling herself up. "...ow..."

"Come on, come on." Andreas laughed. "You put up a good fight. Now, do you see what I mean?

Manliness isn't going to get you anywhere if all you're using it for is crushing your enemies! You've got to have the best intentions behind it! You've got to want to protect people! Help your friends! Or better yet, defending what you truly love!"  
"...I suppose..." The catgirl sighed, rubbing her cheek. "...I suppose you're right. I've been concentrating too much on beating the moeblobs that...I forgot what real manliness was.

Thanks...Kamina-sensei. I needed that punch in the face."

"Don't mention it. Manliness isn't just for beating moe things." The man chuckled. "Try to remember that being badass is well and good...but you have to use it for the right causes!

Because...A REAL MAN FIGHTS FOR A CAUSE WORTH DYING FOR!" He pointed to the sky once more, before popping on his signature triangle shades.

"BECAUSE THAT'S HOW TEAM GURREN ROLLS! And...THAT'S HOW TEAM RWBY ROLLS!"  
"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Blake pumped her fists, psyched up. "Let's do this!

I'd better get ready for that match against Hokaugo Tea-Time. See you around, okay?"  
"I'd watch you guys, but...Alex and I have got a drinking match to be at." Andreas laughed, before fixing his longcoat and strolling out. "See you around, Blake."

He walked out of the hangar, heading back to the surface. Blake was too in awe to realise that Andreas had never told her something.

Namely, how he knew when she was going up against Hokaugo Tea-Time.

...

As he strolled out, Andreas didn't even bother looking to his left.

"Good call, Weiss." He called over to the heiress, who looked up at him from a bench. "Any longer and she would've gone mad from manliness overload."  
"I was planning to call you earlier, but I never had the time." Weiss admitted. "Thanks, Mister Arc."  
"Don't mention it." Andreas smiled. "You have a good day-"

"Wait."

The man stopped, looking over at her.

"...if you're such a badass...then why...why isn't Jaune?" Weiss inquired. Andreas' smile widened.

"You think my son's not a badass? He's a little late in blooming." The man admitted fondly. "Trust me.

It'll be soon that he proves himself to be one of the manliest men in all of Vale- no, the continent! You just wait..."

With that, he walked off, leaving Weiss confused. She facepalmed.

"...even the man who Blake claims is Kamina acts like a cryptic seer." The heiress muttered. "I'm done."

* * *

_Meanwhile, elsewhere..._

Mugi sighed happily, leaning back on a bench in the corridors. She was taking in the surroundings of the school, and after Ritsu had literally collapsed onto one of the dorm beds after finding out how soft they were, band practice had been practically called off.

Not that it was likely that they'd properly ever do band practice, given that they were, after all, slackers at heart.

"So this is what it feels like, going to a school with dorms." Mugi noted fondly. "I wonder what it would be like to fight monsters on a daily basis.

It must be cool."

The heiress slipped a biscuit into her mouth from her pocket, looking over to see Azusa leaning near a vending machine. Mugi felt a chill run down her spine.

'_Oh my._' The heiress giggled, realising what was about to happen and taking out her phone. _'This will please Mugi very much...'_

Azusa sighed as she inserted a Lien card into the vending machine and pulled out a bottle of People Like Grapes soda- of course, it was Raspberry Grape flavour- popping the cap off of it.

"People Like Grapes..." Azusa noted. "...what kind of name is that?"

"Azunyaaaaan!"

"Wah!" The younger girl was suddenly beset upon by a wild Yui out of nowhere, nuzzling her cheeks. "Azunyan! How could you just abandon me like that in our dorm?" Yui pouted, hugging her younger partner tightly. "You left poor Yui all alone!"  
"Kyaaaah!" Azusa struggled hard, blushing. "Y-you're so embarrassing, Y-Yui-sempai..."

Mugi giggled, snapping pictures of the spectacle to place in her 'YuiXAzusa' album, right between her 'Ritsu/Mio' album and 'Mio's Cute Terror' album.

'_Such affectionate love...'_ The heiress sighed happily. _'...if only I could feel such love from someone...'_

Giggling, Mugi vacated the scene, her forbidden bounty acquired.

And just as suddenly as Yui appeared from nowhere, Mugi was suddenly yanked aside into a corner with a squeal.

* * *

_That night..._

Team RWBY was gathered in a circle, brainstorming music. Weiss was leading the discussion as Blake had mysteriously disappeared off somewhere, claiming she had to find something out or something.

"And this is why Rammstein is the best choice!" Weiss declared, tapping a pointer onto a board demonstrating the various lyrics and albums of that band. "Huh? Huh? Is singing _Engel_ or _Du Hast _not the best idea?!"

Ruby frowned, rubbing her chin. "Come on, Weiss. There's better songs than that...and besides, you're the only one who can sing those.

What if you get ill or something?"

Yang nodded in assent. "Yeah, she's got a point. How about we go for something like Muse? Oh! Oh!

What about Black Sabbath?"  
"One Ok Rock?" Ruby chirped happily. "Come on, that has GOT to beat Hokuago Tea-Time! They're awesome!"

"I still say Rammstein's the best." Weiss declared proudly.

Suddenly, however, all of them were silenced by Blake kicking the door open, her Team Antic cape billowing as if a dramatic wind was blowing and triangle shades sparkling. She was posing heroically, a smug smirk on her face.

"You people are about to get your minds _blown_!" The catgirl announced dramatically. She turned to Weiss, pointing at her.

"You! What's your idea?"

"Rammstei-"  
"Crappy! Yang, yours!"

The heiress muttered, before deferring to Yang, who rubbed her chin. "...Black Sabb-"  
"No! Ruby?"

"One Ok-"  
"Awesome, but no!" Blake pumped her fist. "Think about it for a second! I've been looking around all day for something to counter Hokaugo Tea-Time.

I realised what they were doing.

They were _being themselves_."  
"Huh?" Ruby tilted her head, confused. "I'm confused."

"I mean they're playing their own theme music! Think about it!" The catgirl snapped, turning to Yang. "You've watched the anime K-On, right?"

"Yeah." The brawler nodded. "Why?"  
"Fuwa Fuwa Time, Listen- heck, even Tokimeki Sugar was from the poem Mio wrote in that one episode- they're all K-On! themes." Blake explained. "And that's why they're beating us. They're using their own crowning music of awesome.

So we need to use our own."

"...our own soundtrack?" Yang raised her eyebrow, intrigued. "I must admit, that's...a fairly novel idea."

Ruby snapped her fingers. "Oh, like that one guy who does covers! I don't remember what his name was...was it...Little V something...gah!" The reaper sighed in frustration. "I know he did an awesome cover of that one song from the beginning!"

"_Time to Say Goodbye?"_

Ruby snapped her fingers as Yang answered. "Yes, that! That one! I loved his cover of that!"  
"I've got a set-list." Blake took out four booklets from her pocket, handing three to each of her teammates. "These ones are specifically picked to counter the best ones Hokuago Tea-Time will likely come up with.

I'm not just doing this to beat the moe anymore. I'm doing this because...because I've got to prove myself now!

Too long, I've focused on nothing but manliness, but I've got a new resolution. I'm going to do things for the love of it, not because they're manly. You got that?"

Yang clapped, looking amazed. "Wow. You changed rather quickly, didn't you? What gives?"  
"I had a fight." Blake replied without missing a beat. "Now, guys, we've got to practice.

We want to beat Hokuago Tea-Time, do we not?"

Ruby's eyes lit up.

"Does that mean I get to lounge around and eat cake like Yui?!"  
"No! We're going to practice so we can beat them!" The catgirl declared. "We can't be slacking around and eating cake!"  
The reaper's spirits sank. "Whyyyy?!"  
Weiss facepalmed. "Ruby, you realise that they're professional musicians and we're...not-so-professional monster hunters, right? We need every edge we can get to beat them."

The reaper crossed her arms, pouting.

"Just not fair..."  
Weiss twitched at how suddenly cute her girlfriend was being, but shook the urge to hug her away.

Blake cracked her knuckles. "We're going at this full blast! Starting tomorrow, we're training!

We're going to beat them not with manliness, but with our skill and our friendship!" The catgirl declared proudly, before she snickered at her last comment.

"Okay, not that last one, but you know what I mean! After all..."

She placed her fist on her chest, pumping it proudly. Weiss groaned, knowing what was coming.

"Oh, brother-"  
"WE! ARE! TEAM! RWBY!

We shall shine brighter than the brightest sun, and withstand the harshest storms!" Blake declared heroically. "AND NO OBSTACLE WILL EVER STOP US!"  
Yang was even more amazed.

"Woooow. You just came up with a whole new motto within five seconds. I'm amazed."

Blake blushed slightly. "Y-you're just saying that, Yang. Q-quit it.

Anyway, our adventure starts tomorrow!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the school..._

Ritsu placed her hand in front of the rest of her friends. "Come on, who's with me? We'll show that Blake girl how Hokuago Tea-Time does things!"  
Mio blinked. "Ritsu, you just did that out of nowhere. What did you think was going to happen?"  
"G-gah!" The drummer pouted. "Quit being such a killjoy, Mio!"

Yui giggled, clutching the supply of cakes she'd gotten from her fans at Beacon.

"Heehee...people love us!" The frontman giggled ecstatically. "I think I'm in cake heaven..."

Azusa sighed. "Yui-sempai, if you eat too much cake, you'll make yourself sick. Save them for the rest of the week."

"B-but...I want them now..." Yui pouted, pleading to eat them. Ritsu pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So spoiled..."

Mugi walked in, smiling at everyone.

"Good evening, everyone!"

"Mugi-chaaaan!" Yui waved at her happily. "You're back!"  
Ritsu looked at her suspiciously. "Where did you go? You said you'd be back in a bit about three hours ago!"

"I was just talking to a student and I must've gotten carried away! Ahaha..." The heiress chuckled. "...so, do we know what we're playing on Friday?"

Mio pulled out a setlist. "Here. I drew five songs up for us to play. I mixed it up between our whole library for some variety."

"Interesting." Mugi rubbed her chin, examining the setlist. "Yui, what do you think of this?"  
"I think they're all good!" The affectionate girl responded, already chowing down on two cupcakes topped with cream and strawberries.

Ritsu lay back in her bed, sighing. "Y'know, I'm beat. Can we just go to bed now? We can start practicing tomorrow."  
"...point taken." Mugi nodded. "Alright, everyone get ready for bed. We'll talk in the morning."

Azusa raised her hand. "Can Yui sleep on the couch today?"

"Why not a bunk?" Mio inquired.

"I think she'll try to sneak into my bed when I'm asleep..." The girl shivered at the thought.

Mugi snickered. "Is that so?"

Azusa blushed profusely. "I-It's not funny! S-she hugs like a vice!"  
Needless to say, the other three girls- excluding Yui- broke out into laughter.

And so the first night of many began, as both bands began their preparations to face each other.

* * *

_One week later, in Beacon Assembly Hall..._

The hall was packed to the sides with students who had heard the news of the rematch between Hokuago Tea-Time and Team RWBY. Everyone had come out to see the spectacle of both bands going up head-to-head against each other- there were even some people hailing from the city just to see it.

Blake peered out from behind the curtain as they finished setting up the instruments.

"Woooow...that's a huge crowd." The catgirl noted. "...maaaan."

Mugi clapped happily. "That's great! We'll be able to show everyone our skill, huh?"

"...don't think this is over yet, Kotobuki." Blake declared hot-bloodedly. "Just because I'm not after your moe anymore doesn't mean I will NOT enjoy being your opponent!"

The calm heiress giggled. "I see how it is. I will enjoy being your opponent too."  
"...heh. Touché, Kotobuki. Touché."

"H-hey...guys..."  
Mio stumbled out from behind the stage, wearing a maid outfit. She was blushing heavily, looking horrified at what she was wearing.

"...t-this was...R-Ritsu's idea..." The bassist squeaked out, as her partner giggled behind her.

Blake stared at her, taking in her figure.

"...what...the..." The catgirl uttered, blushing herself at the girl. She really _did_ look attractive-

"KYAAAAAAH!"

"What-" Blake was suddenly interrupted by Yui glomping her hard, nuzzling her cheeks into her.

"You're so cute! You're a cat girl like Azunyan!"  
"G-gah!" The catgirl struggled in her grasp. "W-what does this girl eat?!"

Mugi chuckled. "That means she likes you."

"I-It feels...like the life is being...squeezed out of me..." Blake choked out as Yui relinquished her. She gasped for breath. Yang helped her up.

"Wow. Your manliness did NOT help you any..."  
"...s-shut it, Yang."

Cinder poked her head in. "You guys better get ready. This is it."

Blake nodded quickly. "Alright. Well.

May the best band win."

Ritsu cracked her knuckles, giving them a determined glare. "Yeah! And the loser has to buy us all cakes!"

Mio squeaked. "C-can I...take this off now?"  
"...no." Ritsu grinned cheekily.

"We have to win!" Yui gasped in shock. "WE HAVE TO WIN!"

Yang smirked mischievously. "Cake sounds nice. I'll look forward to it, Ritsu."

Blake nodded, returning the glare.

"We'll see about that."

...

"Ladies and gents!" Cinder announced. "May I introduce to you...the second MusicFest this year? No judges- unfortunately, our esteemed judges from last year couldn't make an appearance."

"Sawachan abandoned us here..." Yui mumbled sadly as she took her place, slipping on her beloved Gitah and patting it for good luck.

She looked over to see Blake staring right back, Fuckslayer glowing with an ominous sheen in the darkness behind the curtain.

"...however, this means it'll all be up to you to decide which band is better! Will it be our home team, the one and only Team RWBY?

Or will it be the reigning defenders, the girls right out of Sakuragaoka High School, Hokuago Tea-Time? Let's find out!

Girls, open the curtains!"

The pyromancer stepped out of the way as the curtains lifted, revealing the girls on each side, ready and raring to go.

"Without further ado, since I know you don't want to hear my babbling...

Hokuago Tea-Time, with their first song, Go!Go!Maniac!"

Yui looked over to her bandmates.

"Let's give this all we have! For the cakes!"

Weiss grumbled at Blake.

"If we lose, I'm not buying that girl cake." The heiress remarked. "Have you seen how many she eats?!"

"Come on, let's go!" The frontman of the opposition declared.

And so, Hokuago Tea-Time began their own song. It wasn't long before she began singing.

"_Yabai tomeranai tomeranai! Hiru ni yoru ni asa ni singing so loud!"_

_..._

"_We have a fabulous BODY, SOUL and LOVE!"_ Yui belted out as the song ended, leaving it up to her bandmates to finish up for her.

She struck a typical rocker pose, with the sign of the horns in one hand. Ritsu stared at her strangely.  
"What are you doing?!"  
"I'm being a rock star!"

Regardless, the audience burst into applause, raising their HTT signs over their head and cheering loudly.

"Thank you all so much!" Yui cried over the microphone. "You're all amazing too!"

Cinder approached the mic, clearing her throat. "If you would please?"

"O-oh! Sure!" She backed away, letting the pyromancer take center stage.

Blake cracked her knuckles, turning to her team. "Are you ready to blow them away as hard as those lot did?"  
Weiss closed her eyes. "I suppose."

Yang grinned. "You betcha."

"Let's give it all we got!" Ruby declared.

"And without further ado- I love saying that," Cinder chuckled to herself before continuing. "Team RWBY, with Time to Say Goodbye!"

Once again, the audience cheered as the four took center stage.

Weiss inhaled deeply, readying her voice for the song. She looked across the audience, knowing exactly what was coming.

'_Well...if Blake wants to give it a go...I may as well.'_

Blake and Ruby began playing their parts as Weiss opened her mouth to sing.

"_There's a point where it tips, there's a point where it breaks, there's a point where it bends and a point we just can't take...aaanymore..."_

_..._

"_How the time seemed to fly_!" Weiss belted out over the crowd, which seemed to cheer every verse. _"From our carefree lives!_

_And the solitude and peace we always knew!"_

She finished the song with a flourish- almost in sync with Blake's own, and listened to the audience's rapturous applause, taking in the adulation. She could even see some raise the stylized rose that was their team's symbol over their heads.

Ruby cheered. "I think they loved it!"

Blake smirked, folding her arms. "Indeed, indeed they did."

Ritsu, meanwhile, looked concerned.

"Oh crap!" The drummer cried. "They might...actually beat us!"  
"Not if we try our best!" Yui put both fists up, clenching them and puffing her cheeks out. "We'll just have to play better than them!"  
"You know, doing that doesn't make you look intimidating..." Azusa pointed out. The frontman pouted.

"Meanie..."

* * *

And so, the two bands came head to head for the next three songs. Hokuago Tea-Time stole the floor with their renditions of beloved songs _'U &amp; I' _and '_Don't say lazy'_, while RWBY retaliated with _'Gold'_\- sung by a duet of Yang and Ruby, to boot- and Weiss' powerful performance of _'Mirror Mirror'._

Both sides stalled out with '_Listen!'_ for Hokuago Tea-Time and '_Caffeine' _for team RWBY, leaving them at an impasse and the audience hungering for more.

Cinder clapped as she took the mic once more.

"It seems our two bands are equally matched!" The pyromancer declared. "What pieces will they have up their sleeves this time?

Well...we might as well start off. Hokuago Tea-Time with their most famous piece! Fuwa Fuwa Time!"

Yang blanched.

"Crap." The brawler muttered, concerned. "We can't beat that! We got _beaten_ the last time they pulled that out!"

Blake crossed her arms smugly. "Oh, I think we can. Fuwa Fuwa Time has got _nothing_ on what I've got up my sleeve."

They got started, the beginning chords met with applause and cheering. Yui's expression was one of child-like amazement as she continued playing, before she began to sing.

"_Kimi wo miteru to itsumo haaato dokidoki! Yureru omoi wa mashumaro mitai no fuuuwafuwa!_

_Itsomu ganbaru!_" She sang, with Mio repeating it herself. _"Kimi no yokogaao!_

_Zutto mittete mo kizukanai yo ne! Yume no naka nara..._

_Futari no kyori chijimeraeru no ni naaa!"_

_..._

"_Fuwafuwa taimu! Fuwafuwa taimu! Fuwafuwa taaaaimu!"_ Yui ended the song with a sweeping movement on her guitar, resembling a windmill as her bandmates topped off the song with their own touches.

The audience was enraptured; half the hall was standing up clapping, and the majority of the hall was lifting HTT banners. Yang was even more concerned.

"Blake...I hope this works!" The brawler remarked. Blake slipped on her triangle shades, smiling confidently.

"It will."

"And last, and not least!" Cinder declared. "Team RWBY, with _This Will Be The Day_!"

Blake grinned. "Let's do this!"

Sweeping her hands towards her Core Drill, she plucked it from her neck and slipped it into her fingers, using it as her pick.

'_It's time to prove ourselves.'_

The familiar chords at the beginning came on, and the audience roared their approval, but it had not begun in earnest yet. Blake was only getting started.

Turning to Weiss, she nodded, and the heiress retreated backstage, knowing she wasn't going to sing this one.

"_They see you as small and helpless..._" Blake sung. "_They see you as just a child!_

_Surprise when they find out that a warrior will soon run wild!_"

As she played, she began glowing green with energy, and Fuckslayer red, channeling her Aura and Spiral Power into performing the best she ever had, with her fingers plucking at the chords almost seamlessly.

"_This will be the day we've waited for! This will be the day we open up the door!" _The catgirl almost roared.

"_I don't wanna hear your absolution! Hope you're ready for a revolution!_

_Welcome to a world of new solutions, welcome to a world of bloody evolution..._

_In time! Your heart will open minds! A story will be told!_

_And victory is in a simple soul!"_

The audience had already stood up and Blake hadn't even finished half the song. She knew it was over.

...

"_In time! Your heart will open minds! A story will be told...that victory is in a simple soul!"_

Blake finished off with a final flourish.

The whole hall was standing up and cheering, hailing applause onto the girls. Ruby looked proudly upon them.

"Well, the people have spoken!" Cinder cheered. "Team RWBY wins!"

"We did it!" The reaper cheered. "We...we won!"

Ritsu pouted. "Oh come on!

...though...I guess you guys played well, so you deserve it."

Mugi merely clapped. "Good show."

Yui ran over to hug Blake tightly.

"Now to give the winner her prize!"

Quickly thinking, Blake left an illusion of herself in the frontman's path and slipped away, leaving her to hug nothing.

"Wah!" Yui cried out. "Noooo!"

Weiss sighed, tired but triumphant as the audience rained adulation upon them.

"...heh." The heiress closed her eyes. "I guess we can win once in a while."

"Good go." Blake congratulated her opponents, extending her hand to Ritsu.

The drummer shook it firmly.

"You too. Let's do that again some other time."

"Damn straight." Blake grinned. "Then I can own you again."  
"Nuh-uh! We'll beat you next time!"

And so ended another afternoon in Beacon. Blake had reclaimed her manliness and her beloved throne, and team RWBY had earned new friends.

All was well in Beacon. At least, until the next day.

* * *

**END**

**A/N: Woo, that took too long! Next chapter, Remnant's Reclaimer, thanks to ****Hysterical Clerical Hijinks****! That was tense and HAVE A STINGER**

* * *

_Later that night..._

Ren and Nora swung a burning pot of maple syrup over a hooded person, who was kneeling before them. Nora bore a medallion with the Antic Order's logo stamped upon it, as Ren finished the holy rite he was executing.

"And so...by the power vested in me by the powers of Zelretch, Suzumiya and Okazaki..." The gunslinger pronounced. "I...Lie Ren, of Clan Lie, welcome thee into the Antic Order, and give thee permission to carry on our mission throughout the land and multiverse beyond!

Go forth, and strive to commit your antics. That is, after you swear your oath." Ren announced as Nora extended her medallion to the hooded figure.

"Rise, Tsumugi Kotobuki, latest member of the Order."

Mugi cast off the hood, smiling happily as she took on the medallion.

"My, my. This certainly is fun! I'm part of a secret order now!" The heiress giggled. "Does this mean I'll have more things to allow Yui and Azusa to hug more?"

Ren nodded. "You will be presented with your antic kit within two weeks. Free postage and delivery.

Not offered in Vacuo."

Mugi's smile twisted into a mischievous smirk.

"That _pleases_ Mugi." She giggled deviously. Oh, all the _wonderful_ photos she'd be taking from now on...

"Now, the oath?"

"Oh, right!" The heiress snapped her fingers.

"Prepare for trouble, and make it double!

To protect the world from Yandere-festation!

To unite all pranksters under our nation!

To denounce the haters and create more love!

To extend our shipping to the stars above!

I, Tsumugi Kotobuki, swear to carry these aims of the Antic Order wherever I go!"

"_Excellent._" Ren rubbed his fingers, chuckling. "Absolutely _excellent._"

* * *

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	70. RWBY Reacts to Remnant's Reclaimer, Pt 1

**RWBY Reacts to Remnant's Reclaimer, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, courtesy of the lovely Hysterical Clerical Hijinks, we will be covering chapters 1-10 of Remnant's Reclaimer, with the remaining 17 chapters held up next week.**

**Also, it's about time I do this! Today, I will let you have a choice of subjects for me to write a chapter on!**

**The Games We Play will not be a viable option- I've asked Ryuugi, but I've not received a response yet. Judging by reviews, the most popular options are as follows: Attack on Titan, Accel World, Weiss Reacts, The Red Queen by DravynLeCrux, and finally Cards Against Remnant by RexHeller.**

**Please, visit the poll on my profile after you read this chapter and vote on the chapter you would most like me to write!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise future Ruby would be a super fanservicey sharpshooter with a badass cape even longer than the one she used to have.**

**Remnant's Reclaimer belongs to Hysterical Clerical Hijinks. Warning for spoilers.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Say, Weiss." Yang called, lying on her bed and reading casually through TvTropes on her tablet. "You ever wonder what our future selves would look like?"

Weiss was in one of the dorm's beanbags, sinking into it and reading one of the school's books on Grimm biology. She looked up at Yang curiously.

"No, I can't say I have. Why?"

"Well, I for one think it'd be cool if we turned out to be morebadass than we already are." The brawler chuckled. "I mean, I know I can't get any more badass than this-"  
"Typical narcissist." The heiress remarked coolly.

"-but really," Yang continued without having acknowledged her teammate's comment. "Wouldn't it be cool if we turned out to be uber-badasses?

Blake being some sort of cool Char clone- only without the crappy Nietzsche ripoff behavior, Ruby being the moe Grim Reaper of...Grimm? Hah, Grimm Reaper!" Yang snorted, giggling, before continuing.

"Me being, obviously, the hot bartender of an awesome nightclub, and you being...oh, the cold CEO of the Schnee Dust Company, only ever being warm in private with your loving wife Ruby-"

Weiss blushed profusely. "Y-Yang! W-what are you implying?!"  
"Oh come off it! You're both of age, you're both in love. Frankly, if this wasn't a T-rated fic, Elf wouldn't be so lenient." Yang pointed out helpfully. "It's not like the fans haven't been begging for a lemon fic in the Reactsverse since-"  
Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes.

"Yang, just shut up. Please. For the sake of all that is good and holy, shut up."

Blake munched on her tuna sandwich, bouncing a red ball off of the wall opposite her bunk.

"Yeah. I'm curious about that too." The catgirl admitted. "Some guy gave me a suggestion over on DustFiction about what I should read.

He suggested a fic called Remnant's Reclaimer, which apparently is about that specific subject."  
"Future me?" Ruby inquired, rubbing her chin. "Well...that reminds me of that one fic AU we read a long time ago about my kids with Weiss...

...sounds good enough. I think we should look up this fic. All votes say I?"

"Well, I've got nothing else to do." Blake shrugged, slinging herself off of her bed. "Sure, I'm game."

"Another afternoon of pigging out on snacks and reading the fans' stories?" Yang laughed. "Sure, let's do it!"  
Weiss stood up as the catgirl and brawler walked out of the room.

"Wait, we're actually-"  
Ruby had already strolled over to the computer to turn it on.

"Yeah, we're going to read it." Ruby answered, nodding. "You ever feel like this is just one of those afternoons where we don't do anything?

I mean, one afternoon, we're going around and facing bands from other countries and fighting evil granddads, and next, we're sitting around and doing nothing but reading fanfic." The reaper noted slowly. "That ever seem weird to you?"  
"...not at all." Weiss responded calmly. "After all, we are trained to fight monsters and those who would threaten the stability of Vale.

It's only natural that we spend some of that time acting like heroes in a fairy tale, and others like normal girls ought to spend their time."  
Ruby smiled brightly. "Oh, okay!"

* * *

_Minutes later..._

"Alright, he definitely isn't screwing around, this writer." Yang whistled. "He went for the full she-bang; the longcoat, the boots, the skirt, the eyepatch."  
Ruby frowned. "You know, I always lose a bodypart in fanfics...I mean, I lost an eye in this one, I lost an arm in that other one...next thing you know, I lose my head or something.

How would that work? You can't lose your head, right? Unless you can make it cybernetic or something. A cybernetic head would be cool."

Weiss sighed. "Ruby, you'd be dead if you lost your head."

"And Torchwick gets utterly wrecked." Blake whistled as Torchwick within the story was brutally and efficiently killed by the reaper. "The professor wouldn't be happy to hear that..."

Yang frowned, tapping her chin. "My Rubes, cutting someone's throat like that and owning him brutally?

That must be one crapsack future."

"Awww." Ruby giggled. "You have so much faith in my innocence~"  
"Of course!" Yang chuckled. "Only one person is allowed to do anything to that innocence, and that is Weiss."

Her expression suddenly turned harsh and her voice low.

"Anyone else does, and I'll make sure they're intimately familiar with the imprints of my gauntlets."

Blake cringed at Cinder's brutal demise.

"And Professor Fall would not be happy to see ..."

"That's an awful lot of stabbing..." Yang cringed. "I'm not sure you're old enough to read this, Rubes..."  
The crimsonette pouted. "I-I'm only two years younger than you!"

Weiss stared at the screen. "...oh my."  
"...so I thought my future self was...mom." Ruby sighed. "Huh."

Yang placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "Rubes...it's just a fic. Relax.

He didn't mean to...remind us of mom."

Even in the deeply insane world that the girls lived in, it seemed there were topics that one could not breach to them- the topic of Summer Rose being one.

The air was heavy with tension for a moment. Weiss hugged her girlfriend to her side, squeezing her tightly.

"...Ruby-"  
"I'm fine." The reaper spoke after a moment, giving Weiss a little smile. "I just needed a little time. I didn't expect him to bring up mom, that's all.

I'm a big girl now. I can handle it."

Weiss exhaled, giving her a kiss on the cheek and relinquishing her.

"Good to hear it, Ruby. Let's get on with it, eh?"  
Blake pretended to sweep her brow in relief. "The tension was getting a little high in here, eh? Let's get on with the fic already."

* * *

"And so, the usual question of one being in the afterlife is being asked." Weiss noted. "Well, she checked off one box on that list."

Yang examined her own scarf, reading it. It was almost identical, only saying 'Property of Yang Xiao Long, Ultimate Sexy' instead.

"...official badass doesn't sound like a bad idea...but dad would either laugh or kill me if he found out I replaced it with 'ultimate sexy'.

Which is more fitting, if I do say so myself." The brawler declared proudly.

"Narcissist." Weiss remarked drily.

Blake smiled. "Well, a cute reunion...aaand a terrible revelation."

"OH COME ON!" The brawler cried. "I'm dead?! That's not even-what?! That's stupid! Why am I dead?! I wanted to see my cool future self! Why does Ruby get one- and Weiss and Blake- but not me?!

I call bull! I'm too badass to die from a little blood loss!"

"So...you travelled back in time with explosions and running really fast..." Blake rubbed her chin, a glint in her eye."Interesting."

The heiress flicked her in her human ear.

"Don't you dare get any ideas!" Weiss snapped irritably. "You already have ONE ridiculous dimension-travelling machine, but if you dare mess with our timeline, I will personally execute you, Belladonna!"

"Oooh, shiptease between Blakey and Rubes~" Yang giggled. "Interesting~"

Blake scoffed. "Impossible. Ruby's just not my type, though I can see why people like that pairing."

Ruby drooled slightly at the description of strawberries. "You know, I could really go for some now-"  
"Not after you nearly ripped a hole in our collective fund trying to buy several tonnes of cookies!" Weiss snapped, wagging her fingers. "We said no cookies for a week!"

Ruby pouted, whimpering like a hurt dog. "...b-but...Weiss..."

"Two Rubys." Weiss suddenly realised and began twitching, trying to contain herself. "...two Rubys..."

Yang chuckled. "Hold your horses, snowflake. You're not going to go all Velvet on Ruby, are you?"

"O-Of course not!"

"...that reminds me of how Mom sang, you know." Ruby nodded briefly. "...let's read the next one already."

Yang exhaled deeply. "Alright."

The brawler frowned. "Dammit! At this rate, we'll never get ahead in this story! He keeps talking about our mother! Damn it!"

Weiss sighed irritably. "Alright, the first time is needed and the second time is fine, but the third time...

It's like he knew you people were going to read this."  
Ruby shrugged. "Eh. I'm fine now. Although...people do say I look like my mom..."  
"Well, you don't look like both our mothers, thankfully." Yang chuckled. "I don't think you inheriting Yin's...assets...would be all that good."

Ruby crossed her arms over her chest, blushing. "S-Sis!"

"Oh dear." Blake placed a finger on her lip. "Cinder's screwed."

"I'm scared to think how that Ruby would react to our Cinder..." Weiss shivered at the thought. "That might not end well, all things considered..."

"Ahhhhh crap, future badass Ruby killed someone!" Yang yelled in shock. "That can't be good.

Okay, she probably didn't clean the thing before travelling back in time, but still..."  
Weiss twitched. "...this is bringing back bad memories, bad memories."

"...Blood Rose..." Ruby shuddered, remembering the psychopathic incarnation of herself she had read about.

* * *

"...well, never let it be said Ruby's not a dunce in the future to not think about the fact that we probably haven't killed anyone like her!" Weiss cried. "Seriously!"

Ruby rubbed the back of her head. "...I hope I'll never have to...resort to that kind of fighting..."

Blake continued reading. She cringed.

"...weelll...it seems she basically GORED Cinder. Professor Fall would not be happy to hear that."  
"When we're done reading this, I'm showing her this fic." Yang remarked. "Then she can feel my pain about being killed off all the time..."  
"To be fair, you're the archetypal mentoring big sibling." Blake pointed out. "It'd be easy to kill you off as opposed to, say, Ruby."  
"Gee, thanks!" The brawler remarked sarcastically. "How reassuring!"

"Only saying-" The catgirl stopped.

"I'm in a coma?!" Blake cried. "That's just not fair! Really?!"

Weiss grumbled darkly. "Speak for yourself. I lost an arm."

"At least you can still move!" The catgirl retorted, dissatisfied. "Why is it that me and Yang get owned?!"

Ruby pouted. "And we don't even to get to join in on the beating up of baddies! Boring!"

"Beating up isn't the way I'd put it." Yang remarked drily.

Weiss rolled her eyes.

"As much as she's a good Huntress, I would sooner flee to the hills than let Ruby teach a class."

The reaper pouted further. "M-meanie!"

"Maybe 'Rose' could, but...you're a dunce. An adorable, loveable dunce who I love very, very much, but a dunce."

Ruby sulked, crossing her arms and harrumphing. Yang snickered fondly.

"That, there, is why I can never imagine her turning into a hardened killer. Badass? Probably, but a badass adorable. Not a cool, anti-heroic badass." The brawler pointed out.

"And may that never change." Weiss stated.

* * *

Weiss facepalmed, shaking her head.

"Hopeless." The heiress stated bluntly. "Jaune thinks he has a chance with Rose. Absolutely hopeless."

Yang rubbed her chin thoughtfully, a smirk on her face. "I'd say Rubes is eyeing Blakey here, eh?"

The catgirl blushed profusely. "Q-quit saying that! I-it's not true anyway!"

"Yeah, Ruby's cute and ditzy, but she's not Yui." Weiss stated, holding on to Ruby tightly. "She's mine."

The brawler grinned. "Don't let my wistful shipping get in the way of your clinginess~"

"..." The heiress exhaled loudly. "I walked into that one like an utter dunce..."

Yang pumped her fist in triumph.

Blake laughed. "Ahah, and Rose is going for Glynda!"

Ruby was taken aback, her cheeks red with embarrassment. ,W-what?! G-Goodwitch?!"

Yang rubbed her chin. "I dunno. Future Ruby seems pretty hot, and Glynda always did have eyes for mom...I say she could pull it off."

"Y-Yang! You're not helping!" The reaper cried, shaking her head of the thought of seducing Goodwitch.

"NononononononononoNO!"

The catgirl examined the screen briefly, before sighing.

"This is going to be a running gag, people mistaking Rose for your mom, isn't it. First us and then Ozpin..."

"Yep." Yang nodded, herself somewhat exasperated by the fact that not even the canonically insane Nora having posited the theory of Rose being future Ruby. "Seems like it."

"One only hopes that your father doesn't mistake her for your mother..." The catgirl mused. "That would just be awkward..."

* * *

"Alright, nothing to see here but exposition!" Yang called. "Well, apart from future Ruby being a bigger perv than me- I'm kinda sad about losing another thing- and Ozpin being utterly bamboozled!"

Weiss nodded slowly. "It seems she thought this whole thing through. I'm surprised she has the restraint not to kill Cinder right then and there, though, given the circumstances..."

The brawler slammed the desk with her fists, disappointed.

"NO BLAKE LEMONS?!" She cried. "DAMN IT!"

Blake blushed, hiding her face ashamedly.

"S-so...p-perverted..." The catgirl muttered.

...

Ruby gulped nervously.

"We are so stupid..." The reaper facepalmed. "Are we seriously going to fight my future self, who managed to beat Cinder of all people, and expect to win?"

Blake whistled. "I'm obsessed with manliness, not stupid. And that is one stupid decision..."

"Cocky." Weiss tutted. "Too cocky.

Just skip to the end, this can't end well."

Blake did so, cringing at the aftermath of the curb-stomp battle.

"Damn." Yang muttered. "I mean, we DID take Siegmund frigging Schnee, the guy who took on an army of Hunters and lived, but...I really don't think even we'd stand too much a chance against Rose."

Ruby sighed. "I guess it was inevitable we'd get beaten up."

Weiss grumbled irritably. "My story self is a fool for not seeing that coming..."

The brawler nodded in assent. "Ren's on the money. I'd bet on her first.

Still, I beat her in sexiness. Definitely."

Blake turned away at that, blushing slightly at the thought of Yang's sexiness. "I...don't think so."

"Blake!" Yang clutched her chest, pretending to be offended. "Y-you wound me!"

* * *

"SADISTIC WHORE?!" Yang cried, laughing herself to death. "Weiss, calling someone a sadistic whore?!"

Weiss blanched, disgusted. "H-how uncouth!"

"Uncouth or not, you basically turned into a future fencing badass." Blake noted annoyedly. "Which is more than I can say for story-me, stuck in a coma..."

"I'm dead, Blake, you can't beat that." Yang reminded her helpfully and somewhat morosely.

Ruby pouted. "Weiss! I can't believe you think I can't be all serious and cool!"

"I just don't peg you as anti-heroic." Weiss shrugged.

Yang raised a finger. "Well, actually, everyone else does. Even O-Elf-sama had his plans for a badass future Ruby with robotic legs."

"See?!" The reaper cried. "EVERYONE wants to make me lose body parts!

"It's probably the innocence element." Blake pointed out. "Y'know, losing your body part equals losing your innocence.

Like ruining a flower, only gorier."

Weiss nodded slowly. "And so, Rose converts me to the sacred church of Ruby. Or something."

"It'd be more of a sacred cult." Yang pointed out helpfully. "And oh hey! Dad!

...and he's out. Well."

"Probably thought Ruby was Summer. Again." Blake commented. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Or the last." The heiress added quickly. "Come on. Let's keep going."

* * *

"Our dad here's a little pansy..." Yang remarked. "Twice, he faints."

Blake scoffed. "He should take it like a man. It's only some days you get to see your grown-up daughter from the future."

"...good Dust, Ruby." Weiss whistled appreciatively. "You made something of yourself. Commander, too..."

"See? I can do badass things!" Ruby declared defiantly, puffing her cheeks out and accidentally smacking her elbow into the table.

"Owieeee! My funny bone..."

"Big-G? AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Yang laughed. "Well, she's certainly BIG..."

"Sounds like our Glynda." Blake chuckled. "Definitely."

"Family reunions!" Ruby cheered, still rubbing her elbow. "Woo!"

"And I wonder what Rose is planning now..." Weiss stated, curious. "What indeed..."

...

"Aha, risky." Yang wolf-whistled at Rose kissing Glynda. "And the scribbling of a thousand Hoodwitch fans was heard around the world."

Weiss looked jealously at the screen. "I-I see...so...corrupting the staff is her tact..."

Blake smirked. "And she does one hell of a job."

"That's just...nononononono..." Ruby shook her head vigorously. Yang looked thoughtful.

"Glynda IS hot, Ruby. You don't have to hide it."

"No! I'm taken!" The reaper huffed. "I only have perverted thoughts for one person!"

Weiss snapped angrily, blushing. "D-don't say things like that! I-it's...embarrassing!"

"And Rose knows Blake's a Faunus before she tells us." Yang crossed her arms. "Why didn't you tell us, anyway? We wouldn't have bitten your head off or anything."

Blake pointed at Weiss immediately.

"Exhibit A."

"In my defence, growing up with Siegmund Schnee for most of my life wasn't fun either!" The heiress cried in protest.

"And it seems you're not the only one who's jealous, Weiss." Ruby pointed at the screen, where Blake's jealousy over Rose kissing Glynda was seen.

The catgirl blushed darkly.

"...t-this story..."

Yang grinned. "I'm liking it already."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Next time, chapters 11-27! And please, remember to vote on the poll on my profile!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	71. RWBY Reacts to Remnant's Reclaimer Pt 2!

**RWBY Reacts to Remnant's Reclaimer, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! As of now, the poll is now closed, and the top three choices were, in order- Cards Against Remnant, Weiss Reacts, and Accel World. Luckily, I figured you people would chose Cards Against Remnant anyway, so I went up to ****RexHeller**** and asked him for permission.**

**The answer's yes. It'll be featured. Your choices will also be taking into perspective- so a recap of Weiss Reacts and, of course, a reaction to Accel World will come. Also, another shoutout to ****Hysterical Clerical Hijinks**** for letting us do his story, and now that that's settled, let's give it everything we've got!**

**Oh, and finally, good news, all. We have permission from Ryuugi, courtesy of our devoted reader D.C Draco, to do The Games We Play! Give both that author and our reader a big round of applause- the former for being awesome, the latter for taking the time to ask him for us!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Norn would have a canon equivalent (Penny doesn't count, because she's not a robot ninja maid.)**

**Remnant's Reclaimer belongs to ****Hysterical Clerical Hijinks.**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Chapter 11_

"It's official. Blake is Batman." Yang declared as she read the first couple of sentences. "Or Batwoman. Whatever.

What was I saying again?"  
Ruby rubbed her chin. "Maybe not their Blake, but OUR Blake might be.

I mean, she's rich, she's got gadgets, criminal hunting skills, half the school is scared of her..."

"And rightfully." Blake crossed her arms, scoffing. "My manliness is superior, and tempered again with the trial of moe fire!

If only I could figure out how to mix moe with manliness...Nia was a natural mix, but I want to be able to harness that power..." The catgirl rubbed her chin. "Interesting..."  
Yang frowned. "You know, Ruby, I could give you hugs too."

Weiss twitched at the thought of Ruby snuggling up with Rose. "Hm...indeed...y-you have other friends, do you not?"  
Yang rubbed her temples. "Weiss, don't pull a Lucina and be jealous of your own younger self. Or older self as may be the case."  
"Whoever this _Lucina_ is, I'm not pulling a her!" Weiss snapped irritably. "I have no reason to be jealous of a fictional version of Ruby...hugging another fictional version of Ruby!"

Blake sighed, herself rubbing her temples in confusion. "And this is why I don't work on time travelling crap. This is giving me a headache and this isn't even happening to us right now!"

"D'awww..." Yang giggled. "Future Ruby's getting all protective. She really is like Mom, isn't she?"

"Yeah." Ruby chuckled. "Yin really is protective, even if she's shy..."

"Protecting the people without any concrete aim and being an anti-hero..." The catgirl frowned at Rose's aims. "...that can't end well. She'll end up like Archer at this point."  
"Oh! Oh!" The brawler raised a hand. "You know what, I'm just waiting for someone to do a UBW parody using that premise.

Rose sounds pretty hot, too, just like Archer..." Yang started drooling. Weiss flicked her in the ear to snap her out of it.

"Tch. Pervert." The heiress grumbled. "Idiotic pervert. I swear, one of these days, Yang, you'll eat your words and karma will bite you in the backside you love showing off so much."

Yang stuck her tongue out mischievously. "Come on, Weiss. Do you really think the fans will let that happen?

It'll be a cold day in Hell before I let you get your own back."

"That cold day might be coming pretty soon..." Blake retorted with a chuckle. "You can't be getting away with this for much longer..."

Weiss grumbled. "And...naming your breasts?! Have you people no limit to your _depravity_?!"  
"Weiss, just because you don't have any to name doesn't mean you get to-" Yang promptly was interrupted by a slap on the back of the head, wincing as it hit.

"Get over yourself. " The heiress scoffed, not even blinking. "My chest is perfectly adequate and actually has a chance to grow more.

They might even be bigger than _yours_ one day."

Yang stared at her in shock. "Y-you..."

"Three years of being teased about my chest." The heiress reminded her. "I'm not that easy to bait now."

"PERVERTS!" Weiss screeched. "How could you even _think_ about...doing _that_ with Professor Goodwitch?!"

Yang rubbed her chin. "Come on, Weiss. Even _you_ had to have had that fantasy-"  
"Unlike you, Yang, I have only _one_ person I would _remotely_ consider doing that with!" The heiress snapped. "And the irony being that _she_ suggested that herself!"  
Ruby blushed slightly. "Hehehe..."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Teenage hormones. Typical. Manliness shall suppress those urges with ease."  
"Jaune's Semblance says otherwise~" Yang giggled teasingly. Blake nodded slowly at that, sighing.

"Right, Jaune's Semblance. Right."  
Weiss' eyes narrowed. "Blake, you're giving me that voice again. What are you planning?"  
"It's not an antic. I'm just...curious." Blake held up her hand, shaking her head. "Keep reading."

"On the plus side, I punched a freaking Grimm into a volcano!" The brawler punched her fist into the air. "Hell yeah!

If only I was awesome enough to _not die_."

"...I assure you, I am far _stronger_ of constitution than to faint if Xiao Long hurled herself into a volcano." The heiress huffed, irritated. "Besides, as this story says, she'd likely be spat out _naked_ and start dancing like a complete lunatic."

Yang shrugged. "What can I say? She's right...and WHOA!

Whoa, Ruby, whoa! Alright, this ship tease has gone far enough!" The brawler shook her head. "Alright, some ground rules here! Blakey's mine! MINE! And I'm not letting anyone have her!"

The catgirl blushed profusely, shaking her head vigorously. "Y-Yang! Seriously!"

Ruby pouted. "Yang, don't get mad just because a fic ships Ladybug...I have Weiss, anyway, but I wouldn't mind Blake at all."

She smiled at the catgirl, who put her head in her hands, blushing redder than the mecha she loved riding.

"You two did _not_ inherit a _thing_ from either of your mothers except looks..."

Weiss stared at the screen. "M-me and Xiao Long?!"

"WHAT?!" The brawler stared in horror at the passage Weiss was pointing at. "O-oh hell no! That's worse than losing Blakey to my little sister!"

"You're insufferable!" The heiress snapped. "Absolutely insufferable! I would _die_ rather than marry you!"

Yang glared at her. "And you're a killjoy who keeps raining on my parade!"

"Idiot!"

"Pervert!"

"Moron!"  
"Pettanko!"  
"Terrible older sister!"

"Take that back!"

Blake rubbed her temples as the two bickered. "Why am _I_ the sane one here?!"

"Those two are kinda like a tsundere couple, in a way..." Ruby giggled. "If it wasn't me, I bet Weiss would've gone with Yang..."

"Heh. You're not the only one who noticed?" The catgirl chuckled, moving onto the next chapter.

Her eyes widened in horror.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Blake threw herself away from the monitor. "No, no, no, no, NO!"  
Ruby raised an eyebrow, confused. "Huh? What's going-"

The whole chapter was about the future Ruby doing _very_ indecent things with Glynda- while not going into detail, both girls knew enough about the act to see where it was going, what with the moaning and the sudden lack of clothing.

The reaper blanched in terror, her eyes widening in shock as she stepped back from the computer.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The reaper cried, shaking her head and frantically changing the chapter. "NO! MY EYES! MY POOR INNOCENT EYES!"

"My manliness...did not prepare me...for this..." Blake shuddered. "Not at _all_..."

* * *

"GOOD DUST SCROLL DOWN!" Ruby shrieked as the indecency continued. "CONTINUE SCROLLING!"  
"I am, dammit!" Blake rapidly pushed the scroll wheel and pushed it down. "I am _not_ reading that!

The _thought_..."

"...now that it's settled that we're _clearly_ too much of a mismatch for each other, what did we-" Weiss started, but she was interrupted by a horrified Ruby.

"Y-you don't _ever_ want to know. _Ever_."

Yang whistled at the screen, having caught up slightly while missing the other indecent acts.

"He has a point." She admitted. "Us Xiao Longs, we just have to, ahem, show our _love_ to people~"  
"If you try that kind of indecent act in our dorm, I don't care if it's your genes or not, I _will_ personally _execute _you." Weiss threatened. "Don't even _think_ about it."

Blake scoffed. "And you called Qrow a punk. I mean future you, not you, Ruby."

"Sounds like something I'd say..." Ruby giggled. "Alright...but we shall _never_ speak again of what we read, agreed?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about. I think you must've seen something." Blake whistled.

"WOO!" Yang cheered. "Title drop!"

...

"Oh, are you _kidding_? We get offed by _poison_?!" Yang cried in frustration. "That's not even...GAH!

I hate this story. I get to do nothing awesome except _throw a Grimm into a volcano_.

Which is kinda offset by the fact that _I'm freaking dead._"

Blake shuddered slightly at the sight of Ozpin's dark side, the side brought out at the thought of losing many students.

She'd only ever seen that side once, and she believed herself to be the only person who'd ever seen it in the student body. That one time, of course, was when Siegmund Schnee had dared to invade Beacon to kidnap and possibly kill Weiss- and even Adam, a hardened terrorist, had been chilled to the core at seeing that side.

She was secretly thankful it was only once she'd seen him like that.

"Hey, I don't think Uncle Qrow smokes..." Yang pointed out. "Come on."

"Explosion on a stick. Why do I think Nora would _love_ that?" Weiss remarked drily. "Her weapon is basically that as it is to begin with.

Thank Dust that she hasn't the knowledge to take that _literally._"

"And Velvet is totally adorbs as she is in every fanfic that isn't written by O-Elf-Sama." Yang giggled. "Why can't WE have adorable Velvet? I have to lay traps out every _day_ to keep our Velvet off Weiss!"

_Meanwhile..._

Velvet slinked out of the vents onto a corridor, her ears caught in a bear trap and her whole body covered in slime.

"...not...fair..." The bunnygirl whimpered. "So not fair..."

Vivi petted her cheek kindly. "Pi pi pi."

"...if only O-Elf-Sama gave me more screentime..." Velvet pouted. "It's not fair...even characters like _Isara_ and _Neptune _get more than me! I-I used to be a _main character_!

Oh well...I'll get Weiss-sempai next time..."

Vivi patted her face sadly. "Pipipi..."

_Back in RWBY dorm..._

"Cardin, you absolute _moron_." Yang facepalmed. "Damn straight Hulk-Zwei wrecked you, you deserve it for _nearly blowing us all up_."

Weiss groaned. "Why must _every version of Cardin_ be a borderline-suicidally stupid moron who decides to pull the stupidest plans ever and insist on being a racist when _so many Faunus _in the school could just drop him without a fight?

I sincerely doubt even the supposedly-canon Cardin would be so stupid..."

"Least he gets his." Ruby sighed, shaking her head. "What a moron..."

Yang cheered. "Family time! WOOOO!"

* * *

"See? I'm not a _complete_ pervert! I have a sense of _honor_!" Yang cheered, pumping her chest at the passage talking about Yang's approach to romance.

"You're still a hopeless pervert. A hopeless _romantic_ pervert, but a pervert." Weiss rolled her eyes. "And a fanfic proves absolutely _nothing_-

You know, I'm tempted to skip this chapter." The heiress shuddered. "...I don't like the idea that I would _ever_ be paired with...Y-Yang..."

"Speak for yourself, I'm not exactly crazy for you either." Yang remarked. "It'd be like screwing your stupid idiot younger sister. It'd feel _wrong_."

The heiress crossed her arms. "And it would be like me having enough of a lack of inhibitions to even _try_ something so indecent with a perverted moron of a sister..."

Blake raised an eyebrow. "Did you two just admit that you think of each other as _sisters_?"  
"IT WAS A METAPHOR!" Both girls snapped in unison.

Ruby blanched, before rapidly turning red in embarrassment. "...oh Dust..."

"NOT AGAIN!" Blake cried. "Alright, this whole _Glynda_ thing, we are _never_ speaking of it again! EVER!"  
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "What Glynda thing-wait, wait, never mind. I don't want to know.

If Belladonna is _horrified_ by it, I _really_ don't want to know."

...

"And they're going dragon-hunting." Weiss rubbed her hands, before picking up a vanilla sorbet sachet. "Good Dust."

Blake whistled. "Your dad would be perfect for this kinda stuff. He took a big dragon Grimm down, didn't he?"

"The Dragonslayer of Vale," Yang nodded slowly; her parents, and indeed most of the Hunters and Huntresses of Siegfried and Taiyang's generation knew of the feat.

Siegfried, by himself, equipped with nothing but his massive sword-cannon Balmung, had saved his patrol of third year students from a massive dragon Grimm by the name Fafnir by engaging it in a three-day battle to allow his teammates to flee that ended in Siegfried walking back to Beacon, lugging the creature's skull back as his trophy, and looking none the worse for wear.

To this day, he was one of the only Hunters who had ever attained the prestigious rank of Grandmaster Hunter- designating the best and brightest of the best and brightest Hunters in all of the four Kingdoms, with a special designation as the Dragonslayer of Vale, after the feat he had become famous for.

"Good Dust. That went..." Yang shuddered. "That went badly wrong."  
"And now Uncle Qrow and Ruby are about to get roasted by a giant angry dragon thing." Blake sighed.

"How they pull _this_ out of their backsides, I have absolutely _no _idea."

...

Weiss facepalmed.

"Sure, kill the Hunters instead of running from the giant dragon thing trying to kill you all! That's going to solve your issues right away!"

"Eh. As they say, a fire burns brightest when it is closest to burning out. Or something." Blake shrugged. "Guess they figured if they could take you out, it'd be worth being burned alive by a giant dragon thing."

Ruby started jumping in her seat.

"Oh, I can just feel the awesome coming. I can _feel _it in my bones, I _know_ this Izhar guy's going down like a rock..."  
Weiss scanned the text carefully. "...what are the odds Taiyang's "explosion on a stick" is going to show up?"  
"Almost certainly." Yang cracked her knuckles. "Let's see what the next chapter has in store for us, kay?"

* * *

Team RWBY was in awe at the absolutely glorious- and gory- way Izhar was dispatched.

"...good Dust." Blake was the first to speak. "...that was..."  
"AWESOME!" Ruby cheered. "Absolutely AWESOME!"

Yang laughed maniacally at the ending. "WAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dad got...dad got a freaking _loveheart_ stamped on his butt by a Grimm! Oh, that's _genius..._"

Weiss rubbed her temples.

"So you ignored the massive fight between the Grimm equivalent of the Behemoth and focus on the fact your dad now has a heart-shaped _scar_ on his backside?

Xiao Long, you really are immature."

The brawler stuck her tongue out. "Guilty as charged. I guess I'm just too awesome to be awed by this unlike you petty mortals."

"...how you do _not_ find this awesome is beyond me..." The catgirl almost _drooled_ with amazement. "...this is _freaking manly as hell!_

_THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF MANLINESS!"_

...

"Sweet, convalescence chapter." Yang nodded in approval. "Yang likey."  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "Not taking that as a stamp of approval."

"...and I'm STILL not amused about Rubes taking away my Blakey!" The brawler cried. "Come on!"

Blake shook her head. "J-just quit saying stuff like that, Yang!"

"Don't go all Weiss on me, Blake!"

"Don't use my name as a verb!" The heiress snapped angrily.

...

"THEY SPOKE ABOUT NARUTO?!" Yang roared, half-turning into a berserker at the thought. "I WILL END THEIR LIVES-"  
Ruby and Weiss held her back, trying to keep her from storming out of the room.

"I-It's just an anime!" The heiress cried. "D-don't kill them over it!"  
Blake rolled her eyes at Weiss- the heiress had no right to say that, not after all the times _she'd_ threatened to eviscerate authors who wrote perverted fanfiction- but said nothing.

"...wait, wait, wait, my future me...what is she...is she crushing on present Blake?!" Ruby cried out, shocked.

Yang's struggling increased.

"OH COME ON! G-GET YOUR OWN BLAKEY, RUBES! REALLY?!"

Ruby cried out in pain. "I-I can't hold her for much longer! B-Blake, move to the next chapter! Q-quick! S-she'll bust out of here soon!"

...

Weiss facepalmed for the umpteenth time that day. "And now I'm a bigot. Again. Are you _kidding_?!

I can take my father being called a bigot- at this point, it's all but par for the course- but me, again?!"

"Easy target and it's canon." Blake shrugged. The heiress frowned, unsatisfied.

"At this rate, I'll have a worse reputation than _Cardin_."

"...oh come on..." It was Yang's turn to frown. "Quit talking about my mom..."

"Darn it all." Weiss cursed irritably. "Why must our families be terrible in every story we read?!"  
Blake shrugged. "Angst, I suppose? This is canon-based, after all."  
"Canon Vale, whatever that place is, already sounds like a far worse place to live than tolerating the likes of giant mecha ravaging the campus..." The heiress grumbled irritably. "And I'll be _damned_ if I see my sister being treated like that, or ever feeling like that. I don't care if she's my older or younger one, either.

If she ever feels like that...I _will_ ensure the person responsible will pay for it. At least one trait they have about me in fanfic is true."

"Cold-hearted as hell." Yang shuddered. "Yeesh."

Blake rubbed her chin. "...you know, I should've told you guys I was a Faunus earlier."  
"Yeah!" Yang snapped. "I mean, we kinda figured, what with the bow and all, but come on! We weren't exactly going to eat you or anything!"  
Weiss crossed her arms. "Despite some of my attitudes, I would've accepted you as you are.

A moronic, mecha-crafting idiotic girl who has nothing on her mind but manliness and some idiot named Kamina."  
"Thanks." Blake's eyes narrowed, glaring at Weiss irritably. "Real heartwarming. I can almost _feel_ myself melt inside."

"...and see? I can deal with cat ears! I just can't deal with idiots and morons!" Weiss cried, pointing at herself feeling Blake's ears.

"On the plus side, you're a huge hit with the fanboys." Yang giggled. "The fanboys- and fangirls- love them a nice, sexy kitte-"  
"YANG!" Blake blushed. "P-please!"

"...sugartits?" The brawler rubbed her chin. "...eh. I'll take it. There are worse names. Besides-"  
"Don't even _start._" Weiss glared at her intensely. "You make _one_ more perverted comment, and I will _punt_ you all the way into the Forest of Forever Fall. You understand?!"

Ruby winced at the unfortunate team CRDL- the unfortunate fools who had insulted Yang- and their horrible fate.

"...ooooouch." The reaper seethed. "...yeeeep. They're going to need a while to fix that."

...

"Future Ruby's idea of recovering is beating crap up." Yang shrugged. "Not surprised. Somehow."

Ruby frowned. "...oooow, that's harsh about Raven..."

"I don't get where they got the idea Raven's my mom in canon, but eh. She's awesome, I'll deal with it." Yang shrugged. "And pretty hot, too."

"And they're moving into action!" Blake declared. "Cinder's definitely screwed now.

Cinder would kill the guy who wrote this fic. Probably. Or make him buy her burritos to apologise."

...

"NO NO NO NO NO" Yang shook her head at the end of the next chapter, as Yang and Weiss shared a tent, initiating very, _very_ indecent acts.

Weiss followed suit. "MOVE THE PAGE NOW I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS"

Blake smirked evilly at the brawler, who blanched in terror.

"This is for _all_ the perverted things you've said! Have fun reading about you and Weiss donning the velvet hat, so to speak~"  
"NOOOOOOO"

...

Yang was huddled in a corner, horrified from the end of the last chapter.

Weiss twitched. "Oh, seriously...Ruby, _now_ you notice that older you is crushing on Blake?

YOU should notice. YOU'RE in love with her too, don't you think your OLDER self would be?!"

"I-I'm a dunce!" Ruby cried in protest. "I-I don't exactly _notice_ things like that!"

Blake sighed in relief.

"At least Yang's safely down and not a threat with her perversion..." The catgirl remarked.

"No...no Weiss...no way...gross..." The brawler muttered to herself, shaking her head.

Weiss frowned.

"...I don't know whether to be offended or pleased that I am the only one that lustful idiot would never consider a target."

...

"..." Blake stared in horror at the next chapter.

"I...I..."

Weiss looked even more irritated than usual, if that was possible. "COME ON! EVEN YOU'RE A PERVERT?!

DUST DAMN IT, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!"

Ruby raised a hand weakly. "I-I'm not-"  
"YOUR FUTURE SELF IS!"

"...hehe...Rubes and future Rubes...k-kinky..." Yang offered up, still recovering from the horrors of the implications between her and Weiss.

"Y-you be quiet!" Ruby cried. "...I-I'm leaving a review, t-this story is nice, but _scary_..."

* * *

From: **DaRougeFightingHood**

uh wat

i luv weiss

altho blakes fine too, she is pretty nice and she smells good and why am i saying this weiss will kill me

you made yang all grossed out though with the weiss thing

-ruby

ps. when can we have more blowy up moments

* * *

Blake crossed her arms. "Well, it seems Yang has met her match in perversion."

"...alright. If Future Ruby is that much of a pervert, I should keep Ruby _well_ away from her..." Weiss grumbled. "I'll be damned if Xiao Long _infects_ her with pervertedness..."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: WOO! That's finally done! A shoutout to ****Hysterical Clerical Hijinks****for letting us do his fic!**

**Next chapter, the OTHER one you may have all been waiting for, Nora Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	72. Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 1!

**Neptune Reacts to Tankery!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, to finish off one more of the older plot threads we started a VERY long time ago, but before that, I MUST ask something .I must request that people stop asking for Monster Hunter, as I neither own it nor have the funds to buy it. Part of my policy is that I prefer not to do games without owning them- FNAF being a sole exception to that one rule.**

**With that in mind, however, let's get this out of the way!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Velvet would be a hand-to-hand combatant.**

**Girls und Panzer belongs to Studio Actas.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Schnee Tea Parlor, Vale..._

Neptune twiddled his fingers nervously, clutching a cup of tea in his hands. He looked around nervously, waiting for his business partner, of sorts.

'_I can't believe it...I really can't believe it. I...I mean, I knew I was going to grab attention advertising Beacon's Sensha-do team on the net..._

_...but to grab the likes of Ms. Nishizumi_...' Neptune breathed in heavily, trying to calm his nerves.

He had remembered the phone call he'd gotten a long time ago, back when he was busy watching their tanks be repaired in the hangar after that fateful interruption by Blake's Mecha Club in their inaugural meeting.

The boy's heart had skipped a beat when he heard that one of the modern legends of Tankery, Miho Nishizumi herself, wanted to speak to him about it. Neptune, of course, had never dreamed that he'd ever get to talk to her in person- after all, while he'd spent some of his childhood watching old matches- and, yes, crushing over her- he never thought that Beacon would ever let him have his wish, nor that he'd be talking to who was basically a living legend within the sport.

Then again, that was the benefit of having the likes of Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie as Student Council. One could get away with anything short of actual crime, and even then people might be inclined to look the other way.

It took him months to finally get around to doing it, but he'd called her back and asked for a meeting. She'd agreed almost instantly, much to his surprise.

Now he was waiting around, about to talk to one of his childhood idols about the sport he'd fought tooth and nail to bring to Beacon.

And-

A woman's voice suddenly pierced the haze of Neptune's thoughts. "Excuse me?"

"Eh?" Neptune shook himself from his thoughts, looking up at the woman who'd interrupted him. "Yes-"

He stopped and almost gasped in surprise. The years had certainly been kind to Miho Nishizumi, very kind indeed.

She seemed taller- Neptune reckoned she was probably about chest height to him, but then again, he was pretty tall for someone of his age- and her reddish-brown hair was somewhat longer. She was wearing thin-rimmed glasses; perhaps her eyesight had gone slightly from years of trying to stare through clouds of smoke and shrapnel; and in place of the Oarai uniform Neptune had grown used to seeing her in, she was wearing a blue jacket and shirt, with a small brooch on her lapel, bearing a small stylized tank with three characters Neptune recognised anywhere- the characters standing for Tankery.

Miho smiled at Neptune, tilting her head slightly. "Are you Neptune Vasilias?"

"Y-yes, of course." He choked out nervously, reaching his hand up to shake hers. "Forgive me for being so rude. I-It's an honour to meet you, M-Ms. Nishizumi! I-I'm a huge fan!"  
She chuckled at the compliment. "I'm glad to see that someone appreciative of the sport took the initiative to spread it throughout the world."

She took his hand, shaking it firmly, and sat down in front of him, taking out a folder labelled with the same logo as on her brooch.

"I suppose you would like to get to business quickly?"

Neptune nodded quickly. "Of course. I don't wish to keep you long..."

"Very well." Miho adjusted her collar slightly. "As I understand it, you are the captain of the Beacon Tankery Team?"

"Yes."  
"You are aware that it is primarily a girl's sport?"  
"I grew up watching it, m-ma'am."

"And...forgive me for asking, but how many people are on your team, and how many tanks are you in possession of?"

Neptune thought quickly, rubbing his chin.

_Nora, Isara, Velvet, Pyrrha, Miltiades, Aspasia...that makes...six.'_

"Six people, four tanks." The boy explained. Miho adjusted her glasses.

"Four?"  
"We made some adjustments, m-ma'am."

Miho rubbed her chin, nodding slowly. "Understandable...alright. As I understand it, the Kingdom of Vale doesn't currently have a leading authority on the rules of Sensha-do.

However, as it would be nigh-impossible for the Japanese Sensha-do League to administer rulings to all of one school...Vasilias-san, I have an offer for you.

I am willing to provide you with two hundred thousand Lien."

Neptune's eyes almost bulged out in surprised. "T-two _hundred thousand_?!"

"This will go towards the starting and funding of Sensha-dou clubs in the rest of the continent, in order to promote the sport." Miho explained. "This will allow the Kingdoms to form their own League to administer rulings- of which we'll be able to help out in establishing.

As we are a growing sport, we always appreciate new start-ups. I...of course...have to ask you a favour."  
"Which is?"  
"Beacon's team must play a friendly match against Oarai Girls' School." Miho smiled. "Purely for publicity."

"A-against..._you_?!" Neptune's eyes widened in shock as he nearly dropped his teacup.

'_A-alright, Nora and Velvet are pretty good, for amateurs, and I know Isara's a pro at this stuff, but there's _no_ way we'll beat freaking Miho Nishizumi at-'_

The woman chuckled. "No, of course not. You'll go against the new team. I will be supervising the match.

Sadly, my...days of Tankery in the field are long behind me." She sighed sadly. "Most of my old friends are either acting as instructors or following their dreams, just as I am.

However, you will have to submit to the Japanese Sensha-do League rules."  
Neptune sighed in relief- partially from not having to engage a legend of the sport in a heated battle, and partially from her requests being over. "Alright. That sounds fair enough.

So, when will this publicity match be?"

* * *

_Later, in the Beacon Hangar..._

"One _week_?!" Isara, the club's mechanic, practically exploded at Neptune, who was taken aback by her outburst. She was normally more mellow and quiet, even when dealing with the likes of Nora.

"I...uh...thought it might be-"  
"Neptune, do you know how hard it is to prep a tank for battle?" The mechanic inquired. "It takes several hours, per tank. I have to run checks on all the systems, the hydraulics, the magazine, the engine, just before battle. I have to run maintenance on all our tanks to get them battle ready within the week, and I don't think I have time..."

Neptune looked worried as Isara shifted her shawl awkwardly, frowning. "U-uh, I can get them to reschedule!"  
"Dude, even if you did that, we still need more tanks." Sun pointed out. "We have, what, the Panzer and the Tiger."

"What about the Edelweiss?" Isara inquired hopefully. "That's a tank, right?"  
"Has to be made pre-1945." Sun shrugged. "Sensha-do League rules."

Isara's spirits sank. "...s-so you mean...we can't use the Edelweiss?"

Neptune frowned, rubbing the back of his head slowly. "...sorry...that was Ms. Nishizumi's condition for setting up the match."

The mechanic sighed, shaking her head. "...I-I see."

She hung her head in disappointment, clearly set on showing off her work. "I-it's just that...I could take off the upgrades and retrofit it to be...sorry. I was just...really looking forward to showing it off.

It's just that the Edelweiss is my life's work..."  
"Maybe another time." Sun rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

Nora, who had been silent until then and crossing her arms, pouted. "You mean we can't use our awesome blowy-up stuff on them?!"

"I'm sorry. They asked us to remove the Spiral Enhancements from the tanks." Neptune rubbed the back of his heads. "They said it wouldn't be fair at all.

The only concession I managed to get out of Miho was that guys could pilot the tanks, but even with that-"  
"We have enough for two tanks each." Sun sighed. "Three to one tank, the Panzer and the Tiger. We can't use the Heavy Tank and the Edelweiss...

If we're going up against Oarai, we're going to need at least two more tanks. And people to crew them."  
Nora looked up, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "If they let us recruit guys, then I can grab Renny~"  
"We'll need replacements for Miltiades and Aspasia, as they dropped out." Sun nodded slowly. "I suppose we could grab Jaune and Winter if that's the case."  
Neptune nodded, counting the group's numbers on his fingers. "Alright. Ren, Jaune and Winter makes one extra tank-"  
"Why don't they let boys pilot tanks again?" Isara interjected, rubbing her chin. Nora shrugged.

"Probably because all the weirdos keep writing crappy self-insert fanfics about it. I never really understood why..."

"We're also going to have to ditch Isara's shells." Neptune explained. "League-mandated shells only."

The mechanic sighed, looking down. "The pride of my work and I can't use either..."

"We still need to get one more crew." Sun pointed out. "Who are we going to recruit?"

Neptune's expression darkened. He knew that he had to recruit three more people, and he knew one of them wouldn't like it.

"...I have a couple of ideas. Isara, you're not going to like this."

She stared at him.

"Y-you're not seriously going to recruit..._her_...for this, are you? Look what she did to our tanks!"  
"Desperate times, Gunther. Desperate times."

Sun rubbed his temples. "You know, Neptune, this wouldn't have happened if you gave us more than a week to get ready for this thing."

"Hey, I was a bit busy being starstruck!"

"Starstruck or checking her out? You _did_ have the biggest crush on her back in the day." The monkey Faunus pointed out.

"It was a _little_ crush! And I got over that! Besides, she's twice my age! No way.

Now, if you excuse me...I've got to go talk to some people.

Blake is going to kill me."

* * *

_Later, in RWBY dorm..._

"No." Blake shook her head, vehement. "Absolutely not. I may have conceded that my pointless pursuit of trying to beat a bunch of innocent girls in a band standoff was childish and unmanly. I may have conceded that I am in fact somewhat annoying to the fans.

But I will in _no way_ help you guys with your stupid tanks!"

Neptune frowned. "Come on, Blake! It'll be fun! And besides, we got Norn and Minako to do it."

"No! I am NOT going to jump into what's basically a glorified cannon on treads! My whole moral compass is against this!" The catgirl snapped irritably. "You're going to have to find some OTHER person to sucker into it!"  
Neptune leaned by the door frame, sighing.

"You leave me no choice, Blake. I invoke the contract."

The catgirl's cat ears perked up, and her eyes narrowed.

"You _wouldn't dare._"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Blake, and I need an extra man to get into a tank. I'm calling in the contract clause.

I'll see you tomorrow morning, at eight o'clock. Don't be late. We're initiating training."

He walked off, leaving Blake in shock.

"T-that devious little..." She clenched her fist, irritated. "Damn it. I shouldn't _ever_ have signed that blasted thing..."  
"Huh?" Yang looked up at her, confused. "What's going on, kitten? What's this contract? Did you two do something behind my back?"  
"No." Blake muttered. "Neptune promised that he'd help me with grabbing the latest Ninjas of Love volumes from the bookstore every time they came out in exchange for one favour.

He called in that favour for _this_..." The catgirl shook her head, horrified. "I can't _believe _I'm doing this...

I can't believe I have to help those blasted mecha-traitors..."

Yang stuck her tongue out mischievously. "Looks tough for you, Blakey~

Good luck. I'll be rooting for you!"  
"Shut up, Yang." Blake retorted bitterly, looking away.

"Stupid unmanly Neptune..."

...

_Meanwhile, back in the Hangar..._

Neptune walked in, patting his sleeves to clean off the dust. He looked over at Sun, who was sitting on a tank that looked unfamiliar to him. In contrast to the Panzer and Tiger, it was far less bulky, with a green paint-job and a longer, narrower barrel.

"Hey. Where'd you nab that tank?" The boy inquired curiously. Sun laughed.

"Funny story. This Sherman? Apparently Professor _Faust_ had one of these." The monkey Faunus explained. "I just went around, asking if anyone knew where we could buy a bunch of cheap tanks and she just up and lent us two."  
"Where's the other one?" Neptune tilted his head. Sun pointed his thumb towards the other one, laughing even more.

Neptune's eyes followed his thumb, and his eyes widened.

It was a Maus, the biggest tank ever produced, if never in mass quantities due to its impractical nature. It sat in the garage, dwarfing all the other tanks they had, even the Edelweiss, in its khaki-and-green glory, with the Beacon insignia being hastily painted onto the side.

One-hundred eighty-eight tons, ten meters long and three meters wide, with a thirteen-inch PaK cannon as the main armament, protected by armour plates two hundred millimetres thick on the front, back and sides, and all powered by a twelve-hundred horsepower diesel engine.

And Professor Faust had held on to one of these things.

"...did you guys find out how she _got_ one of these?" Neptune approached it slowly, running his hand softly over the tank's hull, feeling the smooth, cold plates with a sense of awe.

"Apparently, she won it in a card game." Sun responded, shrugging. "Although what kind of a moron would be wagering something like this...

I mean, there was only two of these prototypes ever _made_, and a third made for Kuromorimine Girls' over in Japan, so how whoever gave it to Faust got one..."

Isara popped her head out of the tank. Her face was a veritable spring of joy, despite being caked on grease and oil.

"And it's in almost pristine condition!" The mechanic cried in surprise, wiping her forehead with a rag. "I mean, the systems, the gauges, the engine- all of it looks _perfect_!

Are you _sure_ this isn't somehow storebought? I mean, I know it's impossible, but look at it!"

Neptune shuddered.

"If those tanks used to be Faust's, I think we need to get an exorcist or something. Dust knows what she _did_ to those things..."

Nora stared at the Maus, before turning to Neptune, a pleading look on her face.

"_Pleaaaaase_ let me have the big one!" The berserker pleaded. "PLEASE!"  
"You're already assigned to the Tiger-"  
"Please! The big one is more awesome! I deserve it! I'm the queen of the castle!" Nora cried, puffing out her cheeks and pouting to make herself look cuter.

Neptune chuckled.

"Alright, alright. Fine. You can be the commander of this tank."  
She pumped her fist triumphantly. "Yesssss..."

Sun raised his finger. "Wait, Neptune. Which one am I taking?"  
"I'll go with you and Isara to take the Panzer IV. Blake, Norn and Minako will take the Tiger, Nora, Ren and Velvet will grab the Maus, which leaves Jaune, Winter and Pyrrha with the Sherman."  
"Ah." Sun nodded slowly. "I don't think we should let Winter and Pyrrha share a tank with Jaune."  
"Why's that?"  
"Jaune's Semblance."

"Oh." The blue-haired boy rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah. I never thought about that.

Fine. Pyrrha will go with you and Isara, I'll head with the Sherman.

Right, guys, let's wrap this up. Tomorrow, we're wheeling out to the Forest of Forever Fall to start our training exercises!"

* * *

_Early the next morning, in the Forest of Forever Fall..._

Blake sleepily blundered into the prescribed training area, looking around irritably at the tanks gathered in the clearing. She looked around for Neptune, who had pressganged her into this whole scenario.

The blue-haired boy was sitting upon the Sherman, speaking to Sun, who was looking into the treads of his own tank opposite. He looked as normal, only with a pair of earmuffs on his head and a pair of binoculars hanging from his neck on a thick black string. The boy looked over to Blake, waving at her.

"Morning, sunshine!" Neptune called cheerily. Blake glared at him angrily.

"Don't you _start_."

"My, my." Winter frowned as she climbed into her tank. In lieu of her normal dress or kimono, she wore instead a pair of tight jodhpurs and a white, fur-lined coat, prepared for the cold. "Miss Belladonna, perhaps you did not get enough sleep last night?"  
"No. Not that." The catgirl hissed. "Just a little dispute. No issues here."

Neptune shot her a look, as if to apologise, before looking over at the others gathering into their tanks.

"Attention, everyone! Welcome to the...err, _second _meeting of the Beacon Tankery Team!" The blue-haired boy announced.

"Effective today, we're training for the first ever battle our team has had with another school."  
Winter raised an eyebrow. "Another school? Mister Vasilias, do you mean to say that myself and Jaune are to be put into battle within a week of training?"  
"It's just a friendly match with Oarai Girls'. No big deal." Neptune laughed. "Although Isara and Sun nearly had my head for it..."  
Blake grumbled. "Alright...and are we going to get this over with?

I've got a whole lot of other things to do today, and I'd rather get this training out of the way now."  
Neptune sighed. He looked over his group.

'_Isara's obviously our best chance. Blake, too, given those two do this kinda thing all the time...Nora, Pyrrha and Velvet are pretty good at it, given they're rookies._

_But the others...they'll have to learn fast._

_I think they'll manage it.'_

"Alright!" Neptune called out. "Everyone get into your tanks. Blake, you're taking the Tiger."  
"Over here, Mistress Belladonna." Norn announced, still clad in her maid attire. Her face was still as emotionless as always as she gestured to the catgirl to join her.

"I swear to Dust, the next Ninjas of Love novels must be _worth_ betraying my beloved mecha..." Blake grumbled, before swallowing her pride and climbing into her tank.

...

It was pretty cramped inside there, obviously, with barely enough room for the three with them, even with Norn and Blake being relatively thin. Along the front was the driver's seat, the radio, various gauges and such.

Minako turned to them, waving.

"Gooood morning, ladies! You'll be driving with me toda-"

"Save it, Arisato. I'm not in the mood." Blake snapped irritably as she settled into the tank commander's seat, shifting to let Norn into the gunner's position. "Just turn around and get piloting."  
"Alright!" The girl turned around. "Sheesh, you woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning..."

The radio suddenly burst into life.

"Alright, attention everyone!" Neptune called out over the radio. "We'll be doing a little test fight this morning. Myself and Jaune will take one side, and Blake and Nora will take the other. The first side to take out the two others will win.

Everyone, get into position. Good luck, and panzer vor!"

"Yippee-ki-yay, Neptune." Blake remarked as she leaned back in her seat. "Yippee-ki-freaking-yay."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the climactic battle itself! How will Blake cope? How will everyone cope?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	73. Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!

**Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Damn, my exam period is ridiculously busy. And the questions are stupid. And the rest of my life weighs on this crap. So, nothing's changed except that now I'm far more irritated than usual.**

**Apologies for that, now let's get this tankfest out of the way!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Jaune would get a suit of armor to match his knight motif (that'll turn him into a true knight. Badass points for making it out of Grimm bone.)**

**Girls und Panzer belongs to Studio Actas.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective creators.**

* * *

"We're taking fire on the left side, Mistress Belladonna." Norn announced, reminding Blake of the current predicament they were in. Blake grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" The catgirl cried, climbing out to survey where the other tanks were with her binoculars. "I can see that!"

"Your sarcasm lacks a clear stimulus. I am unable to figure out if you are making an attempt at humour." Norn responded calmly.

Minako giggled, swerving around to avoid a blast she could hear coming. "She's a keeper, alright."

"I'm getting snarked at by a Persocom. Wonderful." Blake groaned as she poked her head out of the tank, looking to their right.

The Tiger was paving its way through a dirt path that cleaved through the woods. A trail of smoking craters followed behind them, where Minako had managed to swerve away from their opponent, the Panzer IV, which trailed behind another path, gaining on them quite quickly due to its lighter bulk. The catgirl cursed as the tank's turret aimed just in front of them, hoping to lead the target.

It didn't help, of course, that Sun, Isara- one being a skilled mechanic who'd familiarized himself with the tank's inner workings and the other being a bigger tank nerd than Neptune- and Pyrrha, who was of course skilled at basically everything, were the crew of the Panzer. It was basically only due to Minako's insane driving and Norn being a _very_ good shot with a tank turret that the Panzer hadn't taken them out yet.

"They're aiming in front of us." Blake noted. "Arisato, move backwards and see if we can't duke them out."  
"Roger!"  
"Norn, turn the turret to eight o'clock and fire on my command. We should nail 'em straight in the track."

The gynoid maid nodded, loading a shell into the barrel with one hand. "Understood, Mistress Belladonna.

I must warn you of the risks. Miss Gunther and Mister Wukong are highly skilled at manoeuvring and utilising tanks. There is a zero-point-zero-zero-two chance that this manoeuvre did not occur to them, and a zero-point-zero-zero-one chance Miss Nikos did not notice you watching them."

"You know how it goes, Norn." Blake gritted her teeth, following the Panzer's movement.

"Indeed. 'If it's higher than zero, it's as good as one-hundred-percent." Norn repeated. "You have said that upon multiple occasions. I have yet to understand what it truly means..."  
"It's like having Spock and Kamina trying to argue in the backseat..." Minako muttered. "Blake, how much longer until I reverse?"  
"Reverse...reverse now! Now!" Blake ordered, slinking back into the tank and sliding her binoculars away.

Minako grinned, before slamming her foot on the pedal, sending the tank into reverse. Blake stumbled slightly, landing with a grunt onto the commander's seat.

"Gah! Try not to hit the pedal so hard!"

"You said now, didn't you?"  
Blake grumbled as she rubbed her backside, reeling slightly from the impact. "Couldn't those two have installed some seat cushions in the seats before they sent this out-"

Suddenly, a strong impact slammed into the Tiger's side, shaking it violently and shaking Minako off the driver's seat. Norn barely budged, her typically emotionless expression still unchanged.

* * *

"Owie..." The brunette rubbed her side, checking to ensure her short sword wasn't harmed by the impact before clambering back onto the seat, trying to move the tank.

"...damn it. I think we're out."

The catgirl clenched her fist, before climbing out to survey the damage to the Tiger.

A large, black mark had been created on the side, smoking from the impact. A small white flag had sprung up on top of the turret, waving feebly in the wind.

Norn looked over to Blake. Minako swore that despite her expression having not changed, there was a hint of amusement on her serene face.

"My probability calculations were correct. You equipped me with a Spiral Computer. My processing ability parallels that of Project YAMA-"

"Norn!" Blake snapped harshly. The robot maid stopped herself.

"I duly apologise for that."

"Project YAMA...Yamato?" Minako raised an eyebrow. "What's that about?"  
"That is classified information. Only Mistress Belladonna and Miss Xiao Long are permitted access."

Blake clambered back into the tank, banging the side of the tank with a closed fist. "Damn it...we're screwed if we have to do a _real_ fight..."

"Good game." Pyrrha's voice burst into life on the radio, congratulating the Tiger team. "I applaud your performance.

Perhaps you should have not telegraphed it by making yourself visible and looking at our path."

"Yeah, I'm a moron." Blake sighed, frowning. "Why did you guys shove me into this again?"  
"If it makes you feel any better, it's your first time commanding a tank crew with rookies." Isara pointed out over the radio.

"Thanks, Gunther. I didn't want to do this tank thing to begin with!"

Norn sighed, grabbing a kettle. "I will prepare some tea for you, Mistress Belladonna. Miss Winter has recommended it as a calming agent."

"...fine, Norn. Alright." The catgirl sighed. "I need a freaking drink anyway."

* * *

_After the battle..._

The tanks had gathered in the clearing they had first met half an hour earlier. Neptune's team had won- after all, with the vast majority of the Tankery fans on the team, it was all but inevitable that they would win.

Neptune climbed out of his tank, clapping slowly.

"Excellent job, team." Neptune declared. "We're really going to knock the socks off of 'em."  
"Knock the socks off of 'em?" Minako blinked. "Who still says that?"

Winter merely giggled at the comment, covering her mouth to hide it ineffectually. "I applaud your enthusiasm, Mister Vasilias."

Blake groaned, clambering out of the Tiger. "That was unnecessarily rough, Neptune. You guys basically blasted our entire team to shreds!"  
Nora stuck her tongue out. "Nyeh, you guys are just bad~"

"The armour plating of the Maus is almost impenetrable by the simulation shells utilized under Sensha-do League rules." Norn pointed out. "Even with the necessary skill you claim we do not have, it would be improbable to break the plating within a reasonable amount of time."

"Probability nothing~"

Sun frowned at the damage to the Sherman, studying the tracks. "Yeesh. You didn't have to blast the tracks out, did you? These are pretty hard to install."  
Nora stuck her tongue out. "Nyaaaaah~"

Ren sighed, chuckling. "This is why you guys shouldn't have given her the big tank."

The catgirl groaned once more, wrenching herself off of her tank. "Well, if you people are done, I'm going to go get myself something to eat."

Neptune frowned, but allowed it.

"Drivers, get ready to drive your tanks back to the hangar. We'll meet again later this afternoon to discuss strategies."

Sun nodded at his friend to signal he understood. "Will do."

Frowning, he continued looking at the Sherman's track. "This is one big hit...hope we can _pay_ for a new track..."

He ignored the Maus flickering briefly behind him, flickering a vivid purple. On the side, a pentagram glowed with power, written in an incomprehensible tongue long forgotten by even the most unholy of scholars.

That was, save one.

* * *

_One week later, in Beacon Academy..._

During special occasions, such as the Cockerel Festival, Beacon had several playing fields to utilize for various sporting events, from tournaments to races to large fairs and festivals. One such field was the Ruined City, a war-torn city arena, filled with various destructible obstacles and places to hide behind for tanks of all kinds. It was fairly famous now for being the site of the fight between Ren and Ruby during the Cockerel Festival, where Ren's Lotus Palm had all but decimated one of the biggest buildings.

This was one such occasion.

The Ruined City's stands were currently filled with students from both Beacon and the visiting Oarai Girls High School, holding up signs to support their respective sides. Supposedly, the set-up of the visiting team was similar- a Tiger and a Panzer, with the Hetzer and a STuG III, venerable giants from Oarai's resurrection as a formidable Tankery school.

Neptune was standing in front of his four tanks, crossing his arms. He was grinning with anticipation, waiting for the signal to go.

"Alright, ladies and gents." The blue-haired boy called out. "It's time for us to show the masters of Tankery how we do it over in Vale. You guys ready?"  
Nora saluted enthusiastically. "Aye-aye, captain!"

"Present." Blake muttered irritably. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep that night, having been woken at nine- an ungodly hour to be awoken at, at any rate- and, of course, was not entirely on-board with the Tankery to begin with.

"Not sure we've done enough training..." Jaune raised his hand. "So, how are we going about this?"  
"Right. Blake's team, you will be referred to as Panther Team. Winter, you will be referred to as Swan Team.

Nora, you will be Chimera Team, and Pyrrha, you will be Badger Team."

"Nuh-uh!" The berserker crossed her arms, pouting. "I want to be Pancake Team!"

"...just roll with it." Ren shrugged. Neptune sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Alright, sure, you're Pancake Team. Whatever."

Velvet looked around the audience, disappointed. "I don't see Weiss-sempai. I was promised Weiss-sempai would watch this!"

"Relax," Blake commented. "She'll probably get press-ganged by Yang or something to watch it."

Indeed, the catgirl spied the brawler dragging the heiress into a vantage seat at the back of the stadium.

"I rest my case."  
"So, we know our plans, movements, and so forth!" Neptune slammed his fist into his open palm to emphasise his point. "Team Beacon, move out!

Dust, I've always wanted to say that."

* * *

Blake clambered into the Tiger, after letting Norn and Minako get into position first. She rolled her head around to stretch herself out, rubbing her eyes blearily.

"I shouldn't have let Neptune invoke that contract..." The catgirl muttered. "...still, nothing to be done now. I'm actually about to go fight these people with the most unmanly vehicle known to man.

Arisato, how are we on the instruments?"  
"Full tank of fuel, nothing looks out of shape...yeah, I think we're good." The driver turned to her, thumbs up.

"The gun is clean. We have the use of two smoke shells to provide us with a screen for concealment." Norn noted flatly. "I do not advise using them here, as the debris provides sufficient cover."

"Alright!" Neptune's voice crackled over the radio. "This is how we're going to do this.

Team Panther and Team Swan will head around the sides of the arena, going through alleys and backroads to flank the other team . Team Pancake, you'll plow straight through to the middle, creating a distraction. Their shells won't be able to pierce your plating, so you'll have an easy time of drawing fire.

My team will try to circle around and flank them from behind. When I give the signal, Teams Panther and Swan will clamp down from the sides, blow them to shreds, and win us the game.

With that in mind, good luck and let's give it a good show."

The radio crackled off. Blake frowned.

"So, I don't even get to go in there and blow them to shreds...this just keeps getting better and better." The catgirl complained. "Alright. I'll get this done and I won't ever have to climb into a tank again.

Let's do this. Team Panther, or whatever, let's get going."

Minako saluted. "Roger that!"

A cannon shot rang throughout the arena, signalling the beginning of the match.

"Team Beacon! ROLL OUT!" Neptune yelled over the radio.

Blake cracked her knuckles. Even if the idea of Tankery displeased her, she still took pleasure in its aim; to defeat one's enemies on the field of battle through skill and explosive weaponry.

"Alright. My pleasure."

With that, the Tiger roared into action, heading off to the right of the arena, heading off into a sideroad in the arena, with the Panzer heading off in the opposite direction. The Maus smashed into a barrier directly in front of it, reducing it to rubble with its massive size, while the Sherman followed behind, swerving off to a side road after a certain distance.

The arena was filled with the rumbling of tank engines, and the atmosphere tense, as neither side had sight of the other yet through the debris, smoke and buildings.

Little did either side know, it was about to get far more interesting.

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Had to cut it short; I have a lot less time due to revision schedules, but I should be able to clinch it next time. And just what IS wrong with that Maus?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	74. Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 3!

**Neptune Reacts to Tankery, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, time for some shameless self-promotion about a story you will probably never read! I've started a new RWBY fanfic called ****The Knight's Absolute Choice****, about a **_**very**_** unfortunate Jaune with the curse of Sadistic Choices, which you can go read all about over in that story! Maaaan I suck at summaries, and not in the bad writer way- not that I'm not a bad writer. :P  
**

**Now, let's wrap up the Tankery arc! And this is the reason why you don't borrow tanks from Gretchen freaking Faust. Or why you exorcise anything she lends you. ANYTHING.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Winter would be the best ojou ever.**

**Girls und Panzer belongs to Studio Actas.**

**All mentioned franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Nora whooped for joy, yelling her joy out into the smoky air, as she climbed out to look about the grey, ruined buildings that surrounded them for any sign of the enemy.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The berserker pumped her fist. "PANZER VOR! PAAAAANZER VOR!"

Ren looked up from the driver's seat, sighing. "Nora, remember, we're trying to keep a low profile, even if we happen to be in one of the biggest production tanks ever.

Do we have eyes on the enemy?"

"Nope!" Nora responded cheerfully. "Our future victims are nowhere in sight!"

Velvet rifled through the shells at their disposal, looking at the shells marked 'GUNTHER'- the smoke shells they were just barely permitted to use.

"Shall I get a smokescreen out to lure them over here?" Velvet turned to Ren. "We can set up an ambush on the other end and hit out one of them. I think I heard the Hetzer nearby."  
"Hetzer..." Ren rubbed his chin, thinking carefully as he grabbed the radio and switched it on.

"Pyrrha, do you have eyes on Oarai?"

"Nothing." The spearmaiden calmly responded. "We do not have sight on the enemy team, but we have heard shots nearby.

Neptune, do you copy?"

"I hear you. Pyrrha, do you have your bearings?"  
"We are directly east of the middle square, between a pair of fallen buildings. I think I can see their Tiger in the distance." Pyrrha dictated serenely. "The Tiger is within firing range. Should we engage?"  
"No, I can see their Hetzer on your flank. If you fire, you will be noticed."  
"Noted. Retreating." Pyrrha turned her radio off just as the sound of tracks moving were heard from her feed. Neptune's attention was turned to Ren's group.

"What about you guys? Do you see anything?"

Velvet chimed in. "I think I heard the Hetzer nearby, so we may possibly be right next to them. Judging from your claim, I think you're next to them. Nora, could you check?"  
"Aye!" Nora saluted her proudly and climbed back out, popping her binoculars on and looking around.

A short distance away, Beacon's Sherman tank was slowly trawling along the debris-covered road, its turret turning towards the Maus.

"Their cannon's turned toward us!"  
Ren grabbed the radio. "Neptune, do not fire! That's us!"

"Crap!"

Suddenly, Neptune's head popped out from the tank, looking to confirm the Maus' identity. His eyes were wide in shock as he ducked quickly back in, with Nora following suit.

"A-alright. Roger that, you've been confirmed." The boy sounded slightly shaken. "That was close.

Alright, so Pyrrha's east of us, and Oarai's Hetzer and Tiger are to the northeast. Pancake Team, you are to head to the end of the square and fire off a smokescreen to lure them over here.

Badger Team, do you read?"  
"We read." Pyrrha called over. "Swan Team, are you ready to move into position?"  
"Pancake Team and Swan Team ready." Winter chimed in from Neptune's end. "Miss Gunther, are you sure your shells will hold?"  
"Well, they worked the last time we used them..." Isara reminded her, thinking back to the inauguration battle the Tankery Club had done months ago. "I don't think anything should go wrong."  
Neptune sighed in relief. "If we can take out two of their tanks, we can surround the last two and win the game.

Wait, wait. Where's Panther Team?"  
"Haven't seen them." Velvet called, before turning to Nora. "Did you see Blake's tank?"  
"Nuh-uh. She hasn't shown up in a while."

Ren grumbled. "Knowing her, she probably drove the thing off the arena. She hates tanks..."

"No, that would be unmanly, according to her logic." Winter pointed out. "She is most likely moving into position to ambush a tank we cannot see."  
Ren rubbed his temples. "So grab her on the radio and get her position! We could pull off an ambush now if she's next to them."  
"Last I heard, she's on the other side of the arena." Neptune pointed out, sighing. "Trying to get to her, we might get attacked ourselves, as there's a ton of places to hide between the square and that side.

For now, just proceed with the plan. We should be able to ambush the Hetzer or the Tiger, and then we'll just have to deal with the other three easily the same way.

Badger Team, Pancake Team, get into position. Neptune, out." His channel faded into static again.

"Roger that, Badger Team moving into position."

Pyrrha's channel also fizzled off. Ren shut off the radio, turning to Nora.

"Right, Nora, keep your eye out for any tanks that aren't ours. Velvet-"

The bunnygirl was already loading the smoke shell with one hand. "Already on it?"

"Pipipi?" Vivi, who had been sleeping on the ammunition storage, blinked awake, tilting her head at Velvet.

"Yes, we're going to fight! And then Weiss-sempai will...see us!" Velvet declared, blushing and clutching her cheek. "...we have to do our best! Then Weiss-sempai will love me!"  
"Pipipi..." Vivi rubbed her temple, shaking her head. "Pipipipi."

She hopped over to the magazine, helping push the shell in and shut the magazine closed. Ren calmly drove to an opening to an alley, waiting for the word from Neptune to proceed.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Blake drummed her fingers over the top of the turret, binoculars in hand, rather impatiently waiting for the first fight she could throw herself into.

"Come on, come on..." The catgirl muttered. "Give me something to work with!"

Norn raised a finger. "Have you considered the probability of an enemy tank-"  
"Appearing here is likely zero, yes, I know." Blake banged her fist onto the turret. "But I just want to blow something up already! I don't need you to tell me that again!"

"I...see." Norn nodded, her expression unchanged. However, Minako and Blake both heard a slightly wounded tone in her voice as she returned to silence.

Blake frowned, sighing to herself.

'_Belladonna, you're an idiot. I guess I went a little too far...'_

She climbed back down into the tank, tapping Norn on the shoulder.

"...look, Norn. I'm sorry I'm yelling at you, okay?" The catgirl stated apologetically. "I'm just...irritated. I know I shouldn't be, and I'm sorry."

"An apology is not required." The robot maid responded calmly, raising her hand to signal peace. "I understand you are not entirely enthused with Tankery.

I am...however...appreciative of the effort." Norn nodded curtly at her, and Blake swore she was smiling, if it wasn't for the fact that, as usual, her face was completely devoid of emotion. "But we must not spend too long on lingering on misunderstandings-"  
Suddenly, the radio burst into life, causing Minako to almost jump out of her seat. "G-gyah! What the-!"

"The hell?!" Blake cried as she leaned towards the radio, listening in.

"...Hetzer on your flank. If you fire, you will be noticed." Neptune's voice filtered, filled with the usual crackling and static, over the speaker. Blake pressed her ear closely to it, listening in.

"What's going on?" Minako tried to contact them, but they didn't seem to hear her. She flicked her own radio, before realising that for some reason, it wasn't working.

"Damn it, they can't hear us." The girl declared, but Blake shushed her, glaring at her briefly.

"Shush! I'm trying to listen in!"

"Pancake Team, you are to move into the end of the square and fire off a smokescreen to lure them over here. Badger Team, do you read?"

Blake grumbled, clenching her fist tightly. "So...they're having fun without us, huh?"

She climbed up to look around outside the Tiger, still seeing nothing but the old, abandoned buildings and debris. The catgirl closed her eyes, climbing back down.

"Minako, set full course for the square. We're going in guns blazing!" Blake declared hotly. "We aren't being left out of the fun!"

Norn checked the magazine briefly. "Our colleagues are planning an ambush. Our interference in their plan may be undesirable-"  
"Yeah, but I'm getting bored here! Look, Norn, I'm not yelling, but we're not exactly doing anything on this side. Chances are, two things will happen.

We're about five minutes away from the square, so the likelihood is that either the ambush goes well, and we'll just be helping mop up the remains, or it goes horribly, and we'll at least be able to take out one or two guys before we get crushed by Oarai.

Isn't that a better plan than hiding out here?"  
Minako shrugged. "Blake's got a point. Better we try to do something. I'll get on getting us there quickly."

"Alright." Blake rubbed her hands in anticipation, settling back into the commander's position.

She grinned for the first time in a week.

"This is going to be _fun_."

* * *

_At the square..._

Velvet waited patiently to fire, lining up the turret with the entrance to the square.

The Maus was poised directly around the corner, ready to fire at the slightest movement, the turret aimed just in front of the road leading to the square to catch the tracks. The hulking vehicle was stock still and the engine off to mask any sound coming from it, in order to increase the element of surprise. Opposite, Swan Team's Sherman was in place, ready to fire to finish off the other tank.

Meanwhile, Badger Team's Panzer was circling around, waiting to ambush the inevitable backup tank itself.

It was going well- too well, as the savvy would say.

"I can hear the tracks getting closer..." Nora whispered- if one could call it that, for she was all but yelling, an amazing feat for someone attempting to lower their voice as much as physically possible.

"...can we fire soon? Please tell me we can blow them up now. Please?"  
"That's not a whisper." Ren hissed. Nora pouted, crossing her arms.

"I can't control my voice, for my voice is that of a mighty sloth that cannot easily be hidden!" The berserker declared proudly. "Feaaaaar me!"

"Nora, we won't be able to blow them up like you want to if you do that." Ren pointed out teasingly, wagging his finger.

Nora immediately shut up.

Velvet's hands shivered as she waited for the order to fire. Vivi clung to her shoulder, tilting her head.

"Pipipipi?"  
"Yes, just a bit more...and we'll win and we'll impress Weiss-sempai!" The bunnygirl whispered. "Just a little more..."

The sound of engines drew closer to the entrance. Velvet tensed, ready to fire.

"Come on, come on..."

Nora slowly poked her head out of the tank to see the Oarai Girls' Hetzer- imprinted with the green turtle representing Turtle Team and the Oarai Girls symbol- wheeling towards the entrance, with a brown-haired girl in Oarai uniform looking out of the turret, before sinking back into the tank, shutting it over her head.

Nora sunk into her tank, looking to Velvet. "Get ready to fire! This is going to be _fun_..."

'_Excellent...'_ Velvet giggled insanely. _'We can prove ourselves to Weiss-sempaaaaai!'_

The Hetzer pulled in front of them, with nobody poking their head out of the tank.

Velvet pulled on the lever and-

"It's not firing...why isn't it firing?!" Velvet pulled on it again, without much effect. "...come on, fire!"

Nora stared at her. "W-what do you mean it didn't fire?!"

"I-It's not firing!"

Ren tried to turn on the engine to back out of the fight, but to no avail. The ignition seemed to be dead too.

"What's going on? This thing was just working two minutes ago!" The gunslinger smacked the dashboard. "Come on, work!"  
Nora looked confused. "What the...we need to get Neptune on this!"

She grabbed the radio to try to call their leader, but the radio seemed to be dead. Not even the familiar, irritating static came out, signalling they could at least launch communications with anyone else, but absolutely, positively silent.

Nora stared at Ren, horrified. "Renny...what's going on...t-this is...scary..."

"I don't understand it either..." The gunslinger quickly flicked the key in and out, but it did nothing. The dashboard flickered briefly, as if it were taunting them.

Suddenly, the sound of a tank's gun was heard, right in front of them, followed by the sound of metal crackling and denting. The smell of smoke filled the air, and all of them froze, shocked.

"D-don't tell me..." Nora looked worried.

_The Beacon Team's Sherman has been taken out by the Turtle Team's Hetzer!_

"...damn it!" Ren smacked the dashboard. "Turn on, turn on!"

Suddenly, a mischievous laugh filled their ears. The laugh seemed to be almost impish, echoing throughout the innards of the Maus.

The dashboard suddenly sparked, with smoke streaming from the gauges. Ren jumped, blinking in surprise.

"I don't understand what exactly is going on h-"

An impact shook the Maus, almost knocking Velvet off her seat. Vivi hung on to her shoulder for dear life.

"Pipipipi!"  
"D-did we get taken out?!" Nora cried. "D-did we?!"

"No, the announcement would've triggered already. The armour' s pretty thick. It'll take a little more than that to-"  
Another shot shook the Maus again, rocking it hard. Velvet looked down.

"G-guys, what do we do?! Our tank isn't working, we don't have a radio and I can't seem to fire back!"

Ren closed his eyes. "We're doomed, unless something budge-"

One last shot rocked the Maus, and the white flag popped up from the top of the turret.

_Turtle Team's Hetzel has taken out Beacon's Maus!_

* * *

Pyrrha's eyes widened as two tanks on her team had been taken out. She sank back into her tank, looking shocked.

"What were those two doing?! They were literally just sitting ducks!" Isara cried.

"Move up to the Hetzer and fire at them! If we can grab Blake's team and get together, then we may be able to win this fight.

Sun, move out! Quickly!"

"On it!" The monkey Faunus turned on the ignition and drove the Panzer around, turning towards the square.

The Panzer drove straight through a fallen concrete column, smashing it to dust with ease, as it travelled straight over it.

Pyrrha poked her head out of the turret, looking around to see the Hetzer driving off, leaving the beaten Sherman and Maus in pieces, with Ren and Neptune's teams walking off the arena.

"...how did they beat the Maus?" Pyrrha stared, blinking, before ducking back in.

Sun stared at her. "Wait, wait. They took out a Maus? I'm pretty sure that even a dedicated tank destroyer like the Hetzer couldn't touch the Maus, not unless it was a sitting duck."  
Isara raised a finger. "...a sitting duck, you say? That would be-"

The Panzer's engine suddenly switched off. Pyrrha looked to her driver.

"What's going on? Why are we stopping? We're nowhere near the Hetzer!"  
"I-I didn't stop it!" Isara cried. "That's not-"  
Realisation dawned upon her face. "...oh."

"Oh?" Sun looked confused. "What's 'oh' mean?"

"...a gremlin. A spirit of some kind, that loves hanging around complicated mechanisms." The mechanic explained. "Gremlins interfere with the working of vehicles and technology for fun, and tend to hide in the inner workings of vehicles.

...and if these were Professor Faust's..."

"I think we should've taken that whole spiel about exorcism seriously..." Sun muttered. "So the tanks are haunted?"  
"ONE tank was haunted, but the gremlin must've gotten bored...or it stopped working..." The mechanic explained, somewhat shivering. "If a gremlin's loose here...the only way to banish it is to exorcise it, kill it or scare it into running-"

A shot rippled into the side of the Panzer, shaking the occupants.

_Oh my, a triple streak! The Turtle's Hetzer has taken out Beacon's Panzer as well!_

"...it's just Blake left." Pyrrha sighed. "...we're doomed."

...

The Tiger wheeled into a scene of destruction.

Blake surveyed the three other tanks of her team, all smoking with the white flags signalling their defeat propped up.

"...how did all of them fall to an ambush?" The catgirl scratched her head. "What in the name of-

HETZER DEAD AHEAD! NORN!"

The Hetzer was heading straight for them, ready to obliterate the fourth tank in a row it had fought.

Norn quickly loaded ammunition into the magazine and, with the appropriate efficiency of a machine, fired the gun with a swift motion.

The Hetzer's crew didn't see it coming.

It stopped in the middle of the road, smoking, with the white flag popping up to signal defeat.

_Finally, a victory for Beacon! Beacon's Tiger has defeated the Hetzer!_

"...what is going on here?" Blake scratched her head, turning to her left.

A Panzer was heading down towards them, with the Oarai markings and a stylized Anglerfish mark in place of the Beacon coat of arms.

"Norn, aim due west! Fire quickly!"  
"Understood."

The robot maid swiftly reloaded the tank, much faster than even two humans with an autoloader could.

All the upgrades Blake had provided her to fight in the Cockerel Festival had served well.

Norn fired quickly. The first shot took out the Panzer's track, stopping it from moving. It skidded to a stop several metres away from the Tiger, the turret turning to aim at the Tiger's tracks.

"Adjust! Fifty-seven degrees up!"

"Understood."

The turret moved up, and Norn fired again.

This time, her shot was true, hitting the tank full on the body, taking it out instantly. The white flag popped up, signalling its defeat.

_Oh my, Beacon's Panther Team seems to be doing incredibly well! They've taken out Anglerfish Team's Panzer!_

"Just the StUG and their Tiger left..." Minako wiped her brow in relief, driving slightly forwards and turning to avoid the two tanks left charred in front of them, along with the trains of high school students walking out of the arena.

Blake searched for another opponent, looking around to see an absolutely ostentatious red-painted tank wheeling towards them, with flags hooked on bamboo sticks behind it.

The catgirl stared at it in disbelief.

"Are you..." She shook his head.

"Norn, due 179 degrees. Fire once."

"...understood."

Once again, the shot was on target. The STuG barely got anywhere near the Tiger before stopping, smoking with the white flag popped up in defeat.

_Beacon seems to be catching up! Panther Team's Tiger has taken out Hippo Team's STuG!_

* * *

Minako whistled. "You...really are a good shot."  
"I have a firing calculator installed as part of my programs. It is primitive in comparison to a true firing computer, but it, as humans say, does the job."

Blake pumped her fists. "Yeah! We're going to win this! Just keep searching for the last tank!"

Of course, it didn't take too long to find- after all, it was searching for them too.

The Tiger rounded upon them, drawing nearer to finish the fight quickly.

Norn prepared to fire. "Do not worry. I can detect the-"

Suddenly, the tank's engines locked up, shutting off. Norn froze up, twitching as she picked up ammunition.

"B-Blake..." The robot maid squeezed out, her voice glitching out and filling with static. "...I-I seem to be...experiencing an...error-"

Norn collapsed onto the floor of the tank, her eyes shutting. Blake's eyes widened.

"What the! Norn! NORN!" She knelt next to the robot, shaking her and checking her ports. She was unresponsive.

"...Norn...what the hell?!"

Minako smacked her dashboard. "Damn it! The tank's turned off! What's going on-"

A demonic laugh filled the tank, as the dashboard started smoking, echoing throughout the tank and almost taunting Blake.

Of course, with her daughter having been shut down and her tank shut down by something, the catgirl was in no mood to be taunted. Her hand clenched into a fist as she glared at the dashboard.

"Alright, I know what the hell you are! You're a gremlin, aren't you? You probably haunted our tanks because Faust sealed you into it! Well, guess what, I am NOT in the mood to take your crap today!

Listen up, mister! Open those dusty ears of yours and listen up! I am the GREAT AND MIGHTY Blake Belladonna! Manliest catgirl this side of the multiverse and leader of Team Antic!

And I am NOT going to be beaten by a gremlin! And if you think you will get away with hurting my _daughter_ here, I will personally break that screwed illusion of yours!

I WILL DRAG YOUR SPECTRAL BACKSIDE OUT FROM WHEREVER YOU'RE HIDING AND BEAT YOU DOWN!"

The laughing stopped, along with the smoking. Minako stared at Blake, shocked.

"...you...you're pretty pissed."  
"I have not had a good week." Blake sighed irritably as she put the unconscious Norn into the command seat with some difficulty.

"Try to turn on the tank again. I'll try to fire, now that the gremlin's gone." The catgirl climbed determinedly into the gunner seat, taking aim at the Tiger.

"Alright...let's see if I can fire this thing. I have one shot..."

Blake closed her eyes, squeezing off the last shot she could.

_Kaboom._

A boom and a thud, and Blake knew she had made her mark.

_A victory for Beacon Academy! The Tiger has been defeated! Congratulations!_

Blake sighed in relief, pressing herself against the magazine.

"...alright, it's over now..." The catgirl breathed heavily. "It's done, it's done.

We won, and I never have to do this thing ever _again_."

Blake looked down at Norn with concern, shaking her head.

"...I'll just have to check on you later, Norn.

You need a tune-up anyway. And...dare I say it, a big hug, too

A manly hug. Not a cute hug. Cute hugs are for moeblobs."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: So, now that that whole thing's over...next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Weiss Reacts! We're covering everything we can now!**

**Also, as I said earlier in the chapter, check out my new fic, ****The Knight's Absolute Choice- ****it's good for a laugh at how absolutely horrible it is.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	75. Weiss Reacts: The Recappening, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Recaps: The Recappening!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, this thing is still somehow alive after nearly two years! And to celebrate that...well, I've been riffing on just about everything (Remnant's Reclaimer, Tankery, Persona) under the sun, it's time to riff on myself since you guys haven't done enough riffing! With that in mind, let's cover the one thing we have yet to riff in a while before I let my ego inflate itself again!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise even canon would riff on Weiss Reacts.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"I'm bored." Weiss complained, lying back in her bed, reading a book. "Nothing interesting's happened in a long while."  
"What about that Tankery match yesterday?" Yang pointed out. "That was pretty-"  
"Meh. Same thing, Blake somehow pulls a victory from nothing, as she always does." The heiress shrugged. "Not really anything new."  
Yang sighed, admitting defeat. "Yeah. It's been pretty boring around Beacon. I mean, there's not enough people to troll anymore.

The most interesting thing I've done all week apart from that Tankery match was trying to find Taiga already so I can complete my cameo collection."  
"Cameo collection?" Weiss twitched.

Yang took out a case with various memorabilia and assorted objects, presenting it to the heiress. "I collect an object every time someone shows up in our story randomly as a cameo.

All I need now is something from Taiga and Squid Girl and I'll have everything!"

"...wait, what about Mina-" Blake raised her finger, but Yang glared at her.

"Never mention that chapter again. For all intents and purposes, volume one, chapter fifteen never happened! NEVER!" The brawler declared. "NEEEEVEEEER!"

"Well, good to know you're as insane as always." The heiress remarked irritably before laying her head back onto her pillow, covering her head with her hand. "Can we do _something interesting at least?!_"  
"...we could always check on Weiss Reacts." Yang pointed out, causing Weiss to glare at her angrily.

"...that blasphemous, lying, antic-filled piece of heretic dreck?! I refuse to read that thing ever again! EVER!"

Blake frowned. "It's not exactly blasphemous if that's exactly what happens to you in life."  
"STILL! That fool of an author makes me look like a complete and utter tool whose lot in life is to suffer at the hands of this yellow beast," Weiss remarked, pointing at Yang. "And to act like one of those blasted tsunderes Velvet seems to have a fetish for!"

The brawler shrugged. "What can I say? It's fun to make you suffer. You're too easy to embarrass, Weiss."  
Ruby looked out of the window, noticing the storm clouds gathering nearby. "...hum. It seems we're stuck in here, so...err...anyone up for playing Munchkin?"  
Weiss crossed her arms. "I would rather let Velvet rub her face into my chest like a pervert than let Yang lord it over me that she _cheats_ at that game!"

"The box art _does _say 'stab your buddy'." Yang pointed out casually. "...buuuut, if you insist, it's either playing Munchkin or reading Weiss Reacts."  
"That's not even a _choice_." Weiss grumbled. "You might as well be offering to let me be run over by a herd of buffalo or a herd of yaks..."

Blake shrugged. "Pick your poison. I've been meaning to look at that fic for a long time anyway. I was wondering how it was doing to begin with. So, munchies?"  
"I'll grab them!" Ruby offered enthusiastically. "I never grab the munchies!"

"You always grab cookies though." Yang frowned. "Only if you promise to grab me a meat bun or three."  
"I want tuna sandwiches!" Blake requested.

"...fine, since you people seem to be hell-bent on forcing me to read that dreck, I'll read it." Weiss conceded, knowing she was fully outnumbered in not wanting to watch the madness. "Ruby, if you please, get me a vanilla sorbet. I'll pay you back later."  
"Alright, no problem!" Ruby smiled. "Sure! Fanfic marathon time!"

'_How I get dragged into these things, I have no idea,' _Weiss mused, lying back in bed and shutting her book. _'I seriously never know.'_

* * *

"Oh, Christmas!" Yang snapped her fingers as team RWBY settled into their usual positions in front of Weiss' computer; Weiss on her desk chair, Yang settled onto a beanbag, Blake in a comfy armchair and Ruby, appearing to be almost sucked into a cookie-shaped beanbag. "I remember this!"

Ruby blushed, somewhat embarrassed. "I can't believe I walked outside in my pajamas..."  
"My father would do the same thing." Weiss commented, facepalming. "So you hardly embarrassed yourself to him."

Yang flinched slightly at the mention of Siegmund. "...jeez. Siegmund really does get himself involved in a lot of crap..."  
"This was fun, setting this up." Blake whistled. "It really was."  
"...y-you guys didn't have to do this for me..." Weiss muttered, blushing slightly. "...I-I even said you didn't."  
Yang scoffed dismissively. "As if! You needed it! You barely ever celebrated Christmas as it was thanks to your ass of a grandfather!

Besides, it was worth the look on your face! And the absolute chunk that spa treatment took out of my monthly savings..." Yang groaned, remembering how her eyes had nearly bulged from her head when she found out how expensive the spa she'd booked an appointment at was.

Weiss nodded slowly in realisation. "So THAT's how Minako got banned from that store.

Sometimes, I can't even tell if she's pretending to be in love with Jaune or that his blasted Semblance is doing it all..."  
"I still need to look at that Semblance." Blake muttered. "There's something that rubs me wrong about it..."

Weiss inhaled briefly. "I still can't believe you guys went to all that trouble just to give me a Christmas party.

Granted, you nearly blew up the school trying to, but...err, points for effort?"  
"No attempt to hold a party is ever complete without nearly blowing up the school!" Yang held up her thumbs, grinning. "And damn if prom's going out without at least one explosive!"

"Good Dust, prom." Weiss groaned, remembering that that had yet to be celebrated. "If the Beacon Dance was anything to go by, you are going to do _far_ more than blow up the school."

"In fairness, I didn't march a freaking TANTOR into the hall!" Blake cried. "That was Nora!"  
"You still crashed a mecha into it, you've got no room to talk." The heiress remarked. "Let's keep reading this.

By the way...I know I've said this many times, but I'm grateful for the Christmas party. Thank you."

The brawler gasped. "D-did Weiss Schnee just say _thank you_?!"

"S-shut up, you dolt!" The heiress snapped. "D-don't ruin the moment, you idiot! I was _thanking_ you for something you did!

G-gah, just read the stupid dreck...moron."

Ruby giggled. "I knew it wouldn't last..."

...

Weiss shuddered at the mention of one of the darker fics they'd ever read.

"Blood Rose. Of course, the writer somehow figured out we read Blood Rose." The heiress seethed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Yang choked slightly. "Y-yeah, that fic was...kinda gory."

"Well, did you expect anything else from a fic called _Blood_ Rose?" Blake reminded them, shrugging. "It's not like anything else was going to happen.

You guys are a bunch of lightweights..."

"Well, no duh! We're not like you, we're not exactly capable of not being horrified at the thought of the girl we love having a _gore fetish_!" Weiss snapped irritably. "Seriously!"

Blake shrugged, dismissing the comment with a wave of her hand. "You're still lightweights."

Yang giggled. "I still can't believe Weiss got _jealous_ over that doe Faunus..."  
"I was NOT jealous!" The heiress cried, blushing. "I was merely concerned that it was an unhealthy thing for her to be doing something like _that_ with a girl she just met!

Oh, and Blake, you owe me sixty Lien, Alys lived." Weiss put out her hand to receive the money.

The catgirl's ears perked up in surprise, before she sighed, digging out the money from her pocket and pressing the cards into Weiss' outstretched hand.

"There. Take the money." Blake grumbled. "I was hoping you forgot all about that."  
"When I actually win something for once, I'm not going to simply just let it go. Case in point, when I beat Yang at Mafia!" Weiss cheered, staring at Yang. "Yes, I beat you! I actually beat the supposedly-"Y-you don't have to rub it in!" The brawler cried. "Sheesh, it's just a g-game."  
"Don't go tsundere on me, Xiao Long! You always go on about how it's my shtick!"  
"DAMMIT!" Yang put her face in her hands. "I just shamed myself t-to Weiss. _Weiss_.

It's official. My sexiness gets stolen by Winter and then my awesomeness...what kind of world is this?!"

"One where karma favours the sane for once!" Weiss cheered triumphantly. "YES!"

Blake rubbed her temples. "Oh, dear Dust, don't remind me about the netorare vibes, please don't..."

"I still don't know what that means." Ruby pointed out. Blake shook her head.

"Good. You're too innocent to know. And nobody look this up, your life will be better without it."

Weiss glared at her. "You know, I never know who you're talking to when you say that."  
"Does it matter?" The catgirl inquired. "And really, Ruby? I still don't like your sister!"  
"You can hide it all you want, Blakey, but you and I both know you want the booty~" Yang winked at her mischievously.

Blake merely blushed, staring somewhere that wasn't Yang.

"...hmph. N-not everyone falls for your sexiness anymore." She muttered under her breath, rubbing her arm.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "And you're also being tsundere? You people call me on that all the time but you people are _worse_ about it."  
"You're the designated tsundere." Yang shrugged. "It's kinda your schtick."  
"Yeah, yeah, just read the fic. I'm curious to know what JNPR was doing when they were watching that accursed Madoka anime..." The heiress muttered.

"Shame on you for showing us that, Yang."  
"I live to be an eternal embarrassment to killjoys~"

* * *

Yang giggled at the mention of shipping Pyrrha with Jaune. "Well, that's not going to be the pairing soon enough if that many people want Winter and Jaune together..."  
"Don't even _start_ mentioning my sister and that dolt in the same sentence! I-I refuse to believe she'd even think about falling in love with him!" Weiss complained.

Ruby stared at the screen, reading about team JNPR's reactions to Madoka Magica. "Oh, I feel so sorry for them! I can't believe you put them through that, Yang!"  
"It made for good viewing." Yang shrugged, waving a CD in her hand. "I had it recorded."  
"Of _course_ you recorded their responses to that anime. Why am I surprised?" Weiss facepalmed, grumbling. "I don't know why I expected anything different-

And of course, _of course_ Nora wants to give Mami a twenty-one gun salute! With a _grenade launcher._" The heiress facepalmed. "Idiot, does she know how destructive that would be?"

Yang nodded in approval. "At least Pyrrha was savvy enough to expect it.

I was kinda disappointed Madoka did no badass stuff until the last couple of the episodes ,though."  
"Don't get me started on the movie..." Blake shuddered.

"I'm pretty sad I missed the Kyoko cameo though." The brawler slammed her fist onto the desk. "Seriously?! I freaking LOVE Kyoko!"

...

Weiss cringed. "Don't even get me started. You rigged that game of Fire Emblem, didn't you?"  
"Nah. You just suck." Yang shrugged. "What did you expect was going to happen, you instantly became good at it?

You overused Frederick."  
"They shouldn't have left me a promoted unit just _sitting_ there asking to be used!" The heiress protested. "Seriously!

And where was Lucina the whole time! That moron should've helped the Shepherds instead of going off and being mysterious!"  
"I'm sure the real one regrets that, somewhere in the multiverse." Blake admitted.

"And what's this about...dimension-BLAKE." Weiss glared at the catgirl. "What did you _do_?"  
"Nothing~" The catgirl whistled innocently. "Absolutely nothing. I totally did not do anything at all!"  
Yang giggled.

"Oh, Blake, you sneaky person. I can't believe you did that~"  
"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about."

Ruby rubbed her chin. "...you know, I really need to start saving up for _if_. I think it's going to be a good game..."  
"Yeah. Remind me to get it when it comes out." The brawler nodded in assent. "Alright, next chapter!"

...

"NOT THIS PERVERTED FIC." Weiss snapped, blushing profusely. "NO. NO!"

Yang stared at her. "What's wrong? It's just a lemon between you and Ruby. Sheesh.

It's not like you two aren't going to be doing that in two years time. And it _better_ be two years time." Yang glared at Weiss.

"If you do it with my sister here, I don't care how in love you two are, I will _end _you."  
"Don't you dare go all _protective sister_ on me. You've all but _tried_ to get us two to do something indecent!" Weiss snapped. Yang held the glare for a couple of seconds, before collapsing into laughter.

"Ppffhh-yeah, you're right. Still!"  
Ruby blushed, twiddling her fingers. "U-um..."  
"This fic was hilarious, though. Weiss trying to get some self-help by making herself a bucket list..." The brawler snorted. "Please. I think our one might need it-"

The heiress folded her arms, huffing angrily. "I am _only_ so stressed because I have to put up with your antics, you dunces!"

* * *

"And of course, we come to the part where Weiss fails epically at playing Super Smash Bros." Yang declared. "As if she couldn't suck any worse at playing video games."  
"I was _new_ to playing that stupid game, and that 'Lucina' person was playing cheaply!" Weiss cried defensively. "Don't you dare call me terrible because of those idiots!"  
Ruby raised a finger. "You _did_ kinda fail against AI-"  
"Ruby! Whose side are you on?!"

Blake shrugged. "It's just a fact of life. Yang's a pervert, I'm manly, you suck at video games, and Ruby's the adorable background character."  
"You think I'm adorable?" The reaper gasped in surprise.

"If it wasn't for that Chiaki girl, I would be unbeatable at Team Fortress and you KNOW IT." The heiress seethed at Yang, who started giggling.

"Yeah."

'_Aaaaaand, of course, she doesn't figure out Nanami's an AI.'_ The brawler thought, giggling to herself. _'I'd probably be spitroasted or something if she found out...'_

_..._

Blake folded her arms, sighing.

"Isara joined the Tankery club." The catgirl noted. "What a waste of talent."  
"You really hate Tankery, don't you?" Weiss inquired.

"Hate it? It's a blasphemy to mecha! A _blasphemous sport_! It's just a crappy cannon on wheels with armour! A mecha could easily beat it!"

Yang smirked. "And yet you got owned with a smoke shell and a sixty-year-old tank model in the Gurren Lagann."  
"D-don't you dare talk about that! That was unfair and you know it!" The catgirl snapped. "Such unmanly use of smokescreens should never have been tolerated!"

"At least Nora had fun." Ruby shrugged. "Then again, she always has fun when things explode."

Weiss rubbed her temples. "Yes, Ruby, don't remind me...it's a headache dealing with Valkyrie's obsession with sloths, pancakes and explosives..."

...

Ruby snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah! I need to finish Omega Ruby, don't I?"  
"That game's too easy!" Weiss snapped. "You got everything handed to you on a silver platter!"

"No, Weiss, you just sucked at Platinum." Yang shrugged. "We already established this."

"Stupid Exp. Share and stupid crits..." The heiress muttered irritably. "And I should've gotten a Quagsire or something if Marshstomp is that stupidly powerful!"

"You'd still suck." Blake reminded her. "You'd just suck with a strong Pokémon."  
"I SWEAR TO DUST BLAKE"

...

Yang pouted. "Oh come on! Really, this gets displayed?"  
"Now it's your turn to be embarrassed!" Weiss snapped. "Finally! The heavens have looked down mercifully upon me!

And are you so bad at cooking that you had to summon the god of cooking to help you out?"  
"L-Leave me alone! Sheesh!"

"Oh, and of course Elsa's going to act like Nagato." Blake snickered. "Well...it makes sense."  
"I still can't believe she thought the animal mice were used to make a cursor move..." Weiss shrugged. "Then again, she was literally born a year ago."  
"Oh, I don't even want to know why Velvet asked for those..." Weiss rubbed her temples. "That pervert is obsessed with me..."

...

"I can't believe you snuck into detention to read me a fanfic and got Glynda _kidnapped_ by that...Mami Appreciation Society thing..." Weiss sighed. "You got us _all_ into trouble!"

Yang frowned. "In my defence, I expected her to enjoy the attention. It says it all in her diary, after all."  
"Yes, but still!"

Ruby chuckled. "I loved this fic! It was absolutely hilarious!"

"Yes, and Yang only read it because it hard _her name on it_." The heiress reminded her. "She'd read a two-word fic if it had her name on it."  
"Any fic with my name on it is awesome because I'm just the sexiest, most badass person here!" Yang pumped her fist. "Hell yeah!"

"This whole fic was nothing but Yang's ego and perversion!" Weiss snapped, before muttering miserably. "Measurements...who cares about _measurements..._"  
Yang grinned.

"Well, maybe if you _had_ measurements to speak of-"  
"YANG XIAO LONG I SWEAR SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID CHEST" The heiress shrieked. "I don't even know why anyone finds those attractive! Those are just a bunch of lumps of useless fat..."  
The brawler merely stuck her tongue out at her teasingly.

"Just jelly~"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**Chapter count: 23-34**

**A/N: I think we'll need to turn this into a three parter to cover the Cockerel Festival Arc and then finish up after that from 45-75. And then after this, ****Cards against Remnant**** will be featured, so hold on to your seats, people who still like this crappy fic!  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	76. Weiss Reacts: The Recappening, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts: The Recappening, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Let the riffing continue, and let the shenanigans happen! Let's do this! Let the riffing continue, the shenanigans carry on and the antics rise once more!**

**Er...yeah, that's it, really. Exams made me run out of fun things to say. I dunno. I'll stop ranting now before you guys burn me alive for making no sense.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would have her own personal tiltjet, because it's Weiss and blah.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Oh! Oh!" Ruby cried happily, pointing at the screen. "I remember that! I love that story!"

Yang giggled. "Yeah, you always liked it when I told the ending of that story."

"The Cockerel Festival." Weiss sighed, remembering the climax of that particular event. "...that was a mixed bag."  
"Quite." Blake nodded briefly. "At least I kicked Adam's backside."

The heiress' eyes narrowed. "That had to have been the highlight of your festival, wasn't it..."  
"Of course! Although he is pretty tough now with his new sword skills and crap..." The catgirl admitted. "Not that I'll ever tell him that."

"We totally owned Nora." Ruby cracked her knuckles, pumping her fist. "We _totally_ owned her and Ren."  
"Tch. What did you expect to happen?" The heiress scoffed, crossing her arms smugly. "Even with her love of explosives, Nora was never going to win against the likes of myself."  
Yang crossed her arms, smiling. "Oh, getting a little arrogant, are we, missy?"

"Unlike you, Yang, I actually made it _past_ the first round of the festival." Weiss reminded her haughtily. The brawler crossed her arms, turning away.

"T-that festival wasn't worth anything anyway! Y-you cheated and you know it."  
"All's fair in love and war." Weiss pointed out, still smiling. "You of all people should know that, Xiao Long~"  
"D-did you just use a _tilde_?!" The brawler stared at her in shock. "W-what is this?! I feel inadequate!"

"Ah, the beauty of karma." Weiss sighed happily, taking in her tormentor's shocked expression.

'_Every once in a while, I have to have my way. It's nice when that happens, especially to perverts like her...'_

Blake shuddered, staring at Weiss' seemingly happy expression.

"...you know, if it isn't Ruby making her smile, Weiss smiling makes me nervous." The catgirl muttered.

Ruby raised a finger. "Because she only smiles when my sister gets her comeuppance?"

Yang clutched her chest, looking offended. "S-sis! I thought you were on _my_ side!"

"Sorry, you _have_ spent half the year basically being a more inconsiderate Bugs Bunny." The reaper pointed out. "It's not like Weiss doesn't deserve a little comeuppance."

The brawler pouted. "P-please. I know my tropes. People love me!"

"The reviewers say otherwise, but then again, half the chapters that don't either have us or Norn and Velvet don't get any viewers." Blake shrugged.

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "Would you two stop talking about things I don't understand?!"  
"I thought nothing could stand the mighty Weiss Schnee~" The brawler threw Weiss' earlier comment back in her face, but the heiress was prepared.  
"Yes, you're exhibit one, losing to a dirty trick you didn't anticipate!"  
"D-dammit, Weiss! W-would you leave that topic?!"  
"Not on your _life._"

...

Blake smiled, pride swelling in her chest as she remembered how she'd helped her beloved daughter-cum-personal assistant robot win.  
"Heh. I remember making those modifications." The catgirl recalled proudly. "The Silver Crow Protocol..."  
"I really liked the wings on her, too." Yang said, nodding in approval. "Those're pretty cool. Where'd you find the time to make them?"  
The catgirl shrugged. "Between projects. I decided installing wings on Norn would be cooler than giving her repulsors or a jetpack or something.

I _have_ been working on a little update to the Protocol, but I'm going to need time to test it before I put into use."

"The one time I'm not horrified to figure out what sort of antic capability you've given her..." Weiss mused, eyeing Blake suspiciously.

"Not everything is antics, Weiss."  
"Oh, I beg to _differ_, knowing your track record."  
Ruby carefully pawed a cookie out of the bag and pushed it into her mouth. "You know, I was pretty surprised she took so much damage from Velvet, too."  
"Ensemble darkhorse power." Yang shrugged. "It's a thing."

Weiss rubbed her temples. "You know, I will never understand _half_ the things you say..."  
"You lead a boring life~" Yang stuck her tongue out teasingly. "A _very_ boring life~"

Blake sighed. "I just need someone like Sun to look over the last couple of bits for that design. It's pretty radical, all things considered, and I think it's pretty much my best work with mechanics."  
"If it's to make Norn better at antics, you're ruining the one creation you've ever made I actually _like_." Weiss pointed out. The catgirl merely wagged her finger, grinning.

"Oh, Weiss. Trust me when I say this, the people will be kicking themselves for _not_ seeing what I plan for her coming."

...

Blake smiled smugly, cracking her knuckles. "Damn straight, I get my moment to shine.

Adam has absolutely _nothing_ on me. Absolutely _nothing._"  
Weiss exhaled, looking to the monitor. "Yes, for once, it didn't involve you morons pranking me."  
"It's been a pretty long time since we last properly pranked you." Yang pointed out, grinning. The heiress blanched.

"NO! I...DAMN IT! I GAVE YOU IDIOTS IDEAS!"  
"Oooooh, I still got it." The brawler giggled. "And just in case you think we _haven't_ pulled one off today..."

Off in the distance, Winter's surprised squeal could be heard. Weiss froze.

"...just _what_ did you just do to my sister?!"  
Blake whistled. "She'll be needing a _ton_ of seltzer to clean _that_ stain out. And maybe a wild Nora or two."  
The heiress facepalmed. "You two make me wonder if _I'm_ the sane one or if I'm insane."  
"Sanity's relative." Ruby shrugged. "At least, that's what dad says."

The brawler nodded in agreement. "Sanity is indeed relative. Our dad's pretty sane."  
"My dad always said Taiyang was the biggest pervert he'd ever met." Weiss pointed out.

"Oh, dad IS perverted, _very_ much so, _especially_ to Yin." Yang admitted, giggling. "He wouldn't have two adorable daughters if he wasn't~"  
"I don't recall you having a third sibling." Weiss quipped. Yang looked offended.

"W-what?! I-I'm adorable!"  
"I thought you were _sexy_." The heiress shot back. "Seeing as you are entirely _obsessed_ with claiming that title from my sister."  
"Oh..._oh._" The brawler suddenly realised Weiss had her, metaphorically speaking, on the ropes. "Touché, you sneaky minx."

Ruby poked Blake's arm. "If it helps, Blake still thinks you're sexy."

"N-no I don't!" The catgirl cried, too quickly for her own good.

Yang and Weiss both stared at her.

"Did she..." The heiress flinched, unbelieving of what she just witnessed.

Yang nodded. "I think she just went full _tsun-tsun_."

"I did NOT. I refuse to adhere to that clichéd trope!" Blake snapped. "You people think I'm predictable just because we're nearly at the end of the second volume, well newsflash, I am _not_ going to do that!"

"Oh, we'll see, kitten~" Yang winked at her mischievously. "We _will_ see."

* * *

Weiss raised her hand.

"I want to...skip this next chapter." The heiress admitted. "...I don't want to hear about my family's...rather checkered past right now."  
"...all that really needs to be said is that Siegmund's the biggest bastard grandfather since Heihachi freaking Mishima..." Yang shuddered. "Or for that matter, Zouken Matou..."  
...

Blake snickered. "Wow, Ren. Wow. You _seriously_ ripped off Kung Fu Hustle. Freaking _seriously._"  
"You're one to talk with your Gurren Lagann rip-off of a finishing move!" Weiss retorted.

"At least my move is _manly_!"  
"And a giant burning palm from the sky is not manly?" Ruby pointed out with a frown. "It is basically a giant flaming palm from the _sky_.

Like, it's the _opposite _of piercing the heavens, it's the _heavens_ piercing the earth!"

"Only dwarves do that, and they must do it by _striking the earth_. Preferably with a nice supply of plump helmet booze." Blake pointed out helpfully.

Weiss smiled, patting Ruby on the back. "You did well, Ruby. Ren's a hard combatant, both to deal with his stupid antics and his actual fighting skill."

"Awww. Thanks, Weiss~" The reaper giggled, hugging her to her side. "I wuv you too~"

"Ggh...you're squeezing me too tightly..." The heiress choked out from the hug. "R-Ruby..."

"I'm just so _happy_!"

Blake grumbled. "And I still can't believe I got _totally knocked out_..."

The heiress crossed her arms. "Nobody can beat a Schnee at fighting. I've taught you people this lesson _multiple_ times."

"This seems to be the volume in which antics get their comeuppance..." Yang pouted.

...

Weiss exhaled. "...you know, guys, I have to thank you for backing me up when you did."

"Heh. You're going to be my future little sister!" Yang laughed, smiling. "It'd pretty poor form for me to not save your backside from a scumbag like him.

And besides, you'd lose without us. You lack awesomeness."  
"Whatever you say." Weiss rolled her eyes, but it was clear she really grateful for the save- clear from her satisfied smile.

"Y'know, I was pretty surprised Winter didn't jump into the Lagann with us." Ruby noted. "She seems like the kind of sister who'd always watch out for her youngers."  
"If you had more space in the Lagann, she would've followed you on." Weiss pointed out. "And she was there anyway, she accompanied me back with Mother."

"Ah." Yang nodded. "Makes sense.

But man, we totally kicked your granddad's ar-"

"Yang, language!" Weiss snapped.

"...fine, we kicked his butt." The brawler rolled her eyes. "Honestly, if you're gonna get _that_ whiny about the scumbag who made your life hell..."  
"It's not that, but if you're going to insult him, then insult him in a sophisticated manner!" The heiress cried. "We still have _class_ on this team."  
Yang snorted. "Class? Class is for boring killjoys like you to whine at us about. We don't have _class_."

"_You_ don't have class, Yang."

"I don't need class. I just need my sexiness, which your sister _stole_ from me!"  
Blake chuckled, looking at the screen to check the next chapter's content.

"Oh, speaking of which, the next chapter is about Winter stealing your admirers."

The brawler blanched, collapsing to her knees. "Why does this happen to me?!

Dammit, whatever cosmic deity I angered with my antics, I'm sorry already!"

* * *

Ruby giggled. "Oh, Valentines' Day! That was pretty fun..."  
"You guys went out to that Furukawa Bakery place at the edge of town, didn't you?" Blake inquired. "I was hunkering down in my mancave, working on my projects."  
"I-It's unfair that I barely even have an Appreciation Society..." Yang whimpered. "Why does Winter get one..."

Weiss shrugged, putting out her palm and counting the reasons on her hands. "Oh, the perverts like her because her chest is bigger than yours, the chivalrous perverts like her because she's one of the nicest girls in the school..."

"Putting up with Weiss? She's a _saint._" Blake quipped.

"And everyone else likes her precisely because she's everything you aren't. Kind to a fault, oblivious to everything involving love and she looks better than you." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Stupid perverts here.

Knowing them, I would rather choke myself than let any of them date my sister."  
Ruby giggled. "Well, we finally know what Jaune was doing with Winter..."  
Weiss exhaled irritably. "Oh, of course, the perverts chased her out of her dorm with their stupid chocolates. Why am I not surprised?"  
"That used to be me..." Yang whimpered.

"Meanwhile...you know, I think Pyrrha needs to get a hold of herself." Weiss commented harshly. "Yes, Jaune was her first true friend, I will admit that. Even I only viewed her as a meal ticket, and for that, I am incredibly sorry.

But...she's turned it into an _obsession_..."  
Blake shrugged in response. "Well, Jaune's just a good a guy as any. He's nice, willing to put up with a lot for his friends, loyal, and protective.

If I were looking for someone to want to spend my life with, I'd probably pick someone like that. And no, NOT Jaune, Yang!"  
"The good people have already written tons of Jaune/Blake fic." The brawler stated matter-of-factly. "My job's done for me.

Also, Minako's a freaking troll, trolling Pyrrha like that over Jaune..."  
"I'll bet you _anything_ Minako's just going along with it to troll Pyrrha." Yang declared. "I'm betting you Jaune's actual harem's just Winter and Pyrrha, and the rest of it's his Semblance having the whole 'it can't turn off' thing."

"I'm still doubting that's all it has." Blake tapped her fingers on the desk. Weiss crossed her arms, staring at her.

"You've said that _every _time we mention Jaune's Semblance."  
"Because it's entirely useless in combat!" The catgirl snapped. "There's got to be some sort of combat application or it isn't just attracting people to him that that thing does! It's just not right!"

Ruby nodded in assent. "You know, I agree...he's got the only Semblance in the world that's useless for battle unless Blake's logic's correct."

...

Yang had her face in her hands at the mention of Winter's fanboys and fangirls.

"It's just not fair..." The brawler whimpered. "Not fair that she gets all the fans now..."  
"She is best waifu." Blake shrugged. "Come on, she's basically our Naoto or Chiaki. There's no contest in waifu-ing.

Winter beats everyone in the waifu-rating."

Yang perked up, snapping her fingers. "That's it! I just have to act more waifu-like! Then people will like me again!"  
"Desperation. Apparently _that's_ sexy now." Weiss remarked sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Just quit being so fixated on it and you'll finally get it back, whatever you think Winter stole from you."

"It's just not fair though!"

Blake whistled wistfully. "Well. That was a very cliché fall save, and you two are screwed."

The heiress shuddered as she read about Jaune and Winter being surrounded by hordes of their admirers.

"That must be some sort of horror story somewhere in the universe..."

Ruby shoved another cookie into her mouth. "Yeah...they were basically surrounded..."

The catgirl stared in disbelief at the couple's luck. "Good Dust, that's a Deus ex Machina if I ever saw one, seeing Port save them..."

"Better than the alternative." Weiss pointed out.

Yang whimpered again. "I want admirers to horde around me again..."

Ruby snickered. "Oh, wow, Winter...you _seriously_ just invited the three of them onto a _triple date..._"

Weiss twitched.

"...in my defence, that is _so_ unlikely that I just _have_ to blame Xiao Long for doing that."

"That is a _genius_ antic..." The brawler pointed out. "...but, just like she stole my sexiness, Winter stole the best opportunity for antics I ever had..."

The heiress facepalmed, exasperated.

'_Yang Xiao Long is the most hopeless moron to walk this forsaken earth, I swear.' _Weiss thought, staring at the depressed brawler. _'THE most hopeless moron.'_

* * *

Weiss and Yang both blanched.

"NO! NOT THESE FICS!" They cried in unison, remembering the Agents of Beacon fics. "NOO!"

Blake snickered. "You guys can't handle fans shipping you?"  
"Weiss is an irritating killjoy!" The brawler complained. "Why would I bless her with my sexiness?!"  
"X-Xiao Long is a complete moron who needs to get therapy for her narcissistic urges. I only tolerate her because of her sister." The heiress retorted, crossing her arms.

"If I didn't know you two, I'd think you were both being tsundere to each other..." The catgirl responded, giggling.

"D'aww..." Ruby put her hand on her chest, smiling. "Thanks."

"Thank me by making your sister stop being a pervert."

Blake clapped. "At least Nora's happy about being a literal Valkyrie."

"I'm offended at the implication I'm some sort of part-ice ghost-cum-demon..." Weiss huffed. "Seriously. I'm not _that_ cold."

"This was not a good day for my gut..." Yang winced, being reminded of the multiple punches she'd received from both Blake and Weiss.

"Still confused why Nora didn't just kill the skinchanger thing but eh." Ruby shrugged. "It's cool."

...

"SCREW YOUR LUCK!" Weiss cried, disbelieving of her girlfriend's luck with Pokémon. "SERIOUSLY?!"  
Ruby giggled. "I'm just that kind of person."  
Yang grinned, chuckling. "Jealous?"  
"Shut it, Xiao Long."

Blake whistled. "The luck you got with the right team that ended up overleveled for the fights..."

"Seriously, why did Ruby get everything handed to her?!" The heiress complained. "That game basically gave her everything!"  
"No, you just suck." Yang pointed out helpfully. "We told you this, Nanami proved it, you suck at video games."  
"Civilization."

"SCREW YOU."

...

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Even _exercise_ for you is nothing but an exercise in showing off your chest..."  
Yang shrugged. "If you've got it, flaunt it."

"And this fic nearly proved I would beat you if it wasn't for your stupid antics!"  
"My antics weren't what caused it, so why aren't you scolding Ruby?" The brawler complained.

The reaper grinned. "Because I'm adorable!"  
"No, you're a dunce who forced my poor fanfic-self to suffer the threat of Jazzercise." The heiress remarked. Ruby sank.

"S-sorry..."

"And the only time you manage to beat me is when you cheat!" The brawler snapped. "Cheater!"  
"Unlike you, I still have _dignity_ and I don't _need_ to cheat to win." The heiress snapped right back. "Don't mistake my actions for you."

Blake giggled at the fic's descriptions. "And of course, we get to the part where Weiss tries to do weights and fails.

What a lightweight."  
"YOU BE QUIET."

...

Weiss glared at Blake irritably, reminded of what she'd done. "You still owe me for breaking my computer."

The catgirl shrugged. "It's worth it for the cause of manliness."  
"It was a petty reason and you know it was."

"In my defence, I wanted to _win_ something for once!"

Yang giggled. "Ah, Toradora. Otherwise known as the anime which portrays Weiss _perfectly._"  
"I told you, I am NOTHING like Taiga! She is a perverted, bratty child who I don't understand how that moron Ryuuji falls for!" The heiress snapped.

The brawler smiled. "The same reason Ruby fell for you. You're both adorable."  
"I am _not_ adorable. I am a refined lady of refined taste!"  
"Funny, I didn't take you for Winter." Blake quipped. Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Oh, how _funny_, Blake."

Yang whistled. "You know, taking a leaf from Taiga's book with the pads might help you out."

She got a slap to the back of the head for her troubles.

"Shut. Up." Weiss vehemently muttered, looking away.

"I still can't believe those two got together."  
"It was in the _freaking title._" Yang stated, emphasising her words with her hands gesturing towards the chapter title. "It's not like it was exactly _unexpected_. They spent literally half the series together."

"Still horribly cliché..." Weiss grumbled. "I don't see why everyone had to be so stupid about it.

Only Ami made any sense and _nobody listened to the poor girl._"  
"You act like an alpha...person the whole series, that's your karma." Yang shrugged. "Just the way the cookie crumbles."

"...that's a terrible idiom."  
"Oh, I know."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, we will finally possibly be able to finish all of the remaining Weiss Reacts chapters and then you people can get back to something fun.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	77. Weiss Reacts: The Recappening, Part 3!

**Weiss Reacts: The Recappening, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Boy, it's been one long weekend and boy, do I need to get that totally-planned myth arc started eventually. I mean, I've set it all up; Chiaki, Jaune's Semblance, Norn's upgrades, the Antic Order being what it is...and of course get all these nice and nifty fanfics that we keep saying we'll react to out of the way. That is, to anyone who still reads this crap. :P**

**With that in mind, let's get this out of the way!  
DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise Weiss would be the token mini-moe.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Warning for spoilers to ALL the stories mentioned here.**

* * *

_The Shadow of Fire, Part 3_

Ruby frowned. "Oh come on, we're reading about the fic where all my limbs get blown off..."  
"People tend to like blowing your limbs off for some reason." Yang sighed, rubbing her temples. "It seems to be a fetish with this fandom, along with killing you off."  
"And this fic manages to do _both_." Weiss muttered, exasperated at the trend. "How. _How_?!"  
Blake nodded slowly. "This fic still reminds me of Exalted for some reason.

Must be the fact that everyone seems to be either a god, a demi-god, or some sort of major league badass. If it was a happier fic and had more Exalted elements, this could be the Glorious Shotgun Princess of the fandom."  
"_Yeaaaaaah_ no." Yang rolled her eyes. "The fic's good, but not _that_ good. And definitely not reality-hacking.

Although Ozpin still strikes me as a Sidereal..."

"You know, I've yet to figure out where Zwei goes when we're not looking..." Yang rubbed her chin, reading the monitor.

"Arf!" The dog barked from behind them, his tongue hanging out happily.

"Being chased by-" The heiress facepalmed. "My life used to make sense. When _your girlfriend's dog_ is running away from fangirls...that makes me doubt if _I'm_ the sane one or _everyone else _is..."

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." Ruby commented, shrugged. "You could probably become queen of the world or something."

"D-don't give her ideas!" Yang cried. "You've seen how power-mad she becomes!"  
Weiss rubbed her chin. "The Holy Kingdom of Schnee does have a nice ring to it-"  
"You will rule this country over my dead body." The brawler retorted, crossing her arms defiantly. "I will literally _die_ before I have to follow any law of yours! You'd probably make antics illegal or something."  
"Most of your antics are illegal _anyway_!"

"Nuh-uh. Not under the East Wing Concordat."  
"THAT ISN'T EVEN A LEGAL DOCUMENT!"  
"By the definition of legal document, it is, and every government in the world would recognise it." The brawler retorted, wagging her finger. Weiss seethed.  
"Urusai...Urusai...URUSAI!" The heiress snapped. Blake looked over to Ruby.

"You know, I never figured out why Weiss knows Japanese and German." The catgirl mused, pointedly looking over at the reaper.

"Well, her mom _is_ a famous idol in Japan. She probably picked it up from her."

"Or she could not deny the inexorable exhortations of her tsundere soul." Yang declared melodically.

Blake and Ruby merely stared at her, blinking.

"What in the name of Dust was _that_ supposed to be?" The catgirl inquired.

"Would you morons get back to reading the story already?!" Weiss interjected, interrupting the conversation.

Ruby whimpered. "Y-yes, ma'am!"

...

_Mafia_

Weiss cheered triumphantly. "FINALLY! A CHAPTER THAT DISPLAYS MY TRUE SUPERIORITY!"  
"Y-you only won out of luck!" Yang reminded her, crossing her arms and looking away, embarrassed. "If those idiots had just voted me up, I would've won!"  
"Just accept it, you failed and I won, thus proving my superiority and thus disproving your supposed _awesomeness_." The heiress smiled.

Blake was busy actually reading the fic.

"You know, I can never tell if Minako's trolling or actually into Jaune..." She complained. "I'm putting money on the trolling."  
"Why?" Ruby tilted her head.

"Well, just seems like a thing she'd do. She's pretty trolly, all things considered." Blake admitted. "And maaaaan people fell for my ruse.

That was definitely a good claim, calling Investigator."  
Ruby giggled. "I'm just adorable enough nobody would ever think silly old me would commit crimes~"  
"That was a stupid move on my part." Weiss grumbled. "I should've known. After all, quite a few movies have the villain as a person close to the protagonist."  
"Point taken." Yang nodded. "Surprisingly savvy of you~"  
"S-shut up. I have my moments of savviness, y-you moron!"

...

_Beauty Pageant, Parts 1-3_

"Only a pervert would ever come up with a beauty pageant." Weiss scoffed irritably. "I've said it once, I'll say it again. Besides, the only reason I even got into this was because Yang couldn't take being less attractive than someone!"  
"H-hey, I was the queen of sexy before Winter even _existed_!" Yang complained, pouting. "How come _she_ gets to be sexier than me?!"  
"Winter's _older_ than you."  
"I don't care! I'm sexier!" Yang retorted childishly. The heiress resisted the urge to slap her, simply muttering 'dumb Chihuahua' under her breath.

Blake giggled. "I need to write that crossover fic with RWBY and Toradora. Weiss would probably get along pretty well with Ami."  
"Oh, that moronic pretentious idiot?" Weiss scoffed. "I'd sooner get along with an actual Chihuahua than her.

She reminds me too much of Pyrrha's mother, anyway, and _she_ is a complete _moron_. Seriously, claiming she can't stand her husband and making out with him the next moment...what _nerve_!"  
The catgirl rolled her eyes. "Takes one to know one."  
Suddenly, the heiress glared directly at her, crossing her arms. "What's _that_ supposed to mean, Belladonna?"

Ruby giggled. "Vivi should've won that. She's pretty adorable anyway, what with being a plushie and all..."  
"I bet her fanclub went crazy." Blake whistled, ignoring Weiss' glare. "I'm surprised they didn't try to mob _her_..."

Yang crossed her arms. "I wish people would mob the stage for _me_. Where was _my_ fanclub?!"

"It was there. Winter's simply overshadowed it." Blake shrugged. "Seems obliviously sexy beats knowingly sexy."  
"T-t-that's not...but...ARRRGH!" The brawler screamed in frustration. "Damn it! Can I just _win_ something for once?

Elf-sama, come on! You always make my antics go wrong!"

"And they should because that's simply karmic justice for _doing them in the first place_." The heiress retorted. "Even if this _Elf-sama_ cared enough to change your fate."

"That's just not fair..." Yang whimpered. "It just isn't fair..."

* * *

_Blake and Jaune's Infinite Playlist_

Blake blushed. "W-what?! C-can we skip this chapter?!"

Yang grinned. "Why, afraid something might slip out?"  
"No." The catgirl retorted. "Unlike Weiss, I'm completely confident in _who_ I may or may not have feelings for. Through research, I've determined I just don't feel anything for him without his Semblance."

"Don't go _Faust_ on me, Blakey!" The brawler complained. "Seriously?"

Weiss seethed. "I'm _still_ not going to accept that my _sister_ has feelings for that moron. She's just too _innocent_ for that..."  
"D'aww...Weiss is getting all protective of her sister." Ruby squeed happily, clasping her hands together. "That's so sweet!"

"Arc's a moron. Why would I want to be his sister in law?!"  
"You're letting me be your sister in law." Yang pointed out.

"Unfortunate consequence of dating your sister."

"And wouldn't Jaune marrying Winter bring the unfortunate consequence of being Jaune's sister-in-law?"  
"That's a different thing entirely!" Weiss snapped.

Yang frowned. "I don't think it is."

Ruby rubbed her chin. "I wasn't too happy with Weiss looking like one of those manipulative anime schoolgirls in this fic. She's grumpy, not manipulative..."

"I'm only grumpy because I have to deal with your sexiness-obsessed sister and Blake's obsession with manliness..." Weiss pointed out.

"At least Yang proved she was a judge of good character. Heh. I'm not petty and cruel."  
Yang stuck her tongue out.

"Oh, we can debate _petty_~"

"XIAO LONG"

...

_Diary of Glynda Goodwitch Parts 3-4 and the Beacon Holiday Retreat_

"So THAT'S where they all went for that week." Yang realised, nodding slowly. "Huh. They said they were going away, but not even Cindy told me they were going off on a vacation..."  
Weiss shrugged. "They deserve one for having to deal with your antics."  
"Hey, I don't even _prank_ people that much anymore! Besides, you people always predict my antics! It's not fun!"

"Somehow, I don't trust you for not pranking people." The heiress' eyes narrowed. "That's just _not_ you.

For you to not prank someone would be tantamount to an alcoholic attempting to quit cold-"

A distressed squeal in the distance told Weiss she was right; the squeal seemed to belong to Velvet. The brawler's face slowly curled into a grin. Weiss facepalmed.

"You have _got _to be kidding me."  
"I still got it~"

Blake chuckled. "Glynda really _does_ act like an older Weiss."  
"Nonsense!" The heiress snapped. "I act nothing like her!"  
"You're both tsunderes, you're both sensitive about your chest size and you're both obsessed with stopping antics from happening." The catgirl responded, listing down each way Glynda was similar to Weiss. "Trust me, you two are like peas in a pod."  
"Y-yes, but she has a perverted obsession with every single girl around her!"  
"And you've got one for Ruby." Blake pointed out. "At least you direct your urges to one and only one person."  
Weiss blushed profusely, but she knew she couldn't argue back. She turned away, crossing her arms.

"This isn't over...i-idiot..."

"Wow. Who knew Glynda got up to so much when she was a kid..." Ruby looked amazed, reading about Glynda reading about her own youth. "I wonder why she hates what we do so much?"  
"She has some _sense_ in her, unlike you guys." Weiss scoffed. "At least she knows getting into stupid shenanigans is _bad_ for mental health."

Yang put her hand to her mouth, giggling madly. "Ohohohohoh, Professor Faust found out about them knowing all about it...

Wait, wait. Crap. Guys, you realise by reading this, we know all about Faust's obsession with Slenderman, right?"

Weiss stepped back, blinking. "Oh, good Dust, you're right.

Blake, is the door locked?"  
"Well, if Faust knew about us knowing about her dark secret, then we wouldn't be _reading_ about this." The catgirl pointed out. "We'd probably be unconscious and being sacrificed to some dark god or something."

Just as she said that, she looked behind her, as if to check if Faust had broken into their dorm. Yang, meanwhile, checked the vent underneath their table. Even Weiss looked nervous- after all, Professor Faust had her way of doing things that were thought to be impossible, including breaking into locked rooms and summoning untold abominations from beyond the void.

Blake sighed in relief, as the moment passed, and no sign of the professor was to be had. "Alright, alright. We can all go off alert now, she doesn't know."  
"The one time I am scared of the same thing you morons are..." The heiress shuddered. "...ggh...and Glynda, good god, you PERVERT!"

"A slipped bra strap? Oh, _Glynda_!" Yang giggled. "I never realised how desperate she used to be...I mean, she's desperate _now_, but to sink to _that_ level..."  
"Never mind what I said about you and Glynda being the same. Glynda's _worse_..." Blake shuddered. The heiress rubbed her temples. "Good Dust...even our adults are a bunch of manchildren...no wonder your antics are allowed, Xiao Long."

"And this might probably explain why-OH WOW SERIOUSLY CINDER YOU PERVERT." Weiss started seething. "Why would she just...WHY?!"  
Yang snickered. "She just wants to share the love! She's an honorary Xiao Long, after all~"

"Oh, of _that_ I'm not surprised. Dressing Miss Honda up in skimpy suits and then acting like a creepy pervert around Professor Goodwitch. The irony being, because of her creepiness, I _completely_ believe she's a virgin.

Her innocence, though, is questionable."

Blake winced. "Ooooh, that's a burn."

"It's my experience that perverts like her never do anything to solve their own lack of _action_, as Yang likes to call it." The heiress remarked. "Hence why Yang is _also_ a supposedly _innocent_ virgin."  
"You know I could use that to get people to find me more sexy~"

"OH ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" The heiress roared. "NOT ONLY DOES YANG GET ANOTHER PERVERTED IDEA BUT PROFESSOR KANOE DOES THAT?!

GRAAAAAAHHHHH-"

...

_Five Nights at Freddy's_

"Oh, not _this_ game!" Weiss cried. "This game was nothing but a stupid antic! A STUPID ANTIC!"  
"Just because you suck at that game doesn't make it a _stupid antic_. You just suck at it." Blake pointed out, a smirk on her face.  
"That moron on the phone barely taught me anything!"

Ruby raised a finger helpfully. "Maybe because you didn't _listen_ to Phone Guy?"  
"He was blabbering on about nonsense that was completely _irrelevant!_"

Blake looked over to Yang. "Hey. You know Freddy showing up on night one?"  
"Hm?"  
"..." The catgirl toned her voice down to a whisper. "Did you rig it?"  
The brawler merely gave her a knowing smile. "Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't~"

"AND YOU TOLD HER TO DO THAT" Weiss glared at Yang. "YOU TOLD HER TO DRESS LIKE THAT

I WILL EXECUTE YOU FOR TREASON"

Yang's maniacal laughter was the only sound that filled the room for the next couple of minutes as Weiss had to be restrained not to beat Yang silly for letting Velvet scare her half to death.

* * *

_RWBY Battle Royale_

"And here, I lose for no reason!" Weiss screeched. "Why can't I win in anything?!"  
"Because you're doomed to fail~" Yang giggled. "And besides, Ruby's the protagonist, she always wins."

"You lost, though."  
"I beat you~"

"I would actually beat you. The Cockerel Festival proved as much!"  
"You CHEATED!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Amateurs."

Yang turned to her, grinning. "Mad because you lost?"  
The catgirl's expression instantaneously went stormy. "Don't remind me. The one time _you_ won something and it cost _me_ my tuna sandwiches!"  
"This is why you don't bet against me~" Yang responded in a sing-song voice, grinning.

Ruby sighed in relief. "Finally, a fanfic that doesn't involve me getting my limbs blown off.

That's refreshing to read about..."

"But disappointing in that I _still_ somehow lost to Yang..." The heiress sighed. "At least they corrected her assumption that her large chest is somehow _worth _anything in the real world..."

"It is, dear, and you're just-"  
"If I must lecture you about the ease of acrobatic manoeuvres with a small chest, then you're going to look like a complete _fool_." The heiress retorted, shutting Yang down before she could even start speaking.

"I-I...damn it!"

...

_RWBY Volume 2, Parts 1-2_

Weiss sighed in exasperation. "And of _course_ we can hardly even watch a TV show without being caught in the middle of some stupid antics..."

"In fairness, Yang _did_ invite Nora, Velvet _and_ Ren..." Ruby pointed out. Yang frowned.

"They're our friends. I can _hardly_ leave them _out_ of our RWBY marathons!" The brawler protested. "That'd be _uncivilized,_ as Weiss would probably say."  
"Having my chest _violated_ by _Velvet_ is _not civilized_!"

Blake chuckled. "Well, at least Winter was good for a laugh. The show was pretty good, too."  
"The accuracy's pretty off." Yang pointed out. "Weiss' chest shouldn't exist, for one...and I'm _way_ more awesome than they made me out~"  
"And I angsted too much." Blake muttered, scowling. "Far too much."  
"I personally liked the canon Blake." Weiss stated. "Aside from her being _far_ less obnoxious than you, she actually has some _nuance_ in her personality."  
"Nuance shmuance, I'm more badass than canon Blake and you know it!"

Ruby pawed another cookie into her mouth. "At least we had a pretty cool fight with a giant mecha..."  
"That one episode near the end, though. No Brakes?" Blake winced. "...there...there's some _serious_ fridge logic there."

"Like?" The reaper looked curiously at her.  
"Do you want an alphabetical or chronological list?"

...

_Team Fortress 2_

"GAH XIAO LONG UNHAND ME AND GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY EYES" Weiss squirmed as Yang tried to prevent her from reading the chapter.

"B-Blake! Change it! Quickly! She can't know about Chiaki!" Yang squealed. Blake obliged, hurriedly changing the chapter.

"Got it."  
"XIAO LONG"

...

_Paternal Messages_

"What was so _secret _that I didn't see that you had to _hide _it from me?!" Weiss seethed angrily. Yang whistled innocently. "Nothing at all. It's perverted. And you'd hate to see perverted stuff, right?"  
"I'm convinced this is _all_ just part of a big antic..." The heiress muttered irritably, but conceded the point.

'_If Yang thinks it's perverted enough I shouldn't see it...gah, it's probably an act.'_

Blake sighed. "Oh, _this_ comic. Good Dust, this was hilarious, especially seeing Jaune _squirm..._"

Yang nodded in agreement. "Everyone basically went mad over Jaune, and it was _hilarious_..."  
"Even _Winter_." Ruby giggled. Weiss merely scowled.

"Winter was merely expressing concern for a friend!" The heiress snapped. "I somehow doubt that she's crushing on Jaune!"

The brawler started laughing. "Oh, Weiss, you don't have to be tsun-tsun on your sister's behalf!"

"I am NOT!"

The reaper merely bobbed her head around, chuckling. "This comic was pretty funny."  
"Heh. It's basically _our_ Jaune, but less lucky and more screwed. Seriously, what kind of a dickish dad would sell his child into marriage to get rid of debts?" Yang complained, looking irritated.

* * *

_Music Standoffs: The Sequel_

"You know what, I forgot about something here." Yang sighed. "I forgot to get Hokuago Tea-Time's autographs!

And DAMMIT I MISSED IKA AND EIKO!"

Weiss stared over at Ruby. "Guess we were both wrong about the likelihood of those people showing up, in hindsight."

"Yep."  
"That was a couple of hilarious days, with Blakey trying to get over her moehate and all..."

"Although, this _Mugi_ person sounds like a complete pervert..." Weiss seethed. "The blonde girl, right?

It seems to be common that every blonde person I've met is either an immense pervert or an unlucky pervert."

"That's hardly fair to blondes." Blake pointed out, frowning.

"Yang and Taiyang Xiao Long, complete perverts. Jaune Arc, moron. This Mugi woman, obsessed with taking pictures of her friends in indecent situations.

Even _Goodwitch_ is a pervert. Do you see my point yet?"  
"What about Sun?" Ruby offered. "He's alright."  
"The rumours say he's with that Gunther girl. Or with Neptune. Or has a perverted interest in tanks." The heiress answered. "A-and he's the exception that _proves _the rule!"

Yang giggled. "Well, it was a good show-off, at least. We held our own against professionals, right?"  
"True." Weiss sighed, conceding another point to Yang. "True, we did.

AND YOU DUNCES RECRUITED MUGI TO THE ORDER. ARE YOU SERIOUS."  
"She wanted to join!" Yang pointed out. "After Nora explained everything to her, she was completely enthusiastic about it!"

"I somehow doubt that."

...

_Remnant's Reclaimer_

"Oh, oh! This is the fic where I get to be a future badass!" Ruby pumped her fist joyfully. "Yesssss!"

Blake frowned. "And the one where I get paired with Ruby.

I mean...I wouldn't mind. Ruby's a nice girl. But...she's taken, and I have another g-_person_ in mind."  
"Oooooh?" Yang looked interested, smiling. "I wonder who it is?"  
"N-not you, Yang. G-get yourself out of my face."  
"Just asking, kitten. Sheesh, no need to get mad~"

Weiss only looked even more exasperated than she already was. "It seems like _every member of the Xiao Long-Rose family are a bunch of __**perverts**_."  
"Runs in the blood~" Yang cheekily responded.

"Even _future_ Ruby, who came from a future where _everyone we know is dead_ is still _enough_ of a pervert to _seduce_ Glynda!" Weiss hissed. "_SERIOUSLY?!_"

Yang clapped her younger sister on the back. _"NOW_ that's the way we do it!"  
Ruby cringed, shaking her head. "N-no...I don't think so."  
"What, you've never had the Goodwitch fantasy?"  
"N-no!" The reaper blushed profusely, shaking her head. Yang looked disappointed.

"Aw."

"_WAIT THIS IS THE FIC WHERE I GET PAIRED WITH YANG_" Weiss realised, her eyes widening in horror. Yang's also widened in horror, staring at the screen.

"_WHAT?!"_

"CHANGE IT NOW CHANGE IT NOW"

Blake broke into a fit of laughter as Weiss and Yang scrambled to move the chapter along.

"Oh, the fact that you guys ignored just about every other plot point because the author paired you two together's hilarious..."

...

_Tankery_

Now, it was Blake's turn to scowl. "I still can't believe Neptune suckered me into this..."  
"Well, you won, didn't you?" Weiss pointed out, but the catgirl merely shrugged.

"And? It wasn't satisfying. Those guys were newbies who clearly didn't know what they were doing and we were incapacitated by a stinking gremlin.

That's boring."

Ruby frowned. "Why do you hate Tankery so much?"  
"I just _do_. It's like you hate lessons and Weiss hates perverts." The catgirl shrugged. "I just don't like it."

"Still, you did a bang-up job there, owning their team. Miho thought they stood a chance..."

Weiss closed her eyes, irritated. "I still can't believe Faust loaned them a _possessed _tank..."

...

_The Recappening_

"...wait. Wait." Weiss held up a finger.

"I'm bored...I...wait, this was what we were doing half an hour ago!" The heiress complained. _"What?!_"

Yang hurried to move the chapter to the previous page, causing Weiss to snap at her.

"XIAO LONG! I WAS READING THAT!"  
"This is for the good of the universe!" The brawler declared.

Blake sighed in relief. "Alright, alright. Fourth wall mind screw averted...so, who wants to leave a review?"

* * *

From: **NightshadeNinjacatOfGiha**

...exquisite. Needs more manliness.

AND I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME LOSE SO MUCH

-Blake B.

* * *

Weiss sighed, resting her head back on her chair. Ruby looked over at her.

"Huh? What's wrong?

"I'm still bored." The heiress complained. Yang and Blake facepalmed.

Needless to say, it was an uneventful day in Beacon.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: That was **_**incredibly**_** long, but it's over now. Next chapter, ****Cards Against Remnant,**** courtesy of ****RexHeller****!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, thoughts, reviews, criticisms and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	78. Special Chapter: Cards Against Remnant!

**Weiss Reacts to Cards Against Remnant!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! And boy will this be interesting. Cards Against Huma-I mean, Remnant being what it is, Weiss is **_**obviously**_** going to **_**love**_ **this. A huge thanks to ****RexHeller**** for letting us do Cards Against Remnant, and...having skimmed through it, I have now spontaneously decided that ****RexHeller**** is my new sempai. *goes off to start stalking him/her because SEMPAI***

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a canonical equivalent to Cards against Humanity.**

**Cards Against Remnant belongs to ****RexHeller. ****Warning for mature humour which we will try to censor as this fic's rating is T and we'd prefer it **_**stay**_** T.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"20 Ancient Enraged Plutonium Dragons." Yang declared, grinning. Weiss banged the desk angrily with her fist, scowling.

"Again?!" Weiss screamed, slamming her cards down. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THAT'S THE FIFTH TIME YOU'VE DONE THAT TO ME! I'VE HAD TO REROLL MY CHARACTER THREE TIMES!"  
"Well, then quit being such an easy target!" Yang retorted. "So, since your level one elf CLEARLY can't outroll this horde of mighty dragons, even IF you got help from Rubes and Blakey, and you're stickied, you die."

"Munchkin is stupid." The heiress declared, giving up. "Yang's stupid."  
"And I kick down the door, get a potted plant and win the game because none of you can intervene." Yang declared proudly, placing her cards down. "I guess I win the fifth game of Munchkin in a row, eh?"  
"ONLY BECAUSE YOU DRAGGED OUT THE STUPID BUFFS EVERY SINGLE TIME I FOUGHT A MONSTER!" The heiress retorted irritably. "COME ON, YANG!"

"Be grateful I didn't decide to call over Chiaki to own you." Yang pointed out, giggling. The heiress sighed, trembling with anger.

"Must you use overpowered tactics in every game to beat me?!"

"Weiss, if you didn't rage so much when I did, they wouldn't be so much fun to use on you~" The brawler retorted. "Seriously, it's just a game and you nearly flipped the table."  
"Ggh...y-you idiot..." Weiss seethed. Ruby frowned, patting her back.

"Come on, Weiss, calm down. It's literally just a game." The reaper reminded her. Weiss sighed, sinking into Ruby's side.

"I know...but Yang just plain _insists_ on trolling me..."  
"You know, one day, you're going to go too far." Blake reminded her. "You're going to do that _one_ antic that basically gets everyone to yell at you and then you might actually get a clue."  
"Oh, relax." The brawler scoffed. "I'm not _that_ nasty. I have my moments."

Weiss leered at her. "If you have your _moments,_ I seem to be failing to remember any of them."

"Oh, _veeeerry _funny, Weiss."

Blake sighed, packing up the Munchkin cards and pieces. "Well, we clearly can't play this, because Weiss is probably going to literally _flip_ the table if she loses one more character to a monster encounter.

Anyone have any ideas? I'm not spending the whole afternoon doing nothing."  
"One of our fans sent me a suggestion." Yang pointed out helpfully. "For a fanfic, I mean. You guys ever heard of Cards Against Humanity?"  
Blake stared at her, trying to hold in a giggle, while Ruby's eyes lit up in recognition. Weiss, on the other hand, stared at Yang in confusion.

"Cards Against Humanity? That...already sounds stupid." The heiress' eyes narrowed. "In fact, it sounds like shenanigans beyond mortal comprehension. What is it?"

"Possibly the _funniest_ board game ever." Blake explained. "And possibly the most politically incorrect one, too."  
"Politically incorrect?" Weiss repeated, her eyelid twitching. "...this already sounds _incredibly_ stupid."  
"It is. That's why it's hilarious!" Yang declared. "Come on, have a sense of imagination! We'll play it sometime- or when Elf actually gets off his backside and grabs some free cards for it.

Basically, some guy wrote a fanfic about us playing it."

Weiss blanched. "So, a fanfic about us playing the stupidest, most bigoted game short of a game made by actual bigots known to man.

I am _sorely _tempted to call you an _idiot_ if you think I'm going to waste my time reading that. Probably written by some sort of obsessed pervert anyway..." The heiress muttered, crossing her arms.

Ruby frowned. "Well, you don't want to play Munchkin, so it's that or doing nothing for the rest of the afternoon."  
The heiress mentally weighed her options, grumbling irritably. "Ggh...fine, fine. I'll read this stupid shenanigan-filled fic, but _only_ because I have nothing else to do.

I swear, I should get _paid_ to read the fanfics our supposed _fans_ come up with..."

"Hey, at least you get to _live_ in half the fics we read." Yang pointed out. "And Rubes always gets an eye or a limb blown off or something.

Cool for drawings but _come on_, could you at LEAST _not_ blow her legs off? They're running out of body parts to blow off of her. They'll probably blow off the tip of her earlobe next or something..."

Meanwhile, Blake stood up, covering the box of Munchkin cards and placing it underneath the table. "Well, you guys get the usual set-up ready. This'll mark the _second_ afternoon in a row we've done nothing but read fanfic."  
"Eventually we'll do something fun..." Yang reassured her. "Buuuuut for now, I'll get the munchies, Rubes gets the drinks, and Weiss gets the table and computer ready!

Fanfic reading marathon, away!"

Ruby cheered happily. "WOO!"

Weiss, on the other hand, had an expression that literally could not express more displeasure with the current choice of activity. She grumbled as she shoved her chair over to her desk to boot up the computer, sighing.

'_I bet __**anything **__this fic is going to be full of moronic antics and perverts, I can just feel it in my bones...' _The heiress predicted, muttering under her breath.

* * *

_Minutes later..._

All of team RWBY was now gathered in their usual spots around Weiss' computer, with a stack of assorted snacks for all four girls, along with several cans of energy drink and one mug of hot chocolate for Weiss.

_Chapter 1_

"Yang? Bored? _That_ would probably result in a _far_ worse disaster than simply _playing _a crappy board game." Weiss remarked. "It would probably result in someone's underwear being stolen or someone's plushies blowing up or something _stupid_ like that..."

Yang frowned. "Oh, have some faith in me. You know I'm not always behind _every_ single antic that goes on-oh, who am I kidding.

PfffhHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...and a mysterious person gives us these...Cards Against Remnant. I have a feeling that moron's probably part of the Antic Order." Weiss muttered irritably. "This already reeks of stupid."

Blake shrugged. "Well, knowing they have offices in three different universes al-"  
"BLAKE, I WAS NOT BEING LITERAL. DON'T ACT LIKE ELSA."

"Where IS Elsa, anyway?" Yang inquired about Weiss' cloned sister. The heiress closed her eyes, trying to remember exactly where she was.

"From what I remember, she's currently being taught by Winter how to serve tea in a proper tea serving ceremony or something."

Ruby tilted her head. "Hm...this can't end well, if Nora's involved."  
"Alright. I'm a moron for not walking out the moment Nora was even _hinted_ to be getting involved..."Weiss muttered. "Nothing with Nora in it can _ever_ end well.

EVER."  
"What about-"  
"EVER!" Weiss interjected. "No exceptions. Ever."

...

_Chapter 2_

"My pampered..." Weiss paused, before glaring at the monitor. "...how _dare_ he imply that I would use such _improper _language? And this game is based on this kind of humour?

How _low-brow_!"

Yang sighed, resting her head on the palms of her hands. "Live a little, Weiss. You really are a shut-in."

"I'm not surprised you like this game. It seems _exactly_ the kind of game perverted morons like you play..."

Blake calmly sipped her can of Blue Cow energy drink, trying not to giggle too hard. "...oh, everyone trying to play this game are just a bunch of lightweights..."  
"Surprise se-" Weiss stopped, before growling. "...perverts. PERVERTS! _PERVERTS_!"  
Yang giggled. "I dunno, if Blake jumped _me_ in the middle of the corridor, I'd be perfectly fine with it."  
"Y-Yang!" The catgirl snapped, blushing. "D-don't just say that1"

"My father always taught me to be two things. A pervert, and an honest pervert!" The brawler declared proudly.

Ruby giggled at Jaune's wisecracks. "Wow, he's firing those off like there's no tomorrow. What's with him?"

"Probably would be _our_ Jaune if he wasn't busy being simultaneously the unluckiest and luckiest teenage boy in the whole multiverse." Yang noted. "He's got plenty reason to be salty."  
"Sausage festival..." By this point, Weiss was all but frothing at the mouth. "...perverts...all perverts..."

Ruby poked Weiss' cheek concernedly. "Weiss? Weeeeeiss? Is everything alright?"  
"She's got a pervert overload." Blake explained. "Probably shorted out something in her brain circuits."  
"Stupid perverts...all of you stupid perverts..."

"Getting laid by having giant robots..." Yang looked thoughtful. "Well, it worked for Sousuke and Ichika...

Maybe my waifu rating will increase and beat Winter's if I learn how to pilot a non-Gurren Lagann mecha..."

"Ten rounds of nothing but perverts..." Weiss uttered, horror creeping into her voice. "And dealing with everyone...

G-get me out of here, I don't want to read this fic. I _don't_ want to read this fic!" The heiress declared, trying to leave her chair. She had walked almost halfway across the dorm when-

"SCREEEEE" A loud, inhuman screech issued from just behind the door, along with the squirming sounds of what sounded like tentacles slapping against the door.

"H-help!"

"Miss Honda! Crap. Someone grab Tukson before this thing does _anything_ weird!"  
"Step back from that!" The voice sounded like Beth, the caretaker's, and was itself followed by the cocking of a shotgun. "Get the librarian. I'll handle this thing myself.

Come on, Gretchen, why can't you ever summon one of these things with an off-switch?!"

Weiss slowly crept back to her chair, trembling.

"O-On second thought..." The heiress slumped back into her chair. "I'll...stay here."

Yang pumped her fist triumphantly. "Once again, Professor Faust, you saved the day."

...

_Chapter 3_

"Five rounds more of this." Weiss groaned in exasperation. "FIVE more rounds-

Stealing my sisters...underwear?" The heiress started twitching dangerously frequently.

Ruby hugged her tightly- partially because it was Ruby and partially to prevent her girlfriend from murdering the monitor.  
"Hehehe...Weiss, no need to get mad, it's just a story..."  
"F-fetish cafes..."

Yang spat out the energy drink in her mouth- thankfully out of the window- and began laughing, wiping her mouth.

"PffHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Yes! GENIUS! AHAHA!"

Weiss, meanwhile, squirmed in the reaper's arms. "DUMB PERVERTS! WHO WOULD COME UP WITH SUCH A STUPIDLY PERVERTED CONCEPT?!"

"You ever been to Japan?" Blake inquired, raising her eyebrow. "Hell, have you been down to _Vale_?"  
"I THOUGHT THOSE WERE JOKES! NOT ACTUAL THINGS!

AND OF COURSE PYRRHA OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD WORK IN THEM!" The heiress roared, irritated. "GAH! PERVERTS! EVERYBODY, INDECENT PERV-"  
"Sharkie-chan." Blake called out flatly, before she lobbed Weiss' beloved plushie at her. The heiress immediately relaxed, her angry expression turning to one of sheer joy.

"Sharkie-chaaaaan!" Weiss squealed happily, hugging the stuffed shark's face against hers. "Oooooh! I've missed you soooo much~"

Ruby twitched. "Gah...I...whaaaaa?"

"Works every time." The catgirl grinned, sharing a fistbump with Yang. "I've yet to see one time where Sharkie-chan fails to make Weiss chill out."

"I think this story might just about do it..." Ruby mused, still looking scornfully at the shark plushie being currently rubbed into her girlfriend's cheek.

"Smell of nubil-pfffhaha!" Yang giggled at the cards everyone drew. "Good Dust, Ren, you are one _screwed up_ guy.

And I dunno about Pyrrha, but _I'd_ totally read Jaune/Ren yaoi~"  
Blake blushed briefly, looking away. "D-do you mind?"  
"Don't get jealous, kitten~"

"I'm not! B-but do you mind keeping that to yourself?"

The brawler rolled her eyes. "Softie. And I'm pretty sure Ren has...a _little_ interest in boys. Just a little.

I mean, the guy's mind is so screwed up with antics that I don't know what he is except 'Norasexual', but..."

"I...did NOT need to know." Blake cringed, before continuing to read. "OH GOOD DUST!"

Yang read the sentence ending she'd gotten, before bursting out into a hearty round of laughter.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"GOOD DUST! YANG!"  
"That was _genius_! Absolutely GENIUS! I _love _it! I don't think there'd ever _be_ a fifty-five gallon tube of _that_, but that's _genius_!"

Weiss, now recovered from her proximity-induced cuteness fugue, had rejoined the group to read the fic.

"This...is about as bad as that one stupid fic about Nora that the moron sent to me once..." The heiress uttered angrily. "...Fisting? FISTING?!"  
"Ahhhh _crap_." Blake sighed, reaching for the plushie. "This is just going to keep happening again and again, isn't it?"

"GRAHAHHHHHHH! AND THEY MENTIONED TINY-GRAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"

Needless to say, the girls were forced to interrupt their reading as Weiss had to be restrained from destroying her own computer out or barely-veiled denial- after all, she totally had a perfectly adequate chest- and sheer anger at how perverted the story currently was.

* * *

_Chapter 4_

Yang pumped her fist. "Yeaaaaah! I get fanservice! At least I'm the sexiest person in the room _somewhere_!

You better take notes, Elf! I want to be as sexy as that!"

"Tch. Cannibalism...how disgusting." The heiress looked appropriately irritated. "How uncouth and uncivilized...

And elf..." Weiss blushed profusely, her face twisting into an expression of utter embarrassed rage. "WHAT?! WHAAAAT?! The ONLY reason I know what that word _means_ is because Yang TAUGHT it to me!"  
Yang smirked. "I'm just a font of sacred knowledge, dear."

"GRAH! EVEN PYRRHA'S A PERVERT!" The heiress roared. "WHY?!"

Blake nodded slowly. "Alright, nothing too bad, except for defenestration...from a moving car?"  
Yang shrugged. "It's happened."

"Weiss couldn't throw _Vivi_ out of a window while driving."  
"Shut up." The heiress snapped at Blake.

"Hot jail-bait? Alright, so me." Yang declared. "So I hooked Ruby up with Weiss! Sounds about right."  
"In your dreams. We got together of our own volition!" Weiss retorted.

"Only because I advised you join the music competition!"  
"You did no such thing!"  
"Yes I did!"  
"All you did was prank me and lock me in closets with Ruby in the hope that I'd KISS her, you stupid deviant!

And me, hug you? You would CRUSH me, you yellow beast!"  
"Because you're nothing but a twig, miss bossyboots." Yang retorted. "Besides, I actually ate my meat and vegetables, unlike you.

The difference is pretty clear here- you're an ironing board, I'm a mountain range~"  
"I-Ironing board?!" The heiress cried, glaring at her. "Why you..."

Blake facepalmed. "Tentacles? Seriously, Yang? Seriously?"

"What? It makes sense, even if it _is_ disgusting."

"...no."

Yang rubbed her chin. "Huh. You know, there would be soooo _many _Boku no Pico jokes about that anime card if we did that...

By the way, those of you reading at home, _please_ don't look that up. You're seriously better off spending your time looking up TvTropes or something, but it's not Elf-sama's fault if you did look it up."  
Weiss stared at her. "Just _who_ are you even _talking_ to?"  
"Our more impressionable readers."  
The heiress sighed, shaking her head. "Delusional..."

...

_Chapter 5_

"Waterboarding." Weiss rolled her eyes. "Is it sad that I'm not even _shocked_ that this game would use that as an answer?"

"Horny catgirls? Alright, didn't know we were in a generic pervy harem anime." Yang remarked drily. Blake huffed, crossing her arms.

"Hmph. Amateurs. Catgirls are badass. Who _needs_ fanservice anyway?"

"My fan club!" Yang retorted, smirking. Weiss looked up.

"What fan club? Did you mean Winter's?", she quipped. Yang clenched her fists.

"I told you, it's not _fair_ that Winter has her own fanclub and I barely have a fan _group_, let alone a _club_!"

Ruby pouted. "I'm not jailbait! I'm too _cute_ to be jailbait! I'm the kind of cute you want to protect and cuddle, not...do horribly indecent things with!"  
"True, true." Yang nodded in agreement. "It'd be pretty weird for anyone _not_ Weiss to do things with you.

And if she wants to do things with you, then she'd better ask permission because_ no._"

"Shotgun legs?" Ruby's eyes started sparkling.

Weiss administered a slap to her head. "NO."  
"But-" The reaper whimpered. Weiss looked sternly at her.

"NO."  
"B-but-"  
"You complain about people cutting your limbs off in fanfics, you don't get to get _shotgun legs._"

Yang stared at the screen, clearly about to explode into laughter.

"During...pff...pffhh...PFFHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now THAT's the best black card yet! Best one!"  
Weiss' head whipped around to stare at the screen herself, before-

"...GRAAAAAHHHHH PERVERTS PERVERTS PERVERTS"

...

_Chapter 6_

"At least Jaune had the good sense to get out and not be a pervert UNLIKE MYSELF." Weiss declared irritably. "How uncouth..."

"Wait, wait, why is Pyrrha hiding being bisexual again? Not that I believe her." Yang stated, disbelieving.

"If Pyrrha is anything but Jaunesexual, I'll stop teasing Weiss about having an A-cup."  
"SHUT UP!" The heiress screeched.

Blake tilted her head. "Huh, so exactly like the Reactsverse. Everyone except Cardin and Melanie is bi."

"You're forgetting Robin and Lucina." The brawler reminded her.  
"That's a completely different fic, Yang."

Ruby tilted her head. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing, and WHAT SERIOUSLY?" Blake's eyes almost bulged from her eyes reading about her seducing Sun.

She started blushing profusely, trembling and shivering. "I...oh...um..."

Yang merely licked her lips. "If Sun doesn't want that Bellabooty, I'll take it-oowwwwww Weeeeisss!"

As the brawler rubbed her stomach, groaning, the heiress rubbed her fist.

"Tch. Pervert." The heiress resumed reading the fic, before-

"Killed me at fifty-five with...GRHHHHHHHHHHH"

Weiss started frothing at the mouth, trembling. "I...I...I..."  
"Blake, change the chapter! Quickly!" Yang cried desperately as she pinned Weiss to the floor with her weight. "She might actually end up _breaking _the computer!"  
"PERVERTS! STUPID, INDECENT DEVIANT PERVERTS!" The heiress shrieked from underneath Yang. Ruby also joined Yang's efforts to prevent the computer from being utterly annihilated.

Blake hurriedly complied.

...

_Chapter 7_

"MMMPPPPHHH" Weiss, to prevent property damage- and possible loss of life- had by this point been tied up and gagged, plopped in a chair in the corner to prevent her from doing anything out of sheer righteous rage.

Yang sighed in relief. "Alright, we're safe. We can read this fic in peace. Weiss isn't going to blow this computer to pieces.

Also...homoerotic volleyball montage? Someone get on making the RWBY version of that now please."  
"What the...who would find edible underwear _sexy_?" Blake stared, dumbfounded, at the monitor. "Apart from Yang."  
"Guilty as charged."

"THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT!"

Ruby shivered. "Why is everything so perverted in this game again?"  
"It's hilarious. If a bit offensive." The brawler admitted. "And _incredibly_ dirty-minded."

"Mmmmpfh..." Weiss glared at the screen as she saw her name on the screen.

"I wonder what they'll get for 'Weiss Schnee singing'." Yang giggled, taunting the bound heiress. "Fing-oh, seriously? Hahaha!"  
"Rrrrghhhh..." The heiress struggled in her bindings, her expression slowly warping into one of murderous intent.

Blake rolled her eyes. "Oh, wow. Jaune, you dirty-minded pervert. For once, we see Jaune perving on someone instead of the other way around...

And freaking Ironwood making Penny chicken soup?!"

"Alright, screw all the dirty humour! _That_ is the single funniest thing I've read in this story!" Yang started giggling. "Good Dust..."

"Throwing virgins into volcanoes?" Ruby frowned. "That just sounds like one of those crappy B-movies you love watching, Yang."  
"Mason jars...PFFHHHHAAHAA!" The brawler fell off her chair, giggling and laughing maniacally. "HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!"

"_I'm...free._"

Suddenly, the other members of team RWBY heard the sound of ropes snapping behind them, as Weiss rose from the chair she had been imprisoned into, a seemingly murderous aura surrounding her.

"Y-you...I will...execute...perverts..."

With unparalleled speed, the heiress rushed towards the computer, bowling Yang over and only being stopped by Blake, who struggled.

"Q-quickly! Ruby!" The catgirl cried, looking over to the reaper. "Throw the shark plushie at-"  
"T-that won't work. I will...kill...rip..._tear..._" The heiress growled angrily, struggling against the girls.

Blake and Yang nodded to each other.

"Ruby, you write the review, we'll make sure Weiss doesn't hunt this guy down!"

"R-right!"

* * *

From: **DaLittleRougeFightingHood**

omd so hilarious i loved it, yang did too

its amziang

just watch otu for wiess

i think she wnats to kil u

-ruby

* * *

"Let me go..." Weiss seethed. "I'm going to execute this perverted deviant of an author personally! LET ME GO!"

Yang's maniacal laughter filled the dorm that afternoon.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well, a big shout-out to that big desk, ****RexHeller****, for letting us do his fic. And a light-hearted jab, don't worry; you just need to fix up your spelling.**

**So, next chapter...Yang Reacts to Karmic Trickery!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and comments, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	79. Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, for a long time, I've had a lot of people tell me how Yang's always gotten away with pranks and crap, and it's grating on people's nerves. Believe me when I say this, I've thought that for a very long time too.**

**So, my young squiggles, this is my answer. Hope you enjoy the chappie~**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a pig Faunus based off Journey of the West. **

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

It was a typical weekend morning in Beacon Academy-a perfectly regular, ordinary weekend morning.

"XIAO LONG! YOU PERVERTED MORON!"

"Teeheehee~"

That was, if one considered 'dealing with your hideously busty and sexiness-obsessed roommate as a normal morning.

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, glaring at Yang. "What are you _doing_? More to the point, why are you _dressed_ like that?!"

Yang giggled, looking down at her _incredibly_ tight-fitting leather suit- replete with the zipper just open enough to give anyone perfect view of her cleavage.

"Oh, this? I'm just...going out, is all~"  
"You're going to try to reclaim that stupid sexiness thing from Winter, aren't you?" The heiress inquired accusingly. "Can you not let _that_ go?!"

The brawler crossed her arms, pouting. "Come on! I've been trying to win it back for _months_ and I still haven't done it! You know how it feels having my rightful throne be stolen away?!"  
"It wasn't your rightful throne to begin with! Who _cares_ about being the sexiest?!" Weiss yelled. "Must you _always_ go over the top like a complete _dunce_?!"

Blake and Ruby watched the argument, sharing a bowl of dry cereal- the nation's favourite brand, Schnee Frostflakes- slowly.

"Will they ever quit that?" Ruby wondered, looking to Blake. The catgirl shrugged.

"I dunno. I mean, they've been at it ever since they started here. We're almost in our last year and they still haven't stopped." Blake admitted, sighing. "In Weiss' defence, though, Yang _has_ been getting a little...douchey...lately."  
Ruby nodded in assent. "Yeah, I noticed that too. All she seems to care about is being sexy and antics and stuff.

I mean, she cared about that before, but she used to be a pretty cool sister. I miss that." The reaper admitted, frowning.

Yang huffed. "You could never appreciate antics, Weiss."  
"Your antics were _always_ annoying!" Weiss snapped in retaliation, glaring at her. "At least you had some _substance_ to them! Now all you do is care about your sexiness and pull stupid pranks!"

The brawler gasped, stepping back from Weiss. "T-take that back! My pranks are _amazing_!"

"Oh, you blew up Miss Honda's pancake batter _again_. Well done, now she's covered in batter. Nobody saw it." The heiress rolled her eyes, sighing. "That made _so_ many people laugh, Yang. _SO MANY_!"  
"...y-you wouldn't know a quality antic if it hit you in the _face_! And speaking of which..."

A custard pie sailed in from a panel in the wall to hit Weiss, caking her in bits of pastry and sticky filling. The heiress seethed, glaring at her.

"...y-you...you know what?!" Weiss slowly raised a shaking finger at Yang, glaring at her. "...one day, you _will_ get your comeuppance.

One day."

Yang stuck her tongue out in response. "Yeah, not likely.

Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to go see if I can take one of Blake's prototypes for a spin!"

She ran out of the room eagerly, with Blake standing up, shaking her head.

"I've told her once, I told her again, the Megadeus is _not ready_! Good Dust..." The catgirl sighed, before grabbing a towel and tossing it over to Weiss. "Here, get yourself cleaned up. I'll try and stop her from blowing everything up."

Blake strolled out of the room, leaving a furious Weiss and Ruby. Ruby looked concernedly at Weiss.

"...hey, you need to...calm down a little." The reaper pleaded, giving Weiss a plaintive look. The heiress stared over at her, before closing her eyes and sighing.  
"...you know...I'll be back. I'll take a walk, maybe get myself some sorbet." Weiss exhaled deeply, before strolling over to the cabinet and slipping on a jacket and walking out of the room, heading around the nearest corner...

Just before a sack descended around her head. Weiss flailed out at whoever was doing this, reaching for Myrtenaster before realising she had left it in the dorm.

"U-Unhand me! PERVERT! LET ME GO!" The heiress shrieked as her unknown captor dragged her away.

* * *

_Minutes later..._

The sack was removed from Weiss' head, as she flailed out at whoever was taking the sack off of her, glaring at her surroundings.

"Let me go you...wait, what?" The heiress stopped, realising exactly where she was.

She was standing in a large, circular room, lit only by torches and an elaborate golden chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The floor was paved in golden brick, with the Antic Order logo embossed onto the large floor and dominating the whole room.

In front of her was a massive round table, with Nora, Cinder, Velvet and Vivi dotted around it. At the opposite end to Weiss was Ren, dressed in deep viridian robes with golden trim and a massive tome in his hands, reading from it. Nora hissed at Weiss.

"Sssssh! Be quiet! The Antic Grandmaster is reading out today's agenda." The berserker warned, as Weiss crossed her arms, looking away irritably.

'_So...this is what I was dragged away to. Good Dust.'_ The heiress pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I can't believe you dunces kidnapped me to drag me to your stupid Antic Order meeting..." The heiress seethed irritably. Nora shrugged.

"It's for a good cause! Be quiet!"

Weiss glared at her indignantly, but agreed to silence herself.

'_...tch. I don't know the way out of here. I'll just have to...figure out why these morons brought me here...'_

Ren closed his eyes, reading the tome. He cleared his throat.

"Today, we come together for an emergency meeting regarding one of our members." The gunslinger explained. "We come to discuss the fate of Antic Master Xiao Long, in regards to her recent actions.

Of late, her antics have become unguided, and have lost sight of their true aim. Once upon a time, her antics were useful for the purpose of pairing others together, but not anymore. Now, they are done without regard to her companions- rather than done to teach them a much-needed lesson, or to make others laugh, she has followed the path of the accursed Fourth Wall Breaker Pinkamena- antics with no consideration for those around her."

'_These morons have__** goals**__ for their antics? And they __**care**__ who they prank?!'_ Weiss stared at them in disbelief. _'Good Dust, this is __**news**__ to me.'_

"Her antics are done not even for the love of the art, or as means to the end of furthering romance, or to seek retribution upon those judged guilty by the Great Balance, but simply for cheap entertainment." Ren sounded almost disappointed as he spoke.

"Our superiors, the Wizard Marshall Schweinorg, the Great Goddess O-Suzumiya-sama, and the True Antic Lord Okazaki have declared such abuse of power to be utterly _unacceptable_.

To this, there is but one answer. Master Xiao Long must be subjected to an antic to remind her of her true place in the world's balance."

"Hear hear!" Nora chanted, surprisingly calmly. "Hear the Grandmaster's proposal!"

"I therefore move to begin planning for an antic that will shepherd Master Xiao Long back to the true Antic Path. Who shall carry this motion?" Ren looked to his fellow members.

"Motion seconded." Nora responded solemnly, raising her own hand.

Velvet raised her hand, nodding in assent. "Motion carried."  
"Pipipi!" Vivi waved from her position on Velvet's head, jumping up and down.

"Agreed." Cinder raised her hand, smiling mischievously.

Ren closed his eyes, motioning everyone to put their hands down with a sweeping grand motion with his arms. "The Order chooses to carry this motion. Heretofore, from this moment forth, Master Xiao Long is to be treated as fair game for any and all antics.

Now, we must initiate planning. Today, we have a guest, the most honorable Miss Weiss Schnee, to aid us in our planning."

* * *

Weiss rolled her eyes, crossing her arms, in disbelief at the speech. "Just quit this facade of being refined and get to it! Why did you people drag me down here? I was busy working on something _far_ more important than having to sit through you plotting to prank Yang!"

Cinder frowned at her. "Now, Weiss, we have _procedure_ in this Order. We don't just skip the frills here.

We have _class_, unlike _some_ people."

"Point is, the fans are starting to get a little mad that Yang's getting away with all her antics." Ren pointed out, frowning as he did. "O-Elf-sama's even gotten yelled at by a bunch of people over it. It's not ideal for readership, considering that's the only reason we even exist."  
"As usual, you people are talking _complete_ nonsense." Weiss muttered irritably. "Just get to the point. Why am I here?"

"You're the only teammate of Yang's we can trust to not say a thing to her." Cinder pointed out. "Blake would definitely blab it, and Ruby, although she's pretty trustworthy...just give the girl some cookies and she'll talk more than Nora on a sugar rush."

Weiss stared at Cinder, surprised at her surprisingly logical approach. "...you actually thought this through. Good Dust."

Nora interjected energetically. "Point is, Yang's been a _baaaaad_ girl.

The Sloth God demands she must be punished for great justice!"

Weiss sighed, looking between everyone. "You're all insane. _All_ of you are insane. Why would you morons recruit _me_ to help you with your stupid antics? You know I _want_ to end your antics, right?

I even got involved in your stupid war just to try and end your antics, and even _then_ that backfired!"

Ren chuckled, crossing his arms. "It's really simple. You're Yang's biggest target. According to Antic Law, you are the only person qualified to retaliate against Yang."

Velvet giggled insanely. "Y-yes...Weiss-sempai is the only one allowed to...hee hee..."

"Antic Law." The heiress scoffed. "You people make me laugh. It's impossible to provide _Law_ to _utter chaos._

I'm somewhat confused about what you intend me to do to Xiao Long. Why do you want me to do this again?"  
"We just _explained it to you._ Yang needs to be taken down a peg." Ren explained, rubbing his temples. "Her antics are getting harder and harder for me to clean up after, and they're become far less sophisticated and well-done.

Look, if we don't rein her in, we'll get a _worse_ prankster in to show us how to properly prank people. And as much as you hate Yang's antics, you _really_ don't want our superiors to come in and prank everyone, which _will_ happen if we don't rein her in.

We may be enemies, but as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and Xiao Long's our current enemy. We can't risk moving against Yang ourselves, lest she figure us out. But you're the perfect revenge agent; you have the motive, she'll never suspect you, and you'll have our full support."

Weiss breathed heavily, looking at Ren irritably. "...you...give a convincing argument. I've been _waiting_ for a chance to show that pervert a piece of my mind...but you are all _equally_...grah."

'_To think that my chance to finally avenge myself would come at the hands of my worst enemies...'_ The heiress looked down, considering her options. _'...but if I reject this...I may never get such a chance again!_

_...dammit. I will __**never**__ forgive myself for this...I've betrayed my own principles, I know it. If I was one of those samurai Raven Branwen so idolises, I would likely be forced to kill myself, such is how I've breached my own principles...'_

"...Fine, I'll work with you." Weiss nodded slowly, glaring at Ren. "But...understand this. Understand this _perfectly_.

I am only working with you _because_ I get the chance to finally get back at Yang, got it? I don't want any part of your antics, I don't want any part of your shipping. This is the _one_ time I want to be involved in your moronic pervert acts! Understood?"

The gunslinger smiled enigmatically, before extending his hand. "Then let's shake on it."

Nora cheered. "Wooooo! We can finally tick off the 'Enemy Mine' box we've been waiting to fill for such a long time!"

Weiss reluctantly shook his hand, agreeing to help him out.

"I hate you so much for this, Ren, just to let you know." The heiress glared at him.

"Oh, I know you do. That's the fun of it! Now, Nora, show her the antic kit."

"Aye aye!" The berserker saluted, before whipping out a large briefcase with the Antic Order logo embossed upon it, passing it over to Ren, who presented it to Weiss.

"This here is everything you'll ever need to prank Yang. Everything."

The heiress took the briefcase, weighing it in her hands and studying it curiously. "...funny. I would have thought this was heavier."  
"We have to travel light." Ren admitted wearily. "It's not ideal for set-up. But, at least we're ready for anything.

Now, Weiss, you really _should _get going. The day's running out, and if you're gone for too long, Ruby might suspect something. Also, Velvet's starting to get a little restless."  
The bunnygirl stared lustfully at her object of lust, drooling a little. "Weiss-sempai...oh my..."

Weiss shuddered, shaking her head. "Just...show me the way out, alright?"  
"To your left, up the ramp and onto the corridor." The gunslinger directed.

"Dustspeed, Weiss. You're about to prank the greatest prankster since myself in the history of Beacon."

The heiress closed her eyes, exasperated and surprised at her situation.

'_To think I'd be working with the Antic Order to get back at Yang...' _Weiss mused. _'My life truly is strange if I have to cooperate with such undesirably strange bedfellows._

_The only thing left to consider...is...how do I prank the likes of Yang Xiao Long?'_

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Yes, this is going to be a two-parter, mainly because it's a lot harder to keep up big single chapters in this exam time. My hardest exams are coming up, too, which makes me cry. At least Weiss is finally getting ready to get her own back- which surely has to count for something, right?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, suggestions, criticisms, reviews, thoughts, comments and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	80. Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Karmic Trickery, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, a great tragedy has befallen the Reactsverse, one which puts a damper in the mood. The Games We Play...**_**gasp**_**...has beaten Weiss Reacts Volume One for having the most reviews in the archive. To this, I must declare my eternal shame at my own fics. SHAAAAAME. **

**Alright, I'm done now. You can have your karmic retribution now.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a reindeer Faunus. Because why not?  
All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_RWBY Dorm..._

Weiss carefully gazed out of the window, watching Yang scurry around the campus in her spy catsuit. She sighed in relief, wiping her brow.

"Good." The heiress rubbed her hands together eagerly. "I can plot without having that dunce interrupt me."

Carefully, the heiress laid out the briefcase she'd gotten from the Antic Order on her bed. She stared at it closely, grumbling.

"...time to see what accursed pieces of gear I've been outfitted with..." Weiss, closing her eyes and raising one of her arms to protect herself from any sort of rubber snake, custard pie or whatever the Antic Order had in store for her, opened the case slowly.

A moment passed. Then another. Then another. Nothing happened. The heiress opened her eyes, gazing at the contents at the case carefully.

"I was...expecting that to be more explosive." Weiss mused, sounding slightly disappointed. "They seriously must want Xiao Long taken down a notch..."

She examined closely what tools she had at her disposal for the purpose of avenging herself upon her teammate, taking stock of all her tools.

The suitcase contained several sachets of instant custard mix, along with flour, eggs and various other ingredients for pies, a pack of whoopee cushions- as expected- several cans of literal jumping beans, several ropes and strings, sheets of tarp designed to resemble any possible surface within Beacon's grounds, from wallpaper to linoleum floor to grass and what appeared to be a squid hat, with blue trailing tentacles poking out from underneath it.

There was also a sheet of paper enclosed- a form requisitioning various other antic materials, including and ranging from a Homura Beacon- "I don't even want to know what _that_ does"- to an outright pack to summon the Patron Goddess of Antics herself, O-Suzumiya-sama, to the service of her summoner for an hour and a half. Weiss shuddered at the thought of the idea of an Antic Goddess.

She looked dumbfounded at the sheer amount of tools she had at her disposal. "Good Dust."

She lifted the squid hat, examining it carefully. "And what kind of antic would this be used for? " Picking up an instruction sheet, she carefully read the usage instructions.

"Use to summon Sanae when in need of distraction. Who in the name of Dust is Sanae and why would she be obsessed with squids?" Weiss blinked, shaking her head and discarding the hat. "More to the point...tch. Nothing but typical antic materials to throw around.

You'd think they'd spare something more elaborate for the purposes of pranking another of their own-"

Suddenly, Weiss' phone rang, vibrating upon her desk. The heiress strolled over to pick it up, seeing the caller was 'Ren'.

"Hm? What does he want now?" The heiress mused, before answering. "Yes, Ren?"

"Heeeey, Weiss." The gunslinger called over the phone. "Listen, we thought you might be a little confused about how to throw an antic _properly._

One of our guys will be over shortly to aid you. We just needed to transport him here via armoured car for his own safety. Cheerio, got to be going now, I have all the antics in the world to be planning!"

Her phone beeped as Ren hung up. Weiss sighed, glancing irritably at the phone.

"Tch. I'll be, someone actually committed enough antics to anger Beacon's staff to warrant an armoured car." The heiress looked shocked. "...I wonder who they've sent?

Good Dust, I hope it's not that Tsumugi woman I heard they recruited- from the amount of times I caught her drooling over her teammates, she seems unsavoury... Or that Reflet Yang's always raving on about..." Weiss shuddered as she awaited her helper.

The doorbell rang. Weiss swallowed nervously, looking towards the door worriedly.

"Good Dust, this ought to be..." The heiress closed her eyes, looking at the doorknob worriedly. "...um...hm.

I have to open that door eventually...regardless of what's going to happen."

Weiss inhaled deeply, before closing her eyes and reaching for the door to open it. As it swung open, a shadow suddenly fell over her, as she looked up to see who had come.

Her eyes widened as she realised who it was.

"...y-you. No. You're not in the Antic Order. You're joking, right?!" The heiress stumbled back, staring up at the person who had been sent to help her.

He was unnaturally tall, taller than any human, Faunus or robot had any right to be. He was thin, too- thinner than any creature should logically be. His choice of clothes were a dapper black two-piece suit, with a red tie to compliment the whole ensemble. His skin was pale white, with his face featureless except for a pair of triangle shades.

He held up his phone, showing it to Weiss, who slowly read it.

_HI I'M SLEN D. MANN_

_ARE YOU WEISS SCHNEE_

The heiress nodded slowly, still staring at him. The man turned his phone back towards him, tapping on it quickly to write another message.

_I AM HERE TO HELP YOU_

_MY SERVICES HAVE BEEN CALLED UPON BY MASTER REN_

_I BELIEVE YOU ARE IN NEED OF A PRANK ADVISOR_

"...of course..." The heiress nodded slowly. "...I just...did not believe it'd be...a, err, gentleman like you.

Um...um...do you, err...work out?"  
_WHY YES I DO WORK OUT,_ Slen responded, patting his stick-like arm confidently. _I READ SOMEWHERE IN A BOOK THAT IT HELPS PEOPLE LIKE YOU MORE_

_I GET LONELY LIVING IN A CAVE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONELY IT IS_

Weiss blinked. _'...so...the Slender Man gets lonely. And has those accursed glasses. And is in the Order too._

_It's official. I think I've died and gone to Hell.'_

The abomination adjusted his tie, rolling his head to stretch it.

_WELL IT SEEMS YOU WILL NEED TO BE PRANKING A MASTER OF ANTICS_

_DO YOU HAVE A PLAN YET_

Weiss nodded eagerly. "Actually...Mr. Mann, was it? I do indeed have a plan by now. I think it _might_ just about work.

We are going to have to discuss it in some..._serious_ detail if we're going to implement it."

* * *

_Half an hour later, in the Beacon grounds..._

Yang giggled, watching her fanboys and fangirls accumulate. She was currently leaning on the side of her bike, the Bumblebee, posing dramatically.

"Ahh...it feels good to be loved again." Yang sighed happily, as several fanboys and fangirls gazed at her form, emphasised by the skintight leather clothes she was wearing. Some even had nosebleeds.

"Y-Yang-sempai! We love you! WE LOOOOVE YOU!"  
"HAVE MY BABIES!"

The brawler rubbed her cheeks, sighing happily. "This feels _amazing_, to have your fans _finally_ acknowledge you as the true Queen of Sexy~"

And rather suddenly, Yang's sexiness quotient took a rather large hit by the sheer fact that she was rather suddenly beset upon by custard-filled pastries. Which is to say; a ton of custard pies suddenly fell on her, caking her in filling and crumbs.

The brawler flinched, blinking briefly.

"What the-"

Suddenly, a rope seized around her leg, yanking her up into the air and underneath a tree upside down. Yang squealed in surprise, with the custard dripping down onto the ground, as she struggled on the rope.

"W-what the-" The brawler tried to struggle against the rope. "What's going on?! I-is this some sort of joke?!"

Several more pies hit her in the face repeatedly, followed by a barrage of eggs. Yang blinked rapidly.

"H-huh?!"

Before she could form any more coherent thoughts, however, the rope pulling her up into the tree tipped down into the ground and tossed her into a nearby dumpster, where she landed perfectly on a pair of whoopee cushions, which squished flat underneath her.

She flinched at the farting sound, before checking herself to see if she'd been hurt by the rather sudden prank.

"I..." The brawler looked down at herself. "...that was..._awesome_!"

She pumped her fist triumphantly, pulling herself up. "Yeaaaaah! That was-"

Then, a ton of custard sauce poured directly into her hair. The brawler cringed as she felt the cold sauce land on the back of her scalp, messing up her much vaunted hair.

Yang looked horrified as she slowly reached behind her head, feeling her hair slowly. The custard sauce had severely messed her hair up, sticking whole strands together, and destroying the absolutely _perfect _waves Yang had had them in earlier.

The brawler twitched.

"I..." She breathed heavily, trying to calm herself down. "My hair. My hair. _MY HAIR!_

_THAT'S IT! WHOEVER DID THIS TO ME IS DONE FOR!"_

Yang leapt out of the dumpster, her eyes completely red and an aura of killing intent emerging from her. She looked around hastily for anyone in the crowd who looked like who may have set the prank up.

"WHO! WHO MESSED UP MY HAIR?!" Yang roared, the custard dripping behind her. "I AM GOING TO END YOUR LIVES! MY HAIR! MY HAAAAAIR!"

"Oh, so now you know how it feels like to be me."

Yang whirled around, glaring at Weiss, who was leaning next to the dumpster she'd been dumped into, grinning. The brawler raised a shaking finger, pointing at Weiss.

"Y-you?! YOU DID THIS?!" Yang roared in disbelief, glaring murderously at the heiress. Weiss merely nodded affirmatively.

"Uhuh."  
"AND YOU AREN'T RUNNING?!"  
"Nope."  
Yang started shaking. "WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU-"  
"Oh, maybe because this is what you've been doing to me for the last three years?" The heiress pointed out snappily. "You know, caking me in custard, dragging me through dumpsters, so on and so forth?"  
"YOU CAKED MY HAIR IN CUSTARD"  
"And I've been bathed in custard in unspeakable places." Weiss retorted. "Really, Yang. How does it _feel_ to be on the other end of an antic?"  
"STUPID IDIOT YOU CAKED MY HAIR IN-"  
Weiss facepalmed. "Oh, don't you get it? This is what you do to me. Every day. You do something _incredibly stupid_, and then laugh at me.

I'll admit, once or twice a blue moon...it gives me a laugh. But you're going _too_ far with your antics." The heiress cried. "Seriously, all you do them for is to be a mean person. You don't do them to make anyone else laugh, and it hurts all our feelings. Especially mine.

So...I decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. Now, you get to be on the other end of an antic."

Yang breathed heavily, glaring at Weiss. "...look, this is..."

"Completely different? You're caked in custard, embarrassed, angry and you feel violated." The heiress completed for her. "So. How is this different to anything you've done to me lately?"

Yang tried to retort, but found she had no counterargument. She merely stared at Weiss in shock.

"...you're right." The brawler sighed, looking down at herself, caked in custard and eggshells. "...I...kinda lost track of myself, huh."  
"You did." Weiss nodded in agreement. The brawler frowned apologetically.

"I guess I...kinda overdid it, huh."  
"You did." The heiress nodded, breathing heavily herself. "Why do you think you're the target?"

"...and...as much as I...don't want to admit it...

That was a pretty good antic." The brawler admitted, laughing a little.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "I...had some help setting it all up."  
Yang smiled slightly. "...if you weren't so straitlaced, you'd be pretty good at antics."  
"I don't want anything to do with that perverted stuff. I just did this to teach you to _stop pranking people inconsiderately._

Look, I don't care what you do with your spare time. I don't care what kind of stupid antics you do. Just...quit doing them in such a way that it actually _hurts_ people."

Yang sighed, looking towards Weiss. "If you...were really hurt...I'm...I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to hurt anyone, alright?

I just wanted a little fun. If...it's hurting you guys, then I'll try to tone it down, okay? I'm sorry, I really am."

The heiress closed her eyes, shaking her head and smiling.

"...tch. Yang, as much as you're insufferable, I can't stay mad at you. All is forgiven.

For now."

Yang smiled briefly. "Glad to hear. I'll...do my best not to be too inconsiderate with the antics."

Then, her expression warped to one of sheer anger, with a psychotic smirk on her face. "You know you're still going to have to pay for my hair, though. Right?"

Weiss blanched, stepping back in fear.

"Uh-oh."

"Now...YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN, WEISS SCHNEE!" Yang lunged at her hungrily.

Needless to say, Weiss had the run of her life, escaping from the angered Yang.

_Meanwhile..._

Slen D. Mann calmly texted away on his phone.

_MISSION SUCCESS, MASTER REN_

He sent off the message, dusting his hands off. The abomination wiped his face of sweat, looking around to see Weiss being chased by a furious, disheveled Yang.

This meant, of course, the plan went off without a hitch. He felt proud of himself-

"...h-hello, M-Mister...M-Mann."

Slen froze. He knew that voice. Slowly, he turned around to face Gretchen Faust, who was staring dreamily at him, blushing heavily and waving at him.

"H-hello...s-so...I-I heard you...l-like...to dismember...people-"

He was gone before she could finish her abortive attempt at flirting; as manly as he was, there were just some things one did not stick around to see.

* * *

**END  
**

* * *

**A/N: A bit weak, in my opinion, but what's done is done. Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to The Games We Play, courtesy of ****Ryuugi,**** known here as ****rgm0005****, who is INCREDIBLY awesome! And props to ****D.C. Draco**** for making it all possible!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	81. Special Chapter: The Games We Play, Pt 1

**Jaune Reacts to The Games We Play, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, I must apologise for last chapter, as I don't feel Yang was punished sufficiently last time. She must be punished more. MOAR**

**Alright, onto the subject of this chapter! Firstly, a huge thanks to ****rgm0005, ****otherwise known as ****Ryuugi****, for letting us do his story, and ****D.C. Draco**** for acquiring his permission to do so! Now, let's get this somewhere important before the night ends, eh? For posterity, the version we're doing is the FF version, not the one on SpaceBattles, as I was specifically told to do that version.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise there would be a RWBY MMO already. **

**The Games We Play belongs to ****Ryuugi/rgm0005.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

It was a relatively normal afternoon in RWBY dorm. For once, Yang, as part of her rehabilitation from needlessly flanderized antics, had opted to take out Weiss for a nice shop around town as an apology for everything she did.

It wasn't the only thing she wanted to do, but it was a start, and appealed to the extravagant shopper that the heiress repressed under her typical facade of hyper-sanity. After barely half a minute of deliberation, the heiress and the brawler had disappeared onto a bus to Vale, leaving the dorm completely to Ruby- Blake had disappeared to work on something the moment Yang left, telling her to tell anyone who asked that she'd gone to work on Norn's chassis or something.

The reaper, of course, didn't ask any questions. It was just a thing you learned not to do in RWBY dorm anymore. Weiss had taught her that lesson fairly well.

Ruby was quietly browsing the Dustnet on the dorm's computer, lightly slapping at the keyboard, unable to think of anything to do.

"Ugh..." The reaper groaned. "Why does today have to be so _boring_? I'd spar, but the arena's shut down today because someone broke the sensors last time there was a fight there. I COULD go over to JNPR dorm, but I'm not sure I want to know what Nora's doing...

I mean, there's still trying to drag out Minako or something for fun, but-"

Suddenly, interrupting Ruby's train of thought, someone knocked at the dorm door. She jumped slightly, squeaking in surprise, before getting up to open the door.

"I wonder who'd be trying to get into the dorm at this time..." Ruby mused, checking the dorm's clock carefully before opening the door; it was a dishevelled Jaune, waving sheepishly at her. He sighed, frowning at the befuddled crimsonette.

"Heeeey, Ruby. Uh, something kinda came up at my dorm, and I have to stay here for a little while."

"Came up?" Ruby inquired, tilting her head. "What do you mean, came up?"

Ruby's question was interrupted by the squealing of what sounded like a horrified Melanie, followed by a roar that she could only describe as a sort of echoing, glopping noise.

"IT'S ONLY THE PANCAKE MAN! HE ONLY WANTS TO HUG YOU!" That was Nora, presumably, judging by the elated tone in her voice. Ruby sighed, facepalming.

"I...figured it had something to do with Nora."

Jaune laughed drily. "Yeah. Can I go in? I think this place is possibly the safest I can be from crazy stuff happening."  
"This is?" The reaper sounded amazed as she moved aside to let her friend in, shutting the door behind him. "How is this dorm the safest place from antics? You realise we live with Yang, right?"

"Well, Weiss hasn't been kidnapped by Velvet for a long while now, right? Yang probably has some stuff or traps or something set up to make sure nothing kidnaps her." The knight pointed out. "Plus, the alternative is staying with Minako's dorm, and Dust knows she's about as big of a prankster as Yang is..."

Ruby nodded in agreement. "You give a good point there. So...err...d'you wanna do anything? You want anything to eat? We got cookies, pizza and chicken in the fridge."  
Jaune grabbed a chair from nearby, sitting down on it. "I dunno. Don't you guys normally read fanfic or something? You guys do nothing but read fanfic when you stay here, anyway.

Also, I kinda already ate, but thanks. If you've got anything to drink, I'll take that, though."  
"...you have a point there." The reaper nodded, agreeing. "Alright. We have a bunch of cans of People Like Grapes Soda and Yellow Moose in the fridge. Grab yourself a can, I'll look to see if there's any cool new fics."

Jaune obliged, sauntering over to the fridge to grab a can, while Ruby casually looked up new fanfics in the DustFiction archive. She saw one that caught her eye, looking interesting.

"The Games We Play..." Ruby carefully read out the title, before her eyes nearly bulged out from their sockets. "...holy Dust, _one-thousand-two-hundred-thirty-one _reviews?!"

Jaune whipped around, staring at the screen and nearly dropping his can. "Wait, _what_!? That's...that's more than that one crappy story Yang thinks that that Elf guy writes about us!" He cried, disbelieving and rushing over to the screen. "What's this?!"  
"I...I have to read this." Ruby nodded quickly. "Come on, quickly! Let's read it! I want to know why it's got so _many_!"

"Good Dust..." Jaune rubbed the back of his head. "Well, I'm in this one. Why does everyone like reading about me?"

"Well, in the series, you're basically the only guy or something like that." Ruby explained. "I mean, apart from Sun and Ren, but...you're the first one. And the fans like you."

Jaune just gave her a curious look. Ruby pouted. "Yang always talks about that kind of stuff, so...I guess it kinda rubbed off on me..."

The knight nodded slowly, staring at her. "...riiiight. Well, we should start soon, eh? I mean, it's pretty long, given it's about a hundred thousand words."

"R-right..." The reaper nodded, rubbing the back of her head, still in shock at the vast number of reviews the story had managed to obtain. "...y-yeah, we should start soon..."

* * *

_Chapter 1_

"So...my life's an RPG." Jaune noted, sighing. "...of course. Well, this ought to make my life hell _somehow_."  
Ruby frowned. "Oh, don't be so pessimistic."

"I mean it! I even heard of this one fic where I essentially have to make visual-novel style choices or suffer!" The knight cried, "...alright, let's see what we've got here. So...I'm level two...and wouldn't MP be something like AP, for Aura Points? Or SP, Spirit Points?"  
"Persona already took that one though." Ruby pointed out helpfully. Jaune nodded. "That's true...

Also, what the heck?! I get levels for freaking _taking out the trash_?! Good Dust. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing..."  
"Oh, oh, that means I could basically make you grind by telling you to walk short distances." Ruby realised. "That would count as quests, right?"  
"...I suppose. If the story says that doing _chores_ counts as quests..." The knight responded. "Pretty sound. Also...Dish Washing is a skill that needs training?"  
The reaper shrugged. "Maybe you'll need to throw dishes like frisbees or something to save people. I dunno."  
"That...doesn't sound all that implausible." Jaune admitted, continuing to read the fic. "So...I focused Intelligence and Wisdom.

If that were me, I'd focus Luck. Dust knows I need more of that than anything else..."

...

_Chapter 2_

"Huh. So I can also grind my newfound stats by reading books and punching trees, like my skills..." Jaune rubbed his chin. "Huh. Pretty cool, considering it looks like these stats scale better than real life work would normally..."

Ruby's eyes goggled at the bonuses Aura provided. "...that'd be broken in basically any game system late game. Free thirty percent stats to everything?! That's like...you didn't even have to work for those and all you had to do was read one _book_?!"

The knight chuckled. "Guess having a real life HUD has it's advantages...and it's disadvantages...like for example GOOD DUST SHUT UP ABOUT MY THEFT LEVEL RISING."

"Huh. I thought that usually brings stars to your rating." Ruby tilted her head, curious.

"Wrong game." Jaune reminded her. "Also, my story self's a genius for thinking about that kinda stuff- but then again, he is focusing Intelligence and Wisdom as his stats.

I wish I had that kinda skill to deal with what I have to _here_..."

"Yang would probably find a way to prank you anyway." The reaper pointed out. "Or Ren."

"True point...also, that's pretty bullcrap. I can just see what people are?" The knight tilted his head at the mention of Tukson being a 'White Fang Book Trader'. "Then again, that would scupper all my weird admirers trying to disguise themselves as men. Or men trying to disguise themselves as women to get close to me."

Ruby cringed. "Eesh."

"Yeah. That." The knight groaned. "And when THAT doesn't happen, instead, Nora somehow brings pancake batter to life."

...

_Chapter 3_

Jaune winced. "You know, reading about Professor Tukson being so vulnerable kinda...feels weird. I mean, I know he used to be a bookstore owner, but it feels so...weird...to read something based on the show."

"He did say he always made himself look weak so he wouldn't have to twist people into pretzels." Ruby recounted wistfully. "I mean, look at him. He's got the muscles of a god."

"And apparently he fought off Cthulhu or something with Miss Lupin a couple of weeks back..." The knight recalled a story Yang told him. "Huh...wait...a quest?"

"Uh-oh." Ruby looked worried. "White Fang quest, but with such a good reward..."

Jaune exhaled. "This ought to be traumatising, knowing how this sort of stuff _usually_ turns out...

And I accepted it. Well, at least I'll get a book, right?"

The reaper nodded slowly. "At least we know you live. There's still another twenty-three chapters."

Jaune's eyes narrowed. "Somehow, that doesn't reassure-

Oh come on, seriously?! First quest out of the house and freaking giant robots and injured Faunus! What is this?!"

"Typical wake-up call boss." Ruby shrugged. "Y'know, like Cheren. Or the third boss of Tartarus- I forgot what he was called."

"Greaaaat." The knight muttered drily. "Well, this ought to go well."

...

_Chapter 4_

"Y'know, I can see Blake flipping when she realises she's in this story working with Adam." Jaune mused, chuckling. "Either because she's not being afforded her 'manly' respect or because she has to work with Adam."

Ruby nodded, pouting. "Yeah. Adam's mean. A good fighter, but meaaaan."

"Damn it. I'm just a kid! Why do I get thrown into this kinda stuff again?!" The knight cried in exasperation. "Oh, great. At least I don't get gunshot wounds by being riddled with autocannon fire or something. At least being a video game character helps with that-oh, hey, I levelled up.

Cool."

"Should've turned your Aura on..." Ruby pointed out. Jaune shrugged.

"Work in progress." He responded. "Also, meh. Wait...oh _come_ on! Really?! An _escort_ mission?!

Well, at least the White Fang aren't a bunch of terrible AI companions unlike every _other_ game that uses those. Dust knows how bloody _that_ would be if that were the case..."

Ruby winced. "And you die if you fail? That's...a lot of trouble to be going through for one book you don't even know you can use."

"How do you know?" Jaune inquired.

"Well, doesn't every game have stuff you need to be at a certain skill rank to use or something? That's been a thing since forever." The reaper answered matter-of-factly.

Jaune accepted her explanation, nodding. "Well, I sure hope not. This'll make this one heck of a shaggy dog story."

* * *

_Chapter 5_

"It seems no matter WHERE I am, or in whatever screwed up universe, I end up in some sort of screwed up situation that's not even my fault." Jaune complained. "Why me?!"

"You're an easy target." Ruby admitted, shrugging. "You're basically the cute everyman who everyone likes.

Yang's words, again, not mine."

"Never knew Yang was that deep." Jaune remarked drily as he continued reading. "Good Dust, not even five chapters and I'm in the thick of trouble..."

Ruby giggled. "Well, at least you keep your mother's words to mind."

"Well, I probably didn't have anything to go on when two seconds after wanting to buy a book I end up having to drive through a freaking _warzone_!" Jaune snapped. "He seems ridiculously calm about the whole thing! I'd be losing my head-

Wait, did I just...DID I JUST CRASH A FREAKING CAR INTO A GIANT DROID WITH AURA?!"

Ruby stared at the screen, in awe. "...now THAT...is what you call road rage.

Oh Dust, I'm turning into Yang."

...

_Chapter 6_

Jaune rubbed his temples. "So...I went through all of that just to find out, that all the books were...worthless because my stats are absolutely tiny."

Ruby nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Dust dam-wait, what? Forty points?!" Jaune stared at the screen in disbelief. "That's just...ridiculously convenient. But forty points?! Good Dust."

The reaper stared at the screen. "And those abilities! What the...free healing, free stat boosts. Six chapters in, he can all but beat first year Huntsmen and Huntresses without much more training!"

"My stats look pretty low, but all those boosts plus Aura..." The knight noted, calculating them in his head. "Good Dust that thing's overpowered."

Ruby nodded in assent. "You think?! Never seen any normal RPG character get so much free buffs at level thirty, let alone thirteen!"

...

_Chapter 7_

"So, in the space of seven chapters, I gained, basically, powers only advanced Hunters the likes of Professor Goodwitch and Professor Fall could even dream of, fought alongside the White Fang, and probably gained more intelligence and wisdom in a day than even Weiss could in three months." Jaune summed up the chapters he'd just read carefully.

Ruby nodded. "Yep, sounds about right."  
"Like I said before, I'm either unlucky and screwed, or unlucky and overpowered _and_ screwed in fanfics." The knight sighed, grumbling. "Alright. So...

Oh, wonderful. It's actually a _question_ whether or not I should steal something to boost my stats. Well. Wait, wait...what? Crocea Mors just gave me some metal affinity thing or something. That's...cool."  
Ruby looked jealously at him. "Why do the fans give _you_ fun stuff but blow _my_ limbs off?!"

Jaune, meanwhile, looked only more irritated. "And of course, my dad ships me with Blake.

While, I'll admit, Blake's...not bad looking, and pretty intelligent...she's just not my type."

"You have a type?" The reaper looked curiously at him. Jaune flailed.

"Y-you don't need to know what my type is!"

...

_Chapter 8_

"...ooooh and I already think this world's pretty badly screwed up. Possibly even more than the show." Jaune noted, shuddering at the description of the workers in Mantle.

Ruby nodded slowly. "Oh...yeah..."

"...and of course, I just get dragged into White Fang business and now Blake- _Blake_\- is expecting me to fly a ship, to another country, risking my _life_, because I accidentally got involved in something crappy the week before! Perfect!" The knight cried. "This is ridiculous.

And no, closeness with the White Fang- a freaking _terrorist _group- and Blake will NOT be enough to make this even _remotely _a good idea! Right? Right, me?!"

The knight pleaded, before staring at the screen in disbelief.  
"...so, for the sake of a bunch of crappy EXP points, I'm going to basically fly to another country, to help out people who, at this point in time, are all but actual terrorists, and risk possibly dying?! Greed really _must_ be my sin."  
"Blake would probably murder you if she heard that." Ruby pointed out, chuckling. "Then again, she's the one who calls them terrorists now."

"...I swear, this _really_ shouldn't seem like it's worth the trouble, even with all the skills I just got for free..." Jaune groaned, shaking his head at himself in the story.

...

_Chapter 9_

"Yes, go to Dad for help, but, y'know, not back out." Jaune remarked drily. "I mean, it's the _right_ thing to do, but..."  
"Well, you did say you were overpowered." Ruby shrugged. "You can probably handle it."

"True point..." The knight admitted, taking a sip of his energy drink. "...aaaand I'm...about to summon a metal elemental from my own weapon.

Serial escalation, thy name is this fic. Wait...wait...did I just...DID I JUST TURN MY WEAPON INTO GIANT FISTS?!"  
Ruby stared at the screen in awe, crossing her arms and pouting.

"...t-that's not fair! Why do _you_ get to turn your own weapon into part of your body, but I have to get my arms blown off?!"

"Well, I am going to basically fly into Hell soon, so I don't think you want to switch places with me right this instant." The knight retorted. "...although I don't exactly want to have _my_ limbs blown off either..."

...

_Chapter 10_

"Yeah, you've got a point, Blake." Jaune nodded. "My power really _is_ bull. Also...yeah, that's pretty...overpowered.

Pretty sure the only thing stopping him right now is his low level, and that's...not going to be like that for long if I'm getting nearly a million XP for this quest."

Ruby chuckled. "...hehehe...you're making Blake trust you, too. That's pretty adorable, y'know."  
"And the tease is ridiculous." Jaune mused. "...well, at least I'm not learning _every_ skill under the Sun.

Although...those prerequisites...this Bai Hu guy must've been basically our Tukson and Weiss' dad combined. At least I got one skill out of it. Also...if he's weaker than Hunters and Huntresses training in Signal at this point, either his stats really are pathetically low, or their Hunters are _strong_.

Hm...this fic's pretty interesting. You wanna keep reading, Ruby?"  
"Sure." The reaper shrugged casually. "Why not? Got nothing else to do, and this story's pretty interesting."

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**Chapter count: 10/26**

**A/N: Welp, nothing to say here, except a huge thanks to everyone involved in getting this chapter to fruition, as always, and MY EXAMS ARE FREAKING OVER YES  
**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, criticisms, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	82. Special Chapter: The Games We Play, Pt 2

**Jaune Reacts to The Games We Play, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Sorry for the late update; I've just been enjoying the first few days of my three month holiday, while getting hyped for the FREAKING FFVII REMAKE. And now, I was not at E3, as some people think I was. I'm too poor for that. **

**Also, as certain people keep pointing this out, I'm going to point something out right back; Ryuugi ****outright told me NOT to do the Spacebattles version****, as I already said last chapter. I am aware there are more than 26 chapters, but I'm also respecting the wishes of the author. So please, refrain from telling me I haven't featured all the chapters unless you want to petition him to let me cover all of the chapters.**

**Anyway, I may also not update as regularly as I may have been in the past; this is due to various things I'll be doing during the summer, so a heads up in advance. As I may reboot a certain older story in addition to updating ****Lucina Reacts**** and ****The Knight's Absolute Choice**** in addition to other things, this may affect Weiss Reacts' update schedule. Just a heads up!**

**With that in mind, let's finish this lovely story, eh?**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY does not belong to me, otherwise we would have people with handguns that fire rockets.**

**The Games We Play belongs to ****rgm0005/Ryuugi. ****Warning for spoilers.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Chapter 11_

"That is a _lot_ of maths relating to how I'll grind my powers." Jaune noted, tilting his head at the exposition as to how he planned on grinding both his newfound White Tiger skills and his mediation skill. "Guess that Wisdom score came into handy..."

Ruby popped a cookie into her mouth, looking at the screen. "If _Adam's_ impressed by your Semblance, it must be pretty overpowered..."  
"Dust knows what would happen if I _had_ a Semblance in addition to this. It seems unfair enough as it is..." Jaune mused, rubbing his chin. "Eesh, Adam's _cold_. Not that I didn't expect it, but he's _cold_."

Ruby frowned. "No wonder Blake doesn't like him all that much. He seems pretty much like our Adam, actually."  
"No kidding. Wait, wait, he's a gamer?!" The knight spat out in disbelief. "Also...it's a screwed up world when I have to get myself beaten to a pulp by a very scary man with a very sharp sword just to grind my ability to survive stuff..."

Ruby giggled. "Wow. You two bonding over beating each other- well, you getting beaten up by Adam, anyway? That...sounds pretty much like a Blake thing."  
"Good Dust, no, Blake would be _worse_. At least Adam doesn't have a _giant mecha_ or _three_ at his disposal..." The knight shuddered at the thought of Blake training him by pounding him to shreds with the Lagann or whatever mecha she had down there; for one thing, he did _not_ like the sound of that 'Megadeus' thing Yang was talking about a couple of days ago.

"Also, I'm going to hack something? Huh."

Ruby blinked. "Huh. Wonder what that'll be?"

...

_Chapter 12_

"So I'm going to go infiltrate the freaking _Schnee Dust Company-_ yep, Weiss would probably kill us for reading this stuff." Jaune sighed, rubbing his temples. "Like I said, serial escalation, thy name is this fic."

Ruby nodded in agreement. "Yeah, people tend to use crappy passwords. I know Yang's password is 'ballsdeep69', for one."  
"Are you serious?" Jaune stared at her in disbelief. "Ballsde-"  
The reaper nodded, sighing. "Yeah. I'm serious. I don't know why she thought _that_ would be a good idea..."

"Man, do these people have _any_ concept of information security?" Jaune stared at the screen in disbelief. "That's just...that's just _really_ stupid. At least _shred_ documents! Don't make private emails easy to get simply by _rooting through your garbage!_

Gggh, all this waste of scrolls and hologram generators. Just send them back in for repair or something, or recycle them! I'm pretty sure this kinda stuff ended up helping that one villain in that one book- I think he picked up a bunch of control devices he just needed to fix with a little solder or something..."

Ruby looked guiltily at him. "Eheh..."  
"Oh, don't tell me you _did_ this!"  
"I...uh...may have thrown out one or two cracked scrolls instead of repairing them..." The reaper responded, twiddling her fingers. "Hehehe...sorry."  
"Good Dust. I'm surprised Weiss hasn't taken you to task on it..."

...

_Chapter 13_

"So Nature Affinity improves fuel economy. Huh." Jaune rubbed his chin, thinking about the implications. "Well, might be useful for desperate escapes."

Ruby stared at the screen in disbelief. "So...you're basically level-grinding by killing flocks of mini-Nevermores with a plane.

...Blake would probably be frothing at the mouth if she found out you got the awesome stuff and she didn't..."  
"OH GOD DAMMIT SERIOUSLY! A GIANT NEVERMORE!" Jaune yelled, exasperated. "Come on! Can't I catch a blasted break? And the best plan I have is to_ crash the Bullhead into it and drain it of Aura?_ Well...at least that worked perfectly, even if it didn't _kill_ the thing..."

"Like I said," Ruby shrugged, popping another cookie into her mouth. "Blake would go _pretty_ mad if she saw this fic..."  
...

_Chapter 14_

Jaune was several steps away from crying out in exasperation. "Come on, really? Can't I catch a break in this fic? And I whine about having half the girls- and the boys- in _this_ academy mobbing me and trying to jump my bones..."

Ruby whistled, watching the absolute flurry of blows Jaune was inflicting onto the Nevermore. "...and wow, you did absolutely _nothing_ despite smacking it, what, a hundred times? So much for having a broken power."  
"Yeah." Jaune laughed slowly. "So much for that...wait, what. What. WHAT?!

I SHOVED MYSELF DOWN THAT THING'S THROAT?!"

Ruby laughed, clapping in amazement. "Well, you certainly did. How the hell did you survive that?"  
"I just...I just pulled a freaking _Yang_." Jaune uttered, shaking his head. "Wow. What the...what the actual _hell_. Like, I know she said all that stuff about Nevermores being hungry, but I never expected I'd be _feeding_ the thing!"

"Serial escalation, thy name is The Games We Play." The reaper reminded him, shrugging. Jaune snorted.

"True, that. Also, _loot_?! That thing better have given me an Invisibility Cloak or something-well, no, it gave me a skill book that gives me what's essentially a Pokemon move, a mask that's basically named for the trope namer of that one thing I've forgotten, and a handy cloak that turns me into Superman.

Cool, although I can do without the face-eating mask implications."

...

_Chapter 15_

Ruby nodded in approval. "Huh, it really IS like an MMORPG, with titles and all. I wonder when you'll get the 'Unlucky Duck' title or something."  
"I'm surprised I haven't gotten that _yet_, looking at all the crap I get here..." Jaune mused. "Really, I mean, I turned into a broken badass who levels up and can kill Nevermores by shoving myself into their throats.

So the entire world decides to screw me over by throwing said Nevermores at me and making me end up with the White Fang. Wonderful."

The reaper frowned. "Oh come on! That's hardly fair! Why do _you_ get the cool mind bullet stuff?! I just get my arms _blown off_!"

"Hey, I had to get eaten by a Nevermore to earn that power! Leave me alone!" The knight retorted jokingly. "...and I got...Magic Missile. Wow.

I'd be making DnD jokes here, if I knew _how_ to make them and if Ren ever _taught_ me how to play that game..."

Ruby, meanwhile, continued reading. "Huh. So the mask IS cursed."

"I wouldn't say that's _cursed_, but probably best not to overuse that thing. It _does_ basically act like an invisibility cloak. I think. At least, it makes me harder to identify." Jaune sighed. "I lost the metaphor I was trying to make."

* * *

_Chapter 16_

"Ggh..." The dorm's door opened to admit Blake in. The catgirl looked sweaty, her face marked with grease and oil and one part of her shirt was slightly torn. The small bag at her side was similarly marked with grease.

Ruby turned around to wave at her. "Oh heewwhoooa. Blake, what happened to you?"  
She strolled over to grab a chair, dabbing at her face with a towel. "Work. What's going on here?"  
"Basically, we're reading about that one fic where I basically see life as a video game and get levels and crap." Jaune explained. Blake nodded slowly.

"So that fic O-Elf-sama hates for having more reviews, favourites and followers than his."  
"...what?"  
"Never mind. You wouldn't get it." The catgirl shook her head, shrugging. "That Adam?"  
"...yes?"  
"Wonderful. Haven't seen him in a while." The catgirl took out a tuna sandwich from her bag and started munching on it. Jaune tilted his head.

"Huh. I thought you'd be pretty angry at Adam. Didn't you always call him unmanly or something?"  
"I'm exhausted from work, Jaune." Blake responded, breathing heavily. "I'm saving my energy up so I don't collapse and sleep on your shoulder so the fans don't start shipping Lunar Eclipse or something."

Ruby frowned. "...alright."

Jaune raised a finger, hoping to ask something, before shaking his head. "Of course, this thing has a _party system._ Why wouldn't I see this coming?"  
"You get _subtitles_?!" Ruby uttered, giggling. "What, so you get an inbuilt translator?"

"That's...probably not how it works." The knight responded, shrugging. "I don't think that's how it works, anyway."  
"Not the first time you'd have a weird Semblance..." Blake mused, rubbing her chin and studying the knight closely. "Also...huh. You know...that really _does_ hit close to home, what their Adam said..."  
"...let's not dwell on that too long." Jaune warned her gently. "Even if it is...unfair, about their whole situation...

...and now I scare _Beowolves_. Wonderful." Jaune clapped his hands once. "Well. That, err...and I got a bunch of new titles and a new Grimm Mask. And a quest."

"Lycaon." Blake nodded slowly, thinking carefully. "...huh. If I'm thinking right...that might make you pretty weak to lightning. Or something."

Jaune turned to her, confused. "Why?"  
"...you wouldn't get it."

...

_Chapter 17_

"Finally, _I_ show up." Blake clapped appreciatively. "Excellent. And I...am not needlessly angsty. That's refreshing."  
"Huh. So I just got an _upgrade_ to one of my older titles. Sweet." Jaune nodded, smiling.

"And, just like her, I'd probably be tempted to slap you for doing that. Crazy person." The catgirl sighed. "Seriously, this power sounds _broken_."  
"Oh, it is." The knight snorted. "It's just, the _rest of the world_ is _even more broken._"

Ruby stared at the screen, reading carefully. "Wait, so you're going to there to dance and get information."  
"Pretty much. But hey, at least I was good at something before this whole _Gamer_ thing." Jaune admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "There's that."  
Blake frowned. "Dammit, I'm gone again. Just great. Can't I _ever_ be in a story without being shipped with Yang or something?"  
"Huh? I thought you liked my sister." Ruby responded, tilting her head.

"N-Not important! And not like that!" Blake snapped, shaking her head. "D-don't get any wrong ideas!"

Jaune, meanwhile, already felt a headache come on.

"Great. So the only way I'm going to be able to grind my luck is gambling. This ought to end well, knowing _my_ luck in this story already..."

...

_Chapter 18_

Blake frowned. "Counting cards, Jaune? You cheat."

"Hey, I'm doing this all for a good cause!" The knight responded hastily. "It's not like I exactly _want_ to cheat! I have to save the Faunus!"  
"Eesh. You utterly _crushed _them." Ruby noted, wincing at how badly Jaune had managed to win at blackjack. "Wow."

"So, we're robbing an airship?" Blake inquired, interested. "Who from?"  
"Schnee Dust Corporation." Jaune explained. The catgirl winced.

"Weiss would probably kill the writer if she knew."  
Ruby shrugged. "Well, she's threatened to execute every _other_ writer in this archive for being perverted, why would she kill this one? It's not like _he's_ done anything perverted in his story."  
Blake pointed at Ruby, nodding. "Point taken. What are we stealing it _for_?"  
"We're rescuing a bunch of Faunus from basically slavery." The knight explained. "Oh, and I'm friends with Adam now."  
"Friends? I'd suspect he just tolerates you." Blake responded. "He's not the people kind. I should know."

"Shortest route...ggh. That's going to go horribly wrong already, I can feel it in my bones..." Jaune muttered.

Ruby grabbed a can of energy drink from the cabinet underneath the desk, offering it to Blake. "Want one?"  
"Yeah, thanks Ruby." The catgirl took the can gratefully, popping it open and gulping it down thirstily. "Wow. Is it really _that _easy to kill Grimm for you now?"  
Jaune shrugged. "Ehhhh...it took me most of two chapters to kill the first one, and the latter half of another one to do kill a second big Grimm."

"That Gamer thing really IS broken." Blake muttered. "And I thought our whole TTGL-ripoff gimmick was broken."  
"You _think_?!"

Blake started twitching. "That...Levant thing is triggering my mini-moe senses. I'm not liking that."

"I thought you got over that?" Jaune reminded her. "Y'know, when you actually beat mini-moes?"

"BABY STEPS!"

...

_Chapter 19_

"White Whale? Why not call that thing Moby Dick or something..." Blake scoffed, rolling her eyes. "And, of course, the irony of us using this, a symbol of unity, to free Faunus who are basically NOT united with anyone in this world, doesn't escape me."  
"That's ironic?" Ruby inquired, confused. Blake sighed.

"Did you just go full ditz on me, Ruby?"  
"No, I was just genuinely confused, is all."

Jaune frowned. "I hope sneaking into secure facilities and robbing airships isn't going to be a regular occurrence. My parents would probably _kill_ me if they found out..."  
"I'm surprised they didn't kill you over something else as it is." Blake remarked. "Good Dust. And a chokehold? Jaune, I didn't know you had it in you."  
"I'm _still _not liking this idea. I can just feel it in my bones, something's going to go horribly wrong..." The knight muttered, breathing in deeply.

Ruby chuckled. "Must be your luck, what with absolutely nobody noticing that you're probably far shorter than anyone who's got the right to be on that ship-"  
"Nope, I lied." Jaune slapped his forehead with his palm. "Something just went wrong. I think I just saw _Weiss_ on the other side of that scroll."

...

_Chapter 20_

"Good news, it's Blake. Bad news, I'm screwed!" Jaune remarked. "So...uh...yay?"

Blake frowned. "I'm offended you think you're still screwed. You've got _me_ in on that plan."  
"Unlike you, their Blake isn't a gung-ho badass who spawns drills out of her behind." The knight retorted.  
"It's not exactly my _behind_-"  
"You get what I mean!"

Ruby tapped the monitor. "Oh, well, _that's_ not..._quite_ true."  
Jaune turned back, reading the words carefully. "Oh _come on_. _Weiss boarded the freaking ship?! _Crap, she really _is_ going to kill me. And, of course, she's almost eight levels over me. _Wonderful._"

Blake rolled her eyes. "And, exactly like _our_ Weiss, she's an ice queen. _Joy._

"And everything goes _horribly wrong! _What the actual heck?!" Jaune cried. "Come _on_! Can't I do _one_ thing without _everything _exploding?!"

"...well, you're definitely dead." Ruby winced, watching Jaune attack Weiss out of desperation.

Jaune groaned, exasperated.

"Well. I'm surprised this fic continues to twenty-six chapters..."

* * *

_Chapter 21_

"Wow. Well, that was...uh...unexpected." Jaune blinked. "So I beat Weiss?"  
"You had two elementals and control of the whole ship." Blake pointed out. "You're an unmanly coward who can't beat her in a real fight, you scum. But, you beat her."  
"And I _kidnapped _her." The knight remarked. "Oh, good Dust, this really _did_ escalate quickly."  
Ruby frowned. "I doubt Weiss would be _that _easy to beat..."  
"If Jaune's _that_ overpowered, this early on, I don't think Weiss stands a chance. Especially as this story seems like it takes place a year or two before we all went to Beacon..." The catgirl noted. "We didn't really get all that powerful before heading here, either."

Jaune groaned. "I am so _screwed_..."

...

_Chapter 22_

"I'm surprised I haven't been blown to shreds yet, given _Ozpin_'s there." Jaune commented. "And now I'm freaking _kidnapping Weiss_?!"  
"You've got some balls, using her to save Adam and freaking doing that to her father's face..." Blake remarked, gulping down another mouthful of energy drink. "And this is all before Beacon?"

Ruby stared at the screen. "Wow, Jaune. Didn't think you could be _that_ cold."  
"If I did this in real life, my mom would probably kill me. Well, Weiss would kill me, and then my mother would blow my corpse to pieces..." Jaune muttered. "First kidnapping Weiss, then threatening to blow up her dad and everyone else...good Dust..." He put his head in his hands, shaking his head.

...

_Chapter 23_

"Come on..." Jaune pleaded, flinching. "Just get this stuff over with..."  
Blake tilted her head. "The situation really _is_ tense."  
Ruby was busy munching cookies like there was no tomorrow. "I know, right? This is _soooo_ tense! I don't even know if everyone's going to get out alive or not!"

"Worse Than I Expected." Jaune grumbled. "Oh, I think it's _far_ more than that. Now, I'm alone, with nothing but two elementals, flying to wherever, trying to finish the mission without the people who can actually _finish _it with me!"  
Blake frowned, shaking her head. "Come on! I just _got_ here! Can't I have a bigger part?!"  
"_That's _the part you care about, and not the whole 'your friend just kidnapped your other current friend and is now currently ditching you with a bunch of angry Hunters' part?!" The knight cried, disbelieving.

"Would it hurt if I said yes?"  
"Dammit, Blake!"

...

_Chapter 24_

Blake tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Heh. Ironwood really hasn't got any clue what he's doing, has he?"  
"Neither do _I_!" Jaune cried. "How have they not caught me yet?! And now I'm going to smack right into _Beacon_?!"

Ruby raised a finger to point something out. "Well, not _into_ Beacon, but..."  
"And throwing Grimm into their path to distract them now?!" Jaune groaned. "Yep, if it's real life or a fanfic, I can't catch a freaking break!"

...

_Chapter 25_

"Y'know, when I wake up the _king of the winds with wings large enough to block out the Sun_, there's something SERIOUSLY wrong here!" Jaune yelped. "Can't I catch a break here?! SERIOUSLY?!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Least Ziz isn't some big green serpent or something. You got lucky there."  
"Well, I have freaking Intimidate as a passive ability, and I essentially have Air Slash, so why can't this thing be Rayquaza, I have NO idea!"

Ruby giggled. "Aww, he's giving you a ride!"

"Good Dust." The knight groaned. "Good Dust. Why. WHY DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO ME IN FANFICS?!

SERIOUSLY?! I AGREE WITH ME! HE DRAGGED ME ALL THE WAY ACROSS TO DUST-KNOWS-WHERE BECAUSE HE WAS STARVING! I DON'T EVEN THINK GRIMM EAT THINGS!"

Ruby shrugged. "Aaaand welcome to _my_ world in fanfics."

...

_Chapter 26_

"Well. Good news, I'm stranded on a freaking frozen desert island in the middle of nowhere, with a broken ship and a bunch of new elementals. Bad news, I'm still screwed! I still haven't completed my mission!" Jaune sighed. "If it was this bad _here_, I'm screwed when I get there."

Blake shrugged. "Well, at least you achieved the power of being the Avatar, at least."  
"Not technically, but eh." Ruby shrugged. "Five elements...you just need a wood elemental to replace Xihai and you've got the basic elements."  
"There probably IS a wood elemental..." Jaune mused. "Now if only I had a _luck_ elemental...

Well, that's it for the story, I guess. I'll leave the review?"  
"...yeah, sure. Why not?" Blake stated, shrugging.

* * *

**From: GoldenKnightOfArc**

Uh, appreciate the attention, and all. Thanks.

But Dust _dammit_ can't you let me catch a break for once?!

-Signed, Jaune Arc

PS: Make sure Weiss never sees this, she'll kill you if she does.

* * *

Jaune frowned. "I guess...I just don't get lucky _anywhere_ I go, huh?"  
"Nope. You're basically what would happen if Touma and, I dunno, someone from Madoka Magica had a kid. Might as well take 'fukou da' as your catchphrase." Blake shrugged casually.

Just then, Yang and Weiss burst into the dorm, clutching bags of assorted clothes and whatnot. All three people in the dorm looked up.

"Heeeey, guys!" Yang waved at them, smiling. "What did I miss?"

"A lot." The knight responded, before placing his head in his hands again. "My luuuuck..."  
Weiss' eyes narrowed as she studied him. "What's his problem?"  
"He read a fanfic." Blake responded, looking down at him.

"Welcome to my world, Arc."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Woo, that's done! Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Hot Springs Episodes! A huge shout out to everyone responsible for making this chapter possible, and a huge thank you for everyone who waited patiently- and who didn't incessantly remind me about the Spacebattles version- for this chapter!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	83. Weiss Reacts to Onsen Episodes, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Hot Springs Episodes, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Now, as those of you following my other fic ****Lucina Reacts**** would know by now, I am currently recovering from a huge bout of writer's block. My update schedule, thus, will probably be determined by both actual activities and whether or not I can actually be bothered to write. Sorry, guys.**

**However, you guys waited long enough for a Weiss Reacts update, so here it is! ^.^**

**Also, _onsen_ is Japanese for 'hot springs'. We used that as the title due to the chapter title limit preventing me from using 'hot springs'. Sorry about that. However, the real title is 'hot springs episode', as TvTropes so likes to put it.**

**A/N: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would probably have had giant rat Grimm.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

It had been about a week of nothing particularly interesting happening in Beacon's halls. The summer heat had driven most of the usual suspects outdoors, to enjoy the heat and sun that Vale had so rarely had in the last couple of months. In the sheer chaos, of course- and the lack of a Nora who would stay in one place without the heat- the Antic Order of Beacon were unable to meet properly and so were forced to smaller, pettier antics.

That was, until the beginning of this particular week signalled an end to such good weather.

"Maaaaan, I'm bored." Yang whined, sighing while sitting in her dorm with the rest of her team. "This...being nice thing. I mean, the fans still hate me, you guys don't trust me, and I can't even have any fun by stealing someone's panties or something!

Can we do something?!"

Weiss sighed, adjusting the light-blue sweater she was wearing and shivering in her bed. "We would go out, if it wasn't so cold! Seriously, it's summer and it's under ten degrees?!"  
"When they said it was a cold snap, I didn't think it'd be _this_ cold." Ruby complained, pouting. "It's boring to be cooped up inside during summer!"

Yang shrugged. "Maybe Professor Faust's spells failed or something. Dust knows _she's_ always up to something."

Blake was reading a book, frowning. "I can't even get into my secret lair, either. This is ridiculous! I have _important_ projects to be working on! Can we do _something_ that gets us out of here?"  
Yang rolled her eyes, before staring up at the catgirl. "Well, we can't exactly _have a pool party_ or something. It's _freezing_! I _knew_ I should've bought that _kotatsu_ when I saw it in the market the other day..."

Weiss grumbled, lying in her own bed and huddling her blanket up to her chest. "Well, sitting here and whining about it isn't going to do anything now, Xiao Long. You might as well sit down and get over it."

The reaper looked to her girlfriend. "Weiss! Can't you just, y'know, call your dad and make him give us a private trip to Vacuo or Atlas or someplace warm? Your dad's basically controlling half the companies in the kingdom!"  
The heiress stared at her like she was being foolish. "Ruby! You know full well I can't just treat my father like some sort of do-anything robot! He is a _very_ busy man!"  
Yang frowned at her. "Oh _come_ on, Weiss! We're dying of boredom here! And cold! I want to go somewhere _waaaarm_!"

Ruby knelt at the floor, looking pleadingly at Weiss with the widest and most watery puppy-dog eyes she could muster.

"Pweaaaase, Weiss?" She asked. "For meeee?"

"...gggh." The heiress pinched the bridge of her nose. "I hate you so much sometimes, Ruby. You're too adorable for your own good. Blake, pass me the phone."

The catgirl tossed her the dorm's telephone. Weiss caught it deftly, looking at it carefully.

"You know, Ruby, there is absolutely no guarantee he'll accept." She reminded Ruby with a raised finger. "That would be highly unreasonable. He is after all incredibly-

...

"Alright. I will have a bus pick you and your friends up there shortly." Siegfried Schnee declared cheerily over the phone. "I've had the people at the springs clear a room or two for you, so you should have free reign for the next two days or so while the cold snap fades."

Weiss slowly nodded, clearly in shock. "...alright, Father, have a nice day." She hung up, blinking briefly.

"...fancy that. He did." The heiress muttered. Yang whooped cheerfully, pumping her fist in the air.

"Woo! Hot springs vacation, girls!"

Ruby gasped happily. "I've always _wanted_ to visit a hot spring!"

Weiss scowled. "Of _course_ my father suggests a _hot spring_...very well." She closed her eyes.

"Well, what are you all waiting for? Start packing!"

Blake grunted, pulling herself up. "I guess I'll tell everyone else?"

"I'll grab our suitcases!" The brawler declared cheerily. "Girls, we're going on a road trip! Come on!"

Ruby whooped happily. "Aye, aye, captain! Thanks, Weiss!"

Planting a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek gratefully, she scampered off to grab the suitcases for the entire dorm.

Weiss sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. _"I don't even know why I did this..._'

"...I guess a road trip it is, then. I still don't know why my father thinks we would need to go to some hot springs inn or something..."

Blake looked over at her as she was about to leave. "So, where exactly are we going? I mean, do you even know where it is?"

"He didn't say." Weiss admitted, shrugging. "He just said it'd be quite a distance from here. So you'd better get ready for a ride, I guess."

"Wait. You said a bus, right?" The catgirl added. Weiss nodded.

"Yes, why?"  
"DAMMIT!" The catgirl grumbled. "That's irritating. I wanted to bring out my mecha. It's been _soooo_ long since I last managed to do that kinda stuff..."

"You and your stupid mecha antics." The heiress seethed. "Thank _Dust_ we can get away from that for at least _two days._"  
Blake crossed her arms indignantly. "That's _boring_!"  
"Live with it! Good Dust. You need to get out of whatever lair you build your giant robots in and actually go somewhere for once!" Weiss shot back irritably. "Dust knows you're already insane, and the isolation isn't helping you any.

Just grab anyone who wants to go and tell them to get ready soon. The bus should be here in two hours."

* * *

_Two hours later..._

"So, remind me. How did I end up on a bus to some hot springs center on the side of a mountain again?" Jaune inquired to his neighbour, Pyrrha, as he fastened his seatbelt around himself, having gotten up to got to the bus's onboard toilet.

Around him, he could see the rest of his team, team RWBY, Winter and Velvet sat around; Velvet was only invited on account of Coco ordering Velvet take a leave from the dorm after two whole weeks spent inside having done nothing but obsess over her beloved Weiss-sempai.

The spearmaiden inhaled as she adjusted her belt. "Weiss invited us to go with her."  
"No, I mean, _how_ did that happen?"

Winter peered over the top of Jaune's seat to add to the conversation. "Our father is...quite easy with favours, as long as they are not abused needlessly."

"Right. Is it because it's been pretty cold lately?" The knight inquired. "Your dad didn't really need to-"  
Yang interrupted him, frowning. "Of course he did! It's too _cold_ _**not**_to go somewhere warm! Are you insane?!"

"It's not that cold." Jaune responded. "It's nothing a hot bath couldn't fix."  
At that, the brawler stopped, twitching. Jaune stared at her confusedly.

"Did I...say something-

"A hot bath." Yang muttered, holding up a finger slowly. "You mean to say that a mere_ hot bath_ can even _compare_ to the likes of a _hot spring_?! Do I have to remind you about the sheer _beauty_ contained in one? How _lonely_ the prospect of just a mere _hot bath_ is compared to-OWWWW!"  
The brawler cried out, rubbing the back of her head as Weiss slapped her, glaring at her.

"Idiot." The heiress muttered. "_Now_ I know your true motives. You just want an excuse to do something perverted, don't you?!"

"N-no!" The brawler cried. "L-Like I said, I'm trying to be nice so the fans will like me again!"

"...I am very doubtful about that, actually."

"And why would _that_-"

Suddenly, Nora's excited squeal filled the entire bus, interrupting everyone. The berserker was eagerly tapping the window, pointing out.

"We're nearly there! I can see it to the side!" She called over, squealing happily. Jaune turned to face to the right of the bus, where Nora was pointing, along with the other occupants of the bus.

The building was reminiscent of a ski lodge, constructed from logs and the roof from brick tiles, and seemingly built into the side of the mountain, as the walls and roof extended into the stone face. The windows were large, allowing light into the inn's lobby, and the asphalt carpark outside was packed with expensive looking cars. Outside, the flags of Vale and the Schnee Dust Company flew, blown by a brisk gust. To the right of the inn itself, a large cliff poked out, with stone stairs leading into the building; Jaune could spy one or two people going down the stairs, carrying bags and towels. Upon the cliff, large canvas walls were perched, with a faint wisp of steam emerging from behind the walls.

Nora was staring at the whole set-up with amazement. "..._that's_ where we're staying for the next couple of days?! T-that looks like the biggest log cabin in the world!

They better have pancakes or Queen Nora will _not_ be happy!" The berserker declared indignantly.

Jaune turned to Weiss, an expression of disbelief plain on his face. "...I-I know that place! That's one of the biggest tourist destinations in all of Vale! People from _Atlas_ come all the way here just for the hot springs!"

Weiss seemed unfazed by the discovery. "Hm. My father did say it was a good facility."  
"Good?!" The knight stared at her in disbelief. "That's _amazing_! And you got us that for _free_!?"

Velvet was staring at the heiress gratefully, blushing heavily. "See? Weiss-sempai will never fail us. She is _perfection..._"  
"Pipipipi!" Vivi saluted from her shoulder. "Pipi piiii pipipi!"

Pyrrha, meanwhile, looked over at Weiss. "When you said...hot springs, you mean the kind where we are only in our towels while in the springs, right?"

"...yes." The heiress nodded, giving her a suspicious look. "Why?"

The spearmaiden looked briefly over at Jaune, smiling briefly. He didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, no reason."

"...the chill going down my spine tells me that's not true." The heiress muttered. "The springs are gender-segregated, if I recall these facilities correctly."

Yang pouted. "Oh come _on_! That's not fun at all!"

"They're probably like that to stop people like _you_ from doing something perverted in them." Weiss remarked. "And _I can feel your eyes on the back of my neck Velvet, quit staring at me._"

Velvet whimpered joyously. "Weiss-sempai saw fit to keep her attention on me at all times...I feel so loved..."

Blake slapped her forehead with her palm. "Hopeless. Absolutely _hopeless._"

'_Gender-segregated. Disappointing.'_ Pyrrha mused, sighing and looking over at Jaune. _'Maybe next time.'_

* * *

_In the inn..._

The whole group stood with their suitcases in the middle of the reception- and yes, even Vivi had a tiny suitcase in her hand while she stood on the shoulder of her mother. The lobby was a rather large place, with a granite floor covered with various well-designed Vacuan rugs and fine furniture. To their left, several chairs were arranged around a great hearth, a fire roaring to keep the visitors warm, while to their right, the reception desk was manned by a deer Faunus man, who was currently conversing with Weiss.

"...and that will be three rooms, Miss Schnee?" The receptionist inquired. Weiss nodded.

"Three rooms, booked under a Weiss Schnee?"

"...ah. Yes. Here we are." The receptionist passed over the keycards for the rooms.

Jaune crossed his arms. "So, how are we doing these rooms?"

"Well," Ren chimed in, reading from his phone. "According to their website, they have a capacity of four per room."

Jaune thought carefully. "So that means we're in our teams, right?"

"Wrong." The heiress interrupted him. "Just so Pyrrha doesn't do something weird."  
Pyrrha looked indignantly over at her. "W-Weiss! I'll have you know that-"  
"Don't even give me that speech, I know you take pictures of Jaune in the shower." The heiress cut her off brusquely. "Pervert. And also I don't trust Yang in the same room as Ren and Nora.

We're going in separate dorms. Team RWBY takes one, Pyrrha, Nora, Velvet and Winter will take another dorm, and you and Ren have one to yourselves, Arc."

Nora whimpered. "I want to be with my Renny! That's not fair! Why do you get your Ruby but I can't have my Renny? I need someone to hug me when I sleep!"

Winter smiled at Pyrrha. "My, it seems we will be roommates."  
The spearmaiden closed her eyes, somewhat disappointed by the arrangement. She swallowed deeply, looking over at Winter.

"Yes, Miss Schnee. That sounds nice."

Velvet whimpered. "Can't I share a room with Weiss-sempai?"

Ruby frowned. "No. My Weiss. Me no like sharing!" To emphasise her point, she hugged Weiss' arm tightly. "No sharing!"

"...pi." Vivi slapped her forehead with her stubby arm, shaking her head in exasperation. "Piiii..."

Yang looked around for a clock. "It's...two in the afternoon, isn't it?"  
"Yes, I believe so." Ren nodded. "We should probably head out for the springs at four after we get settled into our rooms."

Ruby nodded in agreement, starting to yawn. "Yeaaaah...I'm pretty sleepy. I wanna take a nap before we go into the hot springs."

"And I'll probably pick up a bite or two first." Yang added. "Also, Miss Pancake will probably go find herself some."  
"You know me too well! Now, if you excuse me, TO THE DELICIOUS GRIDDLE-COOKED FOODSTUFFS! ONWARDS!" With that, the berserker rushed off to locate her beloved pancakes. "Oh, wait! Renny, you're coming too!"  
"I am-wha!" The gunslinger found himself yanked away by his girlfriend and taken away, leaving the others in the lobby.

Weiss handed out keys to Jaune and Pyrrha. "Alright. Well, we should get to our rooms soon. We'll meet back here in two hours!"

Pyrrha nodded, still looking over at Winter disappointedly. "Understood."

...

_In Pyrrha's Room..._

Pyrrha sighed, looking at the folded bath towel in her hands. "So the springs are gender-segregated...

I was looking forward to going with J-Jaune into the springs..." The spearmaiden sighed wistfully. "Oh, well." Pyrrha, looking sadly down for a second, set aside her towel and stood up to walk out of the room. Suddenly, however, she felt a hand pull on her shoulder, turning around to look down at Velvet, who had a wicked look in her eyes.

"Pyrrha, you want your Jaune, right?" The bunnygirl inquired innocently. Pyrrha blinked briefly, stepping back. She'd sworn off yandere antics for a long while, and she had a feeling Velvet's plan involved such an antic.

"...I-I can tolerate not having him." The spearmaiden squeaked out. Velvet frowned.

"Come on, you want him, right? All for yourself, right?"  
"L-Look, Velvet," Pyrrha stood her ground, staring her down. "...J-Jaune is free to l-like whoever he likes! I-I just have to live with that-"

Velvet pouted. "But what about Winter? You had Jaune first, why should you lose him to her?"

The spearmaiden flinched. The bunnygirl knew then she had her.

'_...d-damn you...Velvet...'_

"...what do you have planned?"

Velvet pulled out a small blackboard, detailing her plan.

"You see, the hot springs will have a lot of steam in them, and are only separate by a wall of rocks stacked up. I know, my adorable daughter investigated it for me." Velvet patted her beloved Vivi lightly on the head, causing her to squeak joyously.

Pyrrha held up her finger. "And you're saying we can use the steam as a distraction to ensure Weiss and Ren don't see us, right?"  
"Bingo." Velvet smirked hungrily. "T-then...y-you can have your Jaune...and I can have my Weiss-sempai.

All we have to do is work _together_. You just have to somehow make the steam thick enough that nobody can see through it."  
"Wait, how are _we_ supposed to do that?" Pyrrha inquired. Velvet hefted a pair of night-vision goggles.

"Just what we need for it. I have the burlap sacks, and the net , and we can go get our loves for ourselves!" Indeed, the bunnygirl was drooling at the prospect of having Weiss all for herself already, causing Vivi to lightly poke her cheek.

"Pipipi?" The plushie uttered, trying to get her mother back to her senses, before shaking her head. "Pipipipi..."

"...oh my. You want to spirit my sister and Mister Arc away?"

Pyrrha froze, staring behind Velvet to see Winter, having emerged from the bathroom, with her long white hair done in a towel turban.

"I mean...no, that's not..." The spearmaiden raised a finger, flustered by her sudden appearance. Winter, however, held up a finger to interrupt her.

"My. You two...should really learn how to surprise people better." She chided them. "A surprise dinner for both of them is somewhat unconventional. Is that the usual commoner trend nowadays?"

'_Commoner...trend?' _Pyrrha looked confused. "...u-um...yes?"

Winter squealed with delight, rubbing her hands gleefully.

"Then I must join you! I am very skilled at planning out surprises myself, after all." The lady explained proudly. "That is what you're planning, right? I insist, therefore, that you allow me to aid you!"

At that, even Velvet was staring at her.

"You want to...join us?" Velvet inquired, blinking. Winter nodded eagerly.

"They are both people dear to me, and so I would like to help you surprise them!"

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Yes, we're back. I was just taking a writing break after being burned out by exams and finally having a wealth of free time. I'll try to keep a more regular schedule, guys.**

**Also, Winter getting involved in Velvet and Pyrrha's antics. Excellent.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	84. Weiss Reacts to Onsen Episodes, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Hot Springs Episodes, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Hehehehehe...well, let's just say that Winter has absolutely no idea what she's up for. Also anyone else hyped for Fire Emblem Fates? I know I am. Excellent. Well, time for Winter to absolutely embarrass herself and shenanigans to happen! Are you excited for those? I know I **_**definitely**_** am! Also, because you people have kept asking for it, and I want to do it, a crossover with ****Lucina Reacts**** is currently in the works. Stay tuned!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have a Huntress character based on magical girl anime. **

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"It really is nice...to be able to take a break from the insanity of Beacon." Weiss sighed, sinking into the water, resting her arms on the heated rocks on the side of the pool.

"Heh." Yang chuckled, resting her head on the stones. "You need to loosen up some more. You're always so...uptight."  
"Between you, Velvet trying to sneak into my room and steal my underwear, and Dust knows what else? I think it's just a _bit_ hard to relax." The heiress retorted. "But...I suppose, if you actually _make_ the effort to be less of a jerk, then I might be able to relax."  
Yang frowned at that. "Oh come on! That was uncalled for!"  
"Shushshushushushushush." Ruby cut them both off with a finger, closing her eyes and trying to enjoy the steam. "Guys, just shush. Shuuuush! I'm trying to enjoy this! These...these springs are _peeeerrrfect._"

The hot springs the inn boasted really were amazing- the perfect temperature, just right to bathe in, with the hot mist making it a little hard to see, but making it all the warmer in this cold temperature. Yang, Ruby, Weiss and Blake were lounging in the spring, enjoying the heat of the water on their freezing skin. Nora was sitting in the corner with a wooden tray floating in the water and a stack of buttermilk pancakes piled upon said tray, lying with her head on a pair of folded towels she'd bunched up behind her head as a pillow.

"How did you even get those in here?" Blake inquired, pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes- her normally long hair had been tied in a bun to keep it out of the water. Yang had declined to do so, but then Blake wagered she'd prefer wet hair to having to bind her beloved hair.

Nora wiggled her fingers. "I used my magical sloth powers to sneak it in!"

"She popped a smoke bomb in the changing rooms to do it." Yang corrected her, causing Weiss to shoot her a glare.

"NORA!"  
"I need my pancakes!" The girl protested. "I can't live without them! It would be _inhuman_ to deprive me of them! D-don't hurt me so!"  
"...I don't even..." The heiress put a hand on her temple, rubbing it to get rid of the headache Nora had just inflicted upon her. "...Nora, I swear, if I get banned out of my own family's property, I am going to personally execute you."

Nora pouted at that. "Oh come on! That's mean!"

Blake shrugged. "You know, she has a point. It'd be _pretty_ humiliating to be banned off family property because your friend did something ridiculously stupid..."

"I just wanted my pancakes..." The berserker responded, whimpering sadly. Ruby frowned.

"Don't worry, Weiss doesn't mean that." The reaper reassured her, before turning to Weiss. "Right, Weiss?"  
Her expression was the most pleading face the heiress had ever had the fortune of beholding, with watery eyes, pouting lip and that strange quality that made others look pitiful- but worked fine on people like Ruby. Perhaps it was a side effect of the steam, or maybe Yang's theory about cute people being able to make stupid things look cuter was right.

Weiss sighed. "Fine, Ruby. I won't _completely_ destroy Nora if she ruins my reputation. Just partially. Happy?"

"Very." Ruby smiled at her. Nora cheered.

Yang, meanwhile, rubbed her chin, looking over at Weiss. "Hm...there's something...different about you."

"Different?" Weiss looked up, running her hands through her hair instinctively. "What do you mean different?"

"...maybe you've filled out?" Yang started wading through the pool to Weiss. "Hm..."  
"Yang, what are you-YANG! N-NO!" Weiss blushed profusely as Yang's hands started wandering. "WAIT! NO! S-STOP! PERVERT! W-WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THERE?!"  
"Hm...you really are starting to fill out. In all the right places, too." She smiled up at her deviously.

"Y-YOU DIDN'T NEED T-TO DO THAT TO SEE, I-IDIOT!"  
Ruby stared at the display, blushing. "U-um...s-she's _my_ girlfriend, you know."  
"Join in, then!" The brawler called, inviting Ruby over.

"D-don't you dare!" The heiress cried out in embarrassment. "G-gh...w-why..."  
Blake, meanwhile, looked away, blushing and shaking her head.

Nora merely sliced a bit of pancake off for her to eat. "Hm...it's a little dry. Needs more maple syrup!"  
She poured some of the sugary syrup onto her beloved pancakes, blissfully ignoring the vaguely intimate events going on around her.

* * *

_Meanwhile, over the wall of the hot springs..._

Velvet peered over the wall, gazing down at Yang's ministrations upon her beloved heiress. She seethed.

"...h-how come SHE gets to do that? S-stupid pervert..." Velvet hissed. "S-she's defiling W-Weiss-sempai's purity!"

"Is it foggy enough?" Pyrrha called from underneath. "Can they see anything?"  
Vivi clambered onto Velvet's shoulder, peering down with her. "Pipipipi?"  
"...well, apart from that blonde oversexed deviant pervert defiling my Weiss, nothing. It's quite foggy."

Pyrrha popped on her goggles. "Excellent. Wait, can these switch to infrared?"  
"...just turn the dial once." The bunnygirl stated. "You know what the plan is, right?"

"Understood." Winter clapped happily, smiling. "Oh my, this is so exciting!"

Pyrrha sighed. "I still can't believe we brought Miss Schnee..."  
"Nonsense. You require my experience in holding surprise dinners!" Winter protested. "It would be almost illogical to leave me out- after all, it happens to be an art gentlewomen are talented in."

Vivi just gave her an incredulous look, as if to say "Truly?" or "Seriously?".

Velvet looked down at the lady. "So, you know your part of the plan, right?"

She held up two clear orbs full of mist. "Understood, Miss Scarlatina...but I still don't understand what these are for."

"A distraction to make the surprise easier to do!" Velvet cried. "Just set them off so me and Pyrrha can go surprise those two! You want to help us surprise them, right?"  
"Oh, right!" Winter nodded hastily. "I do apologise. I shall get on that immediately." With that, the lady quickly dashed off to take care of her part of the plan. When she was out of earshot, Pyrrha frowned.

"...for as much as I dislike Miss Schnee, I still feel bad for using her like this." Pyrrha stated, frowning. "Are you sure this is necessary?"  
"I want my Weiss-sempai, you want your Jaune-kun, and all is fair in love and war. Besides, Yang would do the same thing. Now get into position! We don't have time to worry!" The bunnygirl snapped. "Get ready! They're about to make it a lot easier for us to get our quarry.

The spearmaiden sighed. "Your determination would be admirably, if it weren't...about trying to get Weiss to love you."  
"I WILL SUCCEED DAMMIT" Velvet cried desperately. "NOW GO"  
Pyrrha did so, scurrying off. Vivi sighed, shaking her head as she slapped her forehead with a stubby arm.

"Pipipipiiii pipiiii piiiipipi."

"No, I am _not_ taking this too far!"  
"Pi."

"Slippery slope? What do you mean _slippery_ slope?! I won't slip down this slippery slope!"

"Piiii pipi." Vivi stated again, shrugging. "Pipipipi.

"...ggh...meanie..." The bunnygirl pouted at her own creation, patting her lightly on the head. "Why do you have to be so mean, Vivi? Also, why is the only person I can share anything with an animated plushie?"

"Pipipi." Vivi huffed as she clambered onto the top of Velvet's head to look down on the people in the hot springs. "Pipipiiiii."

Slowly, the bunnygirl slipped on her goggles, flipping them to the infrared function, before studying the area where Weiss was wading in the water. Her mouth slowly opened, with a line of drool starting to form from it.

"Heehee..." Velvet giggled, before grabbing her rope ladder.

It was time to put her ultimate plan into action.

* * *

_Meanwhile, down in the hot springs..._

Weiss shivered, clutching her hands to her chest. "I feel...violated..."

Yang sighed. "We're close friends, and we're both girls. It isn't that bad."

"...y-you didn't need to be so _thorough_ with trying to find out whether I was filling out, y-you pervert..." The heiress muttered irritably. "Pervert..."

Yang winked at her. "Well, you know. Maybe you might actually be getting a growth spurt~"  
"I DON'T NEED A GROWTH SPURT!" The heiress snapped. "I-I AM PERFECTLY ADEQUATE IN SIZE! PERFECTLY!"

Nora burped, pushing aside her finished tray of pancakes. "Ahhhh. Nora full now. Can we play game now?"

"Yeah, actually." Ruby nodded in agreement. "We've been sitting here doing nothing fun at all, and we're in a hot spring! It should be fun to be here! We should do something fun!"

"You're right." Blake looked around the pool, judging its width and length. "...hm. It's a pretty big spring. We should have a race."  
"A swimming race?" Weiss stared at her in disbelief. "In this?"  
"Not too fast." Ruby added. "We wouldn't want to make ourselves too sweaty in here of all places, after all."

Nora frowned. "But you shouldn't swim on a full stomach! The stomach sloths don't like being disturbed!"  
"Then why did you have pancakes then?!" The catgirl snapped. "You weren't even supposed to bring those in!"  
"The Queen demands her pancakes at all times!" The berserker replied. "And the Sloth God would disapprove if I forsook his beloved pancakes!"  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure if it's the Sloth God or _you_ who likes pancakes so much..."

Yang cracked her knuckles. "A race sounds fun. Alright, I'm game!

Last one has to get everyone else dinner!"  
Nora smirked. "WOOOO! RACE TIME! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BE BUYING ME PANCAKES FOR DINNER!"

"Pancakes aren't a dinner-"  
"PANCAKES!"

Weiss huffed. "Well, I for one do not _intend_ to lose." She waded over to the end of the pool where Ruby was, with the others following closely behind.

Yang rolled her head on her neck. "Alright, let's do this! All of you suckers are buying me dinner!"  
"Let's go!" Ruby shouted out, allowing all the girls to start paddling towards the other end of the pool.

"Ow!" Blake cried. "Dammit! Water in my eye!"  
"All's fair in love and war, Blakey!" The brawler yelled behind her, grinning, before Weiss overtook her.

"Quit wasting time boasting then!" The heiress remarked. "Dunce!"  
"Hey! That's not fair!"

"All's fair in love and war." Weiss responded, before stopping at the end of the pool. "And I guess I win."  
"Tch! I won't lose!" The brawler remarked, before wading across with several strong strokes of her arms. "Come back here!"  
Blake shook her head, blinking. "Ugh...guys. Don't you think it's getting a little steamy in here?"

Nora scoffed. "Don't be silly! You're just pretending to do that because you got hit in the eye and are trying to make us all lose!"  
"No, seriously." The catgirl looked around confusedly. "It was pretty steamy already, but now...I can barely see the other end of the pool."  
Ruby looked around, rubbing her eyes. "What the...yeah! Why is it so steamy?"

Weiss grumbled. "It's far too steamy...is it getting hotter?"

"No." Yang shook her head. "It shouldn't be, at any rate, unless there's an eruption or something, but this isn't a volcano, is it?"

"Last I checked, our facilities built on volcanoes weren't built on active ones." Weiss thought carefully. "Hum. I wonder..."

The heiress trailed off, thinking carefully. Nora blinked, flailing her hands around.

"I can't see!" She whined. "Too much fog!"  
Blake sighed. "Well, we're going to have to live with it. It'll probably dissipate soon enough. It is an open air spring, after all."  
Yang pouted. "You guys are cowards. It's just a little steam. That hasn't stopped anyone! Right, Weiss?"

Silence. Yang crossed her arms.

"You don't have to rub it in, y'know." The brawler remarked. "Hmph. Always taking things seriously."

In the heavy steam, none of them had noticed a burlap sack lower itself over the heiress' body wrapping itself tightly around her form and yanking her up onto the wall, her squeaks and cries for help muffled by the sackcloth.

* * *

Velvet yanked the squirming sack holding Weiss onto her shoulder, pumping her fist and grinning happily.

"YES! IT WORKED!" The bunnygirl cried triumphantly. "I DID IT! YES!"  
"Mmmmph!" Weiss warned her from inside the sack. "Mmmmpppph!"

"And she's..." Velvet sighed happily. "...naked..."

Vivi sighed. "Pi."

"What are you even talking about, Vivi? I just want her to love me!" The bunnygirl whined. "It's the way of the Scarlatina! Mama Velour did it, and Grandma Marcia did it!"

"Pipipipi..."  
"W-well...then Ruby will just have to share!"

Pyrrha scampered across, holding a squirming sack of Jaune behind her back. "My mission's complete."

Velvet rubbed her hands together. "_Excellent._"

Winter scurried back towards her partners-in-crime, smiling. "Did I do good? Were they surprised?"

"They were certainly surprised." Pyrrha muttered, looking somewhat guilty. "Certainly so."

Velvet sighed happily. "Well, is our escape vehicle ready?"  
"I...had to ask nicely, but they prepared a car for us." The lady stated, frowning slightly. "Also, why are they in sacks?"  
"It's for the surprise factor!" Velvet declared. "You know, so they don't see anything!"  
Winter tilted her head. "Hum. I...have never heard of such a method, but I like the concept."  
The spearmaiden looked over at Velvet, frowning. "Winter, please, go ahead to the car and tell them we're coming."

"Alright." Winter hurried off, as the bunnygirl looked up at Pyrrha.

"Yes?"  
"We should tell her the truth. I just feel...guilty." The spearmaiden sighed. "She may be my rival for Jaune-kun's affections, but this just isn't fair."  
"No! Not when we're so _close_ to having our loves to ourselves for once!" Velvet whined. "Come on! Winter can't know. Not yet!"  
"It ...fine." Pyrrha closed her eyes. "I just...think it's not fair to manipulate her like this."

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Yang looked around, shaking her head. "No, I haven't found Weiss. Where'd she go?"  
Ruby frowned. "Well, she didn't go past me, so she didn't leave the springs."

Nora's eyes flitted about, scanning the pool. "...wait. Did any of you see Velvet or Pyrrha yet?"

"Velvet or-" Yang suddenly realised what was going on. "Oh, _Dust dammit._"

The catgirl turned to her quickly, confused. "What? What's going on?"  
"Velvet and Pyrrha kidnapped her. Likely kidnapped Jaune, too." The brawler explained. "Great, wonderful. Just _wonderful._"

Ruby pouted. "Again? Do you guys have anything set up to protect Weiss?"  
Yang clicked her teeth irritably, shaking her head. "We didn't have set up time. We had no idea this might happen."

Blake sighed, wading towards the end of the pool. "Hang on. I might have something."  
"You...might have something?" The reaper inquired, tilting her head.

"I forgot a few things back at Beacon." Blake explained. "I'm having them delivered."  
"Delivered?" Yang tilted her head. "By what, the Lagann? Or are you revealing the Megadeus?"  
"No, something better."

...

Velvet frowned, adjusting the belt of her seat while in the car Winter acquired. "You're old enough to drive?"

Winter nodded as she carefully drove the car down from the mountain. "Of course. I know some good restaurants near here. Would you like me to drop you off there?"  
"No, no, I'll tell you when to drop us off..."The bunnygirl shook her head hurriedly. "Trust me, I know a good place for us to, ah, have dinner..."

Pyrrha simply looked guiltily up from the seat behind. "Of course...yes, have dinner..."  
"WAIT WHAT THE-" Velvet shrieked, pointing at the road in front of them, seeing a person in the headlamps. Winter braked quickly, staring at the person.

"Who's that?!" Pyrrha yelped, staring directly at the person, who was strolling in front of the car. Winter tilted her head, scratching it. "...um..."

"Misses Scarlatina, Nikos and Schnee." Norn enunciated clearly into the car. She was wearing her maid costume, as always- dirtied by the trek up the mountain- and carrying two bags of luggage. "What are you doing?"

Vivi sighed. "Pipipi."  
"C-come clean?!" The bunnygirl cried. "W-what are you-"

"Come clean?" The lady turned to them, confused. "What do you-"

Norn's expression did not change. "Miss Vivi is saying that you have been manipulated."  
"Manipulated?" Winter stared at her in disbelief. "How?"  
"They have made use of your services to transport your sister and Mister Arc away for their own purposes instead of what you have thought they were." The robot maid stated bluntly. Winter looked disappointedly at the bunnygirl in the seat next to her.

"Is this true, Miss Scarlatina?"  
"O-Of course not! I-"

"It is." Pyrrha sighed, shaking her head. "And I'm sorry. Miss Schnee, I'm really sorry. I'll...make it up to you, somehow."  
"NOOOO!" Velvet screamed, leaning over to take over the wheel. "We're going to get away! QUICK-"  
Norn stood up stock straight, placing her hand on the back of the car. "Engaging Protector Protocol. Directing power to arm servos."

"...w-what the..." The bunnygirl tried to move the car forward. "Why aren't we-GAH! WE'RE MOVING BACKWARD!"

Pyrrha gazed out of the back window to see that Norn was dragging the car back up the mountain with one arm. Her face was still emotionless, without a hint of pain or any sign that this took effort for her to do.

"NOOOO!" Velvet cried. "We were so CLOSE!"  
Pyrrha closed her eyes. "I am ready to accept punishment." Vivi simply hung her head mournfully.

...

_Half an hour later, in the girl's dorm..._

"...so you dolts...manipulated my sister...into going along with your stupid kidnapping schemes." Weiss seethed, glaring down at Pyrrha and Velvet, now fully clothed. Jaune was sitting just outside, having some hot chocolate made for him by Norn.

"...i-in our defence, she wanted in-" Velvet raised a finger, but Weiss smacked the table next to her to silence her. Winter frowned at her younger sister.

"Now, Weiss...please understand. Miss Nikos has apologised for her part, and I do wholeheartedly accept her apology."

The heiress closed her eyes, breathing heavily for a second, before turning to the spearmaiden.

"You're free to go. You're forgiven."

"...I'm sorry about this." Pyrrha nodded hurriedly, before running out of the room. The heiress turned to Velvet.

"Winter, you may want to leave the room. Perhaps Jaune needs something." Weiss stated calmly. Winter nodded in agreement.

"Understood."

As she ran off, Weiss turned to Velvet, breathing deeply.

"...d-do you forgive me?" The bunnygirl inquired hopefully. Vivi was already scurrying off her shoulder, running for the door. She felt the killing intent seeping off the heiress, and she wanted no part of her mother's punishment.

Weiss sighed, smiling sweetly at her. Velvet didn't notice her hand was slipping towards Myrtenaster's hilt.

"Oh, of _course_ I forgive you." The heiress responded. "Of course."  
"Yay-"  
"But..." She flipped Myrtenaster's setting onto the blue setting, slowly drawing it from its scabbard. "Crimes must be punished even if you do forgive others for them.

You got my sister involved, and you have committed a crime worth a punishment. And the punishment for this one...is _execution._"

She drew Myrtenaster, the blade shimmering with ice crystals. Velvet swallowed nervously.

"...uh oh."

The bunnygirl recoiled in fear as Weiss slowly set in towards her, still smiling serenely.

"Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit. This will hurt _a lot._"

Needless to say, Velvet's pleas for help filled the inn that night.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Poor Velvet. Oh well. Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Accel World!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	85. Weiss Reacts to Accel World, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Accel World, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yes, we aren't done yet! In fact, we've got a ton more stories to tell and stuff! However, a particular guest reviewer, despite his review being...to be frank, almost incomprehensible, does bring up a good point; when will Weiss Reacts end! Have no fear, haters and people getting bored of this, for this story has a planned end already. There will, indeed, be a Volume 3 and the final instalment of the series. So, if you want something featured, you'd best get it done now or during Volume 3 as I will probably not do any other volumes afterwards.**

**And yes, there will be a crossover with ****Lucina Reacts**** in the works, so time to hype it up, lads!**

**However, the end of Volume 3 is a long, long way away, and we haven't even finished Volume 1. Let's get this show on the road!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more fanservicey moments in the series (so we can fuel your Rule 34 fantasies~)**

**Accel World belongs to Reki Kawahara. (And no, I will not do SAO, for personal reasons.) Warning for spoilers.**

* * *

"Well, first it's too cold, and now it's too blasted _hot_." Weiss growled, irritated at the strange weather their country was going through.

After the eventful trip to some hot springs the team had taken that had ended with Velvet and Pyrrha attempting to kidnap Weiss and Jaune- and Norn fortunately putting a stop to it- they had collectively elected not to go anywhere else and just stay at Beacon. Yang had mentally punched herself for not having noticed this ("Damn it! The _one_ time I decide NOT to be a pervert, someone else does instead!") ,while Blake patted herself on the back for having such an awesome robot maid.

Of course, that decision had been ill-thought out when the very week after, a heat wave overtook Vale and now it was too hot to go outside. Too hot, in fact, that most of the student body were advised to stay inside and avoid the heat, for fear of possible cases of heatstroke and other unpleasant illnesses. So, team RWBY were currently confined to their dorm, with almost every window and door open and most of the- as expected, SchneeTronic brand- fans they could find on full blast towards them.

Most of the girls were splayed out on their beds, slick with sweat, sighing deeply at the heat. Yang turned over, patting her head with a wet towel to cool herself down.

"Too hot to do anything..." The brawler whined. "Too hot...I can't even lampshade how weird that last sentence sounded..."

"It's like this weather's _intended _to put us into situations like this." Weiss complained. Ruby, on the bunk above her, whimpered, rolling over to face down towards her girlfriend.

"Weeeiiiisss, you have ice powers! Can't you make it colder?"

"Ruby, my power is with _glyphs_, not _ice_. That would be my _sister_ who can make it colder, and Dust knows where _she_ is right now." The heiress remarked. "What I'd give to be in her room right now, it's probably colder in there..."

Blake was busy fanning herself with a folded up piece of blueprint paper, groaning. "And of course I can't even go out to work on my projects."  
Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I'd assume the _great _and _manly_ Blake Belladonna could _stand_ the heat."  
"I would, but Norn demanded I stay inside. For my own health." The catgirl sighed. "It's not like I'll die from heatstroke from a little sun, but I stayed in for her sake. That and I wouldn't want to be dragged back inside by a robot maid a head smaller than me.

That would just be _unmanly_."

Ruby lazily looked over to Yang. "Can we do something? I need to be distracted from how hot it is..."

"I would, but I don't even wanna get out of bed..." The brawler complained. The reaper responded by pouting, staring at her sister pleadingly.

"Pleaaaaase?"

"...ugh, fiiiineeee." Yang sighed, rolling out of bed ungracefully and landing on the floor with a yelp. She rubbed her rump softly, wincing. "Ow..."

"Be...careful, you idiot..." Weiss raised a finger limply, before putting it down. "I don't even have the energy to reprimand you. Confound this heat..."

"I know a good beach we could've gone to, but it's too far away and I got told a friend of mine reserved it..." Yang stated.

"You can _afford_ a private beach?"  
"Hey, our family's not that poor, Weiss...but, since we can't use that one and the other one's half a day away, I think we should see what we can watch."  
Blake perked up slightly, looking down at them. "We could watch Accel World."  
"That anime you guys wanted me to watch? Please tell me it's not like that accursed Madoka Magica or whatever you showed us, Xiao Long." The heiress warned. "Dust knows, I _still_ think that Homura girl suffered too much."

Yang finally wrenched herself off of the floor, pulling down her shirt over her exposed stomach. "No, no, it doesn't lie to you. Much. You'll see what we're talking about. We should totally watch it.

Oh, hang on."

She turned to the catgirl. "Blaaaaaakey, can you go out and grab, like, five hundred cans of Blue Cow or whatever you can find?"  
"Why me?"

"I'm too lazy and I'm setting up the computer so we can watch it. Come on, pleaaaaase?"

The catgirl groaned. "Fine, but Yang, you owe me for this."  
Ruby whistled. "Like Yang would say, whipped."  
"Shut it, Ruby. Yang's not my girlfriend." Blake sputtered out, clambering down from her bed. Yang frowned.

"Awwww. And I thought we made a good couple~"  
The catgirl blushed profusely, before hiding her cheeks with her hands, glaring at her. "S-shut up! Gggh...h-how can you be like this in this weather..."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "It seems no matter _what_ the circumstances, Yang just can't help being a pervert. And I thought you'd cut down on it."  
"I said I'd cut down on the antics, Weiss! Different thing! Besides, it's not fair if _you_ get to be tsundere and Blake gets to be manly, but _I_ don't get to be flirty! It's a rule of the world! Y'know, like Lucina being adorkable! Or Jaune being a butt monkey!"  
"Jaune's sister never struck me as adorable."  
"Not what I meant. And wrong person. Gah, let's just get this going before I get too hot to set this up..."

* * *

_Minutes later..._

With much groaning, moving of fans and wiping of sweat, team RWBY had finally gathered- on separate beanbags, for though Ruby had attempted to glomp Weiss to cool herself down, Weiss had forced her to sit on a different chair- to watch the anime.

Cans of rather generically-branded SchneeWasser soda were stacked beside each beanbag for convenience of drinking, and most of the fans were pointed towards their faces to keep them cool. Weiss looked over to Yang. "Can we start already? I'm already regretting my decision to wrench myself out of bed to do this stupid thing..."  
"Alright, alright, quit being so impatient." The brawler complained. "It's not like _we're_ suffering from the heat, either..."  
Ruby moaned. "It's too hot...can we turn the fans up?"  
"We've already got them at maximum blast. Any higher and we might short the power out in the dorm or something." Blake reminded her. "Just take a drink, it'll cool you down."

Weiss grasped the sides of her beanbag. "Alright, let's see what you got, Xiao Long."

_Episode 1_

"...that rotund boy is...the protagonist?" Weiss raised an eyebrow, curious. Yang smiled brightly.

"Haruyuki Arita, yep. Surprised, huh?"  
"I've seen protagonists with the faces of thugs and scars, but...I'll have to admit, seeing one who looks quite...rotund, yes, that's the polite word...that's curious."

"He's adorable. If only he existed in the real world so I could pick him up and hug him tight~"

Weiss gagged. "Even _him_?! Does your depravity know no bounds?!"  
"Sheesh, I'm not hitting on him, I'm saying I'd give the guy a hug! He deserves it. You'll see."

Ruby frowned as Haru was surrounded by students demanding their food from him. "I haven't seen this. Does he get bullied by those guys a lot?"

"Not for too long."

Weiss clenched her fist. "I see. Like Team CRDL used to be."

"...and now you know why he deserves hugs." The brawler declared triumphantly. "He's just so cuddly!"

"For once, I find I agree with you." The heiress muttered. "How dare those fools...I can see why he prefers the virtual world."  
"I like this guy because he reminds me of Simon. Whiny moron, ends up being pretty badass." Blake remarked.

Weiss stared at her. "Of course he'd be whiny, why wouldn't-"  
"When I say whiny, I mean Shinji Ikari-level whiny. Of course, that's a decade-old reference, so you won't get it, but believe me when I say he's...pretty whiny at times."  
The heiress' eyes narrowed. "I don't get the references you make that are _less_ than a year old, Belladonna."

Ruby frowned. "Oh come on! Chiyu was only trying to help! No need to just shrug her off like that!"

"...and now I can see what you mean." The heiress grumbled, facepalming. "He reminds me of Jaune already. And not in a good way."  
"Eh, it gets better. Pretty quickly, too." Yang pointed out. "Although those sandwiches he just threw away look pretty nice...damn it, Haru, don't you know starving kids could have those?!"  
"You mean _you_ could have those. And damned moron, you made her cry!" Weiss snapped. "You really are a coward...ggh..."

Yang chuckled. "There goes your sympathetic side."

"AND NOW YOU'RE WHINING BECAUSE SOMEONE'S BETTER THAN YOU?!" The heiress yelled. "YOU ARE SERIOUSLY GOING TO IRRITATE ME"

Blake flinched. "Quit yelling! Good Dust."

"...and now, the main girl comes on. I could totally rock Kuroyukihime's costume." Yang remarked, licking her lips. Weiss cringed.

"Your depravity truly knows no limits."

"Like I said, I promised to stop my antics or limit those. I never said I'd stop being a flirt."

Blake facepalmed, shaking her head. "One of these days, that's going to bite you in the backside."

"I've had enough things bite me in the backside, thanks very much." The brawler remarked.

Weiss continued watching the anime. "Also, those moronic bullies are back...and what are you doing, you crazy lady?! Letting him punch h-okay, well, now there's a time stop function. Excellent. Well.

Acceleration of brain waves...well, the name is apt. And you are one sneaky, sneaky girl..." Weiss rubbed her chin. "Excellent plan, getting him caught by the cameras..."

Yang nodded. "Well, it is pretty smart."

"...what kind of screwed up dream is this?! This looks like something out of that Persona game you love playing!" Weiss snapped. "All those masked weirdoes...and what kind of symbolic dream is tha-wait, wait, what's going on! Is he...oh, wonderful , the moron ignored his advice and linked to the internet and now he's about to fight."

The heiress sighed. "Of course, he's the protagonist. He'll probably win with ease."  
Yang held up a finger. "Wait patiently and see."

_Episode 2_

"...so he was _defeated_?!" Weiss stared in disbelief. "My Dust, the protagonist lost their first fight. This anime really _is_ unique..."

Yang crossed her arms triumphantly. "Why do you think I like this anime so much? It does things most anime don't. I say most, of course- there's probably a couple of times the protagonist loses their first fight and so on, but this is one of the few we know of..."

"...and what do you know, she did _say_ so..." Ruby sighed. "Well, still, it's worth it."

Weiss took a sip of her drink. "So it's a fighting game...that's also an online game...that's also based around a points system. Alright. Well."  
"The author isn't the best at writing video games properly." Yang admitted. "I won't mince words here, and Elf-sama is free to yell at me for disagreeing with him over this."

Blake shrugged. "Still, better than his _last_ well-known attempt."

"Why are we taking potshots at that? The fans will kill us!"  
Weiss cleared her throat. "Would you two shut up? I'm trying to watch this! I haven't got any idea what you're both talking about anyway!"

Yang frowned. "Right, right."

"And now I know why you like Kuroyukihime so much. The woman's a _shameless pervert._" Weiss grumbled.

Yang rolled her eyes. "Oh, she only said he's her boyfriend! It's not like she said they had se-"

"Yang!" The heiress declared.

"Oh, right, this is a T-rated fic. Not allowed to say that." The brawler rolled her eyes. "Although why they get to say 'fuck' all the time in the _other_ fic-ow! Weiss!"

"Quit swearing!" Weiss snapped, rubbing her hand, having hit the brawler.

Ruby cheered. "Rematch! Rematch!"

"Hopefully, he wins this time. As much as I _was_ surprised he was beaten, I'd rather he actually _wins_ this time." Weiss admitted. "Dust knows the boy needs it...

...Hm. Genius. Use the motorcycle against him and smack him off of it, making him powerless. Seems that pervert woman's brains rubbed off on him."

Yang groaned. "You're just going to call Kuroyukihime 'pervert woman' from now on, aren't you?"  
"The way she dresses and acts around that boy, she already reminds me of you around Blake."  
"D-don't even bring me into this!" The catgirl cried, ashamed.

_Episode 3_

Weiss growled. "I swear. And now you say you're _dating_ him to his best friend? At least _take the boy out to dinner_ first!"

"You just sound like Glynda now." Yang remarked wistfully.

"Well, she can _hardly_ call it a _date_ if she doesn't even _go out_ with him!"

"...what kind of stupid game is that?" Ruby complained at Kuroyukihime's explanation of the game the protagonists played. "Really, a game that uninstalls itself if you lose? Permanently? Sounds like that one Mac game that deleted your files if you shot the enemies and itself if you got destroyed..."

Weiss looked over at Yang. "I see what you mean about not knowing how to write games properly...and they took it seriously enough to have a treaty. And she betrayed someone by killing one of the other Kings, of which she's one of them?

Good Dust, this is dark. For a _video game_ anime."

Ruby tilted her head. "Huh. I bet this Cyan Pile guy's one of the main characters. Chiyu, maybe?"  
"They suspect her, but even I didn't believe it." The brawler admitted. "I mean, she IS a main character, but..."  
Weiss shook her head. "I bet it's that Taku guy who's dating her. He seems too important not to be involved in these shenan-HARU WHAT ARE YOU DOING GOOD DUST"

"He's just investigating to find out if she's Cyan Pile-"  
"HE DIDN'T HAVE TO GET SO CLOSE TO HER WHAT IS HE A PERVERT"

Blake sighed. "This is going to keep happening, isn't it."

"...a backdoor program? What, someone's stalking her?" Ruby inquired. "That's creepy. And weird."  
"Like I said, I suspect that Taku guy. It's always those types of characters, the unassuming-looking guys in anime who happen to be absolute jerks as boyfriends for some reason." The heiress huffed. "If only people realised how things work in real life..."

* * *

_Episode 4_

"PERVERT DISGUSTING PERVERT WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Weiss shrieked, pointing at the rather interesting dream Haru was having on screen. "HOW DARE YOU"

Yang looked jealous. "I kinda want to join in-"  
"OH YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR HAVING THAT DREAM YOU PERVERT" The heiress roared.

The brawler shrugged in response. "Eh, if I was surrounded by hot girls, I'd have those kinda dreams too. Just saying, but having the school idol fall for you is pretty awesome. Rubes would know all about that."  
The reaper giggled, blushing slightly. "Mhm~"

"...and now she's jealous because he used a tiny cable? What, is that some sort of metaphor for kissing?" The heiress sighed. "And I thought I got away from these kinds of perverted anime...why does he like him so much anyway?"

"He's cute as a button, a nice guy and teasing him is pretty fun?" Yang pointed out. "The way I see it, the only reason people bully him so much is that he's a wimp.

It's like why people like Jaune. Only Jaune isn't all that cute, he's handsome."

"No way that pervert woman can be jealous when she spends all her time hitting on you?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Haru, you're being thrown a bone here so to speak, take it...

...and you call yourself a pawn?! Good Dust, your self-esteem really is shot. She's outright _telling you she loves you and you're a complete-GAH!_"

The heiress breathed heavily, trying to restrain her urge to punch faces in. "...yes, Kuroyukihime, _slap_ that idiot. He's _blind_. Completely _blind_!"

'_...right, I forgot, he's about as dense as Robin and Natsuru combined.'_ Yang recalled, shaking her head.

"...What kind of jerk crashes a car into someone for revenge?!" Ruby cried. "What?! And Kuroyukihime, no! What?!"  
Weiss winced. "...it's too early, so I know she can't be dead yet, but taking a car to the side _has_ to hurt, especially without Aura. Even _with _Aura, it'd hurt...

...and that moron better believe she loves him or I will personally _reach through that screen and beat it into him._ She took a car for him, he'd better believe it!"

Yang chuckled. "Oooh, getting into it, are we?"  
"I just hate it when the protagonist is too dense to realise their feelings for their love interests." The heiress remarked. "It's stupid."

Blake raised an eyebrow curiously. Weiss glared at her.

"What are you giving me that look for?!"

"...I knew it. I knew that Taku guy was behind it." The heiress declared. "I know things! I can predict them! See? I'm not genre blind!"

Yang sighed. "We've never said you weren't..."

_Episode 5_

"He may be your friend, but you'd better kick his backside before he beats you!" Weiss roared as Haru challenged Taku to a battle. "Come on, fight-oh, right...your Duel Avatar, or whatever, is weak...great."

"In hindsight, he should've thought that part of his plan through before trying it." Blake commented. "If this guy thought he could take a Queen- one of the best players- on by himself..."

"...and I knew he'd be a jealous scumbag." The heiress seethed. "Why are they always like this?"

Yang shrugged. "Drama. It's up there with 'killing the cute little sister figure' and 'tragic miscommunication'."

Ruby cheered. "Oh! Oh, we're getting to the good part! He's ended up next to her sleeping body!"  
"He'll likely get some sort of-right, yep, he got boosted and wait, he can fly?" The heiress raised an eyebrow. "Now that's ...not a surprise, but still, that's a shocker. How's he supposed to beat him still?"

The brawler shrugged. "By doing _that_."

Weiss rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "...that's a bit of an unfair advantage, being able to carry your opponents and bash them into the ground from _that_ high...but, then, that makes up for him being weaker than rice paper.

Wait...you just _forgave_ that scumbag?! That...gggh...he'd better redeem himself for doing that, or someone's getting executed for letting this be a thing." The heiress sat back down, shaking her head at the revelation.

Yang took a sip of her drink. "Well, admittedly, having low self-esteem, thinking your girlfriend doesn't love you and then having this magical game that allows you to have better reflexes than Batman given to you _might_ screw you up mentally, but he's been friends with him longer than that game's existed, so I doubt they'll be enemies long."

"...well, at least she's fine." Ruby sighed in relief. "Kury...bah, her name's too long! Why is it too long?! Why can't she use a name like Tohru or Homura or something?!"

_Episode 6_

"...well, I didn't expect Chiyu to take the whole thing well, given that everyone seems to be taking this blasted game too seriously, but..." Weiss sighed, before turning to Yang. "I don't understand the level up system in this game. So he can use his points to upgrade and loses out on those time-stop or whatever abilities?"  
Yang shrugged. "Pretty much. I think."

"...and you're not taking the points? Haru, you've played video games for too long to _not_ take the help! What are you, some sort of heroic warrior or something?!" The heiress snapped.

Ruby frowned. "Hey, it's a gamer thing. You wouldn't understand."  
"Well, you do suck at games, no wonder you wouldn't." Yang remarked. Weiss glared at her for the umpteenth time.

"Would you _shut up _about me?! This is about that moron not taking help when it's handed to him on a silver platter! Grah!

And he's willing to give his real life identity and risk himself to get a bodyguard to help him get points, but not your friend-Haru, you may be a sympathetic moron, but sometimes, I want to punch you as much as I want to punch Jaune." Weiss muttered, rubbing her temples.

The brawler shrugged. "It's a gamer thing. Aaaaand this is a hilarious part..."  
Ruby giggled. "Oh, he just smacked _right_ into the bodyguard he hired? And she's acting all Yuki-like too. Wow. I like her already."

"...I don't. She sounds like she's running some sort of extortion thing, with having to pay for it with money and your real life identity..."

Yang clapped. "And this is one of my favourite parts."  
"What the...Kuroyukihime, why did you just challenge him to a fight?!" Weiss stared at the screen as the aforementioned girl challenged Taku to a duel.

"And that...will have to be answered next episode, dearies." Yang remarked, smirking.

* * *

**To be continued...**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the other 18 or so episodes of Accel World. I confess, I'm trying to make it clearer what I'm talking about, as I write these chapters as commentary on the actual episodes rather than description, so it helps if you watch while you read these. Kinda like RiffTrax, only free, crappier and far less well-written.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, criticisms, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	86. Weiss Reacts to Accel World, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Accel World, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Wow, well, I'm surprised people still come back to read this after such a long time of me not updating or providing crappy updates. So, not much to say here except thanks guys, for a year or so of your patronage, and you're all awesome, and we hope that you guys stay awesome until the very end! Also, after this chapter is put up, I will be putting up a poll for you guys to vote which one of these you guys want featured; Attack on Titan, Code Geass, or a random selection from my archive of good fanfics, the FNDM's Finest.**

**Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get this chapter out of the way!  
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there'd be a nice omake of the characters acting as Animated Actors (and I totally want to use that idea for after Weiss Reacts ends).**

**Accel World belongs to Reki Kawahara. Warning for spoilers.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_Episode 7_

Weiss rubbed her chin. "...so he quit that club because of his period as a jerk. Wonderful. He's definitely doing more to atone than any other such fool I've seen."

Yang smirked. "You really are a genius about these kinds of stories now."  
"It's come from four years of dealing with you." The heiress remarked. "I've had you spoil more stories and shows than any person should watch in their free time."

"Awww. I love you too~"

"...well, clichés will be clichés, and it seems he ends up being an accidental pervert." Ruby commented, sighing. "Oh well, at least it was nice while it lasted..."

Blake rubbed her chin. "You know, I like this series, but the dialogue can be pretty...awkward sometimes. I'd call it narmy, if that wouldn't be narmy either."

"...this Aqua Current person really does remind me of Yuki..." Yang mused. "...except more trolly. Like seriously, leaving him to die and then coming to save him at the last second?"

Weiss winced. "Why must they always do that? Trickster mentors, seriously..."  
The brawler waved her off, sipping her own drink. "Please, you don't get to whine until you've trained under Lie Ren for two months. Good Dust, he's a good teacher-"  
"Well, that's what you get for training under the Antic Grandmaster, or whatever you people call him." The heiress snapped back. "I still don't understand how Ozpin hasn't put a stop to this Antic Order nonsense..."

"Atonement it is...if only he wasn't so stupid about going for it..." Weiss muttered, rubbing her temples. "Deleting that blasted game isn't going to help you atone for it. Actually doing something to make up for being a jerk boyfriend _will_."

Ruby frowned. "Pure water is a terrible conductor? Someone tell the guys at Game Freak that, please."

"Shush, Ruby." Her sister warned. "This isn't the time for those kinds of references."  
Blake rolled her eyes. "You make worse references every day. It's like the fourth wall doesn't exist to you."  
"Pfft. Please, I just want to follow in the path of the legendary Merc with a Mouth himself. If only he'd show up and grace us with his beloved presence!" Yang pleaded. "I mean, the fans would love it..."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "You're making up excuses. And who's this Merc with a Mouth anyway? I haven't a clue."  
"Deadpool. You mustn't go on the Dustnet often." Blake remarked.

"He's, like, one of the legends of the Antic Order!" Yang exclaimed, squeeing happily. "Only the likes of O-Zelretch-sama and Reflet can come CLOSE to his antics. Of course, Zelretch DID drop a moon on someone, so..."

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose. "If I knew even a _little_ of what you said, I'd smack you. Although if this Deadpool personality is idolised by the Antic Order, he can't be good news at all...

...and what do you know, this Taku person DOES transfer to their school after that peptalk. As perverted as this...pervert woman is, her name is far too ridiculously long for me to say quickly, she has quite excellent charisma." The heiress admitted.

"So you do like Kuroyukihime!"

"...she's still a damned pervert, so no, I don't."  
"Just admit it~"  
"I'm not being...whatever you call it, tsundere or whatever. I just don't like her." Weiss stated coldly.

_Episode 8_

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "...a cute cousin character who comes out of complete nowhere into the protagonist's life and calls him brother? This sounds far too much like those weird _imouto heroine_ light novels you hate, Yang."  
"...ohoho, I see what he did there. My little sister...ggh. This sickens me." The brawler seethed. "Don't you _dare_ compare dear Yuni-I mean Tomoko to those perverted things. What kind of a weirdo lusts after his little sister, anyway?"  
"Corrin might want to have a word with you on that." Blake remarked, looking up from her drink.

"If he dares touch any of those adorable cinnamon buns, heads will _roll_ and I will _personally_ march over there and-"

Weiss cleared her throat violently. "Ahem! Watching something!"

Ruby frowned, taking a sip of her drink. "Tomoko seems far too nice to be real. I think it's probably going to subvert that."  
"This anime has yet to disappoint me in subverting the usual tropes. It had better achieve this one, too. And...damned pervert! Can you not fawn over...gggh." The heiress shuddered. "...well, at least I was right, and Haru's far savvier than the usual protagonist...and she's the queen of the Red Legion? And a psychotic foulmouth? And she beats him, too? With a giant...fortress thing with anti-aircraft missiles?

That was a twist. Wait, why does she have those? Isn't Haru's thing the only one that can fly?"

Yang held up a finger. "There's another one...technically. You'll see it when we get to that part later."

Blake whistled. "I've been trying to work on replicating the Red Queen's Enhanced Armament for ages, actually. I mean, it's the second-closest Accel World gets to humongous mecha."

"_Second_?" Weiss raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh please don't tell me there's worse-Haru, what are you doing? Are you going to kiss your mentor's hand or...okay, no, just make a speech about her mattering more to you than anyone.

And you wonder why she's in love with you at all. Damned moron."

_Episode 9_

Weiss tilted her head. "Hmph. So her name is Yuniko, hm? Interesting."

"How?" Yang inquired, tilting her head.

"It just is. Now shush." The heiress held up her finger. "I'm trying to watch this."

"...you know, I never understood how she was planning on borrowing Haru's wings." Blake stated, as the aforementioned Red Queen requested the use of the protagonist's wings. "If I recall, those wings are locked to a character, barring some serious shenanigans."

"...the Armour of Catastrophe. Blake, don't you dare get any ideas." The heiress warned her.

"An armour that possesses people and gets stronger? Nah, I'll pass." The catgirl waved her hand. "I'm interested in giant mecha, not crazy armour that does bad things to people."

Ruby held up a finger. "You know, she could just pick her up and carry her. She's a tiny person, even in the Accelerated World."

"I think she might have done that, actually." The catgirl nodded in agreement. "We'll see."

"...what. WHAT?!" The heiress twitched. "...and those two are going to stay the night? Why are all love interests always so clingy?! Gggh...

HARU YOU PERVERT HOW DARE YOU IMAGINE THEM BOTH NAKED ARE YOU YANG OR SOMETHING"

"I'd be offended, but I'm just me. I can't help it." The brawler shrugged, admitting her perversion. "It runs in the family. We Xiao Longs are loving people."

* * *

_Episode 10_

"Chiyu wants to join them in Brain Burst." Weiss rubbed her chin. "I don't see anything possibly coming from this. And yes, that was sarcastic."

Yang rolled her eyes. "As if sarcasm from the _great_ Weiss Schnee was _ever_ unexpected."

"Touché." The heiress retorted. "Alright, your point is made."

"Huh...so who gave Kurokimilimy her copy?" Ruby inquired, tilting her head. "If they betrayed her that badly, to the point she can't forgive them...they must've been close. Like a sister or something."

Weiss stared at her girlfriend. "Seriously? Her name isn't that hard to pronounce, just ridiculously long-winded."  
"It's too hot for me to think straight!" The reaper whined. "You think straight for me, Weiss..."  
Weiss stared at her incredulously. "...Ruby, I love you very much, and I probably wouldn't be able to live without you, but that is the single stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. And I've lived with you for four years and helped you through more pieces of homework than Yang has ever passed."

"Hey!" The brawler snapped. "Not cool! I just find it hard to do crappy homework than physical trials that are actually relevant!"

Blake crossed her arms, nodding. "Huh, so they did fly across hanging on each other. Cool..."  
Weiss sighed. "Predictable. Knowing how they all seem to be at each other's throats, these legions, I was waiting for one of those other kings to start using this Armour of Catastrophe's rampage as an excuse to ambush someone."  
Yang rubbed her chin. "You know...the Yellow King sounds familiar...I dunno why, but I think he does. I love his jester motif, though."

_Episode 11_

"Of course, the completely not-evil-looking jester Yellow Radio was _totally_ not going to be behind these shenanigans." Weiss remarked. "Seriously, you would think that these gamers would at least see THAT coming, even if he is another player."  
Yang whistled. "If it's any consolation, at least Yellow Radio wasn't introduced early on, so you can't exactly accuse them of being genre blind."

Blake shrugged. "True, that. Also...Kuroyukihime, you lack manliness. How could he reminding you of what you did in the past break you that bad? You're supposed to be the uber-badass sexy mentor!"

"Good Dust, Blake, just because she has issues- and I am _not_ referring to her perversion- does not mean she isn't...whatever you mean by manly! I thought we went through this when those girls from Japan beat you!" Weiss snapped irritably. Blake shrugged.

"I'm contractually obligated to make references to manliness. It's nice to have something that sets you apart, you know." The catgirl responded matter-of-factly. "If I'm honest, though, it must be rough for her to go through that kind of trauma. Over a video game, granted, but one that, if I'm right, alters the mind and screws with it."

Weiss rubbed her chin curiously. "I'm curious about what kind of authorities allowed games like Brain Burst if they had that kind of effect on people's psyches."

Ruby tilted her head. "Oooh. Taku redeemed himself quickly from the whole 'jerky boyfriend' phase. It's nice to know they do get redeemed, at least. I hate it when someone's completely unredeemable."

"I still don't trust him, but he doesn't grate on me as much. Probably because he's had the stuffing beaten out of him for the last couple of episodes." The heiress admitted. "And he has the good sense to _sincerely_ befriend the protagonist again, which makes him savvier than ninety-percent of bastard boyfriends."

Blake took a sip of her own can, cheering. "Hey, Haru roused his girlfriend! And I forgot quite a bit of this anime, but...was the fight between Yellow Radio and Black Lotus this awesome?"  
"It was!" Yang squeed, cheering. "However..."

Weiss grumbled. "Of course, everyone forgets the giant monster of kill everything they came to kill off in the first place. At least that scumbag jester gets his just desserts, even if it doesn't kill him..."

_Episode 12_

"...YUNIKO YOU CRAZY WOMAN WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING THE PEOPLE YOU SENT TO HELP YOU KILL THAT THING" Weiss shrieked at the screen. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING"  
Yang flinched. "Calm down! Sheesh, hasn't it been established Niko's a complete madwoman?"  
"Treason is bad and she should feel bad." Ruby huffed, crossing her arms. "Although that's a really stupid idea to attack another Queen who just finished wiping the floor with a stronger one..."

Yang cringed. "...oh my. I remember this part...I always felt sorry for the guy in the armour."

"...there's a person in the armour? I forgot." Weiss sighed. "To think someone would be driven to using an armour that literally screws with your actual psyche to that extent...

...Brain Burst seriously needs more beta testers if there are things that literally do things to one's mind."  
"...eeesh. She had to be the one who killed him." Ruby frowned. "That's...that's rough, even for her."

Weiss sighed exasperatedly. "This game really is being taken far too seriously. But, then, I suppose, a game that allows you to have the reflexes of a trained Hunter for almost free, and mindwipes you should you get it uninstalled grants far too much real life consequences not to."

"And all's well that ends well. Niko gets to talk to her friend out of the game, Haru took a level in badass and Kuroyukihime is over her whole traitor thing." Yang clapped. "And now the most irritating arc comes up!"  
"Irritating?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "Coming from you, I'm actually scared."  
The brawler frowned, looking a little offended. "I've been trying to clean up my act, y'know. I want the fans to like me again, and I'm a little hurt you're doing that."  
"...sorry." The heiress shook her head. "Even if I don't know what...fans you're talking about, that was uncalled for."

* * *

_Episode 13_

"...firstly, someone pick up the phone because I _called_ Chiyu joining the heroes in Brain Burst." Weiss remarked triumphantly. "Secondly...is this Noumi the bad guy?"  
Yang clapped. "How did you guess?"  
"He's not doing anything and I already want to slap him, the smug idiot." The heiress remarked. "Props to whoever played him for somehow managing to make him hateable before we actually _see_ him do anything."

"...you know, with the voice, the looks and the healing powers, Chiyu sounds like someone from another anime..." Ruby remarked, rubbing her chin. "...Usagi? Hinata? No, no...can't think of who."

Weiss frowned. "How come _she's_ decent at playing that game already?"  
This time, it was Blake's turn to remark at Weiss. "She's _not_ decent, _you_ just can't play games and think that's decent."  
"...fair enough."  
"Oh come on!" Yang cried, offended. "Why is it okay when _she_ says it but not when _I_ do?!"

"...and of course, like our beloved jerk boyfriend of a guy from the first couple of episodes, this Noumi person is a cheater." Weiss muttered. "Not bad yet, but we'll see..."

Yang cringed, remembering the events of later episodes. "Oh, you will see. You'll see, alright."

_Episode 14_

Weiss sighed. "It's just utterly convenient that Kuroyukihime, the one person who could put a scupper on this scumbag's plans, just _had_ to be on a school trip when her boyfriend had to deal with him, isn't it?"  
"Rather convenient indeed." Yang nodded in response. "I think that's the only excuse Kawahara could come up with to have her not just stomp Noumi into the ground the moment he messed with Haru out of sheer protective-girlfriendness. I mean, considering how good she is at the game, she could probably literally kill him, over and over, until he ran out of Burst Points and the game uninstalled itself."

"...oh wow." Ruby blinked. "Of course ,blackmail. It's always blackmail. Genius blackmail, but blackmail."

"...and you now know why that's irritating to do." The heiress commented, turning to Yang, who blanched.

"N-now just hold a second! One, Noumi's a jerk who, as you can see, wants to use it to get Burst Points so he can cheat on games more, whereas I just want to ship people together, and two, it's not like I basically _alter your reality_ to blackmail you!"

_Episode 15  
_"And he can steal people's abilities. Including Haru's wings." The heiress clenched her fist. "...and he's bragging about it, too? ...the little rat, I hate him, I hate him, I _hate him_."

Yang nodded, patting her on the back. "I know the feels. Noumi's a bastard. And...ggh...the creepy undertones of that...just...holding someone that close..."

"...and so, his character development into a badass was undone by him losing his wings." Blake commented, rubbing her temples in irritation. "Well, not so different to what happened to Simon...and he's even lost his mentor, too, if temporarily. You know, if he's talking to her, why doesn't he get her to stomp him into the ground anyway? She would basically die for him, he's seen her almost do it!"  
Yang shrugged. "Honour? The fact that if Noumi dies while having stolen Haru's wings, he might not get them back? We don't know if the whole ontological inertia thing applies here, y'know."  
"...wait. The biker guy from the second episode helps him?" Ruby looked incredulously at the screen. "That guy? ...That was a heck of a setup."  
Weiss chuckled. "To think he of all people would be the one to help the hero out of his depression. I'd like to see what kind of player would live on top of a mountain that tall though, especially with no stairs and the one person with wings in the whole game having them stolen..."

_Episode 16_

"Sky Raker? She...already reminds me of Winter, for some reason." Weiss mused.

Blake smirked. "Incarnate System. One of the things I loved about this anime, it basically had Spiral Power, but instead of making huge drills from it, you could use it to make blades, giant swords, cannons and stuff. More versatile, still as manly."

"...well, this should be an interesting training montage, with Haru trying to climb a mountain with, literally, his bare hands..." The heiress remarked, rubbing her chin. "...and that's just convenient, isn't it? It turned to _metal_."

Yang shrugged. "Eh, stuff happens. He's lucky it didn't turn to sponge or something."

"...Dust, he actually_ did_ climb a mountain with his bare hands..." Weiss looked at the screen in shock. "...good Dust. I give him too little credit.

And the real life Sky Raker...she actually even_ looks_ like my sister, only with brown hair! What the-"  
"No, your sister's naive and nowhere near as...sagely as Sky Raker is." Yang pointed out. "She's also _way_ bustier. Way too busty. Seriously, looking at you, Weiss, _how_ is Winter so _stacked_?! That's ridiculous!"

"D-don't ask me! G-genetics just isn't kind to me! N-not that...n-not my chest isn't adequate..."

* * *

_Episode 17_

"...again, I say this." Weiss breathed in deeply. "If it wasn't for the risk of you losing your wings, Haru, you should _call your violently protective girlfriend in to stomp this Noumi's head in and teach him some manners."_

"Taku, challenging a person who can steal powers and stole the only pair of wings in the game?" Ruby whistled. "He's got courage, I'll give him that. Good Dust, especially when you think about the fact that his weapon amounts to an exploding spear he impales people with and good Dust that sounds wrong."

"You think?" Weiss remarked, staring at her. "Why did you have to use those specific words?"

"It's a perfect description!"

"Not...not really, if it sounds like that."

"...and predictably, Taku, in the grand tradition of the likes of Worf, Berserker and Captain America, gets obliterated because Noumi's just _that_ powerful. Well, to be fair, he _did_ try to take on a person whose powers include giant tentacles, wings and power stealing, with an exploding lance." Yang admitted. "Even without that trope, the odds just weren't for him."

"...Chiyu? CHIYU YOU TRAITOR HOW COULD YOU HE WAS NEARLY BEATEN AND YOU JUST HEALED HIM WHY" The heiress snapped, growling at the screen as, indeed, the aforementioned girl stopped Noumi from dying.

"...and even the traitor thing? Gggh...I know I know who Chiyu's like..." Ruby remarked, tapping her temple to jog her memory. "Ugh...who?!"

_Episodes 18-19_

Weiss cried out in exasperation. "Oh come on! That was a ridiculous cliffhanger! Seriously?! We're focusing on that pervert woman's school trip?"  
"...this part's pretty boring. All it does is set up one villain who hasn't come back yet and some reins to control beasts or something." Yang admitted. "We can some it up as the only part of the anime Blake likes."  
"What?" The heiress turned towards Blake, who shrugged.

"It's the part of the anime where there's a legitimate humongous mecha made from scrap." The catgirl stated, giggling. "It's pretty fun, but otherwise, there's nothing much else in this. Just a bunch of fun fights and some foreshadowing which doesn't pay off unless you read the light novels."  
Weiss sighed, looking back to the screen. "Well, if that's the case, then we should just skip to episode...twenty?"  
"Twenty, yeah."  
"Alright, then. There we go."

* * *

_Episode 20_

"So _that's_ where the Armour of Catastrophe went." The heiress realised. "...it latched onto Haru and gave him an evil side. This...ought to be interesting...and DAMMIT THE TIME RAN OUT."

Ruby pouted. "That was so close! Come on! He nearly beat him!"

"There's still four episodes left. Noumi's still around for those, sadly..." Yang reminded them, frowning. "...and dammit, Chiyu, you're a terrible liar. Even if I _didn't_ know what happens, you're making it pretty obvious you didn't join that bastard for power."

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "She had me fooled, for one."  
The brawler punched the air, irritated. "Dammit! I spoiled that part! Well...it was pretty obvious, anyway. She's not the type to just backstab her best friends like that, you've seen enough of the anime to know."  
"True." The heiress shrugged. "...and, of course, the only person they can learn about this...Incarnate System from apart from Sky Raker is the psycho woman herself, Yuniko. It really does get weird how things boil down to such desperate stuff, no?"

_Episodes 21-22_

"...ouch." Weiss cringed. "...well, we at least know why this Taku person was such a jerk at the beginning. Getting bullied that bad and cut up, anyone would cave."  
"...and that somehow gets him an exploding lance?" Ruby raised an eyebrow. "I'd thought that would get you some serious armour. Well, more than he already has for his Avatar, anyway. Also, seriously? She's having way too much fun shooting them to train them up..."

Blake rubbed the back of her neck. "Blood Leopard's another one of my favourites. Seriously, her Avatar_ turns into a leopard_ and she's a ninja _maid_ in real life. That's...that's just awesome."  
"Rust Jigsaw? That can't be good." Weiss remarked. "Are we sure he isn't affiliated with Noumi somehow?"  
"Probably is. I mean, he's hiding like a coward from the matching lists, and Rust Jigsaw's not on the lists either..." Ruby deduced. "They're probably doing the same thing...aaaaaand it's, of course, an illegal brain chip that hides them."  
"Why would people get brain chips? Why would someone _that young_ get something implanted in their _brains_?!" The heiress cried. "That's just stupid! And over the top for a _game_!"

_Episodes 23-24_

Weiss glared at the screen. "Gggh...that's ridiculously cowardly. Of _course_, he gets his conveniently hidden ally to trap Haru and make sure he can't fight. Seriously, I hate this guy already, and knowing that he got bullied by his older brother _into_ that doesn't make him that much more sympathetic, just _pitiful_."  
Ruby joined her girlfriend in glaring. "...and he takes his healer hostage to make Taku not fight? Wow. Just...he's...he's a douche."

"Finally! _Finally_, the pervert woman returns to show this idiot what for!" Weiss cried. "I'm actually _happy_ to see Kuroyu...I can't be bothered to say her name, it's far too long. Seriously, where did she come up with the idea for that one?! I speak _German_ and that's easier to say than her name!"

The reaper pumped her fist. "Yes! Of course! I knew Chiyu had to be planning something, and that...just that was genius, taking his wings back using her healing power! Which, apparently, is actually time manipulation or something!

Dammit, I know she's definitely similar to someone else I know now!"

"...and Haru finishes the jerk, rightfully." The heiress smiled, smugly. "Excellent, to see him defeated so utterly. Nice to know that at least _some_ jerks get their comeuppance.

And he's far nicer without Brain Burst? See? That's what I'm saying! Games like these need to be tested better!"

* * *

"...and that ending's just plain adorable!" Ruby squeed, giggling. "That's...those two hugging like that? Come on!"

Yang sighed. "Yeah...I suppose. Well...I guess we're done with Accel World. You guys really liked it, I think.

...and it's _still hot._"

"...Dust dammit." Weiss closed her eyes, sighing. "...you're right. It was a fun series...but it's still steaming hot! And it's nearly night time!"

Blake groaned. "...at least it'll be colder later."

Needless to say, the night was marked with being an unusually warm night for Vale summers. At the very least, the girls had one blissful afternoon of enjoying themselves watching something, with precious little antics, and precious little insanity, for once.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter...the one, the only thing you've been waiting for, the Lucina Reacts/Weiss Reacts crossover. Due to the nature of the story, it will be uploaded as a separate story marked as a crossover in RWBY/Fire Emblem. So those of you guys following and favoriting me, you'll know when it's out, and look around on when it's released, those of you just lurking!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews, and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	87. Important Crossover Update

**Hi, everyone! ElfCollaborator here! No update today, just a small heads up.**

**The Lucina Reacts/Weiss Reacts crossover is now up as ****'The Best Reactsverse Crossover'****, in the ****RWBY/FE crossover section****. Be advised that while this story is not going to be updated while the crossover is ongoing, the events of said crossover will be referred to and canon to both stories. There may also be some (or quite a few) minor plot developments that may become important later on, which you will miss without reading the story. There may also be some teasers towards the next installment of the Reactsverse, Corrin Reacts, set in the world of Fire Emblem Fates, as well as Weiss Reacts Volume 3, the last volume of Weiss Reacts itself.**

**So yeah, just a little heads up. Feel free to ignore the crossover-if, say, you're not a big fan of RWBY or FE, but I'm leaving a fair warning for my valued readers that there may be some plot developments you will miss if you skip the crossover.**

**With that, have a good day and I'll see you guys back after the crossover's over!**


	88. Weiss Reacts to Valkyria Chronicles!

**Weiss Reacts to Valkyria Chronicles!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, we'll have to announce the winner of the last poll, which is now closed as of the posting of this chapter. The winner was, as expected, Code Geass, and we will be featuring R1 in the coming chapters.**

**Regarding my new situation in college however, I announce that I may have to post less due to an increased amount of homework, advanced reading and such to take care of, so sadly, there may not be a return to the regular updates we had before the summer. Apologies, but that's how life goes. This goes for Lucina Reacts and any other fics I do as well.**

**With that in mind, let's get on with this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise GODS ABOVE THEY GOT EDWARD ELRIC'S VA TO VOICE QROW TOO BUSY SQUEEING TO DISCLAIMER  
Valkyria Chronicles belongs to Sega. Warning for minor spoilers.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"You guys got ten times more boring!" Yang whined, pouting and crossing her arms. "Come on! We just kicked butt with, what, a bunch of god-slaying badasses from another dimension! Aren't you guys pumped for anything?!"

Weiss had a neutral, vaguely unamused expression on her face as she sat at their desk, scrolling through the dorm's collective games library. "Eh."  
"Eh? Eh?!" Yang stared at her in disbelief. "EH?! For Dust's sake, we met the _actual _Lucina, not the rip-off Jaune's sister is! The actual, bona-fide, Falchion-wielding, dragon-slaying Lucina!"

"Eh." The heiress shrugged. "I live in a dorm with you and an insane mech pilot who regularly pilots a reality-warping giant robot. Compared to that, that was nothing."  
"…..you three have no sense of adventure!" The brawler complained. "Come on!"

Blake snuggled up in her blanket, reading a book. "I'm tired. I can't be bothered to do anything."

"Shush." Ruby held up a finger, petting Crescent Rose- currently unfolded and resting in the bed next to her, replete with an eyemask slung on top of the blade- and tucking her blanket over it. "Cress is sleeping."

Yang huffed and crossed her arms, indignant. "You guys really are useless. I should've hung out with Rufu some more. At least she's more _fun_."

"Yeah, whatever, sure, just quit whining." The heiress waved her off, continuing to examine the library. "Wait, wait, what?"

"Huh?" Yang turned to her, looking at the screen curiously. "What's going on?"  
"…..when did we get Valkyria Chronicles? Dust, what _is_ Valkyria Chronicles?" Weiss pointed at the screen, where indeed, an icon for the above game was present on her desktop.

Yang stared at it briefly, thinking carefully. She blinked, trying to think about where the game came from, before snapping her fingers in realisation.

"Oh, right! I bought it because it was on sale and I had a bit of money left over." The brawler explained. "I wanted to get around to actually playing it, but y'know, training and shenanigans."

"That makes so much sense." Weiss sighed, nodding. "Well, regardless, it looks interesting. Do you mind if I have a go?"  
"Well, the last time you played a game, you got owned by a narcoleptic girl with gaming skills, so-"  
"Don't remind me about that Chiaki girl…." Weiss grumbled, seething. "I swear, it's like she's unreal or something! How can anyone be so ridiculously good at games?!"

"Eheheh…..yeah…" Yang laughed nervously, hoping to move the topic away from the AI they had managed to currently occupy with several copies of various first person shooters at once in Blake's hangar- speaking of which, she needed to check on Nanami with Blake.

Unlike Norn's AI, which was magically induced by Life Dust, Nanami's was the product of one prototype and years of programming by both her original creator and Blake, and thus very prone to glitching, being one of the very first extant completely naturally manmade AI in the world. Her narcolepsy was used to hide the glitching, but Blake resolved to fix the glitching at some point.

Of course, they'd succeeded in making a more human-like one than the product of years of study that created Penny, so the glitches were a fair price to pay to have one capable of truly simulating a person. Better than the other one, at any rate.

She was digressing, of course. This was the first time Weiss had picked up a game since Nanami had thrashed her at Team Fortress. Knowing Weiss, it sounded like a fun thing.

"Ahem!" Weiss cleared her throat. "Yang, do you mind if I try your game?"  
"O-oh!" The brawler blinked, snapping out of her fugue. "Sure, go ahead. Right, yeah."  
Weiss shook her head. "Tch. You weird me out sometimes. It's like you know something I don't."

"Hehehe….yeah, yeah, just get on playing." Yang insisted. "You're cool. Just don't do any DLC that I may have bought or stuff, kay?"  
The heiress regarded her suspiciously, staring shiftily at the brawler, before shrugging.

"You're just too suspicious at times…." Weiss muttered, shaking her head. She sighed, booting up the game.

* * *

_Chapter 0_

"Alright." Weiss cracked her knuckles. "So…..blah blah blah, generic empire is invading innocent little Gallia. Alright. When do I get to start the reign of the Holy Schnee Empire?"

"You're obsessed with the Holy Schnee Empire." Yang remarked. "You want to start that every game you play."

"The Holy Schnee Empire is an honourable aim! HONORABLE!" Weiss snapped. "Now shush. I'm listening to the narration."

"Good Dust, this girl shouldn't be in charge of her company, let alone a country…." The brawler quipped, whistling.

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Alright. So…..this….this Welkin guy, he's the son of a famous general, and yet the local police don't _recognise him_?!"

"….you serious?" Yang looked dumbfounded. "What?"  
"Some police you people are. And his adop-wait, wait, wait a second." The heiress paused. "…..his adopted sister's called Isara? And his last name's….Gunther, right?"  
Yang nodded. "Seems like it, so far as the cutscenes are telling us."  
"….I just realised," The heiress started. "Don't _we_ have an Isara Gunther in our year? She even looks and sounds like the one in game and even wears that shawl, too."

"You're right, we do!" Yang nodded. "She's that girl who Nora dragged into Tankery Club, wasn't she? The new girl? She's the one who helped with finding the teleporter trail back during the Festival too."  
"…..that's a strange coincidence. Very strange indeed." The heiress mused. "We'll have to ask her if she's heard about this game before."  
"Heh. Maybe it was based on her life or something. Y'know, like RWBY was for ours, only I'm more awesome than they made me." Yang remarked cheekily. "Oh, look, an actual fight!"

Weiss smirked. "Oh, finally. We can begin the rule of the Holy Schnee Empire! Die, pathetic pretenders!"

….

"That was easy." The heiress scoffed, having swept through the first map in two turns with the best rank. "Pathetic, for a bunch of invaders.

If that's all they have, this so-called war with Gallia won't last long."

"That was the tutorial." Yang pointed out helpfully. "It's meant to be easy."  
Weiss shushed her. "Be quiet, you know not what you dare degrade.

Heh. This war will be my chance to FINALLY put the Holy Schnee Empire into practice."  
"Please, you couldn't put it into place the last time you had elite soldiers under your control." The brawler shot back.

"Be q-quiet!"

_Chapter 1_

"Right. The university man who doesn't want to join the army, and the baker girl who would rather bake bread than fight. Why am I not convinced those two won't end up in the army?" Weiss commented.

Yang rolled her eyes. "Alright, Weiss, you don't have to rub in the fact that you're actually genre savvy now."  
"You've been doing that to me for the last three years, Yang! You're one to talk!" The heiress shot back.

"Yeah, but I'm awesome. You don't have an excuse."

The heiress rolled her eyes right back. "Tch.

And these fools still want to invade Bruhl? They were annihilated by an apprentice baker and a university student!"

"A small group was annihilated by a university student and an apprentice baker." Yang corrected her.

"Be silent. They were still annihilated!" Weiss cried as she continued, surveying the map of the battlefield. "Pathetic! That's all they send after us, a bunch of scouts? Again? Do they not understand when they're beaten?

And all the game wants me to do is kill their leader? Tch. Easy."

'_Is it me, or whenever Weiss plays a game, _I'm_ the sane one?'_ Yang mused, a smirk forming on her face.

"Tch. Convenient that Alicia has a grenade, although I question why, of all people, a baker-turned-militiaperson has any form of explosives to begin with." Weiss mused, before throwing it into the leader of the scouts to kill him instantly. "…..hah! Easy fight!"

Yang wagged her finger. "Not yet it isn't."  
Weiss stared at the screen in disbelief, watching as the invading force decided to bring in heavier armaments.

In this case, a light tank appeared on the battlefield.

"Cowards! You had to bring in a pathetic tank? I will STILL be-"The heiress was interrupted by the new objective.

"…..of course we run away from this pathetic tank. Fine." Weiss rolled her eyes. "I'll accept it. For now."

Yang giggled. "You're really getting into this, aren't you?"  
"This game is testing my skill, and I refuse to lose! I've had enough of games humiliating me, whether be it through glitches or through some sort of super-gamer beating me at it!" Weiss declared.

"I swear, this will be the first game I will be good at. THE FIRST!"

_Chapter 2_

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Oh, how mature. Calling a pregnant woman fat. Alright, whatever- and they call you professional.

Although Isara's one trick hand with a rifle, for a girl her age. I think."

"…..alright, this has to be more than a coincidence." Yang commented, as the Edelweiss tank was revealed. "I mean….it's weird that they're keeping a _tank_ in the barn, and a little convenient….but I'm _pretty _sure that's the _same_ tank our Isara was working on."

"….that's about as weird as when Lucina met our Lucina." Weiss nodded in agreement. "It's….a little weird.

And seriously? Now Welkin knows how to run a tank?! Ggh…this story just gets more unlikely by the minute. Oh well, at least I can annihilate these Imperial fools who think they can face me. All I need do is wait a few turns…."

….

"Success! You fools!" Weiss declared triumphantly. "You cannot face the wrath of the Holy Schnee Empire! Professional soldiers getting thrashed by a bunch of barely-adults with a decades old tank….pfft.

I'd hate to be their commander."  
Yang smirked. "You're seriously enjoying this."  
"It helps you're not rigging it this time, like you've done almost every _other_ time!" The heiress snapped.

"I've rigged it once, Weiss. Once. Get over it."  
"STILL!"

* * *

_Chapter 3_

Weiss scoffed in disbelief as the narrator described the empire's takeover of Gallia. "Really? The morons couldn't win against a university student, a baker, and a little girl armed with an old, banged-up tank, and you expect me to believe they beat the whole country?

They must have some sort of secret weapon to do that."  
"True, true." Yang shrugged, agreeing. "…..and really, Welkin, you compare her to a rhinoceros.

I don't know much about this Alicia, but I know girls, and I don't think I'd appreciate being called a rhinoceros. I personally prefer a sexy kitten~"  
"More like a blonde brute." Weiss quipped.

"S-shush! You don't understand the sexy!"

"I'm sure I do. I live with the only person on this earth considered sexier than you."  
"B-be quiet…." The brawler looked more sullen suddenly.

"Capture and hold the west bank. Alright. Should be easy." The heiress breathed in. "Especially with this group. They should hold up not at all against me…."

….

"Ggh. Of course. Sending several tanks and they still can't stop me." Weiss declared as she won yet another mission at the highest rank. "They really should brush up their skills."

Yang smiled. "Good for you. You're actually good at this game."  
"Hey, when I'm given a chance at being good, I _will_ be good." The heiress shot back.

"What's this about Weiss being good at a game?" Blake commented, looking down at them.

"Weiss is actually pretty good at this one game I bought to play but never did." The brawler explained. "It's amazing, in a way."  
The catgirl chuckled, clambering down from her bed. "Oh, I've got to see this."

_Chapter 4_

"How atrocious." Weiss turned her nose up. "This…Rosie woman reminds me of Cardin back in his worst days. Racism….tch."

Blake twitched, shaking her head. "I'm sure she gets better. I doubt any good game except, I dunno, a black comedy would have an unrepentant racist as a main character."

"The hell is wrong being Darcsen anyway?" Yang mused. "If it wasn't for the cat ears, Blake and Ren could pass for that. Seriously, black hair is grounds for discrimination now?"  
"….okay, now that just sounds silly, although I'd assume it's not just that and more cultural differences." The heiress responded. "….and be silent, peasants! Challenging my authority…fine! We'll just have to prove you wrong!"

…..

"…What. We…..did we seriously drive a tank underneath a river to attack them?" Weiss inquired, disbelieving. "That…..well…..that's just insane. That sounds like something you'd come up with, Blake.

It worked, anyway. Morons didn't even see it coming. These scouts are far too useful for their own good."  
The catgirl scoffed. "You kidding? No, I'd just blow the bridge up. Screw that."

"…..why did I feel like you'd answer like that?"

_Chapter 5_

Weiss facepalmed, exasperated. "A serious security breach like that? How did they NOT notice a path while they were setting up a base?! Morons! Setting all of two or three guards…."

"Hey, actual landmines." Yang whistled. "Finally."  
"No match for our tank." The heiress reminded her as she marched up one of her shocktroopers down the aforementioned path to take out more of the guards. "Not even close."

Blake shook her head. "You're actually worth something at this game. Not a single casualty yet, and you're playing riskily, too."  
The heiress smirked. "Of course. I intend to finish this game and prove to the world that I, Weiss Schnee, am capable of finishing a game without failing at it!"

"…..well, can't say that's not a noble goal." The brawler admitted.

Weiss started laughing as the boss of the stage, a massive tank with an equally massive gun, dwarfing her own tank, appeared.

"Pathetic! That's all they have? That will not stop me from annihilating them. Not at all!" The heiress declared, laughing maniacally.

Indeed, within two turns, Weiss had wiped out almost every other unit on the stage except the tank, courtesy of a sniper planted on a cliff facing the camp and lucky placement.

She secured the base objective, laughing again.  
"Tch. We didn't stop the fools from evacuating…..but we still annihilated them." Weiss declared proudly. "The Holy Schnee Empire is growing!"  
"Holy Schnee Empire?" Blake inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"It's Gallia, not the Holy Schnee Empire." Yang corrected her. "Weiss is just power-mad because she's good at this."

* * *

_Chapter 6_

"Dark arts?" Weiss inquired, as the battlefield- a barren wasteland- had its origin described. "And of course, as expected, it's blamed on Darcsens like Isara.

I'd personally expect someone like Professor Faust to have accidentally done that. Whatever they think the Darcsens are capable of, it's nothing compared to what that woman does in her spare time for science or whatever twisted reason she has."

Blake rubbed her chin, thinking. "Knowing the genre, it probably wasn't the Darcsens and they just got framed by history or something."

Yang shrugged. "True enough."  
…..

"Easy." Weiss scoffed as she completed the mission in four turns, having managed to annihilate the enemy again. "Not even a challenge."  
Blake clapped. "I must say, you're a trick hand at this. Maybe you rigged it."  
"Unlike you, I don't rig _anything_. I'm far above such useless antics." The heiress declared. "Heh. If this is how easy the game is, then I'm going to simply surge through the rest of it."

_Chapter 7_

"….a bunch of ruins built by the precursor Valkyrur or whatever, and of course, the completely unassuming baker girl can open it." Weiss scoffed. "Alright, well, we already know _she_ has something to do with them."

Yang facepalmed. "Seriously. SERIOUSLY. You...dammit, Welkin, you're supposed to be a genius and you had the enemy prince in front of you and DIDN'T KILL HIM?!"  
"He had that bodyguard of his." Blake pointed out. "And judging by her looks, she probably would've dropped them before any of them could fire a shot."  
"Still! I doubt she can stop bullets that easily! Dammit!"

Weiss laughed as the battlefield for this chapter was revealed. "Of course! The prince brings his stupidly large tank.

Alright. This should be a breeze like last time."

….

_Thirty minutes later…._

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" The heiress roared.

Most of the other missions, she had swept through the battles with ease, with masterful troop placement and excellent aim from her.

Here, however, she was stuck. The giant tank the enemy had called in had managed to obliterate the Edelweiss in one turn twice. Her lancers- anti-tank troopers- were being pounded by the anti-personnel turrets on the sides of the tank, or sniped from behind by enemy snipers. And to compound matters, this had been her third try.

"Come on…..fourth time's the charm…." Weiss declared, restarting the mission yet again…..and watching as, despite her best efforts, the Edelweiss was annihilated on the first turn the enemy got, despite all the damage it took.

"…..gggh…..SCREW THIS!" The heiress yelled, standing up and walking off, leaving the room and slamming the door behind her.

Blake sighed wistfully. "Well…..guess that was too good to last."  
"…..yeah." Yang shrugged. "Too good to last indeed.

…eh. I'll have a go. At least _someone_ in this dorm has to be able to beat that tank."

* * *

An hour later, Yang shut off the game, having made even less progress than Weiss did in beating said tank.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Fun fact: That's not me being lazy. As of this writing, I STILL haven't gotten past Chapter 7 in VC myself. The Batomys- the enemy tank I left unnamed- is a pain in the backside. Google it if you don't believe me, you'll see about ten guides to get past chapter 7 alone.**

**Next chapter, Weiss Reacts to Sick Episodes! We really do need a sick episode for once. Don't worry, Code Geass will be featured- or rather, R1 will be- soon.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	89. Yang Reacts to Sick Episodes!

**Yang Reacts to Sick Episodes!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Firstly, I'm pretty happy you guys are so psyched for the Code Geass chapter, but as I said, it may be a bit late or lower in quality- despite my best attempts- due to college workloads, so I do duly apologise in advance. Secondly…..something. I dunno. I forget. Anyway, back to shenanigans before I have a ton of homework dumped on me or something! Woo.**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have an entire episode devoted to Blake. (Seriously, canon!Blake's my second favourite character next to Weiss.)**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Yang had her arms crossed, frowning. "…well? Anything wrong?"

"Just a little glitching involving Nanami's processor, trying to process non game-related input taxes her." Blake commented, her fingers a blur on the terminal. "I can fix it. Thank Dust her creator handed over some documentation on her coding. I must say….this Fujisaki guy, he should really work with Penny's dad. They'd make the best robot ever. And then the Spiral Energy upgrades…."

The catgirl started drooling. Yang shook her head, chuckling.

"Blake, that's not like you."  
"A robot with the ability to generate Aura, Spiral Energy, with the intelligence of Penny AND the human-ness of Nanami? That'd be the perfect robot! The likes of Aigis and Nano would _pale_ in comparison. As an engineer, I'm _obligated_ to drool over it in a manly manner."

Yang and Blake were currently in the latter's underground hangar. The catgirl was making repairs to the Nanami AI, attempting to fix the glitching on a special terminal they had set up- apart from the normal input screen, there was a screen above displaying the graphically-rendered pink-haired avatar they'd designed for her, and several speakers for her to speak through- in the shadow of Blake's designed mecha. Nanami herself was quite happily occupied with attempting to beat Chapter Seven on Valkyria Chronicles- the very level that had stumped Weiss and Yang two days before.

"Alright, Nanami, we're all done." The catgirl pressed enter, saving the last changes to the code. "It'll take a while for the changes to be permanent. Just take a rest after you're finished."

"Thanks…." The gamer AI responded, vocalising a soft yawn. "…..I was….getting sleepy anyways….just…..can you say hi to Weiss again for me? She was fun to play with….."

"No problem. Good night." Blake nodded, powering off her input program.

Yang giggled. "You never _did_ tell me why she was so sleepy. I mean, you said it was to mask the glitching."  
"It was. Of course, as an AI, it's probably just a learned behaviour for her by now." Blake explained. "And I wouldn't be able to remove it anyway. I'm a woman of mechas and everything that isn't stupid, heretical boring tanks."

The brawler tilted her head. "Where did you learn to make mecha anyway?"  
"Heh. You learn a lot when you work on old Schnee robots." The catgirl shot back. "That and _manliness_. MANLINESS!"

A moment passed. Yang raised a finger to catch Blake's attention.

"Blakey? You…..alright?" The brawler inquired, frowning.

"Huh?" Blake blinked, confused. "Yes, why?"  
"You look a little pale. Is everything alright?"

The catgirl scoffed. "I'm just fine. Really. I'm too manly to fall to mere mortal illnesses!"

Blake stood up from her seat to grab a sandwich and immediately collapsed to her knee, wincing. Yang's eyes widened as she caught her partner quickly in her arms. "Blake!"  
"Ugh…..I need an aspirin….." The catgirl muttered, shaking her head. "….I'm fine…."

* * *

_Minutes later…._

"Thirty-eight point eight." Beth diagnosed, raising her thermometer from Blake's armpit. The catgirl was lying in Yang's bed, her normally hale face pale with illness, with Beth and Tohru by her bedside, carrying medical bags. "She has a fever, alright."

Ruby looked concerned for her friend, looking down at Beth. "She'll be alright, right?"

Weiss frowned. "I knew you'd overwork yourself eventually, Blake."

"Nonsense…." The catgirl muttered weakly. "This is n-nothing to a…..real man…."  
Beth tutted irritably, putting the thermometer away in her medical bag. "None of that real man nonsense. You're sick, Belladonna, and I can finally take a break from you blowing up the school every other day. Stay in bed. Doctor's orders.

Don't worry, Ruby. She'll be fine. Just keep her away from her mecha for a day or two and her fever will go away. No need for any medicines, except the ones any sane person would keep in their medicine cabinets. Her Aura should help with the healing.

Sadly, we can't take her to the infirmary yet to properly take care of her, so we're going to need to keep her here until tomorrow. Miss Honda will take care of her for now."

"On it!" Tohru stood up, hefting the bag with both hands before Yang shook her head.

"Let me take care of her!" The brawler commanded. Tohru frowned.

"But….Miss Lupin said I should do it-"  
"Dammit, I helped raise Ruby, I can deal with Blake myself!" Yang reminded her. Ruby nodded in assent.

"She's right, she did help raise me."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "I shudder to think of anyone being raised by Yang, of all people…."

Beth sighed, shaking her head. "…..well, fine. Just don't get yourself sick.

Now if you excuse me, Miss Honda and I have to go clear out pests from Faust's office again, so thanks for handing me back my assistant."  
"Yep! She has giant cockroaches again." Tohru stated with a little frown. "It's not so bad. At least they don't have tentacles like last time…."

"Or were Cinder in disguise. That woman's obsessed with putting you in skimpy clothing for some reason…." Beth muttered, irritated, before turning to team RWBY. "We'll see you around."

Weiss opened the door to let the two staff members out, nodding them through, before shutting it and staring at Yang.

"What are you _thinking_? Do you honestly think you can take care of Blake by yourself?"  
"Oh, come off it. Big sisters are _always_ good at taking care of their siblings!" The brawler reassured her. "I'm guessing Win-oh. Oh, right."  
"…yeah." Weiss nodded. "….she didn't get the chance to. Siegmund, and all."  
"…..I'm sorry about that." The brawler frowned. "I shouldn't-"  
"Don't be. It was in the past." Weiss reminded her. "But….I suppose we can trust you, if Ruby says you raised her-"  
"She did! I mean, obviously Mom was there and Dad was, but Yang always helped!" The reaper cried.

"When you say Mom, you mean-"  
"Of course I mean Yin! She's just as much my mom as my real one!"

"Besides, this isn't the first time I've treated a person through a fever. Blake's in my capable hands!" Yang held up her thumbs, grinning. "I know the usual way you treat people with a fever- give them aspirin, warm soup…..sponge baths….."

The brawler started drooling at the idea of giving Blake a sponge bath. Weiss closed her eyes, before slapping the brawler.

"Idiotic _pervert_!" The heiress snapped. "Don't you know _any_ decency?"

"Don't be s-silly…." Blake grumbled, trying to pull herself out of bed. "T-this sickness won't….get the best of me…..ggh…"

The catgirl slumped back, groaning. Ruby frowned.

"Come on Blake, stay in bed. You know what Miss Lupin said, you're supposed to rest!"

"Screw….t-that…." The catgirl wheezed out. "I can still….I don't need….gaah…"

Blake's head sunk back into her pillows. "…..screw this…..I'm fine, really…"

Yang smiled at her friends. "Just leave this to me. I can handle Blakey~"  
Weiss looked to Ruby for assistance. "…..do you seriously trust Yang to take care of her?"  
"She's not _that_ bad, she can take care of someone! I mean….I'm pretty sure we can get Norn to help out if her cooking goes wrong again…." The reaper pointed out helpfully.

Yang glared at her. "Don't you guys _dare_ get her anywhere near me! It took me _hours_ to clean out the extinguisher foam! Trust me, I can _handle_ Blake."

The heiress closed her eyes, breathing heavily for a second, before sighing. "…..if she's worse when we get back, we're getting Miss Honda to get her out. Fine.

Ruby, we're going out to Vale for the rest of the day."

"Are you sure?" The reaper looked to her. "We can stay if you want, you don't have-"  
"If or when Yang screws it up, we'll be far enough away not to be covered in extinguisher foam." Weiss quipped. "Come on, let's go."

'_I hope Ruby's right, for Blake's sake.'_ The heiress mused.

Yang pouted indignantly at the pair as they walked out of the dorm. "Ye of little faith, prepared to be proven wrong by my sheer awesomeness!

Operation Get Blake Better is go!"

"…..I'm fine…." Blake muttered, before letting out a series of throaty coughs, wincing and sinking back into the bed. "….dammit…"

The brawler stood next to Blake, looking down at her and smiling.

"Just take a nap, kitten. I'll have some food ready for you when you wake up~"  
"Dammit….d-don't call me….kitten…" Blake remarked, shuddering. "….o-only my….d-dad….calls me kitten….f-fine…"

The catgirl slowly turned over, grumbling and closing her eyes to sleep under Yang's supervision.

When her breathing calmed down, signifying she was in deep sleep, the brawler cracked her knuckles and turned to her worst enemy that wasn't Norn armed with a fire extinguisher.

The dorm's old, slightly dented electric stove.

Yang cracked her knuckles, preparing for the first time she had ever used the stove since the time she had attempted to make breakfast for the team. She shuddered at the memory.

"…no. Never again." The brawler declared, a determined flame in her eyes. "I'll just have to do this! For Blakey! And to shut Weiss up!"

* * *

_An hour later…._

"Ugh…." Blake's eyelids fluttered open as she slowly rolled over, wiping her eyes. The first thing the catgirl could feel was the smell of….chicken soup?

Her ears perked up. '_…did Yang seriously cook?_'

"Hey, kitten." Yang's smiling face leaned down towards her, giggling. "You hungry~?"  
"….n-no…" The catgirl shook her head. "I can-"  
She was cut off by the sound of her stomach rumbling. Yang smiled.

"…i-ignore that…."  
"Come on, Blake, I just want to help you get better." The brawler reminded her cheerily before standing up and taking a small laptray with a bowl of chicken soup perched on top from the desk next to her.

Blake finally realised what Yang was wearing- the brawler was clad in nothing but a yellow apron, tied tightly over her bosom in particular, covering her from the top of her chest to just under her knees.

The catgirl's cheeks flushed, flustered by her partner's lack of clothing. "…..Y-Yang, why are you…"  
"It was a little hot in here~" The brawler responded, smirking mischievously. "Like what you see?"  
"N-no! No…." Blake shook her head rigorously, embarrassed, trying to wrench her eyes away from the sight of the apron, trying not to imagine what was underneath-

'_No, no, NO! Bad Blake! I can't….no!'_ The catgirl tried to erase the thoughts from her head.

"Besides, it's like thirty degrees in here." Yang admitted as she plopped the tray over Blake's lap. "And I just spent the last hour digging out chicken for you so I could make you some soup. Come on, have some!"

The catgirl suspiciously sniffed the bowl, frowning. "….you didn't…..microwave this, did you?"  
"What? No! Of course not! I made it myself!" Yang responded, looking offended. "How could you say such a thing?"

"W-with respect…." Blake started, coughing. "….you n-nearly set the d-dorm on fire w-when you tried to fry b-bacon…."  
"If you must know, I didn't screw up like last time." Yang huffed, irritated. "Just have your soup. You need to get better."

Blake sighed, taking up the spoon provided and slowly scooping up the liquid in the bowl into it, before taking a sip.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "….that's actually pretty g-good. W-what did you do to it?"  
"I cooked it. Do you seriously think I can't cook?" The brawler looked at her in shock. "Trust me, I can make a good soup when you-"  
"Y-you…..looked it up on the Dustnet, didn't y-you…."  
"…..no arguments there." The brawler sighed, unable to come up with a better lie. "Yeah, I did. It's still pretty good, though, right?"  
"…I-I suppose…" Blake admitted, nodding before going into another fit of coughing. "…..gguuhh….I really need something…..b-big….you know? Like….some tuna…."  
"Alright! I am at your beck and call, madam!" Yang stood up, saluting, and giving Blake yet another good look at the ridiculously form-fitting apron that-

'_Blake, no, you _don't_ think of Yang like that! NO!'_

"C-could you….p-put….some clothes…on…." Blake requested. The brawler pouted indignantly for the umpteenth time, but sighed, reaching behind her back to remove the knot keeping the apron on.

"Okay, _fine_, since you asked so nicely. It was getting pretty breezy, anyway, so I'll do it.

I don't mind if you want to watch me change, of course~"

Blake shuddered and turned away, letting the brawler change in private, much to her disappointment.

Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep again.

…

"Here you go, three tuna sandwiches!" Yang called, waking Blake again from her nap. The catgirl looked up at her blearily- she was now in a relatively more modest pink tank top with a large heart imprinted on it, and a pair of blue, incredibly short shorts, much to her relief. Her eyes settled on the tuna sandwiches on her plate.

The sandwiches were very well cut, the tuna well-cooked and caked in mayonnaise, with a hint of pepper here and there, surrounded with slices of pale cheese and topped off with white wheat bread. In short, almost exactly how Blake loved her tuna sandwiches.

"…h-how did you know…..I-I like them like that?" The catgirl inquired weakly.

Yang sighed. "Blakey, I've been in a dorm with you for three years. A girl learns how to pick up things. Now eat up, you need to get better."

"T-thanks…." Blake wheezed out, before taking one of the slices, taking a small bite out of it.

It was surprisingly delicious, especially considering Yang had made it for her. The catgirl looked surprised once more.

"….d-did you look this up on the D-Dustnet?"

"Are you kidding? No way." The brawler shook her head. "I just….figured I'd make you sandwiches like that. I thought you'd like it, seeing as that's the one you eat up all the time."  
"…you're…n-not bad at taking care of people…." The catgirl admitted, coughing. Yang frowned.

"Yeah, well, you're not good at getting better. Just eat your sandwiches and rest."

Blake smiled contentedly. "You….you're like my….m-mother….a-acting like a mother j-just isn't you…"  
"You learn when your real mom's always away teaching." The brawler admitted. "I did say I had to pitch in with dad. Mom wasn't always around, y'know."  
"….thank….y-you…." Blake muttered.

The brawler's cheeks turned a little red. "…..you know I'd do this for any…..friend, of mine, right? Yes, even Weiss, although I think she's a little too ice-cold to get colds. If you know what I mean~"

"…y-you're…..never like this normally…." Blake reminded her.

Yang sighed, shaking her head. "No, no I'm not.

But you're sick, and I need to help you out. I'm going to tease you a little, but I want you to get better quickly. I mean, this isn't the Blake I normally see and I kinda want her back. She's an awesome person.

…..and _damn_ do I sound clichéd."

"….I….can see why Ruby….a-always thinks of you as t-the best big sister e-ever…." The catgirl sleepily droned out, before returning to sleep.

Yang chuckled. "…..damn straight I'm the best big sister ever."

The brawler sat there for a bit, watching Blake sleep to make sure nothing happened to her.

Her features served to make her look peaceful in sleep; her delicate, thin eyelashes and pale skin lent a sort of doll-like quality to her- the kind one saw in antique shops, sold for countless hundreds, made of thin porcelain and hand-crafted with love. Her soft, thin lips were slightly open, taking deep breaths as she slept.

"…heh. I'm never letting anyone hear this….but Blake's…..actually…..pretty." Yang muttered, before blushing profusely. "…what am I saying?! I can't just call Blake pretty! She'd murder me….

Nobody can know. Not even Weiss. I'll have to solve this myself, but not right now, no. I've got….other things to think about, and so do you, Blake.

Dammit. All I can do with you is flirt….and you'll never take me seriously. I'll just…..have to figure out how to make you take me seriously.

One day."

The brawler sighed wistfully, shaking her head, as she continued to lazily watch her partner sleep, standing guard over her.

* * *

_Hours later…._

"…..ugh….." Blake shook herself awake, looking up. The sun was setting through the window of the dorm, and Yang was asleep on a chair next to her bed, her mouth open with a string of drool falling out from it.

The catgirl tentatively reached out a finger towards her. "…..Yang?"

"Gah! I'm not asleep!" The brawler snapped herself awake, wiping the drool from her mouth and sitting up straight. "I wasn't asleep! I wasn-oh, oh, it's just you, Blake."

The catgirl coughed. "…..how long….h-have you been sitting there…."

"…I think…..about five hours?" Yang responded, counting the hours on her fingers. "…..yeah, five hours.

I think I fell asleep about fifteen minutes ago. Thought I'd take a quick power nap, y'know?"

"….y-you….you're a good friend, you know?" Blake muttered feverishly. "…..you're so niiiceee…."  
Yang blushed a little, shaking her head. "It's nothing, really."

"…..you…..can you do something for me?" The catgirl inquired plaintively.

"What? Do you want a bath? I can give you a sponge bath~"  
"No…no…..can you…..kiss me better?"

Yang stared at her, shocked. "…what?!"

"…..I….I think that would help…." The catgirl admitted. Yang shook her head.

"No. No way. You're too sick. _I'll_ catch it."

"B-but…..don't you….want to?" Blake responded, frowning. The brawler felt her chest tighten a little.

'…_..damn it. She heard me…I'll have to pretend I didn't say a thing.'_

The brawler shook her head. "…..no. I mean….it's not that you're not kissable, but….you're ill, and you're kinda contagious."  
"….b-but-" The catgirl whimpered. Yang sighed.

"…..when you're not ill and will definitely _remember_ it, then I'll give you a kiss, kay?" The brawler promised, smirking.

Blake coughed, before sighing. "I'll…hold you to that…..and owwww…..my head hurts…."

"Alright, I'll get you some aspirin." Yang held up her finger, nodding to her. "Just…..give me a second."

'_There's no way I'm kissing Blake while she's in this condition.'_ The brawler thought, shaking her head._ 'I mean, one, I'll get sick, but two, I'm sure I'm going to the special hell if I kiss a girl while she can't stop me. _

_That's scummy. No way. No. If I _ever_ kiss Blake, it'll be when we both know what we're getting into._

_And damn am I getting into serious stuff right now.'_

"H-hey…..thanks for…..taking care of me today…." Blake wheezed out, smiling weakly. "…y-you're a …..good friend."

Yang sighed deeply. "Yeah. Thanks."

She pressed a glass of water and a tablet into her hands. "Here, some meds and a glass to take it with. Don't chew."  
"….t-thank you…." The catgirl responded, pressing the tablet into her mouth and downing it with a gulp of water.

"…you feel better?"  
"A little. My head hurts a little….less…..but that isn't the meds yet…."

The brawler patted her shoulder. "Don't worry. Just rest.

You'll be fine soon."

….

"We're back!" Weiss called as she opened the door to the dorm, carrying several bags of cookie-related merchandise- she and Ruby had gone to the recently opened Cookieworld Theme Park, operated by the same company who ran Pancake Land- with Ruby tagging behind.

Yang raised a finger, shushing her. "Be quiet!"  
"…..how's Blake?" The heiress whispered across.

"She's getting better." The brawler responded, pressing a wet cloth on Blake's head to cool her down. "….her fever's gone down by point-three degrees, and it's been going down for a while now."

"Really?" Ruby looked excited. "She'll be fine by tomorrow?"

"Keep it down! She's sleeping." Her sister warned. "But…..yes. She'll be fine tomorrow. Hopefully."

Weiss smiled. "I'm impressed."  
"Like I said." Yang smirked. "I'm the best at taking care of people."

'_Please, Dust, don't let Blake remember anything I said while she was ill.'_

* * *

Through the night, Blake made a full recovery from her illness, no longer necessitating her being moved to the infirmary.

Much to Yang's relief, she didn't remember a single thing she'd said.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Just a little experimental chapter with me teasing Blake/Yang, and tinkering with some writing techniques, I apologise if it was bad. **

**I'm saving all that for next volume anyway, we've only got about eleven chapters of Volume Two left anyway, which makes doing the whole romantic subplot now pointless.**

**Next time, as promised, Weiss Reacts to Code Geass!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, reviews and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	90. Weiss Reacts to Code Geass R1, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Code Geass R1, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Today, we'll be doing the most requested thing to put into a Reacts chapter, Code Geass! Please be advised that as clarified several times prior, for personal reasons, I will not cover R2, only R1. That kept in mind, however, there's another thing I will have to confirm here; Yang and Blake's relationship will not be resolved in this volume. One, we only have ten chapters left in the volume which I've already planned out, and two, I have a plan for that which will need next volume to play out.**

**However, with that in mind, let's get on with this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be jokes about a Hadaka Apron in it. (Screw your child friendly shenanigans, this is Rooster Teeth.)**

**Code Geass belongs to Sunrise. Minor spoilers abound.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Shocking. So you actually managed to take care of Blake." Weiss remarked, raising an eyebrow at Yang. "Maybe Ruby's right about you."  
"Oh come on. I'm not that bad!" The brawler protested. "I mean, come on. I couldn't just leave poor Blakey in bed with the sniffles all day!"

"You know, I can't remember anything about that day." Blake pointed out. "For all I know, she could've left me there the whole day."

The brawler looked at her, shocked. "Blake! Traitor!"

'_Besides…..there's no way I'm telling anyone what happened there. No, that's my own problem to deal with. And thank Dust she doesn't remember, either….Dust knows what would happen if she did.'_

Weiss just looked to Blake, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Interesting-"  
"But it's just not in Yang to abandon a friend like that. You've seen it enough times." The catgirl pointed out, shrugging. "It's just not manly to, you know! Just not manly."

"…I'm still sceptical, but maybe it's because she's Yang." The heiress sighed, shaking her head. "Fine, I'll accept that Yang might, actually, have a little _hint_ of knowing the slightest thing about taking care of someone who may or may not be ill."

The brawler smirked. "See? You can't deny my awesomeness. I'm, like, the best big sister ever! Blakey AND Rubes know I'm the best, so just accept it, Weiss~"  
"Tch." The heiress scoffed, shaking her head. "That'll be the day. Next thing you'll tell me, pigs will fly and Hell will freeze over, oh, and Professor Faust will actually get a date with that weird Slen person!"  
"I'm hurt!" Yang protested, clutching her chest and pretending to swoon from being offended.

Ruby frowned. "I'm a little bored. Can we do something fun?"

"…..well, we could watch some of the anime we've got stocked in the dorm." Yang suggested, shrugging. "I mean, ever since Jaune's sisters came to Beacon, I was thinking that…..you know, we should watch….gah, I forget! Oh, Code Geass!"

"You mean that anime with the guy with the eye thing that allows him to hypnotise people?" Ruby inquired, curious.

"…..close. Anyway…..don't any of you think that….err, what's her name…Euphemia! Yeah, don't any of you think Euphemia looks like she's the one from Code Geass?" The brawler inquired excitedly. Blake shook her head.

"I wouldn't get ahead of yourself there. That's the same thing you said about Isara and Valkyria Chronicles. I work with the Lagann and _I_ personally think that's just quite unlikely."  
"Well….gah, you guys'll see." The brawler promised. "I mean, seriously! I thought we actually had the real one going to our school, and what with Faust accidentally opening portals to Ylisse and all, that could make sense, right? Right?"  
Weiss rolled her eyes. "I somehow doubt that's what happened. Just break the anime out already."

Yang grumbled as she stood up to go get everything ready. "You guys are no fun whatsoever, you know that? I'll get the stuff, you guys get snacks."

"Yang seems to be getting crazier and crazier every day." Weiss mused, turning to Ruby. "Is she always like this?"  
"She _did _once go mad when she thought we had some girl called 'Ika Musume' in Signal and tried to prove it." The reaper admitted. "Turns out she just had very long blue hair and liked squids a lot."

"Wonderful." The heiress muttered. "Well, let's go get the stuff, kay? We still have some of those Cookieworld cookie dough ice cream."  
"YAY!" Ruby cheered, happy. "We should go to Cookieworld with everyone next time!"  
"Especially as we're _still_ banned from Pancake Land, _no_ thanks to Nora…." Weiss muttered, irritated.

In hindsight, letting someone like Nora near the largest batter bowl in all of the Four Kingdoms while she was in one of her 'praise the Sloth Gods' moods was a terrible idea.

* * *

_Minutes later…._

Team RWBY, for the umpteenth time in so many months, was gathered on couches in front of their dorm's TV, with Ruby clutching a tub of cookie dough ice cream in her lap, while Yang clicked one last thing on the player before moving back to sit next to Blake.

"I have the best seat in the house~" The brawler remarked, smirking and sidling up to the catgirl. Blake blushed profusely, shaking her head. "Q-quit it…."  
"Oh come on. I'm just having a little fun, Blakey~ You're kinda adorable when you blush~"

Weiss cleared her throat. "Would you quit being a pervert?"  
"Oh, fine, fine." The brawler shifted away from Blake. "I just can't help myself around sexy girls."  
What Blake did in that moment could be accurately described as a combination of her falling over, coughing, screaming and laughing.

Ruby looked curiously at her teammate. "Blake? Are you alright?"  
The heiress seethed, glaring at the brawler. "…..ggh. Just….start the stupid thing before I smack you around, you stupid pervert…."

"Alright, alright, I've had my fun." Yang sighed, chuckling and sparing Blake one more look. "We'll get on with this stuff already, Miss Bossyboots."

"Sometimes, I wonder if anything gets through that thick skull of yours." Weiss remarked snappily. "Whatever."

_The Day A New Demon Was Born_

"Holy Britannian Empire. Sound familiar to you, Weiss?" Yang responded, smirking.

Weiss scoffed. "Please. Those Britannians sound like a bunch of morons. True, they took over the rest of the world with robots, but if the rest of the world had them? They wouldn't even be an empire."

Blake rubbed her chin. "Hm. I'd forgotten how terrible the Knightmare Frames were this early in the series."  
"So that's where you got those from?" The heiress inquired. "I'd always thought they were from that other weird one with the depressed boy and the eldritch abominations."  
"There is no way in Hell that I'm daring to recreate the likes of Unit-01." The catgirl responded. "I may have the resources and skills to, but that's just _asking_ for trouble."

"Oh, here we go. Also, moron! You do NOT move the king that early!" The heiress snapped. "Never! What are you, Eddard Stark or something?"  
"You read those books?" Ruby questioned. The heiress shook her head.

"No, but I'm aware of his reputation for honour before reason."

Yang popped a piece of popcorn in her mouth, hugging a box of popcorn that she'd acquired minutes ago. "Dammit, Lelouch. How did you _not_ recognise Kallen? Or does she not join Ashford until later? I forget. It's been a while since I've watched this."  
"Heck if I know." Blake responded, shrugging. "….also, I forgot that Kallen was more of a bluenose than Weiss was."  
"Hey!"  
"I'm pretty sure that 'this badass mother' isn't going to have the same impact as finishing that sentence!"

"Poison gas. Right." Yang nodded. "That….sounds like the 'gas leak' excuse they use in just about everything ever. Points for the variation on gas though!"  
"….are you serious? It's just a weird woman in a straitjacket and they're killing a whole settlement over her?!" The heiress cried, shocked. "…..what kind of terrible government is this?"

Blake shook her head. "Ohohoho, she's not a _normal_ woman by any chance."

The heiress looked exasperated as, shortly, Blake was proven right. "…..oh, that's just convenient. He's about to get shot and then suddenly she can give him the power to make them shoot themselves. And isn't dead. Well.

Trust a teenager with a grudge and the smirk of the devil with the ability to make people do what he likes. _That_ isn't going to go wrong."

Yang scoffed. "Oh, it goes _horribly_ wrong."  
"I can imagine."  
"I meant for him."

_The White Knight Awakens_

"Of course, the professional-looking pilot woman trusts the shifty-looking teen who's killed about ten or so people." Weiss remarked, sighing. "Woman should be fired for not just shooting him dead."

Ruby frowned. "Well, true, I suppose. You'd think people would be just a little more savvy. I mean, he's standing in a pool of dead bodies!"

"And another thing; of _course_ Suzaku had a pocket watch in his back pocket that deflects bullets. Wonderful." The heiress muttered. "This anime already seems like it'll be a series of _extremely_ lucky coincidences."

Yang rolled her eyes. "You always complain about everything we watch."  
"No, I complain about things that irritate me and make no sense whatsoever." Weiss corrected her. "And how is Lelouch instantly good at commanding a military unit who don't trust him at all?! What is this?!"

Blake shrugged. "He IS a gifted kid. Probably learned military tactics at Ashford or something."  
"Still! Seriously?! At least our Jaune has had three or so years to learn how to command his team- we don't even see where Lelouch gets _his_ skills!" Weiss complained. "Come on!"

"Oh, right, the Lancelot." Blake snapped her fingers. "I….I really should do something about that one."  
"Seriously? You'd make it?" Yang inquired, curious.

"It sounds like a good challenge." The catgirl mused. "I think it'd be a good waste of time."

"…..well. It seems this Clovis fool had no actual checks for his security detail." Weiss muttered. "But, then again, security details weren't made to handle strangely-skilled teenagers with the ability to command people to do what they want."

_The False Classmate_

Weiss frowned. "….so that explains a lot about what I know about Nunnally. Good Dust…."

"That's rough." Ruby commented, shovelling a scoop of ice cream into her mouth. "That must've sucked."

"Clovis, we hardly knew ye." Yang announced, watching Lelouch kill him with a gun to the head at point blank. "May you be consigned to the pool of starter villains who were worth absolutely nothing and died worthlessly."

"And _now_ you realise sickly little Kallen is a resistance fighter! It wasn't like she even changed her hair that much!" The heiress snapped irritably. "For an intelligent man, you seem to be pulling quite a bit of it from places I refuse to mention."  
"See? Bluenose." The brawler remarked, smirking.

"Be quiet, Yang."

Ruby tutted, shaking her head. "Promising never to lie to her? Lelouch, dammit, don't make promises you can't keep! You're _already_ lying to her anyway, considering you didn't tell her about the whole 'you just shot your own half-brother' deal.

This is not going to end well when she finds out."  
"No, no it can't." Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "…..and come on, of _course_ Lelouch catches her in the shower. Just the _perfect_ opportunity to show off someone-YANG QUIT STARING"  
"I wasn't staring!" The brawler cried, before muttering. "Dust, a girl can't appreciate attractive women anymore…."

"…well…..wonderful. Now an innocent man's going to get killed for Lelouch playing hero." The heiress grumbled. "This is why people don't play hero, dammit."

_His Name is Zero_

"Kangaroo court-style antics." Weiss stared at the screen in disbelief. "Seriously? You'd need to shove that gun into Suzaku's hand and rub it all over him to prove its his!"  
Yang shrugged. "He's just an Eleven to them. Nobody'll care if he gets killed. Although seeing as he's one of the luckiest people ever, I wouldn't count on him not being executed."

"And, as expected, the morons shoot themselves in the foot by ridding themselves of their ace pilot to stop traitors." The heiress sighed. "This is why the Holy Schnee Empire is superior."  
"The Holy Schnee Empire doesn't even exist~"  
"Be quiet."

Ruby frowned again. "…..so you threaten people with fake poison gas _after_ you tell them not to harm any more innocents?"  
"…..this just gets stupider and stupider." Weiss muttered. "…..although that move, with making Jeremiah look guilty with that Orange comment, that was genius, I'll admit.

…..and he looks familiar too. Father always_ did_ talk about having a friend called Jeremiah he'd call Orange Boy…."

"See? And you're telling me it can't possibly be that Euphie Arc looks like Euphemia from Code Geass?" Yang cried, vindicated. "See?!"

* * *

_The Princess and the Witch_

"So the weird woman is immortal AND a freeloader. Wonderful." Weiss rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. "I weep for the poor man's mental health. At least she seems useful and competent, unlike most other freeloaders of her ilk."

"…..okay, Weiss, now see that pink-haired girl?" Yang pointed at the screen. " See? Look and listen to her. Does she or does she _not_ sound like Euphie Arc?"  
"….I don't see it." The heiress shook her head. "No, she doesn't."  
"Are you- dammit, Elf!" The brawler yelled. "Come on, throw me a bone here!"  
Blake nodded in agreement with Weiss. "She's right. I mean, I can see why you might say that, but there's no way that our Euphemia looks anything like their Euphemia."

"….I….I can't believe you guys are blind to that kinda stuff." The brawler looked down in disbelief. "….just…..dammit."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Anyway…..good Dust, this romance is sappy. Just kiss the girl already."  
"Dust, how do you think _we_ felt when you and Ruby were still going at it?" Blake shot at her.

"….touché, Belladonna. Touché. Also…good on this Euphemia person for standing up to those racists. At least she isn't a damsel-type princess.

Those types make me want to vomit."

Ruby clapped proudly. "Aaaaand she steps in the middle of a bunch of fighting giant robots to tell them to stand down? Good Dust."  
"Manliness at its finest." Blake remarked.

"…..and stupid. If they decided to shoot, she'd be a fine paste on the ground if it weren't for her new boyfriend being in a giant robot himself."

_The Stolen Mask_

"Lock your briefcase better next time!" Weiss snapped. "That cat nearly got you in trouble wearing that blasted mask!"

"Yeah, but at least they bonded, right?" Ruby pointed out. "It's pretty cute."

"…yes, at the cost of nearly revealing his identity and falling off a rooftop." The heiress reminded her. "What kind of bonding experience is that?!"

"The kind we have involves beating the pulp out of Grimm." Yang offered helpfully.  
"…..you have a point. I hate it when you have a point."

_Attack Cornelia_

Weiss seethed. "…..doesn't even value his own children…..figures. Of course someone like him would be a terrible father.

I bet he and Siegmund would get on great."

"You said it." Yang remarked, whistling. "That's just rough, treating your own kids as expendable. Although he had his reasons for it, I might add. Not spoiling them though."

"Crazy- you're so arrogant you're willing to shoot yourself just to get into a trap that you _know_ is a trap?! Just how confident in your own abilities are you?!" Weiss snapped. "Lelouch, you fool, one day that pride's going to bite you in the backside."

Blake shook her head. "Nope."  
"Are you serious?! He….GAH! Of course he manages to get everyone on his side, screws with them and…..aaaand his own arrogance bites him in the backside! I knew it!" The heiress declared triumphantly. "And quit whining about equal conditions. The woman's right, you _should_ be skilled enough to set up situations to your own advantage if you're a master tactician.

Tch. Robin should give him lessons in tactics, the amateur."

* * *

**To be continued…..**

* * *

**Episode Count: 7/25**

**A/N: Welp. Weiss already hates the series. Oh dear. Let's see what she thinks about some of the later parts.**

**Anyway, the other 18 or so episodes will be covered next chapter! And hopefully I won't have so much homework tomorrow, although college is college, so bleh.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	91. Weiss Reacts to Code Geass R1, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Code Geass R1, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Good Dust, we really ARE close to the end of the volume, aren't we? I mean, all this planning for Corrin Reacts and Weiss Reacts Volume 3 is getting underway, and we're looking at new things to feature to take you guys on for one more volume of badly written shenanigans.**

**Of course, that'll all be covered when we get around there in nine chapters. Among what we're confirming for next volume, however, include Fruits Basket, Gurren Lagann (finally!) and the last chapters of ****Half-Blind Otaku's**** We Were Close, among other things.**

**That said, let's get on with this chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be a villain based on Baba Yaga.**

**Code Geass belongs to Sunrise. Major spoilers abound.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

_The Black Knights_

"And they wonder why everyone hates them." Weiss muttered, irritated. "Seriously, yes, we get it, you're the Japanese Liberation Front, woo-hoo, freedom to Japan! What I don't get is if you want the popular opinion to be on your side, the best thing to do is _not_ to involve a bunch of innocent tourists and _throw them off the top of the building_!"  
"Desperate times." Yang pointed out helpfully. "I mean, considering that the Britannians are basically supremacists with an overinflated sense of superiority, you seriously think they'll stop if the resistance doesn't do this kinda stuff?"  
"Still, it's a stupid plan. And, of course, rather conveniently, this Euphemia girl just _happens_ to be their hostage." The heiress remarked. "Well, whoever was stupid enough to call the siege better write his will. Obviously, knowing her character, pigs will fly before she gets killed off."

Yang snorted. "Do you ever notice that whenever you say something, the exact opposite happens? Haven't you learned your lesson from, oh, Toradora, Madoka Magica, just about every fanfic we ever read….any of them ring a bell, dear?"  
"Pfft. I know these kinds of characters. There's no way they'll kill Euphie off that quickly." The heiress responded with a snort of her own. "If she dies, it'll be a sacrifice for Lelouch or her boyfriend or something and she'll say something profound and look at peace before she closes her eyes for the last time."

'_One out of three ain't bad.'_ The brawler mused, chuckling to herself.

"….you would think the Britannians would pick up on the fact that they have a string of mass suicides every time this Zero person shows up." Weiss commented. "That or things being blown up.

And you'd also think they'd suspect something between him and Euphemia, considering, y'know, that they're supposed to be nominal enemies and yet he didn't _kill her._"

Ruby shrugged. "Maybe they assumed he was playing at some sort of plot- I don't kill your princess, you give me leeway? I mean, that's what I'd do. Make them owe me a lot for letting her live."

"Cornelia's too strict for that to work." Blake shook her head. "No way. She'd kill them first."  
"….romantic. A group of heroes of justice." The heiress sighed. "The last time someone claimed to be that, they were a bunch of pranksters who ended up kidnapping my sister for some sort of perverted scheme."

Yang chuckled at the remark. "Heh, good point. It'd be pretty cool if we gave the Justice Cabal mecha-"

"NO." Weiss responded vehemently, shaking her head. "We do not _need_ to give any more idiotic pranksters giant robots! I already have you two and Nora to deal with!"

"Dear, trust me. If you've ever been to an Antic Order meeting, giant robots are _peanuts_." Yang responded, smirking.

_Refrain_

Weiss frowned. "…well. It seems nobody in this whole series has a remotely happy life. Except that Shirley girl, and I bet she'll end up being run over by a truck or something."

Ruby merely remained silent, eating her ice cream.

"…..that has to be rough, treated badly no matter what you pretend to be." Blake remarked sympathetically. "I mean, Kallen's lucky- she can pass for Britannian or Japanese- and even she gets a little lip.

I suppose I understand that."

"…yeah. I can see what you mean, Blake." Yang nodded in assent, her eyes resting on the ribbon hiding Blake's cat ears briefly. "I feel for you."

"...oh come on! And her mother's on drugs?!" Weiss cried. "Alright. A drug that makes you relive your past obsessively.

….oh. Ohoho. I see what they did there."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "You do?"  
"Yes, yes I do. I won't explain it, as I might, possibly, be wrong, but eh."

_Guren Dances_

"If you're going to make another Knightmare Frame, you should work on the Guren. I mean, seriously. _LASER ARM._" Yang pleaded to Blake, who thought carefully.

"…..it's an idea, but making these giant robots takes time. Granted, now that I have a ton of machines to automate the process, it doesn't take me six months to make one of those, but it still takes a while." The catgirl pointed out.

"But _laser arm_!" The brawler whined, pouting.

"…..I'll see what I can do."  
"YAAAAAAY!"

"Why do I feel like that landslide's going to bite them in the backside later?" Weiss inquired, sighing.

_Battle for Narita_

Weiss clapped. "Finally, a stroke of actual genius! Now they actually pin down their leader-oh, wonderful! Just wonderful! Euphemia comes in with…..dammit!

At least I can't question her motives or her intelligence, although that of her officers, I can. Morons….you give her boyfriend a super-powerful robot and you don't use him? That's like having a gun in your possession and refusing to use it in times of war because you think it wouldn't be honourable! This is why supremacists are so inefficient in their stupid philosophy.

Stupid and arrogant."

"Well, they are supremacists, but if they wanted to save their precious Cornelia, you'd think they'd send their best weapon in before their superior makes them do it." Yang pointed out, agreeing with the heiress.

"…..so C.C doesn't just have the power to give people weird eye things and immortality, but she can also mentally traumatise you." The heiress remarked, trying to understand what was going on. "…..excellent. Next thing you'll tell me, she can fly and shoot rainbows out of her backside."

Blake whistled casually. "You really don't like this anime, do you?"  
"The only characters who don't irritate me are either powerless to do anything or not doing anything. And even _then, _I'm getting close to losing it." The heiress responded. "Although I can just about tolerate the protagonists- at least they aren't racist…..bugaboos."  
_'I had to stoop to censoring myself. Tch.'_

_The Messenger from Kyoto_

"…..so nothing of note happened in this episode apart from, you know, crashing a mountainside on an innocent town biting him on the backside." Weiss remarked, throwing her hands up in exasperatin. "Wonderful. Just wonderful."

Yang sighed, shaking her head. "…guess you were wrong about Shirley. See? You never get anything right."  
"I'm still going to get my remark about Euphemia right, so be quiet."  
"You said Mami would live the whole series." Blake pointed out helpfully. Weiss glared at her.

"That doesn't count. The whole thing was meant to be a _deconstruction_!"

* * *

_Shirley at Gunpoint_

"…..you're joking, right?" Weiss inquired, her eyes wide in disbelief. "You're telling me that Shirley, of all people, followed a resistance leader, didn't feel like running away from a fight between giant robots and had the guts to point a gun at someone who, as far as everyone is concerned, managed to kill an entire room full of armed soldiers by himself, even if he _did_ just get blown out of a robot?

That…sounds about as likely as Euphemia taking up a gun and killing everyone. Or Yang getting a clue about her perversion."

"I'm embracing the freedom to be a pervert as much as I like!" Yang responded proudly. "And to be able to say, freely, that Blake is sexy is one of the best things ever!"  
"D-did you have to use that example?!" The catgirl cried, blushing.

The heiress facepalmed. "If ever I find the one thing that makes you feel shame, I ought to write it down and spread it to everyone in the hope that maybe you'll feel as much shame as possible."  
"Still…..yeah, that….I never understood how we're expected to believe that good, innocent little Shirley had the balls to pick up a gun and try to kill a rebel leader herself, even driven by grief." The brawler nodded in agreement. "Just doesn't make sense."

_Geass vs. Geass_

"And now some _other_ person, with a Geass that lets him read minds, is now trying to screw with Lelouch, as if he didn't already have enough issues, what with his childhood friend trying to murder him, his admirer trying to murder him and running a resistance." Weiss remarked. "…this world's trying to murder him, I know it."

"I never understood why they had him just show up in the middle of the whole 'struggle for freedom' thing. I mean, Mao's pretty awesome himself, but…." Yang shrugged. "It's just a little weird that we're sidetracked from the whole thing.

Then again, it's important for later and explains a lot, but it just feels a little weird."  
"Lelouch's Geass is ridiculous." The heiress complained. "…..he can make people forget whole years of their lives. Excellent.

Well, that basically made Shirley's whole role in the story useless, seeing as there's almost no way she'd be of any significance not remembering anything about him. Shoot the shaggy dog much?"

_Cheering Mao_

Ruby tilted her head. "….wooow. I can see why someone would go insane by having to hear everyone's thoughts everywhere.

I mean, he's obsessed with C.C. and got an innocent girl involved in his shenanigans, but you know."

Weiss rubbed her temples. "…..okay, so he's insane and willing to chop up the object of his affections into tiny bits to fit her into an airplane. Well.

WHAT KIND OF STUPID PLAN IS THAT?! GET A BETTER AIRPLANE NEXT TIME, MORON!"

Blake whistled. "Still, that is a pretty solid plan for someone who seems to be capable of surviving a piece of rock to the heart."

"Don't side with him!"

_Nunnally Held Hostage_

"And of course this Mao idiot survives and kidnaps an innocent girl. What is with people and trying to murder everyone else in this show? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if it was just the Britannians, but come on, the resistance is throwing people off buildings, Mao's kidnapping handicapped blind girls…even Shirley's trying to shoot people….what is this?!" Weiss cried in exasperation. "Seriously!"

"Whew. That's awesome how he just kicked that camera off the ceiling." Ruby commented. "Where'd he learn to do that?"

"At least he gets killed off." The heiress muttered. "Which is more than he deserves. I mean, he ended up losing the ability to speak, but _still_!"

Yang chuckled. "My, my, we're getting a little serious about this, aren't we?"  
Weiss held up a finger to her mouth. "Be quiet! I'm getting serious about the sheer stupidity I happen to be experiencing right this instant!"

_Knight_

"…alright, I'll give him that. I mean, it's a stupid tactical decision to just not blow him up then and there, even if he _is_ your childhood friend, but I can see why Lelouch wouldn't want to just _kill_ Suzaku even though he _knows_ he's the mysterious pilot who's handed them their backsides on silver platters." Weiss admitted. "Fine. One decision I can't argue with.

…..also, Euphemia, you're just asking to get assassinated. Seriously, declaring, on public television, that a person who got accused of murdering a public official- one who's considered a second class citizen to boot- is now your personal knight…..I changed my mind. She's _also_ a moron."  
"That's romantic! Come on!" Yang complained. "You can't be telling me you hate that part."  
"Nope, she's stupid. Seriously, she may be naïve, but come on, are you telling me she'd be naïve enough to think _nobody _would complain about that? They do, but seriously, what is she thinking?!" Weiss snapped, exasperated. "I'm starting to think this anime was written by a bunch of idiots."

Blake frowned. "Oh come on. This anime's not that bad. If you want bad, you should go watch SAO."  
"You're saying that's _worse_ than this?!"  
"I love this!" Ruby interjected. "How could you not? I mean, true, there are some bad parts, but it's a pretty solid anime!"  
"It just _bugs_ me. Everything about it just _bug_s me."

_I Order You, Suzaku Kururugi_

"You may be a genius, Lelouch, but you're not pragmatic enough. Just _kill_ Suzaku or something. Blow up his robot. Frame him. _Poison him_!" Weiss snapped. "He's the only reason bar Cornelia your Black Knights lose every time they fight you!"  
Yang shrugged. "Well, I mean they could _kill_ Suzaku, but then they lose a potential asset. I mean, the Lancelot _is_ a pretty strong Frame, and he's the only person who knows how to use it."

"Wonderful." The heiress sighed. "Well….once again they get screwed over because suddenly convenient bombing!"

* * *

_Island of the Gods_

"…alright? They're all stranded on an island and somehow survived that." Weiss remarked. "Cool. Alright. What's going on here then?"  
"…..that's cute." Yang scoffed. "Lelouch, you can't do anything physical, just drop it. Even your _sister_ can do better than you and she doesn't exactly seem the type to do outdoorsy stuff."

"…..well. That was just….what?" The heiress scratched her head, confusedly. "What….okay, so the only things we found out this episode are that the Geass ability does random things with mysterious places and that we could've skipped to the next one without missing much. Alright then.

That was….well, a little pointless. I mean, what happened here could've happened elsewhere."

Blake rolled her eyes. "You complain too much."  
"I'm just sick of watching people clutch idiot balls and do stupid things when they _could_ have finished things ages ago with less fuss." The heiress muttered. "Given you people make me watch anime and read things with people doing this kind of thing too much, it gets irritating to experience."

_Battle for Kyushu_

Weiss harrumphed. "Just as well. Quislings are quislings, no matter who they decide to serve.

Independent Japan, my foot. Collaborating with a different empire to fight another one and giving up your freedom basically means nothing."

"Meh. It was just awesome that those two actually kicked butt back-to-back for once. Even if normally they'd be at each other's throats." Yang admitted. "Also, d'awwwww, love confessions!"

Weiss snorted. "I hereby command you to love me? Seriously?"

"That sounds like something you'd say." Ruby pointed out cheerily.

"Whose side are you on?!"

"You're, well, _you_." Blake pointed out. "If anything, the line fits more on you than Euphie."  
"…you know, I don't even know if I should be insulted or flattered that you compared me to her."

_Declaration at the School Festival_

"…..oh, absolutely wonderful, she hijacks a festival to announce a zone where Japanese people can be Japanese." Weiss sighed for the umpteenth time. "Dammit, Euphemia, you are _not_ helping your survival chances. Seriously."  
Yang shrugged. "Maybe, you know, she actually _doesn't_ survive? Come on, I mean, seriously, don't you think-"  
"Like I said, they won't kill her off. Her character is just far too obvious. Too innocent. It'd make her the obvious choice to kill." The heiress explained. "Come on, even you can see that."

_Bloodstained Euphie_

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Weiss roared, disbelieving. "SERIOUSLY?! THAT…NO! COME ON!

OF COURSE! C.C WARNS YOU ABOUT LOSING CONTROL OF YOUR GEASS, YOU'VE SEEN SOMEONE LOSE CONTROL OF IT AND THEN YOU START LOSING CONTROL OF IT, AND YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO WEAR AN EYEPATCH OR SOMETHING?!"

Yang was busy laughing. "Calm down! It's just a show, Weiss!"  
"It's STUPID is what it is!" The heiress snapped angrily. "What was Lelouch doing, hugging the idiot ball?! You fool!

Well, nicely done, you screwed up your own sister's plans, made her try to kill everyone you're trying to protect all because you were careless and didn't take precautions to stop something you _knew_ was going haywire!"

_At Least With Sorrow_

Weiss crossed her arms, irritated.

"Well, nicely done. Thanks to your carelessness, you had to shoot and kill your own sister." The heiress declared, sighing. "Idiot. That….that death shouldn't count."  
"Told ya." Yang reminded her matter-of-factly. "I told you she'd be dead."  
"I assumed the way she'd die wasn't going to be because the main protagonist had a moment where his brain turned to mush inside his skull and decided that he wouldn't lose control of his Geass right when he started losing control of it!" Weiss retorted. "Seriously, did they _have_ to do that just to kill her off? I'm pretty sure they didn't need to pull something out of their backsides to make that work!"

Ruby shrugged. "It happens. Stuff happens. Well…..this is bad. Oh dear, and now he's breaking cities down.

That escalated quickly."

_The Collapsing Stage_

Weiss had her head in her hands, just shaking her head. "Just….wonderful. Well, at least I know that this series wasted my time. Seriously, what kind of stupid plot twist was that? This wouldn't even have happened if Lelouch knew what he was doing!

And now they're taking over his own school and now everyone wants to kill him, which I'm not surprised about!"  
Yang shrugged. "Stuff happens. And _daaaamn_ Cornelia looks pissed."

_Zero_

"…that…..that was absolutely…..WHAT." Weiss stood up, seething at the ending. "So….what, is that it? The Black Knights lose because Lelouch has a big brother complex, and he just gets thrashed?! Is that it?!

So you're telling me that was all for nothing?! That stupid plot twist ruined it all! Screw this!"

The heiress stormed out, irritated at the ending.

Blake sighed. "…..I'm guessing we're never getting her to watch the rest of the show."  
Yang shook her head, sighing. "Nope, I don't think so.

…..and we're never showing Euphie Arc this, agreed?"  
"…..I don't see why that'd be a problem, but eh." The catgirl shrugged.

"…..so, wanna go out for dinner?" The brawler inquired, looking around casually. "I'm pretty bored already. Ooh, maybe we should check out that new diner around the corner from the shopping center!"  
Ruby shrugged casually. "Sure, why not."  
"Eh. Sounds good to me." Blake commented. "I'm game."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Well. I stress this- Weiss' opinion does not reflect my opinion on Code Geass.**

**Except the part about Euphie's death. That was just plain stupid, for reasons which I won't explain here.**

**Anyway, next chapter, courtesy of ****The Layman****, we will be reacting to the fanfic ****Stages**** next!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	92. Special Chapter: Stages!

**Weiss Reacts to Stages!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! A couple of things; firstly, about Blake's comment on SAO…..look at SAO, and look at Blake, and think very carefully about why she'd make a comment. Her reasons for not liking it and mine are…..very, very different. Also, I spent an entire chapter or two ragging on Code Geass and you guys noticed the SAO riff? It seems I'll be having to try harder to hide actually important information in dialogue then.**

**Anyway, a huge thanks to ****The Layman**** for today's chapter content, and let's get on with it. **

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have replicas of the weapons in the show. (Come on, who WOULDN'T want a legit Crescent Rose replica to hang on the wall?)**

**Stages belongs to ****The Layman.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"You know what I get tired of?" Ruby inquired casually, throwing a ball against the wall of the dorm while lying on her bed. Weiss shook her head, calmly looking up a guide to get past a certain level of a certain game.

"I was of the assumption you were basically indefatigable. Enlighten me."  
"People killing me off in fanfics." The reaper explained, frowning. "I mean, I feel all victimised now. I mean, I've had my eye shot out, my arm blown off, killed repeatedly…..why do you think people like killing me off?"

"You're basically the embodiment of cute adorableness and people seem to be obsessed with killing cute adorable things?" The heiress responded, offering her suggestion. "Madoka Magica being enough proof as it is."  
"Yeah, but it seems like I'm always killed off." Ruby complained. "I mean, at least give me a cool robot arm or something if you'll blow my limbs off! Or give me a cool death scene!"  
"That would defeat the purpose of killing you off." Weiss reminded her. "Not that I want to kill you off. That would be counterproductive."  
"I'd be very worried if my own girlfriend wanted to kill me…." Ruby feigned a sigh of relief.  
"And what, be robbed of an adorable dunce and the only sane person in all of Beacon?" The heiress scoffed. "I'd probably lose itif you died."  
"Awww!" Ruby giggled. "You're so sweet~ I love you~"  
"D-don't say it like that!" Weiss cried, blushing and looking away from her. "…..t-tch. You can be so embarrassing at times, you know?"

"I'm just appreciating your niceness~ Can't a girl appreciate her girlfriend's niceness?"

"….I suppose I'm just getting used to being a girlfriend to begin with." The heiress admitted, shrugging. "You are still _ridiculously_ embarrassing, though."  
"That's how love goes, Weiss~" The reaper commented, giggling.  
"You're too young to know what love is!" The heiress reminded her, chuckling.

Ruby smiled. "Anyway….so…do you wanna do something? I'm _booooored."_

"…..what is this?" Weiss looked up at her screen, scratching her head at her DustFiction profile, where someone had sent her a message.

"…..oh, how convenient. Someone's just sent us a fanfic to read because they're _such_ big fans of us." Weiss commented. "…..I already don't like this, for various reasons. I know that whatever I've just been talking about, it'll probably contain it in copious detail."

"So you're genre-savvy about that, but not about seeing Euphemia's death coming?" Ruby remarked, smirking.

"No, I saw that coming, but-no, no, I won't talk about it, talking about that stupid show already makes me want to break something." Weiss muttered angrily, clenching her fist and breathing heavily to calm down. "…..fine. Let's….let's read this fic. It shouldn't be too bad."

The reaper frowned, clambering down from her bed. "I seriously hope you're wrong about me getting killed off again. I hate that! Like, at least give me a cool death scene or turn me into, like, an Aura ghost or something!"

* * *

_Epicentre_

"I can already tell, from the fact that I'm not in the character list in the description, that I'm dead. Again." Ruby sighed, exasperated. "Come on, dammit! At _least_ give me a cool death scene like Kamina or Captain Falcon or _someone_ badass!"  
"You certainly are Yang's sister." Weiss remarked. "…well, we'd better give this a look. Don't want the poor man to be disappointed, and I don't feel like yelling at him."  
"…..you're right." The reaper conceded, before crossing her arms and puffing her cheeks out. "I'm still not happy I'm always killed off in fanfics, though."

"As usual, you manage to lose a giant scythe. Somehow." Weiss remarked, herself exasperated with Ruby's tendency to lose things. "Seriously? How does one lose something that large?!"  
"I find it hard to keep track of stuff, okay?!" Ruby responded defensively. "I have issues!"  
"….oh, of _course_. The Grimm survives and spawns a super-intelligent baby to rip your throat out." Weiss rolled her eyes. "…..points for originality, at least. I don't think I've ever seen anything rip your throat out."

Ruby pouted. "I still think that's survivable. Just, y'know, give me a cybernetic windpipe and voicebox! Oooh, and I should have a cool, deep girl voice! You know, like….uhh…..I dunno…..Cornelia?"  
"…..for some reason, I doubt anyone would believe you'd have a voice that deep." The heiress commented, scoffing. "Just look at you. You're far too cute to pull off _contralto_."

"I don't know what that is! Oh, this is unfair." The reaper groaned. "Can I, like, survive being killed once? Pleaaaase? Like, come on!"  
Weiss rubbed her chin, thinking carefully. "Well, judging by the name of the fic, it's about the rest of the team dealing with the stages of grief and you being dead. Well, that's…at least not exactly original, but points for approaching the matter in a way that isn't sappy trash or overt gore and blood everywhere like that _one_ fic we read, thank Dust for that.

Fine. Let's read this."  
Ruby exhaled deeply. "….fiiiine, but I still want to do something awesome and I'm still not happy with being killed again, but fine."

_First Aftermath_

Ruby frowned. "…..you know if I actually died, I wouldn't mind if you cried, right?"  
"You wouldn't dare die on me. And if you did, I'd drag you screaming and kicking from the afterlife if I had to." Weiss retorted. "And then tell you off for being enough of an idiot for dying in the first place."

"…you know, I'm not sure if you're complimenting me-"  
"Just take the compliment!" Weiss responded snappily. "And of course, of _course_ Nora responds to your death by holding a party!

No doubt our Nora would likely petition the sloth gods for you back."  
"Hey, don't diss the sloth gods." Ruby responded. "That's not nice."  
"They don't exist. Don't tell me you're buying into them like she is." Weiss remarked. "…..and, well….um….that's…."  
"Come on, my death's news material?! And it wasn't even awesome." Ruby looked a little indignant. "Dammit. I'm upset now!"

"I don't think you'd care too much if it actually happened to you."

"…..you have a point there." The reaper admitted. "….and dammit, Yang! Well….I can't say beating up a gang to let your rage go isn't a bad thing, but…..ouch."

"A smiley face. Of course, Yang uses a _smiley_ face as her tag even when her sister's dead." The heiress facepalmed. "Some things will never change, it seems."

_Aftershock 1_

Weiss rolled her eyes. "…I chafe at being portrayed like this. Come on, I'd be a little bit more emotional than that! I wouldn't exactly break down, but why should I?"  
"Atta girl." Ruby smiled. "You're strong. Nothing'd break you."  
"As a Schnee, I'm proud to say that I'm hard to shake. It's in the blood." The heiress declared proudly, before-

"NORA! Come _on_! Seriously?! A food fight is what you suggest to cheer me up?! A food fight?! That's even worse than a party!

Go, me, yell at her! Then again, it's Nora. Why was I _even_ surprised? The girl's about as easy to shake as solid granite…..and I made myself look like a jerk. Again."

Ruby shrugged. "You had it hard on you. You're badly hurt. It's….well, not _justified_, but we can see why you'd lash out."  
"Dammit….I feel bad now. I just hope I never have to find out what I'd _really_ do in this situation." Weiss commented, exhaling. "I really hope I don't."

"It's okay." The reaper patted her on the back. "Please. I don't plan on dying until you've figured out the secret to Dust-based immortality. Or making my entire body robotic so I can be a cool badass robot. Whatever comes first."  
"…you know that sounds stupid, right?"  
"A robot body's cool!"

* * *

_Aftershock 2_

"COME ON!" The heiress roared. "Are you legitimately _serious_?! A girl just _died_ and all you care about is that you didn't get to _sleep_ with her?! Dammit, I hope this Cardin gets found by our Cardin and beaten badly. And then hung by his ankles. And then whipped.

That's just plain disgusting. That…..no."

Ruby cringed. "…good Dust. That's just…..gross. No."

"…well, that's a side of Yang I really would wish she'd show more." The heiress admitted. "I mean, she's a big sister, so she should act like one."

The reaper shrugged. "She'll act like one when she needs to."  
"For some reason, knowing our Yang, I don't think she'll do that, although she could possibly prove me wrong."

_Second Aftermath_

"Oh, I'd probably get punched in the face by Blake and told to grit my teeth if this happened." Weiss remarked. "Seeing Blake give me a warm hug is almost _shocking._

At least I know my team's always going to have my back. Not that I don't trust ours to, even if we're a bunch of insane weirdos."

"…..you know, if I do end up like this, you guys aren't burying me." Ruby declared. "You're cremating me and shooting my remains out of a cannon."

"What, seriously?" The heiress raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like Nora's plans to die by funeral pyre if she does."

"Well, I mean…..go out with a bang, right?" The reaper remarked, trying to suppress a smirk.

"That was a terrible, _terrible_ pun." The heiress slapped her face with her palm. "Please tell me you didn't get that from Yang."

"I couldn't help it! And it's a bit hard not to make jokes like this when this isn't even the first time someone's killed me off in a fanfic!" Ruby protested. "I mean, it feels bad the first time, weird the second time and after the fifth, you start making jokes about it."

"…..if you actually died, it wouldn't be a joke and you know that." Weiss reminded her. "…..and good Dust, this topic's morbid. Can we finish this fic so we can stop talking about this?"

"Sounds like it. I feel like I'm being a little disrespectful." Ruby frowned.

_Epilogue_

Weiss frowned. "….I'm never going to drink. And….oh, well, you got your wish. You're now a ghost."

Ruby cheered. "Cool! Now I can possess giant mecha and stuff! Oooh, maybe you should stop me from leaving and turn me into a robot girl? Go all 'we can rebuild her' and stuff!"

The heiress stared at her. "Are you serious or-"

"Of course I'm serious! That'd be so cool! Okay, not cool, I'd be _dead_, but you know, make me shoot lasers and get Blake to give me something like Norn's body and I should be good, right?"

"And who's this…kindly gentleman?" Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno." Ruby shrugged. "He sounds…..awesome. For some reason, he reminds me of the legend of the Bard from the Cockerel Festival."

"…that's what you thought about first?"  
"It's just what came to mind, I guess. I dunno." The reaper shrugged. "It just seems….fitting.

I could imagine that, him just waiting to tell stories to the spirits of the dead as they wait to go to the afterlife- you know, of all his badass battles and stuff. That wouldn't be so bad."  
"Yeah." Weiss nodded in agreement. "I can agree to that."

"I'll leave a review." Ruby offered.

"You do that."

* * *

From: **DaLittleRougeFightingHood**

gud job i luv it

but nxt tim

dun kil me pls i dnt like reding abut my deaths

-luv, ruby

ps: weiss says hi

* * *

And as if on cue, Yang opened the door. "I'm _baaaaack_! What did I miss?"  
"…..absolutely nothing." Weiss shrugged. "…..wait, where'd you even go, anyway?"  
"That….." Yang held up a finger, before a massive explosion in the distance sounded, followed by the now-expected shrieking from someone- maybe Elsa, maybe Coco. "…..is a story for another time."

"….why do I even _ask_?!"

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Before you review, I mean absolutely no respect to a fic as a memorial to a great man. That, in itself, is a motivation I can respect. More power to you all, and I cannot disrespect it. Great men deserve it, and only from good writers- and there is no way this fic would even have gotten into Weiss Reacts if I didn't trust ****The Layman**** was a good writer.**

**But, on the topic of Ruby getting killed in fanfics…..well, you should check out my fic ****This Is The Part Where Ruby Dies**** to see my feelings on people killing her off. Like, seriously, guys. There are other ways of getting tragedy done.**

**With that being said, another big thank you to our lovely guest - and I do again apologise for taking the piss! Next time, Weiss Reacts to Civilization V, Part 2!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	93. Weiss Reacts to Civilization V, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Civilization V: Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Just seven chapters to the end of the volume, and three to the end of actual feature stories. Good Dust, it's that time again already. Well, nothing much else to say, really. Just keep finding stuff for me to react to for next volume and keep on reading, ladies and gents!**

**Also, there may be some disruption in the coming weeks due to my laptop being suspect- I've just had to reformat it to fix a serious issue- so if I do not upload at all, it'll be either due to my laptop being on the fritz or me doing college work. Either way, let's get on with it!  
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would totally be a Heimdall-based character in RWBY. (As Nora's brother.)**

**Civilization V belongs to Firaxis. **

**All mentioned franchises, mods and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"I win." Yang stuck her tongue out at Weiss as she was victorious at a game of Team Fortress 2- Weiss had insisted on a one versus one fight without Yang calling on her mysterious friend Nanami- as she played from her laptop.

"You _literally_ did nothing but sit in a corner and use that blasted sniper of yours!"

"Then quit trying to come at me with the Eyelander and use something better!"  
"Must you always use such dirty tactics to beat me?" The heiress snapped, exasperated.

Yang raised an eyebrow quizzically. "All is fair in love and war, is it not?"

Ruby sighed, shaking her head. "Oh, these two are at it again."  
"Weiss and Yang just always argue about anything." Blake mused, shaking her head in unison. "The day they stop, the Lagann sprouts wings and flies into the sunset."

"Did you ever tell her about Nanami?" The reaper inquired, frowning.

"She never asked, and frankly it's never been important enough." The catgirl responded. "Although, Nanami's been getting a little restless lately."  
"Oh? How does an AI get restless?"  
"She just….I dunno." Blake sighed. "I mean, I've been working on a couple of different projects, but I'm not sure if I can make her a…physical body. She really wants to see the world outside, so to speak.

I mean, Norn was a different case- she had her sapience granted to her by Life Dust. But to tailor a body specifically for an already-formed AI to inhabit would be quite difficult…."

"Maybe you can ask Sun to do it? Oh, oh, or that Isara girl? They're engineering geniuses, right?" Ruby pointed out.

Blake scoffed dismissively. "Sun's good, but not that good. And it'll be a cold day in hell before I go to a tank-building heretic like Gunther to work on _my_ creations."

"Didn't you already get over the whole tank thing?"  
"They're still heretics for rejecting the way of the mecha."

"If you're so good at all games, then what do you say to this?!" Weiss snapped, interrupting the two girls on the side. "Xiao Long, why don't you play a small game of Civilization V with me? If I win, you must buy me three boxes of vanilla sorbet as reparations."  
Yang blanched. "Heck no! That game's boring! Not enough explosions! Too slow!"  
"So you forfeit?" The heiress responded, smirking.

"…gggh. Dammit. I won't let you win, Weiss!" The brawler declared indignantly. "Fine! I have two conditions, if I accept this challenge!"  
Weiss crossed her arms, studying her opponent curiously. "Name them."

"One, if _I_ win, you have to buy me lunch for the next week and a half." Yang started, listing off her conditions on her fingers. "Two, we're playing with mods on."

Weiss shook her head. "Not likely. What, so your mods will be able to rig things to your advantage?"

"You get them too. I'll even install them for you. Considering your track record with computers, I'll have to- it's a complicated process thing to install mods for multiplayer and all that."

The heiress seethed irritably. "…..ggh….fine. Your terms are…..reasonable.

Of course, I doubt I'll lose to you. The Schnee Empire will not lose to a mere pretender."  
Yang rolled her eyes. "Please. We know how this goes- you'll do badly, blame the computer and me instead of yourself and rage quit."  
"Be quiet." The heiress retorted. "I plan to break the mold, so to speak."

Blake raised an eyebrow, her interest piqued. "This seems interesting."  
"I love it when Weiss takes something so seriously." Ruby chuckled. "She's cute when she does that."  
"You think she's cute when she does anything."

"It's not my fault she IS cute!" The reaper cried, her cheeks red.

* * *

_Minutes later…._

Brawler and heiress were sitting at their computers, looking at their opponent closely, as Weiss waited for her to start a game.

"It seems someone on this game actually appreciates my ambitions." Weiss clapped proudly, as her chosen civilization was, literally, the Holy Schnee Empire- replete with fanart drawn of Weiss with a queen's crown and a custom flag based on the Schnee family emblem. "Good on them, I may actually live out my dream thanks to their brilliant and much-appreciated work!"  
"Your dream is to conquer the whole world?" Blake inquired. Weiss scoffed.

"Nothing so brutish. No, I merely want to guide the world into a new golden age, one of prosperity, pride and where adequately-sized chests are not objects of ridicule, _Yang_."  
The brawler snickered. "If you got 'em, flaunt 'em."

Ruby giggled. "I love it when Weiss goes power-mad on video games. It's cute. Isn't it cute?"  
"It makes me seriously wonder about her sanity sometimes." Blake mused. "And whether or not I could persuade her to fund my mecha building with that frame of mind…."  
Yang shrugged. "All I know is Weiss'll be buying me lunch for the next week~"  
"Fighting words, Yang, fighting words." Weiss retorted. "Start the game already so I can school you with the might of the _True_ Holy Schnee Empire!"

"Relax, relax. I'm trying to pick a good civ to use. Hm…..I could always pick Reimu as a leader…or one of the vanilla leaders?" The brawler tapped her chin, thinking carefully. "I mean, Ruby nearly won with Siam last time, and Babylon was pretty good….ooh, but then we have Madoka as a faction leader, and her units are pretty good…."  
"Good Dust, how many mods did you install?" Ruby asked, confused.  
"Just a bunch based on Touhou, Madoka…..and I think I added one for, err…Ireland under Lancer. And the Holy Schnee Empire, although I'm disappointed that nobody thinks I'm awesome and sexy enough for my _own _mod….." The brawler pouted. "Screw it. Mami is best civilization. Let's go! And cool, they even have a vaguely Italian name…Nazione di Tiro?"

The heiress sighed. "Finally. May the best person win. And by that, I mean _I_ will win."  
"Getting a bit presumptuous there, are we, princess?" Yang retorted. "Trust me. I'll enjoy free lunches for a week off you."

Ruby exhaled, grabbing a nearby bag of cookies. "Well, this ought to be fun to watch, Weiss taking it uber-seriously and Yang trolling her like mad."

"It should be a bit more even-sided." Blake pointed out. "The last time we played this, Weiss nearly won, remember? The only reason she lost was because you backdoored us and got the cultural victory."  
"Oh yeah….the new update removed that, didn't it?" The reaper sighed, frowning. "I loved winning by Utopia Project."

…..

"Hehe." Weiss cracked her knuckles as she established the crown capital of the Holy Schnee Empire- of course, named Rosenrot. "Year Zero of the Holy Schnee Empire has begun."  
Yang rubbed her chin. "Hm…yeah, yeah, placing the capital of Yangland here was a good idea. Good access."

"This is more fun if you have more people." Ruby pointed out.

"But then we would never prove that I'm better than Weiss!" Yang reminded her, frowning. The heiress glared at her, before shaking her head disapprovingly.

"You keep thinking that. Your banter is utterly futile and irrelevant anyway."

"Haha." The brawler grinned. "It's getting to you, isn't it?"  
_'Alright, alright, well, I've got to hurry up and get me a huge army to wreck Weiss because she'll actually legitimately __**beat**__ me on this if I'm not prepared.'_ Yang thought, attempting to formulate a strategy to deal with her opponent. _'Well, I've got to __**find**__ Weiss, but then I've got to __**overwhelm**__ her._

_Dammit, Mami, why is your special unit all the way in the Industrial Era?'_

Meanwhile, of course, Weiss was planning her own deal.

'_Rapid expansion, of course.' _ The heiress mused. _'The citystates, if they do not submit to the empire, must be subsumed into it entirely. Yang will likely attempt to forcefully overwhelm me with an army, so I will need enough land to support an army of my own, even if it is less easy to defend._

_And, of course, I have my __**own**__ trick up my sleeve. These new wonders help me, it seems, and this newest one will be needed to fuel my rapid expansion and colonisation.'_

Blake popped a piece of tuna into her mouth. "Wow. These two actually are taking this game seriously_. _Who knew Yang of all people would?"  
"It's probably because she wants to beat Weiss." The reaper pointed out, munching on her cookies.

The catgirl chuckled. "True. I guess these two'll always be at each other's throats."  
"Yeah, but, you know, it's….a little like, I mean they _hate_ each other, but if you try to beat one, they'll back each other up." Ruby pointed out. "Y'know, like _nakama_ or true companions….only less, err, true companion-ey."

"I would hope it's that. Otherwise the last three years would look very, very scary in hindsight." Blake remarked drily.

"That's right, my soldiers. Clear out these camps of barbarians!" Weiss commanded, laughing as she directed her warriors to destroy the surrounding camps just outside of the Schnee Empire territory bordering the capital. "Clear them and wipe their names from the earth!"  
"Darn barbarians!" Yang snapped from her side. "Are you serious? Haven't been in the game fifteen turns and they're already pillaging my farms. Only an archer and a warrior, too….."

'_This amassing of a huge army isn't working out too well…..'_ The brawler considered. _'Just have to clear out these camps and it should be fine….'_

The heiress was completely confident in her strategy working fine, in contrast, and instead focused, once she had grown out her territory, on production in her one city.

"That's it, build faster….." The heiress muttered. "Soon, the glorious conquest will begin, and the Holy Schnee Empire will rise! See? We've already found you."

Indeed, one of Yang's scouts had located one of Weiss' errant warriors clearing barbarian camps.

"You've only got one city and not all that many soldiers." Yang pointed out helpfully. "You haven't got anything yet~"  
The heiress exhaled deeply, simply looking down at the screen. "So you think, Xiao Long. So you _think._"

* * *

_Twenty turns later….._

The map was not entirely filled yet, but it looked somewhat unfairly tipped towards the Holy Schnee Empire. A field of white and blue territory dotted with several cities ranged from the western edge of the continent, where the capital of Rosenrot stood proudly on the coast, to just towards a mountain range in the east, where it was no-mans-land with a couple of city states and barbarian camps. To the east, Yang's capital of Yangland was expanding its borders, but apart from two other cities, one placed through the range to check the expansion of the Schnee Empire, there were not many others.

Of course, Yang made up for it by having a large army, several units of which Weiss had already espied wiping out barbarian camps with ease via numbers.

Yang whistled. "Wow. How'd you expand so quickly?"  
"Well placed settlers and exploitation of resources." The heiress declared. "I am a bit of a strategist, if I do say so myself."  
"Oh. Not going to save you from me, though~" The brawler retorted, before declaring war on her ingame, moving several archers, spearmen and at least one visible catapult towards the border with the Empire. "And take a guess what I have next."

Weiss' face was completely deadpan. "What?"  
"Terracotta Army wonder! You know, the one that doubles all your army units?" The brawler explained, grinning.

Weiss exhaled, before continuing to speak. "You mean the one I just finished building?"  
Yang's eyes widened. "What." She quickly looked at her screen-

**You may no longer construct Terracotta Army. The lost production has been returned to Yangland.**

"WHAT?!" The brawler cried in disbelief. "HOW?!"  
"As I said, rapid production and production focus." The heiress shrugged. "Honestly. How do you think I fuelled my expansion? I pumped out troops like mad."  
Ruby looked awed. "That was masterstroke."  
"Agreed." Blake commented. "Yang's entire scheme probably revolved around having enough army to overwhelm Weiss."

The heiress smirked. "Your move, Yang."  
"Alright." The brawler shrugged for the umpteenth time, clicking around. "As you wish."  
Weiss then watched as Yang's well positioned troops easily took one of her border cities, having surrounded it while she was distracted. The brawler smirked.

"My move indeed, Weissy~"

"Gggh." Weiss growled. "Touché, Yang, I'll admit I was distracted. It won't happen again."  
Yang rested her head back on her chair. "So it won't, so it won't. Let's test that~"

Ruby cheered. "I believe in you, Yang! I think! Maybe. I dunno."  
"Gee, _thanks_ for the confidence, sis!" The brawler remarked drily. "_Really_ appreciate it."

….

_Twenty more turns later…._

As the day drew on, the pair had managed to advance in eras and in numbers of troops. Weiss held more cities and more wonders, whereas Yang held more troops and had whittled away at the heiress' empire, taking a city here and there.

There was an ongoing struggle between the Empire and the Nazione di Tiro over a city, Kreuzelburg, situated near the coast, as almost every two turns, it had changed hands between the two. Apart from that, however, the borders had remained generally stable, as Weiss was able to repel Yang's invasions but lacked the troops to go on a full-out invasion.

Blake frowned. "Wow. They look a little stuck."

"I think they've been fighting over Kreuzelburg since turn…thirty five?" Ruby recalled, pumping more cookies into her mouth. "Is someone going to do something?"  
"Just give up!" Yang commanded. "I'll have the city eventually anyway."  
"You don't have enough troops to funnel permanently into a small city like this." Weiss retorted sharply. "You can't stop me."  
The brawler scoffed. "Really? What am I doing now?"

Weiss smirked audaciously. "Failing to notice my troop movements."

Yang's eyes widened again as she scrolled to the side of the screen to see Weiss' cannon and pikemen taking over one of her cities entirely, and another group taking back the first city she'd captured.

The brawler sighed. "Very well, touché. I'm still going to win, though."  
_'And I think I know how to do it._' Yang mused, smirking. _'She can't resist this, anyway. Not this idea._

_I just need a few more turns to implement it….'_

…

_A few turns later…._

Weiss laughed. "You're sending in your entire army into my territory?"  
"I've got the power to take your capital, and your army can't deal with my group!" Yang grinned, smirking. "Let's go!"  
The heiress rolled her eyes. "If you're hoping to beat me in direct combat, you do have far more than me."  
"Yes. Fair fight, I'd say." Yang chuckled. "You'd do the same for me."

Weiss sent her own army into the oncoming mass of Yang's Tiro musketeers and pikemen, pushing against them to destroy their lines. The Empire forces met the Tiro forces and showed themselves magnificently, with no side gaining a definite advantage even through numbers.

Yang smirked, knowing what she had planned would completely catch her by surprise. _'Now's my chance.'_

Weiss harrumphed. "You know, your army managing skills aren't bad. Maybe if you weren't so easily defeated, we could stand to learn from you."

"Then, you would know about our own men." The brawler responded, grinning. "Missing, of course, but masters of the keeping of the house.

And speaking of which, as master of subterfuge, You didn't notice this, did you~"  
Suddenly, several pikemen, a cannon and some musketeers were moved towards the capital of the Empire. Weiss smiled, having already set a plan into motion to counter her attack.

"Just waiting."  
"For?" Yang raised an eyebrow, curious. The heiress sighed. "Oh, this."

**You have lost your capital.**

"WHAT?!" Yang stared at the screen in disbelief as it showed her capital being overrun by Empire troops. "COME ON!"

Weiss huffed. "Hum. Guess I _win_."

"NOOOOOO!"" The brawler cried. "HOW?!"

"You see, I had the same idea to distract you with a large army while I sent a smaller one to annihilate your capital. Which means the rest of your army was too preoccupied to notice me ransacking your cities." The heiress declared, before cheering.

"I am GOOD at a game! Face it!" Weiss laughed. "I am GOOD! And you now owe me!"

Yang grumbled. "Dammit!"

Ruby sighed. "Maybe you shouldn't have challenged Weiss so much."

"Or made better plays." Blake pointed out. "You made a couple."

Yang shook her head, hanging it in defeat. "I…I lost to Weiss. _Weiss._

I am worth _nothing_ as a prankster anymore."  
"I WIN!" The heiress raised her fist triumphantly. "I! WIN! AHAHA! HAH!"

And so, Weiss enjoyed one of her only victories upon a video game of any sort.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Next time, if I'm not too screwed, sleepy or stuff, Weiss Reacts to Team Outings! Yes, team RWBY is going out as a group for fun. Running out of ideas, but then this volume's nearly over and we've got all the good ones for next volume.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, suggestions, thoughts and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	94. Weiss Reacts to Team Outings, Part 1!

**Weiss Reacts to Team Outings, Part 1!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Good Dust, well. Not long left now, is there? I must confess, these chapters were the ones I had the hardest time planning, but you know, it came into use eventually. A couple of announcements before we start.**

**Firstly, Weiss Reacts has now been translated into Chinese for a forum of yuri and RWBY fans there! Secondly, I'd like to announce that we've confirmed ****Nutshop's**** Nora's Arc and ****Chris7221's**** Emergence, Convergence, Aliens Among Us and Those Left Behind for Volume 3! Thirdly, I have no more announcements so let's get on with this chapter already!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have more Sumerian and Babylonian mythology. (Enkidu as a Hunter? Yes, please.)**

**All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss huffed, shaking her head and crossing her arms. "Wonderful. Just absolutely _wonderful_."  
"If it's any consolation, it wasn't my fault at least." Yang offered up helpfully, before being turned down by the heiress' icy glare. She exhaled deeply, throwing her hands up.

Blake was groaning, curled up on her side, clutching her head. "Oww…..too much….too much…."

"How did we even end up here?" Ruby inquired, frowning. "Yang, you realise mom and dad are gonna kill us, right?"  
"Relax. Dad's got into trouble like this stalking both our moms like a creeper and trying to woo them." Yang scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. "We're cool. He'll probably bail us out anyway."  
"How can you be so _calm_ about this?!" Weiss hissed. "Do you even know where we are?!"  
"For once, this wasn't our fault! Besides, who were we to know that they were transporting a ton of catnip through that place then?" The brawler reminded her companion. "And besides, who put a stinking dispenser of the stuff there?!"

The door to the cell the girls were being held in opened. Ruby, Weiss and Yang looked over at him- Blake was still busy clutching her head and groaning. The police officer who had opened the holding cell looked in, surveying the occupants of the cell through his visor.

"You're free to go. We've cleared up the situation, you've been cleared of charges and the shopkeeper agreed that you didn't need to be punished for what you did. You're all free to go. Nothing's on record for any of you.

Miss Schnee, your father's here to drive you and your team back to Beacon."  
"I, personally, am _mortified_ that we caused you this much trouble, officer." Weiss announced as she stood up. _'And mortified at what my father might say when we see him.'_

"See? Your dad came." The brawler stood up, stretching her arms. "I really do feel sorry for that poor kid, though. He wasn't supposed to get involved in this kinda crap."  
"How we went from eight hours ago to this, I'll never know." Ruby sighed, shaking her head. "Come on, guys. At least we have a fun story to tell Nora, though, right guys?"

"I suspect she'd be even more entertained if something even stupider had happened…." The heiress grumbled, before exiting the cell.

Blake pulled herself up, groaning. "…I think I should've kept working on Nanami….."

"That _was_ the best night out we've had, though, right?" Yang offered. Ruby shook her head.

"…..no, not really."  
"You guys weren't this boring eight hours ago!" The brawler complained, frowning, before looking to Blake. "Here, kitten, I'll help ya out."

"How the Dust did we even get into this situation…." The catgirl groaned, taking Yang's hand and walking behind her out of the cell, trying to recall within her addled mind the circumstances that had lead them to end up here….

….

_Eight Hours Ago, RWBY Dorm….._

It was a relatively normal afternoon in Beacon. Classes had finished for the day- pretty usual, with Self-Defence with Professor Fall in the morning, History with Professor Oobleck before lunch, and Weaponcrafting with Professor Arc in the afternoon. The sun lazily shone through the dorm windows, and the sky clear of clouds, but the girls with the exception of Blake were lying in the dorm in various states of boredom and disinterest instead of doing something outside. Perhaps it was the trouble of having Weaponcrafting last, or the fact that it had been somewhat of a long day; either way, none of the girls could be bothered to do much of anything.

"I'm bored, Weiss." Yang complained, lying flat on her stomach in bed, groaning and tiredly throwing a ball against the dorm wall. Weiss sighed, not even looking up from her book- a small manual on maintenance of Dust-based weapons- and sipping from her 'Number One Girlfriend' mug.

"You know, I seem to notice that whenever _you're_ bored, _we_ end up doing something that gets me pranked or subject to antics."  
"Hey, I apologised and tried to make up for it." The brawler pouted. "And that's not even what we're talking about! Aren't you bored too?"

Ruby was snuggled up in her blankets, huddling in bed with a bag of cookies. She peered over the edge of her bed.

"Maybe you should treat us all out to dinner in town or something." The reaper suggested. "I mean, the last time we just went out, alone, as a team, we-"  
"I thought we promised never to speak about that time?" Weiss harshly reminded her. Ruby nodded suddenly, remembering what it was they had sworn never to speak of again.

"O-oh! Right! Yeah."  
"We're never talking about that one again." Yang nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "But, point stands, we need something to do!

Screw it! I'm making a sweeping declaration! We're going out tonight! Just us four! Girls' night out!"  
"And you're paying, right?" Weiss remarked.

"No way. I'm still waiting on my payslip." Yang shook her head, sighing. "I really need to get a better job."  
"I still can't believe you of all people can hold down a job." The heiress commented. "One of these days, we should _really_ visit your place of work."

"Oh, you guys'd love it." Yang chuckled. "Really. It's a fun job. It just….doesn't pay enough. Really, I'll even show you the-"

The girls were interrupted by their fourth member Blake bursting into the room, looking incensed.

Yang frowned. "Blakey, you look a little angry. What happened?"

"The nerve of Sun!" The catgirl snapped. "The scumbag stole the last tuna sandwich from the cafeteria! How dare he?!"  
Weiss grumbled. "And I thought it was something worth getting irritated about."  
"Tuna sandwiches are the _preserve_ of manly meals!" The catgirl snapped at the heiress. "How _dare_ he take the last one?!"

Yang looked a little disappointed, before shaking her head. "Eh. I know what'll calm you down, kitten.

Girls' night out. Just us…..four. You know, it'll be fun!"

Weiss raised an eyebrow at Yang pausing briefly between words, but shrugged it off. "And Yang's paying."  
"Dammit, we're all paying. I can't pay for all of you! Especially Rubes, she'll eat like a thousand cookies!" The brawler complained.

Ruby pouted, crossing her arms. "Hey! I can't help it!"  
"Ruby, there's _can't help it _and there's _I must have all the cookies pweaaase._" The brawler reminded her. "Honestly, sometimes, I think you use your cute, overly-adorable moe charms to persuade people to give you more cookies."  
"She's not like you, Yang." Weiss quipped. "She doesn't feel the need to flaunt her charms."  
"At least she has them, Weiss."  
The heiress facepalmed at herself for having not seen that comment coming- in hindsight, she'd left herself open for a remark like that.

So, the heiress seethed, conceding victory to the brawler for now. "…..ggh…."

"So, now that we've decided that we're all going out, where should we go?" Ruby asked her team, who looked between themselves.

"Maybe we should go check out that new seafood place by the docks." Yang offered. "Y'know, the one that isn't a Schnee place? I mean, I don't actually remember where I first heard of it from, but I know someone told me about it…."

Blake had to shake the urge to drool over the prospect of well-cooked Valean tuna off, blinking as she looked over at the brawler. "S-sure! T-that sounds nice."

"It's a sound suggestion." Weiss shrugged, before raising her finger to add something. "Perhaps we might then visit the Dust store? I'm in need of some more Dust for Myrtenaster."  
"Now that you mention it, I've been running a little low myself." The brawler admitted, looking towards Ember Celica, currently kept together by a strap and hanging off the wall of the dorm next to her bed. "Yeah, we're due a new box or two of Dust rounds."

"Now that you mention it, actually, I need some more parts for maintenance on my mecha. We should probably head out." The catgirl exhaled deeply. "Alright, I'm in for this. We should probably grab some dinner first, no?"

Yang pumped her fist, cheering. "Alright! Sounds like a date! Say, we get ready now, leave in half an hour to an hour?"  
"Yay!" Ruby cheered with her sister.

"And we're _not_ passing by a cookie shop this time. We already bought you enough cookies the _last _time we went out to feed every Hunter in the first two years of Beacon."

"Awww….." The reaper's spirits sank and she looked down, whimpering. Weiss flinched, resisting the immediate urge to hug her.

"She's doing it again, Yang. Make her _stop_."  
"She learned from the best~" The brawler winked at her, holding her thumb up and smirking mischievously.

* * *

_An hour later, just outside Beacon…._

Yang waited by her beloved car, the Yangmobile, standing in the street outside the Beacon walls in its silver and gold glory. The paintjob was pristine, but the custom rims she had installed were a bit dented from a small traffic accident she'd had a couple of months back, and the upholstery of the front passenger seat was a little damaged from some mugger accidentally knocking Nora into the seat with her hot coffee, but apart from that, her beloved car was still good.

The rest of the team came out; Blake with her slender white trenchcoat, Weiss in her light-blue fur-lined winter coat and Ruby with her usual hood and cape, walking towards her. Yang whistled.

"Wow. You guys came dressed for the occasion. Loving the trenchcoat, Blakey~"

The catgirl blushed a little. "U-um…."  
"Come off it. She didn't even flirt with you _that_ hard this time, Belladonna." Weiss remarked, looking at her strangely. "Why do you insist on flirting with her so much?"  
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." Yang answered, smiling. The heiress threw her hands up.

"Why do I even ask? You'll never give me a straight answer. Whatever. Let's get going before Nora catches wind and tries to drive us to Pancake Land again."  
"No wonder no government on this good planet has seen it fit to give her a driver's license." Yang quipped, before opening the doors for her friends to climb in.

…..

_Twenty minutes later…._

Weiss was the first to push her way out of Yang's car, glaring at her. "Did you really have to put that dustawful rap music on?"  
"Hey, you complained when I put on some of the classics!" Yang reminded her, pouting.

"The classics are the great Valean composers like Eurydice and Apollonius. That rock-filled nonsense from the Achieve Men is _not_."

"Says the girl who listens to Rammstein."

"Metal and rock are two different things."

Blake cleared her throat, getting their attention. "So. Where's the seafood place?"

"Oh, right." Yang held up her finger and pointing down the road towards the shopping centre. "This way! It's down this road, I think."

"Are you sure we can't have cookies?" Ruby inquired, whimpering. Weiss facepalmed.

"For the last time, Ruby, I love you, and you're possibly the most adorable girl in the Four Kingdoms, but you're not adorable enough for me to want to spend another _cent _on cookies for you."  
"Fine….." The reaper just pouted and followed her.

Vale City was very much abuzz with activity around this time of year. With the approaching summer holidays, the Schnee Dust Company and the few franchises who had managed to make headway through the Company's monopoly were setting up everything they could to take advantage of the inevitable summer rush of customers. Everyone from Dust retailers to fast food companies to pet suppliers- Weiss swore she could see an entire truck loaded with catnip driving past- were stocking up to make up for demand, and one event currently happening in the city centre was one of the many festivals held in Vale to celebrate the end of summer and the start of autumn, the Harvest Festival.

So, of course, various shopkeepers and retail workers were at work putting up decorations and setting up Harvest displays in and around the city centre, and this is the background through which team RWBY was walking through.

"You know, this year's been going pretty fast." Yang mused. "I mean, next week, it's the end of school, isn't it?"  
"Oh, right." Weiss nodded. "Yes, it is indeed the end of school next week. Father was going to invite the rest of you to our summer house near the beach Jaune's uncle owns for a few weeks before we come back to Beacon for the rest of the holidays, so I was wondering what you all might think."

Ruby stared at her. "What, seriously?"

"Of course. He seems to think I couldn't stand being without you all." The heiress remarked, scoffing. Yang grinned. "You'd miss us too much."  
"I doubt that."

"End of school, then a whole month of nothing but doing nothing until we come back to school." Blake commented, frowning. "Sounds unmanly to me. I'll pass."  
"Oh come on!" Yang frowned. "Don't be so boring. We should really hang out all together, you know? I mean, we have one year left, so we've got to savour it all!"

"You're unusually profound." Weiss remarked, smiling a little. "Sentimental?"  
"I'm just saying. I mean, after Beacon….I mean, we're all pretty lucky. Weiss, you're probably going to end up marrying Rubes, so us three, we're always going to be seeing each other, and Blakey here's always invited, but you think about it- nobody else is as lucky to have a team so close to each other.

So, y'know, just savour the time we have left!"

Blake stared at her, surprised. "Wow. You really did get a little sentimental."  
"Well, if you left me, I'd miss you….guys. Yes, I'd miss you _guys_." The brawler hastily added, hoping Blake hadn't noticed.

Weiss chuckled. "I wish I saw this side of you more often. It's far more useful to us."  
"Yeah, well, can't not have the antics. Which reminds me, we're overdue a few~"  
"…good Dust no." The heiress suddenly looked far more irritated than she did minutes ago. Suddenly, Ruby pointed up at something.

"Hey! We're here!" The reaper chirped happily.

Team RWBY looked up to see a small sign over a large glass window panel, with the restaurant name, _A Good Catch_, printed across in teal cursive script. The restaurant was indeed, though not packed to bursting, abuzz with patrons, and it stood out in the street of SDC outfits and franchises. Yang snapped her fingers. "You know, I just remember who told me about this place. I never told you guys about me and Ruby's grandma, right?"

Weiss shook her head. "No, not at all."  
"Grandma's so cool!" Ruby squealed happily. "Wait, Weiss….have you seriously never heard of someone called Demeter Rose?"  
"Demeter Rose?" The heiress squinted. "…..that….actually rings a bell. Yes. She was one of the Huntresses involved in the legendary slaying of the Mus Major Grimm about….forty years ago? And one of the few Hunters with the title _Fafnisbane_? I had thought she had no relation to you, given she's almost legendary as a Huntress."  
"Nope, that's old Grams for you." Yang chuckled. "I mean, she hasn't been in Vale for ten years- she's been out in the country doing some farming- but she came back apparently just two days ago and had lunch with Jaune's granddad- apparently she and Anton Arc go way back.

That's where I remember them talking about this place!"

Blake chuckled. "Your grandma sounds badass. We need to meet her. Soon."  
"Oh, she says she might drop into Beacon one of these days to see how we are." Ruby shrugged. "But eh, let's talk about that some other time. Food calls!"

The catgirl suddenly was recalled to the fact that they were indeed in front of a seafood restaurant. Her heightened senses, of course, picked up on the whiff of tuna in the air.

She couldn't help but drool this time.

"Y-yes…." The catgirl murmured. "We s-should go…..i-in…."  
"Gross." Weiss muttered, shaking her head and resisting the urge to slap Blake around the head. "Let's just go in already."

* * *

_Fifteen minutes later…_

Team RWBY was settled in place, having sat down and given their orders out, waiting for them to come to the table. Weiss was calmly browsing on her phone, Ruby was rapping the table with her fingers, and Yang and Blake were talking- to be precise, Yang was talking, and Blake was half-lucid and drooling over the concept of well-cooked and ready Valean tuna.

"Heheheh….t-tuna…." The catgirl murmured. Yang waved her hand in front of Blake's face.

"Hey, Blakey! Vale to Blakey! Come in!"  
"Tuuuunaaaaa….."  
"Hey, Blake, tanks are the best and you're not getting any tuna!"  
The catgirl glared at her. "What did you just say?!"  
"Teehee~" The brawler smirked. "I knew that'd get your attention. I was trying to talk to you, dammit."  
"About?"  
"I mean…..um….err….how do I say this?" Yang thought carefully. "I mean….it might sound a little stupid, but-"  
"But? Stupid's what I do." Blake shrugged. "After all, the manly do stupid things in the pursuit of manliness, the ultimate goal!"  
"Y-yeah….um…." Yang shook her head. "It's not that kinda thing. I was actually going to propose a-"

Suddenly, a loud crash issued from the front of the restaurant, and a hooded man sprinted through the front of the restaurant, running towards the table and knocking Weiss onto the floor, who glared at him.

"Hey!" The heiress snapped as she pulled herself off the floor, with some help from her neighbours. "Watch where you're going!"

The man didn't answer, instead running past her and heading to the back of the restaurant. Weiss huffed. "The nerve of these people, bumping into me and not apologising!"

"There's worse things that could happen." The brawler reminded her. Weiss huffed, shaking her head, checking her pockets as she picked up everything that had fallen onto the floor.

"Hehe…..wait. Wait." A look of dawning realization spread across her face.  
"?" Ruby stared at her, confused. "What's wrong?"

"…..my wallet." The heiress repeated, patting her pockets. "My wallet's gone missing, and I had it before I feell over…."  
"Nothing on the floor." Yang shook her head. "…..I think you just got pickpocketed."

"_Just __**wonderful." **_ Weiss seethed, irritated. _"Tonight_, of all nights, I get robbed.

Why did I not see this coming?"

* * *

**To be continued…..**

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter, the chaos of the night will begin in earnest! Just how DID Team RWBY end up in jail? Who stole her wallet? What was the catnip for? Find out next time!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, thoughts, criticisms and reviews, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	95. Weiss Reacts to Team Outings, Part 2!

**Weiss Reacts to Team Outings, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Last time was….hectic. We found out our heroes got jailed, shenanigans happened and now Weiss got her purse stolen. Well. Insanity's got to ensue, after all, and so I deliver. Hahaha. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!**

**Ahem. Anyway, am I the only person who can't believe that we're actually nearly at the end of another volume of Weiss Reacts? Seriously, though, we're actually pretty close! Just one more chapter after this and we're going into the finale! Just….wow. I almost don't want to get this volume over with. Eh. Let's get on with it!  
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have either a Grimm based on Humbaba or a maid-themed Huntress.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

Weiss seethed, clenching her fist as she mastered her temper, restraining her increasing anger.

Tonight, of all nights, a thief had decided to steal her purse and had managed to catch her during a moment of vulnerability. She silently cursed herself for allowing that to happen to herself.

"Just wonderful," grumbled the heiress. She instinctively reached for Myrtenaster, only to remember she had left her rapier at Beacon, sitting in her weapons locker for practice tomorrow. The heiress' eyes narrowed, irritated.

Ruby looked behind her to watch as the man ran away with Weiss' purse. "I'll go after him, guys. Weiss, just stay put, alright?"

"No, I'm coming with you so when we identify the fool who made the unwise decision to steal my purse, we can apprehend him and adequately punish him for his transgressions!" The heiress snapped indignantly. "We should hurry up and pursue him, lest we lose the trail!"  
"Dammit, then I'm coming too!" Yang stood up, cracking her knuckles with an audacious smirk. "This little punk needs a good ol' fashioned whupping, and I'm pretty happy to give him some!"

Blake sighed, shaking her head and rubbing her eyes before she got up and joined Yang. "Then I guess I'll have to go too, if all of you guys are going. No point for me to stay behind and wait for you guys."

'_And I was so looking forward to actually having that tuna…..'_ The catgirl thought, mourning the thought of lost delectable seafood.

Ruby put on her hood, getting ready to run out of the door, her eyes still following what she could see of the man. "Well, come on! He'll get away if we don't hurry up! We've gotta go! Now!"

"Go ahead, Rubes." Yang suggested. "We'll just have to catch up to you. Hurry!"  
The reaper nodded, and in the blink of an eye and the rush of displaced wind, Ruby was gone, having sprinted out of the café to give pursuit to the hapless fool. Weiss simply shook her head, grumbling.

"I was too careless." The heiress muttered. "Too, too careless. Grah!"  
"It happens to the best of us." The brawler reminded her, smiling. "Besides, it's not like you could've seen that coming. All we gotta do now is catch him. We'll do it!"

"…..you're being far too reassuring." Weiss commented, shuddering. "I…..I really don't like that."

Blake rolled her eyes. "Talking isn't a free action in the real world, you know! Quit jabbering and let's go!"

"Right, right!" Yang threw her hands up and began sprinting towards the door. "This intro's taking way too long anyway."  
"I swear, Xiao Long, I still don't understand half the things you jabber on about…." The heiress remarked as she began to run behind her, miniature glyphs under her feet giving her an extra spring in her step to boost her farther, and followed closely behind by Blake, who spared the table one last mournful glance.

"…..someday." The catgirl wistfully remarked. "Tuna'll have to wait. Oh well."

* * *

_Meanwhile…._

Ruby stayed in close pursuit of the thief, a trail of rose petals flying behind her, keeping her eye on him and managing to dodge and weave through the crowds of people piling through the shopping centre in the evening rush. Several metres in front of her, the thief held Weiss' purse close to their body, the white leather bag standing out in contrast to their black hoodie, and spared one glance at his pursuer.

Then he hurriedly turned away and tried to run a little bit faster.

Ruby's normally angelic face was hardened into one that appeared to be calm and almost neutral. Of course, given that this was, after all, _Ruby_, to have someone so hyperactive and bombastic was unsettling and scary- and currently, she was in the worst possible mood possible.

This fool had stolen her girlfriend's purse. He needed to be taught a lesson.

"Hey!" The reaper yelled ahead through the crowd. "Come back here! Thief! Thief!"  
At that, the crowd moved aside, partially at the warning of a criminal in the crowd, but partially to get out of the way of an _incredibly_ fast teenage Huntress.

'_Just a bit closer…..'_ Ruby thought as she reached out to the thief's back, almost touching him. _'If I could just reach closer….'_

Her hand just brushed across the folds of his hoodie. She tried to push up a little further….

'_Come on, come on! Just a bit…..gotcha!'_

Her middle finger could just touch the side of a fold, and her fingers brushed the edge.

'_I'm touching him! Just a bit __**more**__! Come on!'_

With one final effort, Ruby sped up that little bit, pressing her hand into grabbing distance. Her hand immediately gripped on what she could touch, and the thief seized, realising what was going on.

'_Got him! You're mine now! Get…..__**down**__!'_

She grabbed a clump of his hoodie and immediately pressed into him, pushing her weight into him and tackling him to the ground. Huntress and thief fell to the ground in a messy heap, spilling across the promenade. Weiss' purse skittered away from the thief's body, skidding to a stop just out of reach of both him and Ruby.

"Gotcha!" Ruby announced triumphantly, pinning the thief's arm behind his back. "Don't move! I'm a Huntress, I know what I'm doing!"  
"Dammit, let go of me!" The thief protested. "This is assault! Get off of me!"  
"I'm apprehending you in the name of the law!" The reaper called out, before giggling slightly. "…..hehehe. I've always wanted to say that."  
The thief sighed exasperatedly. "A _kid_ caught me?! Are you serious?!"

"Be quiet!" Ruby ordered. "As a Huntress, I have the authority to apprehend you and prevent you from escaping with a crime! I am also armed!"

'_Well, I don't have Cress on me, but I'm sure I can probably take him on, right?'_

The sound of footsteps approached, as Weiss and the rest of the gang came up behind her, looking down at their friend. The heiress tutted disapprovingly, bending down to look her assailant in the eye.

"So, this is the fool who thought it might be a good idea to steal my purse." The heiress remarked, staring down at the criminal. "What do you have to say for yourself now, scum?"  
"Gggh…..this is assault…." The thief muttered weakly, knowing he was defeated. One Huntress was bad news, especially for someone with no Aura and no Semblance. Four were certain death at the very least.

He slackened, letting out an exasperated sigh. Today just wasn't his day, it seemed- after all, he had had the fortune of stealing from not one, but four Huntresses.

Yang frowned. "Awww. And I was looking forward to a little fight. Are you sure I can't punch him?"  
"Yang, we're here to get my wallet back, not deliver beatings, although believe me, corporal punishment does seem like an excellent idea." Weiss remarked, glaring angrily at their apprehended victim. Ruby pulled herself up, smiling, pinning him down with one of her feet.

"Got him for you, Weiss~"  
"Thanks." The heiress responded, smiling and leaning in to give her a grateful kiss on the cheek. "Maybe I _might_ buy you a box of cookies."  
Ruby gasped happily. "Really?"  
"…on second thought, that might be going a little too far."  
"Awww…."

Blake suddenly pointed in front of them. "If we caught him, where's Weiss' purse?"  
The heiress glared at her. "What do you mean?"  
"It's not…..here." The catgirl's eyes had been searching around, attempting to locate her purse…..and she had found it, with the strap snagged on the bumper of one of the trucks leading to elsewhere in the shopping centre; presumably, the truck was there to deliver supplies to get ready for the Harvest Festival in a few days, judging from the large 'Schnee Party Supplies' sign on the back doors.

Yang stared at the back of the truck, disbelieving for once the absurdity of the situaton. "Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me. Seriously?"  
"Out of the frying pan and into the fire." Weiss grumbled. "How _appropriate._"

Ruby frowned. "Aw, come on! Do I have to run after that, too?"

"It seems." Blake remarked, sighing and searching through her satchel, before producing a roll of rope. Ruby stared at her strangely.

"What's that for?"

"We're tying up this guy. We're turning him in." The catgirl reminded her as she knelt down and expertly tied his arms and legs up, before propping him up against a nearby lamppost.

Weiss crossed her arms, examining the path the truck had taken. "Well, we're going to have to go after it. Come on, we can't stay long! Let's go!"

Ruby inhaled briefly. "That's disappointing, but I don't need to run, right?"  
"Probably not." Weiss shrugged. "It's not that far. I'm sure we'll find it. What could possi-urk! Yang!"

"_Never_ say stuff like that! You know those times when you complain about how much things go wrong for you?" The brawler cautioned her, staring at her. "This is one of those times. Just keep your mouths shut and hopefully nothing _else_ happens!"  
"You seem awfully wary of antics." The heiress raised an eyebrow. "You're planning something, aren't you-"  
"I NEED FOOD DAMMIT!" Yang screeched suddenly, taking the heiress aback.

Weiss glared at her. "What was that for-"  
"Just shut up and let's go get your purse! I'm starving, dammit!" Yang snapped, before storming off towards the truck. Weiss shook her head, brushing her ruffled clothing down and running after her.

"What a change of mood _that_ was…." The heiress muttered under her breath.

Blake raised an eyebrow, amused by the raging heiress. "Pot calling the kettle black?"  
"Be _quiet_, Belladonna."

* * *

_Minutes later…._

Team RWBY sprinted through the shopping centre, yelling to get everyone out of the way.

"COMING THROUGH!" Yang roared over the din of the crowd. "LOST PURSE! GIRL NEEDS TO GET HER PURSE!"

Weiss grumbled. "Don't be so obnoxious! We're tracking a truck to find my purse, not peddling street food on a cart!"

"Do you want your purse back or not?"  
"Just keep looking up, guys!" Ruby warned, running just ahead of the other three. "We've got to keep our eyes on the truck! We'll lose sight of it!"  
"It's more than a little hard to keep an eye on a truck in the middle of a huge crowd like this!" Blake snapped, peering over the crowds.

Indeed, this close to the Harvest Festival, there were hundreds of people filing in and around the shops, employees and customers alike, strolling across the promenades and the road cutting through. Over the sea of heads, Blake could scarcely see the truck that Weiss' purse had gotten strapped to, even standing as the second tallest of the group. She instinctively reached for Gambol Shroud in order to hook it onto a nearby high area to jump up, before realising that it, like Myrtenaster, was in a weapons locker in Beacon for practice tomorrow.

She seethed, clenching her teeth in frustration, before turning to her friends, waving her hand to grab their attention.

"We need to get out of this crowd, else we'll never get to that truck in time!"

"I can see a turn in the road ahead!" Ruby yelled back at them, pointing ahead. "How about we split up? Weiss and I will follow directly behind the truck, and you two try to cut it off through an alleyway!"  
Yang instantly looked around her surroundings, searching for one and finding it to their left. She nodded at her sister, approving of her plan.

"Good plan, Rubes! If anyone gets the purse, we call each other and meet back at the restaurant! The heiress nodded in assent. "We might be able to salvage tonight!"

Yang groaned. "You know, you're just tempting fate if you say that!"  
"What else am I _supposed_ to say, this night is doomed and we might as well consign my purse to the exhaust of a random truck?!"

Blake suddenly grabbed Yang's hand and yanked her aside. "We'll head to the alley now. Meet you there."  
"Ooh! At least buy me dinner first~" The brawler responded, smirking. The catgirl blushed, but she remained silent as she dragged her into the alleyway to pursue the truck, pushing through the crowds almost seamlessly.

Weiss huffed angrily, continuing to sprint behind Ruby. "I can't for the life of me figure out why she keeps flirting with her! Next thing you'll tell me, she's actually in love with her!"  
"You never know!" The reaper reminded her, before taking her hand. "Now hurry up! We'll never get your purse back if you don't, and we don't have time to figure out whether Yang's got a crush or not!"

* * *

_In the alleyway_….

Yang and Blake sauntered down the alley, the path in front of them strewn with old posters, discarded Dust cartridges and food wrappers. Yang exhaled, frowning.

"Dammit….." The brawler cursed. "I was looking forward to having that tuna…."  
Blake glared at her. "Don't remind me. You know how much I love tuna."  
"Just our luck, that some random pickpocket decided to run into us, I suppose." The brawler shrugged as she ran. "Then again, without that, Elf wouldn't have a chapter for this week."  
"…you know, I've been noticing something about you." The catgirl commented. Yang's eyes widened briefly, before she mastered herself, trying to hide her surprise.  
"O-oh? What do you mean?"  
"You…..I mean, you're you, and you like flirting." Blake reminded her, her cheeks reddening slightly. "But…..you seem to want to flirt with me a lot more nowadays. Why?"  
"….well, you know, I like pretty girls, and you're the prettiest!" Yang responded, smirking, attempting to hide her clear panic.

It was a lot easier to hide her feelings when she wasn't all alone with her in an alley, she realised, and a lot easier to hide it under flirting, teasing and other such activities such as she participated in.

Blake shook her head. "No, no, that's not it. I know you too well. Why are you _actually_ flirting with me?"  
"I just told you, you're-"  
"Don't tell me that!" Blake interrupted her. "You've got another reason for it! Is this for some antic or something?"

"Um…." The brawler looked down, her eyes darting around as she desperately tried to think of a way to deflect the question.

'_Dammit! I can't tell her how I really feel about her right now! This isn't the time! Distraction, dammit, distraction!'_

Suddenly, as if sent by a merciful god, the sound of a turning truck echoed through the passage. Yang cut her partner off. "I think that's the truck!"

Blake's gaze turned to the opposite end of the alley, where the sound of the truck's engine was coming from and slowly approaching the opening. All thoughts of Yang's strange behaviour were forgotten that moment.

"Quickly, then!" The catgirl ordered. "Faster!" She sprinted towards the opening to catch up to the truck.

Yang took a moment to sigh in relief. _'Dodged a bullet there. No way. I….I'll have to wait for a better opportunity to admit it.'_

She followed Blake hurriedly, trying to keep pace with her faster partner.

….

Weiss and Ruby, meanwhile, were maintaining a short distance behind the truck. The heiress was trying to find a good, clear stretch to use her glyphs on, allowing her to propel herself and Ruby forward next to the truck.

"First I get robbed and then my purse somehow gets snagged on a truck's bumper…." The heiress muttered under her breath. "This is utterly ridiculous….."

"I think we can just about reach the bumper!" Ruby announced. "I mean, if you can just slide us forward with a glyph or two, I can grab it!"  
"I need to get to a clear spot!" Weiss reminded her, trying to scan the crowds ahead for any gaps from which she could use a glyph. "Come on, come on…."  
"There!" The reaper pointed directly at a gap she'd spotted. "You can do it there!"  
Weiss nodded, grabbing Ruby's arm and running quickly towards the spot. "On it!"

…..

Blake looked to Yang. "On my count of three, we run out and grab the purse."  
"Right." The brawler nodded, keeping her eyes on the opening. The sound of the engine was approaching. "You sure we can just yank it off?"  
"Well, I'm trusting you to. You're strong enough."  
"Are you sure? We're trying to get the purse, not break a truck!"

The catgirl shook her head. "Doesn't matter. We've got to get that purse before the truck drives away from here! And if we break it, we explain to Siegfried, and at best, we work to pay it off!"  
"Gggh….I don't really wanna work, but fine." The brawler readied herself to run towards the opening, clenching her hands to prepare for the grab.

The truck drew closer to the opening…

….

Weiss skidded to a stop at the area Ruby had pointed out, looking around to ensure nobody was at risk of walking in front of her and being smashed into by both of them. When she was sure there was no risk, she held Ruby close to her side, and the reaper wrapped both arms around her waist to hang on for dear life.

"Don't let go. You remember the last time you did that when I was helping carry you with my glyphs, right?" The heiress reminded her. Ruby shuddered.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. I'm not eager to do _that_ again….."

Weiss sighed, before closing her eyes, as a long line of glyphs appeared between her and the back of the truck.

"Here goes nothing….." The heiress declared, before gliding across them, carrying Ruby with her- with quite a bit of effort, as the reaper was taller than her by at least a head- as the latter reached out with one hand, reaching for the bag…..

….

The trucks were approaching. Blake began her count.

"One….."  
They could just see the front of the bumper. Yang tensed slightly, adjusting her leg to help her spring forwards faster.

"Two…."  
The front mirror was visible now, and the small Schnee logo signifying the truck belonging to one of the company's outfits was half visible.

"….THREE!" The moment the word was out of her mouth, the catgirl was already gone, halfway down the alley. Yang was slower, barely, and was just behind her by a few inches.

Just enough to be able to make out the sign on the side; Schnee Pet Supplies, with a large warning sign on the side warning Faunus with cat traits to stay away.

The brawler scarcely had time to warn Blake, apart from a wordless shout and an attempt to pull her back-

…

Weiss and Ruby skidded onto the sidewalk, the purse in the latter's hands, disengaging from each other and surveying their work.

Ruby sighed in relief. "I can't believe that actually worked. Nice job, Weiss~"  
"It wasn't hard to predict how much farther it would go." The heiress declared proudly. "It was child's play to place one or two more glyphs to propel me that bit farther, after all.

I guess we just have to call Yang and-"

A loud _crash_ ensued from nearby. Both girls froze as they saw a barrel of catnip roll out of the back of the truck in front of the truck they'd reacquired the purse from, with Blake halfway submerged into it and Yang tripping onto their side of the road trying to yank her out, pulling barrel and teammate alike with her.

The pair collapsed into a mess onto the side of the road, with the catgirl covered in catnip cuttings and the brawler face-down on the ground, catnip lodged in her hair.

Ruby and Weiss ran across, looking down at them. The reaper knelt down next to Yang, helping her up.

"Guys! What happened? I thought you were tracking our truck?" She inquired worriedly. The brawler groaned, pulling herself up.

"We _thought_ we were….." Yang explained, rubbing her forehead and face clean of dirt from the sidewalk before standing up straight. "…we accidentally tracked a truck of pet supplies…."  
"Hehehe…" Blake giggled, standing up and stumbling into Yang's shoulder. "You….heheh….smell good…."  
Weiss facepalmed, exasperated with her lot that night. "And now, she got a faceful of catnip. How _convenient."_

Ruby sighed, frowning. "…this isn't good. Doesn't it take _longer_ in Faunus to get catnip out of their system than in cats?"  
Yang helped up her partner, supporting her with her arm despite the fact that Blake was currently pawing at her chest, giggling happily. "C-can we hurry up? I think I know somewhere we can go. There's a clinic nearby, and they might be able to deal with Blakey's problem over here."

The heiress grumbled, but acquiesced to her suggestion. "We may as well. I'd rather just get this whole thing over with so we can actually _eat_ something."

"Just HURRY UP!" The brawler snapped, trying pointedly to ignore the catgirl trying to crawl up to her chest, again.

"Heehehehe…..so soft….." Blake uttered, her eyes vacant and her tone more lax than usual.

* * *

_Minutes later…._

"Blake! BLAKE!" Yang warned, trying to reach for the catgirl's hand as she stumbled into the nearby Dust shop _From Dust Until Dawn, _pointing at the vials of Dust on the wall. The shopkeeper looked up from the counter, staring at the newcomer.

"Hey! No drunks in here!" He called. "I've had enough drunk people come in here and break all my wares, you know!"

Ruby ran in after her teammates, looking apologetically at the shopkeeper. "We're so sorry! This isn't our fault, we swear! She tripped and fell into some catnip!"

"Catnip, you say?" The shopkeeper blinked. "…she's a Faunus?"  
"I'm a pretty kitty!" Blake declared, pointing at herself proudly, before looking at all the Dust on the walls. "Oooh, rainbows!"  
"HEY!" The shopkeeper yelled. "You can't just-"

"They're so nice!" The catgirl uttered, poking at the containers and giggling. "Nice and pretty! Can I have some?"  
"Catnip infestation." Weiss announced as she walked in, attempting to wrench Blake off of the displays. "We're sorry about this, good sir. I'm sure you're aware of catnip's effects on-"

Suddenly, Blake let out a loud squeal of excitement and latched onto a nearby dispenser, laughing.

"Catnip! CATNIP!"

Before Yang, Weiss or Ruby could stop her, Blake broke open the side, sniffing the catnip within and whooping loudly and joyously.

"YEAAAAAH!" The catgirl declared. "That's the stuff!"

Weiss just stared at the shopkeeper in disbelief. "_Why_ for Dust's sake would you _keep a catnip dispenser in a Dust shop?!_"  
"That's a catnip dispenser?!" He looked at her with equal uncomprehending confusion, before it had dawned upon him that his mistake might have well cost him. "…oh Dust, I must've bought the wrong dispenser! Quickly, get her out of her before-"

"Oooh, ooh!" Blake purred happily, before leaping onto Yang. "Soft! SOOOOOFT!"  
"Gah! Blakey! Watch out!" The brawler warned, tripping backwards and falling onto a nearby shelf of Dust vials.

Ruby, Weiss and the shopkeeper futilely reached out to stop them, but it was too late.

The combined weight of the pair tipped over not one, but three shelves of Dust, spilling the valuable essence all over the floor, and cracked open the containers on the wall.

The containers, of course, were alarmed; if broken, they would sound a loud klaxon and simultaneously summon the police department to stop the thieves in progress. In theory, they were meant to stop the likes of the White Fang from simply walking in and breaking the containers to take the Dust.

In practice, all it did was top off the night of a bunch of hapless Huntresses by summoning the police to a scene of utter destruction and wasted money.

* * *

_Hours later….._

"…..pfhahahah!" Siegfried Schnee laughed, listening to the retelling of the story as team RWBY recalled it, driving them back to Beacon in his car- he was having one of his valets drive Yang's car back up- and wiped a tear from his eyes. "Oh, that is _rich_."  
"Father, you are supposed to be _condemning_ such behaviour!" Weiss cried indignantly. "What are you doing?"  
"I would…..but I'd be lying if I say this isn't anywhere near as bad as what I got up to with my friends when I was your age." Siegfried reminded her, scoffing. "Myself, Alexander and the rest of us? Heh. We almost thought it was a rite of passage to accidentally jail yourselves! You should've seen Taiyang! When he wasn't being a softie about Summer or Yin, he was getting up to it with the worst of us!"  
"You're not being a good role model." The heiress remarked, glaring at him.

"Oh Dust…..I hate catnip….." Blake muttered, slumping forwards to rest her head on the front seat. "Good Dust….to think I did that…."  
"Well, at least the guy's not pressing charges." Yang shrugged. "That's cool, right?"

Ruby sighed, shaking her head.

"…that was…..that was a terrible night out. Can we not do that again?"  
"Agreed." Weiss responded hastily.

"Never again…." Blake moaned, before closing her eyes to rest.

Yang rolled her eyes. "I suppose…..but come on, we ended up in jail for a night! That's got to count for something, right?"

Weiss pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to contain her irritation.  
"Just…just shut up. Please."

The brawler huffed, shrugging. "…..fine, fine. Still….

….that was a very, very interesting night."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: Good god, those shenanigans. Well, wasn't that something?**

**Next time, Weiss Reacts to Breather Episodes! Rather appropriately, a breather episode for us before we dig in to the finale of the volume! Woo!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	96. Weiss Reacts to Breather Episodes!

**Weiss Reacts to Breather Episodes!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Yeah, last chapter was a bit of a missed opportunity. I wasn't on my A-game when I was typing it out; a little stressed with college and people being crazy- but I'm recovered, I'm back, and I'm ready to go! And with four chapters after this for the finale, what timing! I've also been busy scouting out fics to attempt to acquire for Volume 3 apart from those we've already been confirmed to get, so keep an eye out! **

**Let's get on with this!  
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise we would have more musically-based Hunters. (Apart from Roman, who has all of one vaguely music-ish reference.)**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"….humph." Weiss groaned, resting her head on her pillow, her normally well-groomed ivory hair scattered all about, untied and untouched. She had just finished working on an assignment for Professor Fall- one about working on a specific series of movements that would be able to counter an Ursa's paw strike with one's weapon- and now she hadn't a thing to do.

"Nothing at all to do." The heiress complained, grumbling and rolling over in bed. Truly, she was bored, and truly, for the first time, she felt a little jealous of the rest of her team; Yang with her antics, Ruby with her seeming ability to entertain herself out of nowhere, and Blake who at least had various giant robots to be working with. She, on the other hand…..had absolutely nothing to do.

"Gah!" Weiss screeched, sitting up upright suddenly. "This is ridiculous! What is there that I can do? I can't possibly be _bored_! I've had all year to accumulate things to do, surely I must have something I can do!

Maybe I can play games…..no….no, that might go horribly wrong. I've played enough to know that…"

The heiress shook her head, discounting that option. "…..no….perhaps reading a fanfic? No, no, that's not it…..

Tch. What does someone have to do to entertain themselves? Perhaps I should ask Ruby if she wants to do anything." Weiss mused, before snapping her fingers, hitting on something she might be able to do.

"That's it! Ruby! Heh. I should've thought of that first; of course _she_ might have something exciting to play around with!" The heiress declared. "Hehehehehe….for the first time, I'm grateful my girlfriend's insanely hyperactive. Now, I just need to find her…."

Weiss stood up, deciding not to fix her hair in place for now and slipping on her bolero jacket, before pacing the dorm. "Where did she say she was going again? Ah, right, the forges! She wanted to do something there!

That's it! We're off there! Then, maybe, I might be able to find something to do today."

Invigorated with the prospect of a release from her boredom, the heiress set off out from the dorm, walking briskly down the corridors to the weaponcrafting forges, hoping Ruby had a solution.

* * *

_Minutes later…._

Weiss arrived at the forges. Given that it was the afternoon just before the weekend, nobody was present, save a few of the new arrivals making repairs for their weapons damaged in the induction, Glynda in the corner with a very sheepish-looking girl- from what she remembered, she was the leader of team MLDY and quite a good fighter- who was trying to hammer out a dent from what looked like shinguards, and finally, Ruby, wiping sweat from her brow as she worked carefully on the inner workings of Crescent Rose, to the left, on an isolated workstation.

Weiss approached her girlfriend, smiling. "Hello, Ruby. I…..see you're hard at work."  
The reaper didn't look up, waving at her with a free hand and using her other hand to pull something out of her weapon with a pair of tweezers. Despite her seemingly serious expression, however, she looked cheery and sounded so too.

"Hey! Weiss!" The reaper chirped. "You're done with the homework already?"  
"Yes. Professor Fall didn't exactly set me a challenge." Weiss remarked, distracted by the sheer complexity of Crescent Rose's inner workings. "…..what, pray tell, are you doing?"  
"I'm trying to make Cress aim better." Ruby explained, sweating slightly with the effort of pulling whatever she was pulling to the side. "It was off by a few millimetres, so I wanted to fix it!"  
"A few millimetres?" Weiss raised an eyebrow. "You're able to tell?"  
"It's kind of a needed thing when you use a scythifle like mine."  
"I thought we said that we were never going to use that word as it's stupid and makes no sense."  
Ruby pouted, whimpering while still looking down. "But that word sounds cool!"  
"And illogical. Anyway!" The heiress forcefully changed the subject, shaking her head. "Not why I'm here. So, listen…"  
"Yes?"  
"I was wondering, that maybe when you're done working on Crescent Rose, you know…..you and I could, um…..eat lunch out." Weiss suggested, rubbing the back of her head. "You know, just us two. Together. It'd be fun! We never get to do anything as a couple alone."  
"No can do!" Ruby responded brightly. "I'm probably going to be stuck working on this all day to calibrate my weapon just right."  
"…it's a few millimetres. It surely mustn't take so long to adjust a rifle to hit a little in the direction you desire it to?"  
"Yes, but bullet spin, wind direction and I've also got to account for bullet drop….." The reaper explained. "It's hard to adjust for direction, but for that? I'm going to have to be testing it every time I make a few adjustments. Sorry about that, I think we'll just have to have lunch some other time."

Weiss sighed disappointedly. "That's a shame. Sorry to have bothered you."  
"No problem." Ruby finally looked up to smile brightly at her, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I think Blake might be available, though, if you're really desperate."  
"…..as much as I'd normally call that a bad idea, I might have to agree with you." Weiss sighed, returning the kiss before turning to walk away. "Good luck with your calibrations!"  
"Thanks!"

As she stalked off, Weiss grumbled, shaking her head.

'_That was…..a waste of time. Perhaps she shouldn't have been my first choice….' _The heiress mused. _'Ah, well, at least I have Blake to find, although whatever she has planned to do, I don't think I'll like it very much….'_

* * *

_Blake's Hangar…._

"Slash harkens." Blake muttered, tapping her pen rhythmically on the paper in front of her- a large blueprint for a prototype of a replica of the infamous Lancelot Albion.

"…..tch….I need to include those, if I want to make a proper Knightmare Frame." The catgirl shook her head. "Although what am I going to power those wings with? I suppose I could juryrig one of the Spiral Engines I have left over and attach it to the back, use it as an extra energy tank in addition to the main batteries to power the wings…..

…..this would be so much easier with someone to bounce ideas off of."

"Oh, would it?"  
Blake jumped, reaching for Gambol Shroud instinctively- luckily for both of them, it was actually on the other side of the desk- and whirling around to glare at her intruder, only to find Weiss, who stepped back, staring at her. The catgirl squeaked in surprise, before realising who was before her.

"Weiss!" She cried, immediately relaxing and sighing. "You scared me!"  
"Believe me, you did the same." The heiress remarked, herself exhaling in relief.

"How did you even get in here? I have the door from the outside locked!"  
Weiss shook her head. "You left it unlocked this time. Anyway, what exactly are _you_ doing?"

Blake studied her for a few seconds, before turning back to her blueprints. "I'm drawing out plans for a new mecha of mine. Watching Code Geass again gave me ideas."  
"Oh, wonderful. _More_ giant robots." The heiress commented, rolling her eyes.

"I personally think they're …..cool….."

Weiss jumped, recognising the voice and looking around. "Nanami?! What the-Blake, you had her around?"

The catgirl shook her head. "No, no, no, that's nobody!"  
"I…heard Nanami. Don't lie to me." The heiress glared at her pointedly. "What is she doing here?"

"…that was a recording."  
Weiss stared at her, dumbfounded. "…..a recording. Of Nanami's voice."  
"Of course!" Blake laughed, a hint of nervousness in her voice. "Yeah, it's a recording of her voice."

"…why do you have a random recording of her voice?"  
"…Yang."

The heiress facepalmed. "That makes way too much sense. Anyway, Blake, I was going to say, do you mind if I join your planning-"  
"I do. Very much." She was cut off as Blake interrupted her brusquely. "I can't think with someone else in the room."  
"But you _just_ said-"  
"I was lying. Now go! Shoo! Away!" The catgirl pressed Weiss back up to the entrance. "Bye bye now!"  
"Wait!" Weiss snapped. "I wasn't-"  
"Bye!" Blake pushed her out the door and closed it shut, locking it behind her.

She strolled back down, sighing in relief, and glaring at the computer terminal where they stored Nanami. It flickered into life, showing the pink-haired girl they'd used as her avatar, sitting down and frowning on-screen.

"…why did you kick her out?"  
"…..you realise she has absolutely _no_ idea you're a computer, right?" The catgirl pointed out. "None whatsoever?"  
"…..oh." Nanami frowned further, sighing. "That's…a shame….." She then yawned, rubbing her eyes as the screen started to fade. "….I'm just…..going to sleep then….good night…"  
Norn popped her head in, looking around and holding a tray of tea. "For you, Miss Bella…..I mean, Blake."  
"Thank you." Blake smiled at her creation, taking the tray and placing it on the desk, before turning back to the robot maid. "Actually…..do you mind staying for a bit?"  
"I will do as commanded."  
"…what do you think I should do about powering this new wing system I'm planning?"

* * *

Weiss sighed, shaking her head as she strolled across the courtyard, away from the hangar entrance.

"…..that was…..rather suspicious." The heiress muttered. "What was she doing with a recording of her voice anyway? That's rather convenient…..bah. Doesn't matter. Who am I to question whatever insane whims Yang wants anyway?"

The heiress sighed, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Blast it all, I have to go to Yang to see if she's actually doing something fun.

I never thought I'd live to see the day _Yang_ was my salvation for something…." The heiress remarked, chuckling at the irony of it.

"Glad to see you're accepting it."

Weiss jumped in surprise, whirling around to see the brawler behind her, smiling. "Sup, Weiss."

"Tch. You surprised me." The heiress grumbled, dusting off her jacket. "What are you doing?"  
"Oh, you know, running errands." Yang shrugged casually. "You know, Harvest Festival's in a few days, people might start getting ready tomorrow, stuff like that?"  
"…..you seem awfully invested in getting ready for the Harvest." Weiss noted, suspicious of Yang's motives. Yang scoffed.

"Well, it's less homework for me. After all, the teachers know I'm working to help organise this, right?"

The heiress snorted dismissively. "Of course. Of _course_ you do this only to get out of work. Why am I not surprised? What are you doing anyway? Who set you these errands?"  
"Oh. Doctor Oobleck did." The brawler explained. "He said he had to work on something to do with 'refining the caffeine in coffee' and stuff, so I had to run his errands for him to get ready for the festival.

He had me hop over to the grocery." Yang explained, lifting her bag of grocer goods to show. "Can you believe they sell ten brands of bread that aren't Schnee Bakery?"  
"Not important." Weiss shook her head. "Do you have anything you need…..help with?"  
Yang giggled. "D'awww…..Weiss! I'm touched you're being so helpful~"  
"Be quiet." The heiress blushed slightly, looking away. "I was only passing through. Don't take this as me softening on you."  
"Oh, you said it. Of course you said it." The brawler scoffed. "Well, at least you've ticked off one of the usual tsundere lines-"  
"Doesn't matter! Is there _anything_ I can do to help?"

Yang tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking down at her. "…..well…as much as I'd _love_ to delegate all the work to you, I can't. I've got to drop these off and then start helping Port put up his stall for convincing kids to become Grimm tamers like him when they're older.

The man can't put up a stall to save his life, but he can blow off the head of a Beowolf…."

Weiss sighed. "Well then. That's…..that's just great. Well, um. You should get going-"  
"I should-"

"And I'll leave you to it!" The brawler saluted to her, before walking in the direction of the staffrooms with her goods.

Weiss looked at her back, sighing. "…well….at least team JNPR might have something to do….."

* * *

_Back in the dorm, half an hour later….._

Weiss lay splayed on her bed, irritated at her lack of things to do. All of her other teammates were busy with things to do, team JNPR had been split into Jaune and Pyrrha doing an impromptu training session in the actual fighting rooms and Nora attempting to treat an ill Ren with chicken soup; soup that smelled vile and Weiss swore, actually had a skull and crossbones waft off of it in purple smoke.

"…...today was a disappointment. "The heiress mused. "Utter disappointment. I found almost nothing to do, from absolutely _anyone._

What did I wrong? Did I approach the wrong people? Bah!" Weiss snapped. "I've got to find _something_ to do before I snap and start doing other stupid things…."

Suddenly, someone knocked on the dorm door, surprising the heiress. She pulled herself up, scratching her head.

"…who would that be?" Weiss wondered, as she turned the knob and pulled, to reveal her mysterious visitor as Winter, who was carrying a tray of tea herself, standing at her door.

"Sis?" Weiss looked confused. "What are you doing here? You're on the wrong floor."

Winter shook her head. "I was aware you were bored, or so my sources tell me."  
"….how did you figure that out?" The heiress inquired, scratching her head.

It's not hard when you're wandering around and you're the only one who knows what is going on." The lady shrugged, smiling. Weiss raised an eyebrow. "You know?"  
"I heard of it through the rest of the student body. One might say I am not entirely oblivious." The lady declared with a slightly bigger smile.

The heiress rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Don't be so clichéd."

"Still, you appeared to be very bored, so I made you some tea so that we may drink together." Winter raised her tray, offering it to her sister. "What about it? Are you up for some tea with your dear sister?"

Weiss sighed, shaking her head. "…..you made this all for me?"

Winter nodded. "….of course? Who else might I invite for tea?"

"…fine May as well." The heiress mused, before looking towards her dorm's tables and taking the tray. "There. Just sit there. I'll get the table ready, okay?"

The lady did as she was told. "Alright. You need only call on me if you need help."

_'...well...at least I had Winter in the end.' _Weiss mused to herself. _'Heh. Should've thought of her first, shouldn't I?'_

And so, the rest of the heiress' afternoon was filled without further incident, enjoying afternoon tea with her beloved sister.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**A/N: As promised, a small breather before we launch into it!  
**

**Next chapter, the Harvest Festival begins! What kind of insanity awaits us here?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, reviews, suggestions and thoughts, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	97. The Harvest Festival, Part 1!

**The Harvest Festival, Part 1**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the finale of Weiss Reacts! This is it, lads. The end of it all. Okay, not the end of it all, as we've got a whole volume after this to finish, but you guys know what I mean by now, surely? No? Gah. I'm padding this thing out too long. Way too long. Regardless, let's get on with this! I'm sure you're all wondering if this'll be anywhere near as good as the Great Antic War, right?**

**I must disappoint you, for, as usual, I'm no master writer, lads. I'll do my best though. Anyway, onwards!**

**A/N: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise Winter would be the exact opposite of Weiss in canon. **

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"Jaune, move it slightly to the left please."

"Where?" The knight called, carrying a large box in front of him, preventing him from seeing her directions.

"The left." Pyrrha responded, before shaking her head. "No, no, my left!"

"Your left? Pyrrha, make it clearer!"  
"I am! Jaune, watch out!" Pyrrha cautioned, before a loud crash informed her that the knight had crashed into a pile of party supplies. The spearmaiden sighed, shaking her head and surveying the area where he had fallen, before strolling over to free him from the tangle of confetti and party hats.

"Hold still, Jaune, I'm coming." Pyrrha called over, sighing in exasperation. A single hand plopped out of the pile, flailing about.

"Mmmphmpmmmph."

The pair was in Beacon's big hall, helping some of the younger Huntsmen and Huntresses decorate the hall for the Harvest Festival; with cutouts of stylized pumpkins and cantaloupes hanging from the ceiling, and most of the hall itself covered in brown and orange wallpaper. Jaune and Pyrrha were assigned to the stage, helping decorate it and set up small 'harvest boxes', where the younger students would reach in and push through piles of cellophane cuttings to grab a small prize; usually a box of Harvest cookies or something, for the festivities.

The Harvest Festival was the celebration of the time at the end of summer and the start of autumn when the harvest was traditionally gathered. The Festival was originally simply a massive feast held in the middle of the kingdom for all to attend, with music, dances and contests of sporting and dramatic feats for all to partake of and spectate, beholding with wonder the skill of warriors and bards alike. Nowadays, it was a general holiday, coinciding often with the last day of the summer term before a month's holiday began for most students, and had evolved beyond a feast on a large table to various events such as concerts, parties and, as one might assume, full-school celebrations.

Beacon, indeed, was abuzz with activity. The academy, as one of the oldest institutions in the kingdom, had close links to the festivities in Vale. Indeed, the original founders; Schwarzschild, D'Orlia, Petrana and Vettel, who had codified the four-Hunter team used, had actually hosted a massive feast in what was now Beacon's main building and used to be the keep used to house trainee Hunters, opening it to common peasants- in remembrance of that, Beacon opened its gates to Valeans who wished to partake of the festivities the school was holding. Of course, to host part of a city in even a big campus like Beacon's needed preparation. Even weeks prior, Ozpin had had parts of the school prepared, and now, students and staff alike were making the last preparations before the festival was due to open tomorrow morning.

And it was during this that Jaune, much to his and Pyrrha's chagrin, had suffered an unfortunate accident involving falling into piles of confetti.

"Owww….." Jaune shook his head, having been pulled out by Pyrrha. The spearmaiden frowned, flicking a stray piece of gaudy paper from his hair.

"I'm sorry about that. I should've been clearer."  
"Dammit….I hope whatever was in that box wasn't fragile….." The knight muttered. "Thanks for that."  
"No problem. Are you hurt?"  
Jaune felt his back, feeling for any bruises induced by his fall. "Uh….nothing I can't just walk off."  
Pyrrha sighed in relief. "Good to hear. Maybe I should place the items on stage myself. Much easier."

The knight chuckled. "Probably a good idea, yeah."  
"…s-so." Pyrrha responded, blushing slightly. "U-um."

"Huh? What's up?" He raised an eyebrow, curious.  
The spearmaiden looked away, trying to avoid Jaune's inquisitive gaze, shifting uncomfortably. "A-are….I mean….you….are you…..do you have…..a-any-"

"Jaaaaaune-kun!"

"Jaune!"

Suddenly, two girls- one doe Faunus, one non-Faunus- latched onto the boy tightly, hugging him.

"Be my date to the Festival!"  
"N-no! Be mine! MINE!"

Pyrrha blinked, and for a moment, it seemed as if she was going to wrench the girls off of her partner and long-time crush, most likely in a forceful manner. The moment passed, and instead, he spearmaiden sighed, frowning.

"Perhaps…..another time, then." She walked off, as Jaune flailed in panic.  
"D-dammit! Guys! Not now! Not now!" The knight pleaded, but it was no use. The two girls were latched onto him like twin vices, looking up at him with pleading eyes.  
"Jaaaaaaauuuune, pleeaaaase!"  
"Come with meeeee!"

Weiss snorted, her arms crossed and watching the shenanigans. "His Semblance is ridiculous. In what world would that _ever_ be useful for fighting?"  
"Maybe he could make the enemy fall in love with him?" Yang offered up as she was crouched down, assembling a wooden chair. "You know, distract them with his good looks and good-guy charms?"

"I have my suspicions about it, but I'll need to do something with him to test it out." Blake responded, calmly flipping through the instruction pages for said chairs.

Ruby frowned. "I don't think you could make Grimm fall in love with you that easily."  
"Thank Dust you haven't been on _that_ side of the Dustnet." The brawler remarked mischievously. Weiss glared at her, grumbling. "Must you make _everything_ perverted?"

"Hey, I'm just saying, people are _weird_ on that part of the Dustnet." The brawler reminded her. "Sheesh. Not everything I do's meant to embarrass you."  
"You haven't exactly done yourself favours in that regard." The heiress retorted, scoffing dismissively.

"I have been _nothing_ if not encouraging and supportive!" Yang gasped in surprise. "H-how could you?"

Ruby shushed her teammates. "Hey! Hey! Winter's coming up to Jaune now!"

Weiss' head snapped to face her, blinking. "What? What would my sister want with Jaune?"

"He's got a Semblance that makes girls and boys fall in love with him." Yang reminded her helpfully. "What do you think she's doing?"

The heiress scoffed. "As I recall, we happen to be immune to it."  
"We're probably just used to the effect of the Semblance." Blake shrugged. "It's there, but we're just resisting it. Winter, on the other hand-"

"The thought of my sister being in love with that idiot?" Weiss scoffed. "Please. I doubt it."

Regardless, she stayed put and quiet, watching with the rest of her team.

Winter was indeed approaching Jaune, smiling her usual lady-like smile. She looked over at the girls latching on to the knight.

"Ladies, I must ask you to desist." The lady inquired politely. "I am sure you are aware Mister Jaune is somewhat occupied?"  
"Oh, so you can ask him out?" The doe Faunus shot at her. Winter paused, staring at her.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We know what you want. You want Jaune-kun all for yourself!" The other girl snapped. "Mine!"

The lady stared at the pair, dumbfounded. Several moments passed.

Both girls then sprung from Jaune as if they had suddenly been burnt, hissing and rubbing their arms.

"Owie!"  
"That smarts!"

The girls slinked away, and Jaune sighed in relief, shaking his head. "T-thanks for that. I think those two were crushing my ribs."  
"Always happy to help." Winter responded, smiling brightly. "So, is there anything I can do to help? I was just assisting Professor Amadeus prepare a special piece for the opening ceremony of the festival."  
"You're into music?" The knight inquired curiously.

"I dabble." The lady explained. "And about my question?"  
"Oh! Oh, um…no, no, me and Pyrrha have this down just fine! Thanks!" Jaune laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Thanks for offering, though."

Winter nodded, before adjusting the collar of her shirt. "Understandable. I was…..also here to ask you something else."

At the sound of that, Pyrrha, who was standing aside, suddenly looked up and towards the pair.

Jaune raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"  
"I was wondering…..purely platonically and without any other motive, of course….if you and I might..." Winter's usual elegance and composure was faltering, for whatever reason, as she attempted to propose whatever she was proposing to Jaune.

Suddenly, however, interrupting their and everyone else's conversations in the hall, a large crack sounded through the school grounds, followed by a low rumble.

Blake looked up. "…..what was that?"

"Beats me." Yang shrugged. "Although that could not have been _something_ good, judging from that rumbling."

Weiss immediately rushed to the window facing the direction of the Emerald Forest, where the sound had seemingly come from, before-

"Oh. Oh, that's just _wonderful_." The heiress muttered, her expression darkening.

"What?" Ruby inquired curiously as she strolled up and saw exactly what Weiss was looking at. "…..uh oh."

In the sky above the forest, a massive swirling vortex had appeared. Black lightning lashed out from the portal, striking random trees and setting them aflame with black fire. Radiating from the portal were crack-like projections, making the sky appear to have been broken in two by the portal's appearance. Swirling winds were being visibly sucked into the vortex, and even the verdant trees below were being pulled up, with visible clods of dirt being pulled into it.

Blake blinked, staring in surprise at the vortex, before adjusting her collar and her ribbon.

"…yeah. That might be a problem."

* * *

_Minutes earlier, in the Emerald Forest…._

Gretchen Faust was out in the forest, drawing a ritual circle in a clearing with chalk, drawing incomprehensible runes within.

The worst-kept secret of Beacon- perhaps only next to Professor Oobleck's desire for a 'super-coffee' that gave thrice the caffeine of a single cup of coffee in a single cup and Glynda's romantic interest in the headmaster- was that Faust, in addition to being a master of Hunting and various other academic subjects, was a master of black magic, arts of darkness and whatnot. Her magic and Semblance were a unique combination, the likes of which had been never seen before, and contributed to her lethality as a Huntress- after all, the ability to deafen your opponents with the part of the first name of one of the many eldritch abominations beyond the world and then annihilate them with a normal attack seemed very useful.

In this case, she was drawing a circle of demonic inquiry. To be precise, she was creating a circle to summon one of a variety of otherworldly spirits to confer with. Although Faust would neither confirm nor deny the rumours that otherworldly spirits had granted her unnatural longevity, it was a well-known fact that she often communed with spirits for knowledge and guidance. Most other academies, although aware of Faust's skill in combat and other pursuits, were distrustful of her for her fondness for the incomprehensible; Ozpin was one of the few who saw potential in hiring her as a teacher.

Regardless, she was in the forest to draw a ritual circle to summon spirits. The sorceress plucked a stray leaf from her frizzy hair, wiping a drop of sweat from her brow.

"There." Faust stretched her arms outwards, before placing her chalk away and exhaling. "It is done."

The sorceress surveyed her handiwork. It was a pretty unremarkable ritual circle, if such a thing could be judged by any standard; candles were placed at regular intervals around the perimeter, and a smaller concentric circle lay in the middle for Faust to sit inside.

"I never did understand the concept of the Harvest Festival." Faust mused to herself as she walked across the perimeter, making sure she didn't break the chalk lines. "And, of course, I must commune today.

Staying inside was not an option. Perhaps I might even find certain…..secrets that I wish to discover today, in which case I must make haste….."  
The thought of a slender, blank-faced man appeared in her mind's eye, causing her to blush slightly, before Faust shook the thought from her mind. She had to concentrate- the spirits would not come to her if she did not have a clear mental image of what she wanted to invoke.

"The incantation escapes me." The sorceress muttered, flipping through her mind to attempt to remember. "….ah. Ah! That's it. Of course. Let us proceed. I cannot delay any further- perhaps they may attempt to find me."  
She cleared her throat, closing her eyes to focus and opened her mouth. The speech that came out was incomprehensible to human ears- even Faust struggled to understand it- and, in essence, was a prayer to invoke spirits from beyond the veil.

The candles around her were suddenly put out by a sudden, harsh gale. The branches of the trees around her swayed briefly, before beginning to shake violently. An ominous aura radiated from the circle, filling the area. Anyone save Faust who was present would be filled with an instinctual dread; one derived from the fear of darkness and the unknown, one derived from the fear of the creatures that lurked beyond.

Of course, Faust herself was beyond that.

The violent gale blew without end in sight. After a few moments, Faust opened her eyes, looking around.

Something wasn't right.

'_That's…..the spirits should've come by now.' _Faust recalled, drawing on her past experiences. The spirits were meant to come shortly after being summoned; not one was in sight, and yet the ritual was going on.

She stood up, immediately drawing her weapon- a small, metal wand, through which she focused her Semblance and Dust- looking around to watch for what _was_ coming through.

'_What did I do wrong? There's…..there's nothing I could've made a mistake in. The runes were drawn right, the candles placed….'_ Faust quickly filed through what she knew could be potential issues.

'…_.no, this was done exactly to order! What could've possibly-'_

Her question was answered, however, as _something_ made its presence known to her. It did not speak. Instead, it presented her with images; horrific ones.

A ruined city, the buildings burning and large humanoids walking through it, their bodies twisted and warped with tentacles and pulsing organs. The night sky, with the moon replaced with a giant eye, staring down upon a group of hooded creatures resembling crustaceans, chittering and snapping their gargantuan claws.

And finally, a woman on her knees, engulfed with flames upon a snowy plain, with cries of horror around her, and a name being cried out, presumably hers, that Faust could not make out.

Faust shuddered. For the first time since her teenage years, Faust was _afraid._

'_This isn't right. What…..what have I-'_

She was then interrupted by a twisted, unnatural cracking noise, and an unearthly roar filling her ears, seemingly coming from above. The sorceress looked up, and-

* * *

_The present, Emerald Forest….._

"Faust was here." Glynda nodded, crouching down and surveying the circle. "This is her handiwork, alright. I've seen this exact circle before, too.

Granted, I never saw it create a giant portal as it has done now. I suspect sabotage by an outside entity, who then used the opportunity to suck her into it- into whatever world it leads to."

Glynda and Ozpin had ventured out into the forest- accompanied by teams RWBY and JNPR, with Winter and Velvet tagging along- to investigate the vortex. If it was sucking nearby objects into it, it wasn't now, as there was no force being exerted on the people present.

Ozpin studied the portal, frowning. "…normally, I would call upon Gretchen herself to investigate the portal to prove your theory, but the circumstances being what they are…"

Weiss leered over at Ren, the local leader of the Antic Order. "Was this some sort of sick prank?"

"Good Dust, no." The gunslinger shook his head. "This...this isn't Antic Order work. We would've rewired it to summon infinite kittens. Whatever did this wanted Faust gone."

"N-no way! Professor Faust's not dead, right?" Jaune inquired, panicking. "That's…..that's insane!"

Glynda shook her head. "I doubt that whatever creature did this wanted Faust dead. Knowing her rituals, there are far more efficient ways of killing her than that.

No…..I think she's been sucked through that portal to wherever it leads."  
Weiss grumbled. "And, of course, as the good professor is the only one who knows near enough magic to figure out where it goes, we don't know."

Ozpin sighed, pulling his glasses off and wiping them. "It seems so. We also don't know what might come out of that portal, either."

Pyrrha thought carefully, before lifting her head up. "So…..what are we to do?"  
"I will have to inform Professors Amadeus, Fall, Oobleck, Peach, Arc and Port to prepare for potential battle." The headmaster explained. "We will need to mount a rescue operation for Professor Faust. That much is certain. We must also ensure that the Festival and everyone in attendance is not threatened.

Teams RWBY and JNPR, I apologise for placing this duty upon you on such short notice, but this portal's unknown properties may endanger the lives of every student, staff member and potentially every Valean here. You are the best and brightest Hunters Beacon has produced, hence why I trust you with this task.

May I entrust to you the task of going into the portal, retrieving Professor Faust, and figuring out how to close it?"  
Jaune thought carefully, before sighing. "…guess there's no way around it. Guys, what do you think?"  
"We can't leave Professor Faust in there." Pyrrha responded, before nodding. "If you will go, I will too."

"Same." Ren nodded in assent. "Nora?"

The berserker chirped gleefully. "Are you kidding? I get to blow more stuff up and watch the pretty explosions! Nora's in!"

Team RWBY collectively nodded. "We'll accept, sir."

Ozpin looked upon them gravely. "This is not an easy task. I wish you the best of luck." He turned to Winter and Velvet, regarding them similarly.

"Misses Schnee and Scarlatina, you are free to stay-"  
"I will accompany my sister and her team." Winter calmly, but firmly intoned. "I cannot allow her to go into this danger alone."  
Velvet nodded in agreement. "I need a bigger role in the story anyway, so I'm going to protect Weiss-senpai!"

"Pipipipi!" Vivi popped out from the front of Velvet's shirt, waving and nodding with her mistress.

The headmaster exhaled sharply. "….very well, then. Make your appropriate preparations. We will prepare a Bullhead-"  
"We don't need a Bullhead." Blake responded. Weiss gave her a strange look.

"What do you mean we don't need a-"  
"We don't need a Bullhead."

Glynda stared at her. "Then how do you expect to go through? Your giant robots?"  
"Trust me, Professor. We don't need one."

Ozpin frowned, but acquiesced to her request. "As you wish, Miss Belladonna. Glynda, if you would accompany me?"

He began walking in the direction of Beacon. The instructor next to him turned to the catgirl.

"…..I hope you know what you're doing, Blake." Glynda remarked, adjusting her glasses and giving her a curt nod, before following her partner, leaving the ten students in the clearing.

A moment passed. Weiss glared at Blake.

"Are you _insane_?" The heiress snapped. "We can't _fly_! And we don't nearly have enough giant robots to hold all ten of us!"

Yang laughed. "You think we're flying through with giant robots? Blakey's far better than that."

"I haven't a clue what's going on here." Ren responded, staring at the catgirl. "What do you suggest?"  
"I think I should, um, reveal what I've actually been working on for the past year." Blake explained, a small, excited smile beginning to form on her face.

Immediately, Jaune and Weiss sighed in exasperation. Whatever was happening, it was bound to be insane.

* * *

_Blake's Hangar…._

"Only one person is aware of what I've been doing the whole year." Blake explained as she walked down to her hangar, leading her friends down there. "That would be Yang."  
"Damn straight Blakey told me~" The brawler gave them a thumbs up. "It's pretty awesome."  
"What could you possibly be hiding from us that you've been working for a year?" Weiss inquired accusingly. "I know you, you'd be over the moon with revealing your latest giant robot!"  
"Yeah. Weiss is right, you're insane about humungous mecha!" Jaune nodded in assent. "What've you made, the Arc Gurren Lagann or something?"

Blake smiled, stopping at a code-locked door, facing her comrades.

"I never said I was making a giant robot. On the contrary, it's the opposite."

At that, the other nine people present stopped, staring at her as if she had suggested that they all immediately do something outlandish.

"…what do you mean?" Ruby tilted her head. "It's not a giant robot?"  
"Nope." Blake chuckled. "I must introduce to you guys my baby, so to speak."

She deftly entered a passcode into the keypad next to the door. "I present to you….Project YAMATO."

The door slowly slid aside, and Blake strolled through, moving aside to let her comrades through and behold the true extent of her project.

"…what in the name of Dust." Weiss looked up, blinking and not understanding what exactly she was seeing.

Winter let out a little gasp, blinking. "…..oh my."

"Oh my's right." Yang remarked, chuckling. "I helped plan part of this thing."

Project YAMATO, as Blake had referred to it, was nothing like a humongous mecha.

On the contrary, it was a giant spacecraft.

The craft was sleek, plated with silver plates and marked with the Beacon emblem on the prow. The body of the craft was long, with what appeared to be the bridge at the prow, linked to the back of the ship with a long midsection. The stern of the craft was triangular, with three giant thrusters mounted facing backwards, and a long, sleek barrel mounted underneath the midsection as the ship's weapon. On each side of the stern, two doors were mounted to admit passengers, and behind the thrusters, a massive cargo door was placed, in order to admit larger objects, from Bullheads to giant mecha.

"I call it the _Iron Savior._" Blake declared proudly. "Cool, huh?"  
Weiss was dumbfounded, completely confused. "How did you even _build_ this?"  
"Your father's money from selling him the design to my Spiral Engine funded all of this. All I had to do was get the parts, make a few extra robots to help me put this thing together- I even borrowed a few workers from your dad's company- and boom, we have a giant spacecraft." The catgirl explained. "I believe I've designed Vale's first proper spacecraft."

Pyrrha frowned. "It looks overlarge. Are you sure we need this?"  
"I'm not sure what's on the other side of that portal, but if we know Faust, it's likely big, angry and packing heat." Yang commented. "The _Iron Savior_'s designed to take on big things, especially with that huge gun."

"It's based on the Wave Motion Gun." Blake explained further. "It's also a personal favourite design of mine. I call it the Spiral Motion Cannon, although it also runs on Dust and normal electricity apart from Spiral Power.

Well, time's a wastin'. Are we going to get in?"

Nora cheered. "Weee! Spaceship joyride! I can tick that off my list!"  
"You _wanted_ to ride a spaceship?" Weiss raised an eyebrow."  
"Of course! Spaceships are big and they make big explosions! The sloth gods would smite me if I missed an opportunity to be in one!" The berserker expounded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'_Of course. The sloth gods.' _The heiress grumbled irritably. _'Dust be damned if those turn out to be __**real**__.'_

….

Everyone piled into the bridge of the _Iron Savior_, beholding for the first time the interior of the ship.

It was well furnished, with seats made from the finest Atlesian leather, but there were almost no consoles or computers for the crew to man- only two in front of the captain's chair and four on each side, and certainly far too little for a ship this size. In front and around them, a vast window peered out onto the rest of the hangar, beholding the Gurren Lagann, Nirvash and other replicas of mecha Blake had worked on previously.

Winter clapped. "Impressive. Your skill for design and engineering is incomparable, Miss Belladonna."  
"Thanks." Blake chuckled. "This really took a load of work. I thought I'd never be able to use it.

Guess we can now."

Velvet examined the captain's chair closely- a keypad and what looked like a screen was mounted on the side, with the screen mounted on a hinge to swing in front of the occupant. "What's this? And why are there so little crew spots? I mean, this isn't some sort of space show, so you can't just operate a ship with, what, eleven crew members?"  
"You're right. Or would be, normally. However, as this is an emergency and beggars can't be choosers, I do have a contingency plan." Blake responded. "Iron Savior, spin on!"

Suddenly, everything flew into life; the lights on the bridge turned on, the consoles flickered open and began running calculations without anyone manning them, and the ship roared into life. From the speakers, a metallic, echoing voice issued.

"IRON SAVIOR ACTIVATED. VOICE RECOGNITION ACCEPTED. WELCOME, BLAKE."

Ren nodded, the realisation slowly dawning upon him. "….so you created-"

"Penny's no longer alone as the first true AI in Vale." The catgirl declared. "The _Iron Savior_ is the second true AI. He can make judgements for himself, so on and so forth. He still needs a few of his kinks worked out, but me and a colleague are working on it."

"I DETECT OTHER BIOLOGICAL LIFEFORMS ON THE SHIP WITH YOU, MISS BLAKE. DO YOU WISH TO EJECT THEM?"  
"No, Yamato. No need to wipe them, they're my friends." Blake explained. Weiss chafed.

"You didn't make it-_him_ recognise us?"

"I didn't think I'd have to for a while." Blake admitted.

Yang clapped. "You even called him Yamato. That's cute."

"UNDERSTOOD. OTHER BIOLOGICAL LIFEFORMS, GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS. I ASSUME YOUR ORGAN SYSTEMS ARE RUNNING AT OPTIMAL LEVELS.

I MUST IMPLORE YOU TO TAKE A SEAT. THE CRAFT WILL MOVE SOON. PLEASE AVAIL YOURSELVES OF THE SEATBELTS."

Everyone decided that questioning the artificial intelligence in charge of flying the ship was a terrible idea and so followed his directive. Blake took the helm, and the screen swung in front of her.

"WHERE TO, MISS BLAKE?"

"The portal on top of the Emerald Forest. It should be pretty obvious."

Yamato emitted a metallic hum, signalling understanding. "UNDERSTOOD."

Nora strapped herself in, before bouncing up and down in her chair, squeeing. "This is awesome! This is more than awesome! This is _amazing_! It's like having pancakes with a cute sloth person flying on the back of a pony shooting rainbows! Yay!"

Weiss was silent as she strapped herself in, simply nodding.

"So…..we're flying into a portal to some sort of eldritch realm to save our teacher, flown in by a giant ship powered by, presumably, manliness." She commented to Ruby, who was next to her. "…when did our lives become like this?"  
"I dunno about you, but I think this whole ship's _awesome_!" Ruby chirped. "I mean, did you see that cannon?"  
"…figures. It must just be me then." Weiss sighed exasperatedly. "Very well.

It seems we're riding into the storm, so to speak."

* * *

_Beacon Campus…._

A large part of the grassy lawn on the grounds suddenly slid aside, revealing vast, mechanical doors, as the _Iron Savior_ slowly rose from the ground, the hum of its engines increasing in volume.

The students on the ground beheld it, watching the giant ship in awe, pointing at it and trying to figure out who or what had constructed such a thing. Before anyone could look to see where it originated from, the doors shut underneath it, closing up the gap in the grounds, and the craft's rear thrusters sparked into life, shooting it forwards towards the Emerald Forest.

…..

"Here goes nothing. We're heading straight into the portal, guys." Blake looked around to her comrades. "We can still stop and drop someone off, if you want out.

Anyone?"

Nobody spoke. Nobody raised their hand and volunteered to leave.

Blake smirked. Quickly, with her keypad, she deftly typed a short message that would be sent to Ozpin's phone, stating that she and her friends had entered the portal, before turning again to her companions.

"Tch. What I expected. Of course, we're just going to have to show whatever's on the other side of that portal just who the hell we think we are!"

"Damn straight!" Yang declared, cracking her knuckles. "Finally! I've been dying to bash some heads."

"It's not too late to hope that whatever's on the other side is like those guys from Ylisse, right?" Weiss remarked hopefully.

Yamato interjected loudly. "THE CHANCES OF A YLISSE-CROSSOVER SCENARIO SO SOON AFTER THE LAST ONE YOU COLLECTIVELY EXPERIENCED ARE EXCEEDINGLY CLOSE TO ZERO, AS CALCULATED BY THE NARRATIVE RELEVANCE CALCULUS."  
"Elf wouldn't make an anti-climax like that. Or he might. O-Elf-sama's a terrible writer." Velvet mused. "Eh. Let's get this over with! For Senpai!"  
"Pi!"

…..

With that, the _Iron Savior _plunged into the swirling vortex, and its occupants awaited the dreadful reality of what they were to face shortly.

* * *

**To be continued….**

* * *

**A/N: Well, wasn't that a thing. Interrupted dates, giant portals, and we **_**finally**_** found out what Project YAMATO was! Good Dust. Next time, we plunge into the realm of the unknown! What wonders await us there?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, reviews, criticisms, thoughts and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time! **


	98. The Harvest Festival, Part 2!

**The Harvest Festival, Part 2!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Well, wasn't that last chapter something? It was indeed something, was it not? Well, let's clarify something with Faust, here. Professor Faust did not, in fact, screw up anything; I made that clear in the text, but people are of the impression she did. She was sabotaged- Glynda says as much, Faust actually suspected it and whatever she summoned, it's not a spirit that she'd normally summon or willingly do so.**

**Now that we've gotten that misunderstanding out of the way, let's get on with the chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there'd be a Hunter duo based on Hansel and Gretel.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

The _Iron Savior_ plunged into the vortex, engines at full speed, crossing the barrier between worlds.

"WARNING. CURRENT MULTIVERSAL SIGNATURES DO NOT MATCH ANY OF THOSE CURRENTLY IDENTIFIED. ARE YOU SURE YOU WISH TO PROCEED?" Yamato inquired loudly, awaiting Blake's say-so.

The catgirl looked around at the people on the bridge. "…..you can still turn around now. We're not turning around to go back until we have Professor Faust."

"We said- or rather, didn't say- this already. We're not leaving without the professor." Weiss reminded her. "Anyone want to get off?"  
Everyone remained silent. Nobody moved to get up or leave. Blake nodded.

"Alright. Yamato, proceed. Full speed ahead!"  
"UNDERSTOOD." The AI responded, before creating a metallic hum signifying his compliance.

The ship continued its voyage, pushing itself completely out of the Kingdom of Vale and into a world unknown.

Weiss blinked, looking over to her teammate. "Wait, multiversal signatures?"  
"Weird energy thingies that differentiate different worlds from each other." Blake explained. "That's a simple explanation, in layman's terms. For example, our world has its own, and Ylisse had its own.

So far, I have Ylisse, our world and a couple of others listed down as detected. I also found one which…..didn't fit anything I'd ever seen before, related to that weird amulet Miriel had. Not counting this one, of course. I'm getting off topic. Anyway, point is, we can tell the differences between other worlds easily."

"…..guys!" Yang called out, her face pressed up against the window. "….you know, I'd usually say something like, 'I've a feeling we're not in Vale anymore' or something…..but…..there's something very wrong with this image. I mean, seriously, seriously wrong."

Weiss got up, looking outside with Yang, followed shortly by everyone else.

"…what in the name of Dust?" The heiress muttered, half-surprised, half-confused.

Knowing the kind of creatures and entities Professor Faust usually decided to commune with, the heiress expected something like a giant writhing pile of tentacles or organs, or a realm of the incomprehensible, with colours that the human mind had never seen and could not understand, or weird, unnerving creatures that could drive you insane with a glance, the likes of which had never been seen anywhere in the Four Kingdoms or indeed anywhere else on that planet. Insanity and Professor Faust were intertwined; where one went, the other followed.

This place was not insane. This was something else entirely.

Firstly, the sky was pitch black- blacker than even the night sky in winter with no stars on a new moon. The only light on this plane came from the bright, ivory moon in the sky, its faint light painting the landscape below grey, and from the vortex leading back to Beacon, the tops of the trees in the Emerald Forest just barely visible through the pulsing portal. The ground below was barren and devoid of life, covered with nothing but dust, and was almost completely flat, with what appeared to be a mountain nearby being the only geographical feature of any significance for as far as the eye could see. Not a tree or even a bush adorned the lifeless, grey plain, which extended towards the horizon and beyond. Weiss swore she saw something twitch on the ground, or movement just out of the corner of her eye, but nothing was clearly and plainly visible.

The world was in a state of lifeless, eternal dusk.

Weiss looked over at Blake, surprise painted all over her face. "…what the…there's nothing here! Not even a tree o-or a bush….there's nothing!"

"MY SENSORS DETECT NO BIOLOGICAL LIFEFORMS WITHIN THIRTY-SIX MILES OF THIS POSITION." Yamato called out, blaring over the speakers. "ALTHOUGH THERE IS A SIGNIFICANT CHANCE OF INTERFERENCE BY DIMENSIONAL INTERFERENCE VIA KETER-CLASS TEMPORAL-SPATIAL DISTURBANCES."

"...is that bad?" Ruby inquired. The catgirl nodded affirmatively.

"Yamato's telling us that this place isn't just a dead husk. Whatever's going on behind the scenes, it isn't going to be fun."

Ren sighed, slipping StormFlower from his sleeves and tensing up for a potential fight. "….alright. Lifeless places are never lifeless, so we'd best get ready for a fight."  
"A fight with what?" Weiss pointed out. "For all we know, there'll be some sort of abomination with weird tentacle organs that resists Dust blasts or something. We'd best be ready for evasive action, not for an outright fight."

Ruby frowned. "It won't be that bad, right? What are the chances of-mmmph!"

The reaper suddenly found Yang's hand clamped over her mouth, as the brawler hissed at her to be quiet.

"Geez, what is up with you people?!" Yang cried, panicking. "Seriously? That's, like, the one thing you don't say! People tend to get eaten by giant monsters when they say that! Don't you remember all the horror movies I made you watch?!"

Weiss rolled her eyes dismissively. "Oh, don't be so super-"

Suddenly, as if to vindicate Yang's concern, the _Iron Savior_'s alarms suddenly flew into life, blaring and filling the air with a loud, shrill beep.

"PROXIMITY ALERT. I DETECT A LARGE, BIOLOGICAL OBJECT TO THE STARBOARD SIDE." Yamato announced, with what seemed to be fear filling his metallic drone. "FIRING ON IT."

Blake growled, clenching her fist. "Put it up on screen!"

The frontal window of the bridge was suddenly overlaid by an image of the starboard side. Jaune's eyes widened first, then everyone else as they realised the situation they were currently in.

Something was ramming into the side of the _Iron Savior_. No, that would be inaccurate.

A _Grimm_ was ramming into the side of the _Iron Savior_.

* * *

Jaune was the first to cry out in surprise. "What the hell?! Is that a…..is that a _Grimm_?!"

"BIOLOGICAL SIGNATURE RESEMBLES CREATURES KNOWN AS 'GRIMM'. HOWEVER, VARIANT CANNOT BE IDENTIFIED AS ANY KNOWN TO OUR DATABASE." Yamato expounded urgently.

Weiss grumbled. "Oh, of course! Of all places to run into the Grimm in, it has to be whatever screwed up realm this is!"

"Oh my." Winter frowned. "This….does not bode well for our rescue attempt."

Indeed, it was no Grimm they'd ever seen before. Its body resembled a giant squid's, all jet-black, with its innumerable tentacles covered in segmented plates of bone and the tips ending with clubs of sharp bone; three of its tentacles were wrapped around the side of the _Iron Savior_. Its head was covered similarly in plates of bone, with two crimson eyes glaring out each side, malice radiating from them. Underneath its head, in the thick of the writhing mass of tentacles, they could make out a bone-white sharp beak, ramming into the ship's flank.

The _Iron Savior_ had produced several guns from ports elsewhere in the body, hurling green blasts at the Grimm's tentacles in an attempt to force it to remove the ship from its binds, but the blasts almost all but disappeared into its vast blackness, seemingly with no effect until the Grimm let out the most horrific cry any of them had experienced- consisting of a loud, dissonant chittering amidst a high-pitched, demonic pained squeal, and ramming into the ship with greater fervor.

"TAKING STRUCTURAL DAMAGE TO ENGINE TRANSMISSION SYSTEMS." Yamato announced, his fear very obvious even through his metallic voice. Everyone, of course, needed no translation to figure out what that meant.

Weiss looked to Blake, desperation plain on her face. "Blake! You know how to pilot this thing, fix it!"  
"Ggh! Yamato, take evasive actions! Divert the Spiral Engine to repairing damage on the flank and maintain fire on it!" The catgirl ordered hastily. "And try to find us a place to land this thing!"

"What the _hell_ is that thing?!" Jaune cried. "That's a Grimm, but…..I'm not sure I've seen anything like that!"

"…that is a Kraken." Winter suddenly spoke, her voice hushed and her normally calm face looking more concerned, but not outright afraid. "…..it is a legendary Grimm, supposedly having been killed off by the legendary Atlesian mariner Davion Jonas. It was feared for being able to fly and taking down air and normal ships alike until it was rendered extinct."

Ren took in the information, before speaking. "So what is it doing _here_ then?"  
"I haven't a clue."

Onscreen, the Kraken had taken some damage from the blasts, with some of its tentacles having caught aflame, but the gargantuan creature was still ramming its beak into the ship's side, letting out another pained cry. With one mighty peck, one part of the _Iron Savior_ caught flame, and a large explosion roared out from the side, sending bits of shrapnel and balls of molten metal into the Kraken, visibly damaging the Grimm.

"MaJOR DaaaaaMAaaage to AI CoRerRERe…." Yamato called out, his voice fluctuating and rapidly disintegrating. "AAAAAAUotamatic CoNTROL is BEing TURnEd OfF…..MmaaaaaaaNuAL CoNTROL aActivaTED. S-SHUTDOWN IniTIAted to PppRevent FurTHER DaMAGE.

IIIIIII…..I aPOLOgise Fffofofor FailiNG you….Miss Belladonna."

Suddenly, the display at Blake's table suddenly shut down. The catgirl's eyes widened in horror as she attempted to re-establish control.

"Yamato! Yamato! Activate!" Blake implored, but it was no use. "Dammit!"

"Is he dead?" Yang asked, shocked.

"He can't die." Blake reminded her. "He's an AI, he'll live as long as there's a backup of him somewhere; which I installed. However, he's not turning back on until we have the ship repaired, and we need to get out of this situation to do anything about that!"

Ruby flailed her arms in the air. "Guys! The Kraken! It's hitting our thrusters!"

"What?!" Blake cried, craning her head towards the screen.

The Kraken had dislodged from the _Iron Savior_, having dealt a grievous blow to the craft, with most of its body in flames or embedded with shrapnel. It let out one more terrible cry, before swiping at the thrusters of the ship with its club-tentacles.

A loud _boom_ echoed through the ship as it shook from the blow and the ensuing explosion, throwing almost everyone out of their seats.

"Dammit!" Blake yelled, barely holding on to her seat, clenching tightly with her hands. "Everyone hold tight! Our engines are blown! We're going to crash!"

"CRASH!?" Weiss cried, staring at her. "What do you mean crash?!"

"Do I really need to spell it out for you?!" Yang cried out, before grabbing her and Ruby, pressing herself to the side of the ship and flipping over to press them into the sides, casting her body over them. The reaper then pressed Weiss underneath herself, putting herself between Yang and the heiress.

"What are you doing?!" The heiress yelled. Yang grumbled.

"What does it look like I'm doing?! Just shut up and brace yourself!"

Winter had curled her head into her lap, placing her hands over the back of her neck to protect from falling objects, while Jaune and Pyrrha had whipped out their respective shields, crouching down and pressing together to protect themselves. Ren had followed Winter's suit, as a faint white glow surrounded him, signifying he'd temporarily sent his Aura into overdrive to shield himself from blows. Finally, Velvet shielded Vivi by curling up in her seat, protecting the plushie with her body.

Blake was the last to brace herself, curling up.

'_If…..we don't make it all out…..I'm sorry-wait, no. Screw that. We're all making it out of this!'_

"BRACE YOURSELVES!" The catgirl roared, as the _Iron Savior_ first tipped, then dove, pointing straight down at the ground- and the ground came up to meet them-

* * *

…

"….ugh." Weiss was the first to come to, rubbing her forehead. Somewhere in the intervening events, she'd been knocked unconscious. "…..what the….."

The first thing she realised was that Yang and Ruby were no longer on top of her. Yang was nowhere to be seen, but Ruby-

"RUBY!" The heiress cried, kneeling down by the reaper, who was lying on her side, her eyes closed, blood streaming down her forehead.

'_No.'_ Weiss pleaded. _'No no no no no no. Ruby, you're not doing this to me. No. Don't you dare!'_

"Ruby! Get up!" She cried, shaking her vigorously. "Don't you dare die on me, you idiot! Get up!"

'_Ruby, I won't forgive you if you die on me right this instant. If you love me, you'll get back up._

_Get up, you idiotic, stupid dunce…please…..'_

"…..huh?" The reaper's eyes blinked open rapidly, as she jumped away from her, blinking. "Wah! Who?! What?! Who's dead?!"  
Weiss immediately glared at her. "…y-you idiot! What were you doing?! You scared me half to death! I almost thought you were dead!"

"Oh…." Ruby blushed ashamedly, looking away. "S-sorry-"  
"Don't apologise to me!" Weiss cried indignantly, glaring at her fiercely. "….y-you idiot! You stupid, stupid idiot!"

Ruby flinched at her vitriol, before looking in her eyes. The heiress normally clear blue eyes were welling with tears. She softened.

"…I'm sorry that I worried you." The reaper drew her into a hug. Weiss continued breathing heavily, not returning the hug instantly. Instead, she let out a choking sound, before returning the hug.

"You dunce….." Weiss muttered. "…..you had me thinking you were dead…..and t-that's not something I'd ever forgive.

Y-you stupid dunce, don't you dare _ever_ make me worry like that again, understand?"

"I won't. I love you too." Ruby responded, before pulling back and facing her girlfriend. Weiss closed her eyes, her lips slightly agape.

The reaper responded by closing her own, leaning in and-

"If you two aren't busy sucking faces, we have a bigger problem than Ruby having a small cut on her forehead." Ren remarked, causing both girls to pull away from each other, blushing intensely.

"How long were you watching?!" Weiss snapped, her eyes immediately returning to their usual glare. Ren rolled his eyes.

"I just helped Blake out of the chair. If you two mind, we're trying to figure out what to do right now."

Suddenly, Weiss realised, she hadn't actually noticed the extent of the damage done to the ship itself, being too concerned with Ruby's injuries to care.

The bridge was relatively intact, with only some of the consoles damaged, the frontal window destroyed and the side windows cracked. Compared to what she'd expected, it was almost nothing.

The heiress looked over to her left, surveying her other companions; Yang and Blake were busy on the remaining undamaged consoles, attempting to get something running on the damaged ship without much success, Jaune was busy bandaging Winter's bloodied arm, with the lady, clearly pained, trying to remain resolutely calm through it, and Pyrrha was looking concernedly at Nora, who was sitting in her chair, staring into nothingness with wide blue eyes. Finally, Velvet herself was poking around the console, trying to pull Vivi out of a crevice she'd gotten herself stuck inside.

"Pipipi!" Vivi yelped, her stubby arms flailing in the air.

"Vivi, stay still! I can't pull you out if you keep jerking around!" Velvet warned.

Weiss stood up, looking longingly for one moment at Ruby, before strolling over to Blake and Yang. The heiress glared at the brawler first.

"What were you _thinking_, Xiao Long?!" Weiss snapped, as the brawler turned around, facing her.

"Hm?"  
"Your sister looked like she was _dead_ just two minutes ago! Why didn't you help her out?!"  
"She has her Aura, and it was a small cut. Besides, I checked over her before you came to, she was fine." Yang pointed out. "I only didn't wake her up so I could concentrate on helping Blakey fix the ship."  
Weiss turned to Blake. "And what _about_ the ship?"  
"It's…..not looking too bad, but we're still in a bad way." The catgirl muttered, not turning to Weiss as she frowned at the console. "We took some serious damage to the AI core, our engines, and the Spiral Motion Cannon's out of commission, too. Everything else still works, but the ship's downed.

We managed to get the Emergency Spiral Repair program on, and we're currently repairing the damage, but it'll take a while."

"How long?"  
"An hour, two tops."

Ren frowned as he walked up to them. "We can't wait that long. If that Kraken thing nearly destroyed the _Iron Savior_, who knows what's happened to Professor Faust?"

"Do we even know where the professor is?" Ruby inquired. "Or did we come in here without a way of finding her?"  
"Luckily, that stupid tank-obsessed heathen Isara was good for more than one thing." Blake responded, producing the USB marked 'Wukong-Gunther Signal Clarifier'. Weiss raised an eyebrow.

"So?"  
"I managed to add the ability to detect Aura onto the program and installed it on my scroll." The catgirl continued. "According to the Clarifier, Faust should be in or near the mountain, which should be about twenty minutes away on foot."

"We might have a problem." Pyrrha called out, drawing everyone's attention. "Nora hasn't moved since we crashed."

Ren frowned, drawing up to her. "Nora? Are you in there?"

The berserker didn't respond. The gunslinger's frown deepened, and he waved his hand in front of her eyes. "Nora?"

"…..again! Do it again!" Nora called out, bursting into life and whooping for joy. "That was the best ride _EVER_!"

Ren facepalmed, sighing in relief. "…..of course. She's fine, Pyrrha. Then again, I didn't expect otherwise."

"Ren! REN! Can you tell Blake to do that again?! Oh, but more explosions this time!"

Blake sighed. "Nora, the ship's too damaged to fly right now. We're going to need to get there on foot."

"Awwww….." The berserker whined, looking down. "But that was fun…."  
"I never want to be in that girl's head." Weiss remarked darkly.

Jaune and Winter approached the group, with the knight's hand stained red with the lady's blood from bandaging her wounds.

"I must say, you are…..quite experienced with bandaging others." Winter commended Jaune, although her normally confident smile was somewhat strained. Jaune shook his head.

"It's nothing. It's a skill you learn when your sisters get into fights for your sake in school." The knight admitted. "...you sure you can handle it?"  
"I go where my sister goes." The lady responded resolutely. "This injury is only a flesh wound."

"Tis but a scratch!" Yang and Weiss announced at the same time, before staring at each other.

"….you know that reference?" The brawler responded, blinking.

"…I'm surprised you do. I thought it was a little highbrow for you."

"As soon as you two lovers are done squabbling, we need to go over the plan." Blake remarked, clearing her throat. Weiss and Yang both glared at her, reassuring the catgirl she'd gotten their attention.

"Right. Are all of you ready to go? Once we get out of here, we're not turning back until we have Faust."

Nobody, again, said anything. The catgirl nodded.

'_Just as expected. Nobody could ask for a more badass crew, not even Kamina himself.'_

"Alright." Blake clapped. "Excellent. Well, it's not much of a plan, but, as I intended to blast whatever had the professor captured to death with the _Savior'_s cannon, I had to improvise a little.

We head to the mountain, locate her, try to get out without pissing off whatever dragged her, get back, hold out until the ship's fixed, and get out of here. Sound easy?"

"Knowing our luck, it'll be easier said than done." The heiress remarked darkly. "But, we have no other choice."

Jaune nodded, exhaling deeply. "I don't like it either, but it's all we got. We just have to get to the mountain, right?"  
"…..easier said than done." Yang pointed out. "I mean, we might have to fight that Kraken thing again, and who knows what _other_ weird extinct Grimm are out there? But, we don't have any other plan."

"Alright." Weiss nodded at the catgirl. "Lead the way. You've got the Clarifier thing."

Pyrrha held up a finger. "Wait. Does this place even have a breathable atmosphere?"

"…..you've got a point, actually…..but I actually analysed the air outside." Blake responded. "It's a little thinner than Vale, but we can breathe it easily enough. Long as we don't end up climbing the mountain to the summit or something.

Anyone else want to bring up concerns so we don't instantaneously implode the moment we walk outside? No? Alright. Let's go!"

* * *

_Minutes later….._

Everyone trudged across the grey dust, their feet grinding and cracking it under their feet. The _Iron Savior_ lay behind them, green energy sparking at the damaged areas and leaving the mended result behind them, and in front of them was the shadow of the mountain, with the solid white circle of the moon bearing down over them.

Apart from them, however, there was nothing around. In the distance, they could just hear the tortured screams of the Kraken, presumably fleeing to lick its wounds, but after a few minutes, even that faded, and the deafening nothingness filled their ears.

For the first fifteen or so minutes, nobody spoke. They were all focused on retrieving Professor Faust and getting out of there as fast as possible, although it was clear that they weren't scared; the opposite, even.

Nora, unsurprisingly, was the first to break the silence. She took in a deep breath, and started singing.

"IIIIII am the very model of a slothist crazed berserker, I've information megatherine, explosive and whimsical, I know the kings of Vale and I quote the fights so quizzical…."

"Man, today, everyone seems to be quoting the weirdest things ever." Yang remarked, chuckling. "Never knew you were into Gilbert and Sullivan."  
"Who?" Nora stopped singing, staring at her.

"Y'know, the guys who came up with the Major-General Song? Pirates of Penzance?"

"…eeeehhhh?"

"The Mikado?"

The berserker frowned. "…..I don't know what you're talking about."

Ren chuckled, patting her on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Nora."  
"I don't like not knowing things! It makes me want to eat more!" The berserker complained. "Reeeeeeen, make her explaaaaain!"

Winter smiled. "My, my. I find myself a little…..envious."  
"Huh?" Jaune blinked. "Envious?"  
"…I must confess, you and your friends share a camaraderie myself and my team have…never had." The lady mused, sounding somewhat sad and looking down. "You all act so comfortably around each other, much more than I've seen any other team do."

"…..thanks, I…guess?" The knight rubbed the back of his head. "….I'm sorry to hear that. That must be a little hard."  
"I suppose." Winter sighed. "…sometimes, I wish I was part of your group of companions. Even if my sister counts herself as part of the group…..I confess, even in this situation, I feel a little estranged from her…."

"You're one of us. No way you aren't."

"Huh?" Winter looked up at him, confused. "What do you mean, Mister Jaune?"  
"Well, you hang around with us, fought with us back in Ylisse, you talk with us a lot…..and you're here now." The knight reminded her. "I mean, even Velvet's not all that much with us, and she's just as much as one of us as you are."

"…your words are kind." Winter responded, smiling tenderly at him. "…any lady would be lucky to have you by her side."

"E-eh?!" Jaune blushed slightly. "G-gee….you didn't need to say it like that. It's nothing, really!"

"Pipipipi!" Vivi's shrill cry suddenly filled the air, causing everyone to look towards her and Velvet. The plushie was standing on her shoulder, jumping and yelling, pointing at something in the distance.

Velvet looked over. "What's going on? Vivi?"  
"…..oh. That's just _ridiculous._" Weiss remarked.

A pack of tiny Grimm creatures was surging towards them- about fifty or so Grimm. From this distance, they appeared to be about their height, but the shape was not easily discernible. A loud shrill cry came from the pack of Grimm, sending a chill down everyone's spines.

Everyone drew their weapons, getting ready for a fight. Weiss blinked.

"What _are_ those things?" The heiress inquired, looking over to Winter. "Sister, do you know?"  
"…they appear to be…..Nyctoraptors." The lady responded, squinting. "Yes…..Nyctoraptors. They were prehistoric Grimm that went extinct around the time humans gained access to Dust."

"….Raptors? As in….._dinosaur_ raptors? Like Lyserg dinosaur raptors?" Yang inquired, blinking. Winter nodded.

"They would be about Sir Lyserg's height, yes."

"Uh oh." The brawler swallowed, and the pack of Nyctoraptors was finally close enough to identify.

They were, indeed, similar in body shape to Sir Lyserg, with red markings across their jet-black body, and their heads were crowned with a mask of bone, reaching across their snout and trailing large fangs down to where their mouths were. Around their necks, a crown of razor-sharp crimson feathers was arrayed- and one of the raptors stood out, with larger feathers marked with white streaks around the base of the feathers. It stood at the front of the pack, seemingly acting as the leader.

The Grimm creatures hissed at the interlopers in their realm, before leaping into combat, with the one in front heading in first.

…..

Yang met the alpha Nyctoraptor with a yell followed by delivering a powerful punch to its face with Ember Celica, throwing it aside with one blow.

"Gotcha!" The brawler roared. "Come on! Bring it!"

To her side, Weiss and Ruby stood back to back, Myrtenaster and Crescent Rose out, and red and white flashed and tore through the Nyctoraptor pack, throwing them aside with equivalent ease. The heiress flicked her chamber around to fire Dust, stabbing her rapier into the front of one that had attempted to leap at her. The Grimm screeched, before burning up into ashes in front of her.

"Tch. Easy." Weiss remarked dismissively. "Barely a challenge to deal with these creatures."  
"Don't get too cocky, Weiss!" Ruby reminded her, twirling her scythe to decapitate a pair that was attempting to tackle her from the side before planting the blade forward in the ground, using it to stabilise herself to blast another raptor in the face, leaving nothing above the neck.

Velvet was yelling somewhere nearby, cleaving raptor by raptor in two with her chainsaw axe. Behind her, Vivi stood with her mallet that towered over her by several factors of magnitude, sending many flying.

"Pi! Pipi! Piiiii pipipi!" Vivi yelled defiantly, pumping her chest proudly with her stubby arms, looking up to the bunnygirl, who smiled.

"You're doing well, Vivi!"  
"Piiiiii!" The plushie squealed, before continuing to assist her in destroying the pack.

Around them, the party was managing decently enough with their enemies. Pyrrha and Jaune were managing to beat them back, with the spearmaiden bounding off of his shield to deliver a piercing thrust into one of her opponents, while Jaune, holding her up, swivelled around with his sword to cut the leg of one of the Grimm attempting to attack him, tossing it aside. Meanwhile, Winter shot one of the Nyctoraptors with Frauenmantel, before flicking it gracefully into her arms and shifting it into its lance form to resume her rampage; all without losing her ladylike smile.

"My, my. I haven't had a fight this fun for a while." The lady remarked, looking over and nodding to Nora, who was laughing as she batted more of the raptors aside with Magnhild.

"Yes! Finally! Someone who speaks to my very soul!" The berserker cried. "I'm touched!"  
"It seems you're taking quite a lot of pleasure here, huh?"  
"I just like blowing stuff up! Pleasure has nothing to do with it!"  
Ren, who was behind her and calmly putting bullets in the heads of the Nyctoraptors, sighed. "She meant you enjoyed it."  
"Oh! I do! I really do!"

Meanwhile, the brawler picked up the alpha, placing it under her arm and preparing to pummel it into submission.

"I gotcha, you little lizard!" Yang roared. "Come on, haven't you got better than that?"

The alpha Nyctoraptor suddenly stared at her closely, its red eyes staring at her closely. Yang paused briefly, staring at it.

"What the-"  
Then, it let out a loud, piercing screech, shocking her into dropping it. Weiss stared at her, confused.

"What was that?!" The heiress yelled, stabbing one of the raptors trying to hit her from the side casually.

Yang started to speak. "I have absolutely no-"

And then it hit her.

Suddenly, a much larger pack of Nyctoraptors appeared over the horizon, charging straight at them, returning the loud piercing cry.

"…ah." Yang raised a finger. "That."

Weiss looked to Blake, who was pulling Gambol Shroud from the rapidly fading corpse of her last opponent. "Where's Faust?!"  
"She's inside the mountain! If we can find a cave, she's likely in there!" The catgirl called. "But those newcomers are going to be upon us before we can get inside!"  
"…..dammit, this is gonna suck." Yang cursed under her breath, before looking up. "I'll be your distraction!"

Ruby stared at her. "What?! No!"  
"Well, you need to get in there, and I can do this!" The brawler reminded her. "Besides, me and Winter are the most experienced Huntresses here!"  
"Then let me do it." Winter offered. Yang shook her head.

"No way. That arm wound of yours, you'll get swarmed quickly. I'm hale and hearty." The brawler responded. "Trust me, I'll be back."

The heiress growled. "…..tch. We can't do anything about this. For Dust's sake…..fine! You'd better come back, you idiot!"

"Heh. Who the hell do you think I am?" Yang winked at her, before grabbing the much-abused alpha. "Besides, I've got a plan."

"What kind of-"

"Hey, chucklenuts!" The brawler remarked, clambering onto its back and yanking at its feathers. "COME ON! GET MOVING!"

The nyctoraptor hissed and attempted to buck her off as it started running. Yang, however, managed to hang on for dear life, waving at her comrades as she rode off into the distance on the back of a feral Grimm chased by even more feral Grimm.

Blake blinked. "….wow."  
"Wow indeed." Winter nodded slowly. "…..that was…..unconventional."  
"Well, you guys! Come on!" Weiss yelled. "Into the cave! Go!"

Ruby frowned. "…I hope Yang'll be okay-"  
"Of course she'll be okay! She's too much of a dunce to die that easily!" The heiress vehemently remarked. "Now, go!"

Blake nodded quickly. "Right! Follow me, I know where the cave is!"

* * *

The group, sans Yang, finally stumbled into the cave- the one opening in the side of the mountain.

The cave was somewhat wide, and very long, with the very end of the cave lying in darkness. Blake whipped out a flashlight, tossing it to Ruby, who flashed it down the cave to find-  
"Professor Faust!" Ruby called over. "She's alive!"

Indeed, the professor was sitting there, drawing some sort of ritual circle with her wand. She looked up at the mention of her name, adjusting her glasses and peering calmly at her rescuers.

"…..ah. You're here." She noted. "…commendable actions. I guess Miss Belladonna got you here."  
"On the biggest ship ever!" Nora announced proudly. "And the most awesome one, too!"  
Ruby motioned to come to her. "Come on, Professor, we've got to get out of here!"

"…no. Not yet." The witch shook her head. "There's…something here."

Weiss folded her arms. "You've done enough with ritual circles today, Professor. We're here to-"  
"This ritual circle is intended to seal this cave off as soon as I leave it. There's a reason for that." Faust cautioned her. "…..you did see the Grimm here, correct? The Kraken, the Nyctoraptors…..possibly other Grimm that don't exist in our world anymore?"

"…wait a second." Jaune held up a finger. "What do you mean about those?"

"The nature of this dimension is not an eldritch beast." Professor Faust started, adjusting her glasses and finishing off her circle with one last flourish, before it flashed briefly. "At least, not the usual eldritch beast as you and I would define it. I realised this when it showed me…..images."  
"Images?" Weiss tilted her head. "Wait, it showed you images?"  
"Images designed to impart despair upon their viewer. As you know, the Grimm feed on negative emotion." Faust explained hastily. "….you must know what this dimension is.

You know that the Grimm grow stronger with age, correct? This Grimm is ancient, and older than I."  
"Whoa, whoa." Blake paused. "What do you mean _this_ Grimm?"

Professor Faust adjusted her glasses, breathing in deeply.

"This dimension did not simply come into existence.

A very powerful, very ancient Grimm created it, and one which seems to be the oldest, if not one of the oldest, of its kind. Its kind is one of which we barely speak of today- we had thought they were wiped out or had fled the world of man and Faunus. We refer to it by many names in our legends, but it has no consistent name.

_It_ prefers to call itself the Grimmfather."

* * *

**To be continued…..**

* * *

**A/N: Will Yang be okay? Will the Iron Savior be saved? Will Pyrrha/Jaune/Winter be ever resolved? And what in the name of Dust is the Grimmfather? You'll find this all out next chapter!**

**So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, criticisms, thoughts, reviews and suggestions, and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!**


	99. The Harvest Festival, Part 3!

**The Harvest Festival, Part 3!**

**A/N: Welcome, one and all, to the penultimate chapter of Weiss Reacts Volume 2! Woo! Can't believe we're this close to the end! Well, as this is also the penultimate authors' notes section of the volume, I just have several things to say; mainly, that as soon as the Death Battle featuring Yang comes out, we will indeed be featuring it. Also, please, please, PLEASE start suggesting fics for volume 3- but, as some of you already know, the usual rules I have for selecting fics that were unwritten are now currently up in my profile for people to read, in order to save myself time. They will also be subject to change at any moment, as they have not been set in stone yet.**

**However, now that we took care of that, let's get this chapter out of the way and head straight to the finale!**

**DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more Sumerian mythology in the show.**

**All mentioned franchises and characters belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"The Grimmfather?" Weiss raised an eyebrow quizzically. "That sounds like some sort of overcompensating criminal's epithet."

Professor Faust adjusted her glasses, shaking her head. "It sounds like that, yes. I can assure you, unlike overcompensating criminals- and for that, Mister Torchwick can tell you all about it-, the danger of the Grimmfather is very, very real."

Blake held up a finger. "Wait a second. _It_ calls _itself_ the Grimmfather?"

"It may come as a surprise, but this Grimm is sentient." The witch explained urgently. "It can think, and it can speak, too. We don't know where it came from, and, as I said, we don't even know what its true name is anymore.

However, it does more than think and speak."

Weiss scoffed. "Hardly believable. A Grimm that can think and speak for itself? That's preposterous."

"I would know." Faust responded without a change in her tone. "I was part of the group who sealed it out of our world.

I will not elaborate on it, but the creature…if you believe that Fafnirs, Goliaths and Deathstalkers are the worst of the Grimm, that is a false assumption."

"Cut to the point, Professor." Weiss interjected. "What do you mean?"  
"Physical size and strength are not its only weapons." Faust continued, unperturbed by her student's interruption. "No, it has those in abundance, but its true weapons are those of the mind.

It can…._speak_ to you. It speaks to your mind, and sees all and everything within it, and uses it as a weapon against you."  
"Wait, so it basically uses your worst fears against you?" Jaune inquired. The witch nodded hastily.

"Indeed."

"Why?"

"The Grimm feed on negative emotion, including fear." Faust reminded her students. "This is a thing you learn in your first year as trainee Hunters in Sanctum or Signal or whatever academy you may attain. The Grimmfather knows this, and it can exploit its mastery of minds to continue feeding upon you. Even as you resist, it gains power.

That is why we could not slay it, merely seal it away and hope it never returned to our world. It seems it….found its way back. I can only conclude it hijacked my ritual to create an entrance through which it could return to the Kingdoms."

"And what happens if it returns?" Weiss inquired, her voice starting to tremble.

Faust adjusted her glasses, pushing them over the bridge of her nose.

"….likely, it would be defeated, but at high cost. Our world has many warriors, many fighters who could fight it. Other Hunters, other fighters, even those referred to as Magi…..but it would not come without high cost of life.

That is why myself and a couple of Hunters sealed it away, into a realm of his own creation, in order to save as many as we could from it."

"So, do we have a plan to deal with this Grimmfather thing that's dragged you into here?" Weiss asked hopefully. The witch morosely shook her head.

"The best way we can deal with it is by retreating and shutting this portal on him. If we can do that, the seal we placed over his realm will re-establish itself and keep him locked away."

Blake checked her scroll quickly, her fingers tapping on it and producing a representation of the _Iron Savior_ on screen, the damaged areas in orange flashing green. "…..the _Iron Savior_ should be ready for manual flight, even if Yamato hasn't switched back on yet. I suggest we use the cannon on it to overload the portal with Spiral Energy and shut it off."

"Seconded." Jaune remarked, shuddering. "That way, we can get out of this creepy place. Dust, this place gives me the chills…."  
"The sooner, the better." Professor Faust remarked, nodding. "As soon as we get back to this _Iron Savior_, which I presume is a craft of some sort, we should take off at full-speed towards the portal and destroy it as fast as possible.

As Bartholomew would say, time is of the essence, and we have little of it as we speak."

Weiss looked around at her companions, her face pale with worry. "Wait, wait, what about Yang?"

"She'll have her own way back." Ren reassured her. "We have to go. Now.

If _Professor Faust,_ of all people, is telling us that that creature is invincible, the best course of action's probably to get out of the general area."

Jaune nodded worriedly. "Agreed. Let's go."

With that, everyone, now with Professor Faust among them, made for the _Iron Savior_ as fast as their feet could carry them, sprinting across the grey dust. Blake took charge, leading the group, her eyes flitting about to watch for any Grimm ambushes. The catgirl checked her scroll repeatedly, checking on the condition of her ship.

"Come on, come on…" The catgirl pleaded, her eyes on the engine section, which was flashing green faster and faster, signalling that it was nearing complete repair. "…..just need it to get ready…."

Weiss looked around, Myrtenaster shining in her hands. "How long?"  
"Should be about….three or four minutes! Keep running!" Blake barked, nodding to her.

And then something happened. Blake seized briefly, her cat ears twitching.

'_Wait. What the….'_

She felt it again. Her ears twitched.

'…_.uh oh. I can hear something. That's not good. What am I hearing? Is that a…..rumble…..'_

She turned over to Ruby who was running next to her. "Ruby!"  
"What?" The reaper yelled back.

"The ground's _rumbling_! Run faster! Run _faster_!"  
"What?!" Weiss shouted in disbelief. "Again?! Just our luck! Can't we get anywhere without another thing trying to kill us?"

"Hopefully it's just more Nyctoraptors! Maybe they brought Yang back with them!" Ren remarked drily, StormFlower at the ready in his hands.

The rumble was drawing towards them, and the ground was shaking. Blake could hear it draw towards them, faster- far faster than any herd of reptilian Grimm could run, or any giant cephalopodic monsters could course through the air. No, even for Grimm, it was unnaturally fast.

'_Unless…..oh. Oh no.'_

The ground in front of them suddenly exploded, a black, incomprehensibly large shape surging out of the earth and looming over their party.

Blake managed to skid to a stop just a few metres away from the hole, standing the closest to it. Professor Faust was just behind her, staring at the creature that had emerged from the ground, adjusting her glasses.

"…it's here." The witch muttered under her breath. "The Grimmfather has arrived.

Dust help us."

* * *

Weiss clenched the handle of Myrtenaster tightly, staring up at the ancient Grimm that had barred their escape, taking in the form of her new opponent, partially in awe but mostly in utter terror.

The first thing she noted was that it was nothing like any creature that walked the good earth she lived upon. It towered far over her, even over the Kraken or the _Iron Savior_ or any other Grimm she had ever seen. Its giant, spider-like legs- all ten of them- reared up over them and stabbed into the ground, kicking up the dirt where the tips of its spindly limbs planted themselves. Giant plates of bone shielded the upper half of its legs, with what looked like dark, dried blood staining the red markings upon them. Under its abdomen, a pair of ancient, bronze swords was impaled into its body, but if it felt pain, it didn't show it, and it was as if they were but pinpricks to the humongous creature.

As for its upper body, it had a humanoid torso, a gargantuan plate of bone protecting its chest, and two giant bear-like arms, with hands tipped with sharp, jagged claws. The Grimm's head resembled no animal the heiress had never seen, with a long, white snout, golden narrow eyes, and large ears, resembling a wolf's. Its snout had long, blood-red stripes running down each side, leading from its small mouth, which was curled in a small, sinister smile.

"Ah. Hunters." It spoke in a hollow voice, husky and dripping with hunger. "Do you know not who stands before you?"

Blake glared up at it, drawing Gambol Shroud. "Be quiet, creature. We're not afraid of you. Just who-"  
"Who the hell do you think you are? Yes, I know, young _kitten_. I know you full well, especially the accursed _witch_ who threw me asunder." The Grimmfather retorted, its mouth curling into a nasty smirk as the catgirl faltered and Faust stood back, drawing her wand. "You are not the first to say that to me. You will not be the last.

Know you not who I am? I have been in the legends of your forefathers, before your grandparents were but specks in the eyes of their own elders. I have seen the fall of kingdoms and empires, with their desperate straggling survivors seeking solace in cold caves, with my kin awaiting their inevitable demise, feeding upon their despair and their terror. I have slain a thousand of you, who sought to slay me for glory or for the love of country, and their fear and desperation sustained me in my long years, with their eternally echoing cries in my mind for me to peruse at my pleasure.

I am the bogeyman of bedtime stories. I am why you sought the solace of Dust and light. I am the reason you fear the dark.

I am the Grimmfather, and you have slain my kin. For that, you shall perish and become my next _meal_."

"I don't suppose negotiation'll work?" Ren quipped, before aiming StormFlower at the Grimmfather. Professor Faust was assessing the situation, but it was plain from her face that even she was scared of the Grimm before them.

"…we must get to the ship! Do not engage it!" The witch warned, but it smirked.

"Oh? You mean to escape me? We have yet to have such _fun_!"

Suddenly, it reached forward with its giant spider leg, attempting to crush Faust. Luckily, she managed to dodge by twisting aside, pointing her wand at it. Everyone else drew their weapons, and Blake nodded to her allies.

"We're going to need to fight on the defensive."

"Understood." Weiss flicked the chamber on Myrtenaster to ice rounds, and charged into battle, sliding across on glyphs. Next to her, Ruby was sprinting at the Grimmfather, swinging Crescent Rose at its leg.

"I got your back, Weiss!" The reaper reassured her, as she leapt in the air and swung her scythe into its leg-

-and it parried, barely even raising its limb, before flicking Ruby back. The reaper cried out in pain, as she slammed the blade of her scythe into the ground to slow herself down, wincing. Weiss' eyes widened.

"Ruby!" She cried out. The reaper held up her hand.

"I'm fine! Keep going!"

Velvet and Vivi were busy swinging at the creature's legs with their massively-oversized weapons, axe and mallet swishing in unison, but barely even chipping away at the bone plates.

"Gah!" Velvet yelled, barely managing to block the Grimmfather's retaliatory strike with his leg, as it let out a chittering laugh, mocking their efforts to kill it. Vivi managed to avoid another swing, looking up desperately at the bunnygirl.

"Piiii pipippipii!"

"He's too strong!" The bunnygirl cried, looking over to Nora, who was blasting at its carapace with Magnhild.

"Dammit, go down!" The berserker cried, futilely attempting to make a chip in its bone plates. She was also swatted aside, skidding next to Ruby and groaning as her Aura flashed about her, healing her injuries.

"Nora!" Ren roared, before glaring at the Grimmfather and releasing a flurry of equally ineffectual bullets. Next to him, Faust was blasting it with balls of sickly green fire, speaking rapidly in an incomprehensible tongue, and Winter was shooting at it with Frauenmantel. Jaune pushed Pyrrha out of the way of a swipe of its leg and managed to weather a strike with Crocea Mors, bone meeting metal.

The Grimmfather laughed mockingly. "Is that it? Is this all Grimm slayers have to offer against me? This is _pitiful_."

"Tch! It's no use!" Weiss helped up her girlfriend, checking her over for wounds. "He's too powerful."

"…..I have an idea." Ruby looked around, nodding to Blake. "Blake! Hurl out Gambol Shroud's ribbon!"

The catgirl nodded, casting out the ribbon. "Right!"

"Winter, Velvet, Vivi, direct attack!" Ruby ordered, and the three girls nodded, before renewing their assault. The Grimmfather scowled, trying to block their flurry with his legs.

"Tch. Pathetic! Is that all you have? These petty weapons won't hurt me! Come on! At least give me a good show before you die!"

Ruby looked to Pyrrha. "Plant Milo down!"  
"Right!" The spearmaiden responded by stabbing her spear into the ground where she stood. Blake suddenly understood, and she pointed Gambol Shroud behind her, tying her ribbon to its handle and fired, sending the other end of the ribbon towards Pyrrha, who caught it and tied it around the handle of her spear. Blake then ran towards Ruby, passing her the ribbon , and the reaper tied it around the blade of her scythe.

"Ren, Jaune, get into position! Weiss, glyphs! Nora, in position!"

"Aye aye, captain!" The berserker saluted, before positioning herself in front of the ribbon, now shaped like a giant slingshot. Weiss raised Mytenaster, pulling it back and yanking Nora back.

"Firing!" Weiss barked, before letting Nora fly towards the Grimmfather, with her jumping into the air.

"WOOHOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOO!" The berseker roared, soaring through the air. Her feet were met with Jaune's shield, as Ren lifted his comrade into the air before somersaulting aside, landing on his knees and hand.

"Got you, Nora!" Jaune called, before landing himself. Nora somersaulted into the air and stared the Grimmfather in the eye, grinning.

"In the name of the Great God Sloth, I PUNISH YOU!"

"What?"

"THE GREAT GOD SLOTH!"

Shifting Magnhild into grenade launcher form, she blasted him with as many grenades as she could into his mouth, eyes and snout, causing its face to be obscured in smoke, laughing maniacally throughout. It raised its hands up and roared a demonic roar, flailing, as the berserker somersaulted back to the rest of her team, who gathered together, having dismantled their makeshift slingshot.

"…..I hope your plan worked…." Weiss reared up, raising Myrtenaster up and waiting with bated breath.

Jaune breathed heavily, panting. "…..this is going to be a close thing, if it works. Please work…."

Faust adjusted her glasses. "No time! It's distracted! We must go-"

"_No_."

The smoke fell aside, and the Grimmfather glared at his victims below. Everyone jumped back, surprised that he'd survived.

Weiss stared at it with wide, horrified eyes. "…..how?!"

"He's far too strong!" Velvet cried.

Faust looked to her students, desperately shooing them and trying to get them to move. "Start running, I implore you. NOW!"

"Oh my….." Winter called out, looking for the first time horrified, her noble composure finally broken.

Jaune raised his shield, readying himself for another fight. "How did he survive?!"

"I….tire of these games, pathetic _mortals_." The Grimm roared, his voice dripping with hatred. "Now…..you shall die. But I shall have my fun with you first, and I shall feed off of your fear and horro, and then only then will you succumb to oblivion!"

Blake's eyes narrowed, her Aura flaring green around her. "Like hell we-"

"_Despair._"

And then all was silent.

* * *

Weiss awoke, blinking and looking around. The heiress trembled, reaching around for Myrtenaster, and found it, clenching it and finding strength in having her weapon by her.

"U….uggh….." The heiress groaned, pulling herself up, looking around and-  
"No. No. _No_." She muttered, horrified at the sight she had beheld.

Ruby lay in front of her, a large chunk from the middle of her chest ripped away. Her normally vibrant grey eyes were glassy and blank, and her hand was outstretched towards Weiss, as if reaching towards her desperately. Her mouth was open, a dried stream of blood pouring from it, as if she had tried to say something before her painful demise. The sight tore at her heart, but she wasn't the only one.

Nearby, Yang was slumped, dozens upon dozens of scratches and slashes upon her body, her clothes torn and her skin rent to shreds. Blood poured freely from her wounds, and she was unmoving. Winter was impaled upon a shard of bone, her eyes closed and her face contorted in pain as Frauenmantel limply hung from her hand, broken in two pieces. Blake was curled up on the ground, looking smaller than in life, her golden eyes as glassy as Ruby's, Gambol Shroud having been impaled into her own heart. All her friends lay about her, dead; Jaune and Pyrrha, torn asunder, Nora and Ren slumped and bleeding their lifeblood away, and even Velvet, clutching the torn remains of Vivi in her arms, curling around her to protect her beloved from danger even at the last.

Her beloved parents, too, had fallen; Siegfried was face-down on the ground, bloodied and his sword Balmung nowhere to be seen, and Freya-

Freya slumped to the ground, staring plaintively at Weiss, blood pouring from her mouth, as Jormungandr was roughly torn from her mother's body and pointed at the heiress.

Siegmund Schnee stood before her, a mocking smile on his face.

"What's wrong?" The warrior called, laughing. "Your parents, your friends, your lover…..in the end, it's all useless, isn't it? They all died for you."  
"No."  
"They're gone, Weiss. In the end, strength is all you have."  
"_No_."

"And now, you must face me alone, child."

"_NO!"_ Weiss cried, shaking her head. "No! We defeated you! You….no! You can't! Ruby's _not_ dead!"

"Face the truth, child! You are _alone_!" Siegmund declared, laughing harshly. "Alone. Alone you were born, alone you are, and alone you shall die, Weiss.

Face it. You have always been _alone_."

…..

Jaune pulled himself up, looking around, Crocea Mors having been up. He looked around, groaning.

The others had fallen down, their pained eyes shut and flitting frenziedly, as if a terrible nightmare had taken them. Even Professor Faust had fallen, huddled up in a ball.

"J…..J-Johann….." She muttered, choking slightly. "I…I was….I am…."

"Pyrrha." Jaune muttered, before looking to the spearmaiden, who was curled up, shaking her head. "Pyrrha! Get up!"

"D-don't…..please….don't leave me….." Pyrrha muttered plaintively, shaking her head. "Please….I don't want to be alone again….please…."

"Dammit! Pyrrha!" Jaune called out. Realising his efforts were futile, he looked to Winter.

"Winter, please!" He begged, shaking the lady's shoulder. "Come on!"

"…I….Weiss…..I'm sorry…..I'm sorry I couldn't…." The lady muttered, her voice trembling. "I wanted to…I wanted to save you from…."

The knight clenched his fist. Surely Blake would be standing, right? Her courage was beyond everyone else's.

"…n-no…..Yang….no….d-don't leave…." The catgirl pleaded in her frightful dream, and Jaune shook his head.

"What….what happened?!"

"Ahhh. You still stand, mortal."

The Grimmfather looked down upon him, chuckling.

"What…." Jaune's expression of confused fear slowly shifted to one of anger. "What did you do to my friends?!"  
"They are dreaming- dreaming of the things that tear at them, that they fear the most, that eat at their very soul." The Grimm announced, chuckling. "I like doing that to my victims. After all, the more fear, the _better_."

"You…..you _bastard_."

Jaune gritted his teeth, clenching his sword in his hands. The Grimmfather laughed mockingly.

"Ah, the golden knight! I know you well, too! Jaune, son of Andreas, son of Anton. Son of a line of heroes, wishing so _desperately_ to be a hero himself, and yet so far away. Beloved, and yet loving nobody, breaking the hearts of those he professes to care for."

'_No. Don't listen to him.'_ The knight reminded himself. _'He's trying to use my emotions against me. I can't let that happen!'_

"And yet he fears nothing? Why?" The Grimmfather tilted its head, curious. "It matters not. I'll just kill you anyway."

He brought down its massive leg upon the knight, attempting to run him through. Jaune blocked the attack, swatting his leg aside and rolling away.

The Grimm laughed again. "Feisty prey, aren't we? Well then! I shall have some sport!"

"Gggh….shut up!" Jaune roared as he slashed at it with his sword, jumping back to avoid another swipe.

"Face it mortal! You're alone! Alone! Just like your heiress friend! ALONE!"

He paused.

'_Alone? I…no. I'm not alone. Dammit, that's clichéd, but I'm not alone._

_I've got to balance the odds. I'm going to hold the line until they wake up. No, I'm going to make sure they wake up._

_I won't let this thing win! I am not alone!'_

"…..I…..will never…..be…..ALONE!" Jaune declared defiantly.

Suddenly, his Aura flared around him, surging to create a shield around him. Around him, his golden Aura formed warm tendrils, shooting out towards all of his companions.

The Grimmfather tilted its head, staring at him.

This was…..curious. This wasn't meant to happen.

"What in the name of….."

…

Weiss was tossed aside by Siegmund again, who was laughing at her.

"Come on! You had more spirit the last time we fought!" The warrior declared. "Is that all you have?"  
_'I….I can't even….'_ Weiss looked down, scrabbling away from the next strike from Jormungandr.

'_I've got to….I have to fight…..but….'_

Her spirit was broken, and it had been broken the moment she saw her beloved broken in front of her.

'…_..Ruby….'_

"If you love her so much, then you should join her!" Siegmund roared, raising Jormungandr up and thrusting it down at the heiress-

_You do not stand alone._

'…_.Jaune?!'_ Weiss' eyes widened, as she looked behind her, to see Siegmund being tossed aside by an unseen force.

From behind, a strong, warm hand pulled her up, and-

…..

The heiress awoke in the real world, blinking. Ruby was next to her, alive and well, and pulling herself up- as was everyone else.

Weiss was about to go over to hug her girlfriend tightly, before she realised something.

'_Power. I feel so….powerful. What the….'_ She looked down, before she realised her Aura, normally invisible, was flaring, with the white colour of hers tinged with gold.

"What the….Ruby, are you…." Weiss inquired, but the reaper looked down, shaking her head.

"I'm not." Ruby herself was glowing, her red Aura tinged with the same gold hers was.

Blake pointed in front of them. "Look!"

Everyone's eyes were drawn to Jaune, who was bursting with Aura, sword drawn and shield driving back the Grimmfather.

"What is Jaune doing?" Pyrrha inquired, looking down at her arms. "…did he free us from those….nightmares?"

"He did indeed." Professor Faust nodded, adjusting her glasses. "Aura Amplification. One of the rarest Semblances, one that bolsters the souls of those around its possessor. Our Auras were bolstered by his to the extent he managed to break the Grimmfather's hold on our minds and souls."  
"That explains a lot." Blake muttered, clapping her hands. "No wonder people were so attracted to him.

Think about it. I mean, he's already bishonen and all that, but his very presence strengthens you mentally and physically."

"I won't let you win!" Jaune roared, pushing the creature aside, sliding back. Suddenly, however, he could feel his Aura starting to fade.

'_W-what?!'_

Professor Faust frowned. "And it seems, this is the first time he's actively used it. He's used up far too much of his Aura."

"I have you!" Winter surged forward and caught the knight as he slumped back. The knight blinked.

"Ugh….." He groaned. "…thanks…."

Weiss looked up, clenching her hand around Myrtenaster's hilt. "Well, even with that whole amplification thing, we still have to deal with that thing!"

The Grimmfather laughed. "So you are free of my nightmares, are you?"  
"That's right!" Nora declared. "How dare you kill so many sloths?!"  
"Of course! Who the hell do you think we are?!" Blake roared, readying for a fight. "We can take you on, you excuse for a scary villain! COME ON!"

"I can simply send you back to frightful slumber with one word." The Grimmfather retorted, chuckling. The catgirl- and everyone else- faltered.

Jaune's eyes widened in horror. "….no…."

"…..now, you shall all _desp_-"  
"COMING THROUGH!"

"What-"

Suddenly, an alpha Nyctoraptor soared through the air, with Yang on its back, one hand on the feathers and one hand extended and punching the Grimmfather in the face, interrupting him. The other Nyctoraptors leapt onto the Grimmfather, clawing and biting at its bones.

"Grah! My kin! What are you-" The Grimm roared, trying to shake off his attackers.

"I'm the new queen around here now, buddy." Yang remarked as her mount landed on the ground. "Let's just say, Grimm are surprisingly easy to convince to follow you when they think you're the big man."

"Y-you…."

Ren smirked. "I knew it."  
Blake sighed openly in relief. "Yang! You're alive!"  
"Damn skippy I am." The brawler winked at her. "I'm not dying just yet, y'know."

Weiss huffed, crossing her arms. "Well, well! You took your time!"  
"I missed you too, Weiss." Yang remarked, smirking.

"A sight for sore eyes indeed!" Winter commented, smiling. "Thank Dust you're alive, Miss Xiao Long."

Professor Faust adjusted her glasses. "This reunion is all well and good, but we must go! Quickly!"

Blake checked her scroll hastily. "…..darn it! Yamato's not online yet! And the Grimmfather's still standing between us and the ship!"

The giant Grimm screeched at them, tossing aside the Nyctoraptors clawing and ripping at it.

"I…..will ruin you." It declared. "I will ruin you, destroy you and your kin and partake of your blood! DIE!"

He reared up to smash at the people on the ground, before a beam of intense green light collided with his back.

"GRAAAAAAHHHH!" It screeched, falling to its knees, pained, as the bone plates on its back were melted by the burst.

Blake looked up, surprised. "That can't possibly be….that's the Spiral Motion Cannon!"

The _Iron Savior_ was in the air, having blasted the Grimmfather in the back, with the Spiral Motion Cannon underneath the bridge charging up for another beam. It flew past the Grimmfather and lowered itself next to the people on the ground, the doors flying open.

Yang looked to Blake. "I thought Yamato was still offline!"  
"He is!" The catgirl nodded. Weiss grabbed both of their arms.

"Who cares?!" She snapped. "Let's just get out of here before he gets back up!"

* * *

Everyone ran into the ship, and onto the bridge, where everything had been repaired. Blake took her seat hastily, as everyone resumed their seats- Faust sitting by Yang- and resumed command.

"_Iron Savior_, identity Blake Belladonna." The catgirl intoned quickly. "Command enter- run Yamato interface."

"Yamato's not here right now, but I'm certainly happy to help."

Everyone's eyes widened as a screen lowered from the ceiling to reveal Nanami's sleepy visage, her pink hair and eyes as vibrant as ever, peering down at them. Weiss was taken aback.

"Chiaki?! What are you doing here?!" The heiress snapped. "Wait, don't tell me-"  
"I…." She took a moment to yawn. "…..I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm actually an AI, myself."

The heiress glared at Yang. "You…..used an AI to beat me at Team Fortress?!"  
"It's not important right now!" The brawler protested.

Blake sighed in relief. "Thank Dust, Nanami, you saved us! But how did you get on? Where's Yamato?"  
"Oh, Yamato's….sleeping…..he was tired like me…..and I backed myself up onto the ship…..I thought you might need an…..extra hand…."  
Ren nodded, clapping. "An extra hand indeed. That was a good shot."

Yang looked up. "Nanami, can you fly us out of here?"  
"I've played a few…..spaceflight games, I think I can fly pretty well….." The gamer AI explained, yawning again.

Weiss' spirits sank. "So I am to be put at the mercy of a gaming AI whose only experience of flight is with _video games_.

Dust save us all."  
"It's better than nothing." The catgirl pointed out. "Nanami, take us to the exit! Quickly!"  
"Alright….."

Nanami yawned once more, before the _Iron Savior _turned around and began jetting off towards the exit.

Behind them, the Grimmfather gave a wounded roar, before giving chase to the ship, hoping to retrieve his prey.

"You will not escape me!" It declared behind them. "You will die! YOU WILL DIE!"  
"Nanami! All energy to rear thrusters!" Blake commanded.

"You got it."

The thrusters shot up in output, with the exhaust searing the Grimmfather's face. It paid the wounds no heed, too consumed in his hatred for his prey to care.

"No….die….DIE!" It commanded, before swinging its great paw into the side of the ship.

…..

"Ack!" Weiss was nearly knocked out of her seat as the _Iron Savior_ was rocked.

"We've taken a little damage to the side." Nanami sleepily declared. "Not enough to stop us."

The Grimmfather's voice echoed throughout the ship.

"You won't escape. I'll kill you. I'll KILL YOU!"

"He lost composure quickly." Yang remarked, whistling.

Suddenly, the ship began to stop its forward movement, and began to be yanked backwards.

Blake looked up. "Nanami! What's going on?!"  
"It seems he's….pulling us back….." The gamer AI responded, frowning. On-screen, a feed from the back of the ship could be seen, as the Grimmfather's arms were wrapped around the back of the _Iron Savior_, dragging it back.

"Yes, I knew you couldn't escape me." It muttered. "Now, I will tear apart this craft of metal and consume you slowly, painfully, and agonizingly, and I will _savour_ it-"

Yang looked over worriedly to Blake. "What do we do?!"

"…Nanami! Engage the emergency thruster mode!"

"Right."

From the back of the ship, the thrusters suddenly flared green bursts, setting the Grimmfather aflame.

"GRAH!" It roared, trying to shake of the fires, and letting go of the ship, letting it shoot through the vortex, placing them back in the Emerald Forest's skies.

Weiss cheered. "YES! We're free! We're away from that blasted creature!"  
"Not yet!" Ruby reminded her. "We still have to destroy the portal."

Professor Faust studied the screen, shaking her head. "And quickly. Those flames will not hold it."

"Nanami!" The catgirl called out. "Fire the Spiral Motion Cannon once more!"  
"Understood."

The ship turned around as rapidly as possible, before the cannon underneath fired, shooting an intense green beam of energy into the vortex.

The Grimmfather leapt forward, attempting to jump through, but the beam hit it in midair, seemingly knocking it down. The portal crackled with the energy passing through it, before emitting a high-pitched screech. It shrunk rapidly, crackling and rumbling, before it imploded, leaving one last flicker in the air before winking into non-existence.

"…portal destroyed." Nanami declared helpfully.

Jaune sighed. "It's over. We did it. We have the Professor."

"Thank Dust." Weiss sighed in relief. "_Now_, it's over-"

Pyrrha pointed to the right, staring at the window in horror. "No, not yet!"

Suddenly, the Grimmfather leapt at the _Iron Savior_, pinning it down and smashing it into the ground.

Everyone in the bridge was smashed against the frontal windows, forced out of the ship. Luckily, this time, nobody was too injured, and everyone pulled themselves up, as the Grimmfather glared down at them, standing triumphantly over the broken craft. Much of its body was scorched and burned, with many of its bone plates gone or cracked.

It glared down at them with a hateful, hostile gaze.

"Now that your craft's gone…" It promised, straining to speak with the pain it was going through. "I will _enjoy_ ripping you to shreds."

Weiss nodded to her companions. "His bone armour's gone. It'll be easier to fight him."  
"Indeed so." Professor Faust drew her wand, readying herself for a fight. "We have no other choice. If we let him go, he risks rampaging in Vale as well as Beacon."

Jaune groaned, drawing Crocea Mors. "I feel drained, but I'll do this. One last fight, then I'm taking a nap."

"For Senpai!" Velvet declared defiantly, as Vivi stood on her shoulder, facing the giant Grimm.

Ruby stood by the heiress, Crescent Rose fully unfolded. "Weiss. Let's do this."  
"Let's."

By them, the others drew their weapons, standing resolutely against the Grimmfather, glaring at it intensely.

"Come then." Blake declared, challenging it. "Give us your best shot."

* * *

**To be continued…..**


	100. The Harvest Festival Finale!

"Come then," Blake declared, staring the giant Grimm down with a burning, intense glare. "Give us your best shot, _if you can_!"

Her comrades around her contributed to the catgirl's attempt at intimidation by gripping tightly on their weapons, themselves glaring intensely at the Grimmfather. They all stood in a semi-circle around the creature, staring at it up through the treeline.

It dawned upon all of them then just how _gargantuan _in size this monster was; its legs towered over even the tallest oaks and maples within the Emerald Forest, resembling giant spindly spires of cracked and burnt bone. The plates of bone covering its body were all cracked and burned, with its chestplate blackened and with an unsightly crack in the centre from taking two blasts from the _Iron Savior_ dead on. Its face was twisted with hatred and pain, its golden, piercing eyes returning their determined glare with its own, murderous gaze.

It didn't speak, instead emitting a low, guttural growl. The air was thick with tension in that very moment. Even the birds in the distance were silent.

Then, everything exploded.

The Grimmfather was the first to move, using its front legs to stab down upon Weiss and Ruby. The heiress slid out of the way and attempted to stab its leg, only for her blade to be turned by the tough bone plates; even while cracked, these plates were still as durable as the finest man-made armour. Ruby rolled aside, drawing Crescent Rose and firing it at the beast's eyes, her shots barely missing. It turned to her, growling and reaching down to swipe at her, but Yang tackled her out of the way, letting out a mighty yell as she slammed Ember Celica into the Grimm's massive claw. Claw clashed with gauntlet, and the brawler managed, either through sheer strength or sisterly love, to hold him there for a few seconds before casting his arm aside and leaping back to avoid another hit.

"Ggh! Don't you dare touch my sister, you big furball!" Yang roared defiantly, cocking her gauntlets. The Grimmfather responded by attempting to stomp down on her instead, only for Velvet to come in from the side, slamming her axe into the side and leaving a large crack in the bone plates. It let out a pained cry, swinging its leg to strike at the bunnygirl, throwing her aside into a tree.

"Augh!" Velvet cried, her Aura barely cushioning the blow. Vivi hopped onto the ground, grabbing her hand with her stubby arm, trying to pull her up.

"Pipiiipi!" The plushie warned, dusting her off as Velvet pulled herself up.  
"Thanks…..that really hurt…."

The ancient Grimm glowered down upon them and attempted to stab down upon them, only to let out a mighty scream as black, cursed fire seared its back. Whirling around, it saw Professor Faust, her wand shimmering with her black Aura, her features having a resolute quality nobody had seen in the witch in a long time.

"You will _not_ harm my students, creature of the shadow." Faust intoned in an authoritative tone, black flame flickering at the end of her wand.

Before the Grimm could retaliate, however, three grenades smashed into its side, forcing it to turn to face Nora, grinning at it, hanging off a tree branch while holding Magnhild in the other hand.

"Tag! You're it!" The berserker yelled happily. The Grimmfather swiped down upon her, only for her to swing across to another branch, firing again upon its outstretched arm. Ren took this opportunity to leap from behind the tree Nora had vacated, slamming an Aura-covered palm into its hand. A sickening crack filled the area as the gunslinger had broken one of the bone plates upon its body, followed by a pained, angered screech as it clutched the wounded limb, howling at him. Somersaulting backwards, Ren surveyed the result of his work, brushing himself off casually.

The bone plate on the Grimmfather's paw had been cracked halfway down, oozing some sort of black, viscous fluid that seemed to vaporise upon contact with the air. The Grimm glared at Ren with as much hate as it could muster, and he responded with an audacious smirk.

"Huh. Gods really do bleed." Ren quipped, before rolling aside to avoid a swipe from the unwounded paw.

"And mortals will bleed today!" The Grimmfather boomed, snarling. "All of you will bleed! And I will savour it!"

"That would be difficult, as we do not plan on bleeding today, good sir."

Winter's own quip surprised both ally and enemy as it turned around, only to take an explosive musket ball to the eye. It exploded, blinding it temporarily with smoke and shrapnel, and it clutched its eye, howling in anguish. Winter reloaded Frauenmantel, repositioning herself and frowning.

'_That was not as impressive as I had hoped it would be.'_

The ancient Grimm flailed around, knocking several trees aside in its frenzy, swiping at everything it could. Another projectile slammed into the middle of its snout, before being yanked out with the same force as it had gone in with, tearing out part of the bone mask that protected its face.

Pyrrha pulled back Milo with her Semblance, catching the spear expertly. She turned, nodding to Jaune.

"Ready?"  
"Always. Boost me!" The knight ran up towards Pyrrha, jumping up onto Akouo. The spearmaiden yelled before pressing him upwards, throwing Jaune towards the Grimmfather's snout.

"Here goes NOTHING!" Jaune shouted, before planting Crocea Mors squarely onto the gap left by Pyrrha's throw.

The Grimmfather let out a crazed, frenzied snarl, swiping at its face, trying to dislodge the knight. Jaune yelped, attempting to dodge the swipes and failing, being hit by one and thrown back.

"WATCH OUT BELOW!" The knight cried, closing his eyes. Pyrrha could scarcely move before the knight flew into her, knocking both onto the ground.

"Ack!" The spearmaiden cried, looking down upon him. "Jaune? Are you alright?  
"Pyrrha, I'd be asking _you_ that question. I _just_ piled into you like a lemming!"

Yang nodded to Blake. "I think it's your turn!"

The catgirl smirked, whipping out Gambol Shroud, beginning to twirl it in the air. "Let's do this."

Charging at the Grimmfather, she whirled her weapon into the familiar shape of a drill, her Aura catalysing into the familiar green associated with her signature finisher.

She flipped into the air, pointing the Aura-created drill into the gap.

"GIGA!" Blake roared defiantly, soaring through the air. "DRILL! BRE-"

The Grimmfather interrupted her by slamming her down with its closed fist, throwing her back towards the brawler.

"GAH!" The catgirl yelped, her Aura drill dissipating and her weapon losing its shape, as the brawler caught her, dusting her off.

"Blake! You're alright, right?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded, as Ruby, Weiss and the rest rushed to her side. Thankfully, the leaves above were thick, and they could convene without threat of attack- at least for the present moment while it recovered from the pain of the blows it had already taken.

Weiss was the first to speak. "That blasted creature's shaken off everything we can throw at it! It's taken the ship's cannon, all of our attacks- even Blake's accursed manliness drill barely hurts it!"

"That thing's invincible!" Jaune complained. "How are we meant to kill it?"  
Professor Faust thought carefully. "…we are in the Emerald Forest, correct?"

"Yes." Ren nodded. "Why?"  
"I know this area of the forest well." The witch explained, pushing her glasses back over the bridge of her nose. "There is an underground river nearby, and the ground is not strong enough to hold up its weight or much of its attacks. If Miss Valkyrie can detonate her grenades on the ground, the ground will collapse and trap it until we can get assistance to seal it back out-"

Ruby suddenly perked up. She quickly factored in all the relevant variables, and suddenly-

'_I got it! Of course, that makes sense.'_  
"No." The reaper shook her head. "We're not trapping it. We're finishing it."  
The heiress stared at her, confused. "Not you too. First Blake, now you?"  
"Trust me. I think I know how to kill the Grimmfather this time." The reaper explained. "Jaune, you're not too badly hurt, right?"  
"Yeah. What d'you need me for?"  
"Can you use your Semblance again? Not right now, but I'm just thinking. If you can, I think we can kill that thing."  
"How might we vanquish it?" Winter tilted her head curiously. "Do you perhaps, intend to boost Miss Belladonna's Aura so she may spawn a larger drill?"  
"No, but think about it." Ruby explained. "If his Semblance amplifies _Aura_, and Semblances are linked to Aura…..doesn't it then make sense he can amplify Semblances indirectly?"  
"…I know what you're getting at." Weiss snapped her fingers, nodding. "Before we proceed, I'm going to say it. It's a stupid plan, probably going to get us all killed, with almost no chance of success.

…..so get to explaining."

Ruby giggled slightly, before nodding to the rest of her comrades. "Alright. Velvet, Vivi, I'll need you guys for this, too.

What I need you guys to do is listen up, got it?"

* * *

_Minutes later…._

The Grimmfather moved the trees above their spot aside, glaring down at them.

"Hide all you like, mortals, but I will consume your-" It paused, confused, blinking for a moment. Contrary to its expectation, the only person there was Nora, who had Magnhild slung over her shoulder, wagging her finger at it.

"You've been a _baaaad_ dog. Bad dogs need to be punished!" Nora declared cheerily. The ancient Grimm glared at her.

"I-Insolence! Die where you stand!"

It attempted to swipe at the berserker, only for her to roll aside, shaking her head.

"Bad boy! Swiper, no swiping!" She declared, before running away, jumping up into the treeline. The Grimmfather snarled, irritated, before giving chase. It dragged its massive body across the forest, sending down its limbs with as much force as it could muster in the hope it could catch Nora with one stray strike. Nora, however, was far too nimble, dodging its attacks deftly, letting out a blissful giggle every time. Trees fell behind her, torn asunder by the movement of the giant beast, and some were split down the middle, sliced by the giant's limbs- and yet Nora was as cheerful as always, unshaken by the destruction following in her wake.

"Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh, you can't catch me~!" Nora declared proudly, angering the creature further.

"Stay _still_, mortal! Stay _still_!" The Grimmfather roared, before it noticed what was ahead; a massive clearing, with no trees for her to hide under. It smirked, knowing its prey had nowhere to hide.

"No can do, sir!" The berserker responded, before realising the clearing was ahead. With a cheerful whoop, she leapt out of the trees, landing on her feet perfectly in the middle of the clearing, facing up at the giant Grimm.

She wagged her finger once more. "Now now, we're giving you one more chance to be a good boy! Maybe we'll give you some treats if you doooo~"

"Be _silent_!" The Grimmfather roared, before rearing up and attempting to stab down at her with its blade-like legs. Nora smirked.

"NOW!"

Its legs planted themselves in the ground. The Grimmfather snarled, looking around to see where its prey had gone, only to howl in even more pain when Velvet and Vivi slammed into its legs from opposite sides, axe and hammer in tandem, smashing at its legs.

"Crah! Die! DIE!" It tried to reach down at Velvet first, only for her to roll away and hack away at another of its legs, producing a loud crack. It let out a growl, trying to strike back with its wounded hand, only for Vivi to beat down on it with her mallet, injuring it even further.

"Why won't you all just die!?" The ancient Grimm roared, trying to flail at its assailants to try and stop the damage it was taking.

"Pipipipi!" Vivi announced, nodding to the bunnygirl, who replied with a nod of her own.

"You sure that's enough?"  
"Pi!" The plushie nodded hastily, motioning to the cracked bone plates. Velvet clapped.

"Alright! She's ready! Let's get out of here!"

Both of them ran to the opposite ends of the clearing, leaving the Grimmfather trapped with its legs in the ground. It flailed around, trying to strike at whatever it could hit.

"Tch. I'll simply get out of here, you fools. Was this your plan, to trap me in here? This is just mud; I am far stronger than the earth you've trapped me with!" The ancient Grimm declared proudly.

Nora smirked. "No, but one out of three's good!"  
"…..what?" Ren scratched his head, confused.

"You know? Gah, I'll get on with it already! Fine, Renny…."

The Grimmfather attempted to locate where the voices were coming from, before the ground beneath it literally exploded- to be precise, large explosions spouted from the ground around the clearing, throwing rock and earth into the air and rending the air with chaotic noise.

The Grimmfather attempted to rear up and pull its limbs from the ground, but it was too late. The ground beneath collapsed, casting the ancient Grimm into what was underneath, throwing it into the underground river underneath the clearing, with the boulders thrown up by the explosions smashing either into the river or onto the Grimmfather itself, causing it to howl in pain and throw its arms up to shield itself from the falling rocks. The ancient Grimm was drenched in the impact, covered in water and mud, and it looked up, looking for its opponents.

The rest of the Hunters gathered around the massive hole in the ground, looking down at their opponent, weapons drawn. Ruby looked around, preparing for the next part of her plan.

"Weiss!" The reaper called out. "GO!"  
"Got it!" The heiress leaped down, sinking Myrtenaster into the water. From the point the blade made contact with the river, ice spread, trapping the Grimm's legs. It attempted to pull itself out, unable to escape the frozen grasp.

"What kind of devilry-?!" The Grimmfather roared, trying to swipe at Weiss with its palm- but having lost most of its dexterity from injury and having its legs frozen, the heiress easily slid underneath it with her glyphs, sheathing her blade.

Jaune sighed. "Here goes nothing! COME ON!"

Yelling, the knight attempted to invoke his Semblance. He felt his golden Aura flaring and golden tendrils reaching out to his comrades, leaving a golden tinge within their Auras. The knight looked down at his hands, unused to activating his Semblance, before drawing his sword and pointing it towards the Grimmfather.

"Let's get this done! Winter!"

"On it!" The lady nodded confidently, before pointing her hands at the Grimmfather, chilling the air around it. The ancient Grimm sensed the chill in the air, shivering, but scoffed.

"Is that all you have? Making me feel cold? Sons of man, is that all?!"

Normally, Winter's power was not as useful as one might expect in battle. It was far too weak to burn enemies or freeze them; indeed, it was far more useful to make enemies let go of her, or to shock them suddenly, distracting them by sudden sharp changes in temperature. However, with the boost from Jaune's Semblance, she could now freeze water- and with the large volume of water having seeped into the cracks in its bone plating, she could easily take advantage of that.

The water in the cracks froze completely, pushing the cracks open wider than they already were, weakening the already weak plates. The ancient Grimm howled, attempting to strike at Winter, but the lady managed to move aside, avoiding the attack, drawing Frauenmantel from her back and firing another explosive musket ball in its face, blinding him with the smoke and shrapnel.

"Insolent! How….HOW?!" The Grimm roared, swatting at its face and attempting to clear the smoke.

It roared even louder as boulders crashed down onto it, this time thrown by unnatural means. Pyrrha stood upon the frozen river, her magnified Semblance now capable of pulling even the traces of metal within the boulders above, and took advantage of it by crushing the creature with rocks. The Grimmfather roared, its eyes flitting between Winter, Weiss and Pyrrha, attempting to figure out which it wanted to die the most, doing its utmost best to lash out and failing.

Grenades and bullets pounded into the damaged plates as the others unoccupied with targeting the plates hailed as much fire into it as possible. Ren, meanwhile, dove down at it, palm outstretched towards it, a shield of Aura coursing around him, flaring jade and gold. Before the Grimm could move, the gunslinger slammed his palm into its body, sending a shockwave coursing through its body. Bones broke and innards ruptured, as the Grimmfather screeched, severely injured by the boosted strike, and Ren somersaulted into position next to Nora, whipping out StormFlower with a deft flourish, joining his comrades in firing at it.

"Grah! I will annihilate you! Rip you to shreds! DIE!" The Grimmfather hissed, attempting to move out of the ice, but it was no use; Weiss' ice Dust and Winter's Semblance had frozen the river rock solid. Suddenly, Yang surged forward, leaping up and slugging the creature dead on with her fists, clambering onto its snout and punching it repeatedly.

"I! HOPE! YOU! LIKE! KNUCKLE! SANDWICHES!" The brawler tauntingly remarked, punctuating each word with a punch. With each punch her Semblance gained more strength to throw back at the enemy, slowly turning her eyes red with power. The creature responded in kind by plucking Yang from its face, before punching her into the ice, cracking it underneath her and sending her sprawling.

"Yang!" Jaune cried out, before shaking his head and running towards the beast. "You're paying for that! Take this!"

He leapt up again, sinking Crocea Mors into the gap Pyrrha had left earlier on in his bone mask. This time, his Aura coursed into the Grimm's wound, rending it deeper than any normal sword could possibly do; the Grimmfather's anguish was made clear in a loud howl, as he attempted to swat Jaune away from him. The knight managed to retaliate with a slash at his paw, causing more of the black fluid to splatter out and evaporate almost instantly, before jumping off and landing next to Pyrrha, sinking his blade into the ice to stop himself from skidding too far.

"Is that it? Come-"

He was interrupted, of course, as Yang pulled herself up, wiping her mouth on the back of her gauntlet and smirking.

"No, but I'd be happy to _show_ you how much more we've got!" The brawler roared back, before leaping up, gathering the ambient Aura all this throwing around of Semblances had left in one fist, glowing and pulsing gold.

"Torchlight…..BREAKER!" She roared, slamming her fist into the chest plate, causing cracks to start skittering throughout the structure, even managing to slightly move it out of the ice with the force of the blow. She twirled in the air, to reveal Weiss surging towards it, slashing past it and leaving deep gashes in the plate.

"My turn!" The heiress called, before flittering in and out of sight, each time striking at the plate and breaking it further, before finishing off by stabbing it in the centre, sending fire Dust pulsing through the middle and searing the Grimm. It swatted at its chest attempting to grab at her, but the heiress slid down, landing next to Blake.

"Belladonna, you're up!" The heiress called out, and the catgirl responded, twirling Gambol Shroud into the familiar drill shape.

"I've been waiting for this!" She called out, a massive drill of Aura forming and whirring as fast as the eye could see. Spinning towards the centre of the weakened plate, Blake let out a loud yell.

"THIS IS IT! FINAL! GIGA! DRILL! BREAK!"

Colliding straight with the incredibly weakened plate, the Aura Drill utterly _shattered_ the plate, sending bone shards scattering everywhere, showering the cavern with fragments, before Blake flipped backwards, stabbing the scabbard of Gambol Shroud into the cavern wall to survey the damage.

The Grimmfather let out a mortally wounded howl, the black fluid pouring freely from parts of its chest, clutching it in agony.

"Y-you…..h-how….." It gasped out, choking out each word, looking at the Hunters not in contempt, but horror- horror at its impending defeat. "…..you can't possibly…..the blue-haired maiden….with the amulet….wasn't this strong….how could you….defeat me.….."  
"Guess what." Ruby declared, unfolding Crescent Rose fully, pointing the blade towards it. "You underestimated us. And you're going to pay the price.

_Petal Storm!_"

The reaper surged forward, a cyclone of rose petals trailing behind her, faster than she'd ever run, firing impossible amounts of bullets at the creature, before, with one, final, titanic effort, Ruby thrust the blade of her scythe into the Grimmfather's chest, the speed of the blow driving it so far forward it protruded from its back.

The Grimmfather seized, as black fluid seeped from the final, lethal wound. Its eyes widened, blinking uncomprehendingly and looking down towards the scythe planted in its black heart. It reached up, attempting to pull at it, but could not marshal up the strength to, instead coughing up more of the black fluid, before letting out one, final, terrible cry to the skies, howling in agony, before its head lolled to the side and fell still, one last twitch coursing through its body, the last spark of life ebbing away from the ancient, terrible monster, last and worst of its kind that it was.

The carcass of the giant Grimm slowly, but surely, disintegrated, its giant body slowly fading into ashes, as Ruby landed on the ice, looking up and watching it fade away. Everyone breathed heavily, exhausted, their Auras fading away with the end of the fight.

For a moment, nobody spoke, whether it was too much exertion or not wanting to ruin the moment. Thankfully, however, the reaper, who had dealt the final blow, broke the silence.

"We…..we did it." Ruby declared, breathing heavily. "…..we beat one of the strongest and biggest Grimm we'd….ever met…."  
Weiss rested herself on Myrtenaster, standing on one knee from the effort of the last few hours. "Indeed. Indeed we did."

"…that was way, way too close." Yang muttered. "One thing gone wrong, we were all goners."  
"Tch. Since when did you care about things being risky?" The heiress remarked. "I always thought you were all _about_ risk!"

Blake rolled her eyes. "Please. At least we killed that thing. We did it.

And now I've got to go figure out how I'm going to fix the _Iron Savior_. Seriously, he _mashed_ my ship!"

"…you know what, guys?! That was fun! I'd totally do it again!" Nora mused. "Can we go Grimm hunting for big guys like him?"

"I don't think I- or Elf-sama- would be all that interested in writing another big fight like that after this one." Velvet remarked, resting herself on Grimmbane, rubbing Vivi's head softly.

Jaune exhaled. "…you know, guys, I've been wondering."  
"Hm?" Pyrrha and Winter suddenly looked at him. "What?"

"…..how are we going to get home?" The knight remarked. "I mean, the ship's totalled, and it's a long way to Beacon from here…."  
"Not to worry." Professor Faust nodded. "I can surely make a ritual circle-"  
"Enough ritual circles, Professor!" Weiss rebuked her, frowning. "It's because of a ritual circle we got in this mess in the first place!"

"….a spell then, perhaps?"

Jaune lay down on the ice. "Anything. I just want to take a big, long nap already. Festival's tomorrow, guys, just in case you forgot."

"…good point." The heiress admitted, sighing. "I had also better get ready for myself and Ruby's date during that, too.

Fine. Professor, do the honors, but do take care not to throw us into the world of a sealed, angry Grimm next time, alright?"  
"I believe we have heard enough of ancient Grimm for one day." Winter nodded in assent. "I, for one, will retreat to my dorm and have myself some tea."

Yang yawned. "I'm too tired to make perverted jokes about Weiss dating Rubes. Take it away, Professor!"

With that, the witch began preparing their way home, and the ashes of the fallen Grimmfather scattered away into the four winds, before vanishing entirely, leaving almost no trace of its existence at all.

* * *

_The next day….._

"…..and it is with great joy that I announce the opening of Beacon's gates to the public. Let the Festival begin!" Ozpin announced, gesturing towards the gates of Beacon, as they were pushed open by two of the older students.

The final preparations had been made for the Harvest Festival; every single open lawn had a student- or staff-run stall, a massive tent had been set up on the grounds for a show with the Achieve Men, and banners and flags had been set up across the academy. Professor Amadeus and his music students had even come out for the occasion, playing a concert for the more culturally-minded visitors based on the Harvest Odes of famous Valean composers such as Apollonius and Eurydice Salieri.

"Man, there's tons of people here today!" Yang looked around as the visitors began piling through the gates, milling around the stalls.

Weiss nodded. "Indeed. I'm surprised by the turnout."

"Oh, oh! Dad sent a message!" Ruby chirped, holding up her scroll for her teammates to look at. Yang tilted her head, raising an eyebrow. "Hm? What's it say?"

"It says we may get a surprise today." The reaper dictated, before pausing. "Huh. What kind of surprise is he talking about?"

"Beats me." Yang shrugged. "Dad's pretty spontaneous like that."

Weiss frowned. "Judging from the fact your father has mine talking favourably about the time he ended up in jail for a night for doing antics, I wouldn't hold your breath."  
"Ladies," Ozpin called out, drawing the attention of team RWBY. "May I have a moment?"

Ruby tilted her head. "Um, sure. Why?"

"I would like to speak to you about the events of yesterday." The headmaster explained, as team JNPR, Velvet and Winter edged up to them. "First things first.

For your actions in averting a potential disaster by slaying the Grimmfather, General Ironwood has moved to award you all with the Honor of Vale, the greatest award for Hunters, given for courage and valor displayed in the face of incomparable danger."

Everyone looked at him in shock. "WHAT?!"  
Ozpin's expression did not change as he looked around at everyone, adjusting the collar of his shirt.

"That was a joke."

Weiss stared at him in confusion. "Professor! I thought you were serious!"

"Ahem." Glynda rather impatiently cleared her throat behind him. Ozpin frowned.

"Alright. What I was actually here for has to do with what happened yesterday, however." He started. "For your actions yesterday, the Academy Board has moved to award you all with the Light of Beacon, which is the greatest honor we can award to student Hunters. And yes, that is true."

The heiress sighed. "…it had better be."

"Weiss, do not be so rude." Winter cautioned her sister, frowning. "Is that all, Professor?"  
"Not all, Miss Schnee." Ozpin continued. "Professor Faust would like to thank you for saving her from the Grimmfather, and would like to apologise for not being here in person to express her gratitude."  
Jaune tilted his head. "Huh? Professor Faust's not here? Why?"  
"Due to certain….emotional issues, Professor Faust has taken a leave of one month and will return when school resumes. However, she would like to especially thank Mister Arc and has provided him with use of her beloved pet shoggoths."

The knight blinked, confused. "…..tell her thanks? I…..don't even know what a shoggoth is."

"So long as you do not access her basement, she allows you use of her shoggoths." Ozpin clarified, before turning to the others. "As for the rest of you, she wishes you all a good time at the Festival, and as do I.

If you excuse me…."

The headmaster nodded to them, before walking off. Glynda stayed for a few seconds, frowning.

"….I believe he's said everything I've wanted to say." The instructor nodded, adjusting her glasses. "…..well done."

With that, Glynda walked off, leaving everyone to speak among themselves.

Ren rubbed his chin. "Huh. Shoggoths. I wonder what we could do with those."  
"Ren, I don't even know what those _are_." The knight complained. "Can you not go crazy with the antics while we don't know what we're messing with? I mean, we've just gone through this with Professor Faust."

"I kid, I kid."

"Well. Guess there's nothing else to do except enjoy the festival." Yang shrugged, before grabbing Blake. "And you and I are hitting all the stalls!"  
"Eh?!" The catgirl stared at her. "Where are we going?"  
"To the pizza stall! I'm hungry!" The brawler announced, looking happier than one might expect at the prospect of spending time with Blake.

Jaune stretched his arms. "Well, uh…yeah. I might go check out the shows around here."  
"I'll go with you." Pyrrha offered quickly. Winter nodded in agreement.

"As will I, Mister Jaune."

The spearmaiden glared briefly at the lady, who was blissfully oblivious. Jaune blinked.

"Huh? Pyrrha, something wrong?"  
"…..nothing." She sighed. "Let's….just go."

The three walked off, followed swiftly by Nora, who was dragging Ren off to the very visible Pancake Land stall, squealing loudly.

"Pancakes! Pancakes!" Nora yelled. "Pancake time!"

That left, of course, Ruby and Weiss, who shrugged. The reaper smiled.

"So….anywhere you want to check out?"

"…..eh. I'm open to anything. We're going to end up going to some sort of cookie place halfway through anyway." Weiss remarked, smiling right back. Ruby pouted.

"Cookies are amazing! What's wrong with wanting cookies?"  
"…..nothing." The heiress chuckled, giving her a little peck on the cheek. "Let's go.

…..and Velvet, quit stalking me like a pervert!"

The bunnygirl whimpered and stalked off, pouting. Vivi was sitting on her shoulder, shaking her head.

"Pipipipi."  
"Come on! Even if I did say all that stuff, Weiss is still pretty! Can't a girl dream?"  
"Pipiiiipi." Vivi rolled her eyes, before shrugging and pointing towards one of the stalls. "Pipipi!"  
"You wanna go there? Alright."

The pair left, and Ruby sighed.

"You know, if you weren't so cute, maybe she wouldn't want to stalk you so much."  
"B-be quiet." The heiress blushed profusely. "D-dunce. Just-"

"Oh my. You're not who I expected."

Ruby froze, before whirling around and looking behind her.

A tall woman was standing behind her, dressed up in a black shirt and trousers, with a dark green hood and cloak, lightly covering her holstered, folded weapon. Her hair was similar to Ruby's; it was a short black with scarlet tips, but with streaks of silver here and there. Her eyes were light silver, and if it weren't for the crows' feet at the corners of her eyes and her slightly grey hair, one could mistake her for being a woman twenty years her junior. A small smile graced her face, and her arms were crossed.

Though she seemed friendly now, she exuded an air of authority around her, befitting her years of battling the Grimm.

"…..Grandma!" Ruby hugged the lady who had shown up. Weiss looked at her, confused.

"Grandma?"  
"Forgive me." The lady nodded, chuckling. "I apologise. I haven't seen my granddaughter in a few years, so I wasn't aware you were dating her.

My name is Demeter Rose, and I am, as you can see, Ruby's grandmother."

"O-oh!" The heiress was taken aback, before shaking her head. "I-I'm sorry! I must look so rude! I-"  
"All is forgiven." Demeter chuckled, shaking her head. "You are exceedingly polite, Miss Schnee; yes, my son-in-law refuses to stop talking about the fact that his daughter fell for you, and you for her.

Ruby, you've grown up so much since I saw you last. You look almost like your mother."

"Thanks." The reaper smiled at her. "Hey, do you want to hang out with us for a bit and find Yang?"

"A family reunion." Demeter chuckled. "I'd like that very much.

I do apologise, Miss Schnee, if I'm disturbing your date with Ruby. I just….haven't been around here for a while, and I have other duties I must be attending to soon."

"Oh, no, no. Don't mind me! I'm happy to help! It's just a few minutes."

The veteran Huntress smiled. "Excellent. Ruby, lead the way."  
"Alright, Grandma!" Ruby saluted her, before pushing through the crowd, leading Demeter and Weiss through it, searching for her sister.

And so the Festival went on, with much awkward moments, reunions and semi-romantic conversations.

* * *

**A/N: Well, wasn't that a thing! It was indeed, wasn't it! Well, as you guys know, there's always got to be a special thanks section, and here we are!**

**-Firstly, a **_**huge**_** thanks to ****Resisting the Borg**** and ****Half-Blind Otaku ****for their contributions to the Reactsverse, helping me brainstorm ideas for Weiss Reacts and even taking the time to write Reactsverse fics! By the way, you guys should read ****Life Is What Happens To You****, which is Borg's fic about the Reactsverse version of Adam, and ****The Diary of Glynda Goodwitch****, Otaku's fic about everyone's favourite teacher, Glynda, as a teenager!**

**-Secondly, another huge thanks to ****The Layman**** and ****The Zombineer**** for basically always supporting and contributing excellent ideas to the fic! Go read their works, if you haven't already, they're quite good!**

**-Thirdly, a **_**huge**_** thanks to all my regular reviewers- of which there are far too many to count- for always chiming in with their opinions and suggestions! Without you, this fic wouldn't have made it where it is, and I hope you guys know you're all awesome!**

**-And last, but not least, the legion of unseen and anonymous reviewers, readers and the followers and favouriters, you guys are awesome, even if you don't say a thing! If you guys are reading this, you guys better know, I love you guys too!**

**Weiss Reacts Volume 3 will premier sometime this week, god willing, hoping my homework schedule isn't too brutal, and I hope to see you guys there!  
**

**And one last thing. The customary stinger!**

* * *

_Meanwhile….._

Cinder sighed, shutting the curtains to her office, glancing one last time over the festivities on the ground. The pyromancer was currently in a phone call with someone, and she looked concerned.

"Yes. Gretchen's out of town for the next month and for a few weeks while school's in." Cinder confirmed, sighing. "She was reminded of an old friend of hers….Johann Brecht, if the records state correctly. Her room….of course, yes, we'll need a guard on her basement.

A breach like seventeen years ago can't happen again, you know that. I know, I know, but….tch.

You know, this isn't what we're meant to do as the Antic Order. We're pranksters, not heroes and definitely not some sort of foundation devoted to containing the weird. I don't honestly know how we ended up in this mess with that thing, but I just hope we can figure out somewhere else to place that thing so we can just get it out of our hair."

Further chatting over the phone. The pyromancer sighed.

"You'll be taking measures to deal with it? Alright. I'll be around to help if you need me to.

Good day, Wizard Marshall. I'll see you, Reflet and the others at the meeting next month. All hail the shippers."

Cinder hung up, sitting back in her chair. She shook her head, sighing.

"...Good Dust.

Seventeen years gone and it's happening again. We're pranksters, not protectors of society...

Gretchen Faust, you really did leave our work cut out for us."

* * *

**Fin**


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